The Crucible Essay

Some of you did commit treason against yourself—you did the right deed (completing the essay), but for the wrong reason: obedience to authority rather than to do your best for your own education.

Some Statistics—Grades

93-100 “6” 3/59 5%85-92 “5” 17/59 29%77-84 “4” 13/59 22%70-76 “3” 17/59 29%60-69 “2” 7/59 12%Below 60 “1” 2/59 3%

Class Avg.: 78 Required Rewrites: 9

Some Statistics—Grades in June if No Improvement

93-100 “6” 1/59 2%85-92 “5” 7/59 12%77-84 “4” 18/59 31%70-76 “3” 17/59 29%60-69 “2” 12/59 20%Below 60 “1” 4/59 7%

What this means for passing the Regents:12 will fail; 21 will have to get 24/25 on the multiple choice in order to pass—if there is no improvement (based on last June’s test)

Evaluation Criteria

Meaning: understanding of the quote and text—proper application of the quote accurate details and analysis of the literature

Development: level of discussion/detail provided—accurate specific details focusing on the thesis—the quote in this case (but not plot summary)

Organization: structure and argumentation—proper thesis, topic sentences, transitions, etc,

Language use: level of diction, appropriateness of language—sentence structure, word choice, no slang

Conventions: grammar, spelling, etc.

What Needs to Improve

Essay Titles: Capitalize properly, make them descriptive Crucible Essay Intention and Morality Deed and Reason: The Morality of Intention in The

Crucible

Play Title: Italicize Introduction Format: Follow the instructions given Interpeting the Lens: Go beyond mere restatement Focus on the Critical Lens: Refrain from merely

narrating the plot of the story—use only those details needed to make your point in each body paragraph.

What Needs to Improve

Topic Sentences: Each one should connect the critical lens to the specific point of the paragraph. Consider: John Proctor first signed the confession, but then

ripped it up.Narrative

John Proctor is a good example of the critical lens.Vague

When he tears up his confession, Proctor does what many would consider to be a good deed but for the wrong reason.Provides a good connection between the play and the

critical lens

What Else Needs to Improve

Accurate Details from the Play: Hale did not come to Salem to accuse witches Hale was not convinced that Elizabeth was innocent when

she was arrested—though he did clearly have his doubts Proctor admitted the affair to Elizabeth before the start of

the play Danforth is not Parris or Hathorne Abby does not accuse Proctor of witchcraft or lechery Giles Corey was not “pressed” to confess or to “name

names” Elizabeth does not convince Proctor to confess Elizabeth does not convince Proctor not to confess Elizabeth does not want Proctor dead.

Other Issues to Consider—Diction/Mechanics

Quote accurately—it is right in front of you; Spell names properly—Procter, Marry, Paris,

Abbey, Abigal, HallEliminate slang—wording such as “kids,” “mess

up,” and even “ok” are low in diction and should not be used in formal writing;

Capitalize properly and Use apostrophes—you know these rules

Proofread—consider “defiantly/definitely” Conclusions—keep them brief. Restate your

main idea and provide closure—two or three sentences.

What We Will Learn—in time to come . . .

Opening lines that move the essay forward Interpreting the critical lens more effectivelyOrdering your arguments effectivelyWriting Topic Sentences that analyze rather

than merely narrateBlending quotes properly into your textWriting Sophisticated Transitions that unify

your essay.Using high level diction to write like college-

bound young adults rather than “hormone riddled middle schoolers”

Rewrites

You must rewrite if your grade was below 70You may rewrite if your grade was 70 or

aboveMake significant changes, not just the

easy cosmetic ones (Get help!)Upload your new draft to the rewrite link on

Moodle

Due: Thursday, Oct. 25 by 5:25 pm