THE MARKVolume III . . . No. 3 MONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015 FREE-ish

It may seem that there are few things in life that Quest’s President, David Helfand, has yet to achieve. He is the President of the American Astronomical Society, recipient of Columbia University’s Presidential Teaching Award and Great Teacher Award, part-time TV personality on the Daily Show and Science News, and (supposedly) the cre-ator of Ultimate Frisbee. After some extensive Googling, I could only find one weak point: Helfand has not yet authored a book. By the end of this year, however, Columbia University Press will be publishing a book entitled A Survival Guide to the Misinformation Age, by none other than Dr. Helfand himself. Let feelings of inadequacy rage on.

Helfand notes that this book is, in part, “a diatribe against illog-ical thinking and the propagation against misinformation or disin-formation.” It also serves as—you guessed it—a survival guide on how to protect oneself from false information by independently ana-lyzing data and evaluating validity. “I’m increasingly concerned by the lack of logical thought, the innu-meracy, and the appeal to magical thinking that seems to dominate our media completely,” Helfand expressed. “I think that’s very dan-

gerous.”Everyday misinformation can

appear in highly reliable sources, such as news publications that reference numbers and measure-ments without proper context. For example: reading about how many gigatons of fossil fuels are released into the atmosphere is relatively meaningless unless you actually know how large a gigaton is in rela-tion to the size of the atmosphere. Through A Survival Guide, Helfand wants to “provide tools so that people can become intelligent, ra-

tional consumers.” One way to ac-complish this is to “talk about the representation of data on graphs, because graphs are used to mis-lead people,” explained Helfand. “I talk about basic probability and statistics, because they are misun-derstood and misused a lot.”

The current vaccination con-troversies are an example of A Survival Guide’s relevance, Hel-fand noted, as they illustrate how scientific fraud can have “devas-tating effects when amplified by social media.” Helfand sees further

OPINIONView from Here: Amsterdam

PAGE B1 ARTS & CULTURE

Manologues ReviewPAGE B2 SPORTS & HEALTH

Closing RemarksPAGE C1

Gboko John Stewart: An UpdateBy ZUBER SINGH AHLUWALIA

Rude Dude Takes Food

A spree of food theft over late January and early February has rocked campus. While South Village residents Lilli Kuechle and Terra Hauser were particularly af-fected by this series of robberies, which they believe was caused by a lack of campus-wide account-ability, they were touched by anon-ymous acts of generosity from the ‘Secret Kermode Council’.

With the excitement of Jan-uary block break approaching, Kuechle and Hauser had begun to prepare for an off-campus excur-sion. “We were all going to be gone, so we decided to defrost our freez-er,” Kuechle recalled. A relatively long-term process, defrosting the freezer meant that all the foodstuffs in the fridge had to be relocated; the nearby community kitchen fridge seemed an obvious choice, although it was not without risk.

Last year, an unknown house-breaker entered Kuechle and Hauser’s condo and make off with their roommate’s birthday cake. This time, the two took precau-tions, given the value of the pro-visions. “We had secured the food in a tied up plastic bag. We even left a note asking people not to go through it,” Hauser said.

But these measures were to no avail. Upon their return, they found the bag’s knot untied, the note disregarded, and the food missing—including a jumbo sized

Continued on page A2

By IAN GREER

Getting to Quest can be hard, but some have it harder than oth-ers. Gboko John Stewart, a Libe-rian student and radio host, has been duking it out with the Cana-dian government for the right to enter the country at all.

After Ebola racked parts of Western Africa last year, Stephen Harper instituted a travel ban on several countries in the region, in-cluding Liberia. Stewart has been fighting for a lift on the ban ever since. An online petition that urg-es Harper to change his policy has garnered over 1,000 signa-tures. I checked in with him about his journey thus far.

How did you first find out about Quest?

In October 2012, I met a Gam-bian AIDS activist after being introduced to him by a mutual friend. He talked a lot about the need to alter traditional methods of teaching at colleges. It was then that Quest popped up; he told me that it was unlike other universi-ties and that I would like it. The rest is history.

At what point did you find out that you would be denied a visa? What has the response to this been in your community?

I was watching television with my mom when I got the breaking

A Look Inside David Helfand’s First Book

NEWS

Library FinesPAGE A2 FACES & SPACES

Featuring: South Village

PAGE C2

news that Canada had followed Australia in banning visas to Li-beria, Guinea and Sierra-Leone [in October 2014]. I quickly flipped the channel so she couldn’t see it, but news doesn’t hide, does it? We don’t have a traditional relationship with Canada, unlike the one we have with the Unit-ed States, so people didn’t really care as long as that ban did not come from the American govern-ment. But deep down, I was really worried.

Has there been outcry from Libe-rians about recent international visa bans?

Few Liberians have spoken out about the international visa bans, especially since the United States didn’t issue one. Most of the outcry was against stigmati-zation. Liberians and Canadians need to sign the petition in order to add more pressure, and write or call the Prime Minister’s office, because we are on our way to being declared free of Ebola on April 13. [Note: The last Ebola pa-tient in Liberia was released on March 5.]

What has your relationship with Quest been like throughout this process?

Quest has been supportive by encouraging students to sign the petition and has even prom-ised to keep a spot for me. I’m

jar of peanut butter and twenty dollars’ worth of cheese. “This isn’t the same as when someone steals a cookie, that I’d be okay with. This is downright theft,” Kuechle said. The roommates, who like many South Villagers rely on the com-munity kitchen as a food-storage and cooking facility, were shocked by these actions occurring in a place that many consider safe.

This latest theft only further aggravated popular feelings. When first year Jack Lambert found that an entire box of cookie dough had been stolen, he posted a notice of the theft on Facebook, which quickly garnered much response including calls for ‘bait’ dishes laced with laxatives planted in the fridge. Though in humour, the out-rage was evident. The thefts were not confined to South Village; a cake Nicholas Campaigne baked for his friend was also recently stolen from an Ossa community fridge.

As to the cause of the thefts, Kuechle reasoned, “It’s a lack of accountability. Chances are this person lives in this building (South Village) with three roommates. If my roommate walked in with a month’s worth of shrimp I would at least ask where they got it from,” she said, referring to another re-cent theft of her food from the community fridge.

Nevertheless, Kuechle and her roommate’s faith in the community

By MICHAELA SLINGER

Helfand reveals one of his post-Quest endeavoursexamples of his book’s importance when considering that “the new chairman on the Committee of En-vironment in the US Senate says that climate change is the great-est hoax ever perpetrated on the American people,” or how North Carolina legislated out the use of scientific data on sea level rise when making policies on coastal development. “They outlawed the use of science, of rational thought,” Helfand said.

The core of A Survival Guide comes from an electronic pam-phlet that Helfand wrote for a course he created at Columbia University. When he arrived at Columbia, there was a core cur-riculum much like Quest’s Foun-dation program. It was comprised of seven courses that all first and second years had to complete: all seven courses belonged to the hu-manities, with not a single science, math, or social science course to be found. Helfand was “appalled,” and after 27 years of work he final-ly succeeded in adding an eighth course to the core curriculum. It aimed to teach students how to think and ask questions like a sci-entist. Since there was no textbook to accurately teach this, Helfand wrote the aforementioned pam-phlet “that spelled out various sci-

entific habits of mind.” “I had been bugged several

times to publish this writing, but it was way too small to be a book and I just didn’t have time,” Hel-fand explained. “But this time, they finally got to me.” He went on to explain that he loves the process of writing, although not when it’s forcibly squeezed in amongst the multiple full time jobs he currently holds. “I’m really looking forward to the idea of having a lot more time to actually see if I could just write,” said Helfand. “I enjoy wandering off and getting lost researching some-thing for several hours and then sitting there and writing twenty pages in three hours.” I nodded and smiled as he said this, while inside attempting to calculate how quickly my own homework could be completed if I operated at that pace. Half jokingly, Helfand re-marked: “I write quite quickly, you know. I type with two fingers and a thumb.”

Helfand went on to divulge the next two or three books he has lined up in his head. “The next one will be more science, rather than policy,” Helfand described. “My tentative title for it is the title of the course I developed a long time ago at Columbia, which is The Univer-

DAVID HELFAND

Continued on page A2

hoping Quest writes the Prime Minister and MP John Weston. A letter carries weight and brings more light to my situation.

You mentioned that you are planning to contact the Liberian president once your online peti-tion has reached 1,000 signatures. What are your expectations?

President Sirleaf has a rock star status around the world and I’m optimistic it can be used to in-fluence Prime Minister Harper to lift the visa ban.

What can students do to get in-volved?

Students at Quest need to spread word of the petition and also call the Prime Minister’s of-fice to inform him about a school-mate who is disenfranchised.

Is there anything else you would like Quest’s student body to know?

I’m very shy, and the petition has sort of given me a celebrity status which will actually give me a hard time while trying to inte-grate.

But overall, I appreciate the support from the student body and I look forward to meeting ev-eryone on campus soon.

Gboko John Stewart can be reached at gboko90@gmail.com

A2 MONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015THE MARKNEWS

How I Became the Owner of Curlew IIIBy MAYA BROEKE

(Sourced from www.may-abroeke.com, adapted/edited by Michaela Slinger)

I’ve been obsessed with sail-boats for some time now. My par-ents met while they were sailing around the world, and although my family never owned a boat, the stories that I heard growing up were more than enough to ignite a desire to sail. I bought books on sailing, and read them even though I had nothing to practice on. I begged people with sailboats to let me come and learn how to sail. Eventually, my swim coach took pity on me, and he let me and my best friend Esme come and learn how to sail on his 27 foot boat.

We scrubbed the decks in return for a few hours’ sailing in protected waters. I loved every moment—even cleaning was an exciting and enjoyable task when it was on a boat, standing over the great big beautiful ocean that leads to so many places. At my high-school graduation, I told my principal to list “sailing around the world” as one of my future plans. At that point I had no boat, barely any clue how to sail, and I’d never been on a sailboat for more than four hours at a time.

It was sunny when I first saw her.

It was a Sunday, the sun was hovering between morning and af-ternoon, and I was out for a bike ride. It was the first time in a while that I didn’t have any homework, and I decided that I’d take full ad-vantage of the situation by explor-ing Squamish. I was at the marina when I saw her. She was beautiful.

She had wooden decks, and although the varnish was peeling off, they were still beautiful. She had dark red sails, and although they were poking out of the sail cover and bleached by the sun,

Chance encounter at the Squamish marina leads to a dream come true

they were still beautiful. She was painted a light tan colour, and although the paint was peeling off the woodwork, I could see all that wood underneath, and it was beautiful.

As I looked, a man who lived on the boat next to her came over and started talking to me. “Please tell me you’re going to fix her up,” he said. “She could win boat shows if she was cleaned up a bit. You know, I haven’t seen the owners down here for years. I bet if you contacted them, you could get her for a good deal.”

I had wanted to own a boat for ages. But now I was scared. In re-ality, I’m an 18 year old university student who knows pretty much nothing about boats. What could I do with Curlew III? I thought about it for a few days, returned to the marina, and then I finally emailed the owners. They had left their email addresses in Curlew’s win-dow, the black sharpie fading from years in the sun. I got this reply a few days later (names of owners changed to protect thier identity):

She’s yours. Moorage paid un-til end of March. On the basis of “as is/where is”. A bill of sale for $1.00 has to be done up first, signed and exchanged between us.

After the sale papers are done, you will need to present yourself (well in advance of the end of March) and identify yourself to the marina manager as the new owner

of Curlew III to register your boat and have a right to the slip. We will provide you all manuals and pa-per info we have on the boat, and would plan to make a trip there to empty the “personal contents” of the boat.

She is a good boat worth the time to fix her. Has a good 10 HP Sabb One Lunger which has al-ways worked well, last run 3 years ago.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith.I barely knew how to reply.

How could I, after what they had just done for me? I wrote back, try-ing to put all of my excitement into inanimate words on a screen. Any-thing I wrote seemed inadequate.

But I now own a boat: Curlew III. The dream has come true, and now the adventures begin. There’s a lot of money to pay, even though there wasn’t much upfront cost, and there’s a lot of time to be spent. I’ve owned her for a few weeks now, and I’ve found that the time and the money come naturally enough when you really want something. It’s just getting over that initial fear that’s difficult –– and while I won’t say it’s all smooth sailing from here (because it’s not), I will say that I look for-ward to every minute of it.

If there’s a moral to this story, it’s to never be afraid to ask for what you want. The worst that can happen is that you don’t get it and life goes on, and the best that can happen is that you do.

MAYA BROEKE

By JEANNIE RAKAMNUAYKIT

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover Charge

We get away with a lot when it comes to library books.

No student has ever actual-ly coughed up, despite receiving scary overdue notices that display accruing fines.

Technical Services Librarian Shauna Bryce cites several rea-sons that stem from Quest’s early history. “While we were creating the system, we decided that even if we set it up to show fines and fees, we would not collect them or even set up a cash box. We had two staff at the time; it didn’t seem feasible.” Bryce also added that Quest didn’t always have ATMs on campus, and students who want-ed to pay in cash would have had to leave campus to do so.

Then there is the issue of money itself. Library Technician Heather Bourne understands how difficult it is to ask people to pay overdue fines when some are us-ing the library because they can’t afford their textbooks. At the same time, there needs to be a system of checks and balances that helps the librarians ensure books are in circulation.

Voyager, the integrated library system Quest Library uses, is set up to send students a pre-due date courtesy notice and three overdue notices. The system also notifies the librarians once the student has received all three overdue notices; the book (or other media, such as DVDs) is then given a “lost” status.

Once books are considered “lost,” students are given yet more time to avoid being billed. Quest’s librarians ignore overdue fees, but

lost or damaged books result in charges to student accounts. The student must then pay in full for the book, in addition to a $20 pro-cessing fee. It’s not much more thrilling for the librarians. To avoid going through what Bourne calls arduous “buying and processing processes,” Bryce sends the stu-dent up to three more personally composed emails.

“I usually get a lot of success on manual emails,” Bryce said. “People then take the time to communicate the situation with us, whether they’ve forgotten the book in Seattle or have it with them on exchange.” In cases like these, the librarians either renew the book for students (which you can do yourself up to twice on-line!) or make a note to postpone billing. Don’t take this lenience for granted; in other libraries, once a book is considered “lost” by the system, the borrower is immedi-ately billed.

Needless to say, we’re not like other libraries. No other library in Canada caters to the block plan, so the Quest Library has to work extra hard to ensure books—es-pecially those on reserve—are returned promptly for student use each month. “We just want stu-dents to communicate with us,” Bourne said. “Our priority is to get books back on the shelves, not to take students’ money. Help us hold yourself and your friends account-able. After all,” she exclaimed, “we’re not out to harass you!”

Check out library.questu.ca to read up on library policies and re-new media online.

By MICHAELA SLINGER

Helfand’s New Book cont.sal Timekeeper.” The book would explain how isotopes are used to reconstruct the history of every-thing from art forgeries to the hu-man diet, the climate, and the age of the universe. Helfand explained the concept to me while drawing on the whiteboard and remarking how cool it was, even if it made him a “nerd.”

Another potential book may be written by Helfand along with other familiar Quest faces. “Annie Prudhomme-Genereux is coor-dinating several tutors to write a book on the block system, along with the person from Colorado College who invented it, and some-one from Hearst, where they just adopted it,” said Helfand. “It looks at the implications, the problems, and what it means [to do the block system].”

Helfand noted that A Survival Guide will prove extremely rele-vant to Quest students. “We have a slightly controversial Quantitative Reasoning program, because we strongly believe that it is not pos-sible to function as an intelligent, informed citizen of the world today without some basic quantitative

skills,” he said. “This book does that and goes quite a bit beyond in emphasizing why this is important and what the potential implications of not having these skills are.”

Upon reading A Survival Guide, Helfand’s editor said to him that it was “a little snarky.” Hel-fand’s reply? “That’s the point.” He promised to send a copy of the book to Quest’s library once it is published. Perhaps Helfand should send the school multiple copies — if not, you’ll have to fight me over reading it first.

Read below for an excerpt from the Introduction to Helfand’s book, which The Mark has been granted permission to publish.

“Some of this misinformation masquerades as science, adopt-ing technical jargon, holding con-ferences, and publishing journals. While it is politically incorrect to do so in some circles, I call this what it is: pseudoscience, which I define as a body of inquiry which super-ficially adopts the language and trappings of science, but which operates in a parallel universe, rejecting all findings that do not support its basic tenets, immune to falsifiability, and having no impact

on the ideas and work of those pursuing genuine scientific inquiry.

Some sociologists of science will, no doubt, be inflamed by that last statement, citing it as prima facie evidence of manifest white, male, hegemonic arrogance on the part of this author. So be it — they can write their own books.

We find ourselves at the start of the third millennium by our cur-rent method of calendrical reckon-ing, the 4,568,000th millennium cal-culated in geologic time. And this millennium is unique. Never before in Earth’s history have there been 7 billion large mammals occupying almost every ecological niche on the planet. More importantly, nev-er before has a species possessed the ability to contemplate its fu-ture. Unfortunately, far too few of these 7 billion mammals have the leisure time, the resources, or the inclination to think much about the future. The fate of our species is in the hands of those who have this luxury. My goal is to equip you for this task by cultivating those hab-its of mind I believe are essential if our species is to be thriving at the dawn of the fourth millennium.”

By ZUBER SINGH AHLUWALIA

Taken Food cont.

has not been completely shattered. As early in February many victims of theft were anonymously gifted treats from the ‘Secret Council of Kermode Bears’. The condo-mates were pleasantly surprised to find a note, a jar of peanut butter and a gift card at their doorstep. They were not the only ones. Many vic-tims expressed their gratitude and

appreciation on the Student Face-book page, transforming it into a platform of celebration, thanks, and humour overnight.

To the unknown food thief, Kuechle had this to say: “If on the off chance whoever stole from me didn’t have the proper food or was hungry, approach me and I will cook you dinner because I usually have stuff lying around; that’s an open invitation.”

NICO CAMPAIGNE

SPECIAL INTEREST:

Remnants of a pillaged cheesecake in Ossa.

THE MARK OPINIONMONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015 B1

By ELISE PEARSON

Staff Profile: Declan Wolfe By KENDRA PERRIN

A hand trails down your back as a pair of lips gently kiss your neck. A soft sigh turns into a moan as the hand brushes against your center, and you begin to feel a little lightheaded. Then you feel fingers begin to fumble with your jeans, fingers that slip under the fabric, so close to your ache. Fingers that suddenly stop, confused...Shit. Not again.

There are a number of rea-sons why we might have perfor-mance issues, whether we have a penis or a vagina. These include but aren’t limited to alcohol, lack of foreplay, dehydration, where you are in your menstrual cycle, circu-lation, certain masturbation habits, and stress or other psychological blocks.

When it comes to vaginas, the first thing to remember is that everyone’s body naturally produc-es differing amounts of lubricant with varying ease. Don’t assume that all women gush instantly all the time when they’re turned on. Getting to know your body’s base-line and embracing it will help you relax and recognize when things

Getting Off: Performance Issues

During the Mark’s last sto-ry meeting, a student suggest-ed someone write a profile on a staff member working at Quest. I jumped at the opportunity; there are so many familiar faces on campus with which we have very few interactions as students, and I hoped this article would provide me with the chance to get to know another member of our commu-nity. Staring out of the library win-dow at the neatly pruned trees and perfectly cut grass, I decided to approach groundskeeper De-clan Wolfe.

We chatted about what brought him to Squamish and how he came to work at Quest. Wolfe, originally from Saskatchewan, moved to the coast 13 years ago. He reminisced about walking to school and climbing over snow banks as a child, telling his sister that he would one day be a mountain climber. Years later he stopped to visit her in Whistler before driving down to Mexico with his friends. They only visited for a few days, but he im-mediately knew this was where he would live; the mountains immedi-ately felt like home. He moved to Whistler and then Pemberton be-fore coming to Squamish, and like many Quest students, he is a huge fan of everything outdoors. He has encountered many bears while trail running, run triathlons in the flat terrain of Saskatchewan, and backcountry skis, mountain bikes, and kayaks. These days, he spends most of his outdoor time mountain biking. “Just like anything, it’s as scary or dangerous as you make it — but you can always push your limits. And there are many limits on the trails.” He loves Squamish for its immediate access to these sports and the outdoors. “Driv-ing along the highway, it’s hard to imagine the kind of trails and views this place has to offer. Unless you know the sport of climbing, you wouldn’t know that there is world class climbing, right there.”

Wolfe is responsible for all the grounds on campus. He maintains the lawns, trees, shrubs, garden beds and constantly has various projects on the go. His first experi-ence with groundskeeping was as a summer job during his time as a Kinesiology student at university in Saskatchewan. Originally he had responded to a custodial position posted at Quest, but was thrilled when this position presented it-self two years ago. He is passion-ate about the work and grateful to have a job that gets him outside all the time, despite frequent rainy days.

Wolfe already has a relation-ship with several Quest students through work-study. However, as one of the students who had nev-er spoken with him before, it was really wonderful to put a name to a face and talk about the common home that we share. I encourage students to touch base with the faces they see around every day. Say hello, ask the staff about their stories — chances are, they’ve got great ones to tell.

View From Here Phases of an All-Nighter

The point of diminishing re-turn (noun): a concept that is useful to know about and is com-pletely ignored whilst pulling an all-nighter. This phenomenon can be attributed to desperation, stub-bornness, ego, and an unwilling-ness to walk down the hill because it’s cold. All day

Decide if you’re going to pull an all-nighter. This is important. You can’t half-ass it. If you finish your work early and get to catch some Zs (or at least one Z) that’s great. But set out with the inten-tion to stay up all night. Commit by drinking coffee. Drinking coffee after dinner is a big commitment. Like getting married, except only one of them will keep you up all night.10:00pm

There are only two ways to feel about an all-nighter. You can ei-ther drag your ass to the academic building and think about how tired you are, or you can think you’re the shit. Brag to everyone that you’re about the pull this shit off, put on a cozy sweater, put your hair in a basic bitch bun, and hun-ker down. That’s all there is to it! Morale is high.12:45am

It’s important to set a sustain-able pace of productivity. Allow yourself breaks. Go on Facebook. Do a headstand. Fall and hurt yourself because I told you to do a headstand.12:56am

Frustration. This Keystone is crap. I am a failure. During this phase, a re-up on caffeine is help-ful. If you smoke, do that now. If you don’t smoke but have roommates who do, also do that now. If you don’t smoke and never have, never will, get over yourself.*1:30am

Huzzah, a moment of insight!!

By CALEAH DEAN &ANNA GLASER

maybe aren’t going the way they normally do.

If you find yourself in a situa-tion where you’re ready and will-ing with a partner and for some reason your body isn’t responding as you think it should, don’t pan-ic. That will likely make it worse. Instead, try slowing down the ac-tion. Drink some water, make sure you’re taking the time you need to really feel fully aroused, and let your partner know that you might need a little extra attention or time.

Occasionally there might not be any noticeable explanation at all. “If you’re genuinely feeling ready for sex in every way besides lack of lubrication, just think of it as one of your body’s little hiccups and go for the lube rather than stressing about it or imagining it as some sort of failure,” said one third year student.

Lube is a possible alternative if you’re really feeling determined and none of the above is helping. Remember that it’s also perfectly alright to say that you’re not feeling it and ask for a rain check. If you do decide to go for lube, but are afraid of somehow killing the mood by asking for it, treat it as some-

thing you enjoy using rather than something you need.

While performance issues are a reality for both men and women, one fourth year student said that in a heterosexual encounter, issues from both parties tend to reflect poorly on the guy. One second year agreed, saying, “In a hetero-sexual couple, if the man can’t per-form the common misconception is that he is not manly enough or turned on enough. Conversely, if the woman can’t perform it is be-cause the man isn’t doing enough to get her in the mood.”

These misconceptions can make communication difficult or embarrassing, especially if one party is taking the blame for the issue. As one second-year student said, “the assumption is that, at least for men, performance issues don’t happen until you’re old or shitfaced, which isn’t the case.” A variety of factors such as sleep deprivation, stress, and lack of arousal can affect performance, all of which contribute to making performance issues a common occurrence among both men and women.

Another possible cause is

AMSTERDAM — I have been told, as perhaps you’ve been as well, that one should try to take pleasure from the “simple things” in life.

This makes sense to me. Life is hard, sometimes miserable. Co-lossal victories are rare; ambitions do not always align with outcomes (is this just for me, or am I getting at something a little more universal here?).

So, given the possibility/prob-ability that I will not become an internationally renowned journal-ist, nor the mayor of Vancouver, and given the possibility/probabil-ity that some seriously bad things will happen to me, I ought to ap-preciate it when a ray of sunshine warms my face in early March.

I ought to. Again, I don’t know how it was for you, but for me, the appreciate-the-small-things, small-things-are-big-things, hap-piness-comes-in-small-packag-es pieces of advice were always phrased as precisely that: pieces of advice. They somehow implied that there would need to be a con-certed effort—that the small things in life would not simply give me great pleasure, but that I would have to take it, quite deliberately.

And I have taken all I can, fo-cusing on chewing my pieces of dark chocolate slowly and with ap-preciation, thinking about how cute baby ducklings are, reveling in the sensation of my weightless body in water. And none of this has been bad, not even slightly unpleasant. Small things (a rather arbitrary designation in itself, but I guess in none of the aforementioned exam-ples was I falling in love or having a trampoline installed in my back-yard) do make me pretty happy when I make them.

An interjection: on my third day in Amsterdam, I got a bike. A glossy, forest green Gazelle cruiser with back-pedal brakes, those re-

ally Dutch upright handlebars, and simple suspension—no gears. A real beauty, if you’ll permit me a little bragging.

An explanation: when I ride my bike, as I do here often, and which I also take to be a “small thing,” I feel what might well be joy. Now let me qualify a little so that you do not dismiss this claim as mere hyperbole. I do not feel constant and unadulterated joy on my bike; I am not positively beaming on a second-to-second basis. Sometimes I want a snack; sometimes it is raining. But, on the whole, and I really mean this, when I’m cruising around Amsterdam (“cycling” — as the Dutch would have it), I feel pretty joyful.

I had ridden bikes before com-ing to Amsterdam, so we cannot write off my glee as the mere prod-uct of novelty. There are a few rea-sons why riding a bike here is such an excellent experience.

One: topography. The Nether-lands is a remarkably flat country. Like, the bridges constitute the big-gest hills in Amsterdam. So unless I am wearing an absurd amount of layers, I can make it somewhere without sweating.

Two: bike lanes. Wide, and exclusively yours. Consequentially, no helmets (and no helmet hair).

Three: you can bike with friends! You can ride two side-by-side on all lanes, and here and there you can squeeze in a third.

Four: free and abundant park-ing.

Five: it’s not just leisure be-cause you’re actually getting some-where—utilitarian and pleasant.

So here is a small thing that has given me pleasure with no concerted effort or taking on my behalf. Perhaps in addition to taking pleasure from the “simple things” in life, one should ride a bike.

And this, this is my view from here.

Blessed is this Keystone, for I am god of all that is bullshitting. Morale is high. I just got really distracted writing about phases of pulling an all-nighter. Inspiration is misguided. At this point, getting the fuck back to work is suggested.1:46am

Wrap yourself in a blanket. Man am I glad I brought a blanket. I hope you brought a blanket. It’s helpful to note that because you’ll be drinking a lot of water and a lot of coffee, you get to take a pee break like every damn minute.3:07am

Consider quitting. Resist quit-ting. Quitting is for quitters. I’m hungry.3:08am

Consider quitting more seri-ously. Reason with self. Realize that at this point caffeine constitutes a considerable percentage of your blood stream and sleep is simply not going to happen. Morale is low and does not really exist because brain does not work. Time for a study break.3:08:30am

Ssssttttrrreeetttccchhh...now RUN! 4:15am

BRILLIANT INSIGHT. Just in time to not have enough time to carry this idea out.4:41am

As a wise person on the inter-net once said, “procrastination is a lot like owning a credit card; it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.”5:12am

Know your limits. Now toss ‘em out the window.After you sleep, wake up, make coffee, and read over what you did last night

Maybe don’t trust your in-stincts when you think your ideas are brilliant at 4:00 am. On the plus side, your hair looks totes fab from being in a bun all night. Now do a self-high five and get to class.

*Joking....hi mom.

By EMMA LINDE

what one fourth year calls “un-fortunate masturbation habits.” If you have been single for a while, it is possible to get accustomed to the “death grip” while getting off, he says. This sets a standard with which no vagina, mouth, or toy can ever compete, making it difficult to finish or even get aroused with a partner. This can be avoided, says the fourth year, by masturbating with a Fleshlight in order to main-tain realistic expectations of tight-ness.

Experiencing technical difficul-ties in the bedroom is nothing to be ashamed of. The important thing to remember is to communicate with your partner. Check in with each other and see if there is any-thing you can do to help them get in the mood and make sure they know that stopping is an option at any time. Blaming yourself or your partner for something neither of you can likely control will only lead to further anxiety, including in future sexual encounters. Remem-ber, sex should be fun. Take it slow and enjoy the ride.

Play safe, Anna & Caleah

ELISE PEARSON

B2 MONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015THE MARKARTS & CULTURE

Manologues Reviewed

The Broader Importance Behind the Anything But English Open Mic

By NEDER GATMON-SEGAL

By DEVON FRANCIS

As the crowd quieted down and the show’s producer, James Blumhagen, stepped onto the stage, voices could be heard creeping up from the first floor of the atrium. After a brief introduc-tion and an uncomfortably vague trigger warning, fourth-year student Daniel Shankman, who co-produced this year’s Mano-logues along with Blumhagen, entered the stage. The production was moved to the third floor of the library building because Fei Shi’s Theatre class had the MPR booked for the month; luckily, the smaller space allowed for a much more intimate, albeit less isolated, environment. Having followed the creative process of Mano-logues from afar, I was aware that some of the pieces were written very recently, as early as a week before the performance. With the late change of location, and short rehearsal time, my expecta-tions for this year’s production of Manologues were not extremely high. However, by the end of the

Second iteration of show a great success, yet still has room for improvement

night, I was proven thoroughly wrong.

The show got off to a great start with a funny and touching story about Blumhagen’s first at-tempt at a shave (using his moth-er’s pink single-blade razor, no less). Next came Michael Powell with a powerful piece on his rela-tionship as a man with violence, largely through the criminal ac-tivities of his older brother. In a way, these two pieces set the tone for the rest of the show, which contained a variety of pieces that

were at times serious, funny, and sentimental. All the performers wrote their own pieces, and that personal and authentic touch came through.

Zuber Singh’s story of the ideas of manhood imparted to him by the patriarchs in his fam-ily was one of many, frankly, hi-larious humorous pieces. Of the more serious pieces, Stuart Burke’s piece on the arbitrariness and suf-focating nature of gender labels, as well as Andrew Wood’s story of an adolescent trip to Raft Cove,

On the evening of March 15, the smell of groundnut soup and spanakopita wafted from the MPR as students and faculty made small talk in the sun. By 6:00pm, the audience had taken their seats for Quest’s first Anything But En-glish Open Mic. The performanc-es that followed were comprised of songs, poems, and dances from almost every continent. High-lights of the night included Shae Watson’s dramatic sign language interpretation of “Forget You” by Cee Lo Green, Vic Wang’s pas-sionate rendition of the French song “Et Si Tu N’existais Pas,” and Lhachoe Dolma Lama and Cello Mizumoto’s lively dance to a tra-ditional Nepali song.

The event was organized in part by SRC Minister of In-ternationalization, Aida Ndiaye. Throughout her year as minister, Ndiaye has organized activities such as the International Affairs Speaker Series and the weekly language tables in the cafeteria. “There has been a lot more inter-national student engagement in the community [this year]...but there’s also a lot more work to be done.”

The open mic served as a platform for experiencing the variety of languages and cultures that are present at Quest. During each performance, an English translation of the piece was pro-jected onto the wall for the audi-ence to read. Shira Weidenbaum, a French and Humanities tutor, expressed the importance of un-derstanding the cultural meaning behind the performances. “Hav-ing heard somebody offer some-thing of their culture means that

the next time we meet somebody else who’s from that culture, per-haps [we will have] a little more insight and a little more compas-sion.”

While the performances may have been a learning experience for many audience members, they also gave the performers a chance to express themselves and connect to their cultural roots. “There is lots wrapped up in lan-guage that is just non-transfer-able to any other format. There are ways of expressing and cul-tural norms, behavioral patterns, body language, emotion, all these things wrapped up in the words themselves,” said second year student Talia Martz-Oberlander. She performed a piece in Yiddish, connecting back to her family’s ancestry in Eastern Europe.

Among the many performers of the night were three faculty: Weidenbaum, Bianca Brigidi, and I-Chant Chiang. “I think it’s nice to be able to notice that faculty other than the language teach-ers speak other languages,” said Weidenbaum. “It’s also important to remember that we don’t just study the language and literature. There are lots of reasons that peo-ple know different languages, and a lot of things that we do with dif-ferent languages.”

The faculty’s performances highlighted the bridge between culture and academics at Quest. Zuber Singh Ahluwalia, a second year from New Delhi, expressed his satisfaction with the way that the block plan lends itself to mul-ticulturalism. “A lot of courses in the block plan have projects that do allow a very personal kind of input: for example, an essay that requires a personal story, or even

a creative project that you can draw on your own culture for.”

On the other hand, Ndiaye says that while she found this to be the case in her Concentration classes, she struggled with the Western ethnocentricity in many of her Foundation classes. “I think there’s definitely a lot of room for improvement. Even for What is Life, to just have a different ap-proach for how science [is] treat-ed in other parts of the world.”

But striking a balance be-tween course material of different cultures can be difficult for tutors. “What can easily happen is a sort of token-ism,” said Weidenbaum. “And so making sure that they’re really good choices of what other cultures I’m bringing in [is im-portant].”

Given discussions with stu-dents and faculty, it seems as though Quest still has room to grow in the realm of under-standing and expressing different languages and cultures. But for now, events like the Anything But English Open Mic endeavor to showcase Quest’s diversity.

stood out as especially powerful. Throughout the show, Tristan Kline provided physical comedy (a medium lacking in Quest per-formances) in a clown costume, allowing for light-hearted breaks from the varied, sometimes long, monologues.

One thing that seemed to be missing, however, was an engag-ing and serious grappling with male privilege. A piece by Leif Early attempted to tackle the issue of having a privileged voice as a man, and Early should be com-mended for the attempt. How-ever, it was unclear exactly what message Early was attempting to convey.

For Manologues to contin-ue growing, a more thorough examination of male privilege is necessary. There is no denying that men deal with problems re-sulting directly from patriarchy, but men also deal daily with be-ing privileged, and complicit in oppression. It is hard to critique the content of the show when the performers wrote their own pieces. However, the performers

no doubt have personal stories that place them on the other side of the privileged/oppressed rela-tionship. Yes, these stories are the scarier, less comfortable ones to tell. Who would want to tell the whole school of a time they un-fairly exercised their privilege? Or about a time they watched anoth-er man exercise his privilege and didn’t intervene? But they need to be told. Hopefully future per-formers will be inspired by the otherwise excellent legacy left by the two previous Manologues performances and challenge themselves to tell these stories.

When speaking with Blum-hagen immediately after the show, he noted, beaming, that the first full run-through of the show hap-pened the day before. I had not come in with high expectations, but was blown away by the level of the performance, undoubtedly one of the best put up by Quest students in recent memory. Even more exciting though, is the thought that Manologues has so much more room to grow.

Event speaks to state of internationalization at QuestBy MIKE ALLAN & ETHAN

CLARK-DAVIS

Life at Quest can most cer-tainly be a struggle. However, successfully navigating the un-foreseen perils of festival life and making it back for your summer job on Monday morning can be a feat in and of itself.

Some students at Quest may have taken advantage of the lo-cals-only tickets sale for the Squamish Valley Music Festival (SVMF) in February. Here are five super tips from your Quest DJs who have already made these mistakes so you don’t have to.Tip 1: Don’t bring your lam-bourfeetsies, this is a shoeburu type of weekend.

You may have just bought those locally made, Roman-in-spired sandals, but you should consider leaving those at home in place of your most comfortable and reliable pair of shoes. You can expect to cover about 5km for a round trip from your campsite to the festival grounds. Never mind the long nights of dancing in the crowded Blueprint Arena, one of the festival’s four stages.

The Blueprint Arena is a stage organized by the Vancouver- based electronic music promotion company, Blueprint Events. This stage caters to electronic music fans and the curators have select-ed a diverse group of DJs, such as scratch master A-Trak and dub-step duo Adventure Club. Tip 2: The bass can bite. Bring earplugs.

“What?”No, but seriously, the St-

awamus Stage will host many of the weekend’s hip-hop art-ists, like Chance the Rapper and Schoolboy Q. Here, the bass will be bumpin’ and ear protection is a must, unless you don’t plan on listening in class anyway. Which is also not recommended.

Tip 3: Consume alcohol wisely.To blackout on campus is one

thing, but to do so in the 40,000 person crowd expected to attend each day may not be the safest idea. Additionally, if you plan on impressing the babes with your 2-step to Mumford and Sons, try to keep the margaritas to a mini-mum. The aforementioned Mum-ford and Sons will be playing on the main Tantalus Stage, joined by the likes of Drake and Of Mon-sters and Men. Tip 4: You will lose your friends; bring items to get in touch with them.

Imagine this: you meet a hottie in the crowd while your friends continue to the front in order to touch Drake’s hand. Then, crisis strikes as your beeper dies. This bittersweet moment can be alleviated by creating a camp-site- specific flag that your friends can fly on the festival ground, so you always know where to find them. SVMF does also provide cell phone charging stations, but the number of phones vastly out-numbers these.Tip 5: Bring a fanny pack and fill it with items to make new friends.

Festivals may be the only place where fanny packs are cele-brated. This is a true mystery, con-sidering their impact on fashion hasn’t been paralleled since Sam Smith’s haircut entered the scene.

Speaking of Sam Smith, his angelic voice will grace the Tan-talus Stage during the weekend, and you may want to bring items to make new friends. Of course, this one is open to interpretation. Bring and share items that your fellow festivalgoers may have for-gotten (lighter, gum, condoms, etc.).

Hopefully, these few tips will help make SVMF an amazing weekend for all the Quest stu-dents that plan on attending.

A Survival Guide to Squamish Valley Music Festival

You’ll thank us later

KEEGAN PEARSON

SQUAMISH VALLEY MUSIC FESIVAL

THE MARK THE MARK C1MONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015 SPORTS & HEALTHA Healthy Dose

By KIRIN KWAN

By AYLA RAABIS & MAYA GREENBERG

By KEVIN BERNA

It’s rare to go through a day at Quest without hearing someone complain of a headache, which usually stimulates the same re-sponses. “Take some Advil,” “take a nap,” or “have some herbal tea—I think I have a tincture that might help!” But will any of these things actually work? Do different types of headaches warrant different re-sponses? Here is a guide for how to identify and treat different types of headaches.

Types of headaches:Tension

Episodic Causes: Stress, anxiety, fatigue,

anger, poor posture, eye strain, grief, and depression.

Symptoms: Temple soreness, tightening feeling in a band around your head. Contraction of head and neck muscles and intense head pressure.

Treatment: Try to treat the causes (take antidepressants, get glasses, take a nap, decrease stress). Nonsteroidal anti-inflam-matory agents (such as ibuprofen) should help as well.

ChronicCauses: The causes for chron-

ic tension headaches are the same but are ongoing, so things such as chronic depression and need for glasses may be more common causes for these.

Symptoms: Same as above, but every day or continuing for months.

Treatment: Same as above, but also talk to your doctor if you are experiencing these headaches often. It is likely that there is an underlying cause that needs to be treated.

Migraine Causes: Hormonal changes

(particularly in women) can cause migraines. Migraines are also found to have a genetic component, such that if your family members suffer from migraines you are more likely to suffer from them as well.

Migraines are physically caused by changes in the size of the arteries inside and around the skull. They constrict and then the pain occurs during dilation. How-ever, it is not understood why this happens.

Symptoms: There are many different types of migraines, but they generally consist of severe pain and last from four hours to one week. Some people get them chronically, approximately 2-4 times per month. Many people also have visual and auditory sen-sitivity and/or nausea in addition to head pain. There are two ma-jor categories of migraines: With aura and without aura. Aura is a physical manifestation of neurolog-ical symptoms before a headache. Types of migraines with auras are broken down into subcategories.

Types of migraines with aura:

Why your head hurts and how you can make it stop

- Hemiplegic (temporary motor paralysis and/or sensory distur-bances on one side of the body followed by pins and needles during headache)

- Ophthalmoplegic (pain sur-rounding the eyeballs that could last for a few days or a few months)

- Retinal (starts with temporary, partial, or complete loss of vi-sion in one eye)

- Basilar artery (dizziness, confu-sion, or lack of balance)

- Abdominal (pain is felt in abdo-men)

Treatment: Over-the-counter

pain medications may work and there are also specially-made pain-killers for migraines that contain caffeine. If you are experiencing sensitivity to light/sound, laying down in a dark, quiet room can often alleviate some discomfort for the duration of the headache. You can also take triptans, which de-crease migraine symptoms by pro-moting the constriction of blood vessels. If you are experiencing nausea, there are several over-the-counter nausea medications that can work to reduce discomfort.

Cluster Causes: The causes of cluster

headaches are also vascular, as they are related to migraines.

Symptoms: Unilateral pain starting with sharp pain in one eye, which may be tearing or blood-shot, along with nasal congestion. Pain can move into the forehead and temple on the side of the head with the ache. This pain has been described as extremely piercing. They often last 30-45 minutes and come in clusters of 4 per day, on average, for a few weeks-months. Cluster headaches have been de-scribed as the most severe type of headache.

Treatment: If the pain is bad enough to go to the hospital, they will often put patients in an oxygen mask and on local anesthetics. Over-the-counter pain relievers for migraines will often work for this type of headache.

Rebound/withdrawal Causes: Withdrawal from any

sort of addictive substance, such as analgesics used to treat previ-ous headaches, or caffeine.

Symptoms: Dull, aching pain in head.

Treatment: Try to wean your-self off of the addictive substance, which will initially result in more headaches, but will overall result in less headaches. If the headache is caused by the rebound of taking an analgesic such as ibuprofen, do not take more; wait it out.

It is important to remember that there are many different types of headaches, and that the best way to prevent headaches is to stay healthy both physically and mentally. If in doubt, always try drinking water as a first step when treating a headache.

Closing RemarksSuccess of the women’s varsity basketball team highlights Quest Athletics’ 2014-2015 campaign.

After finishing 23-0, repeat-ing as Provincial Champions and dominating the All-Star list, the women’s basketball team chalked up the most successful season in the history of Quest Athletics.

Although they lost two of their three games at the Canadi-an Collegiate Athletic Associa-tion Women’s Basketball Nation-al Championships in Nanaimo (March 19-21), the women’s team seized the attention of Quest cam-pus throughout the 2014-2015 season. The Kermode Krazies who didn’t make it to the Island packed the cafeteria last week to support their fellow classmates in spirit.

It’s hard to decide which storyline to emphasize when at-tempting to communicate the success of the women’s basket-ball team. For starters, their re-cord against Pacwest competition brings to mind the days of youth basketball leagues. Remember the team with that one player who hit their growth spurt early and would simply dominate vertically challenged opponents? But this is university level ball, and teams love to be the David that takes down Goliath, so maintaining an

undefeated record was a complete team effort.

First team conference All-Stars Shayna Cameron and Mir-iam Baumann led the women; Cameron was also named Pacwest Player of the Year after averaging almost 18 points per game. The team counted on every roster player at some point throughout the long season and, according to Cameron, this total team effort was the key to success.

“Looking for the extra pass and trying to improve your team-mates’ performances every time we were on the court was the rea-son our team had success,” said Cameron. This brand of selfless basketball was instilled by head coach Dany Charlery, who was named Pacwest Coach of the Year last month.

“He teaches us all the neces-sary tools to win games but also trusts that we make the right de-cisions on the court,” explained fellow senior Katrin Sandbichler. “Dany emphasizes creativity,” added Cameron.

Charlery, who just celebrated his 33rd birthday on Saturday, at-tributes this creativity to growing up in Montreal. “I played on the outdoor courts with some great

players so I had to be creative to prove myself.” Evidently, this strategy seems to be working.

After earning their spot in the Pacwest Provincial Champi-onships (March 5-7) with a solid regular season, the Quest men’s basketball team lost their first game against Capilano University, eliminating them from the tour-nament. Despite a disappointing end to what started as a promising season, the men had a few bright spots. Dallas Searles was named a second team All-Star in his first year of Pacwest competition. Sec-ond-year players Noah DeRap-pard-Yuswack and Paul Getz were both given elevated roles this year and performed admirably, setting a promising precedent for next year’s team.

All of Quest’s student-ath-letes will convene one last time at the Athletic Banquet in April, and their achievements on and off the court will surely be reiter-ated. This year’s graduating class of student-athletes is the largest in Quest’s history, with each team losing at least four players to the real world. Make sure to check in with the Mark this fall to see who takes on leading roles for the years to come.

Tips for a Successful Move OutAvoid paying end-of-year charges and have a stress free transition into summer

Want to avoid paying $20 to have your microwave cleaned and enjoy the last few days with your friends before everyone dashes off for the summer? Don’t wait until the last minute to pack up all of your belongings; it will absolutely be in your best interest to work gradually, even if it’s a month in advance.

Whatever it is you’re doing, being organized and prioritizing your jobs will make the experience of moving out a lot more fluid. Use these tips to start the move-out process early and reduce your housing charges!

Get rid of things you don’t need. The end of the year is not only a great time to reflect on the past semesters, but to also evalu-ate what possessions are seldom used and perhaps unnecessary. So, while you’re going through all of your things, why not make a sell pile? Clothes, art, school supplies, cooking supplies/non-perishable ingredients, whatever! Anything that you feel that you don’t need can most likely be used by some-one else on campus. You can also

always make donations to the Re-use-it Center.

Double check that you’ve tak-en all of your belongings from the room and make sure to leave it clean and tidy for the people com-ing in next year.

Remember to check behind couches, chairs, desks, bed frames, cupboards, your fridges and all of the various cupboards and crevic-es of your room. Cleaning supplies can be rented out from the Villag-es’ front desks from 7-10PM every night. Trust me, you’ll be thank-ful once you end up with a nice clean room, minimal charges and fond memories resurfacing about the things you found under your couch cushions.

Make a list so you don’t forget anything:

- Sweep and mop the floor.- Wipe down all surfaces in

bedrooms, bathrooms, the living room, and the kitch-enette. Don’t forget furniture, heaters, and window sills.

- Remove stickers, graffiti or other items from both sides of the door.

- Remove all tape, putty, and adhesives from the walls,

ceiling, furniture, windows, and other surfaces.

- Clean the bathroom, including the shower and toilet.

- Clean up the common areasOnce the rooms are clean,

take a few minutes with your roommates to tidy up and clean residence halls, the lounges in the Peaks (Ossa and Red Tusk) and communal kitchens. At this point in the year the kitchens may be looking a little bit rank, but if we all contribute we can tackle it to-gether. Even if it’s just wiping down the counters, sweeping, mopping, or taking out the trash, a little from everyone can go a long way.

The end of the year can be an exciting yet daunting period. However, with these tips I hope we can mitigate the amount of panic around campus. While it may not help you escape the end of year residence fees, it’s also important to stay in touch with friends as well as update your mailing address. Make sure all of your friends, fami-ly, banks and employers are aware of your new address for the sum-mer if you aren’t going to be stay-ing at Quest.

BEARCAT ATHLETICS FLICKR

THE MARKFACES & SPACES MONDAY, MARCH 23, 2015C2

The MarkEditors-in-ChiefCALEAH DEAN &

ZACHARY KERSHMAN

News Editors ALESSANDRO TERSIGNI & JEANNIE RAKAMNUAYKIT

Opinion EditorNEDER GATMON-SEGAL

Arts & Culture EditorMICHAELA SLINGER

Sports EditorKEVIN BERNA

Contributing EditorsJONATHAN VON OFENHEIM

& LONNIE WAKE

Production ManagerR. MARIS WINTERS

Media GuruJORDAN ROSS

Editor-at-LargeTARI AJADI

Featuring: South Village

An introductory glimpse into the lives and worlds of the students at Quest.

Over the course of the school year, each living space transforms from an emp-

ty space into an often vibrant reflection of the students who call it home —no two rooms are alike.

Top Left & Right:“Roommate snuggles are the best” - Sofie ScheuermanMiddle Left:“Here the Questus Estudianti, commonly known as the Kermode, are seen relax-ing in their natural habitat” - Zuber SinghMiddle Right:“This resident’s attempts at narcissistic self expression were swiftly foiled by sharpie wielding vigilante vandals” - Zuber SinghBottom Left & Right:“Always ready to go to church... Also if you could add that I am an ordained min-ister and happy to be of service if anyone is looking to tie the knot on campus...and I wont wear my wear my fleece onesie to the wedding” - Maranda Stopol

Writing and Photography by SIOBHAN BARRY