How to Be Seated at a Restaurant 1. Upon entering a restaurant, the gentleman announces himself to the

host or hostess.2. When the table is ready, the host or hostess leads the way to the table,

followed directly by the lady. The gentleman walks closely behind the lady.

3. If there is no host, the gentleman leads the way to the table, and the lady follows.

4. Follow the steps below for being seated at the table. 5. When leaving the restaurant, the gentleman rises first, places his chair

under the table, and helps the lady out of her seat by gently pulling it as she stands.

6. The lady rises from the right side of her chair, and the gentleman places her chair back under the table.7. The lady walks ahead of the gentleman to the door and waits for him to help her with her coat (if the weather applies).8. The gentleman opens the door to exit.

The Cotillion ReviewSEASON TWO - CLASS THREE CAREYSUEVEGA.COM

GENERAL TABLE SEATING REVIEW1. The gentleman pulls the chair out for the lady, and she sits down from the right and places both hands gently on both

sides of the chair. 2. The lady shifts her weight slightly to the front to allow the gentleman to be able to glide her chair easily under the table.3. The gentleman takes the chair to the ladies left and enters it from the left side.

IN THIS ISSUE:

•How to Be Seated at a Restaurant

•Characteristics of Noble Character

•Dress Code

•How to Tie a Tie

•Disability Etiquette

•Challenge Assignment

Characteristics of Noble CharacterClass Three:1. Integrity - Persons with integrity are principled, honorable, and upright: they are courageous and act on convictions;

they will stand by their beliefs and will not adopt an “end justifies the means” philosophy that ignores principles or be expedient at the expense of principle, be two faced or unscrupulous.

2. Citizenship- In a democracy, responsible citizenship is an ethical obligation; it involves abiding by laws and rules of society, participation by voting, social consciousness and public service, and avoiding unnecessary secrecy or concealment of information for public good.

Disability EtiquetteHow to interact with people who have disabilities Don't let fear keep you from getting to know people who have a disability.

Remember: a person with a disability is a person with feelings. Treat him or

her with the same respect you wish to be treated.

You cannot always see a disability. If a person acts unusual or seems

different, just be yourself. Let common sense and friendship break down any

barriers you may encounter.

When talking with a person who has a disability...•A handshake is NOT a standard greeting for everyone. When in doubt, ASK the person whether he or she would like to shake hands with you. A smile along with a spoken greeting is always appropriate.

•Speak directly to the person with a disability, not just to the ones accompanying him or her.

•Don't mention the person's disability, unless he or she talks about it or it is relevant to the conversation.

•Treat people as people. Don't patronize or talk down to people with disabilities. •Be patient and give your undivided attention - especially with someone who speaks slowly or with great effort.

•Never pretend to understand what a person is saying. Ask the person to repeat or rephrase, or offer him or her pen and paper.

•It is okay to use common expressions like "see you soon" or "I'd better be running along."

•Relax. Anyone can make mistakes. Offer an apology if you forget some courtesy.

Talking with a person who is deaf or uses a hearing aid...•Let the person take the lead in establishing the communication mode, such as lip-reading, sign language, or writing notes.

•Talk directly to the person, even when a sign language interpreter is present. •If the person lip-reads, face him or her directly, speak clearly and with a moderate pace.

•With some people, it may help to simplify your sentences and use more facial expressions and body language.

When meeting a person with a disability that affects their speech...• Pay attention, be patient, and wait for the person to complete a word or thought. Do

not finish it for the person. • Ask the person to repeat what is said if you do not understand. • Be prepared for various devices or techniques used to augment speech.

Interacting with a person who is blind or has a disability affecting sight or vision...• When greeting the person, identify yourself and introduce others who may be present. • Don't leave the person without excusing yourself first. • When asked to guide someone with a sight disability, never push or pull the person.

Allow him or her to take your arm then walk slightly ahead. As you enter a room with the person, describe the layout and location of furniture, etc.

• Be specific when describing the location of objects. (Example: "There is a chair three feet from you at eleven o'clock.")

• Don't pet or distract a guide dog. The dog is responsible for its owner's safety and is always working. It is not a pet.

When you are with a person who uses a wheelchair...• Do not push, lean on, or hold

onto a person's wheelchair unless the person asks you to. The wheelchair is part of his or her personal space.

• Try to put yourself at eye level when talking with someone in a wheelchair. Sit or kneel in front of the person.

• Rearrange furniture or objects to accommodate a wheelchair before the person arrives.

Basic Points of

Disability Etiquette• Don’t stare. Staring is

disrespectful and makes people feel uneasy.

• Avoid asking personal questions about some one's disability. If you must ask, be sensitive and show respect.

• Be considerate of the extra time it might take for a person with a disability to do or say something.

• Be polite and patient when offering assistance, and wait until your offer is accepted. Listen or ask for specific instructions.

• Refer to a person's disability only when necessary and appropriate.

• Use people first language - refer to the individual first, then to his or her disability. It is better to say "the person with a disability," rather than "the disabled person." Other examples of people first language are: Uses a wheelchair; has cerebral palsy (CP) or other condition; person with Down syndrome; person with Autism; person with a mental or emotional disorder.

SEASON TWO - CLASS THREE PAGE 2 CAREYSUEVEGA.COM

SEASON TWO - CLASS THREE PAGE 3 CAREYSUEVEGA.COM

DRESS CODE“Appropriateness” and “Neatness” are the words to keep in mind whether you are dressing for school, sports, church, or any other occasion. Conservative clothing is both professional and functional. You will never have another chance to

make a “first” impression, so it’s important to know “what” clothes to wear to “where.” By using these guidelines you will always look your best!

COMFORTABLE CASUAL Nice jeans and classic shorts can be worn by both ladies and gentlemen. Sundresses, slacks, and casual skirts are appropriate for the ladies, and long or short trousers, worn with oxford or polo-type pullover shirts, for the gentlemen. You can add sweaters for a more classic look.

DRESSY CASUAL Dressy shorts, skirts, or a simple sundress are worn by the ladies. Gentlemen should wear long trousers with dress shirts. Jackets or sweaters can be worn over shirts. (Ties are optional)

INFORMAL Ladies should wear a nice Sunday dress. Gentlemen should wear dress slacks, dress shirts, and although they may not wear it continuously, they should take a sportscoat or a blazer. Suits may also be worn by the gentlemen.SEMI-FORMAL Ladies should wear a long or short party dress. Before six o’clock, the gentlemen should wear a dark

suit and tie. After six o’clock gentlemen may wear a dark suit and tie or a tuxedo.FORMAL Before six o’clock, ladies wear a short or tea-length late afternoon dress. Gentlemen should wear a dark suit

and tie. After six o’clock, formal dress is either “Black Tie” or “White Tie”. The term “Formal Wear” is preferred to “Tuxedo”.BLACK TIE Gentlemen must wear a tuxedo and ladies can wear a tea-length or long dinner dress or evening

separates. If the dress is strapless or extremely bare, it should be worn with a matching jacket. WHITE TIE Gentlemen should wear a long black tailcoat with satin lapels and matching trousers with a narrow braid

strip, starched white shirt with a bib and french cuffs worn with studs and cufflinks. Ladies would wear a ball gown. Long (above the elbow) white gloves would be worn with sleeveless gowns.

HOW TO TIE A TIE Four-in-hand Knot

Follow the guidelines to the left as you read the instructions.1. Hang the tie around your neck so that the wide end is

on your right, hanging about a foot longer than the

narrow end.

2. Wrap the long (wide) end around the short (narrow)

end, going over the front, ending on the right side with

the back side showing.

3. Cross the long (wide) end over the top of the narrow

end, ending on the left.

4. Bring the long end up the back, through the loop.

5. Tuck the long (wide) end down through the front of the

loop.

6. Pull down on the short end and push the knot up.

SEASON TWO - CLASS THREE PAGE 4 CAREYSUEVEGA.COM

Gloves1. Gentlemen's gloves, when worn for outdoor weather, are usually gray and

constructed of a fine, soft leather. Black is also an acceptable color for gentlemen. An outdoor glove should be removed when being introduced to someone and should be removed upon entering a building. If for some reason the glove cannot be removed upon an introduction, it is appropriate to excuse your glove to the other person. Gentlemen should also remove their outdoor gloves in church.

2. White gloves are sometimes worn by gentlemen for formal affairs. If so, they are to be left on when on the dance floor and are not removed even when being introduced to a lady or gentleman on the dance floor. These gloves should, however, be removed for eating, drinking punch, and dining at these affairs.

3. Ladies' outdoor gloves are constructed of a variety of colors, styles, and fabrics, but the best investment will be a neutral color of gray, black, or tan to coordinate with the coat the lady is wearing. A lady should remove her gloves when being introduced to someone indoors, but outdoors she may leave her gloves on. She should, however, remove her gloves anywhere for a dignitary.

4. Ladies may wear day gloves of varying styles, colors, and fabrics, but they should be removed for church communion.

5. Ladies may wear white gloves rising halfway up the upper arm for formal wear, but they should be removed for eating, drinking punch, and dining at the functions. Bracelets may be worn over gloves at these functions, but rings may not.

6. Gloves should be left on when passing through or participating in a receiving line, unless of course you are meeting a political or religious dignitary, in which case the right glove should be removed.

HatsHats can be used to show respect and to complete an outfit. The etiquette of hat-wearing is as follows:

1. Gentlemen are permitted to leave their hats on out of doors for daily wear or for formal occasions, for ball games, and in the lobby of buildings.

2. Gentlemen should remove their hats when they stop out of doors to converse with a lady in a plane, subway or bus, in a theater or restaurant, for the national anthem, for a funeral procession, at weddings, teas, and in church, in an elevator (if space permits), and, of course, upon entering someone's home.

3. Gentlemen are expected to lift their hats (including ball caps) when passing a gentleman acquaintance to politely acknowledge them, by either lifting a stiff-brimmed hat by the brim or a soft-brimmed hat by the crown. Further, gentlemen should tip their

hats when passing a lady on the street with whom they do not stop and converse.

4. Ladies may wear hats indoors on most occasions. Certainly a lady may wear a hat when visiting a friend at home, at church, in a restaurant, at a wedding or for tea, and even in a theater. If wearing a hat in a theater, a lady should use thought in determining if her headpiece will prohibit those around her from viewing the stage. Hats can be a colorful addition for daytime and formal affairs. Ladies should not wear a hat after dark, unless it is are part of a uniform.

SEASON TWO - CLASS THREE PAGE 5 CAREYSUEVEGA.COM

The History of the NecktieMen’s neck garments have been worn for hundreds of years beginning with scarves and fancy collars. Gentlemen of society wore these garments for dinner, Cotillion Balls, and even for everyday attire. The necktie came about many, many years later in England. They were first made in the 1920s for George Windsor, or George V, King of England. His son, Edward VIII, was the Duke of Windsor and was regarded as a fashion plate. His wearing of ties made them an instant success and the custom of wearing ties became an everyday occurrence. The duke’s tailors invented the narrow-in-the middle tie, a shape which helped form the triangular knot.

Ties Though women are now wearing ties, the information stated here will be geared toward gentlemen.

1. Always use good taste when combining print ties with striped shirts and/or plaid suits and coats. Ties can add color and variety to a gentleman's wardrobe.

2. The best investment ties are classic in color and texture and are about 3.25 inches in width. The knots used should leave an appropriate space between the tie and the collar and will vary depending upon the texture of the tie and the knot chosen. The most popular knot now used is the four-in-hand

which with all fabrics will lend a sleek knot when tied. Using a windsor knot with heavy weight ties usually results in a knot that is too bulky and less attractive than the four-in-hand.

3. The tie should have a center dimple when tied and should stand out from the shirt just a bit. The tie should hang to the waistband of the pants, not above or below it. The two ends of the tie should either meet or the back should be just shorter than the displayed end.

4. Bow ties should always be hand tied. If a pre-tied bow tie must be worn, be sure it is worn with a turndown collar shirt to avoid exposing the mechanics of the hook.

5. Ties should never be stored knotted. This can destroy the fabric and ultimately the way the tie will hang when worn. Ties may be rolled to remove the creases, and all but knit ties should be stored hanging; knit ties should be stored flat.

6. The most formal ties are white bow ties worn with white, pleated front wing collar shirts and white waistcoats (a waistcoat is a vest worn with formal wear.). Black bow ties are worn for semi-formal occasions and are worn with pleated front point collar shirts and cummerbunds. Printed bow ties are acceptable with matching or coordinating cummerbunds, but the most acceptable variations should still be only black and white. They are followed in formality by ties made of silk in navy with small white and gray dots or other small, usually geometric, shapes, then red and yellow silks, also with small shapes of a variety of colors and designs.

7. Ties representing various sports activities, such as those with fish, horses, golf clubs, baseballs, polo players, etc., are in the less formal category and the fabrics determine when they should be worn. Heavier weight ties in darker colors such as burgundy and navy with these designs should be worn only in cold months, whereas lighter weight ties in colors such as yellow, pale blue, green, and pink should be worn in warmer months. These ties are most acceptable with sports jackets and should indicate a sport or hobby of which the wearer is particularly fond.

8. The least formal ties worn are either cotton with small prints, worn in warm months, or knitted or wool ties worn in cold months. These, too, are designed to be worn with sports jackets.

Handkerchiefs1. Handkerchiefs are most proper when they are white and constructed of either fine cotton or

linen. If they are initialed, a gentleman should use the first initial of his last name and a lady should use the first initial of her first name. The stitching, if colored, should coordinate with the outfit one is wearing.

2. The handkerchief may be displayed in the breast pocket of a gentleman's suit and should be tucked in with point ends showing. If colored handkerchiefs are chosen, they should coordinate with the predominant color of the outfit. Colored handkerchiefs are not designed to be used, but if they are, do not return them to the breast pocket. It is best, when wearing a colored handkerchief, to have a fresh, white handkerchief in the pants pocket of the suit for its intended use.

3. Never offer a used handkerchief to anyone.

CHALLENGE ASSIGNMENTSeason Two - Class Three

______________________________Name:

Assignment A: Seat someone or be seated properly at a restaurant or other public place a minimum of five times.

Signatures:

____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

__________________________________________ _____________________________________________

Assignment B: List four of the “Basic Points of Disability Etiquette”.

__________________________________________ _____________________________________________

__________________________________________ _____________________________________________

Assignment C: Write an essay about “What Junior Cotillion Means to Me”. The student with the winning essay will receive a half-price scholarship for his or her next Cotillion session. Deadline for contest consideration is December 10. Please email to: CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Assignment D: Memorize and practice Characteristics of a Noble Character for class three.Signature:

__________________________________________

Assignment E: Practice “Tying a Tie” (both ladies and gentlemen).

__________________________________________ _____________________________________________

Parents, please print this Challenge Assignment for your child to work on before the next class. Working on this Assignment with your child gives you an opportunity to review, reinforce, and help implement what we are teaching in class.Students who complete their Challenge Assignment, and turn it in at the next class, will be eligible for prizes. The prizes will be awarded at the end of each class for various activities such as: participation, quizzes, contests, and challenge assignments. Completion of the Challenge Assignment does not guarantee a prize.

We encourage students to obtain a variety of signatures for their various assignments.

Next Class: Please remember to bring your Challenge Assignment