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INDEX2

ODD NEWS

GRADUATION

NATION & WORLD

SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT

COVER STORY 1012

4

8

5

9

Memorial day tributeTrending twitter zombie

5 on 5

Schedule of commencement ceremonies

Men in Black III Review

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COVER STORY

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4 ODD NEWS

A seemingly undead Miami, Fla. icon is now trending throughout the Twittersphere.

Police shot and killed a naked man who was eating the face of another allegedly homeless man on MacArthur Causeway Saturday afternoon, outside of the Miami Herald building.

The Herald’s surveillance cameras captured police fi ring multiple rounds at 31-year-old Eugene Rudy, who police say might have been high on LSD, bath salts or some other drug, which they say could have caused “excited delirium.”

Offi cers said Rudy growled at police and continued chewing on pieces of the man’s fl esh even after an initial round penetrated him.

That’s when police shot at Rudy several more times and killed him. More than 80 percent of the victim’s face was eaten off, police said, and he is now being treated at Jackson Memorial Hospital.

While the Miami-Dade medical examiner said Rudy has most certainly expired, he seems to have risen from the dead and is now terrorizing Twitter followers.

But a more likely scenario is someone has created a Twitter account in his memory — as @TheMiamiZombie. The Miami Zombie — from Biscayne

Boulevard, Miami, Fla. — has been tweeting about Earvin “Magic” Johnson’s AIDS campaign when not tweeting at followers about his desire to eat their brains.

“ . . . s t i l l . . . t o o. . . m a ny. . . m a g i c . . .johnson...aids...ads...on...biscayne...his...smile...makes...my...undead...brain...hurt,” @TheMiamiZombie tweeted. “ . . . . .hmmmmmm... .polish. . .meat. . .tough...and...salty...must....eat...nom nom nom.”

Well University of Cincinnati students, faculty and staff; we’re fi nally fi nished, and we’re so sorry.

Odd news has come to an end — most likely for the better and forever.

For the past eight months, this news team has spent its Tuesday evenings dumbing itself down and trying to make you laugh.

Did we succeed?We’d like to think so, but we’ve

undoubtedly outraged or offended most of you — or you just skimmed over us as you fl ipped to the “Seam Scene” page.

Whatever. It really doesn’t matter, but the News Desk would like to thank all of you for playing along.

From our coverage of cannibalism, feces fl inging, sex-crazed mistresses, cross-dressing con artists and even the occasional actual news story, we’ve

tried to balance our hard news on Mondays and Thursdays with colorful stories of the scaley underbelly of humanity on Wednesdays.

Obviously, we don’t take the work on this page quite as seriously as we do the stories in our other issues.

And, frankly, we’ve tried to avoid taking credit for these awkward stories.

Needless to say, this skill will not be appearing on either of our resumes.

It was, however, an opportunity for us to get new writers acquainted with the art of sensationalizing the comical or ironic pain of others.

We would like to thank the UC administration for not coming to The News Record offi ce in the basement of Swift Hall and kicking us all out of school.

To the rest of you, again, we apologize, and may God have mercy on your souls.

CRIM

E BL

OTT

ER

NATION&WORLD 5

WASHINGTON — Paying tribute to dead soldiers and their families, President Obama said Monday that the nation had reached a “milestone” of relative peace, noting the end of the Iraq war and plans to end America’s role in the Afghan war.

“After a decade under a dark cloud of war we can see the light of a new day on the horizon,” Obama told a crowd of military families gathered at Arlington National Cemetery to commemorate Memorial Day.

Obama made his remarks after laying a wreath laden with red and white roses at the Tomb of the Unknowns, a presidential tradition each Memorial Day.

Under a bright, cloudless sky, the president was joined by first lady Michelle Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and his wife, Jill Biden, at the marble sarcophagus on a hill overlooking Washington.

Obama was slated for a full day of Memorial Day ceremony. From the cemetery, he was headed to the Vietnam War Memorial for a commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the beginning of that war.

In his remarks, the president connected that conflict to the current one, honoring soldiers who stepped

forward to serve “from the jungles of Vietnam to the mountains of Afghanistan.”

“They fought for a home they would never return to. They fought for buddies they would never forget,” Obama said. “They rest here side by side, row by row because each of them loved this country and what it stands for more than life itself.”

But the president focused his tribute on the fallen in the Iraq War, a conflict he opposed as he ran for office and declared ended in December. He named four men killed on the first day of the invasion — Maj. Jay Thomas Aubin, Staff Sgt. Kendall Waters-bey, Cpl. Brian M. Kennedy and Capt. Ryan A. Beaupre — and also noted Army Spec. David Hickman, the last U.S. soldier to die before the withdrawal.

The president and NATO allies last week ratified plans to withdraw most U.S. forces from Afghanistan by the end of the 2014, although the details and the pace of the withdrawal are unclear.

Still, he has been eager to emphasize the near completion of that unpopular conflict. His message on Monday underscored that message and even carried a hint of the antiwar critique of his last presidential bid.

“As commander in chief, I can tell you that sending our troops into harm’s way is the most wrenching

decision that I have to make. I can promise you I will never do so unless it’s absolutely necessary,” Obama said. “And that when we do we must give our troops a clear mission and the full support of a grateful nation.”

NAIROBI, Kenya — A blast that blew the roof off a downtown building and hurled shards of glass and burned clothing into the streets on Monday apparently was the strongest retaliation yet by al-Qaida-linked

forces in Somalia for Kenya’s military foray into that country.

The blast injured 28 people, but 21 of those had already been released from the hospital by evening. There were no deaths reported; the blast was not apparently a suicide bombing.

Kenya’s prime minister suggested the responsibility lay with Somalia’s Islamist rebels, known as al-Shabab, which formally joined al-Qaida earlier this year. Kenya declared war on Shabab last year and sent troops across the border to fight the militia group.

“Our enemies are going to try to continue every effort to try to scare us,” Prime Minister Raila Odinga said to a crowd of onlookers at the bomb site. “We will not be scared. This is a heinous act. ... Kenya will not surrender to terrorists.”

The blast in one of Kenya’s busiest business streets was jarring, but the blast’s physical damage was more modest than the smoke billowing over the city’s skyline at first seemed to indicate.

The target of the blast was a one-story building squeezed in between two towering office buildings where rows of stalls offered footwear and secondhand clothing.

“There was a very big blast, then so much smoke and dust that you couldn’t see in front of you,” said Irene Wanja, who was inside selling clothes at the time of the explosion.

At first officials suggested that the blast was the result of an electrical fault, but Kenya’s national power company struck down that claim, saying its inspection had found that electrical circuits were not to blame.

A doctor at the Kenyatta National Hospital, where the wounded were taken, said the arriving patients had shrapnel wounds. The doctor asked not to be identified because the hospital was refusing to release details of the injuries.

The explosion blew a man-size hole through one side of the building and tore up the building’s corrugated metal roof. Besides the one hole, the exterior of the building appeared undamaged. The subsequent fire, however, destroyed the building’s contents.

SPORTS 8

THIS WEEK IN

SPORTSWEDNES- THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY

After another jam-packed and exciting year, the University of Cincinnati sports season has fi nally come to an end. Don’t fret — there is certainly no shortage of sporting action to take in this week, as the

Cincinnati Reds look to increase their lead in the NL Central agaisnt the Houston Astros, the NHL Stanley Cup fi nals kick o� and the NBA playo� s continue with the conference fi nals.

MLB,Cincinnati vs. Pittsburgh@ 7:05 p.m. on FSN.

NHL Stanley Cup Finals,Los Angeles at New Jersey@ 8 p.m. on NBC.

NHL,Stanley Cup Finals,Los Angeles at New Jersey@ 8 p.m. on NBC.

NBA Eastern Conference Finals,Boston at Miami@ 8:30 p.m. on ESPN.

NBA Eastern Conference Finals,Miami at Boston@ 8:30 p.m. on ESPN.

NBA WesternConference Finals,San Antonio at Oklahoma City@ 9 p.m. on TNT.

NBA WesternConference Finals,San Antonio at Oklahoma City@ 9 p.m. on TNT.

NBA Eastern Conference Finals,Miami at Boston@ 8:30 p.m. on ESPN.

MLB,Cincinnati atHouston@ 8:05 p.m. on FSN.

MLB,Cincinnati atHouston@ 7:15 p.m. on FSN.

MLB,Cincinnati atHouston@ 2:05 p.m. on FSN.

ENTERTAINMENT 9

The Men in Black are at it again. Fifteen years after Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) recruited Agent J (Will Smith), the duo is still working to protect Earth from alien forces.

The partners haven’t changed a bit from the first “Men in Black.” Agent K remains deadly serious, while Agent J continues his brash and arrogant ways.

J attempts to make his partner open up to him, but his efforts are cut short after one of K’s old enemies returns.

When Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) escapes from prison on the moon, he sets off on a quest for revenge. Boris travels back in time to July 1969 to kill the person responsible for imprisoning him — K.

Earth’s entire timeline is altered overnight by K’s death. No one in the agency is aware of K ever existing — no one except for J of course.

There are a couple repulsive scenes in “Men in Black III,” but they are offset by consistent comic relief.

The film does the impossible by making the audience laugh throughout the entire movie.

“Men in Black III” takes the overused concept of time travel and applies it in a way that manages to keep audiences entertained.

With a trip to the ’60s in the cards, director Barry Sonnenfeld took extra care in accurately representing the decade, focusing on everything from the clothes to the music — he even included one hilarious scene featuring the enigmatic artist Andy Warhol (Bill Hader).

Josh Brolin, who starred in “No Country for Old Men” alongside Jones, does an excellent job of portraying a young Agent K, while Smith and Jones have no problem getting back into the groove of their previous roles.

Besides the main trio, there are a slew of minor characters — like Griffin (Michael Stuhlbarg), an alien who helps track down Boris and Agent O (Emma Thompson), who serves as the new leader of the agency and Agent K’s former lover interest — who prove to be invaluable to the film’s success.

Due to tremendous acting, costumes, directing and editing, “Men in Black III” is sure to be one of the summer’s best films.

Spoiler alert: The scariest part of “Chernobyl Diaries” is knowing you willingly spent $10 to hear the girl sitting behind you scream, “Oh my god, Jesse McCartney is in this?”

A slasher movie missing its slashes, “Chernobyl Diaries” is an ill-paced mess that reveals its secret far too early — but continues to build up to it anyway with nonsensical clues that wouldn’t pass the muster on “Blue’s Clues.” It also relies on cheap scares that a large white sheet and boisterous BOO could outdo.

The moral of this cliched story is tourists are stupid, nuclear energy is scary, former Soviets always carry guns and carnivorous baddies only eat dazzling 20-year-olds.

And that’s pretty much all you find out about the flesh-eating mob — save the information overload of the last two minutes — thanks to shaky hands from both the cameraman and actors holding the feeble light sources.

The limited visibility actually works in the movie’s favor because the less you can see, the less you realize nothing in the film makes any sense.

Oren Peli (of “Paranormal Activity” fame) produces, bringing his stale style of found-footage filmmaking to the forefront.

In this 90-minute hollow shell of a horror movie, lovable Chris (Jesse McCartney) visits his knucklehead brother Paul (Jonathan Sadowski) in Europe, where he plans to propose to beautiful girlfriend Natalie (Olivia Taylor Dudley) while her best friend Amanda (Devin Kelley) bears witness.

When Paul stumbles across Uri (Dimitri Diatchenko), a former special-ops agent who currently works as an “extreme” tour guide, the plan suddenly changes.

The group now plans to join fellow tourists Zoe and Michael (Ingrid Bolso Berdal and Nathan Philips) in a tour of Pripyat, the city that housed Chernobyl workers before the infamous nuclear meltdown.

Some critics have argued the film exploits a terrible event that, to this day, affects the world’s view of nuclear energy and its possibilities.

If the movie says anything about humanity, it’s that many horror directors haven’t evolved beyond using sudden loud noises after a well-timed “Shhhh ... what was that?” to excite their audiences.

Congratulations “Chernobyl Diaries,” you killed two standards with one stone.

ENTERTAINMENT10

Thousands of people braved the oppressive Memorial Day heat to enjoy tasty entrées and entertainment at Taste of Cincinnati — the city’s showcase of local music and food.

This year’s 34th annual festival tested patrons with temperatures consistently in the 90s. While the heat was a consistent complaint among attendees, it didn’t extinguish the fervor from local businesses to share their culinary delights.

“No matter what, there are always bright moments at the festival,” said Sue Traut, co-owner of Du Jours, a breakfast and catering restaurant, who has been setting up shop at Taste of Cincinnati for 15 years. “It’s incomparable to any other three days of the year for our business.”

At the event, 40 area restaurants served approximately 200 dishes — all for $5 or less. “I had no idea what to expect, but it was really cool how all the vendors had their best foods for people to enjoy in one location,” said Jackie Schnicke, a fourth-year sports administration student at the University of Cincinnati.

This year the festival added eight new dining options, including food trucks like Pizza Bomba, Taco Azul and Queen City Cookies. The opportunity to try out new things proved important for festivalgoers.

“Eating Thai food for the first time, listening to great music and hanging out with a large diversity of people made for one fun weekend at the Taste of Cincinnati,” said Daniel Wulker, a recent graduate of Christian Brothers University in Memphis, Tenn.

The festival drew rave reviews for its wide range of food, which included dishes from German wurst to gourmet macaroni and cheese.

“It was successful. We are hearing a lot of positive comments that people really enjoyed the new additions to the festival,” said Chris Kemper, Director of Public Relations at Cincinnati USA Regional Chamber.

Not only is the Taste of Cincinnati the nation’s longest-running culinary arts festival, but it’s a showcase for local musical talent as well.

Taste of Cincinnati brought up-and-coming

bands like The Minor Leagues, The Tillers, 500 Miles to Memphis and Buffalo Killers.

“The Taste is a destination in and of itself,” Kemper said.

Downtown on Fifth Street, the festival stretched from Race Street all the way to Broadway Street, filling the city with the sounds of blues, folk and rock music.

The Taste of Cincinnati not only served as an opportunity to try some of the city’s vast food market and listen to local bands, but also marks the region’s annual summer kickoff.

5 carpeted bedrooms, 2 baths, newly remodeled, short distance to campus, on UC bus route, new carpet, washer and dryer, small deck in back, pets allowed. $1,875 per month. 513-618-3688. Penklor.com. Tenants, student rentals

4 carpeted bedrooms, 2 baths, new kitchen appliances, nice back deck, UC bus stops right around the corner, $1,575 per month. 513-618-3688. Penklor.com. Tenants, studentrentals.

5 carpeted bedrooms, 2 full bath, newly renovated, new kitchen appliances off street parking. $1,875 per month. Call Tony 513-618-3688. Penklor.com. Tenants, studentrentals.

1 bedroom $375. Call 513-382-9000.

Full Time Positions Immediately AvailableImproveit! A well known Marketing and Sales based organization is hiring. Work 40 hours per week Monday through Friday earn $10.00 per hour PLUS, do a great job andearn bonuses which can exceed of $600.00 per WEEK plus Benefits. Contact Dennis at 513-222-2194.

HYDE PARK WINE & SPIRITS. Part time & full time help wanted, 15-20 hours per week. Flexible schedule. Apply in person at 2719 Madison Rd. Cincinnati, OH 45209.

NOW HIRING MARKETING REPS/APPOINTMENT SETTERS. NEAT, CLEAN, MOTIVATED, WITH DEPENDABLE TRANSPORTATION. P/T AFTERNOON & EVENINGS. PAID TRAINING + BONUS. 513-351-7770.

Needed right now. Campus ambassadors and manager, great products, pay, perks, fun and benefits! Contact Michael at 602-759-9153, email holdemtex55@hotmail.com today!

Cleaning, painting $8.00-$9.00. Call 513-221-5555.

SIX-BEDROOM, THREE-BATH, THREE-STORY HOUSE. Two blocks to campus. Just finished being COMPLETELY REMODELLED!! Eat-in kitchen with dishwasher, free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, free parking, cats welcome free, available beginning August, $2095.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “gray5393@mailstation.com” No text messages, please.

SPECTACULAR SEVEN-BEDROOM, FOUR-BATH, THREE-STORY. Remodeled house, two blocks to campus, 16’x20’ hardwood living room with fireplace. 16’x24’ eat-in kitchen with dishwasher. BONUS COMPUTER ROOM. Free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, two-car garage +additional free parking, cats welcome free. Available beginning August. $2095.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “gray5393@mailstation.com” No text messages, please.

One, two, three, four bedrooms and studios. Walk to UC. FREE UTILITIES! Hardwood, laundry, dishwasher, parking. $430-$685$870 Deposit special with approval. Call 513-651-2339

FOUR-BEDROOM, THREE-BATHHOUSE. Three blocks to campus. Beautiful new eat-in kitchen with dishwasher. Restored hardwood floors, free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, PRIVATE DECK! Free parking, cats welcome free, available beginning August. $1495.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “gray5393@mailstation.com” No text messages, please.

FIVE-BEDROOM, THREE-BATH, THREE-STORY HOUSE. Three blocks to campus. Remodeled eat-in kitchen with dishwasher. Hardwood floors. Free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, free parking, cats welcome free. Available beginning August. $1695.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “gray5393@mailstation.com” No text messages, please.

Completely renovated 4 Bedroom Apartment. Hardwood floors. At UC shuttle bus stop. Very large bedrooms with ceiling fans. Two refrigerators. Access to a deck. Free Cable, Internet, and Water. Call 513-325-9824 for more information.

Beautiful 3 bedroom apartment available for August rental. Located on Graham Street right across from Bellevue Park. 513-378-7919 or virtual tour at www.qcr4rent.com.

University Investments apartments and houses for rent. 1 through 6bedrooms. 513-403-2678.

For Rent 1,2,3, and 5 bedroom apartments available. Visit merlinproperties.net or contact 513-678-6783 (Tony).

1 and 3 bedrooms available. Visit www.cdproperties.org

3 carpeted bedrooms, 2 baths, newly renovated. Updated kitchen with new appliances. Off street parking, on site washer and dryer, pets allowed. $1,125 per month. 513-618-3688. Penklor.com. Tenants, student rentals.

Looking for an apartment? www.ucapartments.com

Now available! 1, 2, and 3 bedroom apartments. Walk to UC. Newly renovated. www.ucapartments.com 513-300-0585.

One and two bedroom available August 14th. Go to uc4rent.com for a virtual tour. Call 621-7032

5 Bedroom House for Rent. Great Location on quiet street; 2 Blocks from Campus. Home Security System, New windows, Doors, Furnace, and Deck. Many custom built-ins. 2547 Vestry Ave (one block behind Deaconess Hospital) Available for August 1st school year.Always rents quick. 508-4001, 309-3032

Now leasing for August. www.ucapartments.com.

3 bedroom, 2 full bathrooms, balcony, quiet cul-de-sac available August 1. $1385/month. 513-382-7350.

CLASSIFIEDS 11

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Choose a variety of categories to sell everything/anything. Students may not use UC rates for non-UC, for profit businesses. Valid ID card required for discount.

CLASSIFIEDS POLICY1 All ads must be prepaid.2 Out-of-town advertisers must send check with copy.3 NIU’s must be signed and filled out before acceptance of ads.4 All ad changes are due two days prior to publication.5 No refunds unless a mistake by The News Record’s staff occurs in the advertisement. Refunds are not granted for ads placed, then cancelled. Adjustments are limited to the portion of the ad which is incorrect. Under no circumstances will an adjustment be issued greater than the cost of the ad.

6 To receive student discount, current verification must be shown.7 Students or student groups may not use display or classified discounts for non-university, for profit businesses.8 Advertisers should check their ads the first day of printing. The News Record is not responsible for more than one incorrect insertion.9 The News Record reserves the right to reject any ads at its discretion, with or without notification to the advertiser.10 These policies are not negotiable.

DEADLINESDeadline for classified ads is 4 p.m., two days prior to

publication.Display ad deadline is 4 p.m., three days prior to publication.

Deadline for Monday issues is 4 p.m. Thursday for display ads.

For classified and display advertising information, please

call 513-556-5900.

EQUAL HOUSINGOPPORTUNITY

All apartment rental/sublet advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, which makes it illegal

to advertise any preference, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion,

sex, national origin, handicap or familial status, or an intention to make any such preference,

limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any

advertising for apartment rentals or sublets which is in violation of the law.

Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are

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12 GRADUATION• Doors open 90 minutes before the ceremony begins.

• Each ceremony will last about 2.5 hours.

• Flowers will be available before and after each ceremony in the upper concourse.

• Seating is general admission.

• Wrapped gifts, coolers and large bags will not be permitted in Shoemaker Center.

• Free parking is available in all Main Campus parking garages.

Fast Facts

College of Education, Criminal Justice and Human Services (CECH)

College of Engineering & Applied Science (CEAS)

UC Blue Ash

Friday, June 82 p.m. ceremony

College of Design, Architecture, Art and Planning (DAAP)

James L. Winkle College of PharmacyMcMicken College of Arts & Sciences

(A&S)UC Clermont

Saturday, June 92 p.m. ceremony

Allied Health SciencesCarl H. Linder College of Business

College-Conservatory of Music (CCM)College of MedicineCollege of Nursing

Saturday, June 99 a.m. ceremony

Immediately following each of the commencement ceremonies, the UC Alumni Association will

host a reception for all graduates and guests at the Russell C.

Myers Alumni Center.

After the ceremony ...