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Article challenging women to redefine beauty.
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THINTHICK OR
PHOTO BY: BECKI KANIGAN
WRITTEN BY: JAMILA MEESARAPU
Many mornings I look in the mirror
and smile, pleased at the reflection. I walk
out the door with confidence in each stride.
I’m beautiful, I think to myself. I look good.
Then I see her. The girl who got on the
elevator with me is at least twenty pounds
lighter; I can tell her legs are more toned,
and I suddenly feel like a fat slob.
What just happened? How can I go
from, damn, I’m feeling pretty hot, to, shit, I
feel like a whale?
I know I’m not fat. In fact, I’m within
the “healthy” weight range for my height. I
have coveted curves. When I wear a fitted
pair of jeans, a tank top and heels, people
notice. My boyfriend thinks my body is
that of a goddess, and doesn’t hold back
the daily compliments.
All this said, my body image soars and
dives constantly throughout a given day.
I compare myself to every woman I see.
Is she more attractive, skinnier, better
dressed, getting more attention? And that’s
just the real life women. I feel hopeless
when I see Kim Kardashian’s perfect butt
on a magazine spread, or Cameron Diaz’s
mile-long legs that I will never have.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I get hit on almost daily, (or at least
gawked at like a slab of juicy ribs). Random
people at grocery stores tell me I’m pretty.
And, again, there’s my boyfriend who
thinks I’m a flawless angel that magically
floated into his life. With all this positive
reinforcement, how can a girl be so
yielding?
They say your twenties are spent in
self-discovery. Well, I have two more years
before I embark on my thirties, the decade
when you are supposed to be more settled
and confident. I sure hope so.
As I write this, I don’t think the quick
cure I was hoping for will come. I’m still
going to get on elevators with women I feel
are more attractive than I am. However,
instead of resenting the stranger, I’m going
to have to learn that she (or any woman) is
not a standard that I must measure myself
against.
Now I dip deeper into despair, feeling
selfish, ungrateful and completely self-
absorbed. There are women with serious
health issues, skin disorders, severe weight
challenges and mental anxieties. Here I
am, healthy and mostly in my right mind,
distressed about sheer vanity.
My bible upbringing reminds me
of verses like: you are fearfully and
wonderfully made, you are made in the
image of God, and In Christ, you are a
new creation. In direct contrast, society’s
beauty has become a size, a shape, a skin
color, and an airbrushed spokeswoman
for an expensive brand. Beauty is now an
industry of labels, price tags, and glossy
models on glossy magazines. Beauty has
become something women are forever
chasing, vainly throwing money at it
hoping it will stick.
I don’t think the day will come when
the fashion industry as a whole will
embrace the example set by Dove’s Real
Beauty Campaign. We probably won’t see
size 8 models on the covers of Vogue and
Glamour with regularity. And we won’t halt
airbrushing, out of fear of exposing traces
of cellulite, wrinkles or folds.
So, the solution is not to uproot the
billion-dollar empire that plasters ideals
of women in our faces with relentless
advertising, but rather to change our
grossly skewed definition of beauty. Why
not instead, attach these values to beauty?
Confidence is beautiful. Intelligence
is beautiful. Compassion is beautiful.
Gentility is beautiful. Strength is beautiful.
Joy is beautiful. You are beautiful.
Is a kind girl, with a genuine smile,
a unique style and a brilliant mind
considered beautiful? Are we celebrating
the heart warmers, the creatives, the soul
stirrers, the thinkers, the business women,
the dreamers, the care takers, and the
lovers?
Instead of ripping myself apart every
time I flip through the pages of a fashion
spread, why don’t I make a deliberate
attempt to discover and celebrate real
beauty?
As an image consultant, I understand
the importance of looking your best. and
am in no way condoning an unhealthy,
sloppy lifestyle. Rather I’m challenging
myself, and others to disassociate with
the artificial definition of beauty we have
come to accept. This is no light challenge.
It will take deliberate redefinition. It will
take purposeful celebration of a woman’s
character over a woman’s waistline. It will
take generational unraveling of a mindset
tightly wound. But it must be done. Thick
or thin, you are beautiful.