AN UNTITLED STORY OF A BACKWOODS LOVE AFFAIR BETWEEN A FAT HAIRDRESSER AND A BALD FAITH HEALER

Written by

Chance Cook

EXT. DUSTY FIELD - MIDDAY

DARNELL, a bald, skinny man in his late 40s- early 50s is seen walking around in an ill-fitting suit. He is in a dusty rocky field with no other land marks visible, and is carrying a bible and reciting scripture. It is the middle of the day and the sun is blaring down on his sweaty bald head, reflecting the sunlight.

CU of Darnell's boots walking through horse shit, sinking deeply into it with every step.

MARLA (V.O.)Darnell is a real son-uv-a-bitch. He say he got the power of God, but I ain't believin' that fer a second. He's always trompin' around with his holier than though attitude and his fancy looking suits

EXT. EDGE OF FIELD - MIDDAY

Darnell stands on a hay bail. A barbed wire fence is seen behind him, dividing the barren field with the trees/ grass/ etc, which are seen in the background. He is still in his suit and the bible is still in hand. He is waving his arms erratically and looking up towards the sky, his feet moving rhythmically. He performs the action repetitively, like he is hypnotized, or playing a character for an invisible audience.

MS of Darnell's legs moving rhythmically and erratically like a dancer. Hay and dust fly up all around him obscuring the camera's view of him and creating a strange haze all around him.

MARLA (V.O.)When I was a youngster, my ma (God rest her soul) sed to me, there'r two types you can't trust in this world; men who play at being faith healers, and men who carry around their belongings in shoulder bags.

Darnell rolls around in a dry creek bed, speaks in tongues and gestures wildly at nothing in particular. His suit is covered in dirt.

MARLA (V.O.)But I reckon you can't choose who you fancy, and I can't help but love that son-ov-a bitch.

(MORE)

And I done cut all the straps off his shoulder bags to the point of dulling my finest hair cutting scissors. But come hell or high water, I cannot get that man to quit his preachy faith healin' nonsense.

INT. TRAILER - MIDDAY

MARLA, a fat woman in her mid-40s with teased hair, is seen in outdated clothing of bright color, running her hands through and cutting a wig on a manikin's head. She walks around occasionally to grab hairspray, other scissors, etc., moving her hips dramatically as she does. She is wearing a smile, and is clearly enjoying herself.

DARNELL (V.O.)Marla's bout as useless as tits on a boar hog, let me tell you. Now I'm a man of serious work- God's work. That ain't no joke. I preach, I spread the word, I heal folks. And it's a real hard thang. I gotta be all there; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can't be messin' around with any silly games or hobbies.

Marla plays country gold stereo, dances slowly but dramatically, points her index fingers in every direction and kicks her feet up wildly.

INT. SMALL BATHROOM - EVENING

Marla is naked in a bathtub, immersed in wigs and hair styling products, listening to Patsy Cline and doing barrel rolls around the tub.

Darnell bursts through the bathroom door, still wearing his suit, but this time without his suit jacket on. His tie is slung over his shoulder. There is rage in his eyes and a bible in his hands.

DARNELL Marla! You gotta quit this idol-worshipin' shit, and I don't mean later! Look at how I live my life versus how you live yours: I stay physically fit and dress real well and do the work of the lord.

2.

MARLA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

(MORE)

I mix up concoctions of egg whites and healing herbs for the good of mankind. You're just a big ol' hog. You dress like someone's bad nightmare, when you even dress at all, and you make up vanity mixtures of hair dyes and perm sprays.

Darnell throws the bible at Marla who is still in the tub, using a great amount of violent force. The book hits her in the head. Marla looks at Darnell with anger and aggression.

MARLAYou bastard Darnell! You're so high and mighty in your talk, but in reality you ain't nothing but a self-centered little prick!

Marla stands up from the tub, violently throwing hair products in Darnell's direction. Some of the products hit him, while others hit the wall behind him, bursting and spraying hair spray and styling gel all over the room. She runs towards him and begins strangling him with a wig. Darnell shoves her backwards, exposing her naked body. He looks down at her nudity.

DARNELLYou're a royal bitch Marla, but you rev me up like no other.

MARLAOh my goodness yes.

The couple kisses passionately and fall into the tub filled with wigs and a copy of the bible. Melodramatic music blares in the background.

CU shots of the hair spray, gel, and wig bits, stuck together all over the floor and the walls of the bathroom. The melodramatic music is still blaring.

Overhead MS of the couple kissing in the bathtub

FADE OUT

FADE IN

EXT. CLIFF - LATE EVENING

Darnell, now dressed once again in a full suit jumps up and down on a small, rusty, one-person trampoline situated on top of a cliff/overlook, doing spin moves and absurd exercises.

3.

DARNELL (CONT'D)

His baggy suit flutters with each jump. He does this as Marla, now fully dressed in mismatched clothing from all eras (60s, 70s, 80s, 90s) sits beside him in a lawn chair, smoking and fanning herself with her feet up.

MWS of Darnell jumping up and down on the trampoline with the sun setting behind him.

MWS of Marla sitting in her lawn chair, chain smoking and fanning herself with a folded piece of paper, the sun setting behind her as well.

LS of the entire action.

MARLA (V.O.)It can get real lonely out here if you're all on your own with just your thoughts to keep you company. (Pause) At some point you've gotta realize that most dreams ain't gonna come true, so if you can find a purpose, you gotta take what you can get.

FADE TO BLACK

END

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