The Courage to Win ADVANCED 30 Day Training Program

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The Courage to Win® ADVANCED 30 Day Training Program

© Lisa Brown & Associates 2013. All Rights Reserved. www.thecouragetowin.com

The Courage to Win® ADVANCED 30 Day Training Program How To Create A Life of Joy, Fulfillment, and True Greatness Using The 3 Secrets of Deep Mental Toughness

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Lesson 4

Career & Business Mastery

In Lesson 3, you learned how to break free of your worst fear(s) in relationships using deep mental toughness to create a solid personal foundation for quality love.

Career & Business Mastery Agenda In Lesson 4, you will discover how to master fears of failure, inadequacy, loss of control, disapproval, and rejection so you can turbo-charge your career and achieve true greatness in your career and business. You will:

1. Go deeper into your ‘courage formula’ to determine how it’s affecting your career or business.

2. Discover how to apply the 3 secrets of deep mental toughness to your work to achieve fulfillment, true greatness, and success.

Your Courage Formula. You will do deeper into your courage formula to determine how it’s affecting your career or business. If you are unhappy at work, you are likely making three mental errors:

1. Ignoring your fears (stiff upper lip) 2. Giving in to your fears (learned helplessness) 3. Suffering alone with your fears (pride)

Secrets of Deep Mental Toughness. In Lesson 2, you invoked the three secrets of deep mental toughness for becoming truly vulnerable, confessing your need, and motivating people to hold you tight. They are:

1. Master Your Fear. When the problem makes you stressed, angry, or depressed, face your fear so you can diagnose and master it.

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2. Create Hope. When adversity hits, use your imagination to create hope and restore your confidence.

3. Get Superior Technique. Your problem will require action, so get superior technique and help.

Emotional Visualization (E.V). You used emotional visualization, a powerful technique for mastering fear. Using E.V., you wash away the disappointment of the past and create hope for the future using your desires.

Emotional Visualization:

Fold your hands over your heart and visualize your goal (the one you set for yourself for this training) already accomplished.

Declaration:

Say the declaration, “My courage creates my goal and my future.”

The Key to Career & Business Mastery

In How To Enjoy Your Life and Your Job, Dorothy Carnegie notes, “Did you ever stop to think that most of spend the greater part of our lives on the job – whatever that job may be?

That means that our attitude towards our job can determine whether our days are filled with excitement and the sense of fulfillment that comes from top performance – or frustration, boredom and fatigue.”

Comedian Chris Rock gives us an easy test as to whether we are fulfilled at work. Either you feel like you have job or you feel like you have a career: "Some people have jobs. Some people have careers. Here's how you can tell the difference. When you have a career, there's never enough time.

You look at your watch: 'Darn, it's 5:35. I have to come in early tomorrow and work on my project.' When you have a job, there's TOO much time. 'Ah, darn, it's 9:08.'"

The unfortunate fact is that most people do not feel fulfilled at work. Recall the statistic revealed in Lesson 1 from www.salary.com, that more than 65% of people confessed to ‘looking for more satisfying work’ even during a recession.

This means that only 35% of people are happy in their jobs!

http://www.salary.com/

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No surprise there. Perhaps you know a person who has been toiling away at a job he hates for ten, twenty or even thirty years. Or the person who cannot commit to any profession or field, who chops and changes so often he never gets ahead.

There is the fellow who watches by, helplessly, as people climb past him on the corporate ladder…the woman who likes her day job yet secretly dreams of being a working artist…the manager who hates his boss, but feels paralyzed to leave because he’s only six years away from retirement.

You’re probably also familiar with the individual who over-analyzes and over-thinks every decision or task, ultimately procrastinating way too long to be effective.

There are those who are filled with anxiety at the thought of performing under pressure, whether it’s a meeting, presentation, sales conversation, or job interview.

Some people ‘fall into’ a career out of school, never taking it upon themselves to Think Big. Others do start their own business, only to find themselves a slave to something worse: a business that exhausts them but never makes any real money.

And, just as with love, there are people who have given up on engaging in any kind of work entirely, so downhearted or disillusioned have they become.

You may be surprised to learn that every one of these career and business problems all share the same root cause. The simple fact is that most people do not have the proper courage formula to set, pursue, and achieve truly fulfilling career and business goals.

Our fears cause us to procrastinate on our dreams; to sell ourselves short, letting others dictate our career path; to sit by while other people promote themselves past us; to second-guess our instincts; to shun the spotlight and lose opportunities; and to limit our skills by staying inside our comfort zone.

And as we learned in Lesson 1, you need courage to take action on your dreams. Courage to choose a career that fulfills you. Courage to take the microphone and let your ideas be known. Courage to make decisions and mistakes, publicly. Courage to ask for help when stuck and stalled out. Courage to fire employees or bosses if they are destructive to you.

Courage to take control of your time in the face of massive demands. Courage to shrug off unwarranted criticism. Courage to share the spotlight. Courage to step outside your comfort zone. Courage to set aggressive goals and persevere against all odds. Courage to show off your brilliance, even if it makes other people uncomfortable in their own skin.

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You might find this list overwhelming. But these types of courage can be put into just three categories. We must:

1. Defeat the Comfort Zone. To defeat procrastination and become truly great in your chosen career, you’ll need to set and pursue aggressive goals, which means routinely taking action and stepping outside your comfort zone.

2. Knowing Your True Purpose. When you uncover what makes your heart sing, you create a career vision is intrinsically motivating and reflects your authentic self. This is essential to fulfillment, but it’s also essential to action. It’s only possible to consistently motivate yourself when you CARE about what you are doing.

3. Superior Technique. Whatever your goal is, you will need superior technique to achieve it. As an example, you must excel at ‘team’ which means mastering the soft skills of win-win. With win-win, you get both trust and cooperation from people because you’re assertive, not passive or aggressive.

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Courage to Win® Natural Law

Here are the three types of courage we need for Career and Business Mastery:

Defeating The Comfort Zone Knowing Your True Purpose

Superior Technique _________________________________________

Your Courage Formula Let’s go deeper into your courage formula and discover how it’s affecting you in career and business.

Courage Mental Error #1 Ignoring Your Fears – The Still Upper Lip Approach

Here’s how the stiff upper lip approach shows up in career and business. Remember, the stiff upper lip approach is the mental habit of pushing fear, anger, and frustration out of our mind.

At work, we do this by avoiding unpleasant realities that cause us stress. The name for this clever technique is procrastination. What do I mean by “unpleasant realities”? They might be

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results we’re unhappy about; decisions we’re afraid to make; confrontations we need to have; or just plain confusion about how to get where we want to go.

I remember when I wrote my first book years ago. When I was finished my first draft, I gave it to a close confidant of mine and asked him to review it. “It’s good,” he said. “I’d like to offer some suggestions to make it more reader-friendly,” he continued.

I didn’t say anything to him at the time, but I was pretty offended. “Reader-friendly?” What the heck did that mean? My book was fascinating! It was completely reader-friendly!

Of course I didn’t ask him what he meant or even for his suggestions. I didn’t want to know what was wrong with my book; I was so sure it was great. But I paid a dear price for my ego that day. If I had been willing to admit the weaknesses in my writing, I could have been a better writer much earlier. Instead it took me years to spot my weaknesses and improve.

In a study at Columbia University done a while back, they found the average salesperson works approximately 1.5 hours per day. On average, the first sales call is not made before 11:00 am in the morning. The final sales call is usually made at about 3:30 pm in the afternoon, and the average salesperson quits making calls after that and either goes back to the office or heads home. People spend the morning 'getting warmed up', chatting, or doing office work. They make a call just in time for lunch. The second call isn't made until 1:00 or 2:00 pm, at which point the person begins winding down for the day.

Sometimes it’s the smallest things that scare us. One person who stands out is Joan, an office manager who came to me complaining of burnout. According to Joan her staff needed so much help she "couldn't" get to her top priorities. "Lisa the second I walk in the door (before I even get my coat off), it's 'Hey Joan can you help me?'" The plain statement, “Yes, I can meet with you tomorrow afternoon at 3:00 pm,” felt impossible for Joan, she was so afraid of confrontation.

I discovered long ago how often a man or woman will put off making a recommendation that can result in a mistake. Here’s verbatim quote from a project manager about his struggles: “I like to go into something knowing all the details, I don't like surprises. So in my mind I need to see the whole thing end to end before I start. It makes me feel anxious to not know what is going to happen.”

What about flat-out failure? When I started selling training programs online, I hired a mentor to evaluate my website. I was quite proud of it, but of course mystified at why some programs weren’t selling well. He took one look at my online sales presentation and said, “Oh! Your copy sucks.” (“Copy” refers to “sales copy” on a website). At first I was so embarrassed I stomped

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around my office for three days. By the fourth day, however, I was grateful that someone had the nerve to tell me the truth.

Then there’s the simple act of asking for help. Many a person has confessed to me that asking for help is about as appealing as being boiled alive in oil. When talking with a lonely, frustrated engineer recently, I gave him the assignment of simply asking for help more often.

He wrote to me: “I did it twice this week! I asked my colleague what a phrase meant and if I was going down the right direction. This was to an older engineer I was having problems connecting with. Having now spoken with him multiple times this week, I already feel more of a connection and ease in talking with him and letting him know what I don’t know.”

I can tell you, his relief was palpable.

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At work, the Stiff Upper Lip approach shows up as procrastination - the habit of avoiding unpleasant realities.

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Now because of the stiff upper lip approach, our time management sucks much of the time.

“What? Not true!” I can hear you protesting right now.

Maybe you’re one of the exceptions to the rule. But the average person he is incredibly non-productive. According to Robert Half International, most employees work approximately 50% of the time. The rest of the time, they take coffee breaks, check their personal email, and chat with colleagues. In the other 50% of the time, they work on what is easy to do, not on what is hard and important.

Years ago I worked as a management consultant for a major corporation. We interviewed the CEO and asked her what her biggest complaint about her employees was. Without hesitating, she replied: "They are all working on the wrong things."

In a time management study, people were asked to name their biggest ‘time vampires.’

Interruptions, meetings, phone calls, and email topped everyone’s list.

But researcher then asked savvy executives the same question. The results were quite different.

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Procrastination, confusing priorities, lack of organization, attempting too much at once, refusing to delegate, involving other people in decisions, and personal activities were at the top.

The truth is, most of your time vampires are inside you.

That’s why to be successful, we don’t manage time - we manage our fears, one task at a time.

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We don’t manage time. We manage our fears, one task at a time.

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Why? Why do we avoid harsh realities at work, when we know full well it’s to our detriment to do so?

To protect our own ego. We all want to think we are Someone Special, a person of extraordinary competence and talent. This, in combination with our stiff upper lip programming, makes us want to avoid anything negative, especially about ourselves.

Because you don't really think it's okay to make mistakes. Sure, you may give lip service that mistakes are normal, but deep down, you're furious at yourself.

If this describes you, what you don't understand is that perfectionists – people who are horrified by mistakes - are not LEARNING.

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We avoid unpleasant realities to protect our ego. We all want to be Someone Special.

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Nathaniel Branden, father of the modern self-esteem movement, explains that consciousness – being willing and able to acknowledge reality at work– is volitional. It’s a choice. In The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Branden explains exactly what it means to face reality at work. You:

Know “where you are” with your goals and projects, including whether you are succeeding or failing

Search for feedback so you can adjust

Try to understand in spite of difficulties

Stay open to new knowledge and learning; examine your assumptions, including reaching out toward relevant facts rather than avoiding them

Confront your impulses to avoid painful realities

Are willing to see and correct mistakes

Avoid tasks that trigger emotions like fear, failure, inadequacy, or insignificance in us.

The bottom line?

Facing reality, including all your fears, is what allows you to persevere and solve your problems all the way through from A to B.

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Facing reality – including your fears – allows you to solve problems all the way through from A to B.

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Stiff Upper Lip Awareness Exercise Write down the top three challenges/problems you are facing at work right now:

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Now, write down all the ways you are either avoiding these problems or taking a “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” towards each. Be very specific. For each one, answering the following questions:

How are you trying not to think about the problem? Avoiding responsibility for it? Pretending it will resolve itself on its own? Trying not to rock the boat? Being fake to another person out of fear of rejection or disapproval or anger? Pretending your results are better than they are? Avoiding your mistakes or negative feedback? Refusing to face your confusion and make a decision?

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What image of yourself are you trying to hold onto by avoiding these facts and emotions?

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How has your refusal to face these fears and problems affected your results, your self-esteem, and your happiness at work?

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Courage Mental Error #2 Giving In To Fears – Learned Helplessness

At work, learned helplessness shows up as evading responsibility for results. Remember, learned helplessness is a giving up response. Since you’ve tried and failed in the past, you conclude that nothing you do will make a difference.

The goal itself matters not. Whether it’s pitching an idea to your boss, getting a promotion or raise, disciplining an employee, or something as menial as getting to work on time, you don’t really believe you can achieve the goal.

Since there is scarcely a man or woman alive who admits to shirking his or her responsibility for getting results, there are two important ways we can recognize our learned helplessness at work: the comfort zone and disowning desires.

The Comfort Zone You've heard of the Comfort Zone?

It's a place we feel comfortable. We have a Comfort Zone in everything: food, work tasks - even driving routes. And especially: the people we associate with.

A few years ago I went to my high school reunion. The first thing I did was have dinner with the most popular guy in school. He was handsome, charming, and yes, captain of the football team.

"Chris, how are you?" I asked him. "Terrible," he replied.

I was really surprised. "What happened to you?"

"I'm going through a traumatic divorce. Not only have I lost the person I love most, but since we cocooned and spent all our time together, I don't have a support system now."

Then Chris brought up the Comfort Zone. His theory? "We find one person who knows all our insecurities. That person becomes our Comfort Zone, so we spend 92% of our time with that person. We don't challenge ourselves to hang with new people or do new things."

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It’s the same at work. The Comfort Zone simplifies your job. You don't need to exert special effort or thought when you're inside your Comfort Zone.

The problem is that the Comfort Zone becomes a habit. Instead of taking 100% responsibility for results and doing whatever it takes to get them, our priority becomes staying inside our comfort zone. That's when the Comfort Zone becomes the enemy of high achievement, fulfillment, and true greatness at work.

How do you know the Comfort Zone is getting you? There are many signs.

One is boredom. Your work feels repetitious and without novelty. Another is restlessness. You wonder, "What's it all mean?" There's a niggling feeling in the back of your mind that you were meant for more. This might be accompanied by envy and bitterness. Deep down, you know that you are not reaching your potential, and you start resenting all the successful, wealthy people who have managed it.

Then there’s inertia. When you think about moving outside the comfort zone, it feels exhausting.

The final one is time poverty, which is feeling overwhelmed. This simply comes from the fact that when you’re evading responsibility for results, you are inevitably working on the wrong things – and so no matter how long you spend, there is never enough time to get your job done effectively.

Even entrepreneurs, who HAVE have to take responsibility for results or find themselves out of business, must defeat the Comfort Zone. In The E-Myth: Why Most Small Business Don’t Work And What To Do About It, Michael Gerber explains that every business reaches a point where it pushes beyond the owner’s Comfort Zone: “Every Adolescent business reaches the point where it pushes beyond the owner’s Comfort Zone – the boundary within which he feels secure in his ability to control his environment, and outside of which he begins to lose control….As the business grows, it invariably exceeds its owner’s ability to control it – to touch, feel, and see the work that needs to be done, and to inspect its progress personally…”

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In the Comfort Zone, our priority is not results. It’s doing what we are comfortable doing.

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Comfort Zone Awareness Exercise Please write down the top five work activities that consume 80% of your time at work:

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Note: if you cannot answer this question, please keep a daily journal cataloguing your time for five days.

Perato was the economist who declared that 20% of your results flow from 80% of your activities. Based on Perato’s law, which 20% of activities give you 80% of your results at work?

List them here:

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Now here’s the kicker. Compare your answers to these two questions. Are you spending most of your time on high value, high priority activities? Or on activities that are inside your personal comfort zone? Write you observations below:

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Disowning Desires The second sign that we have learned helplessness at work is that we are disowning our desires. Rather than stay in touch with our dreams, we actually pretend to ourselves that winning doesn’t matter. “There’s no point in wanting something I can’t have,” we reason.

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Professional musician John Molo sees people disowning their desires all the time. “I recently auditioned a guy for the band. He was really excited. After he auditioned and he didn’t get it, he immediately started with, ‘The money wasn’t any good anyway.’ I just wanted to stop the guy and say, ‘You just didn’t play well enough.'”

I know from long experience that Western culture programs us to be allergic to disappointment. Most of us, once infected with learned helplessness, cannot bear to admit we still want our goal. It makes us feel too vulnerable.

So, we disown our desires. If we want someone's acceptance but can't get it, we claim we ‘don’t care about him.’ If we want money but are broke, we say we ‘don’t need to be rich.’ If we want a promotion but are stalled, we claim we’re ‘sick of the politics’. Here are some actual verbatim quotes from people in my seminar:

“I wonder what it would be like to drive a new car instead of a used one. I’ve never even allowed myself to THINK about buying a brand new one – it seems so frivolous.”

"Retiring early is a pipe dream now. I need to face reality."

"She just doesn't respond to pressure. I'm better off leaving her to set her own deadlines."

“That client is so frustrating; I don’t care what she thinks. I’m just going to email her from now on.”

“My boss told me I didn’t meet his expectations…now I’m so hurt that all I can think about is how cruel he was and when I can quit.”

Disowning desires is rampant in our culture. As Dr. Stephen Covey reminds us in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busy-ness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the latter of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall. People often find themselves achieving victories that are empty, successes that have come at the expense of things they suddenly realize were far more valuable to them. How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and, keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.”

It’s no secret that disowning our desires is a bid to avoid disappointment. This much is obvious. The problem, however, is that trying to avoid disappointment is that it doesn’t work. You can tell yourself all day long that you “don’t care”, but you will never relinquish your desire for success, love, or money.

That is why disowning desires is definitely not for you.

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The problem with downsizing desires is that it doesn’t work. You will never relinquish your desire for success, love, or money.

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Disowning Desires Awareness Exercise Exactly how are you disowning your career and business desires? Are you pretending you don't want a goal that used to be important to you? Thinking small instead of big? Lowering your expectations? Becoming hostile to or avoiding someone whose approval you secretly want? Being passive when you should be assertive?

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Courage Mental Error #3 Suffering Alone With Your Fears - Pride

You recall that courage mental error #3, pride, is the Lone Ranger approach. We stubbornly 'go it alone' even when our methods aren't working. We’ve been heavily indoctrinated to believe we must solve our problems alone. The problem with trying to go it alone at work is that we’ll quickly fall into self-pity.

In The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama relays the story of a woman unable to accept the death of her child. She ran from person to person, seeking medicine to restore him to life.

The Buddha was said to have such a medicine. "I know of a medicine," said the Buddha. "But, to make it, I must have a handful of mustard seed."

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Relieved, the woman promised to procure it for him. As she was leaving, the Buddha said, "I require the mustard seed to be taken from a house where no child, spouse, parent, or servant has died."

The woman agreed and went on her search. At every house the people gave her the seed, but when she asked if anyone had died in that household, she could find no home where death had not visited.

Seeing she was not alone in her grief, the mother let go of her child's body and returned to the Buddha. With great compassion, the Buddha said, "You thought you alone had lost a son; the law of death is that among all living creatures there is no permanence."

Self-pity is a unique form of suffering. It is self-inflicted. We create it by believing we do not deserve to have loss, suffering, or problems.

It’s basically a mental protest. We're grieved about having to deal with this stressor, so we protest it. Our basic mental position is: "This is not fair. I should NOT have to deal with this ridiculous deadline, micro-managing boss, flaky client, etc."

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Self-pity is a protest. “This is NOT fair. I should not have deal with this situation.”

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This mental position happens to you because you are insisting on suffering alone with your problem. You do not realize that work problems are universal, and that every successful person who has come before you has had to solve them in order to win.

Self-pity is the equivalent of emotional quicksand. Once activated, self-pity wants more pain, and will feed off itself. It’s like a bad mood. Once in it, you have no desire to pull yourself out.

How do we know we’ve fallen into self-pity?

Easy. We’re complaining, making excuses, or blaming someone else of our lack of results. We’re refusing to “own” our fear by taking 100% responsibility for the problem is scaring us.

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We know we’ve fallen in self-pity because we’re complaining, making excuses, or blaming.

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Self-Pity Awareness Exercise

1. What excuses are you giving yourself for not taking action?

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2. What complaints do you make on a regular basis? Who are you blaming?

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3. What are you refusing to learn or do because you’re protesting having to deal with this problem?

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Deep Mental Toughness Secret #1 Face Your Fear

While it’s natural to want to avoid stress, this always backfires. As Dale Carnegie writes, “Men do not die from overwork. They die from dissipation and worry because they never seem to get their work done.”

Mastering fear requires you to look it squarely in the eye.

Garry Marshall, producer of some of the most loved TV shows in history (Happy Days, The Odd Couple, Laverne & Shirley, Mork and Mindy) reminds us that facing the truth about ourselves always helps us set down our ego.

At the age of forty-eight, Garry decided he wanted to direct a movie. The problem with is goal was that nobody would give him a movie to direct. In Hollywood, if you’re a successful producer, they want you to keep doing that.

Finally Garry was given a comedy to direct called Young Doctors in Love.

About halfway through the movie, Garry realized he was in over his head. “One day I was feeling way out of my league. A scene was not working and I didn’t know what to do. I told my crew I was going to take a walk.”

It was at this moment that Garry realized just how much his ego was hurting him.

“On that walk I realized something significant: I was not going to be able to show my cast and crew what a great director I was because the reality was that I was not a great director. I was a director with the best intentions, but I was not even a good direct yet.”

Ego set aside, Garry had an epiphany: “The reason the producers hired me to direct the script was because I could make it funny. I went back, told the cameraman to get me the widest lens he had in his truck. I didn’t even know the proper name of the lens yet.

Then we re-shot the scene – only this time, I had actor Gary Friedkin, a little person who was playing a doctor, enter the scene and try to hang up a telephone bolted to the wall while the regular dialogue was going on in the foreground. Gary was too short, so he had to jump and then slide a gurney along the wall to slam-dunk the phone.

The scene proved to be one of the best comedy scenes in the whole movie.”

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Garry went on to become a legend in Hollywood, directing moves such as Pretty Woman, The Flamingo Kid, The Princess Diaries, and Valentine’s Day. But the turning point came when he stopped trying to think of himself as a “great director” and instead viewed himself as what he was back then: a beginner with a gift for comedy.

Your Worst Fear

Please write down your worst fear in career or business, whether it’s failing, being rejected by your peers, betrayal, getting laid off, business going under, etc.

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Your Worst Fear About Yourself

Please write down your worst fear about yourself in career/business whether it’s that you’re dumb, incompetent, inadequate, not good enough, inferior, flaky, inept, etc.:

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Emotional Visualization Select the top challenge you are facing at work right now. Fold your hands over your heart and visualize the mental image of this problem that creates the most fear in you, especially about yourself. Breathe deeply and if the image evokes fear in you, let it be there without resistance. Connect with this fear and let yourself explore it. Do not worry that it is true; if the fact that you bought into the fear traumatizes you, let your sadness over this happen. Now I want you to connect with your personal confidence – your belief that you can solve this problem. Bring forward a visual image that symbolizes success with this situation you. Allow the feeling to grow stronger as an energetic experience. Connect with the feeling as much as possible.

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Declaration

Say the declaration, “My courage lets me heal my fear and become confident and motivated again.”

What To Expect In This Exercise

There are many things that may happen during this exercise. You may feel distracted and unable to focus on the exercise for any length of time. You may feel numb. You may recognize or remember a feeling of confidence, but not be able to connect with it in any depth.

You may connect with your confidence, only to quickly find yourself experiencing other feelings such as anxiety, inadequacy, or insignificance.

You may connect with the feelings of confidence and determination fully, without any other experience. All of these reactions are natural and normal. Write me a few lines on what you experienced during this exercise. What happened to you? What feelings did you have? If you couldn’t summon any feelings, describe what happened to you intellectually by describing your thoughts.

Deep Mental Toughness Secret #2 Create Hope

Instead of giving in to fear and learned helplessness, high achievers use deep mental toughness secret #2, which is:

Create Hope When adversity hits, use your imagination to create hope.

What can you do to create hope? You can live out of your imagination long enough to dream.

How David Foster Seduced Barbara Streisand

Use his imagination is exactly what David Foster did the day he seduced Barbra Streisand into using his ideas on a record.

You may not know this but before he became a big time music producer, Foster was a run-of-the-mill studio musician. A pair of hands hired to play a keyboard.

This can be a very good living for awhile but if you do studio work too long, you can burn out and lose your enthusiasm. People stop valuing you as a musician and instead of moving up the ladder, you start moving back down.

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Foster was worried about this happening to him, and knew he had the talent to be a producer. He just needed that big break. One day he found out he was going to be playing on a record for Barbra Streisand.

The producer was Rupert Holmes, who had a big hit song with Escape or the "Pina Colada Song."

After half a day in the studio Barbra was upset. She just wasn't happy with the song.

Remembers Foster, "I didn't like it, Barbra certainly didn't like it, and she and Rupert went back and forth on how to change it, and I tried to listen to what she was telling him."

Finally they broke for lunch.

Now here is the key moment. Instead of going to lunch like everyone else, Foster stayed behind, trying to play the song the way he thought Barbra wanted it done.

All of sudden he heard, "Hey you! What is that?" said Barbra. She had overheard his musings. Then Foster played her his version, a much simpler one. Barbra called in Rupert to hear it, and they quickly settled on Foster's version – his big break.

Defeat the Comfort Zone By creating hope, we can escape the clutches of the Comfort Zone. Here are three easy exercises for accomplishing this.

1. Your Learned Helplessness A fast way to snap out of Comfort Zone is to recognize that it’s really our learned helplessness controlling us. Here is a straight-forward four step process:

1. Write down the biggest problem you’re facing at work right now – one that, if solved, would give you a massive career and business breakthrough.

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2. What frustrations or failures have you had trying to deal with this stressor in the past? Be extremely detailed in your answer - leave no stone unturned.

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3. Why did you fail?

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4. How are you being passive like the elephants with learned helplessness? What have you given up on achieving? What actions are you not taking out of pessimism?

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2. Eat That Frog Eat That Frog is a time management strategy that was made popular by Brian Tracy, who said: "If you have to eat a frog, it doesn’t pay to look at it all day first.”

Eat That Frog is a spectacular technique for defeating the Comfort Zone. Since you’ve already determined your top priorities using Perato’s 80/20 Rule, your job now is to do it first, no matter how difficult it is. Ideally, finish before 11:00 am each day.

I would like you to use the Eat That Frog strategy each day for the next seven days and record your observations below:

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3. Ritualize Your Top Priority

Although we can’t rid ourselves of the Comfort Zone, we can USE it.

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In his video Wake Up Productive, Eben Pagan suggests that we refuse to put ourselves in a procrastination scenario in the first place, where you make a huge list of priorities and try to pep talk yourself into doing the most important one.

Instead, says Pagan, bring your top priorities into your Comfort Zone. “Start habitua-lizing, or ritual-izing, routine-izing or system-izing the most important things by doing them at the same time every day. When we procrastinate, what we’re doing is resisting doing something different than what we normally do.”

The genius of this method is that you no longer resist your top priorities because you’ve made them second nature.

I would like you to select ONE top priority in your life that, if you executed on it consistently, would give you your biggest breakthrough professionally. Decide what time of day you will do it, and for the next 30 days, do it at the exact same time every day – no matter what. Write your plan for ritualizing it here: Top Priority: _________________________________________________________ Time I Will Work On It Each Day: ________________________________________ Day I Will Start: __________________________________________________________

Re-Claim Your Desire To win at work, you have to CARE about your goals. In fact I’ve been known to say, “Give me ten minutes, and I will predict your career success for the next ten years.” How? By discovering exactly how much you CARE about your career.

In an interview with the world’s best musicians, their commitment to music and learning about it was always the focal point of their lives. One of them, a world class trumpet player, says that he never really did anything he didn’t like to do, and he never liked to study. He lived to practice, though, and in college he practiced even more: 10 hours per day. He remembers, “I was always having to take time off if I had an important concert coming up because I was practicing so much my lips were worn down to a frazzle.”14

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To create hope, you must resurrect your desire. To win, you have to CARE.

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Create a Compelling, Believable Vision The starting point to re-claiming your desire is to create a compelling, believable, winning vision. This is called goal-setting, and it is one of the most effective personal development tools in existence. To be compelling, your goal must make your heart sing. It must reflect Who You Really Are, or your core values. When this happens, your goal is intrinsically motivating - a reward unto itself. Rewards like money, approval, or recognition are the icing; the cake is the goal itself. How to Fill Your Career With Meaning – From Gandhi Himself When Gandhi's brother-in-law fell ill and his wife was not equal to nursing him, Gandhi took him in. Gandhi nursed his brother-in-law until his death, sometimes caring for him straight through the night.

The unusual thing about Gandhi is not that he helped a loved one, or that he enjoyed doing it. It's that he knew WHY nursing made his heart sing. Nursing allowed Gandhi to express the chief value of his soul: compassion for those who suffer. He said: “Service can have no meaning unless one takes pleasure in it. When it is done for show or for fear of public opinion, it stunts the man and crushes his spirit. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy."

Your core value may not be compassion. It might be idealism - the need to contribute to social justice. It might be problem solving - the need to diagnose the cause of a problem and solve it. It might be nurturing - the desire to support and help people.

Whatever it is, you need to figure it out, and the easiest way is to know your values.

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For you to CARE about your goal, it must reflect Who You Really Are -- your core values.

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Who Are You? Exercise What are your values? What do you stand for? What do you life for? What would you die for? Please identify your top seven core values using the following list as a starting point:

Self-Esteem Excellence

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Trust Love Friendship Perseverance Courage Growth/Learning Happiness Achieving Health Acceptance Kindness Honesty Passion Compassion Empathy Fun Success Freedom Security Adventure Power Consciousness (respecting reality) Nurturing Leading/Teaching Intimacy

In the space below, record your top seven values:

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Goal Setting Exercise Select a work challenge that, if you solve it, would create the biggest breakthrough in your career or business. If you could wave a realistic magic wand, what would you accomplish over the next 30 days with respect to this challenge? What milestones would you complete? Conversations would you like to have? Requests you would make? What skill would you master?

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Goal Values Test How does your goal reflect your values and express your soul?

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Deep Mental Toughness Secret #3 Get Superior Technique Instead of living in the illusion that you are the only person with your career or business problem, you can move out of self-pity. Moving out of self-pity is quite easy. You simply drop your mental protest and own the problem. “This problem may not be fair. But I’m going to defeat it anyway.”

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We move out of self-pity by dropping our mental protest. “This problem may not be fair. But I’m going to defeat it anyway.”

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Emotional Visualization: Fold your hands over your heart and visualize your goal (the one you set for yourself for this training) already accomplished.

Declaration: Say the declaration, “I own this problem, and I am going to defeat it. My courage and my goal create my future.” Get Superior Technique Here is a significant fact: to create hope, it’s not enough for you to really, really CARE about the goal and own it. The goal must be believable. This is why high achievers invoke deep mental toughness secret #3, which is:

Get Superior Technique. Your goal will require action, so make sure your technique is superior, and get help.

We need to get help because we CANNOT fix our stressors alone. As Albert Einstein said, "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

Mark the Spot Inner Tennis: Playing the Game tells the story of Ted, a tennis player notorious for hitting the ball outside of the court, decided to attend a private tennis lesson to correct his problem. Instead of correcting his swing, his coach, Tim, took a different approach. “Ted, I suggest that you stop trying to hit the ball inside the court. Instead, let’s play a game called ‘mark the spot’,” Tim said. “Every time you hit the ball outside the court, just tell me how far outside the court it is.”

As they played, Ted called out “two”, “three”, or “five” to indicate how many feet outside the court the ball was landing. Notice that Tim has redefined success: it is not hitting the ball inside the court; it is being a really sharp observer of where the ball is actually landing.

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Tim noticed Ted’s perception was way off, often by six or more feet; what he called ‘zero’ had landed four feet long. Every so often Tim would tap his racquet on the spot where the ball had actually landed and call out the correct number of feet.

Tim expressed no concern about how far out any shot was—he was only interested in the accuracy of Ted’s observations. After about 30 minutes, Ted stopped distorting his depth perception and allowed himself to really see where his balls were landing.

Soon after this he was hitting 80% of his shots within the baseline. By becoming supremely aware of where the ball was landing, Ted was able to naturally self-correct the problem.

The moral of the story? It is difficult to gain awareness alone.

Right now, someone on this earth has the solution to your career or business problem—you just haven’t found it yet. This is the moment to reach out for help, advice, coaching, and education so you can get get superior technique.

Whether you are parenting your 5-year-old, playing the violin, performing heart surgery, selling advertising, or trying to get a date, there is no substitute for superior technique.

Consider Edwin Moses, the most accomplished hurdler in the history of track and field. He won the 400 M hurdles for 10 years. For 10 years, he didn’t lose a race. Primarily it was because he was the only guy in the world who could take 13 steps between hurdles when everyone else was taking 14. He just had superior technique.

Failure-Proof Yourself In Awaken The Giant Within, Anthony Robbins presents a four step method for guaranteed success. He writes, “The truth of the matter is that there’s nothing in life you can’t accomplish IF:

1. You clearly decide what it is that you’re absolutely committed to achieving

2. You are willing to take massive action

3. You notice what’s working or not

4. You continue to change your approach until you achieve your goal

You can put Robbins’ wisdom to work with the following exercise:

1. Earlier in this lesson, you speculated about why you failed to achieve your career/business goal in the past. What do you need to learn to defeat your challenge and succeed in your goal?

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2. Who can help you reach your goal? (Include resources).

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3. What’s your worst case scenario if you don't achieve your goal the first time? How could you do damage control by noticing what is working and what is not working and come back?

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Yet what is the best way to failure-proof yourself? Good, old-fashioned friendship! A few years ago a researcher at Dominican University did a study on goal-setting with 149 participants. They were divided into five groups:

1. Group 1 was asked to think about goals.

2. Group 2 were asked to write down their goals.

3. Group 3 was asked to write down goals and make action commitments.

4. Group 4 was asked to write down goals, make action commitments, and send them to a

friend.

5. Group 5 was asked to write down goals, make action commitments, and send weekly

progress reports to a friend.

At the end of 30 days, participants were asked to rate their progress. The results? Group 5 achieved significantly more than all the other groups. (Source: http://sidsavara.com/personal-productivity/fact-or-fiction-the-truth-about-the-harvard-written-goal-study).

Write down three possible friends who might be willing to give you support in your goal:

http://sidsavara.com/personal-productivity/fact-or-fiction-the-truth-about-the-harvard-written-goal-study

http://sidsavara.com/personal-productivity/fact-or-fiction-the-truth-about-the-harvard-written-goal-study

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“I Was Filled With Pride.”

I have a letter from Karen T. in Alberta, Canada, who was at her wits’ end about her new sales job. Karen was overwhelmed, working days that never ended but getting nowhere. She felt inefficient, ineffective and stagnated. Then Karen and I talked:

Lisa: "‘What would it take to be really successful?’

Karen: 'Learning the products, getting people to sample them, and asking for the sale.'

Lisa: ‘How hard have you tried to learn the products so far?’

Karen: 'Truth is, overwhelm had set in and I really hadn't tried all that much at all!'

Lisa: ‘Learn the products, seek out mentors, and always ask for the sale.’

Karen: 'It felt scary and I really wasn't sure I could, but I went ahead at her suggestion.

It was a long, hard month. I was exhausted. Would the end of the month ever come? I studied at least 2-3 hours a night on top of my long day at work. I ONLY checked email in the mornings and headed into the field by 10 am. I did my expenses WEEKLY instead of monthly, so that I could keep up with them. That way, I could be in the field all week.

I used company trainers to guide me in the right direction. I picked the brains of colleagues about what selling to certain clients, and what products to focus on. I booked sampling meetings as often as possible. I slowed down on visits to those account that were not keen on our products, and focused on those that welcomed me. I used any connections I could think of to create new clients.

Suddenly, it was the end of the month. And suddenly, success was flowing in. I was rewarded by being given the territory that I really wanted!

Then the Boss sent me an email, saying that on that particular day, I had "more wins that day than he had seen by any rep in any territory". Then I received a note from the Vice President of Canadian Operations himself that said, 'Fantastic job! Keep up the great work!' I was filled with pride.'"

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Emotional Visualization: Fold your hands over your heart and visualize your goal (the one you set for yourself for this training) already accomplished.

Declaration:

Say the declaration, “My courage creates my goal and my future.”

Documents

The Courage to Win ADVANCED 30 Day Training Program