The Tech.VOL. XI. BOSTON, JANUAR`Y 7, 1892. NO. 8.

?5H E 5EGH.Published on alternate Thursdays, during the college year, by the

students of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

BOARD OF EDITORS.FREDERICK HOPPIN HOWLAND, '92, Editor-in-Chzief.

ALLEN FRENCH, '92.CHARLES HENRY MUHLENBERG, '92.

RALPH HAYES SWEETSER, '92.ALBERT FARWELL BEMIb, '93.

ROY HAMILTON BEATTIE, '93FREDERIC WAIT LORD, '93.

ALBERT BRONSON PAYNE, JR., '93.HARRY LAWVSON RICE, '93.

JAMES RAMSAY SPEER, '93.

ALLEN FRENCH, Secretary.

HARRY NYE WILLIAMS, '92, Business AManager.CHARLES REAY KNAPP, '94, Assistant Business Mianager.

Subscription, $2.00 per year, in advance. Single copies, 15 cts. each.

FRANK WOOD, PRINTER, 352 WASHINGTON STREET, BOSTON.

E lit' J HAT "coming eventscast their shadows

1" - ~ ,~ ?/! X before" is very trueil dof our examination

~it / system, and everyman at the Institutenow feels himself

go, ~"~" ~ well within the pe-:/. \ numbra of the ap-

proaching o r d e a 1.In less than a week,

we shall all be attempting to demonstrate ourknowledge of each and every subject in papersfrom which our instructors will deduce ourignorance. It is a gloomy subject, but it is anall important one. The examination is thevery keystone of our educational system.There is everything to be said in its disfavor;there is but one argument to advance in itssupport; and this one, the bare fact that noth-ing can take its place, is invincible. In lec-ture courses it is inevitable,and even when dailyrecitations have been the rule, the examinationdoes give an insight into the student's worknot to be gained in any other manner. But

"while nothing, therefore, can be said as toany abandonment of the system, much mightbe advanced relative to its use and misuse.An examination cannot be an absolute gaugeof a student's knowledge, and making it so isthe greatest evil of the system. A Professorof first year mathematics in the Institute wasasked by one of his students-a man who hadsecured a mark of above go per cent. in hisdaily work-whether, if he fell slightly below70 in the examination, his class work wouldhelp to give him the necessary Credit. TheProfessor answered,- "No; if you get 70,you will receive a Credit; if 69, a Pass."It is nonsense to suppose that any paper often questions or less can be made out whichshall, on some particular day, determine eachstudent's exact knowledge of the subject inquestion, and give results of such value as tocompletely overshadow the class work evi-dence of each daily assignment faithfullyperformed. We have many professors andinstructors, we are glad to say, who laborconscientiously to avoid this mistake; whoesteem the examination for just what it isworth; and who, by taking all factors intoaccount, and marking on the average of theclass, attain results which are unquestioned forfairness. To the others we would only say," Go thou and do likewise."

To the Seniors we wish success. You areon the home stretch now, and you will getthere by degrees. The Juniors and Sopho-mores are only to repeat once more a sadexperience, and have our commiseration.To the Freshmen a word of warning. Be notdeceived at the easiness of your entrance ex-aminations; they are so for reasons knownalone to the Faculty; these which are comingare not so, and except by hard and continuouswork in cramming many of you are destined-

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to lag behind. To one and all, from the manwho only began work with his New Year'sresolutions to the one who has practiced themost patient course of self-denial -(grinds notincluded in this), we extend our most heartywishes for good marks and a pleasant vacation.Our teachers have our sincere sympathy.We know the hard and tedious work whichthis season brings to you. We are well awarethat these examinations which cause us onlyhours of agony cause you days. We hopethat not once, however, will your interest flagor your sympathies fail to be moved toaction when you find that some poor unfor-tunate, unfortunate through headache, nerv-ousness, la grizpe, or the ever-presentelement of chance, has fallen only an infini-tesimal fraction below the standard expected.

7 HE suggestion of the nominating com-mittee to have an address to the class in-

stead of the customary class poem, is feeblein some ways and looks queer. If it is thedesire of the class to leave out the class poem,all well and good; but to make up somethingto put in its place is ridiculous. If the presi-dent of the class makes an address and theorator delivers his oration, it would be depress-ingly tedious to hear another talk from a sortof Technology valedictorian. The idea of avaledictory is entirely foreign to Tech., andis against the system of work here. Thepoem was omitted because it might be tire-some; don't aggravate the fault by adding an" address" which from its very nature is sureto be " prosy."

UET another cause for thankfulness thecustomary public drill of the Freshmen in

Winslow's Rink is to be omitted this year.It is our sincerest hope that it never will be

reinstated upon the list of Institute events. Itwas always a farce, giving restless Sopho-mores a chance to make fools of themselves,

and consequently of the Institute, impartingan immense amount of emotion into perhapsten of the youthful soldiers, and pulling theInstitute down to, and even below, the levelof the various preparatory schools of theneighborhood. And worse than anything else,the two annual exhibitions have always drawntogether about as low an element of the com-munity as one could find in an elaborate, ex-haustive search throughout South Boston, sothat Institute drills have been sought for bythe same class which characterizes those"social" gatherings patronized indirectly bythe City Government, while the unfortunateinexperienced Freshman is naturally shockedand mortified on having his mother or sistersbrought face to face with such depraved speci-mens of humanity. And if no method can befound to regulate the distribution of the ticketsfor these occasions, let us by all means bespared this periodical exhibition, which hadbecome the one blot upon Institute life.

jECHNOLOGY has long been in need ofa special room to be used for committee

meetings, and in which our trophies might beplaced. That such a room is very necessaryno one will gainsay. For years the executivecommittees of the Football Association, Ath-letic Club, Tennis Association, and variousothers, not to speak of the " Technique"Board, have had to go through the tediousformality of petitioning the Faculty for theuse of a room in which to meet. We thinkthat if a certain room were set apart for thispurpose much trouble would be saved, andeverybody greatly convenienced.

If the corporation decided that a room couldbe spared for this purpose, such a room wouldalso be used for trophies already belonging tothe Institute. As a beginning, we alreadyhave the football banner awarded to Tech.for the championships of I887 and I888, thelarge class championship athletic cup, about adozen pictures of Tech.'s victorious teams in

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football and tug of war, and other trophiessuch as footballs, baseballs, etc.

If a place like this were assigned as atrophy room, it would be sure to get wellstocked before long. Doubtless our recordholders would loan their record cups, andhereafter emblems or banners commemoratingSophomore-Freshmen games would be placedon exhibition. Pictures of our best athleteswould be very interesting, and they should beput where we all could have the opportunityof seeing them. The same is done in manyother colleges.

An excellent method of showing records indifferent athletic events consists in havingwooden panels fastened to the wall, on whichare inscribed the names of record breakersand their performances. This has been verysuccessfully tried in many trophy rooms, andforms a striking addition to the general aspect.It would help materially in making a trophyroom look as it should, in case one werestarted at Tech.

Room 20, Rogers Building, seems to be themost appropriate. It remains with the Facultyto decide whether it is available. The situa-tion of it,--the middle front- room up oneflight of stairs,-and its suitable size, make itvery desirable. But small expense would benecessary to remove the benches, and havesome show cases put up, and a "long-feltwant" would be satisfied.

$HE Glee Club concert calls to mind thefame of the class which had the honor of

organizing the club; viz., the Class of '87.There must have been more class and Institutespirit in one course in those days than existsat the present day in the entire college; forwe hear of a great many things which arelooked upon now as every-day affairs, butwhich were inaugurated by this same enter-prising Class of '87. For example, the Co-operative Society was founded through theefforts of an '87 man, and has flourished and

grown ever since its organization. "Tech-nique," also, first made its appearance throughthe efforts of this same body of men. If oneconverses with an '87 man, he will learn ofmany more enterprises of more or less notethat first came from '87.

Either all the essentials for a college life atTech. have been supplied, or there is a greatdecrease in Institute spirit within a very fewyears.

NEW opportunity is offered for theICourse VII. men to show their skill

and advanced learning. The causes of drunk-enness and the results which follow havebeen studied for centuries, - ever since"The Elephant shook his trunk, and Adam,he got drunk" man, when under the influenceof alcohol, has continued to lower himself inthe eyes of his fellow men. It is needlessto remind our readers that alcohol is found inmany and divers forms, and that it is not nec-essary to go to the haunts of the gambler anddrunkard to find it in some of its best-knowngarbs. But the Biologist can supply allnecessary inforimation on this point and we hopethat he will profit by the knowledge he willgain from what follows and dig deep into theroot ofthis new evil. Our Prohibitionist friendswill also learn this forthcoming news withregret and astonishment, for who could expectto find a serpent in sheep's clothing?

To come to the point, we are grieved to hearthat it is now the fad for cows to get drunk.The case in question happened in Connecticut,and, what was worst of all, the cows belongedto a Prohibitionist, a leading man of that State.Contrary to the usual custom, the cows did notgo up to a bar and ask for a drink; judgingfrom the fact that they were drunk, one wouldhave supposed they were educated and couldeasily have accomplished this feat. But thecows preferred eating half-rotten apples insuch quantities that the effect was even worsethan some effects we have seen, which were

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brought about by paying for a soda and rap-ping three times on the counter. When thecows were well "jagged" (so to speak), theyhad a merry time trying to play some newgame of their own. Finally one of the herdtook to herself too large a leap and the resultwas a broken leg; this necessitated her beingkilled. But the worst effect cropped out at amost unfortunate time. The Prohibitionisticowner of the cows is, as the story goes, agreat lover of milk, and delights to address hisfriends, as they sit around the festive board,on the subject of pure milk versus alcohol.But he addressed them once too often, for aftera most eloquent discourse and a bowl or twoof milk, which had come from his intemperatecows, he had to be helped away from the sceneof action and put to bed.

All stanch Prohibitionists should, in thefuture, leave off drinking milk, lest they tooshould be similarly affected. What would bemore disgusting than to see a man, who hadall his life long abstained from strong drink,suddenly become intoxicated on a simple glassof milk. Doubtless freethinkers will imme-diately take to this beverage in the hopes thatthe cow has eaten decayed apples. And theBiologist will do nothing, as usual.

GREAT deal of time and annoyancewould be saved in the chemical labora-

tories if students'after using the chemicals onthe shelves would place them back on theparticular shelves and places from which theywere taken, and not on the floor or in the firstconvenient spot. Oftentimes students are seenhunting high and low for chemicals whichsome careless chemists have taken off to theirdesks and left there. A place has been desig-nated for each and every chemical, and hereit should be returned after use.

Then again there is entirely too much loudtalking and obstreperous noise from Chemists,who, inflated with the idea that their wit iskeen and their remarks, heard from one end

of the laboratories to the other, overflowingwith brilliancy, force their unseemly jokesupon the entire laboratory. A little jokingand good humor helps the work along andmakes the Chemists' hours pass more pleas-antly and their tasks easier, and so is a goodthing, but there is a limit to it.

We deem it hardly necessary to inform themajority of the Chemists that such noisy horse-play and confusion do not belong to the labora-tories, but it does seem that the informationis necessary for individuals. Such actionsnot only ill become the men but afford a verybad example for lower classmen. Not onlyis this childishness and horseplay seen andheard in the laboratories, but even in the va-rious drawing rooms more or less of it takesplace, though moderated by the presence ofinstructors, who necessarily spend most oftheir time in the rooms. In the laboratoriesstudents are left more on their own responsi-bility,-confusion and noise are the results.

We hope that the various instructors ofthese departments will moderate this play andthat work in the future may be conductedamidst less confusion and noise and in a man-ner more becoming our position and dignity.

Ninety-four's Class Supper.AHE annual class supper of the Class of

'94 was held Friday December i8th, atthe Parker House. For '94, there was an ex-traordinarily large number present. Themenus were particularly pretty and well gottenup, but owing to some mistake, '93's colors didnot appear. A hand-painted monogram ofM. I. T. '94 was attached to the menus withthe class colors. The monogram also was inthe colors of the class. After the feast ofgood things had been disposed of, Mr. Meade,the president of the class, introduced as toast-master Mr. W. C. Peet. Mr. Peet's novel,and, we take it, original idea of delivering hisspeech and introductions in poetry, was ex-ceedingly pleasing, and though the lines may

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not have been artistic in the extreme, theywere, to say the least, admirably suited to theoccasion, and well received by all.

The first speaker introduced was Mr. C. W.Dickey, whose toast was "The Institute."He, strange to say, began his address with astory, and after a most excellent speech andsome extremely good advice, resigned to thenext speaker of the evening.

Mr. L. R. Nash on the Class of '94 didadmirably, and spoke in excellent style of themany good qualities of the class. He wasfollowed by Mr. E. D. Clarke, who spoke onFootball. Mr. Clarke touched lightly on theclass's success in football,-as lightly as heconsistently could, considering the size of thesuccess. He took the liberty of oversteppingthe bounds of football and reprimanded theclass on its lack of interest in general ath-letics. Mr. F. H. Murkland followed Mr.Clarke, and spoke of '94's baseball career; itsbrilliant beginning and more brilliant pros-pects for a magnificent termination.

The toastmaster next called upon Mr. Ross,who favored the assembled multitude with ashort story finely rendered in broken French.

Mr. Reed's toast to the ladies was alsoworthy of mention.

Mr. F. H. Holden was the next speaker tobe introduced, and gave the class a flow ofwit upon the Grind.

To enumerate the list of speakers to its fullextent would be too laborious, and we onlyhope that those not mentioned will not feelslighted, but will realize that the class appre-ciates their efforts fully as much as those ofthe more favored ones.

The supper was, on the whole, a most stu-pendous success, and the committee, Messrs.Spalding, Stevens, and B. E. Holden, deservegreat credit for their exertions, and the resultsachieved.

Warren has been re-elected captain ofPrinceton's football team.

IA Desperate Conspiracy.

L THOUGH Mr. Schuyler StandishSpooner was a rich young fellow, and

what the Saturdda.y Evening Gazette called"one of Boston's exclusive set"- for heclaimed descent from the first settlers of bothPlymouth and New York-he was, like justa common, unaristocratic young American,in business. Unlike many others, however,he was one of the firm, and it was with morethan ordinary satisfaction that he thoughtupon the fact as he settled himself for a longjourney in the cars. For it was summer, andthe fact that he was of consequence in thefirm lengthened his vacation from three weeksto six, a source of self-gratulation, since hewas bound for the mountains, to spend histime at the Maple Hill House, where she was.She was Miss Ellen Brewster, of Boston, andwith her he had recently become quite inti-mate. His interest in her was of that suddenkind which we often feel when some circum-stance unexpectedly puts an acquaintance inan entirely new light. Spooner had knownher for years, and had liked her, in an im-personal sort of way, as a very clever girl,different from most, being somewhat independ-ent, yet on the whole very pleasant. It hadneeded a quarrel with her, a fall from grace,followed by a sudden rise again, as has beenelsewhere related, to rouse in Spooner a livelyinterest in Miss Brewster. He had to admitto himself, ruefully, that the same conjunctionof circumstances did not rouse a similar inter-est on her part. Yet such appeared to be thefact, for she treated him exactly as before,when he had been but a casual caller.

Still, they had reached a perfectly free andeasy footing, as one could have seen by watch-ing them as they sat together under the trees,one afternoon a few days after his arrival atthe mountains. She was doing fancywork,he was playing with her scissors, and bluntingthem by cutting grass and twigs; they talkedas much or as little as they chose, and shepaid as much or as little apparent attention to

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him as suited her fancy. Still, that she paidsome attention to his wishes could be seenfrom her remark, after a few minutes' vacantsilence on the part of both:

"If you are tired of staying here, Mr.Spooner, we can go to the tennis court."

He was sprawled out at her feet in a com-fortable position, gazing out upon the valley,and only turned his head to look at her as heanswered, while she was taken up with herwork, in that preoccupation which is mostprovoking when one wishes to get an occa-sional glance as well as a few sentences froma girl.

"Why, Mim-Miss Brewster," he expostu-lated slowly, "you kik-can by no means haveeither of our interests at heart. Sis-sis-sucha thing would make us unpopular forever.There are jij-just four men there, and a fifthwould spoil their game. And if y-you wereto go and sis-sit in the tent with the othergirls, they couldn't discuss the latest gig-gossip about you and me, and would hateyou accordingly."

She smiled; "Your reasoning is powerful.Well, we will stay here."

She straightened up to thread a needle,while he idly stabbed a piece of bark. Therewas another silence, but not at all an awkwardone. With them there was no need to speakunless one Wvrished, for she was not a girl ofmany words, and Spooner had talked somuch in his society career, as he said, thathe had "kik-kik-come to understand the valueof silence."

"Have you noticed," said she after amoment, "the remarkable gathering of gos-sips that we have here," and she indicated agroup at a little distance. 'The fine weatherhas brought them all out. There are Mrs. VonBlenkinsopp, and Mrs. Norman, and Mrs.North, and Miss Baynes,-and Mrs. Stevenshas come over from the Cottage. With allthe others to keep the ball rolling they'mustbe having a lively time. Just hear theirchatter!"

Spooner raised himself a little. "I'mafraid, Mim-Miss Brewster," he said, "thatyou miss the chief significance of that group.O-observe that solitary man-how he fif-fidgetson his chair-how his mirth rir-rings hollow.Did-did-do you suppose that my Uncle Georgewould join such a kik-crowd unless he hadsome purpose to'nin-nerve him to the deed?Remember, he goes to-morrow."

Miss Brewster started. "What !" she cried,while she smiled with pleasure. "Do youreally suppose that is it ?"

"I did-did-don't know," said Spooner."But I know that jij-just now he's racking hisbrains to mim-make some plan to get MissWare away from the rest. I did-don't knowif he would kik-come to the point, even sup-posing he got the chance. I'm only sure Iwish he would. Bib-bib-but I'm afraid hewon't get the chance."

I" There's this evening," said Miss Brewster."Oh, how I wish he would !"

Spooner laughed. "It would be pleasant,would it not?" he said. "Bib-but don't yousee,-there's that old folks kik-kik-card partyto-night, and he hasn't got the skill to get heraway from the crowd, any more than atpresent."

She dropped her work in her lap, andwatched the other group for awhile, whileSpooner, beside her, did the same. "Ideclare," she cried at length, "I think it's ashame !"

"It is, surely," assented Spooner. "Bib-but I can't help being amused," he said withhis slow chuckle, " to see the old bib-bib-boysitting there on the edge of his chair, and justkik-kik-crazy to get her off by herself. PoorUncle George, he's all out of pip-practice.Now a younger man, I for instance, or Kik-Crook, or Kik-Keene, could cut a girl outfrom a group like that in three mim-mim-minutes, if she would help. But he can't; andshe nin-knows what he wants, but she can't,and so "

They watched the others once more. "Do

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you suppose," she said after awhile, "that itever will come to anything?"

" I know this," said he, rousing himself toless lazy attitude, "if it did-did-doesn't everdo so now, it nin-never will. He will go backto Boston, and sh-she will go back to Phila-delphia, and he will gig-get into his bachelorways again, and she will bib-be an old maidonce more, and this time for good. And thatwould be a sh-shame. Just think, Miss Brew-ster, what a nin-nin-nice little aunt she'dmake."

I"You say they used to know each other,years ago?" she asked, pursuing her owntrain of thought, as was her way.

"Yes, they met abroad, when sh-she wastwenty, and he about thirty. H-he was muchtaken, mother says-sis-saw a good deal ofher, I suppose. Bib-but nothing came of it-they did-did-drifted apart, and haven't met fortit-ten years before this summer. He mustbe forty-three now, and she thirty-three or so."He paused. " I wish w-we could help them."

"Yes," she said absently, still looking atthe others; but then suddenly, as the ideastruck her, she cried, "Why can't we?"

"How?" he asked."Why, this way. You go and take your

uncle for a walk; then I'll get Miss Ware,and we'll go for a walk. And then, acciden-tally, we will meet at the Mingling of theBrooks, and you and I can wander away,absent-mindedly, you know. Then if youruncle doesn't improve his chance, why, henever will."

"Bib-by Jove," cried Spooner, starting up,"A capital idea! I sis-say, Miss Brewster,you're a star. Let's do it !

They were persons of action. She gatheredup her fancywork, and put it in her narrowred box, and tied a big handkerchief aroundit. Then she got up, smiling, h. er eyes spark-ling in delighted anticipation, and madeSpooner a little formal courtesy. "I am verysorry to have to ask you to excuse me, Mr.Spooner," -she said, "I am going in the house

to put away my fancywork. I shall hope tosee you after supper."

"I hope so," he replied, taking off his hat,and smiling himself at the anticipation of thecoming developments,- "Then, if not before.Gig-good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," she said. And then sheran away laughing. Spooner, after watchingher a moment, walked over to the othergroup.

"Kik-come, Uncle George," he said, aftersuccessfully performing the difficult feat of in-cluding the whole group in one salutation."Kik-come, let's take a walk. It's your lil-last day here, and we ought to have one moregood time together."

His uncle came at once, almost with a sighof relief. He had been 0sitting a long timewithout the slighest hope of attaining his end,and was already calling himself a fool, andwishing to find a way of escaping from theold ladies, even if he went alone. So hewelcomed with delight his nephew's proposi-tion; yet it was not without a backward glancethat he went down the hill, and somewhatmoodily he listened to his nephew's talk dur-ing their walk to the spot in the valley wherethe two brooks met.

They sat down on the rustic seat, andSpooner had just roused his uncle into an ap-pearance of vivacity, when his expectant earcaught the sound of voices as some one camedown the path. His uncle heard too, andturned to look. A few glimpses could becaught of the newcomers as the path woundin and out among the trees. The older manturned to his nephew with a face of completeastonishment, but, with almost boyish open-ness, breaking into a smile of pleasure."Why-" he began.

" Ssh ! " said Spooner, I" sis-say nothing,"and at the moment Miss Ware and Miss Brew-ster came out into the little clearing. MissBrewster feigned surprise with great success;Miss Ware's astonishment was genuine, whilein her face one could see, though more faintly,

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the counterpart of her lover's pleasure. Shewas a timid, hesitating little body, and hungback somewhat as the others came forward tomeet them.

Miss Brewster lost no time. "Come," shesaid, as they stood in the slight embarrassmentof the meeting, "Mr. Spooner, suppose wego and gather bunchberries. I was going todo it with Miss Ware, but I'm afraid she willnot care to walk so far." And then this arch-conspirator coolly walked away down anotherpath.

Spooner edged behind his uncle, andwhispered in his ear: "Now's your tit-tit-time, Uncle," he said. "Kik-keep yourspirits up ! Nin-never say die! Gig-go inand win !"

His uncle made a wild but effectual clutchat the young man's vanishing blazer. "Holdon," he cried; "I say- "

"Th-that's all right," said Spooner, disen-gaging himself. "Nin-now or never, Uncle,"he whispered again; "' fif-faint heart,' youknow,"-and off he went down the path, tofind Miss Brewster seated on a fallen tree,weak with laughter, her handkerchief pressedagainst her mouth.

"Well," she said, when she was able tospeak, "it's a success. Did you see his facewhen we appeared ?"

"Did-did I ?" he cried. "And did-did younotice hers? It is a success, indeed! "

Spooner and Miss Brewster gave the othersall the time they conscientiously could; butthey had to go back to them at last, and didso after preliminary whistlings and laughter.It had been a success, as could be plainlyseen by the faces of the two middle-agedlovers. Nothing was said; but Spooner andhis uncle put a new meaning in their hand-clasp, and Miss Brewster took little MissWare in her arms and kissed her with as fullan understanding of what had passed as if ithad all been told in words.

"And now, Uncle," said Spooner, breaking

-Ithe contented silence that fell on them all,"it-it's supper time, and you must go homewith me. Kik-come on!"

"Why, no, Schuyler," said his uncle, ablenow to assert himself; "you go on with MissBrewster, and Miss Ware and I will follow."

" Uncle George," said his nephew, severely,"I'm ashamed of you. Wh-what are youthinking of? As sure as I sis-stand here,Mim-Mrs. Von Blenkinsopp and Mrs. Nin-Nin-Norman are this moment on the pip-piazza looking for their natural food, and thewhole thing will be the talk of the hotel.Nin-nin-no, sir! we go back as we came.Mim-Miss Ware and Miss Brewster, of courseyou know you haven't sis-sis-seen us thisafternoon. We have bib-bib-been to theStairs. You must excuse our leaving you,but we must return from that direction, andit's rir-rather a roundabout way. Kik-comeon, Uncle George. Gig-gig-good-bye," andaway he went, dragging his unwilling yethappy uncle.

Ten Little Tech. Men.Ten would-be Tech. men coming in a line;One flunks entrance algebra, and so there are but nine.

Nine full-fledged Freshmen studying very late;One studies much too hard, so there are but eight.

Of the eight Freshmen, one plays on the 'leven;He, of course, fails everything, and so there are but seven.

One among these Tech. men is quite too fond of tricks;He gets spotted at the semies, and so there are but six.

Six sturdy Freshmen at the annuals strive;One gets FF in Chemistry, so there are but five.

Five hearty students come to Tech. once more,One takes the Five-Year Course, so there are but four.

Four tough Sophomores steal letters M. I. T.;A " cop." collars on to one, and so there are but three.

Three valiant Tech. men, Juniors tried and true;One gets stuck on Calculus, and so there are but two.

Two haughty Seniors, their S.B.'s almost won:A thesis is rejected, so there graduates but one.

This happy graduate goes in for social fun;Alas! he marries the lunchroom belle, and now there are

none.A. A. C., '94-

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The Benefit Concert.

THE great event of last week, or indeed ofthe term, in a musical way, was the concertgiven in Huntington Hall on Wednesdayevening for the benefit of the Football Associ-ation. The performance was a great success,both financially and musically.

The programme which follows was excep-tionally well rendered, with but a few excep-tions, and fully justified the pride which thetrue-spirited men of the Institute who werepresent feel in these organizations of ours.

PART I.

I. Dance Eccossaise (Baker), encore, Banjo Club. 2.

We Meet Again To-night (Carin. Yale), encore, GleeClub. 3. Waltz Aledley (Arranged by Cushing), encore,Mandolin Club. 4. Church in the Wildwood, Glee Club.5. Mrs. Craigin's Daughter (Arranged by Clarke), GleeClub. 6. Waltz (Armstrong), Banjo Club. 7. Beware(Williams), Glee Club.

PART II.

I. La Tipica (Romero), Estudiantina (encore), Mando-lin Club. 2. M. I. T. Waltz (Arranged by Clarke), Mr.Pechin, Mr. Whitman, and Club; Susie Brown (encore),Mr. Sias and Club. 3. March (Porter), Banjo Club. 4.The Jolly Old Crow (Decker), The Pope (encore), GleeClub. 5. Fairly Caught (Decker), Glee Club. 6. Suenod'Amor (Romero), Mandolin Club, encored. 7. Soldier'sJoy (Newman), Glee Club.

As Mr. Bates was not present, it was neces-sary to omit "The Boogie Man," which waswell replaced by the "Church in the Wild-wood.'" " Mrs. Craigin's Daughter" followedas the fifth number on the programme, but asrendered, decidedly lacked the spirit and lifeto make it a success.

In the second part the Mandolin Club ren-dered "La Tipica" in a very pleasing manner,and as an encore gave "Estudiantina." Mr.Whitman, Mr. Pechin, and the Glee Clubthen gave the M. I. T. waltz, and were loudlyapplauded. As an encore Mr. Sias, aided'bythe Club, gave some personal experiences en-titled " Susie Brown," which elicited anotherencore.

The Banjo Club rendered I' Porter's March"very effectively, and were loudly clapped, but

i "The Jolly Old Crow"

went very well, as did also the rendering of"Sueno d'Amor" by the Mandolin Club.

What the Glee Club could do without Mr.Whitman, '92, leader, it is very hard to say.He has a superb voice and leads in a mannervery hard to equal. Both the Banjo andMandolin Clubs show a great deal of faithfulwork and represent the best talent in the In-stitute. There were about four hundred pres-ent at the concert, and the receipts for theevening were about three hundred dollars.

The attendance by the students, while notwhat it might have been, is to be highly com-mended, and it is to be hoped that the fundsobtained from the concert are sufficient to payoff the indebtedness of the Football Associa-tion. The clubs have another concert in viewfor the first of next term, and the idea, afterthis creditable performance, cannot be toostrongly approved.

The Glee, Banjo, and Mandolin Clubs areorganized as follows:-

GLEE CLUB.

Willis Clarke, Musical Director; Edward Payson Whit-man, Leader. First Tenors-Edward Payson Whitman,'92, Frank Vail Sias, '95, John Anderson Holwill, '95,Robert Sydney Wason, '95. Second Tenors-GeorgeHenry May, '93, Clarence Crouch Culver, '95, DudleyChase Chaffee, '94, Thomas McKnight Sharpe, '94- FirstBass-Harry Reyborn Bates, '94, Francis Wright Fabyan,'93, John Shelly Pechin, '94, William Somer Witherspoon,'95, John Aiken, '94. Second Bass-Walter HerbertVorce, '93, Albert Sweetser Moulton, '93, Frank CurtissSchmitz, '95, John Edward Wray, '94.

BANJO CLUB.

Harry Nelson Latey, Leader. Banjourinzes-Harry Nel-

son Latey, '93, Frank Snow, '94, Charles Eastman Lock-wood, '94, John Chase Walier, '95. Bantios-MarvineGorham, '93, Thomas Irvine Chapman, '93. Guitars-Austin Sperry, '94, Winthrop Tracy Chase, '94, WilliamSomer Witherspoon, '95, Frank Vail Sias, '95.

MIANDOLIN CLUB.

Robert Delano Cushing, Leader. Mandozlins-RobertDelano Cushing, '92, Joseph McArthur Vance, '92, Harry

Milo Phillips, '93, William Henry Lawrence, '9I. Guitars-Robert Nye Cutter, '9i, Frank Vail Sias, '95.

A. F. Copeland, the famous hurdler, hasannounced his retirement from athletics.

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26THEII TEaCH.

The Sparring and Wrestling Meeting.HE Sparring and Wrestling Meeting,held in the gymnasium Saturday after-

noon, December Igth, was fairly successful.Although no money was made by the AthleticClub, on account of no admission beingcharged, not much was lost, as a subscriptionwas collected. The entries were few in num-ber, yet those who did compete furnishedsome good sport to spectators present.

The first event contested, was the heavy-weight sparring, in which J. Doe, F. H.Harvey and S. Sutton competed. Suttondrew the bye and Harvey proceeded to knockout Doe. This he failed to do, but came suf-ficiently near it to get the decision. In thefinals, Sutton and Harvey sparred for the M.I. T. championship. The Judges evidentlyenjoyed the bout, for they ordered an extraround of two minutes. Sutton displayed morescience and was declared the winner.

W. J. Batchelder and R. Sturgis, 2d, nowappeared, to battle for honors in the lightweight class. Batchelder was fully fifteenpounds heavier than Sturgis, and was awardedfirst cup, after three rounds. Sturgis was inpoor shape, but went from I26-pound class tothe 140, in order to make an event, and he de-

serves much credit for doing as well as he did.Many of the spectators thought that if he hadbeen better trained, Batchelder would havebeen forced to work a good deal harder thanhe did to win.

The light-weight wrestling was now con-tested. J. Thomas and H. D. Shute weredrawn in the first bout, which Thomas won.J. R. Speer easily threw F. A. Sargent in thesecond bout. The final bout was very excit-ing. Speer did very well, but Thomas' pre-vious experience told, and he was declared thewinner after 24 minutes of hard work.

The last event was the heavy-weight wrest-ling, and L. B. Manley, J. Crane, Jr., E. H.Roberts and W. R. Kales contested. In thefirst trial Crane threw Manley, although thelatter was thirty pounds hKeavier than the B.

A. A. man. The bout lasted 44 minutes, thelongest of any in the afternoon. Kales suc-ceeded in getting the fall with Roberts. Thefinal bout between Kales and Crane was veryinteresting. Kales was considerably heavierthan his opponent, thus having some advan-tage; but he also showed more acquaintancewith the game, and won the event in abouttwo minutes.

There were a good many B. A. A. andHarvard men present. The following gentle-men officiated: Referee of Wrestling, S.Paine, B. A. A.; Referee of Sparring, W.Austin, B. A. A.; Judges, D. W. Shea andJ. L. Dodge, both of Harvard; Timer, JohnGraham, Supt. of Charlesbank Gymnasium.

FIXTURES.

January 23.-First Regiment Athletic Club. Open Handi-cap Indoor Games in Armory on Irvington Street.

January 23.-First Annual Championship Indoor AthleticMeeting of the Metropolitan Association of the A. A.U. at Madison Square Garden, New York.

February I3.-Boston Athletic Association. Annual In-door Meeting at Mechanics Building.

February 22.-Melrose Athletic Club. Open HandicapCross Country Run.

March 5.-M. I. T. A. C. Fourteenth Annual OpenMeeting in Winslow Rink. Scratch Games.

March I4.-Bradford Boat Club. Sparring and WrestlingMeeting.

March I7.-Trimount Athletic Club. Open HandicapIndoor Games. Winslow Rink.

March I 9 .- Fifth Annual Gymnastic Championships ofthe A. A. U. Berkeley Lyceum, New York.

March 22 and 26.-Annual Fencing Championships of theA. A. U. at the Manhattan Athletic Club Clubhouse.

POLO SCHEDULE.

December 22.-B. A. A. vs. First Regiment, o-I.

December 24.-T. A. C. vs. M. I. T., I- 4 .

December 29 .- B. A. A. vs. M. I. T., I-2.

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December 3 .- First Regiment vs. T. A. C.,January 5.-First Regiment vs. B. A. A.January 7.-B. A. A. vs. T. A. C.January I2.-T. A. C. vs. First Regiment.January I4.-First Regiment vs B. A. A.January I 9 .- T. A. C. vs. B. A. A.January 2I.-T. A. C. vs. First Regiment..jarfuary 26.-B. A. A. vs. M. I. T.January 28.-First Regiment vs. M. I. T.February 2.-B. A. A. vs. First Regiment.February 4.-T. A. C. vs. M. I. T.February 9 .- B. A. A. vs. M. I. T.February ii.-T. A. C. vs. M. I. T.February I6 -First Regiment vs. M. I. T.February I8.-B. A. A. vs. T. A. C.February 23.-First Regiment vs. M. I. T.February 25 -T. A. C. vs. M. I. T.March I.--T. A. C. vs. First Regiment.March 3.-B. A. A. vs. M. I. T.March 8.-B. A. A. vs. T. A. C.March io.-First Regiment vs. M. I. T.

I-7.

Standing of the Clubs up to last Thursday.M. I.T. B.A.A. IST REG'T. T. A.o C. WON. LOST.

M. I. T., - I - I 2 0

B. A. A., - - - o 2First Regiment, - I - I IT. A. C., - - - I I

The Polo League is well under way, andvery good audiences have thus far been pres-ent. Considering the amount of interestmanifested at this early part of the season,there are bright prospects for the remainder ofit, inasmuch as the interest will be sure toincrease towards the finish.

The first game, which was contested by theB. A. A. and First Regiment teams, wasclose, and hotly contested. The First Regi-ment finally won by one goal to none.

In the second championship game, theteams representing Technology and the Tri-mount Athletic Club made their debut. TheTrimount Five was considered, before thegame, as being the strongest in the League;consequently when our team easily beat them,by a score of 4 to I, there was wild excite-ment in the M. I. T. contingent. Our boysplayed a lively, snappy game, and won ontheir merits.

The make-up of the teams is given: Tech-nology-rushers, Parker, Jones; center,Boyd; half back, Simonds; goal, Shepherd.

Trimount Athletic Club-rushers, Powers,Lamson; center, Macdonald; half back,Cook; goal, Kelly.

There was much slugging on both sides,but Tech played by far the most scientificgame.

Technology played her second gameDecember 2 9 th with Boston Athletic Asso-ciation, and won by a score of two goalsto one. The excitement was intense, andwhenever Tech. made a good play, the longInstitute cheer rang out from the gallery,where most of our supporters had gone towitness the fray. The short cheer was alsogiven with good effect at every brilliantindividual play. B. A. A. scored the firstgoal in about five minutes, but Tech., nothingdaunted, went to work, and in three minutesmore play tied the score. Neither side wassuccessful in caging the ball during the restof the half.

In the second half, Tech. scored in sixminutes, and as this was all the scoring done,in the last twenty minutes, M. I. T. wasdeclared the winner, 2 to I.

Neither side played such a fast game as intheir previous games, but this was due to thefact that the rink was very hot and close.

The Trimount Athletic Club played FirstRegiment December 31st and easily beat themin a game which was played very fast. Thescore was 7-I. This leaves Tech. with agood lead, which is advantageous, as we donot play again till January 28th.

POLO NOTES.

F. P. Simonds, '93, captain of the PoloTeam, has the grip, and was unable to playagainst B. A. A. on December 2 9 th. AsTech. doesn't play again till the end of themonth, he will probably be on hand again intime for our first game with First Regiment.

All the papers are loud in their praise ofTech.'s scientific game, and all the membersof the team have received much individualcomplimentary criticism.

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Several of Princeton's last year's footballteam witnessed the game with B. A, A.

Boyd has made wonderful improvement,and bids fair to become one of the c" stars."

Although it is very early in the season toventure any opinions regarding the winner ofthe polo championship, many, besides Tech.men, think we have more than a good showof attaining that end.

Some dispute arose over the fait that Tech.had rubber rollers on their skates, but thefeeling was caused more through the fact thatthe other teams realized that they had lacked theforesight of buying the same kind themselves.

A well-known authority on polo said thatwith six weeks' training, Tech.'s team wouldbe able to beat any team in the country.

The total number of pointsClass Cup is as follows:

Team Race.Running High KickThirty-five Yard DashThirty-five Yard HurdleRunning High JumpPutting Shot .Standing High JumpRope ClimbingFence Vault .Heavy-weight WrestlingLight-weight SparringLight-weight WrestlingHeavy-weight Sparring.Special-weight WrestlingSpecial-weight Sparring

Total

At a meeting c

scored for the

'93 '93

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A. C. thescore for Class Championship Cup, as givenabove, was adopted. It was decided not tocount thuds in wrestling or sparring, as therewas no way of telling who was entitled to thepoint, inasmuch as those defeated in the pre-liminary rounds do not meet. It was alsodecided not to give record cups or to countadditional points for breaking previous Tech.records in those events which were not recog-nized as standard events. Carrier, '95, con-sequently scores only five points for his firstin the rope climbing.

The date for Open Spring Indoor Meetingwas settled as March 5th. The games willbegin at 7.30, instead of 2.30 as formerly.All the events will be open to any amateur ingood standing.

Following is the list of events:--Fifty-yarddash, fifty-yard hurdle (four flights, threefeet six inches high), one-mile run, runninghigh jump, running high kick, standing broadjump, pole vault, putting I6-lb. shot, and one-mile walk.

If a permit can be obtained there will be spar-ring also. The weights will be announced later.

On January 3oth the Boston Athletic Asso-ciation will give a special boxing tournamentat which prizes will be offered in the followingclasses: For men who have never won a prizein an open boxing competition, II5, I35, andI58 pounds.

This is done with the intention of bringingout some of the local boxers who might notlike to enter against the champions. Entriesfor this class will close on January 5th, andthe prizes will not be given unless there arefour entries in each class. The entries areclosed early in order that it may be knownwhether the classes will fill or not. Addressall communications and make entries to H. S.Cornish, Exeter Street, Boston, Mass.

Because you have been successful so far,boys, be careful that your hats do not becometoo small. For if they do, you will surelyget beaten, and you will probably be spokenof very " unfeelingly." However, we do notanticipate such a catastrophe, as we do notthink that you are that kind.

The Tennis Association held a special meet-ing in Room ii last Saturday noon to discussseveral matters of importance. Consideringprevious attempts, the number present was avery satisfactory one. It was decided to openthe courts and to hold the annual tournamentnext spring. This in itself is an encouragingsign of interest. No spring dues are to becollected, but a small entrance fee will be

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charged for various good reasons. Mr. Dickeytendered the Club his resignation as treasurer,which was accepted, Mr. Rice being appointedto succeed him until the next regular election.

Expert Testimony.Moony, moony, shine on me,Make me spoony as I can be.

Sea wind, sea wind, lightly sent,Soothe us with blind sentiment.

Girly, girly,-best of all-Let me early share your shawl.

Billow, billow, only sigh,-Breast a pillowv-lullaby.

Cupid, Cupid, poise your wings.Oh ! what stupid mundane things !

Halo, halo,-mellow moon,-Such joys fail,-ah! all too soon.

Moony, mnoony, wax and wane;All youths have it just the same.

Billow, billow, roar away;They outgrow it in their day.

A BILLET DOUX.

A letter comes to me by mail to-day,Within an envelope of lightest hue,Upon the back of which are stamped in blue

Initials, but of whom I cannot say.

The post mark, it is plain, is of the town;So many firiends I have here, 'tis not strangeThat one of them should seek to interchange

A note or two with me. Why should I frown?

Why is it that I do not tear apartThis envelope that keeps its treasure hid ?Why not myself of all this trouble rid?

Relieve the pressure bearing on my heart?

No sooner thought than done. My fingers quickHave opened up the note; what's this I see?Two coats, a vest, and pairs of trousers three!

That dainty note was but a tradesman's trick!- T'rtinity Tablet.

HER THANKS.

She thanked them all for everything,From Christmas card to diamond ring;And as her gifts she gaily flaunted,She told her friends, "Just what I wanted."

But I, who had no cash to blow,Just kissed her 'neath the mistletoe.She blushed a bit, yet, never daunted,Repeated low, "Just what I wanted."

-Harvard Lampoon.

Who is Derr, '92 ?

What's your thesis ?A chased character-a chippy.A joke of antiquity- The swallow

Jonahed the whale.that

The fourth-year men have begun gatheringdata for their theses.

Mr. John W. Tarbox has been elected man-ager of '94's baseball team.

The Catalogue and the President's Reportwill be out about January Ioth.

G. E. Chapin, '92, intends to leave Tech.,and to enter the Sophomore Class at Cornell.

What's the matter with our poloSomebody said, "Absolutely flyless."

team?And

we agree.

Mr. E. B. Bird, '89, drew the cover designfor the Christmas number of the HairvardLampoon.

W. F. Spalding,Sophomore to acurred last week.

'94,broker.

has risen from aThe change oc-

The Banjo Club have had very hard luckhaving .their photograph taken. The thirdtime even didn't succeed.

On Saturday, December 26th, three gradu-ate classes held their annual dinner at Young's,-the Classes of '74, '8I, and '84.

It's out. But we understand that, contraryto custom, it does not give general satisfaction.However, perhaps they'll change it.

Thomas, '95, showed clearly that he knewhow to use his knowledge of wrestling to goodadvantage when he has a man down.

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"Look," said beautiful Miss Malaprop toher partner, a Tech. man, at. a german," aren't those men good to pioneer."

Ninety-three has 232 members, the Presi-dent's report tells us, including 92 specials.Isn't this anticipating things a little?

The committee of arrangements for '93'sdinner consisted of the following men: Tain-tor, chairman; Gorham, Boyd, Wason, andSimonds.

The constitution of the new University Club,of this city, now in active.process of forma-tion, will provide for the admission of gradu-ates of the Institute.

We are in receipt of another number in the"International Modern Language Series"edited under the direction of ProfessorsBocher and Van Daell.

Air. -, '94i: "Will you please decline'lager'."

Afr. I-ll-r (absent zindedly): "What!decline lager? Never ! !"

One day last week all the professors andinstructors of the Mining Department werelaid up with la grippe. The Miners had towork just the same, however.

Almost all the matter for "Technique" isnow in the hands of the publishers, and theproofs will be ready shortly for reviewing.Save your money for "Technique."

The Fourth-year Miners were highly en-tertained during their noon hour last Thurs-day. The bantam weights had a bout in thepit. Draw. The "ruddle" flowed freely.

Died, Monday, Dec. 2I, I89I, C. W. Scud-der, at the age of 72 years. Mr. Scudderwas for two years bursar of the Institute andmost popular with the Faculty and students.

Two old balances, long past their useful-ness, have been taken from the AnalyticalLaboratory and put on the high bookcase inthe Margaret Cheney Reading Room. Watch

Mr. Manley's trainer had not taught him the"Half-Nelson" grip in preparing him for thewrestling, or he wouldn't have sat on Mr.Crane's back and given him a punch to see ifhe was alive.

The Senior Mechanicals are on their annualhunt for trouble around the big boiler in Rog-ers. It is merely a question of time in theminds of some of us before that boiler carriesthe cream of Course II. heavenward.

On the Sunday after the Yale-Harvard foot-ball game in Springfield, one minister of thatcity, who, as it happened, was an old Yaleman, took as the subject for his sermon"Thankfulness." It was a broad field.

A reception to the Senior Class was givenWednesday afternoon, December 23d, in theMargaret Cheney Reading Room, by Mrs.Walker and Mrs. Richards, assisted by theyoung women studying at the Institute.

Experience continually warns men to keepout of all athletic events unless in the best oftraining. The condition of one of the con-testants last Saturday at the sparring meetingcaused a little excitement in the audience.

A. M. Moody, '93, who was elected captainof the Technology Polo Team, resigned onaccount of his work at the Institute. E. P.Simonds, '93, was elected in his stead. Mr.Moody, however, hopes to be able to playoccasionally.

Mr. Vaillant's large party and reception,which took place a few nights before Christ-mas, was a great success. All of the invitedguests left with a feeling of rare satisfaction,after having been treated to one of their host'sdelicious Welsh rarebits.

The fifth annual banquet of the NorthwesternAssociation of the Massachusetts Institute ofTechnology will be held in Chicago, January30, i892. All undergraduates desiring toattend may send their names to SolomonSturges, Secretary, 563 "The Rookery,"

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THEI TEmCH.I.

The Post-Office Coat Room desires to here-by express its cordial thanks to the Class of'94, which, in the person of Mr. W. L. Clarke,put so handsome a bit of cuttle fish betweenits wires at 5 P. M., December 2 4 th, thusoffsetting its steady regimen of green parsley.

If the heavy-weight men who sparred at ourlittle seance on December Ig9 th, had only hada little more ginger and life in them they mighthave made their part of the performance veryinteresting, for they certainly had the strengthand the size to make a Slavin-Sullivan set-to.

Technology plays the 'Soldiers" at poloon Thursday evening, January I4th, at nineo'clock, in Winslow's, and B. A. A. on the2Ist. Don't fail to be there, and help the teamto a couple more of victories, by your cheer-ing. You'll see lots of Tech. men, and moreexcitement.

Professor (to student in MAec/han isn):"Give the demonstration for the movement ofthe Cross-head."

Student: "I don't quite remember it, butfrom observation in the lunch room I shouldsay that it is especially violent when = isbrought into consideration.

The doctor who presided at the games atthe Tech. gym. on December i 9 th was agood specimen of the physician who loses hishead at the very time when his skill shouldbe most relied upon. When a man fainted hehesitated as to what he ought to do, while oneof the bystanders loosened the man's vest andshirt.

The struggle for priority among the anxiouswould-be employers of Tech. Seniors hasalready begun. H. R. Moody, '92, has beensought out by one Eastman, manufacturer ofa camera known as the Kodak, who desireshis assistance as chemist in the film depart-ment at Rochester. Mr. Moody has the mat-ter under consideration.

' From reports that have reached us throughthe term, it would almost seem advisable forus to give to Institute students from "removed"

sections of the country such homely advice as"Don't Blow Out the Gas," "Avoid sleepingwith open mouth," etc. But readers of THETECH have too much sense to need any suchadmonition, which would thus be useless.

The '92 election for Class Day officers lastFriday resulted as follows:-Orator, LouisDerr; Prophet, Gayle T. Forbush; Statis-tician, William Esty; Historian, Murray War-ner; First Marshall, George V. Wendell;Second Marshall, William P. Gray; Third1

Marshall, J. Scott Parrish. The staff as awhole is a good one, and the Seniors may lookforward to a successful Class Day.

All the sporting men in Tech. were verymuch surprised and disappointed at the out-come of the light-weight sparring contest atour last athletic meeting. From the xway Mr.Sturgis sparred last spring everyone fully ex-pected that he would even do better at thistime than he had done at his first appearance.But he had been under the weather for a fewdays and was not in condition for the match.

Now that Campbell, '94, has left the Insti-tute, we regret to say that the single-stick con-test has only one representative at Tech. AsMr. Campbell was in town the day of ourmeeting it was a pity he did not drop in andentertain us with a bout with his old stand-by, Mr. Beattie. The lack of grace in theheavy-weight sparring would not have beenso very apparent, if we could only have had alittle of the ease and grace of these well-knowncontestants.

A Tech. man recently overheard the follow-ing in a piano store. The patient clerk wasexpatiating on the various virtues of two in-struments,-one of celebrated make in anebony case, the other inferior, but resplendentin a beautiful mahogany finish. The clerksaid, pointing to the ebony, "You see, madam,that this piano has much the better tone, theprice is but a trifle more, and it is altogetherjust the instrument you want"; and the womananswered, looking meanwhile at the mahog-

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32THI- TEOCH.

any, " Well, you see, I don't care so muchabout the tone, but I do want a prettycase. "

G. D. Chapman, 'go, formerly a popularinstructor in Descriptive Geometry, and muchinterested in athletics, has founded an athleticclub at his home, Fitchburg. The member-ship is forty: Mr. Chapman is President.

Apropos of Mr. Chapman, a "roast" hasreached us. At a recent appearance of Dock-stader's minstrels in Fitchburg, "Lew" ad-vanced to the foot-lights and, in his inimitabletone of modesty, thus addressed his audience:-"I feel among friends to-night; I met Chappyoutside, and he introduced me to the FourHundred." The effect upon the house andupon "Chappy" was what might have beenexpected.

Wednesday, December 3oth, the Seniorsheld a class meeting. The minutes of themeetings of the Nominating Committee wereread and approved, as much as the " quorum-lacking" assembly of thirty-eight (a disgrace-fully small number at such an important meet-ing) could approve. It was voted that aplurality was sufficient for a choice in theClass-day election, and that in case of a tiethere be another balloting till a plurality isobtained. The report of the Class-photographCommittee, though ready, was not read onaccount of the miserably small number pres-ent. No action was taken on the suggestionof the Nominating Committee to have a " tail-piece," to be dubbed "The Address to theClass." The report of this Committee awaitsthe approval of the Class.

The Alumni Association held its annual meet-ing on Monday December, 28th, at Young's.Preceding the dinner there was a short busi-ness meeting, in which various committees re-ported and the officers for the ensuing yearwere elected. The most interesting report ofthe evening was given by Mr. J. R. Freeman,'76. The following officers were elected.President, Henry M. Howe, '7I; Vice Presi-

dent, James P. Munroe, '82; Secretary andTreasurer, Harry W. Tyler, '84; ExecutiveCommittee, The President, Vice Presidentand Secretary, H. C. Spaulding, '87, and W.B. Snow, '82. There were eight members ofthe Glee Club present, and the members ofthe Association appreciated their worthy effortsin the musical line. Interesting speecheswere delivered by the following gentlemen:Lieut. Spencer of the Thomson-Houston Co.(an invited guest), Dr. Williams, Capt. D. A.Lyle, '84, A. T. Bradlee, '88, and Dr. Drown.

A good story is going the rounds concerninga '93 Chemist. It seems that he recentlytook apartments in a Columbus Avenue hotelwith a roommate, a man very fond of a goodjoke. An electric button just inside the doorof the room connected with the gas, so thatby one pressure it was lit and by a secondput out. Another by the roommate's bed wasfor the same purpose, but of the existenceof this D-ll-n was not aware. One nightthe Chemist arose from bed and pressed thebutton by the door. What was his surprisewhen the light flashed up and immediatelywent out. He pressed again,-again a flashfollowed by darkness. He now changed tac-tics and approached his finger gradually to thebutton, and, wonderful to relate! before hetouched it the light flared up. Putting it out,he tried again with equal success. Why, thiswas magic! Hastening to the bedside of hisfeignedly asleep friend he awoke him, as hethought, and communicated the wonderfiulnews of his having been suddenly endowedwith magic power. "Just see me do it," hecried. And then followed a strange series ofcontortions and passes, for D-ll-n wasn't goingto do any magic without the proper accom-paniments, each attempt ending in the mostcomplete success-the gas blazed up or wasextinguished at the word of command. Atlast, flushed by his success and wellnigh ex-hausted, the would-be magician paused, theroommate went off into convulsions of laugh-ter, and the joke was out.

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Yale holds three hare and hound huntsweekly as long as good weather lasts.

The Columbia Athletic Union limits itsmembership to students who have paid in fivedollars or more.

A member of the Junior Class at Columbiahas translated into Hebrew the Declaration ofIndependence and published it in book form.

Cigarettes are becoming unpopular at Yale,because of the crusade against them in theinterest of athletics.

An attempt is being made for a chess unionbetween Yale, Harvard, Princeton, andColumbia.

An estate valued at $25,000, adjoining theAmherst campus, has been presented to thecollege, which is al'so the recipient of $30,000by a late will.

Fifty-eight men have reported themselvesas trying for the position of coxswain of the'varsity crew at Cornell.

Brown University supports a missionary inAfrica, on the Congo.

The Manhattan Athletic Club of New Yorkreports a membership of 3,000 and its netprofits for the year $30,000.

Deficiency in Freshman gymnasium workwill be counted as a condition at Williams,and the delinquents will be required to do ex-tra work next term.

A movement has been on foot at Columbiato give up athletics altogether, owing to lackof interest and the class debts of $2,834. Anattempt will be made, however, to raise

enough money to cover this sum, and also tomake a last effort to revive the former enthu-siasm for athletics.

The Faculty of Wooster University havedenied the petition of the students, and madepermanent the rule which debars the schoolfrom any participation in intercollegiate ath-letics.

We are glad to hear from "The Phi-Rhonian, an amateur journal publishedmonthly by the Phi Rho Society, devoted tothe interests of the Bath High School andSociety."

The increase in the number of colleges inthe United State every year averages aboutfifteen.

The fiaternities of the University of Mich-igan are jointly publishing a weekly periodi-cal called the Tellow and Bl1ue.

Football has been prohibited at the Univer-sity of Heidelberg, Germany.

Amherst is to add a new field of -twelveacres to her grounds.

The University of Michigan will erect aGrecian temple as her contribution to theWorld's Fair at Chicago.

One thousand seven hundred and forty-twostudents have graduated from Yale LawSchool since its founding in I824.

Ann Arbor gave an elective course inphotography last year, and it proved so suc-cessful that it is required in one departmentthis year.

Schoff, end rush, has been awarded thewatch offered to the member of the Universityof Penn. eleven doing the best work.

The Soldier's Field at Harvard is soon tobe leveled off, a new boathouse built, twogrand stands and a running track constructed.

The Sophomores at Cornell have objectedto the regulations made by the upper classmenin regard to a substitute for the cane rush.These regulations provided for a football anda baseball game and winter meeting.

i

133lrl-IF� r]EICI-T.

4THE TE;CH.

The new Yale gymnasium will cost$200,000, and will probably be 'completedby April I, I892.

The new chemical laboratory at Princeton,just completed, is claimed to be the most con-venient in the country.

Five hundred students of the University atKief, Russia, were recently arrested by thegovernment for revolutionary actions.

,,At the new Chicago University four quar-ters, each composed of two terms of sixweeks, will cover the entire year; for vaca-tion a student may choose any two terms.

The Senate of Cambridge University by avote of 525 to 185, has rejected the propositionto dispense with the study of Greek.

At Harvard two prizes of $6o and $40 areoffered to members of the Junior and Sopho-more classes, for the most profitable course ofreading pursued during the year. The judgeswho decide the award are instructed to givedue weight to the considerations of health inthe case of competitors for the prizes.

The bisection of Greece by a canal con-necting the Gulfs of Athens and Corinth isnearly accomplished. The cutting is astraight and level one, 96 wide and 36 deep.It has no locks. A railroad bridge spans itat the Corinth end, but at such a height, I64feet, as to afford no hindrance to vessels pass-ing through. It is estimated that at least1,200 of these, averaging I,500 tons each, willannually use this new and shorter passage.

It is said that Mrs. Leland Stanford haspurchased one hundred and fifty handsomelybound Bibles, to be placed in the students'rooms at the Stanford University. The sameauthority states there were a thousand moreapplicants at that place than could be ac-commodated.

During the summer of I89I there were28,625 students enrolled in the twenty-twoGerman universities, about 600 less than dur-ing the winter term, and nearly 800o less than

during the summer of 'g o .

"VAIN pomp and glory of this world, I hate you."The Lounger uses this quotation to show how he feelstoward all of the vain follies and great customs of theworld in general. Christmas has passed now these twoweeks; and yet he can only have a feeling of deepsorrow and pain when he thinks of that day of all theyear, which should make every one feel happy andcontented. Yes ! Christmas was a failure this year withThe Lounger. Perhaps Santa Claus was not very wellimpressed with the Lounger's behavior for the pastyear, and had neglected him for this reason. Butsurely this could not be the case; why, the. Lounger'sone thought is self-abasement and the welfare of hisfellow-students ! In the year just passed he cannotthink of a single case when he has not thought ofothers and allowed the moths and rust to collect onmany things which he holds most near and dear.

No matter what the reason; the fact still remains,The Lounger's Christmas was not a happy one, andfearing lest some of his friends may also have spent amiserable holiday, he thinks it his duty to inform theTEcH-reading world of his misfortune, with the hopethat perhaps some may have spent a more unfortunateday.

It is only necessary as a preliminary statement torefer our readers to the last issue of TECH, in whichThe Lounger mentions the fact that he is a creationof the genus-man, and species-boarding-houseman.With this fact borne well in mind the reader cannotbut begin to read with a feeling of pity for any onewhose lot is cast in such a place at this time of theyear, when every one should be so jolly and glad.

On Christmas eve The Lounger noticed, to his hor-ror, that a cloud of discontent and unrest was settlingdown, like the forerunners of an impending storm, onthe faces of all of his fellow-boarders. It was at thedinner table that this terrible thought first came tohim, and he decided that it was his first duty to tryand dispel the dark glances and angry looks of his

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134

THE TEC-IH.

landlady, for he had an intuition that she was thecause to a great extent of any disaster which mightoccur in the near future. To be sure, the griddlecakes were a trifle heavier than the U. S. post officesadmit as second-class matter, but they never had beenlight enough for a two-cent stamp, and were usuallydispatched by the pound. Yet The Lounger couldnot satisfy himself as to the first cause of the presentuneasiness. Just when he was thinking in his latestapproved fashion, he reached across the table for abiscuit. It was a masterly attempt, as the boardersthe next day told him; but the biscuit was a trifleheavy, and when he had almost gotten it safely landedon his plate, with a wavering motion like a 40,000-lbs.-capacity crane with a 5o,ooo-lb. load, he un-fortunately let it slide out of his grasp and over theedge of the table. A noise like the sound of thunderbehind the stage and a grease spot. The biscuit hadsimply fallen on the pet cat of the household, and it isneedless to add that the cat had resigned in favor ofthe grease spot, which will remain until the end oftime, The Lounger thinks, as a warning to boarding-house cats who persist in "coming to table," and alsoa warning to young wives who happen to thinkthat their biscuits are just as good as mamma's.From force of circumstances the Lounger was com-pletely crushed, and his only attempt the rest ofthe meal was not to be heard. Thus all of his goodintentions were nipped in the bud, and when he aroseto leave the table, the glance that he cast around con-vinced him that matters had not changed for the best.

While searching the nooks and corners of his wideexperience for available Loungerisms, the Loungercame across a little adventure which befell him duringhis extensive travels. Adventure is perhaps too stronga word, as this incident does not savor of hair-breadthescapes, or even hardship or danger, but such as it is,he begs to present it to his readers.

It was in Jacksonville, where he had just arrivedalone and a perfect stranger, having come from Tampavia the St. Johns River and St. Augustine, and it wasthe year after the yellow-fever epidemic. A new policeforce was on, and very jealous indeed were they in theperformance of their duty, as we shall see. TheLounger was walking down the business street of thecity, and stopped to ask a direction of a police ser-geant whom he met. The officer gave the informa-tion, eyeing the Lounger closely meanwhile, and re-marked, "It seems to me I have seen you before;will you tell me your name ?" The Lounger modestly

gave' his well-known cognomen, stated that he was astranger in the city, and -mentioned incidentally, asthe officer walked along beside him, that he had comeup from Tampa. At last the sergeant drew him intoa stairway, and said solemnly that all further conceal-ment was useless. This remarkable statement notproducing the result possibly expected, the officerwent on to say that the Lounger answered the descrip-tion of a man they were looking for, and that unlesshe could produce satisfactory evidence of identity, hemust " come along" to headquarters. The Lounger,much surprised, pulled out various papers, bills andletters bearing his name, among them a letter of intro-duction to a prominent gentleman in the city, all ofwhich the sharp officer unhesitatingly denominated"trash and probably stolen," and so the Loungermeekly followed to the station, not even being ac-corded the dignity of a patrol wagon. After remaininglocked up for a while, the Lounger was brought beforethe chief, who with the sergeant conducted a carefulexamination. It now transpired that he was supposedto be the perpetrator of a robbery of five hundreddollars from a bank in Tampa, answered the descrip-tion to a T, and had arrived in Jacksonville on theday expected.

Search was made for the $ 5 00-it was not found.Probably no stranger was ever leaving Florida withsuch an amount. Nothing will ever equal in brilliancythis examination, which left the Lounger in the con-dition of the drunken man who was heard to mutter-"Am I am I, if I'm not am I, who in the d-1 amn I?"Great are the intellects of the police. Among otherthings, the Lounger's past history, infancy, and ances-try were solemnly inquired into; his habits, travels,politics, and health discussed; the letter of introduc-tion upon which his hopes rested first termed a forgeryand then a theft; and then, when no further theorizingwas possible, the bright idea was hit upon of sendingit for inspection to the gentleman to whom it was ad-dressed. The reply asserting its genuineness, Loungerwas placed under surveillance and allowed to presentthe letter in person. This settled the matter, which,after all, should have been a very simple one, and therest of a short stay in the city was very pleasant, forthe dlenouement was not till later, when, the Loungerbeing far on his way North, bank officials arrived inTampa and accused the friend in need, himself a directorin the institution, with having through credulity assistedin the escape of a rascal. When later on the real thiefwas arrested in Tennessee, it is needless to say thatapologies were immediate and profuse.

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135

THE T- i F-iCH.

HE PREFERRED A CONTRAST.

Her cheeks are like a red, red rose,Her lips are like a cherry.

From cheeks and lips, alas! her noseIn color does not vary.-Trinity Tablet.

A DIFFERENCE IN TERMS.

I wrote a verse to Mary Ann,Also some lines to Cora,

Later, an ode to Margaret,And then a rhyme to Nora.

Alas! the girls as old school chumsCompared notes with agility;

Said my lines showed base fickleness.I call it versatility.-Oberlin Review.

AND ABSOLUTELY PURE.

That advertising woodcutIn our cotnic journal,

Of the urchin with his eyes shut,Undergoing scrub diurnal,

Proves the maxim;s lasting truth,"Where there's life, there's soap" for youth.

-- Trinity Tablet.

A PARTING.

'Twas time to end my callAnd homeward hie,

She came into the hallTo say good-bye.

Well, chide me if you list,Such life who could resist?Not I, who rashly kissed

Her on the sly.

But then, a swift regret.Alas for me

If naught but frowns I met!I turned to flee.

I feared that all was o'er,Her smile I'd win no more.She calmly locked the door

And hid the key.-Yale Record.

ONE MORE ON THE HUB.

"How alike are my darlings !" the fond mother cries,As o'er the twins' cradle she tenderly leans.

"Yes, indeed," says her cultured Bostonian friend,"They resemble each other as much as two beans."

-Brunonian.

A QUERY.

Though this is not an "Aggies"' school,Where farmers till the soil,

But college, where the men are foundWho otherwise do toil;

Why is it in our building here,Though it was built for men,

In every section that we goWe find a college hen?

-Trinity Tablet.

RONDEAU.

(From the French of Voiture.)

"'Mafoi, c'est fait de moi, car 15abeau."

By Jove, I'm done for now, for IsabeauHas conjured me to write her a rondeau.

This renders my embarrassment extreme;What! thirteen lines to rhyme with eau or eme!

'Twere easier to build a boat, I know.

And now but five are done, a modest show.The writing of a rondeau must be slow.

Now seven, now eight, add to complete the scheme;By Jove, I'm done!

Again five verses must be writ in row,Each verse in rhyme and metre so-and-so;

Eleven are done, and now I really seemNear finished. Adding one more rhyme, say deem,

To close, I simply have to write below,By Jove, I'm done!

-- Trinity Tablet.

THE BIBLIOPHILE.

I sometimes wish that I could beA very bookish man,

And read old authors lovingly,As only bookworms can.

To sit curled up before one's fire,A pipe between one's lips,

Absorbed in Herrick, Gay, or Prior,The while old wine one sips,

Seems such a very perfect life,The kind one reads about,

Where sorrow, envy, care, and strifeHave all been trundled out.

I dream that I'm a bibliophileAnd run to first editions,

To bindings rare in every style-

Illusory cognitions!I try to read,-but as a rule

Soon rest in silent sleep;My tastes,-just cigarettes and pool,-

Are very low and cheap.

It's very nice to dream such dreams,To fancy this and that,

But when one retrospects, it seemsOne's thinking through one's hat.

-Harvard Lamj)oon.

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