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Topic Sentences and Showing and Telling

Point of View

Which one of the three points of view should you avoid in this course? Explain.

First person (using “I”) Second person (addressing reader

as “you”) Third person (using “he/she/they”)

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Answer: Second person Second person point of view is great

for sales brochures and “how-to” pamphlets, but in essays, when writers use it, they often make assumptions about their readers.

Example: When you are pregnant and in high school, it’s scary.

What is the writer really trying to say?

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Making an Outline

What is an outline and how do I make one?

How is an outline different from an idea map?

How do I turn my cluster map into an outline?

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Idea Map vs. Outline

How is an outline different from the idea map you completed in the Phase 1 IP?

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Idea Map vs. Outline

Idea Map Several ideas Disorganized Everything has

equal weight No sequence

Outline More detail Sequence of ideas Add/subtract

subtopics Continue to plan

Phase 5 IP (essay)

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Example

Let’s look at an example.

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Body Paragraphs

5-7 Sentences:1. Topic Sentence 2. Supporting Details and Examples3. Concluding Sentence (with transition

to next paragraph)

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1. Topic Sentence

topic + controlling idea = topic sentence

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Examples: topic sentence?

Parenting has forced me to rethink my spiritual beliefs.

Next, I will discuss the location of my garden.

Dogs are superior to cats as pets because of their loyalty.

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1. Parenting has forced me to rethink my spiritual beliefs.

Topic: Parenting Controlling idea: forced me to rethink

spiritual beliefs

2. Next, I will discuss the location of my garden.

Topic: location of garden Controlling idea: none

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2. Supporting Details

Past experiences Describe something using sensory

language Tell a story (one time . . .) Use past and present to make meaning

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Toolbox Technique: Showing and Telling in Body Paragraphs Remember in kindergarten when we

had “show and tell”? My son gets excited every time he gets the purple pillow case at school, because it means that he gets to bring a favorite object, show it to his classmates, and talk about it.

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Telling

Draws conclusions about event/experience Tells “what happens” Topic sentence (telling) = topic +

controlling idea. “My roommate is a slob” tells. It’s a

conclusion drawn by the writer that captures “what happens” often, but it doesn’t contain any details that show the reader why the roommate is a slob (what happened).

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Showing

Specific, sensory details; never cliché

One time/what happened Take the reader with you/paint a

picture Support/evidence to prove/illustrate

the “telling” portion

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Practice The cuts I’ve suffered while cooking were

often particularly unexpected.

This sentence tells. It could be a topic sentence because it contains a topic (cuts while cooking) and a controlling idea (are particularly unexpected).

The writer needs to “show” the reader how these cuts are particularly unexpected, with evidence. The writer can share one or two specific experiences about what happened in order to show what happens (unexpected cuts while cooking.)

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Fresh Perspective

Reader is curious about ?

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Reader is Curious About . . . What was she/he cooking? What part of the body was cut? Describe the feeling. What happened next? What are they unexpected?

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Sensory Details/Imagery

Appeals to the senses: Describe smell, taste, touch, sight, and sound, as appropriate to the topic.

Do not include every sense as a “check list.”

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Putting it together The cuts I’ve suffered while cooking were often

particularly unexpected. The other night, I was cutting onions for potato soup and I lost focus. I jumped when the knife hit my forefinger and slid through my flesh, as easily as it cut the onion. The initial contact was electrical, like touching the edge of a light bulb while groping for the switch or clenching my jaw after realizing that my tooth is not completely numbed up under an eager drill. I pulled my finger back and squeezed it, hoping to stop the blood but knowing it was there, waiting to emerge. The burn set in seconds later, then the dull throbbing pulse that kept my mind focused on the wound for the rest of the night. The next day, the loose flap of skin reminded me to be cautious next time. But I forget, and two days later, while peeling zucchini, I recoil as the vegetable peeler slices off a delicate piece of knuckle skin.

Paragraph Analysis

Telling (what happens often): The cuts I suffer while cooking are often particularly unexpected.

Showing: specific, sensory details about one time I cut myself

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Practice

On a piece of paper or in a Word document, add the “showing” details to one of the following:

Remember to tell “what happened” to prove “what happens.”

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More Practice: Choose one

On a piece of paper or in a Word document, add the “showing” details to one of the following:

1. My roommate is a slob.2. My neighbor’s dog is obnoxious.3. My husband is obsessive-compulsive.4. My latest vacation resulted in disaster.Think about the reader’s expectations. Avoid cliché.

Include sensory details.

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Telling without Showing

Without “showing” details, the paper is boring and lacks evidence.

For many, telling is the easy part because we are a society of “summarizers.”

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Showing without Telling

Have you ever had a friend who told story after story, to which you replied, “Okay, so what’s the point?”

That friend was leaving out the telling portion– the purpose of the story, the lesson learned, the controlling idea.

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The Ultimate Telling

The purpose for your essay is the “telling” portion of this assignment. So, if I decide to explore parenting and reach the conclusion that parenting is the ultimate lesson in humility, that is the purpose for my essay and also the “what happens.” Throughout my essay, I will show the reader that my conclusion is true, at least in my experience, based on what happened to me (experiential learning!).

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Showing and Telling in Writing The beauty of this technique is that

you can use it for any writing occasion. In a research essay, the telling is your thesis and the showing is the evidence from your outside sources. In an evaluation of an employee, the score/grade is the telling and the observations of performance are the showing details.

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Show and Tell

Observe Conclude What happened What

happens Experience Reflect

Applying today’s technique: body paragraphs When you write your body

paragraphs, you will want to show and tell in each paragraph

Topic sentence: tells Details: show

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