The Wizard's Apprentice

8/3/2019 The Wizard's Apprentice

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"'First of all,' said Mitsima, taking a lump of the wetted clay between his hands, 'we make

a little moon.'"--Aldous Huxley

The Wizards Apprentice

1

The air outside was still cool from winter, the snow was all gone for good, trees and

things were starting to get green buds, Bush was the president after a very tiresome battle

with some other gray haired guy named Kerry, and my math teacher Mrs. Scouressel was

pure evil.

It wasnt enough that I didnt get fractions, just as we were learning to turn them into

decimalsdecimals were easier than fractions, cause decimals were just like money

but she had to give out homeworkevery day. Not even my Language Arts teacher, Mr.Wagner, gave out homework over the weekends, and all my classmates agreed he was the

worst of all the fifth grade teachers. But kids have strange ways of judgment. Not tomention Mrs. Scouressel gave you candy if you got a hundred on a test, but it was just a

mini Snickers or Three Musketeers. Come on, lady, you could at least step up to a fun

size! It was math, after all!

My names Derrick. And it had to be DerrickJwhen the teachers called on me, because

there was another kid in my class named Derrick, but his middle name started with an M,

but I didnt know what it was. Mines Joseph, and thats what they call me nowadays;nope, no one calls me Derrick anymore, with or without a J, and Im gonna tell you why.

Im not good with math. You probably guessed. Its not that Im not smart enough,though that was the first assumption when you saw my C- average in that subject on my

report card back then. It just wasnt interesting. I didntand still dontreally care

what happened when you times a three digit number by a two digit number, or what itlooked like when you graph a number or whatever it is. And youve already heard my

spiel about fractions and decimals, or at least enough of it. No, Im someone who likes

stories.

It didnt matter where it came from. Language Arts (what my mom called English for

some reason) was the conventional place to get a good tale. But what a lot of my fellow

fifth graders overlooked is Social Studies, and for that one I could tell why my momcalled it History.

I could open up our textbook anywhere I wanted and just start going. Napoleon chasingafter the Russians, getting himself caught right between them and the British; Martin

Luther King, preaching peace in a time that seemed to not exist to a child like me;

Adolph Hitler causing all kinds of trouble for the rest of the world, enough to have a

World War in his honor. But what really would catch my eye were the pictures.


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I had heard that phrase that a picture is worth a thousand words. At the time I didnt

really pay much attention to it, because I was too busy trying to read the stories that werehidden in the pictures in my textbooks. Ironic, huh? But I would see the portraits of

Napoleon, seizing the rest of the French government and making himself the top dog, the

photographs of tie-dyed hippies holding signs of protest to concepts I didnt think neededany explanation, and the fiery mushroom shaped cloud when we dropped the Atomic

Bomb on Japan. Japan, where Dragonball Z and Pokemon came from. They had a bomb

the size of Alaska (which I had been quite surprised to discover was bigger than threeTexases) detonated right on their city. Kaboom!

It was one day while flipping through my Social Studies book, looking for a good picture

that I hadnt seen in awhile, that Mrs. Scouressel called on me. I wasnt paying a lick ofattention, and so started the chain reaction.

Derrick? she called. She was at the blackboard, next to her desk. Oh, sorry, Derrick

J? Can you tell us the answer to number seventeen?

Ah ha! Perfect! Neil Armstrong, standing tall in his white spacesuit next to The RedWhite and Blue, One Nation Indivisible, so on and so forth. The first man on the moon.

The moon!

Derrick? Are you with us?

I scanned over the caption at the bottom of the picture, but it was boring like all the other

captions on all the other pictures; something about America beating the Soviet Union,something that took all the romantic fantastic out of it. I thought of being in that suit,

looking up at a sky of blackness and the big blue earth way far away from where you

normally felt it. I imagined ol Neil getting a bit lightheaded looking at it, feeling thatfeeling of wondrous displacement.

A couple of my classmates where looking my way and giggling, including Derrick M,who was a pure brainer in math. I still didnt notice.

Derrick! Hey, come out of La-La Land.

For some reason that got my attention. I guess I never liked the sound of La-La Land.

It always seemed sacrilegious, somehow. Like you were taking the name of dreams in

vain. I looked up quickly, wondering what Id missed.

Derrick J, number 17, go. Mrs. Scouressel wasnt going to waste time by berating me

just yet.

I looked up at the board, my stomach suddenly on its way up to my throat and sweat

breaking out all over me like a squeezed sponge. The problem asked what 4/18ths was in


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decimal form. Wed been going over this topic for at least the past month. And here I

was, with my mind literally on the moon.

Uhm is it But is it what? What could I do? Make up some crazy number? I

wasnt exactly the class clown, so everyone would just give me a weird look.

I dont know, said Mrs. Scouressel. Youre supposed to tell me.

Oh, right, ha-ha, teacher, good one. If I was smooth and cool like a cartoon character,thats what I would have said, and wed have both had a good laugh and I could tell her I

had no clue and shed ask someone else. Course, thats not what happened; its not the

way things work. Never is in the real world. So instead I pulled a blank, practically

played tug-of-war with one, and stared openly at my teacher.

She then noticed my current reading selection. Derrick, why do you have your Social

Studies book out? She sighed as she said it as if she lived a really tough life. Tough

was trying not to let your heart bust out of your sweater and onto your desk. Tough washolding back tears of embarrassment.

I uh

Good story, huh?

Just go to the office, Mrs. Scouressel said. We dont have time for it.

Kaboom. Hiroshima was nothing. Nagasaki was a kids cap gun. And the moonsounded like a good place to be right now, oxygen or no oxygen.

A lot of kids would storm out of the room, angry at the world. Not Derrick J, no sir! Itimidly closed my Social Studies book and picked up my Math and Language Arts texts

while the room waited to be rid of my presence. The silence was deafening. Kids that go

to The Office were troublemakers, no questions. About thirty pairs of eyes drove needlesinto my backside as I opened the door and went out into the hall.

Some kids come here to learn, I heard her quip as I closed the door behind me. There

were some giggles, but mostly solemn silence. By the time I was halfway down the hallto The Office, I figured they all were probably diving into Mrs. Scouressels candy stash

and having a blast now, music and dancing and fun for all. I felt like the mud on the

bottom of a shoe.

2

It would have been a much less eventful day if Id been able to make it to the office, and

sit in those uncomfortable metal you-are-here-because-you-are-guilty chairs in their

lobby. But all the commotion from Math class made me have to pee, so I went into the

restroom first, still shaking badly.


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I put my books on the little alcove at the entrance to the restroom and went into one of

the stalls. The upright urinals always had made me feel uncomfortable, although that wasthe choice of most of my peers.

I was about to unbuckle my belt when I noticed an irregularity on the wall in front of me.If I had been in Middle School or High School I would have just dismissed it as a bit of

artful graffiti, but I was in the innocent age, whether I knew it or not. I examined it.

The stall toilets stood a few inches from the wall, connected by a clandestine array of

pipes. On the wall wasnt some bizarre extension of the toiletit was a little black

plastic button. The kind you saw on those quarter-operated arcade games at Wal-Mart to

make your character shoot or punch or kick. It was right there on the wall, right where itwasnt supposed to be. And I just stared at it, mesmerized, my bladder all but forgotten.

When you see a button, you push it. Especially if youre a little kid, and especially if said

button isnt where its supposed to be. You know its true. Grass grows, sun shines,Math teachers are all meanies, curiosity made the cat into a wizards apprentice, and

people push buttons.

I didnt hesitate for long once I realized that I was going to push the button. I reached out

and pressed square in the middle of it in one fluid motion.

The change that took place wasnt so much of an abrupt thrust or a gigantic lurch of the

space time continuum. It was more like when the elevator reaches its predetermined

floor, and that made the button all the more appropriate. All I could feel was a lightnessfor a second (as if I was walking on the moon) and then everything changed; all I could

see, feel, smell, sense around me melted and rearranged into something else.

I wasnt in the bathroom at school anymore. I wasnt even inside anymore. I appeared to

be surrounded by big, white rocks that formed almost a ceiling-less room around me. My

ears popped suddenly, letting me know that I was higher up now, on top of a hill. Ilooked around me, and took in the scent of freedom. What else could I call it? I wasnt

in school anymore, and boy would my mom get mad at me! What would Mrs. Scouressel

think now? Im not there, Im here, wherever I am. I looked above me, a grin starting to

spread on my face and my heart racing, but with joy now. The sky was a wonderful blueto match the wonderful white of the rocks and the glorious brown of the dirt and the

magnificent yellow-green of a little plant that was growing near my feet. All around me

was wonder, was awe, was brilliance.

I was breathing heavy as well, now, panting like a dog. And why not? I was excited! I

was somewhere in the mountains! I was

Lost.


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I saw a metal post sticking out of the ground nearby, with a little black button on it. That

was probably the way back. The only other options were that the button would take you

somewhere else completely new, or there was no way back and it was just there fordecoration. Or maybe it was an artifact, just a piece of broken equipment. Next to it was

a break in the rocks, and a path that led down from my current location. I moved that

way, at first slowly, but then running down the path, eager to see what came next.

I didnt really stop to smell the flowers, as they say. I kept going no matter what I saw

next. A scrubby and half-bare looking pine tree clinging to the rocks, a tiny black birdthat hopped about on the path, scattering when I came by, and most of all the pale shades

of white and gray from the rocks. After each little detail I registered, I was still keeping a

quick pace down the hill I had appeared upon. Flora and fauna and everything beyond, it

was amazing! The pine trees had a sweet aroma to them that blended with the raw earthyscent of the boulders and cliffs all around. It fed me the energy to keep going.

I came to a steep precipice where the trail curved. I finally stopped to look out across the

cliff side, and I could feel the breath sucked out of my lungs. Far off at the edge of mysight was the horizon, a thin indeterminate line that separated the gray wisps of clouds

that way from the golden-green fields of grain that stretched from here to there. Therewerent many trees, but here and there a boulder or a cluster of them jutted from the

ground into the sky. As I watched, a breeze blew from behind me, from over the knoll I

had just descended and over the fields of grain. Once the gust hit the stalks of grain, they

tilted with it, and suddenly turned a pleasant shade of purple which blended with the darkblue sky like pure magic. The purple color then lifted from the plants and into the air like

a cloud of bugs, and there it was taken away by the wind, to that faraway line, the

horizon.

I didnt know what the purple stuff was, I didnt even know where I was, but I knew that

I wanted to go and get some. I knew somehow that it would taste like cotton candy andwould melt away in my mouth once I had finally chased some of it down. Never mind

the stuff that was still probably in the plants. I knew that I needed to chase it down, to

follow it to the horizon.

I ran the rest of the way down from the hill, and thats where I met my first and only

Wizards.

3

I reached the very bottom of the hill and took a look around me. I seemed to besurrounded by stone; the fields began to my right, and to my left there stretched an

endless expanse of stony foothills, and farther that way rose mountains from those

foothills, and even farther than that I wouldnt have been surprised if even highermountains sprung from those mountains. But the mountains, I decided, would have to

wait for another day. Right then, I had fields to run through.


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I know, Joseph. And I know that you know. And you know that I know that you

know. He grinned. Henceforth, I declare that you shall be called Joseph, and that is

that.

Why?

Joseph, by helping me, youre actually helping yourself. Youll see in a bit.

I stared blankly at him, absolutely perplexed.

He went on. Now, Joseph. On this piece of paper I have written down a few things I

need from you. He flipped the paper over and showed me. Youll see that there are a

few things crossed out. Ive already found those on my own, but the rest of them Imleaving up to you.

Okay

Item the first: A pine cone.

Really? Thats it?

Thats it. But it has to be from a certain tree. On your way down here I imagine you

came across them? Odd looking trees, bare and gnarly on some sides

Oh, yeah! Ill get you one!

Alright, then! He seemed pleased beyond measure. I myself was rather excited. I

wondered what kind of concoctions we could brew up with a pine cone, of all things.

Hurry off, then. Ill begin preparing the rest of the ingredients.

I took off to the hill I had come from and scaled it quickly; my legs and lungs burned, but

I didnt take much notice. I found the scraggly looking pine tree with ease and beganhunting for a cone. I saw one, but it was still on the tree, too high above my head. As I

began to look for another, more accessible cone, I saw a dark flush of feathers as the little

black bird landed on the branch above me, gripping the cone in its talons.

I ignored it at first, frantically searching for a cone. I ran up the hill, to the clearing

where I had arrived, went back down, past the tree again, around another batch of

different-looking forbs emerging from cracks in the rock, and underneath a crevice whereI thought a cone could have bounced. But there were none; just that single pine cone, too

far above my reach. It was dark gray, and had bristly tips on its scales. I logged in my

mind what it looked like, and was about to go find another tree when I heard the birdmake a soft, raspy noise. Aaahhck.

I turned around to look at it, annoyed that I couldnt have that cone. I considered taking

my frustration out on the bird with one of the numerous stones lying around when I had


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an idea. I just had to knock the cone from its place, and that would be that. Climbing the

gnarled branches seemed too risky at this elevation.

I found a good sized stone and picked it up, aiming at the cone. The bird seemed to get

the picture and flew off, I figured, to another, safer pine tree. I chucked the rock, and the

first time I missed. I tried again with rock number two and hit the cone, but it still hungon. On the third try, I hefted the rock with all of my eleven year old strength, and bam!

The cone dropped to the ground. I gleefully grabbed it and began to make my way back

to the wizard.

As I went down the hill, the run up the hill finally caught up with me, and I slowed down.

I knew that it was unwise to run down a slope anyways, lest you trip and break your face.

I decided that I had retrieved the ingredient fast enough that whatever the wizard had inmind to make had been put back on schedule, and I had sufficiently made up the time I

had been dawdling. But I thought: how the heck did he know I was coming? Did he put

the button there in the bathroom, using some kind of magic? How had he timed it so

perfectly? But since I was lateand here I didnt even know I had a very important datecouldnt he have set things in motion just a little earlier? Maybe he had just been

joking? Maybe I cant really trust him? There was too much for me to comprehend.Upon reaching the base of the hill, I pushed the notions aside for the moment and

quickened my pace back to the cave, from where I now heard voices.

4

I crept up on the corner that led around to the wizards cave, training my ear hard enough

to hear two different voices. One was the wizard, speaking in calm and soothing tones.The other was an alarming and harsh noise, as if someone was speaking through a very

old and malfunctioning radio. I peeked around the corner, and spied the wizard with his

back turned to me. Whoever was there seemed to be at the very door of the cave.

Its always been your job as well, young Sawyer, the wizard was saying. Its

everyones job. What separates us from then but a twist of fate? Were no better thanthem.

You dont even get it, after all these years! the mechanical voice said. We have

power! They dont have what we have. Your twist of fate chooses us to do these tasks,because we are the ones who wield its power. We are the ones who have attained

understanding!

Hoho, understanding have you? Faith, you possess? And do not those beyond our

stature also have these things? Because I tell you, its certainly been documented in just

about all worlds. Perhaps you should crack open a book sometime?

It is not enough! We have power to break down, and build up again; we can fix all error

in the worlds with barely a thought, if we work together.


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Ah, tut-tut, but if one has faith enough to move mountains but has not love, what does

he gain? The gray wizard chuckled to himself.

Fool, dont spout your proverbs upon me! The matter stands, we control pure power.

They, do not!

How absolute of you, little friend. You think that they cant do anything that we

presume to perform on our own?

Not without our help. We are the true masters of the universe, and its our own actions

at the core of each little break in the timelines!

The wizard was silent for a moment, but then began to laugh. He turned around and wentover to one of the walls of the cliff side, revealing the owner of the second voiceit was

the little black bird from the hill, and he was none too happy, it seemed.

You shut up! the birds grinding, defunct voice rasped. No ones above us. We holdpower beyond everything! If you werent such a fool and would train me, I could attain

your power as well. Why, you could blow up this entire mountain range if you wanted!You could sink this whole continent into the sea, could drown this entire miserable

world! But no!

The wizard didnt appear to be paying any attention. In fact, he was whistling. I wasblown away when I recognized the tune from the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special:

Little birdie, why do you fly upside-down?

As I listened, the whistle grew into the full ensemble from the song, filling the foothills

with the jazzy symphony, and I even began to hear the words sung, floating in the air

next to that groovy bass track and those blaring horns. I smiled in spite of myself, mysweating palm clutching tight my retrieved pine cone.

Suddenly, the little birdie seemed to explode into a tornado of feathers, and the musicwas swiftly sucked away into its vortex and twisted into a dissonance of confusion and

anger. The wizard appeared not to mind at all, keeping his head low. It looked like he

was trying to put something together, like a device of sorts, something like a remote

control unit made of metal, or maybe the detonator to a bomb. Once the music was allgone for good, the whirlwind of black feathers gave way to the shape of a man with short

brown hair and a robe like the wizards, except this one was pure black. In the mans

hands were orbs of red fire. I had a feeling that this must have been a bad wizard.Wherever there were good wizards in stories, after all, there were bad wizards trying to

do them in.

The gray wizard turned to look at him, shaking his head. Youre like a child. Worse,

really. Youre like an adult.


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The black wizard, Sawyer, stood there with this smoldering fists shaking, not able to

speak.

I just want you to know, Sawyer, I do pity you. I grieve, indeed I do. The gray wizard

really meant it, I realized. There was a heartfelt sorrow in his eyes as he looked at the

black robed wizard, whose fireballs withdrew into his hands. Now, enough foolishness.Joseph, you can come on out now.

Somehow Id been enough of a fool to think that the wizards hadnt been able to sensemy presence. I stepped out sheepishly and went up to the gray wizard, trying to ignore

the glare that came from Sawyer. I found the pinecone, I said, holding it out to him.

Good, I see! He took it and placed it on a little table that I could only guess the wizardhadpoofedinto existence after Id gone on my quick adventure. There were also some

circular pieces of a shiny brown metal, an ancient looking hammer, and little red rocks

like unpolished rubies. As I watched, he took the hammer in one fluid motion slammed it

down on the pinecone with surprising force. Not pausing a second, he took one of thelittle plates that made up the exterior of the cone and pressed it on the surface of the

metal. He touched a finger to the bristle tip of the plate, and like a snap of staticelectricity, an arc of white light shot out from the tip of his finger to the pinecone plates

tip. The result was that the plate stuck to the metal like super glue. Still not stopping, he

took another plate and repeated the process, going in a circular motion around the edge of

the metal disk.

After five or six times this happened, I gambled a peek over at Sawyer, who still hung

back near the entrance to the cave. I have to say that I nearly lost control of my bladderwhen I saw that he was staring back at me, and I guess by magic made his eyes turn into

balls of fire with a dark, empty looking pupil right in the middle. I couldnt look away;

his stare locked onto me and pulled my mind into his, and I couldnt see but could feel

the badness, the pure atrocity that he was showing to me. Worlds that hed destroyed, or

had tried to destroy. People that hed ruined. Pure hate at everything, and he was trying

to push it onto me. He didnt like that I was pals with the gray wizard, because he wasscared of the gray wizard, although he wouldnt admit it. I wasnt sure why myself, but I

was glad that the gray bearded guy had stuck around, and not let me fall into the hands of

this nut, this wacko, this crazy person. He was like a bully at recess, and the gray wizard

was as good as a big brother, better even. I wouldnt know, since Id never had one.

I wasnt sure how long I was staring Sawyer down, but when I looked back to the gray

wizards little craft, I saw that the entire outside margin had been encircled by the grayplates from the pinecone. He now laid the thing down on its back and was strategically

placing the little red stones in the middle of it.

Dont mind my little birdie over there, Joseph, said the gray wizard in a confiding

manner. Hes just a sourpuss. He turned his head to Sawyer and tipped him a friendly

wink. In return, there was a blast of noise from far above and away as a chunk of the


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mountain gave way to slide down the hill. Sawyer seemed to tremble from his head to

his toes with fury.

Is there anything else that I need to do? I asked.

Yes indeed. One more thing, actually. And its going to be a bit perilous. He turnedonce more to Sawyer. Little birdie, could you look in that cave for a little glass jar? It

should be right at the front.

Sawyer seemed to hesitate, wanting to lash out at the gray wizard, but he held it in. Get

it yourself, you old twit. And with that, he shrunk back into the form of the black bird

and took off in a flutter towards the mountain, making a couple of angry caws as he went.

The gray wizard shook his head. Just cant get good help nowadays, you know? He

went over to his cave entrance and retrieved the jar.

As he did that, I asked, Who is he? And why dont you just get rid of him?

To answer your second question first, my lad, its because he always seems to get rid ofhimself, as you just witnessed. His name is Sawyer, and hes just a bad seed. The

wizard went to the mouth of the cave and bent to rummage through a small pile of what I

could only think of as junk. He was like me, a wizard of sorts, but he took a turn down

the wrong road at some point in his life, and now he causes problems for folks. He feelshis way is so much better than everyone elses. Lets leave it at that, shall we? He

returned to the table, handing me a jar with a screwed on lid.

Hes afraid of you for some reason, isnt he?

Oh, hes afraid of his own shadow nearly all the time. People such as him always are;its a side effect of making too many enemies, which in itself is a side effect of having

too much magic in too small a mind. Anyway, your next task, also your final task, is to

bring me back some of that purple fluff that comes off of the grain plants.

Okay what about the flies?

Thats what makes this so perilous. He was frowning now. I dont want to be a badguy here, heaven forbid that, or have to disappoint you. But Id hate to have your

learning experience tarnished by your getting hurt in any way. So, Joseph, if any time

you realize that your mission makes you uncomfortable, I suppose, well, you can headback to the hill from whence you came, and Ill find a new apprentice. No harm, no foul,

no hard feelings!

I was shaking my head vigorously. Ill get it done! Please, you can trust me.

The Wizard chuckled. Oh, I know that! But there are those that would think it unwise

to send a boy such as yourself out to do this for me.


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You mean, Sawyer?

Him? Hoho, I couldnt really force myself to mind what his position in the matter is; he

isnt that important. He doesnt like you, but thats because youre affiliated with me,

and Im affiliated with others. Its some of those others that dont quite have faith inthis project. I suspected that he meant the other good wizards in his council. That

meant that I had an audience, somewhere. I decided that I would prove my worth to

whoever these unseen doubters were.

He cleared his throat, and began to pace at the doorway of his cave. Now. The field

flies buzz around high in the air, until the wind sends that pollenthe purple matter

into the air. Then the flies come down and grab it. Now, youll be close enough to theground that you can grab the pollen right out of the air once it starts blowing. But the

flies will come after all the pollen they can, and if youve got some close to you, the fly

will attack you to make you give up your pollen. So once youve got it, you need to

break for it back here. You understand?

I think so once the pollen comes off the plant, catch it in the jar before the flies cancatch me.

And dont catch any flies in the jar, either! They will be pretty mad when you let them

out.

Okay. I got it. I really thought I did.

Excellent. Hurry back, then! Jar in hand, I started to walk back to the field. Oh, and

Joseph? Dont break off one of the plants and try to empty it out into the jar. It doesnt

work out well.

5

Taking heed of the gray wizards warning, I set out back to the fields of gold and green. I

made it just in time to see another gust of wind roll off from the mountains and over the

stalks of grain, sending another violet cloud into the air. This time, I looked for the flies.I didnt see them at first, because I was looking too low. I finally saw them after I

tracked one of the wisps of pollen, watching it rise into the atmosphere, and then from

above a black, winged shape darted down and snatched it away. I watched the procedureseveral times, mesmerized by the proficiency of the flies and the endless tide of pollen.

And so, I didnt notice a larger winged black shape soar downwards to my left.

You cant do it, said the mechanical radio-robot voice of the black bird. I jumped,

startled, and looked down, where it stood on the ground on skinny black bird legs.Youre not fast enough, kid. The flies will see you stealing their pollen and theyll come


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down here, and say, that wizard didnt tell you what happened when they bit you, did

he?

No he just said they bite. A nasty bite, his words had been.

Indeed they do, Derrick. They bite you, and they bite you again, and just keep bitingyou. See, their bites have a poison that will make you sore for hours, and when that

stops, it will ache for days after that. And then, their bites, each and every one, will swell

up, until they pop, Derrick. Youll have blood and bug spit everywhere, all over you.

I didnt want to listen. Somehow I knew that his words, his bite was poison as well, but Icouldnt stop myself from gaping at the little birdie.

Derrick, that old wizard doesnt know what hes doing, sending out a little kid like you

to do something that you know you cant do. He doesnt even call you by your name,

does he?

He calls me by my middle name.

Oh, yeah? Well, whatever he calls you, let me give you some advice. Go home,

Derrick.

I think I like using my middle name

Go back up that hill and push that button, Derrick J.

But right then, the kid that was known as Derrick J went away, disappeared, took a very

long vacation. I was tired of being nothing more than a nuisance, someone who didntunderstand math and was ignored by his peers. If I ever got back, I knew that Mrs. S and

I were going to have a heart to heart about what went on in her class, whether it wouldend up with me having a better understanding of math or not. I didnt know. I had other

things to worry about then.

I said to Sawyer, Im not going to.

Yeah? Well, then youre not leaving these fields without some nasty bites, Derrick.

My name is Joseph. And Ill get the pollen. I was on top of the world. Its not every

day you get to face off with an evil great enough to tear your very essence apart. I waslucky to have the gray wizard on my side, otherwise Sawyer would have done just that, I

bet.

The black bird let out a cruelBrraaacck! and flew up into the air. I watched it circleabove me like it thought it was a turkey vulture, waiting for me to make some kind of

mistake.


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I went up to where the grain began to grow, my jar in my hand. I waited patiently for

another breeze to blow past me, feeling brave and courageous and heroic and everything

else like that. At last, here it came, and the purple pollen began to rise into the air.

I unscrewed the lid to my jar and dashed out into the field, waving my vessel around to

catch some of the stuff. I didnt know how much the wizard wanted, but I felt that Icould fill the jar up a dozen times over. But with that first round, I realized that the

pollen rose into the air faster than I had expected. The flies buzzed above me and caughtall the pollen at once, and I looked into my jar to see it bare. Fine then, I thought, I was

going to have to be more tactical about it.

I held my jar right in front of one of the plants and waited for the next wind to simply

carry the pollen directly into it. As I waited, I saw the black bird flutter over to theground nearby, and it hopped over to me.

Heres a thought, Derrick.

My names Joseph, I insisted. I was getting pretty tired of this Sawyer character.

Why not just break the plant off and shake the pollen into the jar? Wouldnt that work

out so much easier?

The wizard said not to. It wont work.

Yeah? Well, heres another thought for ya, Derrick my man. That wizard is full of it.

He doesnt know how things work around here. Hes just visiting this place, see. Im the

real master here. I own the mountains, the fields, the flies, the pollen, all of it. I know.

Youre lying.

Just break off that top part of the stalk, and shake the pollen out. Its that easy!

No, I said. Bullies, when theyre smart enough, will try to get you to do something

youre not supposed to, either to get you hurt or get you in trouble. I was very fortunate

to understand that much at my young age. Lucky for me, I watched Hey Arnold. If youwere wanting to help me, then you wouldnt have tried to get me to leave before.

Sawyer ruffled his feathers in frustration. Why, I just didnt know that you were brave

enough, Derrick! I didnt think you had it in youyoure one brave little kid, you knowthat?

He was right; I was brave to come out here. But I wasnt stupid. I ignored him, waiting

for the breeze to come. It seemed to be taking a very long time.

You know you want to, Sawyer was saying. His voice seemed to be getting harsher,

more static-y. You know that something very interesting happens when you do. Why


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wouldnt the wizard not let you do it? Hes afraid that you wont come back to help him

with his boring project. Maybe if you eat it itll make you fly, fly all the way up to the

moon, Derrick!

I turned around and glared at the bird. My names not Derrick anymore! Stop calling

me that! And then, I felt it. The wind was starting to blow again.

6

I twisted around and held the jar at the perfect angle for catching pollen. My face was

contorted into a grimace of concentration as the breeze first tickled the stalks, and then

gently gave them a nudge that finally caused them to bend over, and the loose pollen

within them to trickle out into the air.

Derrick, stop it now! cried Sawyer in what sounded to be more of a caw now

than any real language.

I watched with joy as the purple flecks spilled out and began to float upwards, to where

my jar waited for them. Above me, I heard a distracted hum as the flies gathered thepollen from other plants around me. This one, though, was mine.

With a terrible Grraaaackk the bird launched itself into the air, right at me. Itstalons came right for my face, and I ducked instinctively out of the way, dropping the jar

as I did. A great deal of the pollen that I had collected drifted into the air, and I heard a

distinct droning sound come down out of the air.

Stupid bird! I said as I stood up and grabbed my jar. But my rage was cut short as I

saw one of the flies swooping around and catching the pollen. Up close, I could see thatthe fly resembled a hummingbird in appearance and size, with wings beating faster thanmy eyes could follow and a long stinger of a nose. They were pretty huge for bugs,

though. Its long legs swooshed about, catching the pollen and sticking it on its already

violet abdomen, as a honeybee does with regular yellow pollen. After it had caught all ofthe pollen that had escaped my jar, it suddenly aimed downward. It was going for what

was left in the jar, I realized with horror.

Before I could drop the jar or put the lid on, Sawyer was in my face again, beating hiscoal-black wings in my face and cawing crazily. I shouted and swung the jar at him,

sending what was left into the air, where the fly busily began to catch it.

You stupid bird! I shouted. Whats your problem? I was within an inch of smashing

Sawyer with the jar.

I cant let you do it! That wizard must not finish his little craft! I cant allow it!

Sawyers robotic caw now had an edge of frantic desperation to it. He flew toward one

of the stalks and latched his beak onto the base of the plant. He was trying to pull it outof the ground, it seemed.


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Cut it out! He said not to do that!

Shut up, fool boy! Youll pay the price for crossing me!

As angry as Sawyer sounded, I was effectively convinced that I was much, much angrier.I launched my foot at him, trying to give him quite the kick. He hopped nimbly out of

the way, still tugging at the plant.

I had an idea, right then. It probably would seem pretty moronic if I had had the time to

think it through, but anger can only lead to impulse, sometimes good and sometimes not

so good.

I dived upon Sawyer with the jar, trying to trap him. The birds eyes grew wide with

animal fear. Lets not have this now, Derrick! You should be in school, you fool boy!

he said as he leaped out of the way again. I didnt even lend him a response. I jumped at

him again with the jar, barely missing him once more.

Sawyer, in what was probably a fit of frustration, leaped upon the head of one of thestalks, which bent under his weight. Some pollen floated off of it, stirring the flies above

to attention. The stalk continued to bend, bend, and bend until finally the base of the

plant snapped. Ka-boom, ka-blewy.

I was in a vortex of violet, a literal purple haze. Once the plant broke, all the pollen

within exploded forth from it, bathing myself and Sawyer in a magenta fog. I later

learned about adaptations that plants develop, such as learning to eat insects or growingpoisonous thorns. I eventually decided that this plant, when broken from its root system,

had adapted to eject all remaining pollen within it so that the flies could get to it. At that

moment, that was a lotof pollen. I coughed and dropped to my knees, blinded byit. I clutched the jar and its lid, and thought just at the last second to get my fill of pollen.

I waved it in front of me in one big arc, and instantly had a jar full of featherweight

purple dust.

Sawyer let out an inhuman shriek, realizing what he had done. He flew into the air and

tried to dive bomb me as the pollen rose into the air. I looked up in time to see a darker

cloud descend behind the little birdie, as the flies frenzied to collect the pollen that hungall around me.

I was frozen. The wizard said that the flies gave a fairly dreadful sting. What happenedwhen the whole colony decided to take a bite out of you? I was stuck in a nightmare, and

my legs had turned to sludge. I couldnt even turn around.


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7

Sawyer hit the jar, and once he did I realized just how tightly I was clutching it. He flewstraight into the opening and hit the bottom of it, sending a flurry of the purple fluff out

and into my face. Sawyer didnt move, so I guessed he had stunned himself. I had other

problems at the moment anyway, as the flies swooped up the pollen from the top of thecloud of it down to the bottom where I stood, still unmoving and terrified.

Dont move, I thought. Just keep still, and theyll think youre another stalk of grain.

But it didnt feel like my own thoughts. It felt like someone else was thinking for me,

something like that. Was it the wizard? Could he do that? How did he know what was

going on?

Dont move, Joseph. I obeyed the voice, whether it was my own or someone elses. The

flies drew closer, catching every little errant fleck of pollen they could find. Many of

them flew back up into the clouds, as a lot of the pollen from the plant Sawyer had

broken had floated up there by now. One of the bugs abruptly buzzed up in front of myface to catch some pollen, and I realized then that they were ignoring the pollen in the jar.

It had to be in motion for them to detect it.

I hadnt had this revelation five seconds before Sawyer awakened and fluttered aboutwithin the jar, sending pollen into the air in front of me. The flies were called to

attention, and several of them swarmed around me, hastily grabbing the pollen. Dontmove dont move a muscle

I imagine Sawyer realized suddenly where he was, and I imagine he wasnt thrilled aboutit in the least, either. He tried to dig himself out of the pollen, but this sent more of it into

the flies range. Two of them drifted over to me to collect their fill of pollen, while therest of the whirring cloud drifted higher and away. Suddenly, they apparently noticed thejar of it I held, as well as the little black bird stirring it up. I guess the flies dont like it

when something else tries to take their purple treasure. That would be why they come

equipped with those hefty stingers.

The flies dive bombed the jar, and this time the voice in my head told me loud and clear:Put the lid on!

I clasped the lid on the jar and quickly screwed it on. Inside, Sawyer and the two flies

were having a melee in their own miniature purple haze.

I knew I could count on you, Joseph.

I looked up from the jar to see the wizard standing there before me, his staff in his hand.Looks like you did fairly well, from what I can see, he said, his smile more bemused

than beaming.


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Thanks but well, I got Sawyer and two of the flies mixed up with the pollen. I

handed the writhing jar up to him sheepishly. I was pretty certain that I had done my task

incorrectly.

Dont worry about it, said the wizard with a kind grin. I think I can still use it. And

then, from out of nowhere he produced a second glass jar, this one a bit smaller than thelast. I watched with amazement as the wizard held the jar of swirling violet, with quick

black flashes from its occupants, above the empty and lidless one, and gave it a lightshake. The pollen simply drifted down into the second jar, going right through the glass.

The second jar was filled perfectly to the very top, allowing us to see the battle going on

in the first jar. Sawyer was holding his own against the two flies, but he had somedreadful lumps beneath his feathers where the flies had stung him. The wizard, with

barely a thought, tossed the jar deeper into the field, where it shattered. We watched as

the little bird took off and tried to fly away, all the while fending itself off from the bugs.

Ill get you back! he called back to us. Ill find you, you old fool! Consider yourself

marked! I will get you back for this!

No, he wont, said the wizard contently. Sawyer flew away towards the horizon, and I

never saw him again.

8

We stood in silence for a moment, the winds now faded and the pollen resting within thegrain stalks. Finally I asked, Why didnt you go out and get it yourself? I didnt want

to sound angry, although thats how it sounded to my own ears. Sawyer could have

killed me, couldnt he?

Perhaps. But he wouldnt have dared. He knows that I would have had him if he had

laid as much as a feather on you. Creatures such as he are how would you put it?

Bullies. And bullies are a tenth muscle, and the rest fear.

Nine-tenths fear, I said.

Youre pretty good at fractions, he said with a bit of a wry smile.

I never thought so. I dont like math.

Well, you wont need to too much. Come, though. I had better use this before you have

to leave.

Before I could protest, the wizard snapped his fingers, and suddenly we were back near

his cave, standing before the table with his little artifact awaiting completion. There were

two of them now, this second one smaller and more oblong in shape. They both hadsilver chains on them, like necklaces. The wizard first took a handful of pollen and

sprinkled it on top of the little pile of red stones in the center of his first artifact.


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On the far end of his table was a small beaker of pale blue liquid, which he took and

poured a drop of on the pollen and stones. Instantly, the mixture melted upon thependant, like chocolate syrup on an ice cream sundae. For the second necklace, the

wizard just dropped it in the jar of pollen, shook it up, and pulled it out again. It was now

dark green, the color of the pine trees on the hills.

He handed it to me. This is yours, Joseph.

Thanks. I took it hesitantly. You never answered my question from before, you

know.

Oh, heavens! I didnt. Well, you asked why I had you collect the pollen when I couldhave done so myself, didnt you?

Yeah. And what does the necklace do, anyway?

One at a time, now. You see, Joseph, I needed you to do this for me not because I

couldnt, but because you had to. What would have happened if I hadnt called you fromyour world and into mine? You would have grown to be a very sad boy indeed. By

calling you here, I brought forth within you the bravery you will need in your life. Its a

matter of experience.

I think I see. But I didnt feel very brave when those flies started coming so close to

me.

Nor would I have been, in your shoes. That would be the line between bravery and

foolishness, you see? And there is no bravery in foolishness, no courage, no wisdom.

Even the bear will have bad dreams, and everyone is afraid of the bear. Yet he is wisebecause he is cautious, and remains brave even so.

I shifted my weight from one foot to another. I think you lost me.

The wizard smiled again, with a twinkle of amusement in his eye. Youll understand in

time, as long as you remember what I say to you. Sometimes youve got to be cautious to

be brave, and brave to be cautious. Now as for these, he picked up his necklace. Theconcoction of melted stuff had cooled into something like colored glass. These are

amulets. Yours will take you back to this place. But it will only work when the time is

right. Youll know when you can come back here; if you have to ask yourself, itprobably wont work. Just go wherever you think it will work, and let it take you away.

Youll appear right on that hill that you first showed up on.

Okay. But what is this place?

The wizard thought about it for a moment. You know, why dont we just call it the End

for now?


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So theres nothing past the horizon, if this is the end? Or anything over the mountains?

So it would seem that the end isnt really the end, that there really isnt an end at all.

Thats called irony. The wizard laughed lightly.

Is that what your amulet does too? Take you here?

No. My amulet has a far different purpose. Although well, lets say that even thevery wise dont see all ends, shall we?

So you dont even know?

I have some guesses. Dont mind them right now, though. Its not important. What is

important is getting you back to where you belong.

I have to go already? I felt a welling of fear within me, as well as gut understanding. Itreally was time to go, I knew just as well as I would know when it was time to return.

Im afraid so. But dont fret. As long as you keep that amulet safe, Joseph, and as

secret as you know full well you need to, you will have the ability to return.

Will you be here whenever I come back? I asked.

Joseph, like I said, if you have to ask

It probably wont work. So Im never going to see you again?

Oh, I imagine you will eventually. Either at this end or another, I further speculate. Butalas, for now we must part ways. Already, the wizard was growing transparent. He

slipped the amulet on as I watched him teleport himself away. Remember what I said.

Be brave, but be cautious. Be wise, but be strong.

Goodbye, I said, trying not to let tears meet my eyes. Goodbye, wizard.

Take care, Joseph. And with that, he was gone.

I dragged myself up the hill to where my adventure had begun. As I ascended, I realized

that I had forgotten to ask him if it was he who was telling me to stand still when the flieshad swarmed me. With each step I took higher up the rocky knoll, the question weighed

me down more and more, but as I approached the summit, another thing that the wizard

had said came back to me.

If you have to ask

Be wise but strong


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The button to take me back was still there, but I found myself distrusting of it. Instead, I

focused on the amulet. I closed my eyes, and slipped it around my neck. Once I did, Ifelt a force take over me, like being plunged underwater and rapidly surfacing again, and

in an instant I was back in the school bathroom. The button was gone, and would never

return. It wouldnt need to.

From there, I went on living my life as Joseph. The first person I alerted to this change

was Mrs. Scouressel. It was lunch time, so she was sitting all alone in the classroom ather desk. I told her about how I had problems paying attention in her class and I wanted

to know how she was going to help me. I told her, in some words or others, that I felt it

was her responsibility to help me to be involved with the class.

She was quite taken aback at my sudden maturity. So much so that she never checked

back with the principal to see that I had made it to his office. I didnt tell her about my

adventure to the End; her or anyone else for a very long time. And no one asked me

about my new necklace. That was all I could ask for, really.

After I had made my terms with Mrs. Scouressel, who didnt seem nearly as evil whencompared to Sawyer, she had sent me on my way and I told her that I didnt go by

Derrick anymore, J or no J. Just call me Joseph, my middle name.

Oh, why? You dont like your name?

I guess not. Besides, you already have a Derrick.

Whenever I felt the urge to go back to the End, I always excused myself to the bathroom.

It seemed like the only place it would work. But eventually, I graduated to middle

school, and couldnt use the bathrooms at my old elementary school anymore. So I founda grove of old pine trees in a nearby park that felt like the right place to go. It was better

to go when school had let out, anyway. And even as I grew older, I always would get

that urge to go to the End and walk around on the hills, wander about at the edge of thefields of gold and purple, and gaze out at the blue line of the horizon, and just wonder

what was out there.


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Moris sons name: Tyro.

Documents

The Wizard's Apprentice