The Weekend 17 January 2014

FROM FRIDAY, JANUARY 17, 2014 ISSUE 87WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR TIME AND MONEY

GET OUT AND GET INSHAPE ON PARK RUNS

IDEAS TO BRIGHTENUP YOUR LUNCH

SEE THEATRE STARSOF THE FUTURE

THE CAFE THAT’S AHIVE OF ACTIVITY

ONEMAN ANDHIS PENGUINS

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Sean Hughes talks life, family, careers and... penguins

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Competition: Win up to £2,000 towardsyour Energy Efficiency Service

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IDEASIf you’re looking for inspiration on how to makethe most of your free time... this is the place to start Fortnight

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Independent of the week Opening aco-operative craft centre is a dream

come true for Hazel Golding. Kate Edservisits this eclectic shop-cum-café incommunity-conscious Staple Hill

THE BUZZOF THEBUSY BEE

SHOPPING

Since college days,it was HazelGolding’s dream toopen aco-operative craftshop. Now, morethan two decades

later, she has realised that aimand opened Busy Bee, at StapleHill’s Burley Grove shoppingparade. While her own area ofexpertise is leaded glass, it’sbeen an all-consuming effort toset up the shop, which openedearly in September, so Hazelhasn’t had time to createanything herself.But there are, it seems, plenty

of talented people in the localitywhose wares pack the BusyBee’s reclaimed shelves.Hazel is clear that her outlet

should be a showcase for localskills, and a place wherelike-minded folk can gather tocreate, learn and talk. Sheexplains: “All the merchandiseyou see has been made andbrought in by local peoplebecause the shop is all aboutneighbourhood, community andenjoying the fact that there arepeople with skills in the StapleHill and Downend area.

“Creative people around herefound me through word ofmouth, even before I started toadvertise. I picked this spot dueto its reputation for community.“What I am building here is for

people to use, to enjoy, to beinspired by; a place where theycan come and do craft sessions,and if they want to put theirthings in the shop, there isalways that possibility.“I sell on a commission basis

and I take 30 per cent.”Hazel spent six months

transforming the former chemistinto a bright store, plus a caféand workshop, all with atraditional feel.Among the eclectic and

colourful stock, for adults andchildren alike, is a wide range oftextiles, knitted and crocheteditems, cushions, plaques, smallitems of furniture, fabric-covereddoor stops, decorations, printedcotton aprons and bags, toys,jewellery, candles, hand cream,scarves, quilts, cards, bookcovers, wooden jewellery boxes,and even hand-painted flyingducks, which have become quitea talking point.Hazel, who lives in Whitehall

with her 14-year-old son, hasbeen a prison-based careersadvisor in recent years, but “aseries of events in life” led her totake the plunge this year andopen the shop.It’s an idea that’s been

brewing since she left college inthe early Nineties.She says: “I remember asking

myself what was I doing withthis arty stuff because I’d neverbe able to make a living. Ithought back then that the onlyway to make it work would be toform a co-operative, a communalworkshop and shop whereeveryone splits the bills.“Nobody at that time was

interested, but I nevercompletely shelved the idea. ”Twenty-five years later, Busy

Bee was born. Besides attracting

craftspeople and shoppers, it isalso a meeting place for localgroups, including Bromley HeathWI and newly formed Knit andNatter.Which brings me to the café,

which fits seemlessly with theethos of the shop and helps turna profit. Hazel makes the saladsand cakes herself; many of thelatter are free from gluten and/orsugar free, and she alsoproduces gluten-free bread.Food is served on a plethora

of vintage-style crockery of thesort your granny had.All second-hand, the tables

and chairs are a mismatchedbunch that sit together well,complemented by a huge mirrorover the fireplace, andold-fashioned dressers.The only hints at modernity

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are the fridges and the coffeemachine.Open six days a week (not

Saturday), the shop is attractinga steady stream of customers,who can browse a range ofreasonably priced items, startingfrom just £1, up to pieces offurniture, the most expensive ofwhich is a 1930s wooden sewingbox for £73. In between, thereare pieces of jewellery madewith semi-precious stones orglass for about the £20 mark.Among the suppliers is a

Downend couple who keep beesin a small orchard and producecider, candles and hand cream,with honey to come next spring,and Hazel is also in discussionwith a local wood-turner, whosecreations she hopes to have instock soon.

At the moment, Busy Bee is anever-changing story, which suitsHazel just fine.“Every day something new

happens, and that’s what keepsme going. Someone will comeand inspire me; people withskills. It is delightful whenpeople bring in what they havemade. I know how frustrating itis when you’re creative andskilled and you’re limited tocraft fairs, and people beat youdown on price like they’re at acar boot fair, but people comehere and appreciate what I do,and it sells.”

Busy Bee is at 174 Burley Grove,Downend, BS16 5QQ. The shop isopen Monday to Friday 9am-5pm,and on Sunday 10am-4pm, butshut on Saturday.

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It’s time to put the tired old year behind you and welcome the new year in big, bright style. Follow thelatest trend in interior design, and go bold.

BOLD IS BEAUTIFUL

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If you can’t beat the January blues, join them. Whether it’s navy, duck-egg, powder or colbalt,blue is the ‘in’ colour this season.

WINTER BLUES

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Heath and fitness Liver disease isn’tconfined to heavy drinkers, as

29-year-old Marina Barlow knows onlytoo well. She tells Kate Edser that such alife-changing diagnosis needn’t be an

entirely negative experience

LIVINGWITHLIVERDISEASE

HEALTH&BEAUTY

Out of the blue,Marina Barlowdeveloped ayellow hue toher skin –jaundice – andfound herself in

the Bristol Royal Infirmary for aweek where doctors diagnosedauto-immune hepatitis, forwhich there is no cure.So Marina, who is 29 and lives

in Filton, is stuck with thecondition for life and, althoughshe’s lucky that the disease iswell-managed with medication,the worst-case scenario is thather liver deteriorates to thepoint where a transplant is theonly way forward.The sudden onset of such a

potentially serious illness was abit of a shock, but Marina hasdetermined that negativity willnot do. Indeed, although it’sbeen a life-changing experience,there are many positives toemerge and celebrate.Two-and-a-half years on, she is

feeling well and says: “Myoutlook on life has completely

changed. You learn who yourfriends are and you learn toappreciate the people in yourlife; you look at what’simportant and your prioritieschange. I have a great supportnetwork and life is good.”In fact Marina, who works in

procurement for theEnvironment Agency in Bristol,has been feeling so good thatshe has recently embarked on acharity trek.Through Charity Challenges,

she undertook a five-day, 45-milehike through the mountains ofCuba, raising £3,000 in theprocess for the British LiverTrust. She has also taken uprunning and has completed acouple of 10km races.“I wouldn’t have done Cuba or

the 10ks if I hadn’t become ill.It’s been a real learningexperience and a good one too.“Whatever you have to face,

you have to get somethingpositive out of it – that’s reallyimportant.“When it got to the first

anniversary of being ill, which

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was July 2011, I thought I reallywanted to mark it in some way. Ididn’t know what to do, so Icontacted the British Liver Trustbecause they have a page ofevents you can get involved into raise money.“I thought it would be good to

do something out of my comfortzone and to raise money for thetrust, so they can raiseawareness of non-alcoholic liverdisease as well as research intocures.“It was one of the best things I

have ever done and I woulddefinitely do something like itagain.”Though the cause of her

disease is largely unknown,specialists can keep a watchfuleye on it with regular bloodtests, scans and an occasional

Liver health

Love Your LiverPop-up Clinic

Take the three-stepchallenge to good liverhealth with the BritishLiver Trust’s UK-wide tour,which stops in Bristol onWednesday, January 22.The trust will be offering

free expert advice, thechance to undergo anon-invasive Fibroscanliver test and glasses ofEisberg alcohol-free mulledwine at a one-day clinic atMorrisons supermarket carpark, The Mall, CribbsCauseway. For moreinformation, visitwww.loveyourliver.org.uk.

biopsy.Until very recently, Marina’s

been taking steroids – andenduring their unpleasantside-effects – but her liver hasimproved to the point wheresuch drugs are no longernecessary, although she will takeimmune system suppressantsfor the rest of her life.This means, of course, that

Marina is particularlysusceptible to infections, soeven coughs and colds can beserious, but she maintains ahealthy lifestyle to give herselfthe best chance of staying well.Although auto-immune

hepatitis is one of several liverdiseases that cannot beattributed to excess boozing,cutting down the amount shedrinks is key to continued

good health.Marina says: “My liver has

steadily improved over time andI actually came off the steroidsearly in December.“I’m generally quite healthy,

but my alcohol intake is nownext to nothing; I have the oddglass of wine here and there, butI can’t buy a bottle of wine forthe weekend any more.“But I’m in a better position

than a lot of people with thesame condition as me.“One message I’d like to get

out is that liver disease isn’t justassociated with alcoholics.“You only get one liver, it does

so much and you have to lookafter it – and there is noguarantee of a liver transplant.“I have no sympathy with

alcoholics.”

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If you feel like a spare partin the gym, sprint back tothe sanctuary of yourbathroom. The beautyworld has some seriouslyheavyweight products tokeep your face and body

fit for 2014 – no gymmembership or sweat required.Whip slack skin and lazycomplexions back into shapewith these beauty boosters.

and improving elasticity in thechin area, £55(www.blissworld.co.uk).To encourage some youthful

bounce, try Clinique’sRepairwear Uplifting FirmingCream. A skin personal trainer ina pot, it visibly tightens, lifts andfirms the face and neck, £52(0870 034 2566/www.clinique.co.uk).

Facial gyms haven’t beeninvented yet so engage in thenext best thing – massage.Self-massage in the mirrorallows oxygenated blood to flowfreely, releasing toxins andalleviating festive puffiness.Celebrity facialist Sarah

Chapman makes upliftingmassages easier with herFacialift device.The massager features eight

heads and 48 nodules to lift andsculpt the face and aidlymphatic drainage, £25(www.sarahchapman.net).Massage as you cleanse with

Magnitone’s Pulsar Daily Skin

Cleansing & Toning System ForFace And Body. The 15,000rotational oscillations perminute not only remove deepimpurities but noticeably firmsand tightens skin as it polishes,£129.99 (Boots).

Stay dedicated to a 30-secondmassage routine for 30 daysstraight with Mio’s Get WaistedSculpting Body Shaper.Dubbed “rehab for abs”, it

vows to increase natural fatburning for smoother, firmer,tauter skin around the waistand tummy, £35(www.mioskincare.co.uk).

Fear sleeveless tops no more,when armed with Soap & Glory’sThe Firminator Targeted ArmFirming & Toning Formula.It not only tones but

exfoliates, to blur away theimperfections we’ve been hidingaway in woolly jumpers, £12(Boots).Wave goodbye to sagging skin

for 2014 using Pupa’s Inner ArmShaping Cream. To maximiseresults, apply to the inner armsin an energetic massage motionfrom the elbow to the shoulder,twice a day for eight weeks tomaximise tightening, £42(www.escentual.com).

A winter workout for face and body ...without the pain

There are plenty of toning andweight exercises designed foryour body, but don’t let yourface miss out on the action.

If you don’t fancythe scary chestpress contraptionat the gym, try ThisWorks’ PerfectCleavage FirmingLotion. Thisnourishing lotionthat plumps andenhances yourdecolletage, £38

When it comes tothe face,encouragingplumpness is key todiminishing finelines so give yourcomplexion aworkout with Bliss’Firm, Baby Firm.The dual-actionserum gets to workfirming up thedelicate eye zone (www.thisworks.com).

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If you had to build a brandnew way to search theinternet, starting fromscratch, where would youstart? What would youbuild? Those were thequestions Biz Stone and

Ben Finkel asked themselveswhile taking a walk through SanFrancisco.It occurred to them that the

search engines we’re used to,including market leader Google,were all designed in the dayswhen desktop computers ruledthe internet.For today’s young people,

those days are ancient history.Their computers don’t sit ondesks, they move around.Very often, they don’t use

“computers” at all, but tabletsand mobile phones.So Stone and Finkel decided

they needed to build a searchthat takes advantage of thismobile technology, and theconstant interconnectednessthat comes with it.The result is Jelly

(www.jelly.co) and at first glanceit’s, well, a bit odd.Its creators say it’s a way for

you to ask your friends aboutstuff you encounter. Snap apicture, share it with friends,and ask them “What is thisthing?” or “How do I fix this?”Your friends can supply their

own answers, or forward yourquestion to other people theythink might be able to help.Yes, you can already do this

with a simple email. Or even aTweet. That’s partly why Jellywill seem odd.But install it on your

smartphone and give it a try.

Although it’s very early days,there’s something compellingabout flicking through theconversations happening there.Similar conversations could

never happen by email, becauseeveryone hates email and you’dbe accused of spamming, andthey wouldn’t happen on Twitterbecause they’d be too long.Jelly might be strange, but

perhaps Stone and Finkel are onto something. After all, strangeworked pretty well for Twitter,and dozens of others.

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An appcessory is an app that combines with an actual, real thing, giving you the best of the virtual and physicalworlds. Leading appcessory expert Chris Ilett, of appcessorise.com, says there will be “an explosion in offerings”

in 2014. With this in mind, Peter Jenkinson rounds up six of the current best.

APPS GET PHYSICAL

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If you’re looking to get inshape without slogging itout on the treadmillwithin the four grey wallsof a sweaty gym, thenhead out to the stunningsurrounds of Ashton

Court Estate.Join like-minded people for

Ashton Court’s Parkrun everySaturday at 9am.It’s free to join, but you are

asked to register before yourfirst run. And don’t forget tobring a printed copy of yourbarcode – if you forget it, you

DAYS OUT

POUND THEPARKLAND

won’t get a time.The popular park run covers a

5km route in the estate’spicturesque grounds.The course has been

accurately measured with aprofessional measuring wheeland consists of Tarmac andstone/gravel paths, whichprovide a good year-roundrunning surface.The park run starts and

finishes on the main serviceroad, 250m beyond the mansion,and following well-made pathsto a turning point close to the

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Ashton Court quarry. From thestart to the turning point thereis an ascent of around 100m.This is mostly a steady climb,

although two short stretches arequite steep. Organisers say thatnobody should be put off by this(there is no shame in walkingthe steep bits!) and the toughclimbs are always followed bysome respite.You will also be rewarded with

fantastic views over Bristol andthe surrounding countryside,and the promise of a 2.5kmdownhill stretch to the finish.

The course will be signpostedand, subject to availablevolunteers, there will bemarshals midway and at theturning point.At the end of the run, just take

your barcode and position tokento the registration area to recordyour details.This isn’t a competition.

Beginners and regular runnersare both invited along to enjoythe event.

For more information, visitwww.parkrun.org.uk/ashton-court

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EATING OUT Reviews by Mark Taylor

Lunch: The healthy optionFeeling and tasting good

Lunch on a budgetA hearty Bristolian breakfast

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Food diary

Wine of theweek

Popolino Rosso2012

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EATING INSoup up youroffice luncheswith this spicylittle treat

Bored of the same oldoverpriced at-the-desksandwich or pre-payday panini? If so, thenew book by CarolineCraig and SophieMissing is guaranteed

to inject some joy into yourlunchtime routine and save money atthe same time.From wholesome and healthy

lunches to money-saving snackscreated using cupboard staples, thiswonderful little book is packed withgreat ideas for packed lunches,whether you work in an office orsimply need some fresh inspirationfor your children’s school lunchbox.At work, lunch easily gets

overlooked and if you only have anhour it’s easy to just grab anoverpriced soggy sandwich from thenearest shop. And then there’s thecost. In January, when money istighter than at other times of year, it’snot unusual to spend £6 a day on themost basic sandwich and soft drinkor takeaway cup of coffee.Even with the most conservative

estimate, that’s £30 a week, or morethan £100 a month, when you canmake far more exciting food at homefor a lot less.The Little Book of Lunch is filled

with delicious and simple recipes forthe office worker’s packed lunch thatwon’t break the bank.With clever approaches to classics,

making them easy for transportationbetween your kitchen and workplace,the book features quickly assembleddishes for when you barely have fiveminutes in the morning, as well asuseful weekly meal planners andshopping lists to make your lifeeasier.The book includes a number of

innovative sandwiches, soups, saladsand meals that can be cooked inadvance and which taste great atroom temperature. There are evenrecipes for sweet treats to bribe workcolleagues, such as salted caramelbrownies.This recipe comes from the chapter

extolling the virtues of taking a flaskto work, whether it’s for tea, coffee or“al desko” soup.

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TRAVEL

BUCCOLIC BRANSCOMBEUK travel A thatched inn and cottages, a lovely beach, and a village with a real feel-good factor.

That’s Branscombe, says Tim Davey.

The nice thing about taking abreak at home rather thanabroad is that often,unexpectedly, you findyourself somewheredelightfully picture postcard inappearance and so

quintessentially British.Step forward Branscombe in East Devon, a

place undoubtedly known to many, but offmy personal radar until we plumped tospend a couple of nights there last summer.Look on a map and it reveals this village

to be not too far in one direction from the

popular fishing village of Beer and along thecoast a bit from Sidmouth and Seaton.But it outshone them all so far as my wife

and I were concerned and that can mainlybe attributed to three things; the NationalTrust, an evident community spirit and anabsolutely fabulous pub and hotel, theMasons’ Arms.Our trip here coincided with one of those

exceptional bursts of summertime withwhich our nation is occasionally blessed.So we set off down the A37, switching to

the A303, heading for the coast.Branscombe’s about 80 miles from Bristol

if you go this way and, en route, we poppedinto Georgian Sidmouth, a nice, genteel,place to stroll and with loads of eateries tograb some lunch.Then it was just a short drive on to

Branscombe itself. Be warned, though, theroad is not the widest in places and a bit ofcautious motoring won’t be out of place.Soon we were entering the village, though

Branscombe’s rather strung out, runninghither and thither up various small valleys.But as we drove through we noticed the

thatched blacksmith’s forge – still working –and signs for the old bakery, now a tea shop.

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Both were sights that whetted the appetite,but a bit further down the road, when theMasons’ Arms hove into view, we knew we’dpicked somewhere special.The pub-cum-hotel dates back to 1350,

when it established itself courtesy of thecustom provided by the masons working oncutting stone nearby for use on ExeterCathedral.Our room for the next couple of nights

was something else. It wasn’t in the mainbuilding, but to one side and atop a bankwithin a charming row of thatched cottages.Outside (and there was a seating area byeach entrance) were some lovely tieredcottage gardens. Our vast room andgenerous en suite was on the first floorbeneath the thatch. It was delightful.By now it was late afternoon and the sun

was shining. What to do? Well, have a drinkand sit outside the pub overlookingBranscombe’s main street, that’s what.The place is now owned by St Austell

Brewery, which knows how to run thingsproperly, as anyone who has ever venturedinto any of its premises in its homelandfurther into the South West will know.We were dining there that night so could

really unwind and, after a leisurely drink, wedecided to amble down to the beach aroundten minutes away.Now the nice thing about this is that

village folk have created a really clever routeto the beach skirting the fields and avoidingthe narrow lanes and vehicles.The beach itself is shingle, but was a hive

of activity nevertheless. It’s a stunninglocation and not sullied byover-commercialisation. There’s a café,thatched, of course, called the Sea ShantyBeach Café serving traditional fare such ascakes and cream teas. Meanwhile, rising tothe east of the beach is the formidable-looking walking challenge of Beer Head.Back at the pub for the first of two nights’

dining and, once again, the ancientcharacter of this place was in evidence.There was a really lovely atmosphere –

and the food and service was jolly good, too,the award-winning menu featuring fishspecialities, including locally caught lobsterand crab.Next morning, as the sun blazed down, we

decided that our car, parked up in the hotelcar park, would be staying there. We wereenjoying our stay in Branscombe so much

that we agreed to spend our time amblingaround its environs exploring the placethoroughly.It was great: there was a school fete, a

wonderful private garden open to the public,a working water mill, the blacksmith’s forgeand that old baker-turned-tea room, tomention a few of the highlights. We lazed onthe beach, too, having abandoned plans totrek over the cliff to Beer in a heat wave.We left after breakfast on the following

morning and, before driving home, decidedto pop along to nearby Lyme Regis, anotherplace on this coastline we love.But, do you know, after Branscombe it

seemed just too crowded...

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MUSIC

Chris bares his rock ’n’ roll soul with high octane tour

For more than adecade,Brighton-basedwriter andmusicianChris T-T has beenone of the mostconsistently

acclaimed artists in Britishundergroundmusic and a keyinfluence for a generation ofsongwriters.Since 1999, Chris (the T-T

stands for his surnameThorpe-Tracey) has releasednine albums, including a trilogyabout London and a politicalprotest album.As well as being a prolific

recording artist who toursfrequently, he has writtenextensively for magazines andnewspapers, including theHuffington Post, and for almostfive years he wrote a regular artscolumn in The Morning Star.Alongside writing and touring,

he also speaks regularly atconferences and runs seminars

and workshops. He leadsseminars for all ages andabilities, working with schools,universities and songwritergroups across the UK.Emerging from the late

Nineties lo-fi and psych-folkscene, Chris first gained acclaimfor his wry, city-obsessed urbanfolk. More recently he hasdeveloped his style, crossingbarriers between punk,psych-pop and English folk,inspiring a generation ofsuccessful home-grown artists.Over the past 15 years, Chris

has played shows around theworld with artists as diverse asBen Folds, Elbow, The National,Divine Comedy, British SeaPower, Arab Strap, Carter USMand Robyn Hitchcock. He hasalso played piano for a numberof singers including TomRobinson and Frank Turner.Away from his own

songwriting and touring, Chrishas enjoyed a varied career.

He performed on the fourthplinth at Trafalgar Square forartist Anthony Gormley’s One &Other project; re-soundtrackedlive cult Japanese film BattleRoyale for Soho’s Other Cinemaand composedmusic oncommission for the NaturalHistory Museum and theWorldHealth Organisation.In 2011, Chris took his one-man

show Disobedience to EdinburghFringe Festival, singing newmusical versions of AAMilne’s1920s childrens’ poems.Last October saw the release

of Chris T-T’s ninth album, TheBear, recorded with his band TheHoodrats. The albumwill befollowed by the new single, BuryMeWith a Scarab, which is out onFebruary 10 and includes a coverof Low’s Laser Beam.Chris T-T is back on the road

this month for a full headlinetour with The Hoodrats.Having just completed a run of

intimate solo shows supporting

Emily Barker and The Red ClayHalo, he says these new dates Xwill be “rock-ya-face-off full-bandassaults bringing the full sonicmagnitude of The Bear to thefore”.The Bear is Chris’s third album

for Xtra Mile Recordings.Recorded with The Hoodrats, hehas departed from thepared-down introspection of2010’s Love Is Not Rescue andinstead created a full-on psychrock record with hints ofSebadoh and early Hold Steady,with a nod to Sixties garage andbands like The Faces andAnimals.Channelling these influences,

Chris and his band taped thealbum close to live, completingsongs in three or four takes justas those bands would have doneback then.The result is an excitingly fresh

sounding record and some of hisbest work to date.

David Marks

31

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FILM

The struggle to deal with the brutal horrors of war

Verdict

Ghosts of the pasthaunt a formerBritish Armyofficer inJonathanTeplitzky’srespectful and

polished drama.Based on the bestselling

autobiography of Eric Lomax,The Railway Man uses apatchwork of flashbacks torecount the writer’s treatment atthe hands of the ImperialJapanese Army after the fall ofSingapore.Director Jonathan Teplitzky

doesn’t shy away from the mostharrowing episodes of Lomax’sstory, including a torturesequence which depictsJapanese officers usingwater-boarding to extractinformation from their prisoner.Another scene, much closer tohome at a Scottish train station,is equally chilling.While Teplitzky’s picture lands

a flurry of punches, it doesn’tquite deliver a knockout blow,even in the final act when Lomaxattempts to confront a Japaneseofficer he holds responsible forthe war raging inside his head.Like the smartly dressed man

at the story’s centre, thedeepest emotions remain tightlybuttoned.When we first meet ardent

train enthusiast Eric (ColinFirth), he is safely ensconced ina first-class carriage, castingnervous glances at the ladysitting opposite.Eventually he strikes up a

conversation with PatriciaWallace (Nicole Kidman) andlearns she is visiting the north ofEngland based onrecommendations from a friend.“With all due respect to your

friend, if all he’s mentioned isvodka, he’s only scratched thesurface of Warrington,” sweetlyblusters Eric.He engineers another meeting

with Patti further up the line andthey fall in love and marry.It quickly becomes clear to

Patti that there is something inEric’s past which is troublinghim, but her efforts to help areswatted aside.“You will never again attempt

to discuss matters which do notconcern you. There’s noobjection, I hope?” Eric firmlytells his wife.So she seeks out best friend

Finlay (Stellan Skarsgard),hoping he can reveal the scarsof the past and ease herspouse’s suffering.“A lot of men went through

something you can’t even beginto imagine,” Finlay tells her.Ultimately, he recounts to

Patti, and us, the horrors facedby young Eric (Jeremy Irvine)and fellow soldiers at theSakamoto Butai camp.The Railway Man chugs back

and forth between 1940sSingapore and 1980 Berwick,

which makes Teplitzky’s film feelfar more sluggish and labouredthat it actually is.Thankfully, Firth and Kidman

are both excellent in emotionallydemanding roles.Irvine is mesmerising as the

younger incarnation of Eric, whois beaten nearly to death by theJapanese after a daring attemptto construct a radio from spareparts.Direction is measured

throughout and the tonesuitably sombre, honouring thememory of countless youngsoldiers who resisted theircaptors, sometimes with theirdying breath.

41From Friday, January 17, 2014 Weekend 41

McQueen’s masterpiece is surely an Oscar shoo-in

Verdict

As a visual artist,Steve McQueenploughed hisown furrow. Hecollected theTurner Prize in1999, ahead of

bookies’ favourite Tracey Emin,for three pieces including avideo work Deadpan in which herecreated the falling house stuntfrom the Buster Keaton silentfilm Steamboat Bill Jr.In 2006, McQueen responded

powerfully to the war in Iraq byrepresenting portraits of fallenBritish soldiers as a sheet ofstamps in Queen And Country.When he made the transition

to feature-length films, McQueenwas equally uncompromising.His bravura debut Hungerrecounted the story of BobbySands (Michael Fassbender)through the eyes of fellow IrishRepublican prisoners, while hisincendiary follow-up, Shame,dealt candidly with sex

addiction. For his third feature,McQueen considers the slavetrade from the perspective of afree black man, who waskidnapped in 1841 and suffered12 years of abuse on theplantations of Louisiana beforehe was reunited with his lovingfamily.Based on the autobiography

of the same name by SolomonNorthup and adapted for thescreen by John Ridley, 12 YearsA Slave is a masterpiece thatsears into the retina with everyartfully composed frame.Solomon (Chiwetel Ejiofor)

lives with his wife Anne (KelseyScott), daughter Margaret(Quvenzhane Wallis) and sonAlonzo (Cameron Zeigler). Anencounter with two seeminglyrespectable gentlemen – MessrsBrown (Scoot McNairy) andHamilton (Taran Killam) –changes Solomon’s life forever.He wakes up in chains and

learns he has been sold into

slavery. Theophilus Freeman(Paul Giamatti) takes delivery ofSolomon and ignores pleas forleniency, snarling, “Mysentimentality stretches thelength of a coin”.Solomon’s first master, Ford

(Benedict Cumberbatch), is kindbut fate delivers the leadcharacter to sadistic EdwinEpps (Michael Fassbender).Epps takes a shine to one of theslave girls, Patsey (LupitaNyong’o), to the chagrin of hisunfeeling wife (Sarah Paulson).Solomon is caught in the

crossfire, finding a means toorchestrate escape with thehelp of an abolitionist calledBass (Brad Pitt), who alsobelieves that “slavery is an evilthat should befall none”.12 Years A Slave is the

deserved front-runner for BestPicture at this year’s Oscars andit would be impossible to denyMcQueen’s film an entiremantelpiece of gold statuettes.

Ejiofor breaks our hearts asan honest, decent man, whoretains his humanity in the faceof unspeakable cruelty. Nyong’ois equally eye-catching in herbig screen debut, whileFassbender simmers withself-loathing.McQueen’s directorial brio

comes to the fore, memorably ina horrific whipping sequenceshot in a single take.It’s not a film that demands

repeat viewings. Like asledgehammer to the solarplexus, once is enough, butMcQueen’s sensitive yetunflinching portrait of sufferingwill stay with us forever.

42

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THEATRE

The Fortnight existsas the first publicstage of a creativeprocess – a safeplace for us toinvite artistswhom we think are

brilliant to come and road-testtheir ideas.”This is Emma Bettridge,

producer of Ferment, Bristol OldVic’s artist development strand,discussing the theatre’s biannualFerment Fortnight – in whichwriters, performers andcompanies supported by BOVshowcase their latestworks-in-progress.The latest Ferment Fortnight

kicks off next week with, as ever,a strong leaning towardsadventurous, playful andthought-provoking theatre.Highlights this time around

includeMinistry of Secrets(Wednesday 22, 6.30pm),Richard Marsh’s comedy aboutcomputer surveillance, billed as“Dr StrangelovemeetsHomeland”.“It’s a satirical take on

WikiLeaks and EdwardSnowden,” explains Marsh,whose play Skittleswascommissioned for Radio 4 andwho co-wrote and performed in

the Fringe First-winning DirtyGreat Love Story.“It takes a wry swipe at our

vast dependence on machinesand systems most of us don’tunderstand, yet have to rely on –despite it being quite clear theGovernment is fervently readingover our shoulder.”We also like the look of The

Magic Toyshop (Wednesday 29,6.30pm), a script-in-hand readingof Invisible Ink’s adaptation ofthe 1967 magic-realist novel bythe great Angela Carter.Carter’s sinister fairytale tells

the story of Melanie, a young girlwho is forced to leave hercomfortable rural home to livewith relatives she has never met– including Aunt Margaret, mutesince her wedding day, musicalFrancie, and volatile Finn.Brooding over it all is Uncle

Phillip, who loves only thelife-sized puppets he creates inhis workshop. This one isdirected by the brilliant SitaCalvert-Ennals, whose CVincludes the Associate Directorpost on Theatre Royal Bath’smemorable Ben Hur.Another local talent for whom

we have a lot of time isperformer/musician SamHalmarack, who brings his latest

A brew of new and exciting ideas at the Old Vic

work-in-progressMorris,Constance And The Phantom Zooto Ferment on the final day(Friday 31, 6.30pm).Halmarack’s idea follows two

children and their terrifyingjourney to a phantom zoo:audiences will be able to givetheir own insights into how itshould develop.Elsewhere, Bristol

performance duo Clerke and Joy,who describe their work as“funny and deadly serious,everyday and over-the-top,smart but not highbrow” will beintroducing The Stillness Of TheStorm That Never Came At All(Friday 24, 8.15pm), a piece thatexplores their experiences ofIndia, where they spent aresidency last year in the city ofMumbai.Salisbury performance duo

Two Destination Language drawon their own experiences as,respectively, a rhythm gymnastand bantam league baseballplayer forManpower (Thursday23, 8.15pm, pictured), an enquiryinto manhood, male icons,heavy machinery and more.And, fresh from speaking at

the National Theatre,writer/director Lucy Kerbel willbe discussing her new book 100

Great Plays For Women (Friday24, 6.30pm).“Women buy the majority of

theatre tickets, make up half theacting profession and are oftenthe largest cohort of any youththeatre or drama club,” Lucyexplains. “And yet they havetraditionally beenunder-represented on stage. Mybook seeks to address this gap.”Emma concludes: “Ferment is

the place where we seek toenable artists we are inspired by.This is done in various ways –we host development weeks,residencies and see piecesthrough to full production.“This time, as ever, we’ve

scoured the South West to findthe artists who are bringing thenext wave of ideas to thetheatrical plate – and we lovewhat we have found.“Heading into Ferment’s

fourth year, we are reallypleased with how ingrained weare in the national theatrelandscape. 2013 saw premieresof Ferment-developed work atthe Edinburgh Fringe, on theBritish Council showcase and atthe National Theatre. This yearwe start with a lovely selectionof new ideas, from Fermentregulars to unfamiliar faces.”

“

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47

EXHIBITION

Joëlle TuerlinckxWOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS?Until Sunday 16 March 2014

Exhibition spaces open Tuesday–Sunday11am–6pm, free admission

Visit arnolfini.org.uk for Christmas opening hours

Arnolfini16 Narrow Quay, Bristol BS1 4QAarnolfini.org.uk@arnolfiniarts#JoelleT

(Image left) Joëlle Tuerlinckx,WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS?,Arnolfini, installation view, 2013. Photo Stuart Whipps(Image right) Joëlle Tuerlinckx:Modèle originale, 2009

Supported by

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50

‘My disability leads to more engaging street portraiture’

ART

Iwas so keen to getstarted, I sold my bicycleto buy my first camera…”David Constantine’sinterest in photographybegan as a teenager in thelate 1970s.

The adolescent David startedto take pictures everywhere hewent, soon developing into anaccomplished amateur. Theseearly years of experimentationenabled the Bristol snapper toestablish strong foundations,which have proved invaluable inhis 35 years of photography.Soon, though, came a big

change to both David’s life andbudding career.Following a diving accident in

Australia in 1982, David wasparalysed from the shouldersdown and left with no grip in hishands.Unable to pick up his camera,

he gave up photography for ayear – but, during this enforcedlay-off, realised that he was still“seeing” pictures.“I made up my mind that

being in a wheelchair should notprevent me from pursuing my

passion,” David explains now.“I began to think about how I

could continue – and decidedthat all I needed was someadaptations to my camera andwheelchair.”Exactly a year after his injury,

David wrote to cameramanufacturers Olympus andasked if they could help with hisplans. They replied positively –and so began the next phase ofDavid’s photographic career.“The fascinating thing was thatall the problems I foresaw withmy photography after becominga wheelchair user eventuallyturned into advantages,” hesays.“I thought I had lost so much

– my spontaneity and speed, theability to photograph peoplewithout being seen, the ability toget to difficult locations and,most importantly, to start earlyin the morning.“And yes, I am now slower

and more obvious to mysubjects… and I need help withmy gear and chair. Rather than ahindrance, though, thesechanges have simply forced me

to develop different skills.”David uses both conventional

film and digital formats – film forhis more personal work, digitalfor the images he produces onhis travels for the Bristol-basedcharity Motivation, whichsupports people with mobilitydisabilities around the world.A selection of his striking,

revealing images are on show atthe Room 212 gallery onGloucester Road until the end ofthe month, and David will betalking about his methods at thegallery on Friday, January 24(see listings).His own work focuses mainly

on people. “I tend to workmainly in the street, and oftenwill stop and ask people fortheir picture. The vast majoritysay yes, but if they aren’t keen Ijust move on. I occasionally geta more forthright ‘no’, though –and I have had the odd stonethrown at me!”He rises early, favouring early

mornings and evenings, whenthe light is at its best.“My street wanderings are

completely random. I just set off

from wherever I’m staying andturn left or right depending onwhere the light is coming from.“My aim is to portray people

sensitively in their ownenvironment, using the light tomy best advantage. I always usedaylight, and I still lovetraditional film for itssensitivity.”In fact, David believes that his

street portraiture is probablyenhanced by his disability.“It means that when I

approach people and sit in frontof them to photograph them,they tend to stare at me. Thisoften makes for a very engaginglook in my work.”His photography has led him

into many fascinating situations– and one or two difficult ones.“I often get invited into people’shouses for tea or just to talk. Ihave broken my leg in Mexico,up a steep hill between twovillages, and I’ve been accusedby the Taliban of being ajournalist during the time theycontrolled Afghanistan and hadbanned photography of thehuman form!”

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51

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BOOKS

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Top Gear starRichard Hammondis backing a booklaunch in a bid tohelp youngstersbetter understandbrain injuries and

their hidden effects.The BBC presenter suffered a

serious brain injury himself whenhewas involved in a high speedcar crash. More recently, retiredFormula One driverMichaelSchumacher was injured in askiing accident.Richard said he is proud to

lend his support to thepublications, which are nowavailable and he has alsomadean exclusive audio-book toaccompany one of the books.Talking about the creation of

the publications, which includesa parents’ handbook and twochildren’s books, he said: “This isa wonderful, colourful way forfamilies touched by brain injuryto explore the issues theymayface.”The children’s books are aimed

at different age groups and aredesigned to empower childrenand help them in their

rehabilitation journey.They have also been designed

to encourage empathy among allyoungsters towards otherchildren or siblings whomay beliving with a brain injury.Heads Up, Tim-Tron explains

acquired brain injury to youngreaders of primary school age,through the story of amischievous little robot, whobumps his headwhilst playing.The book, which is

accompanied by Richard’saudio-book, won the prestigiousUnited KingdomAcquired BrainInjury Forum innovation awardand has earned enthusiasticreviews for its clever portrayal ofbrain injury. It was also chosen asThe Book Trust’s Bookmark Bookof theMonth.Medikidz: What’s up with

Tamara? is aimed at slightly olderchildren and teenagers. Thecomic book is based around areal teenager, dealing withacquired brain injury (ABI).Readers follow superheroTamara as she is whisked off toMediland for an encounter withMedikidz.Acquired brain injury in

children: a parents' handbook isaimed at parents of childrenwhohave ABI.The books have been

developed by The Children’sTrust, the UK’s leading charity forchildrenwith acquired braininjury, of which RichardHammond is Vice President. Thepublications have been charitablyfunded and are available for orderfor a handling charge of £3.50 forone book and £1.50 for eachsubsequent book fromwww.thechildrenstrust.org.uk/books.

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58

A paint-on sense of drama and history

The dark mutedcolours of thissnug sitting roomin Clifton lend amoodyatmosphereinspired by the

past and reminiscent of theVictorian era.I love the passionate depth of

colour on the walls – a Marston& Langinger’s paint in RomanBronze. It achieves a sort ofseriousness and a warmingfeeling, while also providing anexcellent cover for all thearchitectural detail in the room.The paint contains lots of

green and a wealth of brownthrough Marston’s clever mixingand the bronzing effect adds aquality and weight to all ittouches.This paint colour was integral

to the design of the roombecause there is an awful lot ofcheating and faux effects thatare typical of the Victorians –and a lick of paint helps to holdthe whole theatrical picturetogether.The walls are panelled with

cost-effective timber and then

painted to match the plaster sothat no one can see the join.Similarly, the built-in tallcupboards and alcove wereconstructed in-situ usingutilitarian materials, but broughtto life with final decoration.Housing a hidden TV screen

behind the abstract painting, theshell, with a picture light above,has been aged with dark paint topresent an antique bronzeappearance too.Everything ties together, yet

nothing is as it seems.The dark fire surround was

salvaged and cut down toimprove its proportions – for theroom needed to feel snug, notoverly formal.Previously, there was no fire

surround, simply a Seventieshole-in-the-wall. Once covered ina typical white gloss and lookinglike a nasty pastiche, we decidedto reuse the timber surroundbecause of its lovely corbels.By cutting the width and so

giving it height, it became amore elegant piece. To make itseem more bespoke andindividual, we painted it in anOff-Black Eggshell from Farrow &

Ball to achieve a dark slateeffect that added age andhistory. This included themantle shelf that was polishedto become even more like stone.The dark blue pigment in the

Off-Black complements thegreen within the Roman Bronzeon the wall and so the fireplaceappears to be made out of amuch plusher material thanpainted timber.The Victorians would be

rejoicing at the success of sucha simple paint trick.The elaborate cornice in this

room and papered ceiling wereleft unchanged due to the GradeII status of the building.Cleaned up and restored, then

painted a simple Slipper Satinsoft grey/white from Farrow &Ball, the unusual decorativecornice gives a lovely lace collareffect to the Roman Bronzewalls.The furnishings, materials and

fabrics were also selected to setoff the paint colours.Black as an accent colour

looks especially authentic as itpresents an ebonised andlacquered finish typical of the

Victorian period.The cane settle, though Arts

and Crafts in style, adds to thequirkiness of the interior.The red Persian rug and velvet

upholstered seat and sofa softenthe formality and their rich andvibrant tones lend yet morecomfortable and sumptuousstyle to the room. The roombecomes more artistic andBohemian this way anddeliciously snug.All in all, the theatrical effect

of a period room is suggestedthrough colour and the way inwhich that colour changes all ittouches. Never underestimate apaint and finishes effect; it’s acost-effective way of achievinginterior changes.

Gill Richardson is one half ofClifton-based husband and wife

team, GoodchildInteriors, specialisingin architecturaldesign. For moredetails, visitwww.goodchildinteriors.net, orcall 0117 9279475.

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Advertisement feature John Lewis in Bristol is offering a new service helpingcustomers to cut gas and electricity bills. Kate Edser talks to the store’s energy

efficiency advisor, Tom Bardell

SAVE ENERGY AND MONEY

With energy prices on anupwards spiral, weshould all be concernedabout the amount of gasand electricity we use inour homes and, more tothe point, how we can

cut our bills. While some of us will have avague idea of the measures we can take toensure our houses are as energy-efficient aspossible, with extra insulation for example,there’s no substitute for expert advice.In Bristol, householders can now turn to

the trusted name of John Lewis, whoseexperts can identify practical steps towardsa more energy-efficient home.The branch of John Lewis at The Mall,

Cribbs Causeway, is the only one in thecountry offering the service.It involves a survey of customers’ homes,

which results in a report giving advice onenergy-saving measures, what each will cost,and how much money can be saved as aresult. Customers can then take advantage of

technical design and installation services ifthey wish to, all managed by John Lewisexperts. Alternatively, enter the store’scompetition (see page 2) for a chance to winup to £2,000 worth of energy efficiencyservices.The man charged with carrying out the

surveys is John Lewis’s energy advisor, TomBardell, who explains: “I carry out a homeenergy assessment so I can give expert andimpartial advice about different thingspeople can do to their properties. They mayinclude installing new, more energy efficientequipment, but there might also be differentways to use your existing heating system.“Some things that I suggest might be items

that John Lewis offers, such as loft andcavity wall insulation, heating systems, solarpanels and smart controls for these devices,and other things might not be stocked byJohn Lewis, such as under-floor insulationand secondary-glazed windows.“Normally I have a tour from the home

owner, so I get my bearings, then I go

outside to look from the front and the backand then I take measurements so I canmeasure the floor area. I do a fewcalculations so I can work out what we callthe ‘heat loss perimeter’, which is area ofwall that is exposed to the outside.“Then I’ll go around each room and look

at the way the room is heated and the lights,measure the window area and look at thetype of windows and see whether they aredraft-proofed, and the sources of ventilation,like chimneys and extractor fans, which areall ways in which heat is lost.“I look also in the loft, to check the

insulation, and I look at the heating system.My last questions are about howhouseholders’ use energy and I wouldnormally ask to see their energy bills for thepast year too.“I can split up the energy use into lighting,

appliances, heating and so on, so it givespeople a breakdown about how they areusing their energy. Out of that comerecommendations as to what they can do

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and how much they would save on theirbills by having different measures installed.”It’s not just an audit of the property, buthow you use energy.”Tom came to my terraced Victorian

cottage in Staple Hill and arrived on timeand carrying a selection of equipment.This included a ladder, which he used to

inspect loft spaces, a clever laser device tomeasure the size of rooms and windows,and an iPad into which he entered thestatistics.Friendly, informative, and quietly

confident, Tom spent about an hour and ahalf in my two-bedroom house, thoughsurveys of larger houses might take up totwo hours. After an initial tour, I left himalone to get on with his job, his unobtrusivepresence and good manners putting meentirely at ease. With obvious enthusiasm,Tom answered my questions clearly, andwithout jargon so I could easily understand.A couple of days later, a detailed, six-page

PDF document dropped into my inbox. In itis all the technical information, which is wellpresented and easy to understand, and apersonal statement from Tom which read:“As we discussed, the house is quite snugand warm already. Being a mid terrace, itdoes not lose heat to the outside as quicklyas houses with more exposed external wall.“You also have a new, highly efficient

heating system, which means that you only

burn the minimum amount of gas requiredto bring the house to temperature.“However, there are improvements you

can make to improve your property furtherand I have included these in the report. Ialso recommend that you get the insulationin the rear loft rearranged as it is not laidevenly. Moreover, you could insulate anddraft proof both loft hatches to minimiseheat loss and draughts this way.”Tom is pleased that my radiators all have

thermostatic controls and I’ve just had anew combi boiler fitted and the heatingsystem flushed, so there’s nothing to bedone on that score (thank heavens – it wasquite expensive enough!). But Tom says Ishould invest in low-energy light bulbs at aminimal cost of £30.On a slightly larger scale, he suggests

cavity wall insulation for the newer part ofthe house (the original part has solid walls)and points out that, although both the loftspaces are insulated, both hatches are not.He estimates that, if I follow his advice, I’llsave about £100 a year.

To book an appointment with the store’senergy efficiency advisor, or find out moreabout the service, including theself-assessment energy efficiency calculator,visit www.johnlewis.com/energyefficiency.Alternatively, call 0117 9581 870, 9am to 5pm,Monday to Friday, to talk to the advisor.

Heating and hot water: John Lewiscan advise on how to make the mostof the latest technology in a way thatfits with your home, lifestyle andbudget, from the size of radiators toa boiler and smart heatingthermostats and, if required, install afull central heating system. Boilersaccount for around 60 per cent ofannual energy bills, so efficiency iskey. The latest smart heating controldevices allow you to control andprogramme your heating and hotwater from your smartphone,wherever you are. The devices knowhow long your home takes to warmup and cool down, so only heat itwhen needed. They also allow you toset different temperatures fordifferent times of the day.

Cavity wall insulation: This is thequickest and most effective way youcan make your home warmer andcheaper to heat because wallstypically account for about 33 percent of lost heat. John Lewis takescare of everything from estimating toinstallation, which requires a seriesof holes to be drilled in the outside ofthe house and insulation materialinjected into the cavity, so there is nodisruption inside the house. This sortof insulation should pay for itselfwithin two-three years.

Loft insulation: A poorly insulatedloft can waste up to a quarter of ahome’s heat. John Lewis takes careof everything from estimating tofitting and can also clear your loftand lay insulated boards, to createmore storage space, while beingenergy efficient.

Solar panels: Also known as solarphotovoltaics (PV), these panelscapture the sun’s energy and convertit into electricity. John Lewis advisorswill be able to tell you if solar panelsare suitable for your home and, if so,arrange a full technical survey anddesign and manage the installation.Sunlight is free, so once you’ve paidfor the initial installation yourelectricity costs will be reduced andyou’ll be paid for the electricity yougenerate through the Government’sFeed-In Tariff.

Low-energy lighting: There are twomain alternatives – CFLs (compactfluorescents) and LEDs (lightemitting diodes). The latter are themore expensive option, but savemore money in the long term. Theeasiest way to save on lighting billsis to turn off lights when they’re notin use.

John Lewis’ energyefficiency services

include:

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Have your say in creating a feel-good garden

Do you have plansfor your gardenbut don’t knowwhere to begin?In myexperience, thegarden owner

plays an important role in thedesign process because you livewith your garden andunderstand it intimately.Are there particular problems

to deal with, such as poordrainage, too much shade or thelack of a seating area? And doesthe space meet your needs?It might be that the garden

suited you a few years ago, butthe arrival of children – andtheir bikes and scooters – haschanged it from a sun-bathinghaven into a mud bath?When we start the design

process, the most importantthing is to talk to our client andreally understand what isrequired from their outdoorspace. Only then can we canbegin to make solid plans.

One of the key starting pointsis to established the aspect; inother words, what directiondoes the garden face, and whenduring the day, and where, doessunlight fall?This will affect where seating,

planting and play areas can bepositioned.Another thing to consider is

how to move around the garden.This is important in both

practical and aesthetic senses.Paths can be laid out in a waythat connects A to B, while alsoinfluencing how parts of thegarden are viewed.Other important things to look

at include unity – does the styleof the materials, plants andcolours go with, andcomplement, the style, periodand colour of your house?Also, are there any views you

would like to hide or expose?And is the garden balanced?Sometimes all the tall, or“heavy” features are gathered onone side, for example.

Meanwhile, gardens of newhomes can often be flat, so itmakes sense to create a heightdynamic, with structures likepergolas, or maybe through aninvestment in a semi-maturetree.A focal point can be important

in drawing the eye and pullingthe design together.This could be anything from a

sculpture to a stand-out plant,or water feature.Finally, planting is essential to

a beautiful garden and reallydetermines the level of futuremaintenance. If you don’t knowmuch about plants, then someresearch would be wise.The trick is to choose the

right plant for each place. Forexample, you want to avoidcreating “blobs,” where naturallylarge shrubs are cut to size,losing their natural form andengulfing all the other plants.Sometimes it’s best to go to a

small garden centre and ask thestaff for advice about the

fully-grown size of a plant beforedetermining where to position it.The saving grace about plantingis that if you don’t get it rightfirst time, you can move thingsaround and experiment.We have noticed that we are

developing a distinct style asdesigners, based upon ourpremise that, where possible, westrive to make gardens thatmeet the needs of the people weare designing for and we try towork with the existing naturallandscape. For instance, we findthat a bank instead of a wall canoften look really natural,support a change in level andcost a lot less than a retainingwall. We love to create flowinggardens that feel good to be in.

If you have any questions aboutgarden design, or other gardeningissues, contact Ali at SecretGarden, via email [email protected], orvisit www.secretgardenweb.co.ukfor more information.

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You’ll find Filini at Radisson Blu HotelBroad Quay, BristolBS1 4BY, United Kingdomtel +44 (0) 117 934 9500www.radissonblu.com/hotel-bristolwww.filinirestaurantbristol.co.uk

ContemporaryItalian diningat Filini bar & restaurant,Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol

Fresh and mouthwatering dishes fromthe heart of Italy and Sardinia

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18-19 Elton Road, Clevedon, Somerset, BS21 7EH www.hawthornsretirement.co.uk

Retirement dreaming?Wake up to the benefits of renting at ‘The Hawthorns’

FINDING a practical solution which matches thequality of your retirement living dream may beeasier said than done – and renting may notautomatically spring to the top of your list of

possible solutions.

However, increasing numbers of UK retirees arediscovering what their counterparts in America andAustralia found out a few years back – that rentingyour retirement home offers many advantages over

continued property ownership.

Even more are discovering how you can continue tobenefit from both!

Hawthorns Retirement has brought its highlysuccessful American formula for retirement livingto the UK at Eastbourne, Clevedon and Braintree.These developments, in a nutshell, offer you

continued independent living, none of the worriesof home ownership and total flexibility to change

your lifestyle at a month’s notice shouldcircumstances dictate. And all this is achieved byrenting your retirement home at The Hawthorns.

Your monthly rental includes all your manymonthly expenses including all your meals andsnacks, utility bills, housekeeping, maintenance –even a free mini-bus to take you to the shops andback. If you sit down and calculate what you arespending on all those items living in your ownhome, the rental fees appears very reasonable

indeed.

As well as the financial argument, life at TheHawthorns offers the added benefits of security,companionship and the flexibility of handing injust one month’s notice of your decision to leave.

Whilst many residents fund this idyllic retirementlifestyle from the proceeds of the sale of theirhome, many others opt to rent out their own

property and fund their new-found lifestyle fromthe rental income, maintaining their property as

part of their estate.

Maybe you should wake up to the benefits ofrenting!

Call 01275 790060 or pop in and visit us at: 18-19 Elton Road,Clevedon, North Somerset, BS21 7EH

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 SaturdayKitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 The GoodCook (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus(S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD).1.00 BBC News; Regional News andWeather (S,HD). 1.15 Live Snooker: TheMasters (S,HD). The first semi-final fromAlexandra Palace, London. 4.30 Final Score(S,HD). 5.15 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather (S,HD). 5.35 Dynamo:Magician Impossible (S,HD).

7.00 The Voice UK (S,HD). 2/14.See Choices Above.

6.15 Reflex (S,HD). 2/6. Shane Richiehosts the game show in whichfamilies from Blackpool andCarlisle battle each other in aseries of physical and mentalchallenges.

8.20 The National Lottery: WhoDares Wins (S,HD). 3/8. NickKnowles hosts the game showin which two pairs of strangerscompete by listing as much asthey know about givensubjects. Including the Lottoand Thunderball draws.

9.10 Casualty (S,HD). 21/48. Newdoctor Cal goes to the rescue ofa girl in a limo hangingprecariously off a bridge, whileEthan uncovers the truth abouta student whose sight isendangered by flying glass.

10.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).10.20 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary

Lineker presents highlights ofthe latest Premier Leagueclashes, including Arsenal vFulham at the Emirates Stadiumand Liverpool v Aston Villa atAnfield. Followed by NationalLottery Update.

11.45 The Football League Show(S). Manish Bhasin presentshighlights and all the goalsfrom today’s fixtures in theChampionship, League One andLeague Two, including LeedsUnited v Leicester City.

1.05 Weatherview (S,HD). 1.10 BBCNews (S,HD).

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6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 DinnerDate (R,S). 10.30 Murder, She Wrote(R,S,HD). 11.30 ITV News and Weather (S).11.45 Show Me the Telly (R,S,HD). 12.45Film: Columbo: The Murder of a RockStar (S) (1991). Crime drama, starring PeterFalk.●●● 2.45 Midsomer Murders(R,S,HD). 4.45 Regional News (S). 4.55 ITVNews and Weather (S). 5.10 Film:Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). Drama, withthe voice of Steve Carell.●●●●

6.15 The American Football Show: Roadto the Super Bowl (R,S). 7.05 Trans WorldSport (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S). 9.00Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.30How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.30The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11.25 TheSimpsons (R,S). 12.25 The Taste (R,S,HD).The contestants make a prawn cocktail.1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S). Live coveragefrom Ascot and Haydock Park. 4.00 ComeDine with Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake! 10.10 Power Rangers:Megaforce (S,HD). 10.45 Slugterra(R,S,HD). 11.10 Access. 11.20 CelebrityBig Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 12.40World’s Worst Holiday Horrors (R,S). 1.45Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 2.45 Film:Columbo: Murder Under Glass (S) (1978).Crime drama, starring Peter Falk.●●●●4.10 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 5.10Diagnosis Murder (R,S). Part two of two.Mark finds himself in grave danger.

7.00 Splash! (S,HD). 3/7. See ChoicesAbove.

6.05 News (S).6.30 Speed with Guy Martin

(R,S,HD). 2/4. The racer attemptsto set the world record forriding a motorcycle on water.

6.10 Mr & Mrs Murder (S,HD). 3/13.Charlie and Nicola investigatethe murder of a fashiondesigner. Australian comedydrama, starring Shaun Micallefand Kat Stewart.

10.45 ITV News and Weather (S);Weather.

12.45 Jackpot247 Viewers are offered thechance to participate in live interactivegaming from the comfort of their sofas,with an entertaining mix of roulette-wheelspins and lively chat from the presentingteam. Featuring a variety of prizes andpromotions. 3.00 Ladette to Lady:Australia (R,S). 3.45 ITV Nightscreen(HD). Text-based information service.

7.30 Britain’s Killer Storms(R,S,HD). Feature-lengthdocumentary-drama telling thestory of five major storms thatbattered the nation during2012. Each of them carried adeadly threat, from hurricane-force winds to flash flooding,and this programme hears frompeople who survived them. Itcombines archive footage withreconstruction and satelliteimages to piece together howthese extreme weather eventswere formed, what made themunique and the impact they had.

9.00 Hostages (S,HD). 2/15. SeeChoices Above.

10.00 Knowing (S,HD) (2009).Widowed astrophysicist JohnKoestler decodes a page ofnumbers revealing the dates ofpast and future globaldisasters. While racing to averta succession of catastrophes, herealises the numbers pointtoward a final apocalypse.Mystery thriller, starring Nicolas

12.20 Film: Panic Room (S,HD) (2002). Amother and daughter become trapped in aspecially constructed sealed room whenburglars break into their home and refuseto leave. Thriller, with Jodie Foster andKristen Stewart.●●● 2.15 Southland(R,S,HD). A gang war erupts across the city.3.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or NoDeal (R,S,HD).

7.00 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation (R,S). 7/17.A student falls to her death.

7.45 NCIS (R,S). 5/24. The body of alance corporal is discovered inan empty house.

8.40 NCIS (R,S). 6/24. Kidnappersstrike on Halloween, woundinga marine sergeant and snatchinghis daughter – leaving the teammembers wondering whyanyone would try to extortmoney from someone on such amodest salary.

9.35 5 News Weekend (S,HD).9.45 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).

16/22. Highlights of the famousresidents’ past 24 hours underthe all-seeing eye of BigBrother, including a secondchance to see Friday’s eviction.

10.45 Celebrity Big Brother’s Biton the Psych (HD). Rylan Clarkis joined by a panel led byformer celebrity housemateCarol McGiffin and Iain Lee, aswell as psychologists, body-language experts and celebrityfans, to analyse the behaviourof the housemates.

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Baby Face Brides (R,S,HD).4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big(R,S). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’sHelpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S).5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hana’sHelpline (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.45 Film:Sodom and Gomorrah (S) (1962).●●●9.10 Life on Earth (R,S,HD). 10.05 Life onEarth (R,S,HD). 11.00 Fred Dibnah’s Madein Britain (R,S). 11.30 Great BritishRailway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.00 TheGreat Sport Relief Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.00The Great Sport Relief Bake Off (R,S,HD).2.00 The A to Z of TV Cooking (S). 2.45Film: Ensign Pulver (S) (1964).●● 4.30Live Snooker: The Masters (S,HD).

7.00 Live Snooker: The Masters(S,HD). Hazel Irvine presentscoverage of the second semi-final from Alexandra Palace,London, where the line-up forthe final will be confirmed.Third seed Mark Selby prevailedover 12th seed Graeme Dottwith a 6-5 victory in last year’sconcluding semi-final, earninghim a chance to claim the titlein a contest against NeilRobertson. With commentaryby Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty,Stephen Hendry and JohnVirgo, and analysis by SteveDavis and John Parrott.Subsequent programmessubject to change.

6.00 Flog It! (R,S). 39/60. PaulMartin meets people hoping tomake a profit from theirantiques in Derby.

10.30 QI XL (S,HD). 16/16. See ChoicesAbove.

11.15 Howl (S,HD) (2010). Fact-baseddrama recreating the obscenitytrial of beat poet AllenGinsberg alongside ananimated adaptation of hiscounter-culture epic. StarringJames Franco.●●●

11.00 Burn After Reading (S,HD)(2008). See Choices Above.●●●●

Cage, Rose Byrne and ChandlerCanterbury. See Choices Above.●●

12.35 Snooker Extra (S,HD). Hazel Irvinepresents extended highlights of theopening semi-final of the Masters atAlexandra Palace in London. Withcommentary by Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty,Stephen Hendry and John Virgo, andanalysis by Steve Davis and John Parrott.2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes.

after

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8.30 Take Me Out (S,HD). 3/8. SeeChoices Above.

9.45 The Jonathan Ross Show(S,HD). 3/10. The host is joinedby comedian and actor RussellBrand, X Factor host DermotO’Leary, Birds of a Feather starLinda Robson and musicianJames Blunt, who alsoperforms in the studio.

Casualty, 9.10pm QI XL, 10.30pm The Jonathan Ross Show, 9.45pm Speed with Guy Martin, 6.30pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 7pm

TAKE ME OUT8.30pm, ITVPaddy McGuinness presents as a PE teacherfrom Scunthorpe, a farmer from Inverness, aBirmingham student and a Team GBtaekwondo athlete disembark from the lovelift in the hope of impressing 30 single women.All four will be turning on the charm to land adate on the Isle of Fernandos.

SPLASH!7pm, ITVMusician Paul Young,TOWIE star Dan Osborne,comic Patrick Monahan,model Danielle Lloyd andMP Penny Mordaunt vie forthe next two semi-finalspots under the tutelage of Tom Daley.

QI XL10.30pm, BBC2Extended edition of the comedy quiz onwhich actress and TV and radio presenterLiza Tarbuck, comedienne Susan Calman andbroadcaster Sandi Toksvig join regularpanellist Alan Davies. Host Stephen Fry asks arange of questions on a kaleidoscope oftopics beginning with ‘k’.

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Coronation Street (HD).9.05 Emmerdale (HD). 12.00Film: Curly Sue (HD) (1991).●●2.00 Film: The Sisterhood of theTraveling Pants (HD) (2005).Comedy drama, starring AmberTamblyn.●●● 4.20 You’ve BeenFramed! (R). 5.20 You’ve BeenFramed! (R). 5.50 You’ve BeenFramed! (R).

11.35 The MagalufWeekender (R,HD). SeeChoices Above.

12.35 Film: Duplicity (HD) (2009).Two former spies with a romanticpast together go head to headworking in counter-intelligence forrival multi-national corporations.Thriller, with Julia Roberts andClive Owen. Including FYI Daily.●●● 2.55 Teleshopping 5.55ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

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THE VOICE UK7pm, BBC1Emma Willis andMarvin Humes front thesecond round of the all-singing, chair-spinningtalent contest, withcoaches Kylie Minogue,Tom Jones, Will.i.am and Ricky Wilson.

FILMRATINGS●●●●●Excellent●●●●Very good●●●Good●●Average●Poor(R) repeat(S) subtitles(HD) high-definition

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6.00 Milkshake! 10.10 Power Rangers:Megaforce (S,HD). 10.45 Slugterra(R,S,HD). 11.10 Access. 11.20 CelebrityBig Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 12.40World’s Worst Holiday Horrors (R,S). 1.45Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 2.45 Film:Columbo: Murder Under Glass (S) (1978).Crime drama, starring Peter Falk.●●●●4.10 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 5.10Diagnosis Murder (R,S). Part two of two.Mark finds himself in grave danger.

7.00 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation (R,S). 7/17.A student falls to her death.

7.45 NCIS (R,S). 5/24. The body of alance corporal is discovered inan empty house.

8.40 NCIS (R,S). 6/24. Kidnappersstrike on Halloween, woundinga marine sergeant and snatchinghis daughter – leaving the teammembers wondering whyanyone would try to extortmoney from someone on such amodest salary.

9.35 5 News Weekend (S,HD).9.45 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).

16/22. Highlights of the famousresidents’ past 24 hours underthe all-seeing eye of BigBrother, including a secondchance to see Friday’s eviction.

Casualty, 9.10pm QI XL, 10.30pm The Jonathan Ross Show, 9.45pm Speed with Guy Martin, 6.30pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 7pm

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Coronation Street (HD).9.05 Emmerdale (HD). 12.00Film: Curly Sue (HD) (1991).●●2.00 Film: The Sisterhood of theTraveling Pants (HD) (2005).Comedy drama, starring AmberTamblyn.●●● 4.20 You’ve BeenFramed! (R). 5.20 You’ve BeenFramed! (R). 5.50 You’ve BeenFramed! (R).

6.20 You’ve Been Framed!(R). Harry Hill narrates aselection of camcordercalamities.

6.50 The Incredible Hulk(HD) (2008). A bungledexperiment causes ascientist to turn into amonster whenever hegets angry. He travelsthe world seeking a curefor his condition, whilea ruthless general isdetermined to capturehim and use thecreature as a weapon.Comic-book adventure,starring Edward Norton,Liv Tyler, Tim Roth andWilliam Hurt. IncludingFYI Daily.●●●

11.35 The MagalufWeekender (R,HD). SeeChoices Above.

12.35 Film: Duplicity (HD) (2009).Two former spies with a romanticpast together go head to headworking in counter-intelligence forrival multi-national corporations.Thriller, with Julia Roberts andClive Owen. Including FYI Daily.●●● 2.55 Teleshopping 5.55ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 The World Is NotEnough (HD) (1999).James Bond is assignedto protect the heiress ofan oil dynasty after herfather is killed in abombing at MI6headquarters. The attackis the work of aninfamous terrorist who isunable to feel pain aftersurviving a gunshot tohis head, and who nowintends to destroy theworld’s supply of oil. Spyadventure, starringPierce Brosnan, RobertCarlyle, Sophie Marceauand Robbie Coltrane.Including FYI Daily.●●●●

6.05 How I Met YourMother (R,HD).

6.35 How I Met YourMother (R,HD). Tedmisses a job interview.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 Make Itor Break It (R,HD). 7.10 UglyBetty (R,HD). 7.55 Charmed (R).8.55 Glee (R,HD). 10.10 Rules ofEngagement (R,HD). 12.35 How IMet Your Mother (R,HD). 1.35Rude(ish) Tube (R). 2.30 The BigBang Theory (R,HD). 3.30 Film:Dragonball Evolution (HD)(2009).●● 5.10 Rude(ish) Tube(R). 5.40 Rude(ish) Tube (R).

7.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Leonard, Raj andHoward kick Sheldonoff their quiz team.

7.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD).

8.00 The Tomorrow People(R,HD). Stephen appealsfor the group to helphim as Ultra tries toprobe his brain, butwhen John rebuffs therequest, Cara secretlygoes to his aid.

12.10 Rude Tube (R,HD). AlexZane presents a countdown ofinternet stars. 1.15 My Mad FatDiary (R,HD). 2.15 The RickyGervais Show (R,HD). 2.45 TheRicky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.10The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD).3.40 Glee (R,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty(R,HD).

9.00 Top Gun (HD) (1986). Anarrogant pilot’s maverickflying skills earn him aplace in an elite US Navyschool, where he comesinto conflict with afellow student and fallsfor his civilian instructor.A tragedy in the airthreatens to end hismilitary career – until aninternational incidentoffers him a chance toredeem himself. Aerialaction adventure,starring Tom Cruise,Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer,Anthony Edwards andTom Skerritt.●●●

6.00 All Aboard: East CoastTrains (R,S,HD).

6.55 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).Grampa revisits his daysas a feared TV wrestler.

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 7.00 Glee(R,S,HD). 8.00 The FantasyFootball Club. 9.00 GameChangers. 10.00 Soccer AM.12.00 WWE Superstars. 1.00Futurama (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S,HD).3.30 Futurama (R,S,HD). 4.00David Attenborough’s Kingdomof Plants (R,S,HD). 5.00 InsideRAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD).

7.25 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).Flanders is plagued withguilt after punchingHomer.

7.55 Jumanji (1995). A manwho has been trapped

inside a mysteriousjungle board game for26 years is eventuallyfreed when two childrenstart to play it.Unfortunately, he arriveswith a rampaging hordeof animals on his heels,leaving only onesolution – to finish thegame he started allthose years ago. Fantasyadventure, starringRobin Williams, KirstenDunst and Bonnie Hunt.●●●●

10.00 The Kumars (R,HD). Thehome-made family chatshow returns to TV aftera seven-year break, withaspiring star Sanjeev stillat the helm, whileGrandma and dadAshwin join in with thequestioning.

12.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 1.00Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance(R,S,HD). Following police officersin Hammersmith and Fulham. 2.00Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S).3.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance(R,S). 4.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD).

11.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD).The Tactical Aid Groupraids a flat.

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Asong about The Billinspired by MaryPoppins.

6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

6.15 Jeeves and Wooster 8.20Jeeves and Wooster 9.35 Jeevesand Wooster 10.45 Jeeves andWooster 11.55 One Foot in theGrave 12.35 One Foot in theGrave 1.15 One Foot in theGrave 1.55 One Foot in theGrave 2.35 The Vicar of Dibley3.25 The Black Adder 4.15 TheBlack Adder 5.00 Harry Hill’s TVBurp 5.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

7.00 Blackadder II. Abloodthirsty bishopmenaces Edmund.

7.40 Blackadder II. Edmundis challenged to adrinking contest.

8.20 Blackadder II Edmundand Lord Melchett arekidnapped by a masterof disguise, but theQueen decides to payonly one of the ransomdemands. Guest starringHugh Laurie.

11.10 Men Behaving BadlyDeborah gets passionatewith Tony. Comedy,starring Neil Morrissey.

11.50 Men Behaving BadlyTony is forced to hide ina water tank.

12.30 Film: Gremlins (1984). Ateenager is given a strange, cutecreature as a Christmas present byhis eccentric father and warned tokeep it away from water, not tofeed it after midnight, or expose itto direct light. Comedy horror, withZach Galligan.●●●● 2.25 MenBehaving Badly

9.00 Gremlins (1984).A teenager is given astrange, cute creature asa Christmas present byhis eccentric father andwarned to keep it awayfrom water, not to feed itafter midnight, or exposeit to direct light.However, a chancedousing causes thefurball to spawn a hordeof murderous littlemonsters, and theirdevilish antics bringmayhem to a small town.Comedy horror, withZach Galligan, PhoebeCates, Hoyt Axton andPolly Holliday.●●●●

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30Ringside (HD). 7.30 PremierLeague Preview (HD). 8.00 TheFantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00Game Changers (HD). 10.00Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live(HD). 2.30 Saturday Team Talk(HD). 3.00 Soccer Saturday (S,HD).5.00 Live Saturday NightFootball (HD). Liverpool v AstonVilla (kick-off 5.30pm).

11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).Leeds United v LeicesterCity. Action from theChampionship fixture atElland Road.

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). Around-up of the latest football goalsfrom the top flight, Championship,League One and League Two. 1.00Spanish Football (HD). Real Betis vReal Madrid. 2.00 LiveInternational Fight Night (HD).Lucian Bute v Jean Pascal. 5.30 FL72Highlights (HD).

10.00 SNF – Match Choice(HD). Sarah-Jane Meepresents extendedhighlights from thePremier League,allowing viewers toaccess the latest round oftop-flight fixtures,including Arsenal vFulham.

The Incredible Hulk, 6.50pm Dragonball Evolution, 3.30pm Jumanji, 7.55pm Blackadder II, 7pm Live Football, 5pm

HOSTAGES9pm, Channel 4When Ellen disobeysDuncan’s orders, he threatensto kill a member of herfamily and the surgeonrealises she cannot trustanyone – not even thoseemployed to protect the president.

THE MAGALUF WEEKENDER11.35pm, ITV2Buckinghamshire trio Ollie, Toby and Jakeand Preston-based students Holly and Laurencheck into the Lively Hotel, and waste notime in getting to know the reps better.Meanwhile, new girl Ali struggles to settleinto her new lifestyle, resulting in a bitterwar of words with head rep Imogen.

11.10 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). The arrival ofSheldon’s twin sistercauses a stir.

11.40 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Penny plans aparty for Leonard.

8.00 SNF – Game of the Day(HD). Sarah-Jane Meepresents a full re-run ofthe day’s top PremierLeague match.

7.00 Great MovieMistakes:Revenge of theFifth (S). Blundersin Hollywoodfilms.

7.15 Top Gear(R,S,HD). Avehicle for elderlypeople isdesigned.

8.20 The Chroniclesof Narnia: TheLion, the Witchand theWardrobe (S,HD)(2005). Fantasyadventure,starring TildaSwinton.●●●●

10.30 RussellHoward’s GoodNews (R,S,HD).

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 Family Guy (R,S).12.05 Family Guy (R,S).12.30 Family Guy (R,S).12.50 Family Guy (R,S).1.10 Family Guy (R,S).1.35 Family Guy (R,S).1.55 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.25Live at the Electric(R,S,HD). 2.55 RussellHoward’s Good News(R,S,HD). 3.25 GreatMovie Mistakes:Revenge of the Fifth (R,S).

7.00 Wild China(R,HD). Thecountry’s diversewildlife.

8.00 A Very BritishMurder withLucy Worsley(R,HD). Thehistorian turnsher attention tothe interwarperiod. Last in theseries.

9.00 The Bridge (HD).The investigationgrows, offeringup new leads.

10.00 The Bridge (HD).Anotherpoisoning isconnected to thecase.

11.00 Slade at the BBC(R). Noddy Holderintroduces acompilation ofthe band’sperformances.

12.00 Top of the Pops:1979 (R). 12.40 Big inAmerica: British Hits inthe USA (R). Featuring theCure, Supertramp, Coldplayand the Dave Clark Five.1.40 Wild China (R,HD).2.40 A Very BritishMurder with LucyWorsley (R,HD).

KNOWING10pm, Channel 4Widowed astrophysicistJohn Koestler decodes apage of numbersrevealing the dates ofpast and future globaldisasters. Thriller,starring Nicolas Cage.

BURN AFTERREADING11pm, ITVCIA analyst Osborne Coxresigns from his job andwrites a tell-all book asrevenge on his formerbosses. Coen brotherscomedy, with Brad Pitt.

ITV2 E4 Sky1 GOLD Sky Sports 1 BBC3 BBC4

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.35 Match of theDay (R,S,HD). 9.00 The AndrewMarrShow (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions(S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News(S,HD). 1.15 Moving On (R,S,HD). 2.00Bargain Hunt (S). 3.00 Escape to theCountry (R,S,HD). 3.45 Lifeline (S,HD).3.55 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 4.30 HiddenKingdoms (R,S,HD). 5.30 BBC News;Regional News and Weather (S,HD).

7.00 Countryfile Winter Special(S,HD). The team explores thecountryside during the harshestof seasons.

6.00 Fake or Fortune? (S,HD). 1/4.New series. A painting thatcould be by French post-impressionist Edouard Vuillard.

8.00 Call the Midwife (S,HD). 1/8.See Choices Above.

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 1/10.See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather (S,HD).

10.25Match of the Day 2 (S,HD).Mark Chapman reviews thelatest Premier League action,featuring Chelsea v ManchesterUnited at Stamford Bridge andSwansea City v TottenhamHotspur at the Liberty Stadium.

11.25 The Revolution Will BeTelevised (S,HD). 3/6. DaleMaily attends the G8 summit.

11.55 Shifty (S,HD) (2008). Drama,starring Riz Ahmed, DanielMays and Jason Flemyng.●●●●


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6.00 Pat & Stan (R,S). 6.25 Dino Dan (R,S).6.50 Canimals (R,S). 7.10 Om Nom Stories(R,S). 7.15 Sooty (R,S). 7.25 Om Nom Stories(R,S). 7.30 Scrambled! (S). 9.25 Dickinson’sReal Deal (R,S,HD). 10.20 Murder, SheWrote (R,S,HD). 11.20 ITV News (S). 11.30Inside the National Trust (S,HD). 12.25 TheCrocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 1.25Catchphrase (R,S,HD). 2.10 Splash! (R,S,HD).3.40 Film: Dr No (S,HD) (1962). See ChoicesAbove. ●●●● 5.50 News (S).

6.00 The Treacle People (R,S). 6.10 TheHoobs (R,S). 7.05 Snowdon Race (S). 8.00Will & Grace (R,S). 8.30 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.30Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 How I MetYour Mother (S,HD). 1.25 The Big BangTheory (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Simpsons (R,S).3.55 Film: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids(S,HD) (1989). Disney comedy, with RickMoranis and Matt Frewer.●●●● 5.45 Dealor No Deal (S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake! 10.00 Power Rangers:Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Slugterra(R,S,HD). 11.00 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). 11.30 Celebrity Big Brother(R,S,HD). 12.30 Film: The In-Laws (S,HD)(2003).●● 2.25 Film: Something’s GottaGive (S,HD) (2003). Romantic comedy,starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton.●●● 4.55 Film: Sweet Home Alabama(S,HD) (2002). Romantic comedy, starringReese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas.●●●

7.45 All Star Family Fortunes(S,HD). 4/10. Birds of a Featherstar Lesley Joseph and comedianStephen K Amos team up withtheir families in an attempt towin money for charity.

6.00 ITV News and Weather (S).6.15 Dancing on Ice (S,HD). 3/10.

See Choices Above.

6.40 News (S).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather.10.15 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD).

3/8. Sharon makes a discoverywhen she tries to bed down inthe loft.

10.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories:Neil Morrissey (R,S,HD). 3/7.The actor discusses somerevealing topics.

12.10 The Store Home shopping. 2.15 TheJeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The hosttakes his successful talk show stateside,where he invites American guests to airtheir differences, and dispenses his ownjudgment on the situation. 3.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show USA (S). 3.40 ITVNightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy KyleShow (R,S).

7.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s FridayNight Feast (R,S,HD). 2/6.Sienna Miller shares her recipefor Tuscan duck ragu.

8.00 Speed with Guy Martin (S).4/4. The racing fan builds aprototype toboggan and headsto the Pyrenees, where heattempts to break the recordfor the world’s fastest gravity-powered sled. Last in the series.

9.00 Don’t Look Down (S). Thedeath-defying new craze ofurban free-climbing, wheredaredevils scale cranes andbuildings without safetyequipment and hang hundredsof feet above the ground.

10.00 Haywire (S,HD) (2011).Premiere. A mercenary isemployed by the USgovernment to carry out secretassignments, but on her latestmission, she is set up by one ofthe operatives who hired her.Action thriller, starring GinaCarano and Ewan McGregor.●●●●

1.55 Southland (R,S,HD). 2.40 Film:Internal Affairs (S,HD) (1990). A zealousinvestigator tries to bring to justice acorrupt cop whose criminal activitiesextend to murder. Crime thriller, starringRichard Gere and Andy Garcia.●●●● 4.30Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.25Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.30Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 Legally Blonde (S,HD) (2001).See Choices Above.●●●

8.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).17/22. The remaininghousemates embark on theirfinal week, knowing only oneof them can be crownedCelebrity Big Brother winner onFriday night.

11.55 Autopsy: Whitney Houston’sLast Hours (R,S,HD). 2/3. DrRichard Shepherd investigatesthe death of the singer inFebruary 2012.

10.00 The Lake House (S,HD) (2006).Two strangers who exchangeletters fall in love – but discoverthey are existing two yearsapart. Romantic fantasy,starring Sandra Bullock, KeanuReeves and ChristopherPlummer.●●●

12.55 SuperCasino 3.05 Living withADHD: Louis Smith (R,S,HD). 4.00Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S).4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Hana’sHelpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S).5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hana’sHelpline (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.45 Film:Blessed (S) (2008). Drama, starring JamesNesbitt.●●● 8.05 Monty Don’s FrenchGardens (R,S,HD). 9.05 Countryfile(R,S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen BestBites (S). 11.30 The Great Sport ReliefBake Off (R,S,HD). 12.30 The Great SportRelief Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.30 LiveSnooker: The Masters (S,HD). The openingeight frames of the final. 5.15 Ski Sunday(S). See Choices Above.

7.00 Live Snooker: The Masters(S,HD). Hazel Irvine presentsconcluding coverage of thefinal from Alexandra Palace,London, where a maximum of11 frames will be played todecide this year’s champion.Mark Selby claimed his thirdMasters title with a 10-6 victoryover Neil Robertson in 2013,winning five frames to theAustralian’s three in the secondsession. With commentary byDennis Taylor, Ken Doherty,Stephen Hendry and JohnVirgo, and analysis by SteveDavis and John Parrott.Subsequent programmessubject to change.

6.00 Flog It! (R,S). 7/60. Paul Martinmeets people eager to make aprofit selling their valuables inSwindon, assisted by expertsDavid Barby andWill Axon.

11.00 A Serious Man (S,HD) (2009).A mild-mannered professorseeks spiritual advice as a seriesof disasters disrupts his life. TheCoen brothers’ 1960s-set blackcomedy, starring MichaelStuhlbarg.●●●●

11.45 River Monsters (R,S,HD). 4/7.JeremyWade travels to Texason a hunt to reveal the truthabout the notorious alligatorgar, a species of fish reputed tohave committed a number ofviolent attacks on humans.

11.45 Domino (S,HD) (2005). A highsociety girl grows tired of herlifestyle and becomes a bountyhunter, with her exploitsdocumented in a TV show.Thriller, with Keira Knightleyand Mickey Rourke.●●●

12.40 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). JohnCraven and Helen Skelton head to Surrey,where he explores the countrysidefavoured by Arthur Conan Doyle and shetalks to an artist with an all-consumingpassion for horses. 1.35 Sign Zone: HolbyCity (R,S). Jac and Jonny struggle to cope.2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes.

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8.30 Dancing on Ice: The SkateOff (S,HD). 3/10. The lowest-scoring celebrities performcrowd-pleasing routines fromtheir original series in a bid forsurvival, and one of them willbe hanging up their skates forgood.

9.00Mr Selfridge (S,HD). 1/10. SeeChoices Above.

Countryfile Winter Special, 7pm Live Snooker: The Masters, 7pm River Monsters, 11.45pm Jamie and Jimmy’s … 7pm Autopsy: Whitney … 11.55pm

THE MUSKETEERS9pm, BBC1Drama set in 17th-century Paris, following theadventures of the soldiers assigned to protectking and country. Young swordsmand’Artagnan arrives in Paris seeking out theman responsible for killing his father – a questthat brings him into conflict with one of theking’s guards. Luke Pasqualino stars.

DANCING ON ICE6.15pm, ITVHaving progressed fromthe first round ofperformances, the 10remaining celebrity skatersnow go head to head onthe ice. Presented by PhillipSchofield and Christine Bleakley.

SKI SUNDAY5.15pm, BBC2Graham Bell and Ed Leigh present actionfrom the men’s downhill in Wengen,Switzerland, which saw Frenchman JohanClarey become the first man to exceed100mph in a World Cup race. Plus, Ed looksback at the life of skier and BASE jumperShane McConkey, who died in 2009.

BBC1

CALL THE MIDWIFE8pm, BBC1The nuns and midwivesmove into their newpremises, Jenny isconcerned about apatient’s mental stateand Chummy strugglesto adjust to life as a mother.


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9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).17/22. The remaininghousemates embark on theirfinal week, knowing only oneof them can be crownedCelebrity Big Brother winner onFriday night.

11.55 Autopsy: Whitney Houston’sLast Hours (R,S,HD). 2/3. DrRichard Shepherd investigatesthe death of the singer inFebruary 2012.

10.00 The Lake House (S,HD) (2006).Two strangers who exchangeletters fall in love – but discoverthey are existing two yearsapart. Romantic fantasy,starring Sandra Bullock, KeanuReeves and ChristopherPlummer.●●●

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Emmerdale (R,HD). 9.30Coronation Street (R,HD). 12.00Take Me Out (R,HD). 1.10 DinnerDate: Australia (R). 2.10 You’veBeen Framed! Top 100 Holidays(R). 3.10 Film: Free Willy (HD)(1993).●●● 5.30 Film: ThePerfect Storm (HD) (2000). Fact-based disaster drama, starringGeorge Clooney.●●●

8.00 You’ve Been Framedand Famous! (R). HarryHill narrates a selectionof the best celebritylookalike clips sent in byviewers.

10.00 The Fast and theFurious: Tokyo Drift(HD) (2006). AnAmerican teenager issent to live with hisfather in Tokyo after abrush with the law, butsoon becomes involvedin illegal street racing.When he ends up owingmoney to gangsters afterlosing a race against adriver with Yakuzaconnections, he has tolearn to master theJapanese style of drivingto win and pay back hisdebts. Adventure,starring Lucas Black.●●

12.10 Film: Harold & Kumar Getthe Munchies (HD) (2004).Comedy adventure, starring JohnCho, Kal Penn, Paula Garces andNeil Patrick Harris. Including FYIDaily.●●● 1.55 Totally You’veBeen Framed! (R). 2.45Teleshopping 5.45 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 The MagalufWeekender (HD).Bournemouth-basedbrothers Ryan and Louishead to the Lively Hotelwith their best friendJohn, and head repImogen loses patiencewith her colleagues.

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,HD). Comedy, starringAndy Samberg.


6.00 Switched (R). 6.20 Make Itor Break It (R,HD). 7.10 UglyBetty (R,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R).9.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 9.55Hollyoaks (R,HD). 12.30 Revenge(R,HD). 1.30 How I Met YourMother (R,HD). 3.00 The BigBang Theory (R,HD). 4.00Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD(R,HD). 5.00 The TomorrowPeople (R,HD).

7.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldon is hurtwhen Professor Protoncontacts Leonard.


8.00 Big Momma’s House(HD) (2000). A dedicatedFBI agent will stop atnothing to catch adangerous escapedconvict, even if it meansdonning a fat suit anddrag to pose as theobese old woman wholives across the roadfrom the felon’sgirlfriend. Comedy, withMartin Lawrence, NiaLong, Paul Giamatti,Jascha Washington,Terrence DashonHoward and EllaMitchell. ●●●

10.00 Rude Tube (R,HD). SeeChoices Above.

12.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,HD). Marshall recommends anold friend for a job at his firm.12.30 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD).1.35 The Ricky Gervais Show(R,HD). 2.00 The Cleveland Show(R,HD). 2.25 The Cleveland Show(R,HD). 3.10 Bob’s Burgers (R,HD).3.30 Hollyoaks (R).

6.00 Jordan & Perri’sUltimate Block Party

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).With the guest voice ofLiam Neeson.

6.00 Hour of Power (HD). 7.00 Glee(R,S). 9.00 Oscar Nomination Show(HD). 9.30 Jordan & Perri’s UltimateBlock Party 10.00 WWE Superstars(R). 11.00 WWE: Experience. 12.00Sinbad (R,S,HD). 1.00 Film: Jumanji(1995).●●●● 3.05 DavidAttenborough’s Kingdom of Plants(R,S,HD). 4.00 Oscar NominationShow (R,S,HD). 4.30 The Simpsons(R,S). 5.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big TownDance (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (S). MrBurns tries to become asuperhero.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).Marge and Homer makeplans for the future.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).Homer must save hismarriage.

8.30 The Simpsons (R,S).Groundskeeper Willie ismade homeless andforced to move in withthe family.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(S,HD). New series. Theteam comes to the aid ofSam and Deeks, whohave been mercilesslytortured by Sidorov forinformation on thewhereabouts of anundercover Michelle.Starring Chris O’Donnell.

12.00 The Wolf of Wall StreetSpecial (R,S,HD). 12.30 Nothingto Declare (R,S). 1.00 Brit Cops:Zero Tolerance (R,S). 2.00 BritCops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 3.00Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance(R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD).

11.00 Banshee (R,S). Agrocery store robberyspirals into a hostagesituation at the school,where Deva and some ofher friends are servingdetention, overseen bythe mayor’s wife.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S,HD).New series. McGarrettandWo Fat narrowlyescape from prison, butthe NLM gunmen are notfar behind, whileterrorists pin down thelocation of Kono andAdam’s safehouse.

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV BurpHow the soaps havecelebrated Valentine’sDay.

6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

6.20 One Foot in the Grave 8.10One Foot in the Grave 8.50 TheBlack Adder 9.35 The BlackAdder 10.20 Outnumbered 11.00Outnumbered 11.40Outnumbered 12.20 Only Foolsand Horses 1.40 Blackadder II2.20 Blackadder II 3.00Blackadder II 3.40 John LeMesurier: It’s All Been RatherLovely 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

7.00 Outnumbered Benshows prospectivebuyers around thehouse. Comedy, starringHugh Dennis.

7.40 Outnumbered

8.20 Outnumbered Sue andPete try to resolve theirdifferences, but Karen isunimpressed by theirbehaviour, and Bendecides to recreate anassault on Everest.

10.20 Best of Not the NineO’Clock NewsHighlights of thecomedy show, starringRowan Atkinson andMel Smith.

10.55 Best of Not the NineO’Clock NewsHighlights of the sketchshow.

11.30 Harry Enfield andChums Comedysketches with thefunnyman and partnersin mirth PaulWhitehouse and KathyBurke.

12.10 The Smell of Reeves andMortimer The Stotts appear onThis Is Your Life. 12.50 Best of Notthe Nine O’Clock News Highlightsof the sketch show. 1.15 Best ofNot the Nine O’Clock News 1.40Harry Enfield and Chums 2.10The Smell of Reeves andMortimer

9.00 Only Fools and HorsesThe Trotter brothers areguests at a wedding,where they are intriguedto hear their deardeparted motherinherited the ill-gottengains of an East End bankrobber – but nobody hasever found the loot.

6.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD).7.30 Game Changers (HD). 8.30FL72 Highlights (HD). 9.00 TheSunday Supplement (HD). 10.30Goals on Sunday (HD). A review ofyesterday’s football action. 12.30Live Super Sunday (HD). SwanseaCity v Tottenham Hotspur (Kick-off1.30pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday(HD). Chelsea v Manchester United(Kick-off 4.00pm).

7.00 Premier League 100Club A profile of PaulScholes.

7.30 Live NFL (HD). The NFCChampionship game(Kick-off TBA). Coverageof the contest featuringthe winners of the NFCdivisional play-offs, asthey vie for a place in theSuper Bowl.

11.00 Live NFL (HD). The AFCChampionship game(Kick-off TBA).

2.30 NFL – A Football Life (HD).A profile of Matt Millen, the formerOakland Raiders, San Francisco49ers andWashington Redskinslinebacker. 3.30 Premier League100 Club (HD). A profile of TeddySheringham. 4.00 Football Special(HD). 5.30 Premier League 100Club

The Fast and the ... 10pm Big Momma’s House, 8pm Banshee, 11pm Only Fools and Horses, 9pm Live Super Sunday, 12.30pm

MR SELFRIDGE9pm, ITVRose returns from Americato celebrate Selfridges’ fifthanniversary, having grownapart from Harry over theyears, while Lady Mae’shusband turns upunexpectedly. Starring Aidan McArdle.

RUDE TUBE10pm, E4Alex Zane presents a countdown of internetA-listers – people who have achieved celebrityor infamy just by appearing on the web. Theshow features the so-called Simon Cowell ofonline songs, a man who threw a house partyin a furniture shop and the Jesus lookalikewho was removed from a darts tournament.

11.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Penny becomesaddicted to an onlinegame. Starring KaleyCuoco and Jim Parsons.


7.00 Great MovieMistakes:Revenge of theFifth (R,S).

7.15 The Voice UK(R,S,HD).

8.35Monsters vsAliens (S,HD)(2009). Animatedsci-fi comedy,with the voice ofReeseWitherspoon.●●●●

10.00 Family Guy(R,S,HD). Thecriminal whocrippled Joebreaks out of jail.

10.25 Family Guy(R,S,HD). Lois hasan image change.

10.45 Uncle (R,S,HD).Comedy, starringNick Helm.

11.15 American Dad!(R,S,HD).

11.40 American Dad!(R,S,HD).

12.00 Bad Education(R,S,HD). 12.30 Sun, Sexand Suspicious Parents:Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.30Live at the Electric (HD).2.00 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.30Underage & Over theLimit (R,S,HD). 3.30 BadEducation (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Man WhoDiscoveredEgypt (R,HD).

8.00 HiddenHistories:Britain’s OldestFamilyBusinesses(R,HD). Thesecrets behindthree of thecountry’s longest-runningcompanies.

9.00 Point Blank(1967). Crimethriller, starringLee Marvin.●●●●

10.30Me and Me Dad:A Portrait ofJohn Boorman.A profile of thefilm-maker by hisdaughter Katrine.

11.20 Nelson’sCaribbean Hell-Hole: AnEighteenthCentury NavyGraveyardUncovered(R,HD).

12.20 The Man WhoDiscovered Egypt (R,HD).1.20 Born to Be Wild(R,HD). 2.20 Alice Cooper– Brutally Live (R).

LEGALLY BLONDE7pm, Channel 5A dizzy teenager enrolsat Harvard to try toprove to herex-boyfriend that she isnot stupid. Comedy,with Reese Witherspoonand Luke Wilson.

DR NO3.40pm, ITVJames Bond investigatesa criminal mastermind inthe Caribbean plotting tosabotage the US spaceprogramme. Spy thriller,with Sean Connery andUrsula Andress.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Underthe Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The SheriffsAre Coming (S,HD). 11.45 HelicopterHeroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt(S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.40Doctors 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to theCountry (R,S,HD). 4.30 Antiques RoadTrip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Alex Jones and Matt Baker.

7.30 Regional Programme (S).Followed by BBC News;Regional News.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather.6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Maxconfronts Jake, convincedLauren is pregnant.

8.30 Police: Shooting to Kill? –Panorama (S,HD). Thecontroversy surrounding policefirearms units.

9.00 New Tricks (R,S). 9/10. Theteam reinvestigates the15-year-old murder of a boxerafter the gun used to kill him isdiscovered at the scene of anarmed robbery. Guest starringMaggie O’Neill (Shameless) andChloe Howman (Casualty).

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Have I Got Old News for You

(R,S,HD). 2/9. Larger-than-lifeactor Brian Blessed is in the hotseat as Paul Merton and IanHislop poke fun at the headlinesfrom April 2013, with the helpof comedienne Bridget Christieand politician Ken Livingstone.

11.20Who Do You Think You Are?USA (S,HD). 2/6. Singer KellyClarkson explores her mother’sside of the family, uncoveringthe story of her great-great-great-grandfather, who foughtagainst slavery during theAmerican Civil War.

12.05 The Graham Norton Show(R,S,HD). With Michael Fassbender, talkingabout 12 Years a Slave, Mandela: LongWalk to Freedom star Idris Elba, actressOlivia Colman and Girls creator LenaDunham. Music by Keane. 12.50Weatherview (S,HD). 12.55 BBC News(S,HD).

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S).1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’sReal Deal (S). The team visits Ludlow,Shropshire. 3.00 The Alan TitchmarshShow (S,HD). New series. With PaulHollywood and Mark Benton. 3.59Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s BestBakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will &Grace (R,S). 7.55 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S).11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses(R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News MiddaySummary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me(R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: WinterSun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dinewith Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun(R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD).12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). Kate finds Georgia unconscious. 2.15NCIS (R,S). An agent’s body is found badlyburned. 3.15 Film: Family Gathering (S)(2010). Drama, starring Natasha Henstridgeand Harry Hamlin. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Samsuspects Declan has set Rachelup.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Hayley decides that today is tobe her last.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather.6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/22.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Freddie

struggles to hide aheartbreaking truth from therest of the Roscoes.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Nate enlists Ricky and Heath tohelp him search for Josh.

6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Accepted (S,HD) (2006). A

high-school student denied aplace at any of his chosencolleges resolves to set up aneducational institution of hisown in collaboration withslacker friends. The ingeniousmisfits go to great lengths toconvince their parents of thecollege’s authenticity, despiteits unorthodox curriculum.Comedy, starring Justin Long,Jonah Hill and AdamHerschman. See Choices Above.●●●

12.20 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chanceto participate in live interactive gamingfrom the comfort of their sofas, with a mixof roulette-wheel spins and lively chat fromthe presenting team. 3.00 The JeremyKyle Show USA (S). The host takes hissuccessful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITVNightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy KyleShow (R,S,HD).

7.00 News (S).

8.00 Are You Addicted to Sugar?Channel 4 Dispatches (S). Thesugar content of the nation’sfavourite foods.

8.30 Food Unwrapped (S). 1/5. SeeChoices Above.

9.00 Benefits Street (S). 3/5.Documentary following thelives of people who are heavilyreliant on welfare payments,revealing the daily challengesthey face in tough economictimes.

10.00My Baggy Body (S). Thedramatic increase in weight-loss surgery in the last decadehas left thousands of peoplewith large amounts of excessskin, but with the NHSrestricting subsequent cosmeticprocedures, many of them areunhappy in their newly slimbodies.

12.00 Random Acts (S). Fancy footworkby the Ballet Boyz. 12.05 Speed with GuyMartin (R,S). 1.00 Hostages (R,S,HD). 1.55World Without End (R,S,HD). 2.50Coming Up (R,S,HD). 3.20 Dave: LoanRanger (R,S,HD). 4.15 Phil Spencer:Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.10 Kirstie’sHandmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.30 Dealor No Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 Robson’s Extreme FishingChallenge (S,HD). The UnitedArab Emirates and Oman. Lastin the series. Followed by 5News Update.

8.00 Go Hard or Go Home (S,HD).Hannah White prepares fourmembers of the WI to take partin a triathlon. Followed by 5News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).18/22. Marcus Bentley narratesanother day of tears, tantrums,petty squabbles and outlandishantics, courtesy of the celebrityhousemates who really oughtto know better.

11.50 Celebrity Big Brother’s Biton the Side (HD). 12/16. EmmaWillis presents the CBBcompanion show, includingcelebrity guests’ thoughts onthe latest developments andbehind-the-scenes insights.

10.00 Helix (S,HD). 1&2/13. SeeChoices Above.

12.50 Campus PD (R,S). Officer Ferreirainvestigates an alcohol overdose victim.1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Autopsy: WhitneyHouston’s Last Hours (R,S,HD). 3.55House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor(R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge(R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 HomesUnder the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 TheSheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 RealLives Reunited (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone:Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05Sign Zone: Britain and the Sea 10.05Sign Zone: Britain’s Empty Homes 10.35Click (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD).11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live InternationalBowls (S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

7.00 The Great Interior DesignChallenge (S,HD). 1/12. SeeChoices Above.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 106/140.Quiz show, hosted by JeremyVine.

6.30 Great British RailwayJourneys (S,HD). 11/20.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD).26/37. The second of thequarter-final matches.

8.30Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 1/4.See Choices Above.

9.30 Russia on Four Wheels(S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two.Justin Rowlatt and Anita Raniset off from Sochi on separateroad trips across Russia,examining whether the countryhas left its Cold War pastbehind. Concludes onWednesday.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followedby Weather.

11.20 Operation Grand Canyonwith Dan Snow (R,S,HD). 1/2.Part one of two. An expeditionthrough the natural wonder.

11.00 The American FootballShow: The Road to theSuper Bowl (S). Action fromthe Conference Championshipgames.

12.20 International Bowls (S). The WorldIndoor Championships. Highlights of theWorld Pairs final at the Potters LeisureResort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. 1.20Sign Zone: Trust Me I’m a Doctor (R,S).Michael Mosley and a team of medicsinvestigate the truth behind health stories.2.20 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBCLearning Zone (S,HD).

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8.00 A Great Welsh Adventurewith Griff Rhys Jones (S,HD).3/8. The funnyman visitsPembrokeshire.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Hayley prepares to take thelethal cocktail of drugs.

9.00 The Bletchley Circle (S,HD).3/4. See Choices Above.

The One Show, 7pm Great British Railway … 6.30pm A Great Welsh … 8pm Are You Addicted … 8pm Robson’s Extreme Fishing … 7pm

WINTERWATCH 20148.30pm, BBC2Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and MartinHughes-Games present a new series from theirnew base at Mar Lodge Estate in theCairngorms National Park, where they’ll befollowing the fortunes of golden eagles, redsquirrels, otters and red deer as they cope withthis most challenging season.

THE BLETCHLEY CIRCLE9pm, ITVPart one of two. WhenMillie is kidnapped by Sohogangster types, Alicesuspects the incident couldbe connected to herdealings on the blackmarket and avoids involving the police.

FOOD UNWRAPPED8.30pm, Channel 4The team travels the globe to explore thesecrets behind more mass-produced food.Jimmy Doherty finds out about traditionallymatured cheese, Matt Tebbutt investigatesthe risk of consuming reheated rice, andKate Quilton heads to Malaysia to look atthe production of vanilla extract.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25Coronation Street (R,HD). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R). 10.30 The Real Housewivesof Orange County (R,HD). 11.30Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD). 12.30Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 CoronationStreet (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy KyleShow (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives ofOrange County (HD). 5.05 MillionaireMatchmaker (R,HD).

11.00 Fake Reaction (R,HD).With Charlotte Crosby,Gemma Cairney, IvoGraham and LouieSpence.

11.50 Two and a Half Men(R).

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).Jake forms a bond with Judith’snew boyfriend, who has a boat anda pool – but things turn sour whenthe relationship ends. 12.45 TakeMe Out (R,HD). 1.50 Life’sFunniest Moments (R). 2.10Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

HELIX10pm,Channel 5New drama series, in which ateam of scientists travels to ahigh-tech research facility inthe Arctic to investigate avirus outbreak. Sci-fi thriller,starring Billy Campbell andJordan Hayes.

BBC1

THE GREATINTERIOR DESIGNCHALLENGE7pm, BBC2In this new series,journalist TomDyckhoff presents acompetition searchingfor untapped interior design talent.


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6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun(R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD).12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). Kate finds Georgia unconscious. 2.15NCIS (R,S). An agent’s body is found badlyburned. 3.15 Film: Family Gathering (S)(2010). Drama, starring Natasha Henstridgeand Harry Hamlin. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Nate enlists Ricky and Heath tohelp him search for Josh.


8.00 Go Hard or Go Home (S,HD).Hannah White prepares fourmembers of the WI to take partin a triathlon. Followed by 5News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).18/22. Marcus Bentley narratesanother day of tears, tantrums,petty squabbles and outlandishantics, courtesy of the celebrityhousemates who really oughtto know better.


FOOD UNWRAPPED8.30pm, Channel 4The team travels the globe to explore thesecrets behind more mass-produced food.Jimmy Doherty finds out about traditionallymatured cheese, Matt Tebbutt investigatesthe risk of consuming reheated rice, andKate Quilton heads to Malaysia to look atthe production of vanilla extract.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25Coronation Street (R,HD). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R). 10.30 The Real Housewivesof Orange County (R,HD). 11.30Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD). 12.30Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 CoronationStreet (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy KyleShow (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives ofOrange County (HD). 5.05 MillionaireMatchmaker (R,HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R). The antics of pinkninjas and someone in aSpider-Man costume.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R).

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Awoman from Londonhopes to find love.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie dates Jake’steacher. Starring CharlieSheen and Angus TJones.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R). Jake bonds withJudith’s new boyfriend.

10.00 The Job Lot (R,HD).Comedy set in a jobcentre, starring SarahHadland.

10.30 Plebs (R,HD). Comedy,starring Tom Rosenthaland Joel Fry.



12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).Jake forms a bond with Judith’snew boyfriend, who has a boat anda pool – but things turn sour whenthe relationship ends. 12.45 TakeMe Out (R,HD). 1.50 Life’sFunniest Moments (R). 2.10Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00Mom. New series.Comedy, starring AnnaFaris and Allison Janney.A former alcoholic triesto get her life back ontrack.

9.30Mom. Christy andBonnie work through afamily crisis.


6.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldon receivesa prestigious prize.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 902107.10 Ugly Betty 7.55 Charmed(R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Madein Chelsea 11.00 Charmed (R).12.00 Rules of Engagement(R,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD).1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory3.00 Made in Chelsea 4.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 HowI Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD).7.30 How I Met Your

Mother (R,HD). Partone of two. Ted invitesan old professor to theGNB opening.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,HD). Americancomedy, starring AndySamberg and AndreBraugher.

8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,HD).Caroline and Max go toa trendy new restaurant.

10.00What Happens inKavos (R,HD). Thedocumentary hearsfrom girls who let theirhair down when they goon holiday to thepopular Greek resort,and an alcohol-fuellednight out ends in a tripto the emergency room.

12.00 The Tomorrow People(R,HD). 12.55 Marvel’s Agents ofSHIELD (R,HD). 1.55 WhatHappens in Kavos (R,HD). 2.50The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD).3.15 The Cleveland Show (R,HD).3.35 Bob’s Burgers (R,HD). 4.00Glee (R,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty(R,HD).

9.00 Revenge (HD). Emilyenlists Father Paul tohelp persuade Conrad toconfess his sins, whileVictoria causes a ruckusby bringing anunexpected guest toNolan’s lavishhousewarming party.

6.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). Gloria plans aromantic getaway forJay’s birthday.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S). 8.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0(R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0(R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama(R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).Homer receives maritaladvice from a movie star.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).With the guest voice ofTom Waits.

8.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). Manny has aheart-to-heart withClaire.

8.30Modern Family(R,S,HD). Mitchell andClaire’s mother visits.

10.00 Banshee (R,S). Carriehas an encounter withMr Rabbit’s right-handman Olek, and Proctorpays a visit to hisestranged family whenhis niece Rebecca iskicked out of her home.

12.15 Spartacus: Vengeance(R,S,HD). The gladiator’s leadershipskills are tested. 1.30 Nothing toDeclare (R,S). The work of customsofficers in Australia. 2.00 BritCops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 3.00Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog theBounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 AirlineUSA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S).

11.00 Spartacus: Vengeance(R,S,HD). The gladiatorspots an opportunity forrevenge, and suspicionsurrounds Glaber.Historical drama,starring Liam McIntyre.

9.00Mad Dogs (R,S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine. Howard allaysPearl’s naturalsuspicions.

6.40 Porridge

6.00 To the Manor Born 6.30 AsTime Goes By 7.00 Harry Hill’s TVBurp 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster9.10 Keeping Up Appearances9.50 Brittas Empire 10.30Summer Wine 11.50 Porridge1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 Tothe Manor Born 2.50 As TimeGoes By 3.25 Jeeves andWooster 4.40 Keeping UpAppearances 5.20 Summer Wine

7.20 Porridge. Godber entersthe prison boxingchampionships. He is hotfavourite to win, butFletcher is given the taskof fixing the contest.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.The quirky comicreenacts the sinking ofthe Titanic.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.Dogs compete in TheApprentice.

10.20 Little Britain. EmilyHoward has an X-raythat uncovers her secret,Vicky Pollard ends up incourt and DennisWaterman delivers abirthday message.

11.00 Little Britain. Andy andLou buy an unusual pet.Comedy, with Matt Lucasand David Walliams.

11.40 Little Britain. VickyPollard finds out she ispregnant.

12.20 Come Fly with Me. MattLucas and David Walliams star inthis spoof fly-on-the-walldocumentary set in a busy airport.In the opening episode, 80-year-oldHetty Wolf takes her first flight.1.00 Come Fly with Me 1.30Little Britain 2.00 Little Britain2.30 Little Britain

9.00 Come Fly with Me.Airport documentaryspoof, starring MattLucas and DavidWalliams.

9.40 Come Fly with Me. Awing malfunction delayspassengers. Comedy,with Matt Lucas.

6.00 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches,featuring all the goalsfrom the Championship,League One and LeagueTwo.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD).10.30 Football League Gold (HD).10.45 Football Gold (HD). 11.00Spanish Football (HD). 12.00International One-Day Cricket(HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD).2.30 Spanish Football (HD). 3.30The Fantasy Football Club (HD).4.00 Game Changers (HD). 5.00Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

7.00 Live Monday NightFootball (HD). WestBromwich Albion vEverton (kick-off8.00pm). All the actionfrom the Premier Leagueencounter at theHawthorns. Goals byShane Long and GarethMcAuley gave theBaggies a 2-0 win in lastseason’s correspondingfixture and they also heldEverton to a goallessdraw at Goodison Park inthis term’s reverseencounter.

11.00 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches,featuring all the goalsfrom the Championship,League One and LeagueTwo.

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).Highlights of Saturday’s show. 1.30SPFL Round-Up (HD). 2.00 LiveTour Down Under Cycling (HD).4.00 FL72 Review. 5.00 SPFLRound-Up (HD). 5.30 FootballLeague Gold (HD). 5.45 FootballGold (S,HD).

Fake Reaction, 11pm Revenge, 9pm Modern Family, 8pm Porridge, 6.40pm Live Football, 7pm

HELIX10pm,Channel 5New drama series, in which ateam of scientists travels to ahigh-tech research facility inthe Arctic to investigate avirus outbreak. Sci-fi thriller,starring Billy Campbell andJordan Hayes.

MAD DOGS9pm, Sky1A visit by a policewoman triggers a series offlashbacks, leading the four friends to slowlyrealise they are implicated in Alvo’s murder –and the only way out is to try to trust oneanother. Psychological thriller, starring MaxBeesley, Philip Glenister, John Simm, MarcWarren and Ben Chaplin.

11.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). The friends fightover a ring they believewas used in The Lord ofthe Rings.


7.00 Snog, Marry,Avoid? (R,S,HD).

7.30 Snog, Marry,Avoid? (R,S,HD).Ellie Taylor visitsLiverpool.

8.00 Don’t Tell theBride (R,S).

9.00 Sun, Sex andSuspiciousParents:Thailand (S,HD).A ladies’ man anda mummy’s boyhead to KohPhangan.

10.00 Uncle (S,HD).Andy has a day toforget.

10.30 EastEnders(R,S,HD). Maxconfronts Jake,convinced Laurenis pregnant.

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S,HD).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30 Uncle(R,S,HD). 1.00 Sun, Sexand Suspicious Parents:Thailand (R,S,HD). 2.00Underage & Over theLimit (R,S,HD). 3.00 Sun,Sex and SuspiciousParents: Thailand (R,S).

7.00World NewsToday (HD);Weather

7.30 ElephantDiaries (R).Jonathan Scottwatches the olderorphans beingintroduced towild elephants.

8.00 King Alfred andthe Anglo-Saxons (R,HD).Michael Woodtells the story ofKing Alfred theGreat.

9.00 Project Nim (HD)(2011). SeeChoices Above.●●●●

10.35 Storyville: BigBrotherWatching Me:Citizen AiWeiwei (HD). Thelife of Chinesecontemporaryartist Ai Weiwei.

11.50 HiddenHistories:Britain’s OldestFamilyBusinesses

12.50 King Alfred andthe Anglo-Saxons (R,HD).1.50 Film: Project Nim(HD) (2011). ●●●●

ACCEPTED10.35pm, ITVIngenious high-schoolfriends denied collegeplaces set up their owninstitution with a ratherunorthodox curriculum.Comedy, starring JustinLong and Jonah Hill.

PROJECT NIM9pm, BBC4Documentary about achimpanzee raised as ahuman child, anexperiment that proveddangerous as the animalbecame stronger andmore aggressive.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Underthe Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 The SheriffsAre Coming (S,HD). 11.45 HelicopterHeroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather(S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather.1.40 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown(R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45Escape to the Country 4.30 AntiquesRoad Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Livechat and topical reports.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Laurenrealises Jake has hit the bottleagain. Followed by BBC News;Regional News.


8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 15/52. Jacfails to support her daughter asshe undergoes surgery, Arthurembarks on a sabotage missionagainst Dominic and Adele isupset when Mo pulls rank onher.

9.00 Death in Paradise (S,HD). 2/8.See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S). Followed

by National Lottery Update.10.35 The Naked Rambler (S,HD).

See Choices Above.

11.25 Film 2014 (S,HD). 1/7. Newseries. Reviews of Inside LlewynDavis and Jack Ryan: ShadowRecruit.

11.55White Mischief (S) (1987). SeeChoices Above.●●●●


11

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S).1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’sReal Deal (S). The team visitsLoughborough. 3.00 The Alan TitchmarshShow (S,HD). With guest StephenTompkinson. 3.59 Regional Weather (S).4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00The Chase (S,HD).


6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 World’s Worst HolidayHorrors (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity BigBrother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S). 3.15 Film: Patricia Cornwell’s AtRisk (S) (2010). See Choices Above.●●●5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD). Kate decides to keep her distancefrom Kyle.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). The day ofRachel’s court case arrives.

7.30 River Monsters (S). 3/7. Afeared creature in CentralAmerica.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 16/22.Bart is sent to a juveniledetention centre.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Nancysurprises Darren.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Nate tells Josh he needs to sortthings out with Maddy.


10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S); Weather10.35 Chris Eubank: Sports Life

Stories (S,HD). 8/8. A profile ofthe former boxer. Last in theseries.

12.05 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chanceto participate in live interactive gamingfrom the comfort of their sofas, with a mixof roulette-wheel spins and lively chat fromthe presenting team. 3.00 Loose Women(R,HD). With guests Anton Du Beke andShane Filan. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD).Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

7.00 News (S).

8.00 Location, Location, Location(S,HD). 3/6. In Norfolk, PhilSpencer helps a pair ofpensioners find a home by thesea, and Kirstie Allsopp assists acouple who have spent morethan a year searching for arural property.

9.00 The Taste (S,HD). 3/10. SeeChoices Above.

10.00 Ramsay’s KitchenNightmares USA (S). 14/16.Gordon Ramsay heads to theProhibition Grille in Everett,Washington, where bellydancer-turned-restaurateurRishi Brown would ratherperform for customers thanimprove her menu.

12.00 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.05 Poker(S). Action from the Pokerstars.comEuropean Poker Tour Barcelona. 1.00KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.30 TransWorld Sport (R,S). 2.25 Beach Volleyball(S). 3.20 Snowdon Race (R,S). 4.20 PhilSpencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.15Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites(R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). 22/30.

7.30 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). Followed by 5 NewsUpdate.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun(S,HD). The second GibraltarMusic Festival takes place andevents planner Monica Coumbehas to ensure stars includingEmeli Sande, Olly Murs andTexas are well looked after.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).19/22. A chance to catch upwith the latest action as thecelebrity contestants continueto live out their lives in front ofthe cameras, knowing it will allbe over soon.


10.00 Autopsy: Anna NicoleSmith’s Last Hours (S,HD). 3/3.Forensic pathologist Dr RichardShepherd investigates thedeath of the model and actress,who died in February 2007 atthe age of 39 from a drugoverdose. Last in the series.

12.00 My Post-Baby Breakdown:Jennifer Ellison (R,S). The TV personalitydiscusses post-natal depression. 1.00SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming.3.05 Hens Behaving Badly (R,S,HD). 3.55House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor(R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge(R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Underthe Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 The SheriffsAre Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 HelicopterHeroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 8.20 SignZone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.05Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (R,S).10.05 Sign Zone: Britain’s Empty Homes(R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBCNews (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News(S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 LiveInternational Bowls (S). 5.15 Flog It!

7.00 The Great Interior DesignChallenge (S,HD). 2/12.Transforming knocked-throughsitting rooms in three homes ina Salford terrace.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 107/140.Quiz show.

6.30 Great British RailwayJourneys (S,HD). 12/20.Michael Portillo travels throughHampshire and Berkshire.

8.00Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 2/4.The team explores the ancientCaledonian forest, which ishome to squirrels, pine martensand other woodland wildlife.Chris Packham tracks anadventurous urban fox inBrighton.

9.00 The Search for Alfred theGreat (S,HD). Neil Oliverfollows the work of the team ofhistorians and scientists tryingto discover the final restingplace of the remains of9th-century English king Alfredthe Great.

10.00 House of Fools (S,HD). 2/6. SeeChoices Above.


11.20 Operation Grand Canyonwith Dan Snow (R,S,HD). 2/2.Part two of two. There-creation of a pioneeringexpedition.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries(R,S). A Tasmanian devil arrivesat the zoo ready to settle intoits new home.

11.00 The Undateables (R,S,HD).2/4. A man with Asperger’ssyndrome panics when meetingdating agency employees and ajazz singer with Tourette’ssyndrome has dates with a manand a woman.

12.20 International Bowls (S). The WorldIndoor Championships. Highlights of theMixed Pairs final at the Potters LeisureResort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. 1.20Sign Zone: The Midwives (R,S). Mothers-to-be who need additional medical supportand care. 2.20 This Is BBC Two (S). Previewof upcoming programmes from BBC Two.3.55 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

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8.00Weight Loss Ward (S,HD). 3/3.At Sunderland Royal Hospital’sobesity unit, Doreen Thomasspends her first night awayfrom home in 37 years and the56-year-old makes a surprisingdecision. Narrated by DominicCooper. Last in the series.

9.00 Paul O’Grady’s AnimalOrphans (S,HD). 2/3. SeeChoices Above.

Film 2014, 11.25pm Weight Loss Ward, 8pm Ramsay’s Kitchen … 10pm Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun, 8pm

DEATH IN PARADISE9pm, BBC1A zombie movie being filmed on the islandends in real-life horror when a stand-in ispoisoned – and new detective inspectorHumphrey soon deduces that the unfortunatevictim was not the killer’s intended target.Michelle Ryan, Peter Davison and HannahTointon guest star.

PAUL O’GRADY’SANIMAL ORPHANS9pm, ITVThe comedian strikes up abond with a litter ofcheetah cubs, meets a blackrhino calf at a rehabilitationcentre and follows effortsto release a baby baboon into the wild.

HOUSE OF FOOLS10pm, BBC2Julie entrusts Vic and Bob with the safety ofher prize pork pie, which she plans to offer toBruce Willis to persuade him to star in a filmbased on her best-selling novel. However,the housemates give in to temptation andeat it, so they set about stealing anotherfrom Ben Gunn’s Pork Emporium.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 CoronationStreet 7.25 You’ve Been Framed!7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The RealHousewives of Atlanta 10.30 TheReal Housewives of OrangeCounty 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale1.00 Coronation Street 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The RealHousewives of Orange County5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

11.35 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie dates afemale version ofhimself. Comedy,starring Charlie Sheen,Jon Cryer and Angus TJones.

12.05 Two and a Half Men (R).Alan denies shoplifting as a child.12.35 Totally Bonkers GuinnessWorld Records (R,HD). 1.05Totally Bonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,HD). 1.35 Ladette toLady: Australia (R). 2.25Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

THE TASTE9pm, Channel 4The 11 remaining cooks tryto impress the panel withcomfort food and prepare apie fit for Michelin-starredguest judge Michael Caines,before one of thecontestants is eliminated.

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THE NAKEDRAMBLER10.35pm, BBC1Former Royal MarineStephen Goughattempts to walknaked more than 400miles from Scotland tohis home in Eastleigh, Hampshire.


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6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 World’s Worst HolidayHorrors (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity BigBrother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S). 3.15 Film: Patricia Cornwell’s AtRisk (S) (2010). See Choices Above.●●●5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD). Kate decides to keep her distancefrom Kyle.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun(S,HD). The second GibraltarMusic Festival takes place andevents planner Monica Coumbehas to ensure stars includingEmeli Sande, Olly Murs andTexas are well looked after.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).19/22. A chance to catch upwith the latest action as thecelebrity contestants continueto live out their lives in front ofthe cameras, knowing it will allbe over soon.


10.00 Autopsy: Anna NicoleSmith’s Last Hours (S,HD). 3/3.Forensic pathologist Dr RichardShepherd investigates thedeath of the model and actress,who died in February 2007 atthe age of 39 from a drugoverdose. Last in the series.

HOUSE OF FOOLS10pm, BBC2Julie entrusts Vic and Bob with the safety ofher prize pork pie, which she plans to offer toBruce Willis to persuade him to star in a filmbased on her best-selling novel. However,the housemates give in to temptation andeat it, so they set about stealing anotherfrom Ben Gunn’s Pork Emporium.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 CoronationStreet 7.25 You’ve Been Framed!7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The RealHousewives of Atlanta 10.30 TheReal Housewives of OrangeCounty 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale1.00 Coronation Street 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The RealHousewives of Orange County5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R). Featuring a dog’sencounter with awhoopee cushion.


6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD).Jordan from Essex hopesto find love.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie dates afemale version ofhimself.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R). Alan deniesshoplifting as a child.

11.35 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie dates afemale version ofhimself. Comedy,starring Charlie Sheen,Jon Cryer and Angus TJones.

12.05 Two and a Half Men (R).Alan denies shoplifting as a child.12.35 Totally Bonkers GuinnessWorld Records (R,HD). 1.05Totally Bonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,HD). 1.35 Ladette toLady: Australia (R). 2.25Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 The World Is NotEnough (HD) (1999).James Bond is assignedto protect the heiress ofan oil dynasty after herfather is killed in abombing at MI6headquarters. The attackis the work of aninfamous terrorist who isunable to feel pain aftersurviving a gunshot tohis head, and who nowintends to destroy theworld’s supply of oil. Spyadventure, starringPierce Brosnan, RobertCarlyle, Sophie Marceauand Robbie Coltrane.Including FYI Daily.●●●●


6.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Comedy, starringJim Parsons.

6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00Glee 10.00 Made in Chelsea11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,HD). 12.30Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00Rules of Engagement 5.00 HowI Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Patrickbegs Dodger not toreveal the truth aboutSienna’s daughter.


8.00 Furry Vengeance (HD)(2010). Family comedy,starring Brendan Fraser,Brooke Shields and KenJeong.●●

10.55 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut(R,HD). See ChoicesAbove.

12.10 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldon tries to conceal hisfriendship with Penny fromLeonard. 12.40 Revenge (R,HD).1.40 Rude Tube: Total Fails(R,HD). 2.35 8 Out of 10 CatsUncut (R,HD). 3.15 The RickyGervais Show (R,HD). 3.40 Glee(R,HD). 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

9.50 Rude Tube: Total Fails(R,HD). Alex Zane countsdown 50 internet videohits in which thesubjects’ attempts toperform stunts ordemonstrate skills end indisaster, including anaspiring rapper whopasses out.

6.00Modern Family (R,S).Claire’s plans for afamily portrait do notgo smoothly.


6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 8.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0(R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0(R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama(R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S).5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30Modern Family (R,S).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

Another trilogy ofHalloween-inspiredstories.

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD).McGarrett andWo Fatnarrowly escape fromprison. Crime drama,with Alex O’Loughlinand Chi McBride, gueststarring Henry IanCusick.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). The teamcomes to the aid of Samand Deeks, who havebeen mercilesslytortured by Sidorov forinformation on thewhereabouts of anundercover Michelle.Starring Chris O’Donnell.

12.00 A League of Their Own:Unseen – Part One (R,HD). 1.00Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance(R,S,HD). 2.00 Road Wars (R,S).3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dogthe Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S).5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30Airline USA (R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn: Best Bits – PartOne (R,S,HD). Highlightsfrom the third series ofthe comedy panel show.

9.00 Ross Kemp: ExtremeWorld (S,HD). Newseries. The actor exposesstories of crime andhardship, beginning withsex trafficking in India,where young girls aretaken from their familiesand forced intoprostitution.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine. Foggy shows offhis orienteering skills.

6.40 Porridge. A middaycuppa causes a stir.

6.10 The Brittas Empire 6.40 To theManor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 TheBrittas Empire 10.30 Last of theSummer Wine 11.55 Porridge.12.35 Porridge 1.10 Harry Hill’s TVBurp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves andWooster 4.40 Keeping UpAppearances 5.20 Last of theSummer Wine

7.20 Porridge. Fletcherobjects to having a thirdcellmate foisted on him,especially as thenewcomer seems toenjoy special privileges.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.Comic view of theweek’s television.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Acomic view of CelebrityBig Brother.

10.20 Little Britain. Dafydddiscovers Myfanwy’ssecret, and Michaelmeets the Italian primeminister. Starring MattLucas and DavidWalliams.

11.00 Little Britain. EmilyHoward gets a newfriend. Narrated by TomBaker.

11.40 Little Britain. Bubblesspends too much timeunder the sunbed.

12.20 Come Fly with Me. TaajManzoor bumps into Harry Potterstar Rupert Grint, and Great BritishAir’s snobbiest employee is forcedto deal with passengers from thelower classes. 1.00 Little Britain.Ralph Patterson auditions for amusical. 1.30 Little Britain. 2.00Little Britain. 2.30 Little Britain.

9.00 Come Fly with Me. TaajManzoor bumps intoactor Rupert Grint. Spoofdocumentary, starringMatt Lucas and DavidWalliams.

9.40 Little Britain. RalphPatterson auditions for amusical.

6.00 Football’s GreatestInternational Teams(S,HD).

6.30 Premier LeagueReview (HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 7.00 Good Morning SportsFans (S,HD). 8.00 Good MorningSports Fans (S,HD). 9.00 MondayNight Football (HD). 11.30 SPFLRound-Up (HD). 12.00 FL72Review. 1.00 Soccer AM: TheBest Bits (HD). 2.00 MondayNight Football (HD). 4.30 FL72Review. 5.30 Football Gold(S,HD). 5.45 Football Gold (S).

7.30 Live Capital One CupFootball (HD). WestHam United vManchester City (kick-off7.45pm). Coverage of theopening semi-finalsecond-leg tie at UptonPark, where the hoststrail 6-0 following thefirst leg. The Hammershave beaten CheltenhamTown, Burnley, CardiffCity and TottenhamHotspur to reach thisstage, but they will needto produce the bestperformance of any sidein the country this seasonto prevent City fromreaching the final.

11.00 Football’s GreatestInternational Teams(S,HD).

11.30 Football Gold (S,HD).11.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

Manchester United vChelsea from 1999/2000.

12.00 Capital One Cup Football(HD). West Ham United vManchester City. 12.55 LiveInternational One-Day Cricket(HD). New Zealand v India.Coverage of the second contest inthe five-match series, held atSeddon Park, Hamilton.

10.00 Premier LeagueReview (HD). A lookback at recent fixtures inthe English PremierLeague, as the seasoncontinued with matchesaffecting both ends ofthe table.

THE TASTE9pm, Channel 4The 11 remaining cooks tryto impress the panel withcomfort food and prepare apie fit for Michelin-starredguest judge Michael Caines,before one of thecontestants is eliminated.

8 OUT OF 10 CATS UNCUT10.55pm, E4Team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardsonare joined by Roisin Conaty, Alex Brooker,Joe Wilkinson and Chris Ramsey to answerquestions based on opinion polls carried outaround the country, finding out who bestunderstands what is going on in Britaintoday. Jimmy Carr hosts.

11.40 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldoncompetes against actorWil Wheaton onceagain.

7.00Winter Wipeout(R,S). A bollardsalesman, afarmer and acomedian tacklethe winter-themed course.

8.00 Tough YoungTeachers(R,S,HD). The sizeof the trainees’task begins tosink in.

9.00 Growing UpDown’s (S,HD).Documentaryfollowing a groupof young actorswith Down’ssyndrome.

10.00 Bad Education(R,S,HD).

10.30 EastEnders(R,S,HD). Laurenrealises Jake hashit the bottleagain.


(R,S,HD).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30 GrowingUp Down’s (R,S,HD). 1.30Tough Young Teachers2.30 Bad Education 3.00Growing Up Down’s (R,S).

7.00World NewsToday (HD);Weather

7.30 ElephantDiaries (R).

8.00 Stories from theDark Earth:Meet theAncestorsRevisited (R).The excavationsof two vastlydifferent Iron Agewomen.

9.00 Rococo: Travel,Pleasure,Madness (HD).New series.Documentaryexploring the artmovement.

10.00 The Man WhoDiscoveredEgypt (R,HD).The life and workof VictorianadventurerFlinders Petrie.

11.00Wild China(R,HD).

12.00 China in Six EasyPieces (R,HD). 1.00 Storiesfrom the Dark Earth:Meet the AncestorsRevisited 2.00 The ManWho Discovered Egypt3.00 Rococo: Travel,Pleasure, Madness (R).

PATRICIACORNWELL’S AT RISK3.15pm, Channel 5A state police detectiveis recruited by a districtattorney to crack a20-year-old murdercase. Mystery, starringAndie MacDowell.

WHITE MISCHIEF11.55pm, BBC1A murder unsettles acolony of Britisharistocrats leading ahedonistic life in Kenyaduring the SecondWorld War. Drama,starring Charles Dance.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted DownUnder (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under theHammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs AreComing (S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter HeroesDown Under (R,S,HD). 12.15 BargainHunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather(S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather.1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Father Brown(HD). 3.00 Perfection (HD). 3.45 Escape tothe Country (HD). 4.30 Antiques RoadTrip (HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Matt Baker and Alex Jones.Followed by BBC News;Regional News.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather.6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.6.55 Party Political Broadcast

(R,S,HD). By the ConservativeParty.

8.00Waterloo Road (S,HD). 13/20.See Choices Above.

9.00 Crimewatch (S). Kirsty Youngpresents crime reports andreconstructions aimed atcracking Britain’s biggestunsolved cases and MartinBayfield has the latest CCTVfootage and wanted faces.


by National Lottery Update.10.35 Crimewatch Update (S). An

update on viewers’ responsesto the programme shownearlier.

10.45 A Question of Sport (S,HD).13/36. With Geoff Parling andFran Halsall.

11.15 The League Cup Show (S,HD).Highlights of the semi-finalsecond-leg matches, featuringManchester United vSunderland at Old Trafford andWest Ham United v ManchesterCity at Upton Park.

12.00 Film: Color of Night (S,HD) (1994).See Choices Above. ● 1.55 Weatherview(S,HD). 2.00 BBC News (S,HD).

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S).1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’sReal Deal (S). Items include a historicalsouvenir from York Minster. 3.00 The AlanTitchmarsh Show (S,HD). With Meera Syaland Mike Rutherford. 3.59 RegionalWeather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery(S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).


6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Robson’s Extreme FishingChallenge (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity BigBrother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S). Kidnappers strike on Halloween. 3.15Film: Shadow on the Mesa (S,HD) (2013).Western, starring Wes Brown and KevinSorbo. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). Theresidents are left devastated bynews of Hayley’s death.

7.30 The National TelevisionAwards 2014 (S,HD). Thebiggest names on the smallscreen gather at the O2 inLondon for the annualceremony celebrating the bestof British TV over the past 12months, as voted for by viewers.This year, Olivia Colman andDavid Tennant (Broadchurch),Benedict Cumberbatch(Sherlock), Idris Elba (Luther),Bradley Walsh (Law & Order:UK) and Suranne Jones (Scott &Bailey) battle it out in the newTV Detective category, andratings hit The Great BritishBake Off faces toughcompetition from Paul O’Grady:For the Love of Dogs, Top Gearand An Idiot Abroad to scoopthe Factual Entertainmenttrophy. See Choices Above.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather.6.25 Party Political Broadcast

(R,S). By the Conservative Party.6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S).6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Patrick begs

Dodger not to reveal the truthabout Sienna’s daughter.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Chris returns to the cult to tryto persuade Spencer to leave.


10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S); Weather.10.40 The Jonathan Ross Show

(R,S,HD). 3/10. The host isjoined by comedian and actorRussell Brand, X Factor hostDermot O’Leary, Birds of aFeather star Linda Robson andmusician James Blunt, who alsoperforms in the studio.

12.05 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chanceto participate in live interactive gamingfrom the comfort of their sofas, with a mixof roulette-wheel spins and lively chat fromthe presenting team. 3.00 Film: Columbo:Grand Deceptions (S) (1989). Crimedrama, starring Peter Falk. ●● 4.35 ITVNightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy KyleShow (R,S,HD).

7.00 News (S).

8.00 The Restoration Man (S,HD).4/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 3/8.An 89-year-old woman isbrought to King’s after a fall, a23-year-old groom-to-be isexamined following a seizureand a 57-year-old man reflectson the consequences of hisactions.

10.00 Children on the Frontline (S).See Choices Above.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Music on4: Launched at Red Bull Studios (S,HD).12.35 What Happens in Sunny Beach(R,S). 1.30 Film: Topaz (S,HD) (1969). SeeChoices Above. ●● 3.55 Amelia andMichael (R,S). 4.05 Phil Spencer: SecretAgent (R,S,HD). 5.00 Deal or No Deal(R,S,HD). 5.55 Baking Mad with EricLanlard (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Town the Travellers TookOver (R,S). Paul Connollyinvestigates a travellingcommunity in Co Limerick.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Terror in the Skies: ScariestFlights (R,S,HD). Hair-raisingaviation incidents, including aremarkable touchdown inWarsaw, a hijacking, an attemptto dislodge jammed landinggear and a nightmarish balloonride. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: LiveEviction (S,HD). 20/22. EmmaWillis presents as the number ofhousemates is whittled downahead of Friday’s final, andmeets the unlucky contestant –or contestants in the event of adouble eviction.

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Biton the Side (HD). 14/16. RylanClark and his guests discusstonight’s eviction, debatingwhether the public made theright decision.

10.30 Hens Behaving Badly (S,HD).3/3. A bride-to-be invites herlong-lost sister and futuremother-in-law to go out inManchester, while anotherparties in Newcastle beforeemigrating to Australia. Last inthe series.

12.20 The Big Game (S,HD). Poker game inwhich amateurs compete against world-class professionals. 1.15 SuperCasino. Liveinteractive gaming. 3.05 Botched UpBodies (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S).Sprucing up a London property. 4.20House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s WildChallenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S).5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).7.00 Sheriffs Are Coming (HD). 7.45Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD).8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies &Puds (R,S). 9.00 Great ContinentalRailway Journeys (R,S). 10.00 KangarooDundee (R,S). 10.30 See Hear (S). 11.00BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 Daily Politics (S).1.00 Lifeline (R,S,HD). 1.10 LiveInternational Bowls (S). 5.10 Flog It!5.55 Party Political Broadcast (S,HD).

7.00 The Great Interior DesignChallenge (S,HD). 3/12.Transforming the sun rooms ofthree art deco homes inBeckenham, south-eastLondon.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD).6.30 Great British Railway

Journeys (S,HD). 13/20.Michael Portillo travels fromWokingham to Bradford onAvon.

8.00Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 3/4.The team examines howgarden birds around the UK arecoping with the harsh season,and Martin Hughes-Gamesbraves the icy River Dee toexplore the habitats of ottersand dippers.

9.00Winterwatch Unsprung 2014(S,HD). A discussion on issuesraised in the main programme.

9.30 Russia on Four Wheels(S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.


11.20 The Search for Alfred theGreat (R,S,HD). A team tryingto locate the remains of the9th-century English king.

11.40 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands(R,S,HD). 2/8. The lives of aproperty developer and a LadyGaga tribute act.

11.00 Benefits Street (R,S). 3/5.Documentary following thelives of people who are heavilyreliant on welfare payments,revealing the daily challengesthey face in tough economictimes.

12.20 International Bowls (S). The WorldIndoor Championships. Action from theLadies’ Singles semi-finals and the OpenSingles second-round matches at thePotters Leisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea,Norfolk. 1.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S).1.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes from BBC Two. 4.00BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

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Crimewatch, 9pm Russia on Four Wheels, 9.30pm Coronation Street, 7pm 24 Hours in A&E, 9pm Hens Behaving Badly, 10.30pm

RUSSIA ON FOUR WHEELS9.30pm, BBC2Justin Rowlatt and Anita Rani conclude theirseparate road trips across Russia from Sochi. InSt Petersburg, Anita encounters migrantworkers and gay rights protesters beforeheading north to meet entrepreneursharvesting caviar from sturgeon and endingher journey in Murmansk.

THE NATIONALTELEVISION AWARDS20147.30pm, ITVThe biggest names on the smallscreen gather at the O2 inLondon for the annualceremony celebrating the BritishTV over the past 12 months. Dermot O’Leary hosts.

CHILDREN ON THE FRONTLINE10pm, Channel 4This Dispatches documentary tells the storiesof five youngsters whose lives have beenchanged for ever by the conflict – siblingsHelen, Farah, Sara and Mohammed, whosefather is a rebel commander, and Aboude, asinger and poster boy for the Syrian uprising.Narrated by James D’Arcy.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25Holiday Airport (R). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R). 8.30 DinnerDate (R,HD). 9.30 Real Housewivesof Atlanta 10.30 Real Housewivesof Orange County (HD). 11.30Millionaire Matchmaker (HD). 12.30Emmerdale (HD). 1.00 The Cube(HD). 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10Real Housewives of Orange County

10.00 The MagalufWeekender (R,HD).Bournemouth-basedbrothers Ryan and Louishead to the Lively Hotelwith their best friendJohn, and head repImogen loses patiencewith her colleagues.



12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).12.45 The Magaluf Weekender(R,HD). 1.45 The Jeremy KyleShow USA (R). The host takes hissuccessful talk show stateside,where he invites American gueststo air their differences. 2.25Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 Benidorm (R,HD). Liamdecides he has fallen inlove with Bianca, Donaldand Jacqueline receivesad news about theirfriend Big Donna andMartin Weedon arrivesat the resort for a stagdo. Guest starringNicholas Burns.

THE RESTORATION MAN8pm, Channel 4George Clarke meets buildersIan and Jayne Hall Edwards,who want to turn a derelictVictorian school in Pencader,Carmarthenshire, into aplace of business and afamily home.

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WATERLOO ROAD8pm, BBC1Gabriella continues tomake more enemiesthan friends, Christinestruggles with heremotions as Connorleaves, and Nikkiprepares for a visit from her daughter Eve.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Robson’s Extreme FishingChallenge (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity BigBrother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S). Kidnappers strike on Halloween. 3.15Film: Shadow on the Mesa (S,HD) (2013).Western, starring Wes Brown and KevinSorbo. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Town the Travellers TookOver (R,S). Paul Connollyinvestigates a travellingcommunity in Co Limerick.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Terror in the Skies: ScariestFlights (R,S,HD). Hair-raisingaviation incidents, including aremarkable touchdown inWarsaw, a hijacking, an attemptto dislodge jammed landinggear and a nightmarish balloonride. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: LiveEviction (S,HD). 20/22. EmmaWillis presents as the number ofhousemates is whittled downahead of Friday’s final, andmeets the unlucky contestant –or contestants in the event of adouble eviction.

12.20 The Big Game (S,HD). Poker game inwhich amateurs compete against world-class professionals. 1.15 SuperCasino. Liveinteractive gaming. 3.05 Botched UpBodies (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S).Sprucing up a London property. 4.20House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s WildChallenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S).5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

CHILDREN ON THE FRONTLINE10pm, Channel 4This Dispatches documentary tells the storiesof five youngsters whose lives have beenchanged for ever by the conflict – siblingsHelen, Farah, Sara and Mohammed, whosefather is a rebel commander, and Aboude, asinger and poster boy for the Syrian uprising.Narrated by James D’Arcy.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25Holiday Airport (R). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R). 8.30 DinnerDate (R,HD). 9.30 Real Housewivesof Atlanta 10.30 Real Housewivesof Orange County (HD). 11.30Millionaire Matchmaker (HD). 12.30Emmerdale (HD). 1.00 The Cube(HD). 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10Real Housewives of Orange County

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R). Naughty animalsand crazy teenagers.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R). Harry Hill narratescamcorder calamities.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Aman from London takeson the challenge.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie and Alanthrow a party for theirmother.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R). Alan meets hisdream girl.

10.00 The MagalufWeekender (R,HD).Bournemouth-basedbrothers Ryan and Louishead to the Lively Hotelwith their best friendJohn, and head repImogen loses patiencewith her colleagues.



12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).12.45 The Magaluf Weekender(R,HD). 1.45 The Jeremy KyleShow USA (R). The host takes hissuccessful talk show stateside,where he invites American gueststo air their differences. 2.25Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 Benidorm (R,HD). Liamdecides he has fallen inlove with Bianca, Donaldand Jacqueline receivesad news about theirfriend Big Donna andMartin Weedon arrivesat the resort for a stagdo. Guest starringNicholas Burns.



6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 (HD).7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed9.00 Glee (HD). 10.00 Made inChelsea (R,HD). 11.00 Charmed(R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement(HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (HD). 1.00How I Met Your Mother (HD).2.00 The Big Bang Theory (HD).3.00 Made in Chelsea (HD). 4.00Rules of Engagement (HD). 5.00How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Patricktries to fix hisrelationship withSienna.


8.00 The Big Bang Theory:Access All Areas(R,HD). A visit to thecomedy’s set inHollywood.


10.00 Rude Tube (R,HD). AlexZane presents popularonline videos on thetheme of dumb anddangerous, featuringunwitting contributorsto their own downfalland others seekinginternet glory.

12.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). 12.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,HD). 1.00 2 Broke Girls(R,HD). 1.30 The IT Crowd (R).2.00 The IT Crowd (R). 2.25 TheRicky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.50Rude Tube (R,HD). 3.45 Glee(R,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,HD).Guest starring singer Adele.

9.00 The Tomorrow People(HD). Astrid tries torevive Stephen’s sociallife by taking him to aparty, but he becomesdistracted when herealises one of hisclassmates is in avulnerable state.

6.00Modern Family (R).Comedy following threedysfunctionalhouseholds.


6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 7.00 Modern Family (R,S).8.00 All Aboard (R,S,HD). 9.00Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 ALeague of Their Own (R,S,HD).3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 TheSimpsons (R,S). 5.30 ModernFamily (R,S).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). MrsKrabappel looks forlove.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).Homer fears theapocalypse is imminent.

8.00 Ashley Banjo’s BigTown Dance (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

10.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). Karl Pilkingtonanswers important lifequestions, beginningwith the relevance ofmarriage today,exploring arrangedmarriages in India andceremonies in Las Vegas.

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). 1.00 NightCops (R,S,HD). The work of policeofficers across the UK. 2.00 BritCops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD).3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S).4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD).5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn: Unseen – PartOne (R,HD). Host JamesCorden introducesunused footage fromthe third series of thesports-based comedyquiz.

9.00 The Kumars (S,HD).Comedy chat show whichsees the family invitethree of Britain’s best-loved acting talents,Rupert Everett, RayWinstone and DianaRigg, into their home.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine. Compo makes abet.

6.40 Porridge. The inmatesstage a mock trial.

6.10 Brittas Empire 6.45 To theManor Born 7.25 As Time GoesBy 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10Keeping Up Appearances 9.50Brittas Empire 10.30 Last of theSummer Wine 11.50 Porridge1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 Tothe Manor Born 2.55 As TimeGoes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster4.40 Keeping Up Appearances5.20 Last of the Summer Wine.

7.20 Porridge. The inmatesdecide on a wager as theparole board gathers,with Blanco odds-onfavourite for release.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.The quirky comic giveshis take on Wild atHeart.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.Comic view of NickBaker’s Weird Creatures.

10.15 Little Britain. Emily andFlorence go to the balletand the Fat Fighterscelebrate Christmas. Loutries to dissuade Andyfrom his unconventionalchoice of outfit for achurch service.

10.55 Little Britain. Emily andFlorence play tennis.

11.30 Little Britain. Dafyddwatches a rugby match,while Lou and Andy goto the beach. Quirkysketch show, starringDavid Walliams andMatt Lucas.

12.05 Come Fly with Me. 12.45Little Britain. Emily and Florenceshop for wedding dresses, andwhen Lou’s van is blocked in at thecar park Andy is upset that he isgoing to miss My Hero. 1.15 LittleBritain. 1.45 Little Britain. Emilyand Florence go to the ballet. 2.15Little Britain

9.00 Come Fly with Me.Penny gets a visit from amember of the royalhousehold.

9.40 Little Britain. Emily andFlorence shop forwedding dresses.

6.00 Football League Gold(S,HD).

6.30 Football Gold (S).6.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

6.00 Live International One-DayCricket (HD). New Zealand v India.9.30 Coppa Italia Football. 10.30Revista De La Liga Special (HD).1.30 Capital One Cup Football(HD). 2.30 Revista De La LigaSpecial (HD). 5.30 Football’sGreatest International Teams(S,HD). A look at some of thegreatest teams in the history of thegame.

7.00 Live Capital One CupFootball (HD).Manchester United vSunderland (Kick-off7.45pm). Coverage of theconcluding semi-finalsecond-leg tie at OldTrafford, where the line-up for the final isdecided. Despite theirlowly status in thePremier League,Sunderland hold a 2-1lead from the first legthanks to a Ryan Giggsown goal and a FabioBorini penalty either sideof Nemanja Vidic’sheader, and United’srecent struggles in frontof their own fans willgive the Black Cats hopeof progressing.

11.00 Football Gold (S).11.15 Football Gold (S,HD).11.30 Football Gold (S,HD).

West Ham United vTottenham Hotspur fromthe 2006/07 season.

11.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

12.00 Capital One Cup Football(HD). 1.00 What’s the Story? (HD).2.00 Football League Gold (HD).2.15 Football League Gold (HD).2.30 Live Tour Down UnderCycling (HD). 4.30 What’s theStory? (HD). 5.30 Football LeagueGold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold(HD).

10.00What’s the Story? (HD).Sarah-Jane Mee presentsa discussion showfocusing on recent sportsdevelopments.

Benidorm, 9pm Rude Tube, 10pm The Kumars, 9pm Last of the Summer ... 6pm Live Cup Football, 7pm

THE RESTORATION MAN8pm, Channel 4George Clarke meets buildersIan and Jayne Hall Edwards,who want to turn a derelictVictorian school in Pencader,Carmarthenshire, into aplace of business and afamily home.

ASHLEY BANJO’S BIG TOWN DANCE8pm, Sky1Ashley and his fellow Diversity memberscontinue to teach the people of Stockton-on-Tees how to dance, assembling a group fromthe business sector. They are keen to give ittheir all but with everyone working aroundthe clock, finding the time to rehearse theircomplex routine is proving tough.

11.00 The Inbetweeners (R).Carli organises a fashionshow.

11.35 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldon invites afamous physicist to theflat.

7.00 Pop’s GreatestDance Crazes(R,S).

7.05 Great MovieMistakes IV:May the FourthBe with You(R,S).

7.50 The Chroniclesof Narnia: TheLion, the Witchand theWardrobe (S,HD)(2005). Fantasyadventure,starring TildaSwinton. ●●●●

10.00 Sun, Sex andSuspiciousParents:Thailand(R,S,HD).


(R,S,HD).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). Roger sellsSenator Buckingham’sdaughter to a drug lord.12.30 Russell Howard’sGood News (R,S,HD). 1.00Russell Howard’s GoodNews (R,S,HD). 1.30 Uncle(R,S,HD). 2.00 Growing UpDown’s (R,S,HD). 3.00 Liveat the Electric (R,S,HD).3.30 Uncle (R,S).

7.00World NewsToday (HD);Weather.

7.30 ElephantDiaries (R).

8.00 GrammarSchools: ASecret History.The storiesbehind some ofBritain’s mostsuccessful schools.

9.00 HiddenHistories:Britain’s OldestFamilyBusinesses (HD).The work of anestablishedregalia company.

10.00 Treasures ofAncient Egypt(R,HD). Art fromone of AncientEgypt’s mostopulent eras.

11.00 Seamus Heaney– Out of theMarvellous.

12.15 Narnia’s Lost Poet:The Secret Lives andLoves of CS Lewis (R,HD).1.15 Britain by Bike (R).1.45 Grammar Schools: ASecret History (R). 2.45Hidden Histories:Britain’s Oldest FamilyBusinesses (R).

TOPAZ1.30am, Channel 4A CIA operative and aFrench secret agentinvestigate Sovietespionage. AlfredHitchcock’s spy thriller,starring FrederickStafford and Dany Robin.

COLOR OF NIGHT12am, BBC1A psychiatrist suspectssomeone in his patienttherapy group isresponsible for themurder of a close friend.Psychological thriller,with Bruce Willis.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Underthe Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 The SheriffsAre Coming (S,HD). 11.45 HelicopterHeroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather(S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather.1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown(R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topicalstories from around the UK.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). A drunkenJake crashes his car. Followedby BBC News; Regional News.


8.00 Hidden Kingdoms (S,HD). 2/3.See Choices Above.

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 7/10.See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 17/38.

David Dimbleby chairs a debatefrom Dundee, where a panel ofguests faces topical questionsfrom the audience.

11.35 This Week (S). Andrew Neiland guests discuss political andparliamentary developmentsfrom the past seven days.

12.20 Skiing Weatherview (S,HD). 12.25BBC News (S,HD).

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S).1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’sReal Deal (S). The team travels to Carlisle,Cumbria. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show(S,HD). With Richard Ward and MyleeneKlass. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 TheChase (S,HD).

6.20 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites(S,HD). 6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S).11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses(R,S,HD). 12.00 News (S). 12.05 ComeDine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place inthe Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal(S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction(R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD).1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S).3.15 Film: Carnal Innocence (S) (2011).See Choices Above.●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). As Gemis taken away for psychiatric evaluation,Kate drops a bombshell.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD).7.30 The Rise of the E-Cigarette:

Tonight (S,HD). The debatesurrounding electroniccigarettes.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22.Marge and Homer go on asecond honeymoon.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Indirealises she needs to make afresh start away from SummerBay.


10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Weight Loss Ward (R,S,HD).

3/3. At Sunderland RoyalHospital’s obesity unit, DoreenThomas spends her first nightaway from home in 37 yearsand the 56-year-old makes asurprising decision. Last in theseries.

12.30 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chanceto participate in live interactive gamingfrom the comfort of their sofas, with a mixof roulette-wheel spins and lively chat fromthe presenting team. 3.00 The Rise of theE-Cigarette: Tonight (R,HD). 3.25 ITVNightscreen (HD). Text-based informationservice. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S).Guests air their differences.

7.00 News (S).

8.00 Supersize vs Superskinny(S,HD). 3/8. A junk-food addictswaps diets with a great-grandmother who lives on eggand toast, and EmmaWoolfreports on dedicated hospitalin-patient care for people witheating disorders.

9.00 The Undateables (S,HD). 3/4.A catch-up with contributorsfrom previous editions,including 30-year-old Kate,who was set up on a blind datelast year, and 27-year-oldMichael, who is now in arelationship.

10.00 What Happens in SunnyBeach (S). 3/3. Friendships aretested and blood is spilled asthe relentless hedonism of theBulgarian seaside resort takesits toll on young holiday-makers who swap sun and seafor A&E. Last in the series.

12.05 One Born Every Minute (R,S,HD).1.00 Random Acts (S). 1.05 Ramsay’sKitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 2.00 TheFat Fighters (R,S,HD). 2.55 Fat FamilyTree (R,S,HD). 3.50 Food Unwrapped(R,S). 4.20 Are You Addicted to Sugar?Channel 4 Dispatches (R,S). 4.50 HealthFreaks (R,S,HD). 5.15 SuperScrimpers(R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD).Documentary followingsnowplough teams and RACpatrols. Followed by 5 NewsUpdate.

8.00 World’s Worst HolidayHorrors (S,HD). A Northamptonfamily’s amphibious tourvehicle catches fire. Last in theseries. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD).21/22. The last chance to catchup with the famouscontestants’ antics before theimpending final, includinganother chance to see theirreactions to Wednesday’seviction.


10.00 Botched Up Bodies (S,HD).3/3. See Choices Above.

12.00 SuperCasino. Viewers get thechance to take part in live interactivegaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spinsand lively chat from the presenting team.3.05 True CSI (R,S). 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS(R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 HomesUnder the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 TheSheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD).8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies &Puds (R,S). 9.05 Tudor Monastery Farm(R,S). 10.05 Kangaroo Dundee (R,S). 10.35HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News(S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD).12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 LiveInternational Bowls 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

7.00 The Great Interior DesignChallenge (S,HD). 4/12.Transforming the sitting roomsof neighbouring homes in aconverted mill.


6.30 Great British RailwayJourneys (S,HD). 14/20.Michael Portillo travels fromChippenham to Gloucester.

8.00 Restoration Home One YearOn (S,HD). 1/3. New series.Kieran Long revisits twoprojects previously featured onthe programme – an arts andcrafts home near Dundee and a16th-century timber-framedproperty in Warwickshire.

9.00 Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 4/4.The urban foxes’ breedingseason gets under way, and theteam heads into theCairngorms’ uplands, home togolden eagles, mountain haresand red grouse. Last in theseries.

10.00 Charlie Brooker’s WeeklyWipe (S,HD). 3/6. Thebroadcaster offers a satiricallook at the latest news frompolitics, the media and theinternet, casting a critical eyeover trends in TV, cinema andsocial media.


11.20 Russia on Four Wheels(R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two.Justin Rowlatt and Anita Raniset off on road trips acrossRussia.

11.35 Strictly Kosher (R,S,HD). 1/2.Part one of two. Documentaryabout Manchester’s Jewishcommunity.

11.05 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 3/8.A 23-year-old groom-to-be isexamined following a seizure.

12.20 International Bowls (S). 1.20 SignZone: Police: Shooting to Kill? –Panorama (R,S). The controversysurrounding police firearms units. 1.50Sign Zone: Iceland Foods: Life in theFreezer Cabinet (R,S). MalcolmWalkerrelaunches the business. Last in the series.2.50 This Is BBC Two (S). 3.55 BBCLearning Zone (S,HD).

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8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Aliconfronts Jai after finding herhouse trashed.

8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 4/8.See Choices Above.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 4/7.See Choices Above.

Question Time, 10.35pm Charlie Brooker’s Weekly … 10pm Emmerdale, 7pm Supersize vs Superskinny, 8pm Winter Road Rescue, 7pm

HIDDEN KINGDOMS8pm, BBC1Documentary following a young tree shrew asit darts through the rainforest of Borneo onthe lookout for food, and a male chipmunkcollecting acorns in preparation for winter.Including Hidden Kingdoms Revealed, abehind-the-scenes report on how theprogramme was made.

BENIDORM9pm, ITVFollowing the stag do, bestman Martin wakes up inbed with Bianca – whoreveals her true age – whileKenneth has a crisis at thesalon and Joyce sets up avolleyball court.

BIRDS OF A FEATHER8.30pm, ITVTracey, Sharon and Dorien become involvedwith three very different men, while Travishas romantic troubles of his own. However,everyone’s relationship hopes take a knockwhen Garth and Marcie organise a pop-uprestaurant evening at the house to fund therefurbishment of their new pub.

6.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 6.25Holiday Showdown (R). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R). 10.30 The RealHousewives of Orange County (R,HD).12.30 Coronation Street (R,HD). 1.00The Cube (R,HD). 2.00 The JeremyKyle Show (R). 4.10 The RealHousewives of Orange County (HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD).

10.00 Fake Reaction (HD).With Louis Smith, KateNash, Alex Brooker andBobby Mair.

10.50 Mom (R). Comedy,starring Anna Faris andAllison Janney. A formeralcoholic tries to get herlife back on track.

11.20 Mom (R). Christy andBonnie work through afamily crisis.

11.50 Two and a Half Men(R). Denise Richardsguest stars.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).Charlie writes the theme song for acartoon based on one of Jake’sfavourite comics, but the youngsterdoes not think the music is right forthe project. 12.50 Plebs (R,HD).1.20 Tricked (R,HD). 2.15Teleshopping. 5.45 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

BOTCHED UP BODIES10pm, Channel 5Surgeons help a woman whonearly died after undergoingcut-price breast surgery inPrague, and a man left baldand scarred after sixattempted hair transplants.Last in the series.

BBC1

SILENT WITNESS9pm, BBC1A teenage girl’s body isfound in a suitcase andthe investigation takesa shocking turn whenNikki and Jack revealthe victim’s baby wascut from her womb.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction(R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD).1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S).3.15 Film: Carnal Innocence (S) (2011).See Choices Above.●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). As Gemis taken away for psychiatric evaluation,Kate drops a bombshell.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Indirealises she needs to make afresh start away from SummerBay.


7.00 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD).Documentary followingsnowplough teams and RACpatrols. Followed by 5 NewsUpdate.

8.00 World’s Worst HolidayHorrors (S,HD). A Northamptonfamily’s amphibious tourvehicle catches fire. Last in theseries. Followed by 5 News at 9.


12.00 SuperCasino. Viewers get thechance to take part in live interactivegaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spinsand lively chat from the presenting team.3.05 True CSI (R,S). 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS(R,S).

BIRDS OF A FEATHER8.30pm, ITVTracey, Sharon and Dorien become involvedwith three very different men, while Travishas romantic troubles of his own. However,everyone’s relationship hopes take a knockwhen Garth and Marcie organise a pop-uprestaurant evening at the house to fund therefurbishment of their new pub.

6.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 6.25Holiday Showdown (R). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R). 10.30 The RealHousewives of Orange County (R,HD).12.30 Coronation Street (R,HD). 1.00The Cube (R,HD). 2.00 The JeremyKyle Show (R). 4.10 The RealHousewives of Orange County (HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD).


7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R). Harry Hill narrates aselection of camcordercalamities.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD).Gemma from Kenthopes to find love.Narrated by CharlotteHudson.


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie writes thetheme song for acartoon.

10.00 Fake Reaction (HD).With Louis Smith, KateNash, Alex Brooker andBobby Mair.

10.50 Mom (R). Comedy,starring Anna Faris andAllison Janney. A formeralcoholic tries to get herlife back on track.

11.20 Mom (R). Christy andBonnie work through afamily crisis.


12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).Charlie writes the theme song for acartoon based on one of Jake’sfavourite comics, but the youngsterdoes not think the music is right forthe project. 12.50 Plebs (R,HD).1.20 Tricked (R,HD). 2.15Teleshopping. 5.45 ITV2Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 Tricked (R,HD). Formerfootballer RobbieSavage is in for anexpensive surprise whenmagician Ben Hanlinmesses with his £150,000supercar, and Amy Childshas a shock.


6.30 The Big Bang Theory(HD). Sheldon arrangeshis first-ever date.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 90210(R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD).7.55 Charmed (R). 8.55 Glee10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD).11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,HD). 12.30Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How IMet Your Mother 2.00 Big BangTheory 3.00 Made in Chelsea4.00 Rules of Engagement 5.00How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Nancybegs Maxine for answers.

7.35 How I Met YourMother (R,HD). Teddates a youngerwoman.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldonpunishes Leonard for apast mistake.

8.30 The Big Bang Theory(HD). Comedy, starringJim Parsons and KaleyCuoco.

10.00 The Midnight Beast(HD). New series. Thetrio organise a birthdayparty.

10.30 The Inbetweeners (R).Carli organises a fashionshow. Comedy, starringEmily Head, Joe Thomas,Simon Bird and JamesBuckley.

12.10 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Penny gets drunk andseduces Leonard. 12.35 The BigBang Theory (R,HD). 1.05Revenge (R,HD). 2.00 The RickyGervais Show (R,HD). 2.25 TheCleveland Show (R,HD). 2.50One Tree Hill (R,HD). 3.30 Glee(R,HD). 4.15 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(HD). Jake is assigned toa minor graffiti case.American comedy,starring Andy Samberg.

9.30 2 Broke Girls (HD). Maxapplies to a pastry schoolin Manhattan. Gueststarring Gilles Marini.

6.00 Modern Family (R).Comedy following threedysfunctionalhouseholds.


6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 7.00 Modern Family (R).8.00 Football’s FunniestMoments (R,S,HD). 9.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League ofTheir Own (R,S,HD). 3.30Futurama (R,S). 4.30 Simpsons(R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).Homer invents a newdrink.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).Bart sees into the future.

8.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). Phil agrees tosell the old stationwagon.

8.30 Modern Family(R,S,HD). Jay’s friendsexamine his approach tofatherhood.

10.00 Ross Kemp: ExtremeWorld (R,S,HD).See Choices Above.

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). 1.00 NightCops (R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops:Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 3.00Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog theBounty Hunter (R,S). Trackingfugitives. 4.30 Dog the BountyHunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA(R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA(R,S,HD).

11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (HD). Chinawakes to find he hasbeen kidnapped andtransported to Halawaprison, where he hopesnot to be recognised bythe inmates he is partlyresponsible for convicting.

9.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). Karl Pilkingtonanswers important lifequestions, beginningwith the relevance ofmarriage today,exploring arrangedmarriages in India andceremonies in Las Vegas.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine. Compo takesNora for a ride.

6.40 Porridge. Godberrevises for an exam.

6.10 Brittas Empire 6.40 To theManor Born 7.20 As Time GoesBy 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10Keeping Up Appearances 9.50Brittas Empire 10.30 Last of theSummer Wine 11.55 Porridge1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 Tothe Manor Born 2.50 As TimeGoes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster4.40 Keeping Up Appearances5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

7.20 Porridge. Godber getsinto a fight. Finalepisode of the classiccomedy, starring RonnieBarker and RichardBeckinsale.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Aquirky review of small-screen highlights.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.The comic reviews HolbyCity and Dancing on Ice.

10.20 Little Britain. RichardMadeley and JudyFinnigan guest star, asLou and Andy play YouSay, We Pay, Sebastianserenades the primeminister, and Don andPat visit an Indianrestaurant.

11.00 Little Britain. FatFighters welcomes acelebrity addition.

11.40 Little Britain. Emily andFlorence hit the town fora hen night.

12.20 Come Fly with Me.Immigration officer Ian Foot pullsTaaj in for questioning andFearghal takes desperate measuresto be nominated for Steward of theYear. Anna Friel and GermaineGreer guest star. 1.00 Little Britain1.30 Little Britain 2.00 LittleBritain 2.30 Little Britain

9.00 Come Fly with Me.Guest starring Anna Frieland Germaine Greer.

9.40 Little Britain. Dafyddworks as a rent boy andVicky shows off herdancing skills, whileFlorence and Emily tackletheir facial hair.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine, includinghighlights of recentbouts and interviewswith the stars currentlycausing a stir in the ring.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 8.00 Good Morning SportsFans (S,HD). 9.00 Capital One CupFootball (HD). 10.00 Coppa ItaliaFootball. 11.00 Copa Del ReyFootball (HD). 12.00 Copa DelRey Football (HD). 1.00 What’sthe Story? (HD). 2.00 FootballGold (S). 2.15 Football Gold (S).2.30 Live Dubai InternationalRacing Carnival (HD).

7.00 Capital One CupFootball (HD).Manchester United vSunderland.

7.55 Live Copa Del ReyFootball (HD). Coverageof a quarter-final first-leg encounter (Kick-offTBA), as Spain’s biggestdomestic cupcompetition continues.

11.00 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine, includinghighlights of recentbouts and interviewswith the stars.

12.00 NFL – A Football Life (HD).1.00 Capital One Cup Football(HD). 2.00 Football Gold. 2.15Football Gold. 2.30 Live TourDown Under Cycling (HD). Stagefour of the annual race fromAdelaide. 4.30 Ringside (HD). 5.30Football Gold (HD) 5.45 FootballGold (S).

10.00 Capital One CupFootball (HD).Manchester United vSunderland. Action fromthe concluding semi-finalsecond-leg tie at OldTrafford, where the line-up for the final wasdecided.

Tricked, 9pm 2 Broke Girls, 9.30pm Karl Pilkington… 9pm Harry Hill’s TV Burp, 8pm Ringside, 6pm

BOTCHED UP BODIES10pm, Channel 5Surgeons help a woman whonearly died after undergoingcut-price breast surgery inPrague, and a man left baldand scarred after sixattempted hair transplants.Last in the series.

ROSS KEMP: EXTREME WORLD10pm, Sky1The actor and his documentary team exposestories of crime and hardship around theworld, beginning with sex trafficking in India.Ross visits the notorious red-light district ofMumbai, where secretly filmed footagereveals not only the scale of the industry buthow young some of the girls trapped in it are.

11.05 The IT Crowd (R). Jenintroduces the guys to asocial networkingwebsite.

11.35 The IT Crowd (R).Reynholm Industriesunveils a nude calendar.

7.00 Top Gear(R,S,HD).

8.00 Motorway Cops(R,S). Trafficpolice enforce thelaw on Britain’smost dangeroushighways.

9.00 Tough YoungTeachers (S,HD).Meryl risks losingher job.

10.00 Live at theApollo (R,S,HD).Rich Hall hoststhe stand-upshow.

10.30 EastEnders(R,S,HD). Adrunken Jakecrashes his car.

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).Meg becomesMayor West’sintern.

11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S,HD).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.35 Sun, Sexand Suspicious Parents:Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.30Tough Young Teachers(R,S,HD). Meryl risks losingher job. 2.30 Live at theElectric (R,S,HD). 3.00Tough Young Teachers(R,S).

7.00 World NewsToday (HD);Weather.

7.30 Top of the Pops:1979 (R). PeterPowell presentsan edition fromJanuary 18, 1979.

8.00 Ever DecreasingCircles (R).Martin spots ahalf-nakedwoman in Paul’sgarden.

8.30 London on Film:The West End(R). Archivefootage of thecity’s West End.

9.00 Treasures ofAncient Egypt(HD).

10.00 Lost Land of theVolcano (R,HD).

11.00 Stories from theDark Earth:Meet theAncestorsRevisited (R).

12.00 Rococo: Travel,Pleasure, Madness (R,HD).1.00 Top of the Pops:1979 (R,HD). 1.40 EverDecreasing Circles (R).2.10 Lost Land of theVolcano (R,HD). 3.10Treasures of AncientEgypt (R,HD).

CARNAL INNOCENCE3.15pm, Channel 5World-famous musician Caroline Waverly moves back to her quiethome town, hoping to establish a simpler life. However, her returncoincides with a spate of killings, and as rumours spread that aserial killer is on the loose, she begins to worry she may be the nextvictim. Thriller based on Nora Roberts’ novel, starring GabrielleAnwar, Colin Egglesfield, Pancho Demmings, Andrew W Walker,Jud Taylor, Jennifer Taylor, Drew James, Antonio D Charity.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Underthe Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The SheriffsAre Coming (S,HD). 11.45 HelicopterHeroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt(S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.40Doctors 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to theCountry (R,S,HD). 4.30 Antiques RoadTrip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Chris Evans and Alex Jones.

7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD).With Geoff Parling and FranHalsall. Followed by BBC News;Regional News.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather6.30 Regional News (S); Weather

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Lindasuggests Mick should ask hisfather for some cash.

8.30 Room 101 (S,HD). 1/8. SeeChoices Above.

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 8/10.Part two of two. As Nikki helpsthe victim’s father come toterms with his daughter’s deathand his missing babygranddaughter, the soleeyewitness to the murder isfound dead in suspiciouscircumstances.


by National Lottery Update.10.35 The Graham Norton Show

(S,HD). 14/21. Graham bringstogether another group ofcelebrity guests for a mix oflight-hearted chat and music.

11.25 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus.Max confronts Jake, convincedLauren is pregnant, the Cartersare annoyed to discover Nancyis still seeing Wayne, and Katneeds help with a delivery.


11

12

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S).1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’sReal Deal (S). David Dickinson heads toLiverpool’s Anglican Cathedral. 3.00 TheAlan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). Features,music and conversation. 3.59 RegionalWeather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery(S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).


6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.20 The Mentalist (R,S). Theagents arrest a hitman in connection with amurder. 3.15 Film: Murder 101: CollegeCan Be Murder (S) (2007). Murder mystery,starring Dick Van Dyke.●●● 5.00 5 Newsat 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Ali forcesMegan to listen as she explainshow Declan set Rachel up.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Royopens the cafe as he tries towork through his grief.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22.Homer becomes a maskedvigilante.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Nancy begsMaxine for answers.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).John gets a call from the Navyabout Winston and Harvey.


10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S); Weather.10.40 The Americans (R,S,HD). 5/13.

The FBI employs a revolutionarynew surveillance device to tryto uncover a distressed KGBagent, so the Jennings attemptto defeat the system and reachtheir comrade.

12.25 Jackpot247. 3.00 Film: Best inShow (S,HD) (2000). Seven oddball dog-lovers take their pampered pups to thevenue of a prestigious Philadelphia dogshow, where their desperation to win firstprize outweighs any consideration for theirfellow human competitors. Spoofdocumentary, starring Eugene Levy.●●●●4.30 ITV Nightscreen (HD).

7.00 News (S).

8.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s FridayNight Feast (S,HD). 3/6.Amanda Holden rustles up amoussaka, Jamie Oliverprepares two-way chicken andJimmy Doherty tries his hand atDIY kebabs. Plus, a recipe formaid of honour tarts.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown (S). 4/4. SeeChoices Above.

10.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Holiday(R,S,HD). Following members ofthe travelling communityplanning trips abroad, from abride-to-be going to Mexico forher honeymoon, to a young girlmaking a religious pilgrimageto Bosnia.

1.30 Random Acts (S,HD). A waltz withdeath, created by artist filmmaker Rankin.1.35 Film: Thirst (HD) (2009). Horror fromthe director of Oldboy, starring Kang-hoSong and Ok-vin Kim.●●● 3.50 Don’tTrust the B**** in Apartment 23 (S,HD).4.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD).5.05 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S). 5.15Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

7.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors(R,S). Highlights of thedocumentary programmefollowing specialised pursuitteams in Sheffield and Essex.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Road Terror: Caught onCamera (R,S,HD). A bulldozerdriver runs amok. Last in theseries. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: TheFinal (S,HD). 22/22. See ChoicesAbove.

10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Biton the Side (HD). 16/16. RylanClark and his guests discusstonight’s final, inviting EmmaWillis, the audience andcelebrity panelists to discusswhether the public made theright decision, and chat to thenew champion, the runners-upand previous evictees. Last inthe series.

12.00 SuperCasino 3.05 True CSI (S). Newseries. A woman’s body is found in anabandoned school, and with no otherevidence to follow, investigators pay closescrutiny to a shoeprint discovered at thescene. 3.55 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD).7.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under(R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone: PaulHollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.00 SignZone: The Sacred Wonders of Britain(R,S). 10.00 Question Time (R,S,HD). 11.00BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News(S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 LiveInternational Bowls (S). The World IndoorChampionships. 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

7.00 The Great Interior DesignChallenge (S,HD). 5/12.Transforming the kitchens ofthree 1960s homes in Ashtead,Surrey.


6.30 Great British RailwayJourneys (S,HD). 15/20.Michael Portillo completes hisjourney to Wolverhampton.

8.00 Mastermind (S,HD). 20/31.Specialist subjects include Pulpand Catherine the Great.

8.30 An Island Parish (S,HD). 2/6.Karen Le Mouton puts herselfforward to be considered forordination.

9.00 Italy Unpacked (S,HD). 3/3.Andrew Graham-Dixon andGiorgio Locatelli visit thesouthern regions of Campaniaand Calabria, exploring thefood and culture of Naples,Amalfi and Paestum. Last in theseries.

10.00 QI (S,HD). 17/18. First of twocompilations of highlights fromthe K series of the quiz, whichfeatured guests including SusanCalman, Reginald D Hunter,Jack Whitehall and VictoriaWood.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

11.00 Weather (S,HD).11.05 Steve McQueen: Are You

Sitting Uncomfortably? – ACulture Show Special (S,HD).29/32. See Choices Above.

11.30 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 4/7.Following the stag do, bestman Martin wakes up in bedwith Bianca – who reveals hertrue age – while Kenneth has acrisis at the salon and Joyce setsup a volleyball court.

11.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD).2/22. Jake is assigned to a minorgraffiti case.

11.35 Saw III (S,HD) (2006). Horrorsequel, starring Tobin Bell,Shawnee Smith and AngusMacFadyen.●●●

12.05 International Bowls (S). The WorldIndoor Championships. Action from theOpen Singles quarter-finals at the PottersLeisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk.1.05 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S).Topical debate from Dundee. 2.05 SignZone: The Culture Show: Gaga – TheMother Monster (R,S). Miranda Sawyerchats to Lady Gaga. 2.35 This Is BBC Two

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8.00 The Martin Lewis MoneyShow (S,HD). 4/6. A guide tomortgages.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Maddie breaks into No 4looking for the watch.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories:Beverley Callard (S,HD). 4/7.See Choices Above.

The Graham Norton Show, 10.35pm Italy Unpacked, 9pm The Americans, 10.40pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 11.05pm Celebrity Big Brother’s … 10.30pm

PIERS MORGAN’SLIFE STORIES:BEVERLEY CALLARD9pm, ITVThe Coronation Streetstar, who first appearedas Liz McDonald in1989, looks back on heracting career and turbulent personal life.

ROOM 1018.30pm, BBC1Man Down’s Roisin Conaty, Pointless starRichard Osman, and beloved broadcaster JoanBakewell hope to convince host Frank Skinnerthat their list of loathed subjects is banishedfor the first of a new run. The inauguralcategory is Nature, and Joan gets to pitch herfirst choice.

8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOESCOUNTDOWN9pm, Channel 4Jimmy Carr hosts thecomedy panel show’sversion of the famous quiz,with team captains SeanLock and Jon Richardsonjoined by Dara O Briain and Sharon Horgan.

STEVE MCQUEEN: ARE YOU SITTINGUNCOMFORTABLY? – A CULTURE SHOWSPECIAL11.05pm, BBC2In the wake of the release of Bafta-nominated film 12 Years a Slave, MarkKermode examines the history and culture ofslavery, while director Steve McQueen chatsabout the making of the movie.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.55 You’ve BeenFramed! 7.45 The Jeremy KyleShow USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30The Real Housewives of Atlanta10.30 The Real Housewives ofOrange County 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The RealHousewives of Orange County5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).12.45 Two and a Half Men (R).1.10 Mom (R). Comedy, starringAnna Faris and Allison Janney. 1.35Mom (R). Christy and Bonnie workthrough a family crisis. 2.05You’ve Been Framed! (R). 2.30Teleshopping. Buying goods fromhome.

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER:THE FINAL9pm, Channel 5After three weeks ofnominations, tasks andevictions, the moment hasarrived for the finalists asEmma Willis whittles themdown and announces the winner.


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11.10 Take Me Out (R,HD).A PE teacher, a farmer, astudent and a Team GBtaekwondo athlete takepart. Paddy McGuinnesspresents.

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6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.20 The Mentalist (R,S). Theagents arrest a hitman in connection with amurder. 3.15 Film: Murder 101: CollegeCan Be Murder (S) (2007). Murder mystery,starring Dick Van Dyke.●●● 5.00 5 Newsat 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors(R,S). Highlights of thedocumentary programmefollowing specialised pursuitteams in Sheffield and Essex.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Road Terror: Caught onCamera (R,S,HD). A bulldozerdriver runs amok. Last in theseries. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: TheFinal (S,HD). 22/22. See ChoicesAbove.

12.00 SuperCasino 3.05 True CSI (S). Newseries. A woman’s body is found in anabandoned school, and with no otherevidence to follow, investigators pay closescrutiny to a shoeprint discovered at thescene. 3.55 Highland Emergency(R,S,HD). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

STEVE MCQUEEN: ARE YOU SITTINGUNCOMFORTABLY? – A CULTURE SHOWSPECIAL11.05pm, BBC2In the wake of the release of Bafta-nominated film 12 Years a Slave, MarkKermode examines the history and culture ofslavery, while director Steve McQueen chatsabout the making of the movie.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.55 You’ve BeenFramed! 7.45 The Jeremy KyleShow USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30The Real Housewives of Atlanta10.30 The Real Housewives ofOrange County 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The RealHousewives of Orange County5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker


7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R). A cat that uses afork to eat.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Awoman from Swanseahopes to find love.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R). Charlie is humiliatedonline.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R). One of Alan’s oldschool friends visits. JonCryer and Marin Hinklestar.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R).12.45 Two and a Half Men (R).1.10 Mom (R). Comedy, starringAnna Faris and Allison Janney. 1.35Mom (R). Christy and Bonnie workthrough a family crisis. 2.05You’ve Been Framed! (R). 2.30Teleshopping. Buying goods fromhome.

9.00 The Fast and theFurious: Tokyo Drift(HD) (2006). An Americanteenager is sent to livewith his father in Tokyoafter a brush with thelaw, but soon becomesinvolved in illegal streetracing. When he ends upowing money togangsters after losing arace against a driver withYakuza connections, hehas to learn to masterthe Japanese style ofdriving to win and payback his debts. Actionadventure, starring LucasBlack, Nathalie Kelleyand BowWow. SeeChoices Above.●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldon tries toextend his lifespan.


6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 (R,HD).7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed(R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Madein Chelsea 11.00 Charmed 12.00Rules of Engagement 12.30Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00Rules of Engagement 5.00 HowI Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD).7.30 How I Met Your

Mother (R,HD).Marshall and Lily areconcerned about Ted’snew girlfriend.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). The groupspends the Thanksgivingholiday at MrsWolowitz’s house.

8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,HD).Max applies to a pastryschool in Manhattan.

12.05 The Midnight Beast (R).12.40 PhoneShop (R,HD). 1.15Cardinal Burns (R,HD). 1.45 VeryImportant People (R,HD). 2.15Balls of Steel Australia (R). 2.40The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD).3.05 The Cleveland Show (R,HD).3.30 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 4.10Glee 4.55 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R,S).Comedy following threedysfunctionalhouseholds.

6.30 The Simpsons (S).

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 7.00 Modern Family (R).8.00 All Aboard: East CoastTrains (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: LosAngeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League ofTheir Own (R,S). 3.30 Futurama(R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S).5.30 Modern Family (R).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).Marge has a nervousbreakdown.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).With the guest voice ofDolly Parton.

8.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). The familyattends a barbecue atGloria and Jay’s house.

8.30 Modern Family(R,S,HD). The first day ofschool arrives.

10.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). JamesCorden hosts the sportsquiz, with guests JimmyCarr, Olympic skeletonchampion AmyWilliamsand Dutch footballerEdgar Davids.

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). Policeofficers combat vehicle crime. 1.00Night Cops (R,S,HD). 2.00 BritCops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD).3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dogthe Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S).5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30Airline USA (R,S,HD).

11.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). Acriminal races throughthe grounds of MiltonKeynes hospital, and anAmerican patrol officeris stunned when aspeeding driver claimshe is blind.

9.00 Stella (S,HD). New series.Comedy drama, withRuth Jones. Stella decidesto focus on work andfamily – although ahandsome lawyer provesdistracting. AuntyBrenda’s waywarddaughter returns.

6.00 Last of the SummerWine

6.40 Open All Hours.Arkwright has thewashday blues.

6.10 The Brittas Empire 6.40 To theManor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10Keeping Up Appearances 9.502point4 Children 10.30 Last of theSummer Wine 11.50 Open AllHours 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10To the Manor Born 2.50 As TimeGoes By 3.25 Jeeves and Wooster4.40 Keeping Up Appearances5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

7.20 Open All Hours. Themilkwoman makes apass at Granville.Comedy, starring RonnieBarker.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Acomic review of Life onMars.

8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.Comic review of TVfavourites.

10.20 Little Britain. SirNorman Fry explains anembarrassing incidentwith a glace cherry,while Vicky Pollardproves hopelessly ineptin her new career as ababysitter. Guest starringDavid Baddiel.

11.00 Little Britain Abroad.First of two comedyspecials, starring MattLucas and DavidWalliams.

11.40 Little Britain Abroad

12.20 Come Fly with Me. Peterand Judith get involved in the darkarts of voodoo, airline owner OmarBaba deals with a staff mutiny andTommy finally gets his interview tobe a pilot. 1.00 Little Britain 1.30Little Britain 2.00 Little BritainAbroad 2.30 Little BritainAbroad

9.00 Come Fly with Me.Omar Baba deals with astaff mutiny. Gueststarring Dale Winton.

9.40 Little Britain. VickyPollard becomes ababysitter. Guest starringDavid Baddiel.

7.00 Doctor Who’sGreatestMoments: TheEnemies (R,S).

7.30 Doctor Who(R,S,HD). NewYork’s statuescome to life.

8.15 Doctor Who(R,S,HD).

9.00 Surrogates(S,HD) (2009). SeeChoices Above.●●●

10.25 Great MovieMistakes:Revenge of theFifth (R,S).Blunders inHollywood films.

10.30 EastEnders(R,S,HD).

11.00 Family Guy(R,S,HD).

11.25 Family Guy(R,S,HD).

11.45 Live at theElectric (S,HD).

12.15 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.40 AmericanDad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Uncle(R,S,HD). 1.30 Sun, Sexand Suspicious Parents:Thailand (R,S,HD). 2.30Live at the Electric(R,S,HD). 3.00 RussellHoward’s Good News(R,S,HD). 3.30 Uncle

7.00 World NewsToday (HD);Weather

7.30 BBC PromsChamber Music(HD).Performances ofworks byBenjamin Brittenand JohnDowland. Last inthe series.

8.00 Julian Bream atthe BBC (HD).The work of theEnglish classicalguitarist andlutenist. Last inthe series.

9.00 Born to Be Wild(HD). The story ofUS rock music inthe 1980s. Last inthe series.

10.00 Bon Jovi inConcert (HD). Aperformance atthe BBC RadioTheatre recordedin 2013.

11.00 Classic Albums(R).

12.00 Born to Be Wild(R,HD). 1.00 Bon Jovi inConcert (R). 2.00 GreatAmerican Rock Anthems:Turn It Up to 11 (R). 3.00Classic Albums (R).

6.00 PDC Darts Awards(HD).

6.30 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 Ringside (HD). 10.00Coppa Italia Football. 11.00Copa Del Rey Football (HD).12.00 Ringside (HD). 1.00 PremierLeague World (S,HD). 1.30 CopaDel Rey Football (HD). 2.30Football Gold (S). 2.45 FootballGold (S). 3.00 Ringside (HD). 4.00Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 5.00Ringside (HD).

7.30 FL72 Live (HD).Brentford v Gillingham(Kick-off 7.45pm).Coverage of the LeagueOne match at GriffinPark, between two clubswith different aspirationsfor the season. The Beesare challenging forautomatic promotion,while the visitors arelooking to move clear ofthe relegation zone witha surprise victory.

11.00 Football’s GreatestInternational Teams(S,HD). A look at some ofthe greatest teams in thehistory of the game.

11.30 PDC Darts Awards(HD).

12.00 Football League Gold12.15 Football League Gold12.30 Live Tour Down UnderCycling (HD). Stage five of theannual race from Adelaide. 4.30Football League Gold 4.45Football League Gold 5.00Premier League Preview (HD).5.30 PDC Darts Awards (HD).

10.00 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD). John Fendleyand Paul Merson presenta discussion on keyfantasy football issues, aswell as the weekend’sPremier League matches.Also featuring guestsfrom the worlds of sportand showbiz.

Take Me Out, 11.10pm How I Met Your ... 7.30pm Stella, 9pm Open All Hours, 6.40pm The Fantasy ... 6.30pm

THE FAST AND THEFURIOUS: TOKYODRIFT9pm, ITV2An American teenagerliving in Japan getsinvolved in illegal streetracing. Adventure, withLucas Black.

SURROGATES9pm, BBC3An FBI agent in a futurewhere people onlyinteract through robotdoubles ventures intothe real world to catcha killer. Sci-fi thriller,with Bruce Willis.

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER:THE FINAL9pm, Channel 5After three weeks ofnominations, tasks andevictions, the moment hasarrived for the finalists asEmma Willis whittles themdown and announces the winner.

TOP GUN9pm, E4An arrogant pilot’s maverick flying skills earnhim a place in an elite US Navy school, wherehe falls for his civilian instructor. A tragedy inthe air threatens to end his military career –until an international incident offers him achance to redeem himself. Aerial actionadventure, starring Tom Cruise.


11.40 The Big Bang Theory(R,HD). Sheldon searchesfor an alternative tohuman companionship.


FILM

PICK

S

11.10 Take Me Out (R,HD).A PE teacher, a farmer, astudent and a Team GBtaekwondo athlete takepart. Paddy McGuinnesspresents.

9.00 Top Gun (HD) (1986). Anarrogant pilot’s maverickflying skills earn him aplace in an elite US Navyschool, where he comesinto conflict with afellow student and fallsfor his civilian instructor.A tragedy in the airthreatens to end hismilitary career – until aninternational incidentoffers him a chance toredeem himself. Aerialaction adventure,starring Tom Cruise,Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer,Anthony Edwards andTom Skerritt. See ChoicesAbove.●●●

FRIDAY

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Homes&Living

24January

HolidaysThe Coach Stop, 1 Hounds Rd, Chipping Sodbury. BS37 6EE | www.chauffeurhireplus.co.uk

Harry Potter Studio TourDay Trip Saturday 8th February

The Coach Stop, 1 Hounds Rd, Chipping Sodbury. BS37 6EE

Saturday 8th FebruaryAdults£47.50*

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Come along for a behind the scenestour at Warner Bros Studio LondonCall 01454 319047 to book nowspaces are limited! *Includes coach and 3 hour studio tour

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Documents

The Weekend 17 January 2014