The Sentinella Malaga May 2014

The ‘FREE’ little mag that fits in your bag

The SentinellaMálaga Edition

952 477 963 / 677 712 742

No 82 May 14The Sentinella Malaga

I have to say it makes it incredibly worthwhilewhen we receive mails from the readers tellingus how much they love the magazine and lifeis not worth living until the new edition arriveseach month… KEEP IT UP WE LOVE IT! Atsome point we may start printing outrageousexperiences or stories you may wish to intimately share with the Málaga Province! Allthe grinches and grumps can also have theirsay of course, can’t have smooth without therough! So don’t be shy, address all your prob-lems to DEAR [email protected]

It never ceases to amaze me, the weird andwonderful characters I meet along the CostaDel Sol. Each have their own story to tell, howthey’ve come to be here, why they’ve decidedto embark on a new life or new business in aforeign country. Many have tried and failed,many continue to develop, change and adaptto the current downturn and continue to prosper but there will always be the allure ofliving in the best climate in all of Europe, tosoak up its golden rays and swim in it’s warmwaters. The addictive appeal of opening a bottle of the “good stuff” and unwinding on theterrace overlooking the mountains or the sea,most of us can settle for that!

Of course that’s not all we have on ourdoorstep to enjoy. Our resident city, Málaga, isbuzzing with energy and vigor of an evening.Many of the theatres host productions fromonly the best of local independent productioncompanies. My daughter and I will attend aproduction called “The Thief Of Voices” andfor a live theatre experience which costs lessthan the price of a cinema ticket, it need notbe as expensive as you may think!

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pictures may be copied, used or reproduced

without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for

alterations to events listed, claims made by our

advertisers or information provided by our

contributors.

Deposito LegalMA-226-2007

CONTACT US:

The Sentinella Team

Sales: 696 116 552

Deadline date: 18th of each month

Email: [email protected]

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From

the Ed...

To advertise call 696 116 552 or email [email protected] 3

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts4

With the combination of all the charismatic

local bars, cafés and restaurants in the

surrounding areas, each with their unique

style, tradition and spontaneous

entertainment provided by “Don Pepito” in the

corner passionately extracting every ounce of

volume from his battered and worn acoustic

guitar.. It all makes for a complete

experience. The amount of times I’ve heard

people say “I’ve been here for 10 years and I

don’t go into Málaga much!” Give it a shot it’s

all there for you to discover and possibly

remind you of why you ever did come to live

here in the first place!

Have a nice May!!

J.J. - The Ed

Page 12 - Food RagePage 14 - Amazing Marine Life Page 16 - Film Review Page 19 - Rare Historical PhotosPage 20 - Funny Pics Page 29 - Recipe Of The MonthPage 38 - PaparazziPage 39 - Golf EthicsPage 48 - Countries of the worldPage 50 - Useless Facts Page 52 - Horoscopes Page 54 - Information Page 56 - JokesPage 58 - Puzzle Pages Page 60 - Top TensPage 62 - Sentiyella Pages

‘Fetch A Sirloin For The Dog' Facebookpage of Waitrose shoppers' conversationsgoes viral. A Facebook page which lists shoppers' conversations 'Overheard in Waitrose' has become an internet hit receiving more than 83,000 likes in a fewdays. Whether these posts are real conversations or just the Facebook pagepoking fun at how upmarket Waitrose is another matter entirely. The Facebook pagewas set up in April 14 and despite sharing justover a dozen posts it has so far garnered83,188 likes. The most popular post, whichhas more than 8,000 likes, said: "Daddy doeslego have a silent 'T', like merlot?"While another said: "Gosh you have to bemillionaires to shop here. Just as well weare!"And one of the most recent posts said: "NoJennie you can't only serve olives at yourtenth birthday party... now go and fetch a sirloin for the dog."An upmarket shopper was also believed tohave said: "Darling, do we need parmesan forboth houses?"Another post said: "Luciano behave! Childrenthese days... I blame the au pairs."The 'Overheard in Waitrose' page said it publishes "words often heard permeating theaisles of Britain's poshest supermarket."It follows in the footsteps of the 'Women WhoEat on Tubes' Facebook group which wentviral this week.A Waitrose spokesman said: "It's nice to seepeople having a bit of fun."

The Farting Cat - We have all heard of thecat that got the cream, but Lenny seems tobe the cat that ate the beans.The unfortunate black and white feline hasbeen returned to the animal shelter becausehe suffers from excessive flatulence. The windy moggy was rescued from a NewYork park in February and nursed back tohealth at Scottsville Veterinary Hospital andPet Adoptions in Washington. He wassnapped up as a perfect pet last month, butwas returned after just two-days for causing astink in the family home. The intake papersfilled in by his gassed out owners said: "hefarts all the time."But staff at the shelter say they fortunatelyhaven't yet had been exposed to his embarrassing issue. A post appeared on thecentre's Facebook page from Lenny whichread: "Hello! I was returned today because Ifart too much. "I am hoping I can find a per-son who can love me even with my stinkyfarts.

Strange News

To Advertise Call 696 116 552

Non-Surgical Facelifts

6

They are all therage at the moment,

especially ifyou don’t wantto go under the

knife. Non-Surgical

Facelifts without the

pain!

How does itwork? When the facialmuscles begin to shrink the drooping effect onthe face can be very aging. By rebuilding theaging muscle mass to its previous state theface is fuller. This fuller, healthier look alsohelps to eliminate many lines and wrinkles because the muscles are subject to "powerbuilding". Pads are placed in various poitionson your face and an electric current is passedinto your muscles. It’s called the BasendaleWave invented by Dr. Ronald Baxendale.

When do I start to see the results? Dr. Baxendale developed the Genie Machineup to one thousand times stronger than anything else available on the market. Resultsare visible after the first session.

How long is each treatment and how longwill it last? Each treatment takes aproximately 25 minutes. After a course of 10 treatments,monthly maintenance is recommended. Thiswill maintain the effect gained. Once or twicemonthly treatments will not only maintain, butalso continue to improve facial features.

Who benefits? Anyone over the age of 20. Mature peoplewhose muscles are starting to shrink will seegreat benefit and it is for both men andwomen.

How much does it cost? We have recently decreased our prices due tothe recession. A course of 5 treatments is22.50€ per session, a total of 112.50€. Whenbooking a course of 10, the price is 20€ persession, 200€ for the course. We also offer atrial session which is 12€.

For more information on this or any hairand beauty questions call us on

952 931 777 or see main advert opposite

654 010 903

[email protected]

SP INSTALLATIONHigh Quality Construction

& Reform Company

Kitchens, bathrooms & all kinds of construction

No job too small or big

Free Quote

Your Advert Here For Just

25 euros per month

BOOK TODAY!!

Call: 696 116 552

[email protected]

ROBBIE

STEVENSONVocalist and all round entertainer

sonGs tHrouGH tHe decades sPecial scottisH eVeninGs

aFFordaBle entertainMentPriVate Parties. Bars. Hotels

call: 952 05 30 67 / 664 34 28 [email protected]

Sales Staff Required At The Sentinella?Email your C.V to

[email protected] experience not essential English & Spanish speaking

95To advertise call 696 116 552 or email [email protected] 9

Tacko Fall is 7ft 5in despite being just 18years old.

The schoolboy who is terrorising the basketball courts. He is 7ft 5in tall, has aneight-foot wingspan and wears size 22 shoes- meet Tacko 'Taco' Fall one of the tallest basketball players in the world.

Fall is so tall that he is almost able to put theball in the basket with barely a jump and ismobbed wherever he appears as a juniorcentre on the Tavares Liberty Christian Prepteam in Florida.He said: "Everywhere I go, people want totake pictures, talk to me and shake my hand,but I am getting used to it now."Every once in a while I forget to duck when Iwalk through a door and I recently hit myhead on a ceiling fan. It almost knocked meout. It hurt."

Fall eats entire pizzas covered in chicken andhamburger to keep weight on his 250-poundframe and stands a good half-foot taller thanany other player in his league.

He even has a seven-year-old brother who al-ready stands 5 ft 9ins.

But playing basketball professionally is not hisbiggest dream. He wants to be a biochemist.

World’s Tallest Youth Basketball Player

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

De Cotta Law

10

Property Talk with De Cotta Property

With offices serving foreign residents and residential tourists across the Costa del Sol,and in the Canary Islands, some of Spain’smost important property markets, De Cotta-Law has a good understanding of trends inthe sector.

De Cotta Law offers independent conveyancing services in English, Spanish,Danish, Dutch and French to investors wishing to buy here, or property owners wanting to sell their properties. The firms hasseen a number of trends emerge:

There is strong demand from Belgium,Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries:

De Cotta Law has seen the recovery in property investment from these markets. Ofcourse UK and German buyers remain, andgrowth is visible, but the number of Dutch,Belgian and Scandinavian buyers is notable.

Location, Quality & Presentation:Clients are more discerning than ever, andare looking to invest in a well-built and maintained property, in a quality location.Vendors that maintain and present their properties well are having greater successwith gaining a sale. Location, with relation toaccess to the airport, schools, beach, golf andcountryside are more important as manyinvestors are buying for lifestyle now, ratherthan to make money.

Sellers are listing properties again:De Cotta Law has an independent sister company, De Cotta Property, based in Coínthat offers real estate services to clients insouthern Spain and beyond. With the influx ofcorporate investors in Spain, the emergingimpact of the ‘Golden Visa’ and the strong recovery in the top end of the luxury propertymarket, there are now growing signs of movement in the middle market. Owners whohave been ‘sitting tight’ during the past fewyears are now listing their properties, as theyrecognise there is renewed movement andinterest in southern Spain´s residentialtourism and foreign resident property market.

De Cotta Law offers FREE, private consultations to property buyers and sellers.There are offices in Mijas-Costa/Calahonda,Coín, Nerja and Tenerife. Property servicesinclude conveyancing for buying & selling;Transfers & Leases, as well as Mortgage andTax information. De Cotta Law can also helpyou comply with planning laws, legalise ruralproperties, and litigate against developers forlost deposits, and bank guarantees.www.decottalaw.comTel: +34 952 931 781

De Cotta Property is an independent real estate firm that provides property sales

and marketing services, as well as specialisedProperty probate & property

inheritance service – feel free to visit theirCoín for a free consultation.

www.decottaproperty.net Tel: +34 951315161

For more information about Property Lawin Spain, please book a private

consultation with De Cotta Law. Offices inMijas/Calahonda, Coin, Nerja and Tenerife


Humorous repostes...

He said to me..... I don't know why you weara bra; you've got nothing to put in itI said to him...... You wear pants don't you?

He said to me..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?I said to him...... That's a good idea - youstand by the stove & sink while I sit on thesofa and do nothing but fart....

He said to me.... What have you been doingwith all the grocery money I gave you?I said to him...... Turn sideways and look inthe mirror!

He said to me..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?I said to him...... They don't have time.

He said to me...... How many men does ittake to change a roll of toilet paper?I said to him....... I don't know; it has never

happened.

He said to me..... Why is it difficult to find menwho are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?I said to him ..... They already haveboyfriends.

He said to me..... What do you call a womanwho knows where her husband is everynight?I said to him.... A widow.

He said to me..... Why are married womenheavier than single women?I said to him .... Single women come home,see what's inthe fridge andgo to bed. Married womencome home,see what's inbed and go tothe f r idge .

He Said To Me....... And I Said To Him


Food Rage

12

From cupcakes to burgers, customers arelashing out at restaurant staff when theservice or food is not what they expect.Here are some examples of when foodrage has struck.

1) Cupcake rage in CardiffPolice are examining CCTV footage to trace awoman who physically assaulted a shopowner after they ran out of her favourite cupcake. According to reports, the owner ofSugarswirlz in Cardiff told the woman theSweet Tooth cake, costing £2.20 each, hadsold out. Owner Sally Dodd then said thewoman went “ballistic”, throwing herself onthe floor, smashing glass cabinets and pullingthe shop owner’s hair. She left the shop,causing around £400 worth of damage. Sallyexplained “she didn’t even wait for us to tellher that if she waited we could bake somefresh cupcakes for her”.

2) US woman jailed for McNugget rageOn New Year's Day 2010 Melodi Dushane

pulled into a McDonald's drive-through inToledo, Ohio, looking for some chickennuggets. When the assistant told her it was6am and they were only serving breakfast,she got out of her car, punched the assistantrepeatedly and smashed the drive-throughwindow before speeding off. She was sent toan Ohio jail and ordered to pay $1,500 indamages.

3) Man shoots at Taco Bell staff becausethe restaurant was closed In 2009 a man pulled into a Taco Bell drive-through in Miami for a late night snackat 3.30am. When he was told that the restaurant had closed at 2am, he didn't justshrug and drive away. He parked the car andwaited for staff to leave the restaurant, beforefiring at them with his gun. One worker wasshot in the leg. Willie Moreno, of Miami policesaid it was "incredible that someone wouldget so upset...to shoot at these individualsresponsible for not serving them breakfast."


4) Customer tasers restaurant staff overmustard and mayonnaise In 2010, staff at a Wendy's restaurant inFlorida got a shock of a different kind whenthey encountered an angry customer, who reportedly objected to the amount of mustardand mayonnaise she received with her order.Twenty-year-old Melanese Reid allegedlychased staff around the kitchen with a tasergun and fled with her companion when staffthreatened to call police. The women werelater pulled over by police, who found a pinktaser in their possession. According to reports, Melanese claimed she had acted inself-defence.

5) Man rams car and threatens staff withgun while waiting for orderAccording to reports by police, TimothyBraddee Jr placed an order at an Arby'sdrive-through in Fayette County in Pennsylvania, US. But when his order tooklonger than expected, he started to ram thecar in front of him. When he got to the drive-through window he pulled out a loaded

rifle and threatened staff. The episode wascaptured on CCTV. Police later found thedriver at home with high levels of alcohol inhis blood.

6) Woman at US McDonald’s trashesrestaurant because of an “inferior burger”- complaining AFTER she ate itCCTV footage from a McDonald’s restaurantin Kansas City shows a woman who reactedbadly when she complained about an "inferior" burger - after she had eaten it. Videofootage shows the woman throwing a bucketof water at staff, along with a “wet floor” signand various other items. Even the cash regis-ters weren’t spared.

8) Man punches teenage girl over who wasin line first In this attack, a man can be seen punching ateenage girl to the ground in a McDonald'srestaurant in Los Angeles. CCTV images cap-ture the moment when the man lashed out ather after an argument over who was first inthe queue.

Food Rage (Continued)

Fact 1: Barracudas vary in size, dependingon the species. Largest species of barracudacan reach 6 feet in length and weigh up to103lbs.

Fact 2: Barracuda has elongated body withpointed head. It has two dorsal fins and tailfin shaped like a fork.

Fact 3: Barracuda has very sharp, dagger-like teeth which prevent slipping ofthe prey from the mouth.

Fact 4: Barracuda's diet consists of differenttypes of fish: groupers, anchovies, mullets,snappers… Besides fish, barracuda

sometimes eatssquids and crustaceans.Shiny objects attractbarracuda's attention.Because of that, barracuda usuallyhunts fish with goldenor silver scales.

Fact 5: Barracuda is nocturnal animal

Fact 6: Barracuda can swim at the speed of25 miles per hour.

Fact 7: Barracuda prefers solitary life, but itsometimes gathers in groups called"schools". Life in a group provides safety andfacilitates hunting (group of barracuda huntscooperatively).

Fact 8: Barracuda's age can be determinedby counting the rings on the scales and onthe otolith (structure in the inner ear). Number of rings matches the age of the fish.

Fact 9: Barracuda can survive from 10 to 15years in the wild.

Our new re

gular A-Z m

onthly

feature is all about th

e Marine Life

that y

ou

can see at The Sealife

Centre in

Benalmadena.

BARRACUDA


Amazing

Marine L

ife

14

For when the man you really don’t fancytries chatting you up

HE: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for aface like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been lookingfor a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was ittwice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make thesame mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs. HE: What would you say if I asked you to marryme?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at thesame time.

HE: Shall we go see a movie? SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before? SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty? SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple. SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.


Cool Knockbacks

"In the beginning, there wasnothing." So starts this versionof the story centered on Noah(Russell Crowe), the man entrusted by God to save theinnocent animals of Earth asthe rising floodwaters cleansedthe planet of mankind's evil. As the tellingcontinues, we learn how Adam and Eve's sinshave passed down through generationsthrough their sons Cain and Abel, and howthe descendants of their righteous siblingSeth were entrusted with defending creation. One day, while foraging in the country, a descendant of Seth, Noah, sees his fatherslain by a descendant of Cain. In the process,Noah's birthright is stolen from him.

Decades later, as a father of three, Noah experiences a vision foretelling the great floodthat will wash over the Earth, destroying

every living thing that stands on the soil.That vision leads Noah to seek out his grandfather, Methuselah, in order to understand his mission. When a secondvision reveals that Noah is to construct amassive ark designed to shelter every living animal during the great flood,Noah, his wife Naameh (Jennifer Connelly), their three sons Shem (Douglas Booth), Ham (Logan Lerman),and Japheth (Leo McHugh Carroll), andtheir adoptive sister (Emma Watson) immediately begin construction on the

vessel with the help of the Watchers, a raceof angels created as beings of light, but encrusted in stone and mud and forsaken byGod for their attempts to help man. Meanwhile, word of Noah's work soonreaches Tubal Cain (Ray Winstone), whogathers an army on a mission to overtake theark, and survive the coming storm by anycost.

Rating ****/*****


Film

Review

16

Noah


The Mad Monk in La Carihuela, Torremolinosbehind hotel Cabello hasnow been open for 3 successful years and continues to go fromstrength to strength.

Cliff and Mamie, the owners,have been in La Carihuelafor over 10 years and have recently given TheMad Monk a little make over. They pridethemselves on providing something for everyone. This large bar with comfortableseating and a sunny terrace also has a greatreputation for Homemade food, including theirever popular Sunday Roasts, Lamb Shanksand Daily Specials.

They have a Multi Satellite system showingall sports in High Definition (HD) and all yourfavourite soaps and programmes from theUK.

They have a pool table with a team in the

The bar also has free Wifi and a printer isavailable for customers if they need BoardingCards etc. printed.

Parties can be catered for, large or small,they have their own Karaoke system for suchevents. There really is something for everyone.

The Mad Monk is a very popular Bar for ex-pats and holidaymakers alike. They arenot Mad though, so why not pop in andgive them a try!!

See main advert below.

The Mad Monk - La Carihuela Torremolinos

local league on a Thursday night, and darts ona Tuesday who are also in the local leagueand Saturday is Bingo/Quiz night.


Guess The Building ?

18

Viagra's head office in Toronto, CanadaCan't accuse the Canadians of not having a sense of humour

To advertise call 696 116 552 or email [email protected]

Rare Historical Photos

19

Andy Warhol

Warhol photographed the boxer, MuhammadAli, in 1977 as part of his 'Athletes' series.The project was initiated by the art collectorand sports enthusiast, Richard Weisman,and featured the likes of the footballer, Pelé,and golfer, Jack Nicklaus. At first Warhol wasunfamiliar with the sports stars but characteristic of his obsession with fame, herecalled: “I really got to love the athletes because they are the really big stars”. Ali wasnot an easy subject but Warhol managed tocapture a powerful shot with the boxer’s fistspoised, ready to punch. Prior to printing thefamous image Warhol worked into the surface with paint to create the impression ofmovement.

Mandela & MichaelJackson

Jackson first visited Africa in 1974 at age 14;he and his brothers traveled to Senegal, inWest Africa. According to a recently releasedfilm covering the trip, while there, the group“performed specially written songs” andtoured the country.

At age 33 Michael returned to the Continent,where he traveled to Gabon, Ivory Coast,and other countries. At every stop the wildlypopular Jackson drew large and enthusiasticcrowds. In Gabon, the spectators were morenumerous than Nelson Mandela’s. And in theIvory Coast, Jackson’s crowds were largerthan those that came out for the Pope! During that trip, which was poorly reported inthe U.S., Jackson prioritised humanitarianacts for example visiting children in schoolsand the sick in hospitals.

Funny P

ics

Priceless Captio

ns


PaINTINg ThEPaINTINg ThE

ChuRCh...ChuRCh...

There was a Scottish painter

named Smokey MacGregor who

was very interested in making a

penny where he could, so he

often thinned down his paint to

make it go a wee bit further. As it

happened, he got away with this

for some time, but eventually the

local church decided to do a big

restoration job on the outside of

one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid and,

because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and

setting up the planks, and buying the paint

and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down

with turpentine.........

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding,

painting away, the job nearly

completed, when suddenly

there was a horrendous clap

of thunder, the sky opened

and the rain poured down

washing the thinned paint

from all over the church and

knocking Smokey clear off

the scaffold to land on the

lawn among the grave-

stones, surrounded by tell-

tale puddles of the thinned

and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He

knew this was a judgment

from the Almighty, so he got down on his

knees and cried:

"Oh God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I

do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.

(you're going to love this)

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

S u a v e l i c i o u s n e w m e n u

Tel: 952 661 985 www.suavecafe.com

paseo maritimo rey de espana 93 los boliches fuengirola


Two Mexican detectives were investigating

the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a 'hole in

Juan'.

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported

that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued

Wellington Hospital, saying that after her

husband had surgery there, he lost all interest

in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied:

"Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract

surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight."

Random Jokes

TORREMOLINOS 3 bed, 3 bath, 1 toiletsemi detached house,

huge lounge, basement,garage & driveway,

private pool, 250m2 built.Year 2003.

299.000€ neg.

PLAYAMAR

In need of reform

2/3 bedroom duplex

penthouse 115m2

Just 85.000€

PLAYAMAR3 bedroom luxury

penthouse, 2 bathrooms,

large terrace, views,133m2, beautiful at

215.000€

BAJONDILLO TORREMOLINOS

Investment opportunity, prime spot

Bajondillo Playa

3 bedroom semi detached house,

50m to beach, in need of reform, 120m2.

240.000€

LOS ALAMOS - 1bed, 1 bathroom apartment, 56m2, large south facing terrace,pool, 69.000€LOS ALAMOS - Studio apartments, choice of 3 43.000 - 53.000€PLAYAMAR - Townhouse, 4 bedrooms, 2 bath, patios, garage and storeroom230.000€PLAYAMAR Eucaliptos Townhouse 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1 toilet, large roofterrace 229.000€

MISSING BBC, ITV, CH4 & 5, etc... we have IPTV boxes with full tv guide, tvbox sets, on demand, movies etc 125€ installed. See it working in our office

FREE ENERGY CERTIFICATES!!

Offer From 1st January we will refund

the cost of any energy efficiency reports

if your property is then sold by us

(up to maximum 180 euros)

Our certificates cost from 75 euros +

IVA (50m2 or less)


Find The ............?In this picture, simply find the face!

Last month’s answer on page 60

23

Office in Playamar, Torremolinos, C/ninive Local 3, next to Prince of Wales Tel: 952 38 40 46

www.playamarproperties.com / [email protected]

Formerly Dreamtime Properties Inmobiliaria


What is SEPA? The Single Euro Payments Area(SEPA) is making euro payments faster, safer andmore efficient within the 34 EU countries. It enablescustomers to make cashless euro payments to anyone within the EU. What are the ways to pay using SEPA?1. SEPA credit transfer - A single way to transferfunds nationally or anywhere within the EU.2. SEPA direct debit - Now charges can be madedirectly to an account in one EU country for services provided by a company based in anothercountry.3. SEPA for cards - Customers can convenientlyuse the same cards they use for national purchases, anywhere in Europe. Merchants will accept all cards, making payment processes easierand more attractive.

SEPA standards required for full introduction1. IBAN - IBAN is the International Bank Account Number that identifies your account anywhere in the world. With a maximum of 34 digitsit includes the following in order: 2 digits countrycode, 2 digits check digit 30 digits (max) accountidentification specific to each country, UK IBAN example: GB19 LOYD 3096 1700 7099 432. BIC - BIC (Bank Identifier Code) numbers will bephased out for cross-border payments by Feb 16.

3. PAYMENT CARDS - All payment cards will bemigrated from magnetic strip to EMV chip. There iscurrently no date for completion.Timeline for the SEPA processThe processbegan in 1999 and is now in the final migrationphase. February 2014: Credit transfers and direct debits inthe EU should be carried out in accordance withthe standards mentioned above. A six month transition period is being introduced.February 2016: For niche products with specificcharacteristics a longer transition phase is made forin some countries. 31 October 2016: EU memberstates with non-euro currencies must adhere tostandards set for credit transfers and direct debitsin euros, by this end date.SEPA indicators. Key facts at a glance.SEPA credit transfers as a % of total EU transac-tions is 93.9%*SEPA direct debit as a % of total transactions is80.3%*EMV transactions as a % of total transactions is79.6%***February 2014-03-21 **June 2013

If you would like to contact Linea Directa pleasecall 902 123 104 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

SEPA. Means Safe & Effieicnt Payments In Spain


Benamargosa is a lively village that stands atthe heart of the Vélez-Málaga region anddates back to the 15th century to the time ofthe Moriscos, Moorish converts to Christian-ity. As you drive past Axarquia airport thescenery changes to a lush, tropical paradise,resplendently verdant with avocado andmango trees vying for attention betweenlemon and orange groves. The mostly dryriver bed winds its way past Triana villageuntil it comes to Benamargosa bridge,Puente de los diez ojos, so named becauseof the 10 arches or eyes. Usually dry the riverbed is used as a road for the farmers whowork the land on either side and the manyresidents who have houses dotted along itfrom Triana to Cútar. Most days you findgoats, mules, donkeys and horses lazilypassing along it. Just opposite the bridge arelovely gardens with an avenue of trees andflowers, a central fountain featuring 4 nakedgirls, a childrens play area and a municipalswimming pool with sunbathing area, childspool and cafeteria. The annual Fiesta delCampo erects a stage close to the bridgewhere performers entertain all night and visitors are offered Baticates, the local drinkof avocado, cinnamon and a host of secretingredients, followed later by an enormous

paella with beer and wine. There is also alarge, flat, municipal area used for everythingand anything including the annual Bull Fight.Also in the lower part of the village is theChurch of St. Mary of the Incarnation wherebaptisms took place as early as 1546. Thischurch has an interesting piece of architec-ture where a huge archway joins the churchto a neighbouring house! As you walk onwards and upwards throughthe village there are several long straightstreets and other more narrow ones thatweave their way across. There is a lovelysquare where the old town hall used to bewith a pretty fountain and some very oldhouses some of which have been beautifullyrenovated. Higher up are the gardens of SanSebastián with stone steps leading up andthrough a narrow passageway dividing twohouses, you can rest in these gardens as thetown hall have thoughtfully provided severalbenches. Attached to the new town hall is a 24 hourhealth clinic, a little further on is the villageschool and there are plenty of bars andrestaurants that serve healthy, local cuisine.This village is on the route of sun and avocados and is 37 kilometres from Málagaat a height of 100 metres. Market day isWednesday from 9am until 2pm and is heldin the car park by the bridge and even underthe bridge itself! To get to Benamargosa, turn off the A-356 atBar El Cruce at Trapiche on to the MA-145,through Triana.

Property Of The MonthAS2795 Alhaurin El Grande 695,000€

Benamargosa By Sally Harrison

Delightful, south facing, 239m2, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, country property with hot and cold air

conditioning and fabulous views across the countryside to the distant Sierra Nevada mountains.

The 24,582m2 plot stretches down to the river and is suitable for keeping horses with lots of riding

tracks in the area. The property comprises fitted kitchen open plan to large lounge with cathedral

ceiling and open fire place, bedroom 1 with ensuite. Downstairs to study, bedroom 2 with fitted

wardrobes, Jack and Jill bathroom leading to bedroom 3, utility room, storage room and door to the

double garage. There is a 75,000 litre water deposit and also a well.

AS2622 335,000€ Torreblanca, Fuengirola

100m2 2 bed, 2 bath villa

plus studio apartment,

sea views, 665m2 plot

AS2894 279,000€

Caleta de Vélez

76m2 2 bed villa with

opportunity to extend,

sea views, 696m2 plot

AS2861 59,950€

Salar Granada

124m2 3 bed, 2 bath village

house with roof terrace with

great views

AS2883 595,000€

Coín

337m2 5 bed, 2 bath villa with

1-2 bed garden appt. garage,

orchard

AS2543 390,000€

Torre Del Mar

190m2 5 bed, 2 bath town

house right opposite the

beach with garage

AS2898 199,950€

Cártama

122m2 3 bed, 2 bath villa

with pool on 1,400m2 plot

with orchard

PROPERTY SPECIALISTS SINCE 2001

IF YOU HAVE PROPERTY TO SELL

CALL SALLY ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781


Sally HarrisonOwner / Agent

www.axarquiaproperties.com


Recipe Of The Month

Boozy Rabbit StewRecipe by Cristal

@ Costamar see main advert below

Ingredients 140g prunes50ml brandy50g soft brown sugar2 rabbits, jointedplain flour, for dusting1 tbsp vegetable oil3 rashers smokedstreaky bacon, slicedinto thin strips2 carrots, chopped1 onion, chopped2 celery sticks,chopped1 garlic clove, crushed2 thyme sprigs

1 bay leaf150ml red wine, the best you can afford250ml chicken stockchopped parsley and wild rice, to serve

Method1. Heat oven to 150C/130C fan/gas 2. Put the prunes in a bowl with the brandyand brown sugar, stir, then set aside to soak.3. Dust the rabbit in the flour. Heat the oil in alarge flameproof dish and brown the rabbit allover until golden – you may have to do this inbatches. Set the rabbit aside. 4. Add the bacon, vegetables, garlic andherbs to the dish and fry for 5 mins until starting to colour.5. Pour in the red wine and scrape all thegoodness off the bottom of the dish. Add thechicken stock and put the rabbit back in thedish with the boozy prunes, then cover andcook for 2 hrs, stirring occasionally, until therabbit is totally tender. 6. Serve scattered with parsley and wild riceon the side.

29


The life of an inventor is not an easy one.First you have to come up with a goodidea that solves a problem in a way that noone has thought of before, and then youneed to design and engineer your idea totake it from theory to reality.

The very nature of invention means that inventors are continuously pushing theboundaries of what’s possible. This drive todiscover the next Big Thing has been a boonto humanity and has given us inventions likethe steam engine, the automobile and thepersonal computer. It's the major reason whywe're still not huddled in caves fighting offwolves and cowering at the crack of thunder.But invention is a fickle mistress and hasproved to be a dangerous undertaking formany a would-be Edison. Things go wrong,inventions break or don't work as the designers intended, and sometimes inventorsare killed by the very ideas they brought tolife. We've compiled some of the sad but fascinating stories of four inventors who diedat the hand of their inventions. We will printone each month. Let their stories serve aslessons for those of us who dream big.

No 1. The Flying Car Henry Smolinski Henry Smolinski was a Northrop-trained engineer who left his job to start AdvancedVehicle Engineers, a company focused onbringing a flying car to market. In 1973, thecompany built its first two prototypes made byfusing the rear end of a Cessna Skymasterairplane with a Ford Pinto. The tail sectionwas designed to be attached and detachedfrom the car. Smolinski was set to begin production for the retail market the next year,but on Sept. 11, 1973, he went on a test flightwith pilot Harold Blake and was killed, alongwith Blake, when a wing strut detached fromthe car. TheNationalTransportationSafety Boardruled that badwelds were responsiblefor the crash.(And it did involve aPinto).

Inventors That Died At The Hands Of Their Invention


Profile

Name: Colin Andrew Firth

Birthday: 10th September, 1960

Age: 53

Sign: Virgo

Birthplace: Grayshott, Hampshire,England

Facts about Colin Firth - Thisshouldn't come as a surprise, butColin Firth was named as one of thefifty most beautiful people in 2001.

While Colin Firth played Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones Diary, he actually appeared inthe sequel of the book. The author actuallywrote Colin Firth into the book.

Colin Firth has actually played the part of Mr.Darcy on three different occasions. In fact, hewas Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, BridgetJones Diary, and Bridget Jones: The Edge ofReason.

Colin Firth's first child, Will, was born in 1990

to his previous girlfriend Meg Tilly. He later

married Livia Giuggioli and his second child

Luca was born in 2001. His third child, Mateo

was born in 2003.

While many women

may find the name Colin

sexy, the actor isn't too

crazy about his name.

In fact he had this to

say about his first

name, "Well it doesn't

exactly have a ring to it,

does it? It's more the

sort of name you'd give

to your goldfish for a

joke."

According to Colin Firth,

when he was first of-

fered the role of Darcy,

his brother

incredulously remarked,

"Darcy? But isn't he

supposed to be sexy?"

Although he usually gets along quite well with

other actors, he had a well-publicised verbal

feud with Rupert Everett, although the source

of this tension is not known.

Colin had a relationship with Jennifer Ehle,

whom he met while filming "Pride and

Prejudice" (1995)

He was a member of the Royal Shakespeare

Company (RSC) in Stratford Upon Avon,

England, during the early to mid 80s where

his stage credits include such works as

Hamlet and King Lear.

Colin has twice lost his screen wife to a

member of the Fiennes family - to Ralph in

The English Patient (1996) and to Joseph in

Shakespeare in Love (1998).

This month we lo

ok at a m

ale c of the

celeb world...

Colin Andrew Firth

Paparaz

zi


Golf EthicsWhat if you were playing in the Club Championship Tournament Finals and thematch was halved at the end of 17 holes. Youhad the honour and hit your ball a modest250yds to the middle of the fairway, leaving asimple six iron to the pin. Your opponent thenhits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods.Being the gentleman that you are, you helpyour opponent look for his ball. Just beforethe permitted five minute search period ends,your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your

second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'llconcede the match." You hit your ball, landingit on the green. You hear your opponet shout,"I found it!". The second sound you hear is aclick, the sound of a club striking a ball andthe ball comes sailing out of the woods andlands on the green, stopping no more than sixinches from the hole. Now here is the ethicaldilemma: Do you pull the cheating bastard’sball out of your pocket and confront him with itor do you keep your mouth shut?

39

Childrens’ view s on marriage and all thatother boring adult stuff...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? 1.You´ve got to find somebody who likes thesame stuff. Like, if you like sports, she shouldlike it that you like sports and she shouldkeep the chips and dips coming. Alan, age 10

2. No person really decides before they growup who they’re going to marry. God decides itall way before and you get to find out laterwho you’re stuck with.Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

1. 23 is the best age because you know theperson FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10

2. No age is good to get married at. You´vegot to be a fool to get married.Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN ASTRANGERTELL IF TWOPEOPLE AREMARRIED?1. You mighthave to guess,based onwhether theyseem to beyelling at thesame kids.Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?1. On the first date they just tell each otherlies and that usually gets them interestedenough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?1. When they’re rich. Pam, age 7

2. The law says that you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess withthat. Curt, age 7


Thoughts On Marriage From Children


Funny Pic :) What is the world coming to?!

Random JokePensioners fast minds..

Two businessmen in Cardiff were sitting downfor a break in their soon-to-be new shop...As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a fewshelves set up.One said to the other, "I bet any minute nowsome pensioner isgoing to walk by, puthis face to the win-dow, and ask whatwe're selling."No sooner were thewords out of hismouth when, sureenough, a curious oldwoman walked to thewindow, had a peek,and in a soft voice asked, "What are you sell-ing here?"One of the men replied sarcastically, "We'reselling a***-holes."Without skipping a beat, the old timer said,"Must be doing well...Only two left."

Pensioners -- don't mess with them!!!!!!

43

AS2903 Viñuela 495,000€Stunning, 219m2, 4 bedroom 2 bathroom villa on mainly flat 17,000m2 plot with amazingpanoramic lake views and mature gardens. The villa comprises entrance hall with storage, bedroom 4 with air conditioning and door to pool terrace, family bathroom with utility area, bedrooms 2 and 3 each with ceiling fans, fitted wardrobes and door to pool terrace, fully fittedkitchen with gas hob, granite worktops and door to pool terrace, large dining room with woodburner and 2 doors to the sun room, large lounge with wood burner and 2 doors to the pool terrace, bedroom 1 with fitted wardrobes, door to pool terrace and ensuite shower room. Extras include, hot and cold air conditioning, BBQ, rejas, persiana blinds, double glazing,10x5m pool, roof terrace with 360 degree views, ample parking and short dirt track entrance.This Villa is walking distance to the restaurants by the lake.

Call Sally on

626 038 851 / 952 436 781


ArgentinaPopulation – 40,000,000

Language – Spanish Located – South America

Capital City – Buenos AiresCurrency – Peso

Religion – CatholicMain Exports – Animal FeedLiteracy Rate – 87 per cent Life Expectancy – 74 years

GDP Per Capita – US $10,500Total Area – 2,780,400 km

Famous For – Tango and the highest

consumption of red meat in the world.

Infamous for – The economic collapse in

2001 and the hand of God in 1986.

Main Reasons to go there – From the

Pampas to Patagonia, the diversity of this

very big country is incredible.

Main Reason not to go there – Getting there

and travelling around is quite pricey even by

European standards.

Biggest Celebrity – Diego Maradona, who

else!

National Sports – Football, volleyball and

basketball.

Don’t mention – The Malvinas. Also knownas the Falkland Islands. A bit of a sorepoint in Anglo – Argentinean relations!


Countrie

s

Of The W

orld

48

Number eight in

the A-Z lis

t

is the la

rgest Spanish speaking

country in

the world

…

Clever or stupid...

In an office:Toilet out of order...please use floor below.

In a laundrette:Automatic washing machines: please removeall your clothes when the light goes out.

In a London department store:Bargain basement upstairs

In an office:would the person who took the step ladderyesterday please bring it back or further stepswill be taken.

In an office:After tea break staff should empty the teapotand stand upside down on the draining board.This one could be tricky!

Outside a second-hand shop:We exchange anything - bicycles, washingmachines, etc. Why not bring your wife alongand get a wonderful bargain?

Notice in health food shop window:Closed due to illness

Spotted in a safari park:Elephants please stay in your car.

Seen during a conference:For anyone who has children and doesn'tknow it, there is a day care on the 1st floor

Notice in a farmer's field:The farmer allows walkers to cross the fieldfor free, but the bull charges.

On a repair shop door:We can repair anything. (please knock hardon the door - the bell doesn't work).


Signs To Make You Smile :)

49

The average American/Canadian drinks about600 sodas a year.

It was once against the law to slam your cardoor in a city in Switzerland.

Elephants sleep only two hours a day.

Most mascaras have bat feces (poop) inthem.

Gelatin is made with ground up cow bones.

Average life span of a major league baseball:7 pitches.

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum isover 9000 yearsold.

In space, astronauts cannot cry properly, because there isno gravity, so thetears can't flowdown their faces.

The first country to use postcards was Austria.

There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S,than real ones.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth,but our nose and ears never stop growing.SCARY!

Urban birds have developed a short "rap"style of chirping different than their rural counterparts.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

They ar

e useles

s

but am

azing !


Useless F

acts

Internet

T.V

Installed


Firewood Is Not Only For Winter Use...Firewood Delivery Alhaurin elGrande supplies to the publicmany types of high qualitywoods for your home fire, barbecues or wood-firedovens. From bulk containers,trailer loads and by the bag.

Also available, value packs ofsawdust and wood shavings allfor the most competitive prices!

Antonio from Firewood Delivery is more thanhappy to supply you the best product for thejob such as Eucalyptus woods, Oak woodsand Olive woods that you may need this summer.

Adding to this Firewood Delivery Antonio alsooffers gardening services and land clearingoperations for conditioning your finca or overgrown gardens.

So give Antonio a call to prepare your landor garden for those beautiful long

summers nights, with the aroma of yourOlive wood barbecue smouldering and a

fine Rioja in hand, overlooking your newlylandscaped garden... heavenly!

See main advert below

SPECIAL OFFER - 3M3 (trailer load) ofOlive wood 15% OFF Until July 2014

51

by Juanita Banana of www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com

ARIES: March 21-April 20May is a challenging time for Arians butwith opportunity to reflect upon your new

sense of identity and an ability to view your-self as others see you. A time to shine and tolead and also to be graceful in sharing thespotlight

TAURUS: April 21-May 21Herculean tasks and chaos bring ex-haustion for Taureans this month caus-

ing you to retreat, become contemplative andto prefer not to interact with the world for thetime being. A time to reassess what is ofvalue

GEMINI: May 22-June 21Your style of living and ways of doingthings are more appropriate to a life that

no longer fits your circumstances. To learnthe real value of friendship and self-fulfillment,it`s time to cease attempting control of all thatsurrounds you. Freedom awaits if you canachieve this.

CANCER: June 22-July 22Nothing is straight forward for Canceri-ans this month but your courage, deter-

mination and inner strength, not oftenappreciated by others, assist you during thetransformative battles you encounter

LEO: July 23-August 23Your interests broaden this month asprior doubts are eliminated and a spiri-

tual anchor takes hold. A sense of peace canbe reached as you let go of past resentmentsand move into the present and future

VIRGO: August 24-September 22Your task this month is to cast yourthoughts, feelings and actions into a

matrix of universal love and become a vesselto carry the Light more efficiently. This is atest with sacrifices but the reward is to betruly awake

LIBRA: September 23 - October 22Your days of proudly being a loner willend as you feel less threatened and less

of a failure which was never, in reality, thecase. Laughter and love fill your heart as yourconsideration and sensibility towards othersgrows

SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21May is a time for Scorpio to come out ofhiding and enjoy the social affairs

they´ve recently declined. A good time too toorganise and plan any outstanding projects.You will be noticed and very much appreci-ated

SAGITTARIUS: November 22 - Decem-ber 21Be careful what you wish for because

your secret Aladdin´s Lamp is about to makeall your dreams come true. Just be aware thatyour great need to be popular can dissipateyour excellent creative energies

CAPRICORN: December 22 - January20Whether you seek them or reject them,

relationships are to the fore for Capricorn dur-ing May, particularly of the romantic nature.Whichever way you want them to go, its bestto get your head out of work mode and dealwith them

AQUARIUS: January 21 - February 19Always afraid of losing your freedom

Aquarius but do you remember why you seekit? Your wanderings produce scattered looseends and nervousness, which your family canbe relieved to know, with time will consolidateinto knowledge and understanding

PISCES: February 20 - March 20With carefully guarded secrets, it can bedifficult to know the real Piscean. You

enjoy testing the limits of other people´s val-ues, often standing on the threshold of ac-ceptance, but it´s time to come out and havesome fun

www.thesentinellamalaga.com


Horoscopes

52

...In our own random order!

Bus Times

Alhaurin de la Torre - 952 410 444

Alhaurin el Grande - 952 491 010

Benalmadena - 952 441 545

Coin - 952 453 587

Fuengirola - 952 471 000

Malaga - 952 327 950

Torremolinos - 952 380 600

Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sun-

days, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note,

the majority of banks will not accept bills to be

paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am..

Taxis

Alhaurin de la Torre 952 410 444

Alhaurin el Grande 952 491 010

Benalmadena 952 441 545

Coin 952 453 587

Fuengirola 952 471 000

Malaga 952 327 950

Torremolinos 952 380 600

Weekly Market days

Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola

Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de

la Miel, Rincon de la Victoria, Saydo Hotel Mol-

lina, La Cala de Mijas

Thursday - Alhaurin el Grande Freia ground,

Pizarra, Torremolinos Recinto Feria Ground.

Friday - Arroyo de La Miel, Cartama country

Farmers market, Cartama Feria Ground, Mijas

Costa, Rincon de la Victoria

Saturday - Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas,

Ojen, Caratracca car boot.

Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Esta-

cion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to

Football Stadium, Pizarra car boot, Torremoli-

nos by crocodile park.

Shops

10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally)

The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the

weekly markets are only open mornings.

Cinemas - Showing English Films

Coin - La Trocha 951 315 039

Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221

Intenational Dialing Codes

Uk 0044

Gibraltar 00350

USA/Canada 001

Ireland 000353

Health Centres

Alhaurin de la Torre 952 410 426

Alharin el Grande 952 595 000

Alora 952 498 100


Cartama 952 424 042

Central Health Service 955 018 000

Coin 952 453 336

Fuengirola (Los Boliches) 952 460 036

Fuengirola (west) 952 468 835

Health 24 Hr Response 902 505 060

Mijas (La Cala) 952 492 150

Mijas (Las Lagunas) 951 062 247


Water Supplies

Malaga: 952 135 013

Local Police : 092Guardia : 062

Fire : 080



Information54

Tourist Information

Coin 952 822 818


Consulates

UK

Opposite the main bus station

Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur

C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga

902 109 256 or 913 342 194

Ireland

Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola

952 475 108

Netherlands/Dutch

Avda, Palma de Mallorca, 57

Edif. Castillo San Louis, bajo 29620 Torremoli-

nos

952 380 888

Germany

C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga

952 363 591

Sweden

952 604 383

France

952 226 590 / 952 214 888

Belgium

952 559 159

Denmark

952 211 797

Luxembourg

952 857 197

Telefonica

Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For gen-

eral enquiries dial 1004

Airports

Malaga 24-hour information

952 048 484

Arrivals T2/3 952 048 844

Arrivals T1 952 048 845

Departures 952 048 804

Airlines

www.easyjet.com

www.ryanair.com

www.thompsonfly.com

www.flymonarch.com

www.flybe.com

www.bmibaby.com

Railway Stations

Malaga 952 360 202

Granada 958 271 272

A1 Andalus Service952 537 227

Coastal Service 952 360 202

RENFE Tickets 902 240 202

Town Halls

Alora 952 496 100


Campanillos 952 722 168

Coin 952 453 018

La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208


Malaga 952 135 000

Rincon 952 402 300


Hospitals

Carlos Haya 951 030 100

Civil Hospital 951 030 300

Maternity Hospital 951 030 200

Costa del Sol Hospital 952 102 112

Hospital Clinico University 952 649 400

Ambulance : 061Water : 952 540 662

Electricity : 952 540 662


Information



Jokes ha ha :)

Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornishdairy farmer.One morning, on his way out to check on thecows, farmer John says to Carol, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove anail into the rail above the cow's stall in thebarn. You show him where the cow is whenhe gets here, OK?'So then the farmer leaves for the fields. Aftera while, the insemination man arrives andknocks on the front door.Carol takes him down to the barn. They walkalong the row of cows and when she sees thenail, she tells him, 'This is the one...righthere.'Terribly impressed by what he seemed tothink just might be another ditzy blonde, theman asks,'Tell me lady, how did you know this is thecow to be bred?''That's simple; by the nail over its stall', Carolexplains very confidently.Then the man asks, 'What's the nail for?'She turns and starts to walk away and withcomplete confidence, says over her shoulder,'I assume it's to hang your trousers on.'------------------------------------------------------------A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs intheir bedroom.'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I thinkit's about time we started swearing.'The 4 year old nods his head in approval, sothe 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairsfor breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then youswear after me, ok?''Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm..The mother walks into the kitchen and asksthe 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.'Oh, s*** mum, I don't know, I suppose I'llhave some Coco Pops'WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbledacross the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.She looked at the 4 year old and asked with astern voice, ' And what do YOU want forbreakfast, young man?''I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't bef****** Coco Pops'.

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the localchemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarmwent out to all the fire departments for milesaround.When the volunteer fire fighters appeared onthe scene, the chemical company presidentrushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centreof the plant. They must be saved. I will give$50,000 to the fire department that bringsthem out intact."But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.Soon more fire departments had to be calledin as the situation became desperate. As thefiremen arrived, the president shouted outthat the offer was now $100,000 to the firedepartment who could bring out the company's secret files.From the distance, a lone siren was heard asanother fire truck came into sight. It was thenearby Norwegian rural township volunteerfire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-downfire engine roared right past all the newersleek engines that were parked outside theplant.Without even slowing down it drove straightinto the middle of the inferno. Outside, theother firemen watched as the Norwegian oldtimers jumped off right in the middle of the firefought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before.Within a short time, the Norske old timers hadextinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for sucha superhuman feat he was upping the rewardto $200,000, and walked over to personallythank each of the brave fire fighters.The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief,"What are you going to do with all thatmoney?""Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old firechief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix dabrakes on dat Bloody truck!"



Jokes ha ha :)

57


My wife hosted a dinner party for family farand wide and everyone was encouraged tobring all their children as well. All during dinner my four-year-old niece stared at mesitting across from her. The girl could hardlyeat her food for staring. I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face forfood, patted my hair in place but nothingstopped her from staring at me. I tried mybest to just ignore her but finally it was toomuch for me. I finally asked her "Why are youstaring at me?" Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour and the table went quiet for her response. My little niece said "I'm just waitingto see how you drink like a fish."------------------------------------------------------------During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse andblood pressure are all fine. Now let me seethe bit that gets you ladies into all kinds oftrouble."The lady starts taking off her underwear but isinterrupted by the doctor."No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Juststick out your tongue!" ------------------------------------------------------------The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want apay increase?”Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasonswhy I wanna increaze.The first is that I iron better than you.”Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”Wife: “Oh yeah?”Maria: “The second reason eez that I am abetter cook than you.”Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a bettercook than me?”Maria: “Jor hozban did.”Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, didhe?”Maria: “The third reason is that I am better atsex than you in the bed.”Wife, really boiling now and through grittedteeth asks, “And did my husband say that as

well?”Maria: “No Señora… The gardener did.”Wife: “So how much do you want?”------------------------------------------------------------An old man lay sprawled across three entireseats in the movie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, hewhispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, butyou're only allowed one seat."The old man just groaned but didn't budge.The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if youdon't get up from there I'm going to have tocall the manager."Once again, the old man just groaned.The usher marched briskly back up the aisle,and in a moment he returned with the manager.Together the two of them tried repeatedly tomove the old dishevelled man, but with nosuccess.Finally they summoned the police.The officer surveyed the situation briefly thenasked, "All right buddy what's your name?""Fred," the old man moaned."Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.With pain in his voice Fred replied; "The balcony."------------------------------------------------------------Police cordoned off Liverpool City Centre thismorning when a suspicious object was discovered in a car. It later turned out to be atax disc.------------------------------------------------------------Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gateswhen forty scousers showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool atheaven's door, Saint Peter said he wouldhave to check with God. After hearing thenews, God instructed him to admit the tenmost virtuous from the group. A few minuteslater, Saint Peter returned to God breathlessand said,"They're gone.""What? All of the Scousers are gone?" askedGod."No" replied Saint Peter "The Pearly Gates!"

Quiz

Sudokus

Hey Diddle Riddle

Easy Tough


Puzzle Pages

58

Answers on page 62

1. Where would you find a Northing?

2. What is a Medlar?

3. Cinnabar is the main or of which metal?

4. What is a male ferret called?

5. A Colotatura is a type of which singing voice?

6. What is a hunter’s Bond a type of?

7. What in the Bible is the Decalogue?

8. What does a nyctophobiac fear?

9. For what is Spondulix a slang term for?

10. In which country did tarot cards originate?

11. Which type of weapon is a Poniard?

12. Who solved the riddle of the sphinx?

1) Isaac and Albert were excitedly describingthe result of the Third Annual International Sci-ence Fair Extravaganza in Sweden. There werethree contestants, Louis, Rene, and Johannes.Isaac reported that Louis won the fair, whileRene came in second. Albert, on the otherhand, reported that Johannes won the fair whileLouis came in second. In fact, neither Isaac norAlbert had given a correct report of the resultsof the science fair. Each of them had given onecorrect statement and one false statement.What was the actual placing of the three con-testants?

2) If you put a coin in an empty bottle and inserta cork into the neck of the bottle, how could youremove the coin without taking the cork out orbreaking the bottle?

3) I can be cracked, I can be made.I can be told, I can be played.What am I?

4) I am the beginning of the end, and the endof time and space. I am essential to creation,and I surround every place. What am I?


Puzzle PagesCrossword

Across1 Ferromagnetic metal — shade of blue (6)

4 Wrote 8 — made marks on the surface (6)

8 Very pleasant sound (5)

9 Organic substance essential to life (7)

10 Revolutionary symbol and song to the tune

of Tannenbaum (3,4)

11 Adjust again (5)

12 Means of carrying the wounded (9)

17 The highest Ben (5)

19 Traditional nomadic hunter gatherers of

southern Africa (7)

21 Daydream (7)

22 Hindu holy man (5)

23 Organ filtering waste with water from blood (6)

24 Manure heap (6)

Down

2 Additionally (7)

3 Belonging to the area (5)

5 Inflammation of the nose and throat (7)

6 Uncle character in US folk stories (5)

7 Signify (6)

9 Plant, especially if edible (9)

13 Keep for someone — spare bod (7)

14 Heist starting with crash intoshop window (3,4)

15 Garment (worn by boring obsessive?) (6)

16 Flag — junior American naval officer (6)

18 Graphic (5)

20 Japanese rice and raw fish dish (5)

The Top Ten Least Fattening Foods...

1. Celery

2. Rhubarb

3. Chicory

4. Globe Artichoke

5. Oyster Mushrooms

6. Marrow

7. Cucumber

8. Beansprouts

9. Fennel

10. Swede

The Top Ten Most Fattening Foods...

1. Cooking Oils / Fats

2. Butter / Margarine

3. Hollandaise Sauce

4. Mayonnaise

5. Creamed Coconut

6. French Dressing

7. Nuts

8. Peanut Butter

9. Tahini Paste

10. Pork Scratchings

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2, 1,


Last Month’s Crossword Answers

Get Quizical Answers1. On a map (Grid line), 2. Small tree, 3. Mercury, 4. Hob, 5. Soprano, 6. A knot, 7. 10 commandments, 8. The dark, 9. Money, 10. Italy, 11. Dagger, 12. Oedipus.

Riddle Diddle Answers

1. A: Johannes won; Rene came in second; Louis came in third,

2. Push the cork into the bottle and shake the coin out,

3. A joke,

4. The letter E

Find The Tiger Answer April -

Top Tens

What’s on this month in your area thismonth?

May Events at POGS (The Old Irish RockPub) Calle Lamo de Espinosa, Fuengirola. 662 594 111 May - we are closedfrom 30th April till 7th May7th May we reopen with jazz jam session22.30 and every Weds after thatEvery Thurs jam session with Mita i Mita22.30hrsEvery Sunday celtic fusion band 20hrsFri 9th Miss Gin Britpop Band 23.30Sat 10th Jackie Brown Soul Band 23.30Fri 16th Miss B (over from Sorway on tour,rock and blues)Sat 17th Lazy Sundays (Indie Rock Pop)Fri 23rd Bud Spencer Band (Country Rock)Sat 24th The Soaks (Rock/Pop)Fri 30th Super Grooves (Soul and Funk)Sat 31st Stereo 80s (80 Rock and Pop)

Every Friday and Saturday at The OliveTree Bar and Restaurant in Coin “MonsterKaraoke” and Sunday’s “Franke B” CalleMaria Zambrano, 952 452 554

Bar Majesty C/independencia 19 FuengirolaDarts Tournament Every Sunday Quiz NightsEvery Thursday 686 789 843

Royal Ascot Ladies Day at the TamisaThursday 19th June. Tickets 35€p/p includeswelcome Cava, all day buffet, all races covered, live entertainment all day. 1st race3.15pm. For more information please call:952 585 988 [email protected]

Every Monday 11am - 1pm Age Care DropIn... where people can chat and share experiences and find out about living in Spainat La Iglesia Bar, nr Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa

Every Tuesday Age Care coffee morning inthe cafe in Supersol, El Zoco, Calahonda.

Come along and chat, share experiences andfind out about living in Spain. Call: 952 933409

Every Wednesday The Malaga Picasso Mu-seum is offereing free guided tours in Englishwhich is included in the price of admission.Starts 11.30am.

Market DaysMonday - Marbella, Torrox, Alora & Rivieradel Sol Tuesday - Fuengirola, Marbella, Benihavis,Algeciras & Tarifa Wednesday - Arroyo (flea market in palomapark) La Cala & Alhaurin de la Torre Thursday - Torremolinos, Alhaurin el Grande,& San Pedro Friday - Arroyo, Tivoli & Paloma Park, MijasCosta & Marbella Saturday - Puerto Banus, Mijas Costa, Coin,Istan, Estepona,Ojen Pueblo, & FuengirolaFlea Market Sunday - Fuengirola(nr Mosque), Torremolinos Flea Market, La Trocha BootFair, Coin, Estepona, San Roque & Sotogrande, Mijas Hipodromo Boot Fair, Calypso Calahonda.

Many markets take place on the local feriagrounds. If there is a Feria, the market will beclosed!


What’s On?

If you would like an event

listed in your area

please contact us by the 15th

of the month.

Email:

[email protected]

AIR CONDITIONINGAIR CONDITIONING

BARS & RESTARURANTSBARS & RESTARURANTS

wFor Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119007, Torre del Mar

wThe Mad Monk, All sports shown, large partiescatered for. La Carihuela Torremolinos, behind HotelCabello. Sat nights Quiz and bingo. Tel: 693 478 275Email: [email protected]

DENTISTSDENTISTSwAlhaurin Dental Centre World class dental care, li-censed, insured and provides high quality, word classdental care to the whole family since 2001. Call: 654 996 026

wLazy Days Enjoy a relaxing drink or snacks at LazyDays, WIFI available. Salvador Allende 50 Le - 12, 4,Torremolinos Call: 656 358 368

wCristal @ Costamar Full International A La CarteMenu available including a selection of delicioussteaks & fish dishes. Call: 952 564 947

BEDSBEDS

wThe Bed Warehouse New larger showroom, topquality British Beds and mattresses at unbeatableprices. Call: 600 633 986 / 634 187 700www.bedwarehousespain.com [email protected]

wThe Peacock Sunday Roasts & Prime Steaks, Spe-cial Meat Feast. Call: 677 443 461

wSuave Restaurant where it all comes together.www.suavecafe.com Call: 952 661 985

wFestival Cafe Cafeteria, Internet, Gelateria, EnglishBreakfasts, hamburgers, pizza and pasta. La Trocha,Coin. Call: 951 315 206

wBoat Trips - Caleta Cruise Club (Torre del Mar) Tel: 650 193 777 www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com/attractions/ccc.htm

CONSTRUCTIONCONSTRUCTIONwSp Installation high quality construction & reformCompany. Kitchens, bathrooms and all kind of con-structions Call:654 010 903

CAR HIRECAR HIREwLow Cost Car Hire - Car hire at competitive prices,free delivery & collection, airport collection & return.Daily, weekly & monthly rates. Long term from just50€ per week. No credit card req. Call: 951 088 780 /622 122 000 www.countrycarhire.info

CATERINGCATERING

wHog Roast and Event Catering for all special oc-casions. Hog Roasts and BBQ’s to make a memo-rable occasion. From children to adults. We cater forall. Call: 647 245 450 www.hogroastmarbella.com

CHIMNEY CARECHIMNEY CAREwChimney Care Costa del Sol professional chimneyservice, all areas covered. Call: 607 441 959 / 654184 242

CAKE SHOPSCAKE SHOPS

wCake shop, We specialise in cupcakes, popcakes,personalised cakes, biscuits etc... To book a partycall: 664 643 521 Facebook: : Bon Appétit-cupcake


wBMC Business Management Consulting Tax & ac-counts, Business & financial advice, car transfers &translations. Arroyo de la Miel, Benalmadena. Tel: 952386 294 Mob: 628 266 742 Email: [email protected]

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

BOAT TRIPSBOAT TRIPS

BEAUTY SALONSBEAUTY SALONSwSudi Salon Specialising in Threading. Call: 952 381504 Arroyo de la Miel

Call 696 116 552 to book your listing


A-Z Directory A-Z Directory

FURNITUREFURNITUREwFurniture Land Quality Secondhand Furniture withbargain low prices. Alhaurin el GrandeTel: 633 666 098 www.furniture-land.webs.com

GARDENSGARDENSwLa Concepcion Historical and Botanical GardensCall: 952 252 148

wPalm Beach Club Holiday apartments & Studios.Special long let prices. Call: 952 370339

wAztec Hair Academy For a career in hairdressing.Call: 657 441 740 C.C. Calahonda, Los Jarales Local14, Mijas Costa. Next to Mercadona

HOLIDAY APARTMENTSHOLIDAY APARTMENTS

HAIR & BEAUTYHAIR & BEAUTY

wMoneycorp for all your financial needs. Call: 952587 657 moneycorp.com/spain

FINANCIALFINANCIAL

wDreamtime Properties Call:952 384 046 www.dreamtimeproperties.com [email protected]

wAxarquia Properties S.L Call: 626 038 851 or 952436 781 www.axarquiaproperties.comEmail: [email protected]

ENTERTAINMENTENTERTAINMENT

wIPTV with up to date TV service. set top boxes with14 day catch up. Call: 951 390 567

wHotel Tamisa Golf The jewel of Mijas Call: 952 858988 [email protected]

wX Pat Planet Free UK Channels, no monthly feesCall: 952 22 33 44 / 605 193 609

INTERNET TVINTERNET TV

HOTELSHOTELS

ENGINEERING/SYSTEMSENGINEERING/SYSTEMSwKiano All types of machining, engineering and de-velopment. Call: 638 735 747

wRobbie Stevenson vocalist and all round enter-tainer. Songs through the decades, special Scottishevenings, affordable entertainment. Call: 952 053 067 / 664 342 [email protected]

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATEESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE

wMuebles Del Mundo - Coín (Furniture of the world)Furniture & Decorarions from around the world. Madefrom high quality woods and materials Tel: 952450156/690882898 Coín Facebook: muebles del mundo

FURNITURE & DECORATIONFURNITURE & DECORATION

GARDENINGGARDENING

wMaintenance of Gardens and Swimming PoolsEnglish, German and Spanish speaking, 27 years old.Call: David: 656 775 928

wRich Shine Homecare Total care for your home!Home & Window cleaning, Gardens a & pools.Environmental friendly products. For a professional& reliable service contact us! 634 436 532 Email: [email protected] website richshinehomecare.com

HOME SERVICESHOME SERVICES

wSpikes Hair & Beauty Chiropody and special wed-ding packages. Call:952935297 C.C. Calahonda, LosJarales, Local 14, Mijas Costa. Next to Mercadona

INSURANCEINSURANCEwInsurance Essential Cover SL provide all types ofinsurance for your personal and business needs -Over 15 years’ experience in UK and Spain. CallGaynor on 951 390 700Email: [email protected] or visit our website: www.essential-cover.com

wEverything for your home or rental property.Beds, bed linen, towels , curtains, cushions, decora-tion, kitchenware – helpful, highly trained staff. Closeto Miramar shopping centre –Mijas costa. www.yorkshirelinen.es Call: 952 197 577

HOME FURNISHING & BEDSHOME FURNISHING & BEDS

wNeoGlass Glass Curtains and Roofs. Call for quo-tation or visit our showroom Calle Rio BenamargosaNo. 7, Opp. the BP Gargae on Camino de Coin, MijasCosta. Call: 951 775 214 www.neoglass.es

wWhite Design Company Tailor-made furniturepackages without compromising on quality. Alsomakeover solutions and refurbishments available. Tel:952 494 155 / 600 583 673 www.whitedesignco.com/ [email protected]

GLASS CURTAINSGLASS CURTAINSwRDMC’S Glass manufacturers S.L, glass curtain &stainless steel specialists. Tel: 952 477 963

wService-Center Calypso Your perfect place for alltypes of Insurance. We collaborate with the biggestcompanies to provide you with the best quote. Call952 939 068


ELECTRICIANSELECTRICIANSwAll types of electrical & wiring work undertaken.Renovations and Installations inc CCTV ElectronicDoors and Antennas. For English enquiries call 69611 65 52 Para Español 653 08 44 48


A-Z DirectoryA-Z Directory

REMOVALSREMOVALSwRoy Trevor Removals The professional worldwidemovers, weekly services between UK, Spain & Por-tugal. Call: 951 311 118 Mijas Costa

POOL TABLES/VENDING MACH.POOL TABLES/VENDING MACH.

wProfit share - No outlay required: Pool Tables, Mini-Vending, Boxing Machines, Football Tables, JukeBoxes also New / Secondhand Domestic Pool Tables& Accessories. 629 530 233 www.superpoolspain.com

SECURITYSECURITY

wPERFECT Alarm S.L. High quality security sys-tems, video surveillance, alarm systems, perimetricprotection, home automation. Worldwide surveillanceof your property. We speak English and German. CallMr. Martin: 608 517 661

SATELLITE SYSTEMSSATELLITE SYSTEMS

wTechnovision Call: 952 520 946 / 657 066 782Email: [email protected] www.techno-vision.es

PROPERTY RENTALSPROPERTY RENTALSwOwners - Thinking of renting out your property?Clients - Looking for long term, lengthy or holidayrentals? Contact www.solfinders.com or phone 952930 459

wAlcantara Property Investments SL Qualifiedagent. Legal advice. Paperwork. Long established atCalahonda, El Zoco Commercial Centre, L32, MijasCosta. www.alcantara.net [email protected] 931 221

REAL ESTATEREAL ESTATE

ROOFING & GUTTERINGROOFING & GUTTERINGwAll Types of Roofing & Guttering work under-taken in all aspects of the job. For a no obligationquote please call: 607 441 959 / 654 184 424

wFetajo Rent A Car Your quality local company in theCosta del Sol -Free delivery & collection at MálagaAirport without any queue or Courtesy Minibus andwe don´t charge for fuel -Bookings on: 952 939 738or 952 934 412 - www.fetajorentacar.com

RENT A CARRENT A CAR

PLANT HIREPLANT HIRE

wWebb & Sons Plant Hire Suppliers of river stone,sand, gravel, turf & top soil. Call: 649 526 922 / 647880 816 based near Alhaurin el Grande

POOL SHOPSPOOL SHOPS

wSplash Swimming Pool S.L The biggest pool shopin Mijas. Pool maintenance, pool analysis, special of-fers always available. Call: 952 591 053 [email protected]

LAWYERSLAWYERS

wMentor Abogados Lawyers and Chartered Ac-countants. Boulevard de La Cala, Local B15 La Calade Mijas. Call: 952 494 143 / Fax: 952 599 228 www.mentorabogados.com Offices in Mijas andMarbella

wDe Cotta Law Spanish and English Lawyers, spe-cialising in Business Law, Debt Recovery, CompanyStart-Ups and more. Multilingual. Mijas Costa/Cala-honda. Tel: 952 931 781 [email protected]

wAnna’s Laundry - Service Wash, Dried & Folded,Ironing Service, Dry Cleaning Service. Down theramp in Plaza Ibensa Benalmadena Mon - Fri 09.30-16.30 no siesta. Tel: 952 560 914 www.annaslaundry.com

LAUNDERETTESLAUNDERETTES

wNancy’s Laundry Collection and delivery service.Dry cleaning, washing, ironing, rugs, duvets, curtains,sun blinds stc.. Bonanza 70, between lloyds & PiscisApts. Call: 952 561 726

LOCKSMITHLOCKSMITH

wEmergency/Appointment. Doors opened withoutdestruction, Locks changed, Patio Doors & WindowsSecured, 24 hour service Call Paul 657 466 803

MECHANICSMECHANICSwChili Motors General Mechanic Pre ITV and diag-nostics. Call: 671 342 512 Monday - Saturday 9-7pm.

PAPERSHOPSPAPERSHOPSwPapeleria Cristina Large selection of cards, news-papers, magazines and stationary. Offex postal serv-ice, PO boxes, internet & mobile top ups. Tel/Fax:952 594 108 Email: [email protected]

PAINTERSPAINTERS

wRainbow Pinturas English, professional, reliablepainting & decorating company. Free quotations, cov-ering all areas. All sized works undertaken. Daniel628 066 308 www.rainbowpinturas.com

wShaggys music bar Fuengirola. Live music everyThurs/Fri/Sat. Facebook fuengirolanightlifemusicbarshaggys

LIVE ENTERTAINMENTLIVE ENTERTAINMENT

wPOGS The Old Irish rock pub, live music 5 nights aweek. Facebook Pogs Fuengirola C/ Lamo de Es-plnosa, Fuengirola.


TELEVISION REPAIRSTELEVISION REPAIRS WINDOW TINTINGWINDOW TINTING

wMobile Service ITV legal Solar reflective tint forglass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heatglare, save money on cooling, make living in the suncomfortable. 958 496 571 / 644 546 [email protected]

wTelevision Repairs Specialists in Plasma, LCD,LED TV’s, can collect. Call: John 600 706 201

WEB SITESWEB SITES

wSpanglish Webs Multilingual Web Designs Data-base Programmes, Search Engine Optimization,CMS, Hosting and Domains. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 691 660 187 www.spanglishwebs.comEmail: [email protected]

w Wedding Wheels Andalucia - Tel: 650 193 777 Webpage:www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com/services/wedding_car.html.

WEDDING CARSWEDDING CARS

wSolutions For All Your PC & Television Repairs Office based in Calahonda next to Mercadona Call:952 933 847 / 666 127 990 www.pctvsolutions.es

SWIMMING POOLSSWIMMING POOLSwLEAK-TEC specialist pool leak detection company.Please visit our website www.leak-tec.com for moreinformation, or call Calvin on 666 659 876 (part ofAxarquia Pools)

TO ADVERTISE YOUR

BUSINESS IN OUR

A-Z DIRECTORY CALL: 696 116 552

[email protected]


A-Z Directory A-Z Directory

w Sign D Sign, Specailising in, Shop signs, Windowsigns, Vehicle signs, A boards and large format print-ing, Tel 603 464 582 or 952 930 547 [email protected] / www.signdsign1.com.

SIGNSSIGNS

THE COAST’S LEADING COMMERCIAL AGENT

Tel: 952 473 108 Mobile: 654 170 978


www.fiestaproperty.com

REF: SREB0071 €15,000Located in the heart of the area

seconds from the beach. Traditional in style.

BRITISH PUB BENALMADENA

REF: SREF0045 €15,950Located near the market.

Snacks Bar with main road location. Exceptional quality.

LOCAL´S BAR LOS BOLICHES

REF: SREM0011 €19,000Fully licensed and ideal for day

or half day trips such as fishing, dolphin or leisure.

BOAT CHARTER MARBELLA

To Feature

Your Business

Here

Call Jane on:

(0034)

685 497 915

REF: M11407 €28,00024,700m2 land complete with 9

boxes and a further 20 avail plus recreation area.

EQUESTRIAN CENTREMARBELLA AREA

REF: ODT14177 €29,000Irish style pub with restaurantlicense, professional kitchen

and fully licensed. TRADITIONAL IRISH PUB

PLAYAMAR

REF: SREF0047 €22,950A traditional style bar withample inside and outside

seating. Direct from owner.FRONT LINE CAFE BAR

FUENGIROLA

REF: SREB0053 €64,950Health Club situated within a

hotel of 200 rooms. Everythingis in place and ready. GYMNASIUM & SPA

BENALAMDENA

REF: F11160 €70,000Cheap Cheap Freehold

business available with CafeBar license-central location

FREEHOLD CAFE BARFUENGIROLA

Documents

The Sentinella Malaga May 2014