“My name is Sarah Ruth Hezekiah. It amazes even me that today I could call myself a woman of faith. My Lord and savior Jesus Christ has redeemed me from nothing. I was absolutely nothing when he found me. I had no idea who I was, what love was and what I would do with my life. My mother was a prostitute who conceived me between plying her trade and smoking as much crack and shooting up as much heroine as she could find. I

was born addicted to drugs. I was born on the floor of a shooting gallery crack house.

I was born premature and addicted to drugs. The doctors never thought I would survive. But apparently God had other plans for me and for my fragile life.

Of course I was taken away from my mother. I was told she died of a drug overdose. But she left me with enough problems of my own. My mother’s birth canal was riddled with disease. She consequently exposed me to Gonorrhea and syphilis. That exposure led me to being born blind.

By a miracle I did survive, but I was damaged goods so no one wanted to adopt me. I was remanded into the care of the department of children services until the nurse who had sat with me and tended to me since birth stepped forward to raise me. She called me her miracle baby and made sure that I knew and understood what that meant. She gave me a Children’s Bible in brail. She was obsessed with scriptures about healing and sight being restored to the blind. We read them day and night the same way most parents read fairytales to their children. I never quite believed they would ever help me until one day I began to slowly see light and shadow. By the time I was 7 years old I could clearly see what I held in my hands.

That was the very first miracle I “saw” in my young life. But it wouldn’t be the last. The nurse who adopted me was a woman of deep faith. Her faith was so deep that it also made her a woman of forgiveness. That forgiveness led her to allow her ex -boyfriend back into her life. She had dated him for years, but she broke off their sexual relationship because of her faith. She was determined to wait until God brought her a husband. Unfortunately Carl manipulated and lied his way to convincing my mother that he was that man. By the time I was 8 years old they were married and he became my step father.

In the beginning everything was fine. Carl went to church with mom and pretended to be the good Christian husband. But soon his true colors began to show. He began to drink, leave home for hours and he became abusive when my mother called him on his behavior. He was strong and violent and I was so afraid of him. By the time I was ten years old he started to come into my room at night when mom was asleep. He put his hands in places that I didn’t even understand myself. It felt strangely good but I knew in my heart what he was doing was wrong. And I was afraid to tell. He said

something horrible to me every time he touched me “You’re just like your mother. She’s a whore and that’s all you’ll ever be.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but Carl had been one of my mother’s johns and he worked for the state so he was able to find out just where my adoptive mother found me. I found out later that he was my mother’s pimp for a while. So once he found out who I was he had no love lost for me. When I look back on it I know that my mother instinctively knew what was happening but she was terrified to accept it. It was such a grossly evil thing and she was afraid of Carl.

Meanwhile I was spinning out of control mentally and spiritually. By the time I reached puberty I was amass of guilt, confusion and desire. I was wracked with guilt about what happened to me but my body craved more. I turned to promiscuous sex for comfort.

When I was 14 my mom caught me attempting to seduce my 16 year old tutor. It was an ugly scene. Mom told me that I was a whore just like my mother. The words stabbed me through the heart. All I could hear was Carl’s taunting voice. I became consumed with anger that my mother wouldn’t keep me safe me from him. I called her a cowardly bitch and she slapped my face. I tried to tell her what Carl was doing to me. But she refused to believe me. I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to get out of there. I packed what clothes I could in a bag. I stole what money I could from her and I took off.

I went as far away as my money would take me. But when I reached the end of my resources I met a strange woman at my final bus terminal. She had an equally strange message for me. She was passing out gospel tracts.

“You got off the bus just in time, baby.” She said in a tone that both soothed me and yet filled me with an eerie sense of trepidation.

“…but you got to go back home. This ain’t no place for you. There is nothing here for you but trouble, far worse than what you left back home. I promise you that child. Obey God and take your butt home while you can.”

I had no idea what she meant and how she would know anything about where I came from. What really freaked me out was her statement that I got off the bus just in time. What did she mean by that? I would soon find out in a few hours. I fell asleep on one of the chairs in the terminal. I was awakened by the morning news playing on the big screen TV. As my eyes squinted trying to adjust to the light they saw a horrifying sight.

According to the news anchor that was my bus-bus No 2115 crumpled beyond recognition. It appeared our driver had been drinking the entire night. He passed out at the wheel. The bus hit a median and flipped over several times, killing everyone on board. The accident happened after I decided to get off.

The strange woman’s words haunted me to the core of my soul. “You got off the bus just in time.”

She was right. If she was right about that, was she also right that I would find nothing but trouble where I landed?

I wasn’t sure of that, but again she turned out to be right. I was running out of money. I had no food or shelter. Then I ran into Amistad.

He was one of the most eerily beautiful people I had ever seen in my young life. From the second I saw him I fell into the unfathomably deep infinity pool of his ocean blue eyes. As the intoxicating liquid filled my lungs all my oxygen was pushed out and I found myself drowning in desire for him. I was only 15 years old. I felt compelled to be next to him like my stepfather. I knew he was dangerous but I couldn’t help myself. It was so telling that his name was that of a slave ship. I didn’t know that I would soon become his slave.

He took me off the street and into his luxurious home…

…and soon into his bed. He pierced my soul as much as his organ pierced my body. The ecstasy that tore through me was so exhilarating it nearly suffocated me. The pleasure was so excruciatingly -intense that it turned into pain that wracked my nervous system. Afterward I lay paralyzed on his bed, but it was not just my body that was immobilized. My mind was numb. I had no idea what I should do next. But Amistad had many plans for me. He

started by sharing me with his friends for cash. Before I knew it I was a full-fledged member of his stable of prostitutes. This was shortly after I reached my 16th birthday.

He also began to ply me with drugs and alcohol. I learned that he was also a major drug trafficker with clients around the country. He sold to children as well as adults. I saw him sell meth to a boy who I would’ve sworn was no older than 14. He was a selfish, evil man, but I was caught up in his web. I couldn’t escape. But I didn’t know that there was someone praying for Amistad.

Amistad’s father Graham Franklinton had been praying for him for years. Amistad’s real name was

William Franklinton II. His father and grandfather William Franklinton were world renowned evangelists and contenders for the faith. Neither of them understood where Graham went wrong with William (Amistad) that caused him to run away abandoning the family, the faith and his destiny to follow in their footsteps. But as the years went by, Graham still never gave up hope that someday his prodigal son would return.

“Father it’s me again, coming before you as always in prayer and supplication for our son. No matter where he is today. No matter what he is doing, he still belongs to you. You knew him in his mother’s womb and before the foundation of the world. I still haven’t given up on the purpose and the future for which you created him. I dedicated him to you in his

mother’s womb. Whether he knows it or not he has a covenant with you. Whether he is faithful to it or not I praise you because you are always faithful to your word. If you declare it you will perform it. As always I only ask that you would protect him and love him in my stead. I also ask that you forgive me for wherever I went wrong with him. And finally I ask that you would bring him to repentance. If I never see him again in this life, allow me to see him in glory.”

Unfortunately Reverend Franklinton was unaware just how close his son was to stepping into eternity-without God. I will never forget that party. I turned 21 that year. Things weren’t going so great between me and Amistad. I think he was getting tired of me. I was no longer the naïve teen he took off the streets. I had been fully indoctrinated into his world and I knew his secrets. His drug business had really taken off and he had suppliers and contacts from around the country. But the power, the money and the prestige had gone to his head and corrupted him further. He was double crossing his suppliers, skimming money that he was supposed to share with his partner and even cutting his drugs. He was headed down a dangerous path that was about to catch up with him.

That night at the mansion, the booze and drugs were flowing. The place was packed with dealers and high roller down low customers from around the country. As always I was a designated party favor. I was to dance, strip and provide full service to the guest if they so desired. I had worked many of these parties before but something that night troubled me. Fear hung in the air around me. A sense of dread and deadly danger clung so tightly to my spirit that it literally weighed my body down. I tried my best to shake it off but I couldn’t. I tried to get high and that wouldn’t even work. The night before I had a dream about that strange woman I met at the bus station.

“Baby I told you that you don’t belong here. You need to go home before it’s too late. There is nothing for you here, but a world of trouble.”

Her words once again stung my ears and pierced my frightened spirit. What did she mean?

“It’s might be over tomorrow baby. Pray to Jesus to keep you safe. He’s got your life in his hands. He has never left you, no matter what you’ve done.”

All that night I prayed quietly to myself. I don’t know why but I actually felt as if God heard me. As I danced on the stripper pole that Amistad constructed in the living room I prayed silently. When strange man after strange man groped and fondled my nearly nude body I continued to pray. When they relieved themselves deep within me I continued to pray. It was crazy but I had never felt closer to God in my life. It was as though I left my carnal body and was carried away into the spirit. I could see what was happening to me but I ceased to feel it. I could even look away and “pretend” that I wasn’t even there. I seemed to float weightlessly above the carnal realm in the arms of the spirit.

But I didn’t know that the woman’s warnings in my dream vision were a lot more literal. You see that night God chose to remove his hand of protection from Amistad. None of us knew that his enemies were lying in wait for him that night. They were biding their time until the party guests had left. As time went on, they slowly but surely began to trickle out. Soon there were only a few hired girls, a few customers and business partners of Amistad left. Then the black cloud of death seeped into our atmosphere.

Heavily armed masked men entered the house and opened fire. They had been sent to kill Amistad because he owed one of his main supplier’s money. Amistad had been skimming the profits, cutting his drugs and doing what he was best at-generally screwing everyone. He was unaware that his supplier had strong, powerful mob ties. That night they decided to make an example of Amistad. Suddenly the lights when out and the bullets began to fly. I

remember feeling one of them actually fly through my hair like a deadly insect at light speed.

Fear enshrouded me like a shield and then something unfathomable happened. An unseen physical presence forced me to the floor. I had no idea what was happening since the other girls were on the other side of the room. Before the lights went out I saw them one after the other fall to the ground, their blood spattering on the carpet as their screams of terror punctuated the silencer-muffled staccato rhythm of the gun shots. But never the less it was real. A strange weight fell upon my body and forced me to the floor. On my way down, the side of my forehead and face scraped the sharp edge of the coffee table. Blood began to stream down my face.

As the gun fire continued I saw Amistad hit the floor. Just as suddenly as the force knocked me down I heard words ringing in my ears. The “voice” was strong, insistent and though calm, it could be heard over the screaming and gun shots.

“Close your eyes,” it said. “Pretend you’re dead or you will be for real.”

Since I had nowhere to run and no other course of action came to mind I obeyed the voice. I closed my eyes, did the best I could to halt my breathing and feigned death. Soon one of the hit men walked over toward my body. The room fell silent. I could hear his raspy breaths. He was like a lion stalking his prey. He must have seen the blood streaming down from my forehead. He kicked me coldly to assess my condition. I allowed my body to go limp and it shook under the pressure of his boot. I was sure I appeared lifeless to him.

“All these bitches is dead.” He said without an ounce of emotion.

“What about Amistad,” he questioned his compatriots.

“Let’s make sure.” Another voice replied.

Then I heard 2 more gun shots and the men began to laugh.

“The mother*ucker is now.” The other voice said. Then all the men once again broke up into uproarious laughter. I had never been so afraid in my life. But I continued to lie there completely still until they all left.

But the trouble was not over for me. Since I was found in the house with thousands of dollars in drugs ( everything from Cocaine & Heroine to Ecstasy, Crystal Meth and Ketamine), and I could not identify the killers or give any relevant testimony about Amistad’s business partners. The feds weren’t interested in offering me any kind of plea deal. I only had an inexperienced court appointed attorney. I was as doomed as a tiny halibut in the mouth of a great white shark. The judge threw the book at me.

She sentenced me to 5 years in the women’s correctional facility with the possibility of parole in 2 years. I was devastated. I had no idea what lay in store for me. But God was not done with me just yet.

Susan Mendelson State Correction Facility for Women

Women’s prison turned out to be a lot more brutal and dangerous of an environment than I could’ve ever imagined. This was no camp cupcake like where they sent Martha Stewart. Life on Cell Block “H” was no piece of cake. I promise you that. I spent my first few nights there having terrible nightmares about the shooting and Amistad’s death. I could not get the feeling that there were spirits in that room that night, some good and some evil. I was convinced that angels saved my life. But demon spirits took Amistad with them when he met his end. Unfortunately I fell in with the wrong crowd in prison primarily because they were able to procure me any kind of drugs that I wanted. When I was working for Amistad I became quite fond of Meth, Cocaine and Ecstasy. They helped me escape from the reality of the life I was living. Of course I had to give “favors” in return for the drugs. I was not really into having sex with women, but I was still young and beautiful so I really didn’t have to do much, but just lay there and let them have their way. Lord knows I got used to that working for Amistad.

Despite my crowd somehow I still felt the need to go to the Bible Study classes held weekly at the prison. I didn’t really know it at the

time, but God still hadn’t given up on me. And he still had a plan for my life. And yeah, I still had the children’s bible that my adopted mother gave to me. I don’t know why I kept it all these years, but I did.

The chaplain leading the Bible study was quite a looker. As it turned out he was an ex con trying to turn his life around.

He couldn’t resist making fun of me for carrying my children’s Bible. But somehow I didn’t want to punch his lights out. When he read the word it seemed to come to life. It actually had a meaning for me. But it was also convicting. I guess somewhere deep inside I wanted God. But I also wanted the escape of my drugs. And I didn’t really think God could love or want damaged goods like me.

“If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things have passed away and behold all things have become new. Who can tell me what that means?” Chaplain Ray asked.

“That means that when you get wit God he gone change you. He gone make your life new. You ain’t gone be the same no more.”

Sledgehammer answered. They called her Sledgehammer because she murdered her boyfriend by beating him to death with a hammer when she discovered him molesting her younger sister.

“Very good Stacy” Chaplain Ray said, using Sledgehammer’s given name. “Preacher I told you ta call me Sledgehammer. That’s my name now. “And I told you that I don’t feel comfortable calling you that. That’s not how God sees you. Jesus gave his life on the cross so that you

could someday get beyond the stigma of what you did to your boyfriend that day. He wants to make you a new creature.”

“You really think so? JC da big man wants to change my life?”“Yes he does. He went to the cross especially for you. If you were the only person on earth who needed salvation he would’ve did it for you alone.”“Man you gotta be playin’ me. I never thought about it like dat. JC would’ve got his cross on just for me. Ain’t dat a blip.”

As more proof that the Lord truly does work in mysterious ways, Sledgehammer eventually gave her heart to Jesus. Everyone was stunned. Over the years she had become a bitter, dangerous woman. She got hooked on drugs in the joint, dabbled in lesbianism and was an all-around cynical bitch. But Christ turned her around incredibly.

The Lord also used Chaplain Ray to pour his love into my life also. As much as I fought it I found myself falling in love with both Ray and the word of God. Ray gave me, or should I say showed me more unconditional love than anyone in my life. He and more surprisingly God never pressured me to give up my drugs. They both just showed me that I had something much better for which to live. The love of both of them overshadowed any desire I had for drugs. My dope didn’t stand a chance. I eventually married Ray and he helped me get an early parole. Ray and I left the prison together. And for decades our love seemed as strong as possible. But as always in my life the dang other shoe had to drop.

I had truly given up the devil, but it appeared he wasn’t quite ready to get out of my life. This time he back-doored me by attacking my marriage. Over the years God has blessed me with discernment. But I never, ever suspected something like this would threaten my marriage. Ray and I are separated now. And here I am pregnant with his child at 59 years old. I know I should’ve taken this as a miracle. But it felt more like a curse.

I didn’t know what to do. So I turned to the only thing I really had ever known for comfort. My faith.

“Father I’m so lost. I should be rejoicing before you, but my heart is so heavy. I don’t know what to do. All my life you’ve shown me the way. I know you haven’t left me, but I feel so alone. This child inside me is a miracle. I know it’s a miracle. But it feels so much more like a curse. Please forgive me. I’m so ashamed of the way I feel. I’m so ashamed of doubting your will and providence in my life. I’m so unworthy. I…”

Suddenly I lost concentration on my prayer. A blindingly bright light came into my room. My eyes squinted and I was frankly afraid that I would go blind from the intensity of this light. Then he appeared…

“My God, who…what…who are you?”

“Fear not daughter of the most high.”

“Daughter of the most…wait a minute. You’re…you ‘re…an angel.”

“I am a servant of the most high-the alpha, the omega-he who was, is and is to come.”

“I…I…I don’t know what to say. I’m so unworthy. Please forgive me.”

“You have found favor with the most high, daughter of our father.”

“Favor? I don’t understand. Oh…Oh my Lord you mean the baby? “

“You have been called and the soul in your womb has been chosen.”

“Chosen…chosen by Jesus? Chosen, by the Lord?”

“Yes daughter of the most high. You and your seed have been predestined for service in a time such as this.”

When I heard the angel’s words I fell to my knees. I like to think it was out of reverence to my savior. But I still felt such a burden of unworthiness to be chosen by God of the universe.

“Thank you, Jesus,” escaped my mouth practically by itself.

“Your seed will bring glory and praises to the most high forever more.”

“So it is a miracle. Thank you Jesus! Praise you Lord!”

“Daughter of the most high you must heed the words of the father. You must do all he commands to keep thy seed safe.”

“I will. But what does God want me to do?”

“Our father will order your steps. You must follow his commands. The soul of the child growing in your womb is in danger.”

“Oh my Lord.”

“Fear not because our father has overcome he that is in the world. You need only follow his commands. His providence for you and your seed was determined before the foundation of the world.”

“The angel’s visit left me even more confused. I knew that it was only right that I tell Ray what was going on. But could be handle the news in his condition? Would be even understand me if I did tell him?”

East Side Mental Hospital

”Doctor, how is Ray doing?”

“He’s lucid primarily. But I’m still concerned about his perception of reality frankly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’s a puzzle. He seems totally in touch with reality but he won’t let go of his fantasies.”“You mean the boy, that story about the boy.”

“Yes, exactly, he swears that his account of that incident is the truth. He won’t back down from it.”“None of this makes any sense. That boy says it never happened. Damn it, this is all so confusing and hurtful. I can’t even believe that I’m talking about my own husband. After all these years of marriage I had no idea about any of this.”

“Well Ray has obviously been keeping his desires a secret for quite some time. As a matter of fact I don’t even know if he has admitted them to himself until now. He’s been in deep denial.”

“I guess I can understand that doctor. But it just doesn’t make sense that he would fabricate something like this and then swear that it’s true.”“I’m right there with you. That’s why I think he’s delusional. I just can’t ascertain why.”

“My heart wanted so badly to see and visit my husband. But I was still so troubled. I couldn’t deal with seeing him in his condition while hiding such an important secret from him. So I went to the one place I could always go in times of trouble. And I spoke to the one man I could trust with any burden.”

“Sarah Ruth. It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s always good to see you Pastor Williams.”

“What can I do for you today?”

“I don’t know where to start.”“Is it about Ray?”

“I guess it all began with him. Pastor you know how ashamed I am of him and what he did.”“Sarah Ruth, how many times do I have to tell you that Ray is responsible for his own behavior?”“I know, but you just can’t know how embarrassed I am about what he did. He didn’t just sin against me and our marriage. He sinned against this church.”

“I can’t argue with you there. What Ray did was pretty screwed up. But it was his sin. You’re not responsible for what he did.”

“I know that in my head. But I know that people who go to this church do blame me. I’ve heard them whisper, saying things like if I was a good wife this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Pardon my French Sarah Ruth, and I pray that God forgives me for saying this, but you know that ain’t nothing but bull. The truth is your husband’s got some issues.”

“I know, I know. But I can’t seem to get away from the shame. It’s all around me.”

“Sarah you know you’ve got to take it to the father.”

“I know. There’s no way I can carry this by myself.”

“Sarah you’ve got to do it for yourself and for Ray. I’ve been seeking the Lord for him since this whole mess started. And frankly I’m more scared for your husband every day.”

“What do you mean?”

“To put it bluntly I think the devil is on his trail. You know I say that when anybody that calls themselves a member of this church slips into sin.”

“Yes and Ray was a youth pastor.”

“Maybe that’s why he was targeted.”

“What are you trying to tell me Pastor?”“I’m not sure myself. You know I’ve been a minister for over 25 years now. But I’ve never felt anything like this.”“Like what?”

“Sarah Ruth I think your husband is being oppressed by some kind of dark spirit.”

“You mean a demon?”

“I don’t use that word lightly, but yes I think a demon is oppressing your husband.”

“Why does this have to happen now? I can’t handle all of this at once.”

“Sarah Ruth I know your testimony. God has brought you through worse than this.”“You don’t understand Pastor. This isn’t just about Ray and me. It’s not about us anymore. I’m pregnant.”

Indeed it wasn’t about my marriage and my personal problems anymore. After the angel’s visit I realized that now there was a comic, spiritual battle beginning and my child was at the center of it.

But I had no idea that darkness was watching me at that very moment.

This darkness could not only see me, but it could see my baby…

“And even this demon with foreknowledge was surprised at what he saw in my baby’s future.”

To be continued…