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The rights of a husband and wife

Question: What are the rights of a man on his wife?ANSWERA man, too, has many rights on his wife. A woman should get on well with her husband. It is declared in a hadth-i sharf:

(The jihd [holy war] of a woman is to get on well with her husband.) [Tabarn]

A woman used to welcome her husband and try to attain the contentment of him bysaying beautiful words. Because of this behavior of hers, our Master the Prophetdeclared to her husband:(Tell your wife, she has acquired half the blessings of a martyr!) [Shira]

It is easier for women to enter Paradise compared to men. A hadth-i sharf purports:(If a woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts, protects herself from the n-mahram [not one of the eighteen men whom the Sharat has prescribed as a womans closerelatives] and obeys her husband, she enters Paradise.) [Ibni Hibbn]

There is no fear for a woman who has attained the consent of her husband. Two hadth-i sharfs purport:(A woman who dies with she having attained the consent of her husband enters Paradise.) [Tirmudh]

(If a woman shows love for her husband, bears child and does not sleep until shereconciles her husband when she gets angry or when her husband gets angry withher, she is for Paradise.) [Tabarn]

Jewelry is permissible for women. A woman should not put her husband into a difficult situation for buying jewelry and must not show her jewelry to the n-mahram[not one of the eighteen men whom the Sharat has prescribed as a womans close relatives]! If women observe these, their jewelry does not prevent them from enteringParadise. A hadth-i sharf purports:(I saw that women were few in number in Paradise. I asked for the reason. They said: Gold and jewelry kept them busy.) [I. Ahmad]

She should be cheerful towards her husband, show her love and should not hurt him with her tongue. It is declared in a hadth-i sharf:(On Doomsday, Allahu tal makes the tongue of a woman who tortures her husband withher tongue 70 arshins long [an arshin is half a meter] and wraps it around her neck. In addition, He puts a woman who gives bad looks to her husband in such a situation that her head is cut off and her body is cut into pieces.) [Shira]

She should not be ungrateful to her husband by saying (You didnt give me anything!) Two hadth-i sharfs purport:(If they were not ungrateful to their husbands, those who performed namz [ritualprayer] would immediately enter Paradise.) [Shira]

(I saw that women constituted the majority of the dwellers of Hell. The reason i

s that they curse frequently and are ungrateful to their husbands.) [Bukhr]

If she did a favor for her husband, she should not taunt him with that. She should not hurt her husband for such things as food and dressing and should not demand from him what he cannot afford! She should keep her husbands glory, try to attain his consent and try to please him in every deed! It is purported in a hadth-isharf:(The rights of a man on his wife are just like my rights on you. Therefore, shewho does not observe the rights of her husband will have failed to observe the rights of Allahu tal.) [Shira]

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A woman should not hurt her husband.(One day, Hadrat Ftima came crying before her father. Raslullah [the Messenger ofAllah] declared:- O Ftima, why are you crying?- Al got angry with me because of a word of mine which I said unintentionally. Iapologized to him but I am crying since I hurt him.- O my daughter, dont you know, the consent of Allahu tal is conditioned on the conent of husband. How lucky for a woman who always seeks the consent of her husband and with whom her husband is contented. The most superior act of worship for awoman is to obey her husband. When a man is contented with his wife, that womanearns the right to enter Paradise from any door she wants. A woman who hurts her husband will be under the curse of Allahu tal until she makes him contented.) [R.Nsihn]

Observing the rights of her husband causes a woman to earn thawbs [blessings] asif she made jihd [holy war]. It is declared in hadth-i sharfs:(Observing the rights of husband is just like making jihd in the way of Allah.) [Tabarn]

(A woman cannot perform supererogatory fast without her husbands permission. If she does so, she will have remained hungry and thirsty; she cannot earn any thawb.She cannot get out from home without her husbands permission. If she does so, the angels in the sky curse her until she comes back home.) [Tabarn]

(If a man calls his wife for his need, let her answer his need immediately, evenif she is around a tandoor!) [Tirmudh]

(If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels will curse her till morning.) [Bukhr]

(Without her husbands permission, a woman cannot spend her own property, either.)[Tabarn]

(If a woman gets out from home without permission, everything on which the sun and the moon rise curses her until her husband is contented.) [Daylam]

(A woman cannot let anyone [including her mother, father and siblings] in the house and cannot perform supererogatory prayers without her husbands permission.) [Tabarn]

(Prevent your wives from ornamenting themselves! The women of Ban Isrl [sons of Israel] were cursed because they ornamented themselves and walked to the masjid [the place where they worshipped] arrogantly.) [Ibn-i Mja]

(Namzes [ritual prayers] and any good deeds of a woman will be unacceptable untilher husband is contented.) [Tabarn]

The spouses should get on well with each other and try to attain each others consent.

Rights of wifeQuestion: What is the way to get on well with our wives?ANSWERHe who wants his wife to have beautiful morals should himself have beautiful morals first! In the Qurn al-karm, it is declared that calamities striking people arecaused by their sins. Thus, he who observes the commandments and prohibitions ofour religion gets on well with his wife.

Hadrat Fudayl bin Iyd declares:

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By means of my wifes bad temper, I used to understand if I made something religiously inappropriate. If I made repentance for that thing immediately, the bad temper of my wife would disappear as well. This way, I would realize that my repentance was accepted.

Hadrat Aliyy-ul-Havs wife had been cross with him. His wife would use a separate cruse and a separate cup in order to oppose her husband. One day, because Hadrat Aliyy-ul-Havs had mistakenly drunk water from his wifes cruse, she immediately brokethe cruse. Hadrat did not even say Why did you break the cruse? and he behaved asif nothing had happened.

Nraddn Shn Effendi, the neighbor of Hadrat Uthmn al-Khattb, tells: One night, I t and saw a person covered with an old straw mat sleeping and said to him Who areyou? Why are you sleeping here? He said: O my neighbor, I am Uthmn al-Khattb. I wout to the street because my sons mother expelled me from the house and I decided to sleep here until she calms down.

Bad-tempered wifeHadrat Ibn-i Ab-il-Hamyil-i Sawrs wife was bad-tempered. She used to rail and not give him a break. On the other hand, that pious person would always be patient. Again one day, he escaped from the bad temper of his wife by flying. His wife looked from behind and said Look at him, he thinks he will be saved from me by flying. Since it is not possible for people like us to fly, we should try to stay awayfrom any disputes and quarrels. We should not make an attempt to prove that we

are right!

It is declared in hadth-i sharfs:(Let not any Mumin [Believer] get angry with his wife! If she has bad habits, shealso has good habits.) [Muslim]

(Woman is weak. Defeat her weakness by keeping silent! Try not to see her faultsat home!) [Ibn-i Ll]

(The most superior of Muslims in terms of mn [belief] is he who has the most beautiful morals, who treats his wife in the best, in the most gracious way.) [Tirmudh]

(The best, the most beneficial of Muslims is he who is the best, the most beneficial towards his wife. Among you, I am the one who is the best, the most auspicious, the most beneficial towards his wife.) [Nasa]

(The salts [ritual prayers] and fasts of those who do not observe the rights of their wives and children will not be acceptable.) [Murshid-un-nis]

(Namzes [ritual prayers] and any good deeds of a woman will be unacceptable untilher husband is contented.) [Tabarn]

Namzes will be unacceptable means that she will get clear of debt but will not earnthe great thawbs to be gained by performing namz. It does not mean that her namz will be wasted. If a womans husband is not contented with her, she will enter Para

dise after suffering the punishment of her sin. Only kfirs [disbelievers] cannotenter Paradise. Muslims will enter Paradise in the end even if they have many sins. It is purported in the Qurn al-karm:(Good women obey Allah and observe the rights of their husbands. When their husbands are absent, they guard their honor and property with the help of Allah.) [Srat-un-Nis 34]

When a man comes home, he should greet his wife, ask how she is and share her sadness and happiness because she is the one who is hopeless of others, his friendaccustomed to him, the fellow sufferer, who makes him happy, raises his childre

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n and satisfies his needs. It is declared in hadth-i sharfs:(On Doomsday, I will be the enemy of him who hits his wife unrighteously. He whohits his wife will be rebellious towards Allah and His Messenger.) [R. Nsihn]

(Do not torture your wives! They are entrusted to you by Allahu tal. Be mild towards them and do favors!) [Muslim]

(The thawb [blessing] of emancipating a slave is written in the deed-book of himwho looks at his wife with a smiling face.) [R. Nsihn]

(Allahu tal loves him who gets on well with his wife and banters with her and He increases their sustenance.) [I. Ll]