www.thecollegetribune.net

UCD downgraded in world rankingsl UCD drops 25 places in World University Rankings

l Brady: “Irish universities are cash starved”

UCD has lost it’s position in the top 100 Universities in the world according to the QS World University Rankings. UCD fell from 89th to 114th whilst Trin-ity College Dublin dropped from 43rd to 52nd. The fall in rank reverses trends which have seen UCD climb the ladder since it stood at 221st five years ago.The prestigious QS rankings are regarded as the most reliable guide to university performance with more than 2,000 uni-versities surveyed. Criteria include staff-student ratios, employer review, academ-

ic peer review, citations per faculty and international student ratio.UCD’s loss of rank was published as a report by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) was released.

The OECD report highlights depleted levels of investment by the government in the Irish education system. According to the report, Ireland spent less on edu-cation as a percentage of Gross Domestic Product (GDP) than the other 29 coun-tries reviewed. Ireland spent only 1.2% of the GDP on higher education, less than the OECD av-

erage of 1.5%. Moreover, the report was compiled using data from 2007 and does not reflect the recent spending cuts to the education sector.Dr. Hugh Brady, UCD president, said that the downward movement of UCD in the QS rankings was not surprising. “While Irish universities are cash starved, other countries are investing solidly in their third and fourth-level sectors,” he com-mented.

Ciara Murphy

The College TribuneSeptember 14th 2010 The Difference is we’re independent Issue 1 Volume 24

Black Monday begins in earnest

Confusion reigns as UCD leaves students homeless

Students arriving back to UCD were met with confusion over accommodation ar-rangements this week. Misinformation triggered large queues on the day that students were due to move into their campus accommodation. Consequently, many students were left to seek alternative accommodation, some through international embassies. Furthermore, some students missed ac-commodation places while others unfair-ly gained residence. The online accom-modation booking system and the UCD Accommodation Office failed to enforce UCD accommodations first come, first serve service.Students were scheduled to get their UCD student cards on Monday 6th Sep-tember, while they were also due to enter their respective residencies. A select amount of on-campus residen-cies require a student card to enter the rooms. It was unclear to students which residencies needed student cards for ac-cess. Consequently, long queues formed as stu-dents sought cards. Facilities were not in place to deal with the amount of students who queued causing back log. Many stu-dents did not receive cards and thus did not receive accommodation.Students who had banked on receiving residency on the same day they arrived to UCD were left to seek alternative ac-commodation. The large queues and failing system meant that seven interna-

tional students who arrived at 5.30pm on Monday evening missed collecting their student cards. “They were pretty much left homeless upon arrival. Thankfully, we were in touch with officials from the Malaysian Embassy who managed to put them up for a night at Malaysia Hall,” stated Deen-ish Muniandy, a Malaysian orientation guide.“Students are asked to bring a current student card when presenting for check in to their residence. Unfortunately, this year many students presented for accom-modation without current student cards. Arrangements were in place for those students to present themselves at points of student card issue to receive their stu-dent cards before check in. This caused an inconvenience for these students, espe-cially on Monday which was the busiest day,” commented Richard Brierley, Man-ager of Residential Services.Further problems had arisen on Wednes-day the 16th of June as continuing stu-dents initially tried to book accommoda-tion. A second year continuing student told the College Tribune about his expe-rience. “On Tuesday afternoon I rang the UCD Residence office and was told that Resi-dence booking would go live on the SIS at 9.30am the following morning with almost 300 spaces to be made available to continuing students.”

l Embassy forced to seek accommodation for UCD students l No student card, no moving in

Amy Walsh

Queues outside the bar at midday as UCD gears up for another eventful first day of term Photo by Lorraine Foy

The Siren meets the Saw DoctorsThe Siren p6-7

FeaturesFreshers GuidePages 8-13

Continued on page 2

Continued on page 2

2 News

Returning Students left without accommodationl Continued from front page

“I went online in plenty of time on Wednesday morning at 9.00am. However I found that the booking process had al-ready been opened and there were only 90 spaces remaining, all in catered accom-modation.”Furthermore, students speaking with staff at the UCD Residence Office were told that places which had been allocated to final year students had been accidently made available to a select amount of con-

tinuing students, giving them more choice in terms of accommodation.In light of this, staff from the UCD Ac-commodation Office took a select num-ber of student numbers and remedied the situation by making all rooms on campus available to these particular students, ac-cording to students involved.Paul Lynam, UCD SU President said, “This failure of the system has severely impacted students and is completely un-acceptable. The decision to scrap the sys-tem of allocating students related to their year of study was sheer madness and is now having a seriously negative impact on

students.”Scott Ahearn, UCD SU Welfare Officer commented, “UCD must recognise the flaws in the current system and take im-mediate steps to ensure this does not oc-cur again. Releasing rooms to students ahead of the specified time has caused chaos.“UCD residences must end this pot luck system and ensure next year’s online booking system is handled much more efficiently and actually serves the needs of students. The college is placing profit before the needs and welfare of UCD Stu-dents. Once we were made aware of the

situation we called an emergency meeting with the head of UCD Residence.”In light of the situation, the SU wants to change the current date of accommoda-tion booking. This year’s date was June 16th. “This is right in the middle of the leaving cert exams when students have a lot on their mind. We are calling on UCD Residences to move this to July 1st”, com-mented Ahearn. Moreover, students who had booked Roe-buck residencies had to find accommoda-tion elsewhere. “A number of students who booked rooms at Roebuck Hall from the 27th September presented early to res-

idential services. Unfortunately, these stu-dents had to seek alternative accommoda-tion until the rooms became available on the 27th September and where possible we provided assistance to help them make alternative arrangements,” stated Richard Brierley, Manager of Residential Services. “UCD Residences would like to thank residents for their understanding and sin-cerely apologise for any delays and incon-veniences experienced by students while they were waiting to check into their ac-commodation,” he added.

Amy Walsh

Paul Lynam, UCD’s SU President, commented on the findings, “The Government is playing a risky game with the lives of thousands of young people and it is a game with only one loser – the students. The Government is living in dream-land if they think they can achieve economic recovery while simultaneously cutting funding to third level education.”Dr. Brady held the deterioration in the staff-student ratio and competition from overseas universities responsible for UCD’s drop in the rankings. He added that it was important to re-member that UCD is still ranked inside the top 5% of the world’s leading universities. UCD Students’ Union has warned that the quality of education in Irish universities faces a grave future if the government continues to

underfund its third level institutions. Paul Lynam accused the government of paying lip service to the concerns of third level stu-dents. “The Government underfunded the edu-cation system during the so called “boom years” of the Celtic Tiger and they are continuing with the same philosophy.” Elsewhere, the University of Cambridge won first place, the only non–American college to ever top the ranks. John O’ Leary, an executive member of the QS Academic Advisory Board, pointed out that three Irish universities had made the top 200 and that overall this was a positive set of results on a European scale. Furthermore, UCC, NUI Galway, NUI Maynooth and DCU, all climbed up the QS rankings.

UCD drops out of the top 100l Continued from front page

Ciara Murphy

Deenish Muniandy (picture), a Malaysian orientation guide, experienced problems when trying to help arriving students

A History Of QS University Rank-ings

Year UCD TCD2010 114 522009 89 432008 108 492007 177 532006 219 782005 221 111

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4 NewsNews in brief

SU Pays Students To Police Campus A Students’ Union are currently re-cruiting students to work as uniformed officers who will police campus.Galway – Mayo Institute of Technol-ogy’s SU (GMIT) are prepared to pay students to patrol the college at night in an effort to reverse anti – social be-haviour trends.The SU at GMIT will begin recruiting next week. The unit will patrol estates on campus and provide a hotline for residents with complaints.The patrol officers role will be to re-cord the incident, the noise level and will request that the offending party desist. They will not have the power to enter houses or confront perpetrators of anti – social behaviour.The reports written up by the unit will be sent to the college’s disciplinary committee who can suspend, fine or expel students involved.

UCD Freshers’ Ball Sold Out

The UCD Freshers’ Ball has Sold out in record time.The ball’s main attraction is Tinie Tem-pah. Other acts include Frank Jez & DJ Tandoo, The Shoos, Propaganda DJs, Spin 1038 DJs and I-Rate Soundsys-tem.Jonny Cosgrove, SU ENTS officer said, “This is the quickest selling event in many years and probably one of the fastest ever. This year marks the 40th anniversary of the Freshers’ Ball and we are putting on an event that will make this year, the biggest and best ball yet.”Tickets for the ball cost €18. Last year’s tickets were €3 cheaper. This year Trin-ity College Dublin are offering four fresher’s parties at the cost of €25 as part of their Freshers’ week festival. Paul Lynam, UCD SU President said, “We knew this event had the potential to be a massive success and the hard work of our ENTS officer Jonny Cos-grove has paid off.”UCD Freshers’ Ball takes place on Fri-day, September 24th in The Academy.

New SU Loyalty Card

UCD Students’ Union are introducing a new loyalty card for students in the coming weeks. “This will transform your student card and make shopping at SU outlets ex-citing and rewarding. It’s our way of rewarding students for shopping at SU outlets and attending SU events. It’s an innovative programme and I’m proud to be able to bring it to UCD.“Throughout the year, students will be offered a huge range of rewards. The special SU loyalty scheme is free to use and entitles you to earn points on pur-chases in SU outlets,” said Paul Lynam, UCD SU President. Students who avail for the scheme could win a SU ENTS gold card, while entitles holders to free entry into all SU ENTS events for the year.

Students are finding it difficult to acquire student loans of even a few thousand euros.Banks are charging interest rates as high as 14.3% impacting college students who are already un-der financial pressure.A student loan of €3,000 with Ulster Bank to be repaid within a year will be charged an interest rate of 14.3%. This compares to Bank of Ireland and AIB who offer rates of 11.9% and 9.45% re-spectively, while Credit Unions provide student loans with 5.5% interest.Institutions may require parents to sign as a guarantor. “A lot of students have to get their parents to go guarantor for them but the diffi-culty is a lot of parents have seen their wages fall or are now unemployed,” said Gary Redmond, current President of the Union of Students in Ireland (USI).Redmond highlighted the situation students are finding themselves in this year as students are paying €1,500 for the student services charge as well as separate college levies of about €150. Further additional costs include rent, books and travel expenses.

“Students are finding it more difficult to get loans because the banks are not as willing to lend as they were in the past,” he added.Redmond warned that students should not take out loans on the expectation of finding a part-time job.“It used to be the case that students didn’t have to take out as many loans as they were able to work part-time or over the summer and save up. We’re seeing a huge problem now because stu-dents can’t find part-time jobs.”Redmond, last year’s UCD SU President, also added that the delay in students getting their grants was feeding the problem. Last year the student grant was due in Octo-ber but many students didn’t see the money till March or April, meaning some students waited as long as seven months for student grants.“The VECs (Vocational Education Committees) have reduced staff numbers because of the re-cruitment embargo and they are dealing with a much higher volumes of applications, so it looks like it will be even worse this year,” he added.The USI has recently found that there was an 18% increase in the number of students applying for grants between 2008 and 2009.

Student loans diffi-cult to secure

l 14.3% Interest Rate On Student Loansl 18% Increase In The Number Of Stu-dents Applying For Grants Last Year

Amy Walsh

UCD students can now avail of a more cost ef-ficient healthcare plan on campus. The new plan offers students up to four visits to a doctor, two visits to a nurse and two visits to a psychiatrist annually. The cost of the plan is €40 and could save UCD students €160 per year compared to year.Last semester in the Student Health Centre, the standard doctor’s fee was €25, a visit to the nurse was €10 and a consultation with a psychiatrist was €40. These charges are still in place for students who do not sign up to the new health care plan. Paul Lynam, UCD SU President, said “I am opposed to pay-per-use healthcare in UCD. I have always believed that healthcare for stu-dents should be paid from the student services charge. This scheme is a step in the right direc-

tion and I believe it has the potential to save students hit by illness a considerable amount of money. UCD SU has worked hard to deliver this scheme for students and it’s a major step forward for student healthcare in UCD.”Scott Ahearn, UCD SU Welfare Officer, added “Students already face the huge financial bur-den of going to college and this scheme will relieve some of the pressure and allay their concerns regarding healthcare. Each year, I see many students who are struggling to cope with the demands of medical costs and I expect this scheme to offer an excellent alternative to pay-per-use.”UCD is subsidising the payment by five euro per student reducing the cost of the scheme to €40.Students can receive more information or sign up for the scheme at designated points around campus including the Arts block, Quinn School of Business and the Science block.

Quinn Healthcare pack-age could save UCD Stu-

dents €160 annually

l Cost of plan €40l Charges are still in place for stu-dents who do not sign up

Amy Walsh

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6 News

The Road Safety Authority (RSA) has recently re-leased nine measures which will completely change the way people learn to drive. The measures include twelve hours of mandatory driving lessons which must be completed before learners can sit their driving tests.Further changes include the introduction of “R” plates, an overhaul of both the theory and driving test and increased penalty points for novice drivers.Under the proposals, once the driving test is passed, new drivers will face a system which sees their driv-ing restricted for the first two years of their license.From April 4th 2011, new drivers will have to com-plete twelve hours of mandatory driving lessons with an approved instructor before they can sit their driving test. These mandatory lessons are referred to as “Initial basic training” and will not be subsidised. “There are over 1800 Approved Driving Instruc-tors countrywide at present who will be delivering the learner driver basic training. The RSA expects that this will provide adequate competition in the market and serve to ensure that learner drivers have adequate choice in terms of price and quality,” said a spokesperson for the RSA.

Furthermore new drivers must keep a log book, which is to be signed by their approved driving in-structor and an accompanying driver. The measure relating to accompanying drivers has not been fi-nalised and is not reinforced by any new legislation at present.New drivers with full licences must display an R (re-stricted) plate on their cars for two years to draw attention to the restrictions that are placed on them. During this period they will also undertake a new hazard perception test.Both learner and restricted drivers will have a lower drink driving limit, 20mg. This is less than the cur-rent drink driving limit for drivers, which is 80mg. Penalty points for particular offenses will increase for learner and restricted drivers. For offences such as speeding, non–seatbelt wearing and mobile phone use, penalty points will be doubled. This will pose a real threat of disqualification for new drivers.Both the theory test and the driving test will be changed. The driving test will be adapted to incor-porate an externally accredited driving test formula. This is to come into effect in late 2011. The mandatory lessons are increased to sixteen hours for those applying for a motorbike license. This comes into effect on December 6th 2010.These rules only apply to those who apply for their first license after legislation is passed and these mea-sures come into effect.

Learner drivers face new regulations

l New two year restricted period for novice drivers

l Twelve mandatory driving lessons to be introduced

for learner drivers

Amy Walsh

UCD scientists have made history by deter-mining the exact genetic makeup of an Irish person for the first time.The team, led by Professor Brendan Loftus, have taken the DNA of an anonymous man with three generations of Irish ancestry. The man’s DNA was said to represent variation typical of the island of Ireland.The landmark study has already yielded some important results.“By adding these Irish DNA variants to inter-national DNA databases, which currently lack an Irish representative, scientists can start to identify why Irish people are more susceptible to certain diseases,” said Brendan Loftus, Pro-fessor of comparative genomics.A variation in the sequence that disrupts a gene associated with inflammatory bowel diseases, a condition which affects 15,000 Irish people, has been discovered. Researchers hope that the results may also help them to understand why Irish people are more susceptible to other dis-eases like cystic fibrosis.“We have a better chance of understanding dis-ease biology and susceptibility if we can strat-

ify different populations on the basis of their genes,” said Professor Loftus.The study compared an Irish genome to a refer-ence genome. The results found three million genetic variants in the Irish genome, 13% of which had not been seen before in other popu-lation groups. Professor Loftus said the research will result in important advances in the understanding of the history of the population here. “Having an Irish genome is important because essentially genes mirror geography in many parts. We are distinct from other Europeans and have our own genetic structure”, he added.The first complete sequence of human DNA was reported in the United States in 2003 at a cost of $2.7 billion after thirteen years of re-search. Using advanced sequencing technology, it took the Conway institute team under thirteen months to sequence the first complete Irish ge-nome. The cost of the research was €30,000. The sci-entific analyses was funded by Science Founda-tion Ireland and conducted with collaboration from other universities and institutions.

UCD scientists first to uncover

Irish genetic code

Donie O’ Sullivan

7 14.09.10The College Tribunewww.thecollegetribune.net

College authorities have awarded an exclusivity deal to certain drinks companies which means Coca-Cola cannot be sold on campus. This decision undermines the ref-erendum held last year which over-turned the coke boycott. UCD authorities awarded the deal after a drinks company secured the contract through an open and trans-parent bidding process. Commercial contracts such as this are an attrac-tive option for colleges looking for funding. The Students’ Union are supporting the colleges decision not to sell Co-ca-Cola on campus. “In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have to make such decisions but we must be realistic and explore decisions that offer more funding for UCD and it’s students,” said Gary Fox, Media and Communications Officer for the SU.The Controversial Referendum to overturn the Coke ban was held last year.The referendum asked students the following question. “Do you wish the Students’ Union to lift its existing boycott of Coca-Cola products, thus allowing the Students’ Union to sell Coca-Cola products in its shops and be in a position to accept sponsor-ship from the Coca-Cola company?”The referendum saw 52% of the stu-dent electorate supporting the sale of the beverage on campus, narrowly defeating the opposing 48%. Coca-Cola and it’s affiliated products such as Sprite should have been sold as soon as was feasible.The referendum challenged the Students’ Union policy to boycott Coca-Cola, which dated from 2003. The original ban was introduced in light of claims that Coca-Cola was involved in the murders of nine of its workers in Colombia. UCD was the first institution in the world to set the trend in banning Coca-Cola products in respect of the controversial claims. As a result, col-leges across Ireland and the UK fol-lowed suit.

The number 10 bus will continue to serve stu-dents in UCD despite Dublin Bus’ decision to cancel the bus route last July. The number 10 bus route connects UCD to the city centre and is an important facility for stu-dents. A spokesperson from Dublin Bus said “All num-ber 10 services will operate as normal up until 11pm and we are currently in discussions with UCD over late night services.”The decision in July, to cancel the bus came in light of continued anti–social behaviour on the part of students. The cancellation of the bus was met with an

outcry from students. The Students Union cam-paigned strongly against the move by Dublin Bus while UCD students supported a Facebook page entitled “Save the Number 10 Bus!” “The Students’ Union is delighted that UCD has managed to hold onto the only direct bus route from campus to the city. Students must be prop-erly served by a safe and easily accessible bus ser-vice. We congratulate Dublin Bus on it’s decision following extensive lobbying from the Students Union,” commented Paul Lynam, UCD Students Union President.Pat de Brún, UCD Students’ Union Campaigns & Communications Vice-President said, “We campaigned to ensure UCD students did not lose out to the rationalisation process of Dublin Bus. The Number 10 is not only a vital service but it’s iconic in UCD history.”

Number 10 bus remains UCD

boundl Cancellation of the bus was met with an outcry from studentsl Buses continue to serve students in UCD despite Dublin Bus’ decision to cancel the bus route last July

Amy Walsh

Japanese princess Mako, a first year liberal arts student lived and studied in UCD this summer.Princess Mako (18) is the grand-daughter of Japan’s reigning em-peror Akihito. The first year lib-eral arts student primarily studied English during her stay on campus in July and August.She enrolled in a six-week pro-gramme at the Applied Language Centre at UCD. Arriving to Dub-lin with 19 classmates’, she lived on campus.The Princess studied 20th-century Irish literature, drama and Irish history as well as English language classes, said a spokesman for UCD.“Princess Mako has a very spe-cial interest in Irish culture,” said a spokesman for Japan’s Imperial Household Agency.Tokyo’s International Christian University, which she attends, has a long-standing student-exchange programme with UCD.Princess Mako has had a notori-

ously conservative upbringing. When queried on whether the princess will be allowed to go out with Irish boys, the spokesperson replied, “That’s not the sort of ir-responsible question I can answer.” The Princess visited Glendalough, Newgrange, Dingle, Killarney and Belfast, according to the spokes-person. She made another trip to Croke Park for the All – Ireland hurling quarter finals and gave a demonstration on how to use a hurley and sliotar.Tatsuo Kitagawa, Japan’s first sec-retary in Ireland, said: “We are very proud that Princess Mako came to study in Dublin.“We understand that the princess very much enjoyed her life in Ire-land, especially the good hospitali-ty. She appreciates the opportunity from Irish people to study here,” he added.

Princess lives on UCD campus

for summer

Amy Walsh

Coca-Cola off shelves despite end of boycott

Amy Walsh

8 Features

Freshers Guide 2010

Dive into UCD Life

9 14.09.10The College Tribunewww.thecollegetribune.net

Welcome to the Neighbourhood

So you got 600 points and a place in Medicine in UCD – but now for the real challenge – turning on an oven. Donie O’Sullivan gives his guide to living on campus.

For most of you, this year will be your first time living away from home under the watchful eyes of your parents. For some it is an exciting prospect, but for others the thought of cleaning and feeding yourself everyday is a daunting challenge. But do not fear as the College Tribune Fresher’s Guide is here to give you all the tips you need to survive living on Res.Go visit your neighbours... NOW!This one is so important. It’s at this early stage of the year that its acceptable to go knock on all the doors around your apart-ment and introduce yourself to all your neighbours. Do it soon and before it’s too late as then you have to awkwardly avoid eye contact with them for the rest of the year in the corridors. Remember, those who live closest to you are likely to become your best drinking companions and some of your best friends during your time in UCD.

Save the coupons!All the coupons for pizza, soup and taxis you get in your Fresher packs may not mean much to you right now, but come that cold Wednesday evening in Novem-ber when you have two euro in your bank account which is supposed to see you through until Friday – a voucher for 40 cent off a pack of Oxtail Soup will be of enormous value.

Shop on a Sunday night/MondayGet into a routine of visiting a supermar-ket at the beginning of the week and buy

whatever you need that will keep you alive until Friday. In the long run, it will save you a lot of money instead of running to the local shop every evening.

Have House Parties!While the College Tribune does not con-done parties on campus, the whole point of living on campus is apparently to get caught by security! Despite the great craic involved in doing this, you are likely to get a fine. Make sure to contact your accomo-dation officer before being hit with a heavy fine. The Students’ Union can also help and will ensure that when you are fined, you are fined fairly! ... what a relief!

Bring home a pylon;Every student home needs one, along with a “Men at Work” or “Diversion in Place” road sign.

Fill the formAt the beginning of every year UCD Resi-dences give all new tenants a form which you must fill out and return normally by week 3 or week 4. This form asks you to list any damages you have noticed in your apartment that were there before you ar-rived. Take your time filling out this form and make sure to list any marks on the walls, the floor, doors etc. - because if you don’t you will be charged for them at the end of the year. That window was always broken, right?

Where do you live?

Merville – Comfort; *** Craic ****

One of the perks of Merville is that you live next door to Centra! It’s a good spot for fun but is the most difficult to sneak in non-residents after midnight. Hoping the fence is an option or blagging your way past security sometimes proves success-ful though. Sample the forgotten square if you get a chance, it is there I assure you.

Glenomena – Comfort **** Craic **

One of the most comfortable residences on campus, tenants are treated to an en-suite bedroom in the block beside the old Belfield soccer pitch. Traditionally Gle-nomena has only been open to final year students, so it’s up to you guys, the fresh-ers of 2010, to wreck havoc on what has traditionally been the “quiet” residence of UCD.

Roebuck – Comfort ***** Craic ***

Welcome to Hotel Roebuck! If you have a top floor apartment you are likely to have spectacular panoramic views of Dublin, so congratulations! As nice as Roebuck is, it is almost too private. You could go the whole year without knowing the guys who live in the apartment next to you so it’s really important to go knock on their doors and get to know them. Also never ever mess around in the elevators as it is highly frowned upon.

Roebuck Castle Catered – Comfort **** Craic ; you tell us!

This is the brand new campus accomoda-tion block and the place is currently shin-ing, but for how long though. You have all your dinners cooked for you so you never have to learn how to turn on an oven or even wash up. Party wise, security is likely to be strict so you won’t get away with much, but perhaps you young freshers might prove us wrong.

Belgrove – Comfort * Craic *****

Undoubtedly UCD’s shabbiest Residence, Belgrove is known to many of its former tenants as Belgrade. But it’s not all bad. Belgrove is the closest Residence to the main concourse, and unforgettably, the nearest accomodation block to the student bar. Belgrove is party central and if one of your parties leaves some dubious marks on the wall or stains on the furniture, not to worry. There are so many of them al-ready from over the years, no one is likely to ever notice!Students who live on campus get a true taste of the real college experience. With no mammy to feed and water you and no one to wake you up for class, you really are living independently. Most times it is a truly liberating experience and one that the majority of students enjoy immensely. However if you do find it all a bit too much, don’t hesitate to share how you feel with your housemates. It is important to note that they are in the exact same po-sition as you and will understand. Some support services such as pleasetalk.ie are available to you in UCD also so make use of the services specifically set-up for you if required.Have a great year, go wild, and remember, never lose the number of your favourite local take-away.

10 Features

Know your BarmanIf there is anyone worth knowing in UCD its those who serve your drinks, Colman Hanley find out what makes them tick

Declan “the boss” HylandHow long have you been working in the student bar?

I started working in 1987, I’ve been here for around 23 years.

What are you fondest or funniest memories of the student bar?

Funniest thing, well there’s been so many things as a lot of people have come and gone. Every week, every year you have a new experience so it’s impossible to pick one out to be honest.

Do you live up to the ‘Boss Man’ job title?

I’m too nice for the ‘Boss man’ title, and you can ask the other lads about that too!

In your opinion, what was the biggest event last year that took place in the bar?

Arthur’s Day took us by sur-prise last year, the success of that created a good day in the bar and then we had the Sawdoctors straight after that. We’ve got HOGAN lined up to do Arthur’s Day this year so that will be another great night here. We’ll be open till two in the morning too with cheap drinks so it

should be packed

What’s the worst thing then about the bar?

The worst thing about the bar is probably the summer, when students aren’t here. Unfortunately people might think or say we have enough students. But sure the thing is, when they’re here, the place feels like home. So when they’re back, like they are now, the rest of the lads are happy that they’ve returned!

Noel “Mad Man”DumphyHow long have you been working in the UCD student bar?I started working here in September 1994 so I’m here now for sixteen years.

What are you fondest or funniest memories of the stu-dent bar?I could write a book about what I’ve seen here. If some-one gives me enough money, someone from the News of the World or some sort of company came to me and offered me £250,000, I’d have no problem doing it.I’ll tell you what I’ve noticed in all the years I’ve been here is the building developments, the amount of new devel-opments. Quinn, Daedalus, Arts block, the new develop-ment at the student centre, that’s the stuff that sticks out. When people come back after being here five or ten years and pop in and say I remember you, they go on to say how they got lost and talk of how much things have

changed. That’s an over-riding thing that people will tell you and I’ve noticed that myself. Remember, all of that was green spaces and fields not so long ago.

What’s the strangest thing to happen to you in the stu-dent bar?Ah there’s so many. One lad came up to me the other night though and asked for an SB. He wanted a Sam-bucca!

It’s known that you’re a big Spurs fan, so will you wear some white on Champions League nights?Funnily enough, last year I was interviewed by someone from an internet site and I predicted Spurs would make the Champions League! I can’t wear my Spurs jersey on Champions league nights though, and I am working when they play this Tuesday.

“Happy” Harry When did you start working in the student bar?

I don’t know, about six months ago, I’m 21 years of age!!! Ah I start-ed during the 1990’s, around 1996 or 1997. I always wasn’t a highly trained athlete, look at me now!

Does any night in the student bar from the past stand out for you?

No not really, you never know what’s around the corner, students will be students.

Over the years, what’s been the biggest change in the bar?

I think the benches, that used to be here, going out was a big mis-take. I thought that they were more communal for the students, they

seemed to mingle better when they were there. This isn’t the Hilton Hotel, it’s the student bar. But that’s the only thing that I comes to mind.

Arthur’s Day was one of the busiest days here last year, what did you think of it?

Yeah that’s true, but what did Arthur’s day do for the students, they didn’t sell drinks for a cheap price. It was only a commercial fucking rip off, look at all the money students have spent on Diageo products, why don’t they give some of it back instead of ripping them off all the time. Foster’s for example have always kept their product at a cheap price for students.

Finally, what’s the best way of getting served quickly in the bar?

Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ will always get you served quick!

11 14.09.10The College Tribunewww.thecollegetribune.net

Daryl “Junior”Hyland

How long have you worked at the bar?2 and a half years.

Whats the best thing about working in the bar?It’s good craic and you have a laugh.

Whats the worst thing about working in the bar?Sometimes you wish you were on the other side of the counter.

How do you get on your good side?By being polite and patient.

How do you get on your bad side?By being the opposite.

Any good memories?Shane McGowan sparking up at the bar.

Kieth “Hungover”Warren.

How long have you worked at the bar?I’ve worked here for 7 years.

Whats the best thing about working at the bar?The acts you see and the first day back.

Whats the worst thing about working in the bar?The first day as well, and the busy long hours. How do you get on your good side?

Don’t scream and roar at me across the bar.

How do you get on your bad side?Bringing your own drink into the bar. Any good memories?Well at the last UCD ball a girl came up to the bar to or-der a drink and she had her tit hanging out. When I pointed it out to her she just put it back in and said “now can I get a drink”.

But dont spend too much time in their company of you’ll end up like this bar favorite....

And for those clever people among you who will spend more time in the library than the bar you will certainly come across this gentleman...

He is the one in the middle

Librocop (or Michael to give him his proper name)This is the man you want to see but DO NOT want to run into on bad terms. This fetching picture may make him look more like a soft cuddly bear than the bad-ass of the James Joyce Library, but be warned, that smile is a rarely seen.One wonders what length’s UCD’s current Education officer, James Williamson, and his fellow student union colleague, Alan Pierce, went to in order to get this photo. All that can be confirmed, is that they still live to be able to tell the story.We’ve all heard it within. The whispers of the library are a constant distraction for every student. There is nothing worse than trying to get work down in the library when the ‘goys’ and the ‘Loike’ are the main cause of distraction and disturbance within the confines of James Joyce. Therefore when they mysteriously vanish, you know that Librocop is in your pres-ence. Like a knight in shining armour, he scares away the distractions with just the mere sound of his footsteps approaching.The legend goes that he answers to the name of Michael, though you would be a brave student to attempt a conversation with the man. Many can remember the run-ins they have had with Librocop, it is almost a necessity to have had some kind of experience with him over the course of your time in UCD.

12 Features

MAKING CENTSWith over 24,000 students on a huge campus of 1.4 square kilometres in size (that’s 350 Acres for anyone that stud-ies AG Science) and a ridiculously over-complicated registration process, settling

in at UCD can be challenge. Matters are made worse when you add in the fact that you are entering student life at the tail end of a recession and with less part-time jobs available to students. All this means that

after having registered, and paid for both your fees and rent, you’re prob-ably lost, c o n f u s e d , and broke. On the money side of things, we hope-fully can help with our tips on some of the key eco-nomic is-sues.S t u d e n t BankingIf you haven’t yet got your own bank account - Get one. Not only is it a part of your new inde-p endence, o n l i n e banking is the quick-est way of t r a n s f e r -ring money. The three main Irish

Banks, AIB, Bank of Ireland (BOI) and Ulster Bank will be competing for your business. On a basic level all three institutions are the same. Each offer students free banking, interest free overdrafts ranging from €650 - €1500, laser enabled ATM cards and text top-up services. So examine what they are giving way for free. Signing up with AIB guarantees a free Student Travel Card, which provides up to 25% discounts off bus and rail travel. Contrastingly, BOI offer= free flights to ten European destinations for anyone who opens an account and makes ten transac-tions before October 31st. In comparison, Ulster Bank will dazzle you with the offer of €100 if you sign up before the 29th of October. All you need to do is make three transactions in semester one and you will receive the money in February. For those of you who trust yourselves, AIB and BOI both provide Student Credit Cards. AIB offer a very funky curved Credit Card, which comes at a great in-troductory rate of 3% and a €600 limit. BOI offer €850 @ 15.5% which is high, but they do however also offer an interest free Student Travel Loan of €2000 which is unbeatable.Our Choice: BOI – When in the future you need money, and you will, whether it’s for fee’s, a holiday or a car, they have the best options. … But also open an account with Ulster Bank – Its Free money!!Shopping on a BudgetHaving watched our parents do it thou-sands of times before coming to college, most will still never think to buy items like toilet roll. For residents of UCD and anyone not living at home there are a few good local options. Located in Merville and currently hidden by construction work, Centra is the best for those on cam-pus. While it is not a supermarket, it has ev-erything you need. For somewhere with

more choice there is Supervalu only three minutes walk from the Fosters Avenue Exit. Further a field there are Tesco stores in Mount Merrion, Stilorgan and Dun-drum, with the nearest Aldi and M&S in Rathmines and Dundrum.The fact is however that the recession has dropped the cost of goods in every super-market to virtually the same price. People accuse Centra UCD of being expensive, however this week ‘The College Tribune’ conducted a price comparison between Centra UCD and Tesco after compiling a basket of eleven Goods containing: The truth about “discount” stores like Tesco is that while their prices on most goods will be lower than others, one or two goods, in particular meat, will be much higher.Our Choice: Within UCD, Centra is your best option. Outside of UCD, head to Aldi and Tesco, you have all your life to shop local and organic. An inventive student will be able to “find” cutlery, toilet roll and other needs around campus if they look hard enough. If you really, really want to save money, head to Musgrave’s Cash and Carry and buy supplies in bulk. Lunch on a BudgetUCD is full of places of to get a bite to eat. One may be best in avoiding the Restau-rant as not only is the food not that nice, its expensive and you are made to pay for butter and ketchup. This results in the staff seeming to just look at your tray and arrive at the cost. O’Briens (Health Sci-ence), Insomnia (Quinn) and the Arts Café (that’s in the Arts block for those of you doing Arts) do not have Student fo-cused prices, a sandwich alone in the Arts Café will set you back €4.50, but the food in these outlets is of a good standard. The best buys on campus are from the Student and Forum bars where for around €5 you can get a full Lunch/Dinner. If you can beat the long lunch time rush and

find it, Centra make fresh Pizza for just four euro and it comes with a freebottle of water.Our Choice: Centra – a Hot Chicken Roll (otherwise known as a H to the C to the R) which comes a free bottle of water. At €3.50, it can’t be beaten. Laptops on a BudgetA good laptop is an investment. However if all you want to do is be able to use Black-board, download your course notes and watch some TV online, then you should aim for a notebook at a budget price.Our Choice: The Gateway NV5933U. Despite its horrible name, for €512 you get 320G of Storage, 4G of RAM, 2.3Ghz processor, a CD Drive, Blu-ray player and HDMI-out port and MS Office Student Pre-Loaded.Drinking on a BudgetLet’s be honest, you probably already know about that!Entertainment on a BudgetSociety Events are usually a completely free. LawSoc and L&H Debates and Com-edy Debates will usually be a good laugh, while An Cumann Gaelach, TradSoc, DramSoc and ComedySoc, all provide events for free or a minimal entry. UCD Ents run free gigs nights in the Bar, while on nights where you actually have to pay for a ticket, acts such as Japanese Popstars and DeadMou5 are a fraction of the price of what they would be elsewhere.Clubs in town are so competitive that somewhere has a good deal every night of the week. €2 drinks are the devil for the wallet and the liver, but do have fun be-ing young. For 1st years we recommend TriPod, Dicies, Bucks, and maybe Button Factory. Avoid Club 21’s! Our choice: Get your friends together, 20+, and call a club, organise a fake class party. They will give you all a cheaper en-try rate and more than likely a free drink.

Centra UCD TescoHalf Pan Bread 1.30 1.25Own Brand Milk, 1.35 0.97OB Orange Juice, 1.25 0.70Gigantic Pizza, 2.99 2.99Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, 2.39 2.39Lyons Tea, 2.29 2.85Mixed Veg. 1.65 1.29Mince, 3.00 6.00Jam 2.05 2.29Total 18.27 20.73

Sleepzone is the West of Ireland’s leading hostel operator with three spacious properties in fantastic loca-tions - Sleepzone Galway City in the heart of Galway City; Sleepzone Con-nemara near the village of Leenane in Connemara and Sleepzone - The Bur-ren close to the Cliffs of Moher, in The Burren region. All three Sleepzone Hostels fea-tured in the ‘Top Ten Hostels in Ireland’ at the Hostelworld Awards in January 2009 and 2010!

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As a UCD student, you automatically now have money prob-lems. Eoghan Ó Braonáin advises where students can save some much needed money for the student bar

13 14.09.10The College Tribunewww.thecollegetribune.net

Gaeilge Fáilte is Fiche Míle Mac Léinn

Fáilte. Sin é agaibh é. Beidh an focal sin cloiste ag na freisir inár measc faoi seo. Fáilte ar ais cloiste ag an gcuid eile againn. Mar sin tosaíonn bliain eile in UCD (nó COBÁC leis an teideal cruinn-cheart-cineál curtha faoi chois a thabhairt!). Beidh an-chuid den seandream againne ag gearán is ag spochadh as an mbaicle úr agaibh anseo. ‘Éiríonn siad níos óige gach aon bhliain.’ Ní féidir linn dul go dtí Club X a thuilleadh mar tá mo dheirfiúr óg ag dul ann anois.’ Caithimis uainn é mar spórt!Anois a mhic léinn nua, seo daoibh fao-iseamh trí éigin bliana in aghaidh an chúlaithe mhóir, trí bliana lán den raic, den chraic, den ragairne, den rírá is den ruaille buaille (táim rite as focail a tho-saíonn le r). Trí bliana ag foghlaim conas tionscnamh grúpa a dhéanamh (leat féin), conas scrúdú cheisteanna ilroghnacha a líonadh amach i gceart (A don ádh?), conas triúr cailíní/buachaillí/beithíoch (scrios mar is mian leat) ón gcúrsa céanna a phógadh in aon oíche.Cloisfidh sibh faoin loch rúnda, faoin dara loch rúnda, aimseoidh cuid agaibh iad seo ach an dream eile suífidh sibh istigh ag tabhairt aire na huibhe do bhur dtinneas

bpóite. Cloisfidh sibh faoin leabharlann rúnda trédhearcach, is na tolláin rúnda, faoin ailtireacht fhrithchiréibe, faoin gcara le deartháir a bhí sa Bheár an oíche ar thug cailín ceann do lead le ticéad do Bhál na bhFreisear a bhuachan. Íosfaidh sibh sa Bhialann, i gCaife na nEalaíona, i 911, in O’Briens, sa Chaife Spóirt agus beidh bhúr dtuairimí féin agaibh; lofa, álainn, ming, cgl, cac agus ar deireadh tiocfar ar an tuairim gur bia uafásach costasach is neamh-shláintiúil é. Mí ina dhiaidh sin, tabharfaidh tú faoi ndeara gurb fhearr é ná Weetabix agus pónairí. Is le bagairt na scrúduithe cuirfidh sibh aithne ar na leabharlanna ‘Ó bhabh ní raibh a fhios agam go raibh Leabharlann James Joyce, laidhc, anseo?!’ ‘Cá bhfuil an Blackboard mór seo a mbíonn gach éinne ag caint air? Beidh sé ina chogadh dearg eadraibh ag moladh feabhas an chinn atá roghnaithe agaibh. Tuigfidh sibh an fáth go ‘gcaithfidh mé, laidhc, teacht isteach choooooomh luath le plocóid a fháil.’ Tuigfidh sibh GPA agus beidh deacracht agaibh i gcónaí oibriú amach an go maith nó an go dona atá tú ag cruthú. 2? Dealraíonn sin go maith,

cá bhfios? Cuirfidh cuid agaibh aithne ar Aontas na Mac Léinn, cuid eile rachaidh sibh chun cónaithe ann.Bígí páirteach i gcumainn, sa rang, sa spórt, is tosaigh cairdeas le gach mac máthair againn anseo, go fiú is an fear gan dídean a fheicfidh sibh gan mhoill. Don Ghael in bhur measc, ná bíodh aon eagla oraibh mar seo chugaibh An Cumann Gaelach. Dóibh siúd a bhaineann taitnea-mh as rudaí a dhéanamh; an L & H, An Cumann Drámaíochta is Dramsoc, anuas ar Chumainn Cheoil is Litríochta, murab ionann agus áiteanna eile, tá rogha den dá theanga oifigiúil anseo sa CHOBÁC níos minice ná ár gcairde lárchathrach. Ar chuala tú trácht ar Aodh Ó Brádaigh? An príomhcharachtar sa chluiche is fear fós ó Where’s Wally? Club XXI? Merville, Belgrove, nó Gleann na Mine? UCD Ball? Tá mórán i ndán daoibh. Mar sin, seo chugaibh an chuid is fear de bhur saolta go dtí seo (agus as seo amach is cosúil) beirigí greim ar an lá, bainigí súp, spórt, spraoi is taitneamh as gach lá daoibh bheith anseo. Ní fada an t-achar trí bli-ana, is tá na cailíní/buachaillí/beithígh ag fanacht oraibh!

Táimid go léir ar ais i gColáiste na hOllscoile Baile Átha Cliath anois. Tá ár scríbhneoir, an Murchadh Mór, ar ais chomh maith agus tá cúpla smaoineamh aige...

Tribune Editorial15 14.09.10The College Tribune

www.thecollegetribune.net

Will we learn this time?It seems our beloved number ten bus route is not leaving us after all. There is no doubting that this news is positive for all staff and students, especially that those that rely on the service to the city centre. However, the question

must be asked, is this just a temporary situation?

Dublin Bus have stopped the number ten service entering the campus on many occasions over the past few years, and it looked as though the route would be extinct when Dublin Bus announced plans last April to scrap the

service altogether over the summer. However it appears as though a lack of planning within Dublin Bus, and admittedly some of the work of UCD SU, has resolved the situation, for now.

As we head into the first week with the 24,000 plus students back on campus, and freshers week arriving straight after, who is to say that our exuberant young Freshers can behave themselves when getting that last bus to Tripod

or Club XXI’s. The patience of Dublin Bus has been tested on many occasions and at some point, our luck is going to run out.

The biggest fear of course is that Dublin Bus revert to the planned networking they had proposed a few months back. A misdemeanour by just one small group of students could be the catalyst to this action.

Let’s hope for all our sakes that the bus route can stay trouble free as the loss of the service would not only damage the reputation of students and but would also detach the college from the city centre and which would also

have a damaging effect on attracting potential new students to the college.

Accomodation CrisisLast week witnessed the complete and utter failure of the UCD accommodation system. It resulted in hundreds of students having to jump through needless hoops in order to gain access to their pricey accommoda-

tion. The front page story that the College Tribune uncovered is proof of the dire situation that some students found themselves in.

As top officials from UCD and UCD Students’ Union have already said, the situation must not repeat itself and actions must be taken to ensure that students are not stranded and left helpless as they were.

However we have heard this same old line from the powers that be in UCD every year as the accommodation system seems to fail students in one form or another, or the SIS system manages to confuse rather than help

students picking the subjects they wish to pursue.

These systems continue to fail students year after year and the unfortunate people who suffer are students and UCD support staff who are put into a situation they cannot deal with.

You only had to take a quick visit down to any of the campus complexes last Monday to see the resident assistant’s being asked to work out of office hours or the staff in programme officers having to assure students

about registration because the SIS system was not able to complete this most simple of tasks.These may be the usual complaints of students at the start of every academic year, but the student populace of UCD must

make sure that these complaints do not fall on deaf ears. If we are ever to be hassle free of these issues, pressure must be applied on the people who have the control and power to rectify these problems. Someone must

be held accountable, and progress must be made.

LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) Box 74, Student Centre, UCDEmail: collegetribune@gmail.comTel: 01 716 8501

Editor:Colman Hanley

News Editor:Amy Walsh

Turbine Editor:Ryan Cullen

Sports Editor:Mark Hobbs

Acting Music Editor:Conor McKenna

Fashion Editor:Aoifa Smyth

Photography Editor:Dáire Brennan

Eagathóir Gaeilge:Eoin Ó Murchú

Contributors;David Tracy, Conor McKenna, Dave Costello, Donie O’Sullivan, Ciara Murphy, Greg Acton, Dave Costello, Margeuritte Murphy, Brian Mahon, Lorraine Foy, Jim Scully, Róisín Sweeney, Eoghan Ó Braonáin, Laura McNally, Kel-lie Nwaokorie, Alex Ryan.

Thanks;Datascope Printing, Kevin Mitchell, Trina Kirwan, David Walsh, Philip Connolly, Cathy Buckmaster, Eileen Gahan, Karena Bracken, James Gran-nell, Luke Coleman, Peter Fitzsi-mons, Shauna Cannon, Lorraine Foy

The College Tribune The Difference is we’re independent

The College TribuneWants YouIf you are interested in writing for this newspaper please do

not hesitate to contact us, no experience is required

collegetribune@gmail.com

Big Ball of DeathFriday 23rd April 2010. For many this was a day to rejoice, a day to celebrate one year of throwing up in hedges all around one of Irelands finest universi-ties, a day to take your mind off your inevitably depressing and crippling fu-ture, a day to relax before your exams by inhaling copious amounts of Druids Cider and Panadol. But alas, some-thing more catastrophic was lurking than just the streams of urine flooding from the Port-a-loo’s that day. Many students were left in despair about the events that took place, with the tragic loss of many lives and a few Commerce students as well. One traumatised victim claimed “it was like Love Fest in Germany but with a lot more cellulite”. This was a day that UCD Ents wish never occurred. Although safety was claimed to be tak-en care of by numerous staff of UCD Ents, they were not prepared for what took place. The geriatric pop stars ‘The Vengaboys’ took to the stage and after 25 minutes of their performance, the Ambulances were all in high demand with many students collapsing due to what was described as ‘overwhelming

nostalgia’. Things ran smoothly for a while with Iglu and Hartly gaining a standing ova-tion, a standing ovation because finally they stopped fucking playing. But then disaster struck. With many excited pre-pubescent teens waiting for the appear-ance of the Saturdays onstage and the collapse of the techno stage due to pres-sure from 40,000 empty packets of Ben-son and Hedges, all present flocked to see the pop tarts in full swing. The crowd just couldn’t get enough and a push was inev-itable. This was a push out of all propor-tions though; this push was equivalent to Brian Cowen running quickly for a fag, with countless people trampled on and fortunately the loss of the vast majority of Nurse Students. The Front row eventu-ally looked like a liver Paté from within the depths of the UCD Restaurant.All that remains now is a large grave where the event took place. A place where mourners can see flocks of white crosses like those from a war torn battlefield. The death toll isn’t certain but reports suggest it could be around 350 tonnes.

Popes UK

visit met with

enthusiastic

response

With a new year upon us, our new members of ‘The Brady Bunch’ are set to try and shape up our University’s economic and physical state. Paul Lynam, our new student Union President, began his term in charge in con-troversial circumstances when he set out his manifesto for what he calls ‘the greater good’. At an orientation speech in O’Reilly Hall, Lynam started the proceedings by passing a law that all Swans are to be exterminated on sight due to an incident last week in which an exchange student was lifted from the lakeside and never returned.Tightened security on campus also has caused much distress to many students. The introduction of daily house raids, retina scanning every 4 hours and strip searches at the gates has caused mass uproar. Rub-ber bullets were fired into the fresher’s tent last Wednesday as fresher’s gathered trying to grab the last remains of complimentary

condoms. Our Turbine reporter Brighton Early caught up with a security guard who injured a fresh-er by shooting him in the face from close range. He stated “you should have seen his face, I laughed and laughed and laughed”. A lunatic. When we caught up with Welfare of-ficer Scotty Ahern on the incident he simply replied “ah, fuck him”.With last year’s introduction of student health charges, new practises have been put into place to insure each and every student gets total care. Scott Ahern himself shall be providing free cervical smear tests outside the UCD restaurant during Shag week.Amongst other new practises put in place from Pat de Brún, Communications Officer will offer classes free of charge in the Agri-cultural Science building called ‘How not to speak like a complete bogger in ten easy steps’.

Lick My Manifesto

It’s Satire Stupid!

Baby born at over 30 mph

Prince Harry claims ‘Last one

on drugs is a queer’ at Royal

Albert Hall speech

Bridge built in Kilkenny to ‘get

over it’

Mary Harneys’ cellulite to warm the Homeless this

Christmas

Nadal takes ad-vantage of Shara-

pova

Ms. Dynamite plans tour of Pal-

estine

Tinie Tempah at-tends Ander man-agement classes

Setting sun smashes into New

Zealand.

Inside

17 14.09.10The College Tribunewww.thecollegetribune.net

Ex-student UCD makes history

Former UCD student Mark Rohan be-came the first Irishman to claim a Paracy-cling World Championship medal on the 20th of August, emerging victorious in H1 Handcycling road race in Baie-Comeau

Canada.The Sports Management graduate for-merly played football for Westmeath at U-21 level, before injuries sustained in a road accident in 2001 left Rohan confined to a wheelchair. Having previously repre-sented Ireland in wheelchair basketball,

he has been involved with paracycling for just two years before his triumph. Rohan emerged two seconds clear of his nearest rival Wolfgang Schattauer, an Austrian rider and previous World Champion.Irish Paracycling Manager Denis Toomey was clearly delighted saying, “‘Hearing the Irish National Anthem being played at a World Championship Medal Ceremony was a great experience and one we hope-fully will hear more of in the future.”

New sponsor for Superleague

Elvery’s Sports have been announced as the new spon-sor for the upcoming Super-league season.The football league, which will consist of teams of UCD students competing in one of four divisions and two cup competitions, will take place at the usual Saturday and Sunday mornings and after-noons. Applications forms will be available at the Sports Exposition during Fresher’s Week and must be returned before 4.00pm on Thursday the 23rd of September.The coming season will see the introduction of the UCD AFC Halfway Challenge Competition in the UCD

Bowl. The event, sponsored by Dutch Gold, will see teams attempt to get the ball from the edge of the centre circle to the back of the net without bouncing. The team that does so the most times within a two minute period will win a prize spon-sored by Dutch Gold in conjunction with D2 Nightclub. A Grand Final will take place at the end of the Superleague season.

Sports Expo 2010 details announced

The Sports Exposition 2010 will take place

in the Sport Centre from September 20th to 23rd, open from 10am to 5pm daily.The event, sponsored by Bank of Ireland, will be an excellent opportunity for stu-dents to find information on or join one of the 59 sports clubs that are available in the University. All clubs will be participating at the event, and it serves as a medium for exploring the sporting diversity on cam-pus. Various demonstrations and compe-titions are planned for the week.

SportThe College Tribune14.09.10www.thecollegetribune.net/sport

the college tribune

With the Champions League starting back in earnest this week, Mark Hobbs looks forward to a treat of footballThis week welcomes the return of one of world’s most significant and fascinat-ing sporting mediums; the Champions League. While the tendency with almost all cov-erage of football nowadays is to give way to hyperbole and sensationalism, it is hard to play down the importance of the Champions League. The monetary benefits are obvious, and the knock on ef-fects mean that the financial pull and lure of glory can attract the top players in the world. Consequently, this helps create a tier between the regular Champions League teams and everyone else. This is having an adverse effect on the game as a whole, but what it certainly does provide us with is a platform for the game that is more thrilling and with an abundance of qual-ity on show.Last year’s final produced a shock by fea-turing no Spanish or English team, with Inter Milan outplaying Bayern Munich. This pairing was certainly not in line with the accepted wisdom that suggested that both Italian and German football was in decline, as a result of most of the money and the majority of the sport’s biggest stars residing in the Premier League and La Liga. While it is too early, and unwise, to sug-

gest that the balance of power has shifted in Europe, at least last year shows that the competition is more wide open , and therefore more intriguing, then we had been led to believe. Indeed the Italian challenge has been further strengthened this year through AC Milan’s marquee signings of Ibrahimovic and Robinho. Two players with undoubted talent, they struggled over the past year following un-successful big money moves.The current favourites are Barcelona, a team that with the addition of David Villa, are morphing into the Spanish na-tional team. In full flow Barcelona are a joy to watch for any football fan, but as Inter showed last year, they are by no means unbeatable. While the pragmatic approach they displayed in the Nou Camp will not have won many admirers, it highlights how hard work and organi-sation can triumph even against superior players. These aforementioned qualities have never been synonymous with Real Ma-drid, but that may change now that last year’s winning manager Jose Mourinho controls the reins at the club. Mourinho is undoubtedly one of the great talents of the game, and it is worth noting that Inter Milan; the reigning champions, are quot-ed as high as 16/1 with the bookmakers to win again without the self proclaimed “Special One” at the helm. It’s at times dif-ficult to like the man, who is often brash

and vain, but it is impossible to question his pedigree. Where Mourinho goes, success usually follows soon after. Sir Alex Ferguson last week even highlighted the boost he will give the Madrid giants; “Signing Mour-inho has upped the ante for Real. They’ll have a better chance now- he’s got a bet-ter squad. He’s the first Real coach that’s bought players with a plan.” And it is cer-tainly true that the Portuguese coach will have a plan, he has boldly promised to de-liver spectacularly by his second season.Mourinho’s former team, Chelsea, are rightly towards the top of the list of likely winners, along with Manchester United. Ferguson, one of the most successful managers in the history of the game, showed how desired a prize the Cham-pions League is by lamenting his club’s failure to lift the cup more than their cur-rent tally of three times. Referring to last year’s capitulation against Bayern Mu-nich, the Scotsman said, “Last year still plays on my mind, that Bayern Munich game. Christ, I’m still not sleeping after that! I keep thinking about that game and keep getting angry about the way we lost it.” If a man with decades of experience, who has grown accustomed to success can’t even sleep thinking about the Champions League it begs the question: what hope have the rest of us?

UCD Clubhouse

Down the line

18 Sport

Two wins from two and top of group B in the hope of reaching the Uefa Euro-pean Championships in Poland and the Ukraine. Irish football should have been on a high in the run up to the double header against Russia and Slovakia next month but the dire financial records that became public just days later destroyed the immediate feel good factor in Irish football.However the situation appears to not have infected the players and it’s clear to see that Giovanni Trappattoni’s side have developed a belief in themselves and the winning spirit which has not been seen since Mick McCarthy’s 1996-2002 tenure as manager. Speaking directly after the game, Read-ing striker Shane Long echoed his team-mate’s sentiments by declaring the open-ing round of fixtures a success. “We did what we had to do out there, it’s always easy to not get the right result on nights like tonight as they didn’t make it easy for us, but we dug deep, got the right result and we’re top of the table.”Kevin Doyle, who registered Ireland’s second goal against Andorra last week, agreed with his former Cork City and Reading teammate. “Yeah it wasn’t an easy game. It was such a slow stop and start type of game, I think the ambulance crew were on most of the time! It was tough, we won the game and that was the most important thing. We’re top of the group, so we’re happy.”For Tipperary man Long, the win made it three wins in the space of a five day spell as he celebrated the success of the return of Liam McCarthy’s return to the Premier County. Long, a former Tipperary minor star until he switched codes, could not hold back his delight once the mention of Tipperary’s All-Ireland was made.“Yeah, I got to watch it on television, the whole county has gone mad back home. They put on a great performance on the pitch and got their just rewards. I played with Conor O’Brien, Paddy Stapleton, David Young, Darragh Egan, I think there was six on the squad that I’d played with in minor so I sent a few texts to them. I should get a few texts back once they so-ber up!”

Long, an un-used substitute against An-dorra last week, has yet to take to the pitch at the new Aviva stadium. However he pointed out that his club form would be the way to earn his place back. “At club level, we played very well against Scun-thorpe in our first game and still lost 2-1. We went away to Leicester and were un-der the cosh for the last ten minutes, dug

deep, and got the victory and I think that might turn our season around. Hopefully we’ll get on a bit of a run and the wins will come easy.”Long underlined his determination to feature in the October internationals by scoring a penalty last weekend in Read-ing’s 3-0 home win against Crystal Palace. Interestingly, Reading and Ireland inter-

national Ian Harte also scored a penalty in the game so it will be interesting to see if he can also catch the attention of ‘Il Trap.’Wexford man Doyle, who notched his ninth senior international goal for Ire-land last week, scored a similar goal to the one he got back in September 2007 away to Slovakia. The goal won him Irish in-ternational goal of the year for 2007 and was one of the very few bright moments of what was a shocking European Cham-pionship 2008 qualifying campaign under then manager, Steve Staunton. Doyle, who also scored in the home game against Slovakia in March of 2007, admitted the prospect of another goal against the Slo-vakians in October would be ‘nice’. “I en-joyed playing against them before!” It’ll be two difficult games against Russia and Slovakia. We’re really getting to the meat of the group. On paper, Russia is probably the strongest team in the group and maybe we are surprising them along with Slovakia. We’ve a great chance of topping the group, we knew that before-hand. We’ve put ourselves in a great po-sition after two games so we just have to continue it.” Long agreed with his former Reading striking partner, citing that the result in Moscow as a positive result. “It was de-cent for us, but at the same time Slovakia are a great side as well. If we get the three points out of the Russia game, that will

put us in a great position going into the Slovakia game. But it’s going to be a tough group, we knew that, but in these first two games we knew we had to get six points and that’s what we’ve done.”However before the double header in Oc-tober, Doyle must get through his club commitments unscathed. One upcoming game is a trip to White Hart Lane and a fixture which is likely to pit him up against his skipper at international level, Robbie Keane. Doyle chuckled at the prospect of facing Keane. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to that. But we’ll be meeting up together here in about 3 weeks so it’s all busy busy.”The final word was left to the Irish skip-per. Delighted with maximum points from two games, his 102nd cap, his 44th international goal and his first cartwheel celebration in the new Aviva stadium, Ke-ane spoke of the banter he hoped to have with club teammate and Russian interna-tional Roman Pavlyuchenko.“Yeah it should be fun, but he doesn’t speak any English so he won’t be able to understand anything!”Keane will be hoping the Russian’s form at international level will be as good as his ability to speak English come 7:45pm on Friday the 8th of October.

Following Ireland’s 3-1 win over Andorra last week, strikers Kevin Doyle and Shane Long, and Irish captain Robbie Keane exclusively spoke to Colman Hanley

Irish camp confident of Euro success

(Above) Kevin Doyle’s shot on it’s way to the Andorran net, (Below) Robbie Keane celebrates Ireland’s third goal. Credit: Brendan Moran/SPORTSFILE

19 14.09.10The College Tribunewww.thecollegetribune.net

After a whirlwind summer that has seen Steven Colvert pit himself against the fin-est athletes in Europe at some of the con-tinent’s most prestigious meetings, the

UCD sprinter can be forgiven for taking a well earned four week break following his arduous training regime.Having only just turned 20, Colvert has

achieved a lot of success in such a small period of time. How-ever it is his sheer rate of improvement that is most eye-catching when looking at the overall progress of the Irish athlete. Despite tak-ing two silver medals at the Irish Cham-p i o n s h i p s , the UCD student was not initially named in the squad for the 20th Euro-pean Athletics C h a m p i o n -ship in Barce-lona this sum-mer.H o w e v e r proving his u n d o u b t e d resolve and

ability, Colvert delivered further on his promise in the Belgian Championships, the final qualifying event for Barcelona. Recording two personal bests over both 100 and 200 metres, he comfortably took the 200 metre event with a time of 20.90 seconds that came well within the qualifying standard of 21 seconds for the European event. While Colvert’s rate of progression didn’t take him to the podium at the Montjuic Olympic Stadium, the experience was still an overwhelmingly positive one for the young athlete.“It was a massive learning experience – I never went there to win anything. That wasn’t what I was going there for, I was only going to gain experience for competi-tions coming in the next few years; such as the World Championships next year, and hopefully the Olympics in 2012. But as a learning experience it was one of the best weeks of my life.”Competing at such an exalted level means a life of dedication and a certain amount of sacrifice. Colvert trains six days a week,

dividing his time between weight and track sessions, while often training twice a day in the run up to meetings. However, the demand of this lifestyle has a knock on effect, and the UCD student has been forced to change from his Science course due to his demanding training regime. While Colvert is undoubtedly enjoying his success, it means he doesn’t live the life of the average student. “It can be quite a pain at times when friends are heading out and you can’t as you have to be up early to train,” he admits. Colvert is still acclima-tising himself to the rigours of the sport, as remarkably, given his success to date, this is only his second year of athletics. This success has not gone unnoticed, and the sprinter is currently mulling over a scholarship offer form Florida State Uni-versity, home to one of America’s top sprint teams. The terms of their offer are extremely generous as the scholarship cov-ers everything from accommodation right

down to clothes. Despite the magnitude of the proposal, the decision is far from an easy one for Colvert, who seems to be favouring continuing his stay in UCD: “UCD has been so good to me so I really am in two minds about it…I’ve made such good friends in the athletics club.”In the likelihood that Colvert remains in Dublin, the respite does not last for much longer as he will return to training in the coming weeks with a view to return-ing to action in April for the Intervarsity Championships, with the campaign being geared towards the World Championships next September. If Colvert maintains his current rate of improvement then the fol-lowing campaign could realistically be tar-geted towards competing for Ireland at the London 2012 Olympics.Should Colvert qualify, it will surely be the first of a few Olympics in his career and guarantee that his name will be on the lips of all athletics fans.

When many of us venture abroad on our holidays or travels our natural tendency is to try things that are new and exciting, often taking in thrilling extreme or water sports that would be unconsidered while at home. But UCD Sub Aqua Club’s Public Relationship Officer Cathal O’ Fearghail explains that access to such possibilities need not be limited to our summer excur-sions.“Having completed basic training while travelling in Thailand two summers ago, I didn’t know what to expect when I joined UCD Scuba Club on my return, or indeed if diving in Irish waters could compare to the colourful warm tropical dives abroad, but the first weekend away with the club, certainly answered my questions with a bang. Don’t let anyone tell you there is nothing to see when diving in Ireland!”When thinking about diving it is natural to conjure images of colourful and beau-tiful coral reefs, as well as swimming alongside schools of tropical fish. Ireland’s coastline can provide us with neither of these, so how does diving domestically compare with sites further afield? “Ireland, being an island on the western edge of Europe and on the Continental Shelf, is perfectly suited for the sport of Scuba diving. Our waters provide dive sites of varying quality and standards to

encompass all individual requirements. Due to it’s small size it is relatively easy to travel from one part of the country to another, giving divers the opportunity to travel for one, or more, days’ diving. The Irish coast is definitely home to some world class dive sites.”Since its inception in 1993, the Sub Aqua Club has grown in stature and popularity and now incorporates almost one hun-dred members. Part of the appeal of the club may be due to the relaxed nature of the sport; diving is non competitive so the pressure to win and achieve that may permeate other clubs in the university is notably absent. Essentially everyone is there to enjoy what they are doing; to catch a “unique and per-sonal glimpse of life underneath the sea”, as the club’s website puts it. While the club facilitates the training for various qualifi-cations, no one is trying to beat each other, and consequently the social aspect is as important as the diving. While diving equipment is relatively ex-pensive to other sports, the Sub Aqua Club provides an inexpensive introduc-tion to diving, as O’ Fearghail explains; “Compared to training commercially, joining a club like UCD to learn to dive is extremely cheap. Training is offered in all aspects of diving and once you have

completed your basic qualification, the world is your oyster and you can expand your dive experience by training right up to Instructor. The club also provides equipment, and anything else you need can be borrowed off senior members until you are ready to make the commitment to purchase your own.”While the training is a vital part of what the club offers to members, the trips away are where the best experiences are to be found. “As well as weekly dives in Dublin bay over the summer, weekends away are organised from February to November with more emphasis this year on keeping active during the winter months,” the PRO commented. “We dive on all Irish coasts, especially the western seaboard where there is great div-ing for all levels. My personal favourite is Diamond Rocks, Kilkee, Co Clare. It is also great craic tearing along in either of the clubs two rib power boats. I can’t rec-ommend the weekends away enough.”

Like all the other sports clubs of the college, UCD Sub Aqua club will have a stand in the Sports Centre at the sports exposition from September 20th – 23rd.

Diving into sport at UCD

UCD Sprinter has Olympics in sight

With many sports clubs available to both new and students already estab-lished in UCD, Cathal O’ Fearghail of the Sub Aqua Club tells Mark Hobbs of his clubs merits

After competing at the European Championships in Barcelona over the summer, UCD and Irish athlete Steven Colvert outlines his ambi-tions to Mark Hobbs

“as a learning experience it was one of the best weeks of my life”

SportThe College Tribune14.09.10thecollegetribune.net

the college tribune

Bohemians Too Strong For Students

A disappointing Friday night in Dalymount Park for the Students saw Bohemians keep their slim title hopes alive with a 3-1 win thanks to goals while fur-ther endangering UCD in their fight to avoid the rel-egation play-off. A Paul Corry goal gave the away fans hope of a comeback, but the game was killed off by a late Mark Quigley strike.Bohs started brightly and could have scored as early as the first minute had Killian Brennan not fallen over from just a few yards with the goal gaping in front of

him. Only five minutes later and the league champi-ons had another chance but Irish international Jason Byrne saw his shot fly over the bar. UCD came close to taking the lead in the sixteenth minute. Karl Moore’s excellent cross was met by a Brian Shortall header that required a good save from Chris O’Connor. Moore came close himself a few minutes later, but his free-kick went just over the bar. The home side had the ball in the net on 22 minutes only to see Jason McGuinness’ effort ruled out for

offside. The frustration of the disallowed goal didn’t last long however, as Pat Fenlon’s team took the lead seven minutes later. Gareth McGlynn played a perfect through-ball for Byrne who powered his way through and smashed the ball into the bottom right-hand cor-ner of Billy Brennan’s net. The champions dominated the play after taking the lead and on 37 minutes, they doubled their advantage. Mark Quigley set up former Derry City man McG-lynn who finished excellently into the top corner of

the UCD net to give Bohs a 2-0 lead at the break.UCD opened the second half brightly, but it was the home side that had the first real chance. Killian Bren-nan’s cross finding Byrne who saw his header hit the

upright. Despite this early pressure from Bohemians, UCD were given a lifeline from their ninth corner of the second half, Karl Moore’s quick short corner found second half substitute Chris Mulhall, and his pass to second year student Paul Corry was superbly

finished into the bottom corner. The Students attempted to apply serious pressure to Bohemians defence by bombarding the Bohemians goal with long balls, but Mark Quigley sealed victory for the Gypsies after great work from Paddy Madden in dispossessing UCD’s Paul O’Connor. Bohs now remain the only team left standing between Shamrock Rovers and their first league title in 16 years, while UCD now only have seven games remain-ing to climb to at least seventh place in the table in order to avoid the relegation play-off.UCD take on St. Patrick’s Athletic at the UCD Bowl at the time of print, the Students then have a break un-til Friday 24th when they play Bray Wanderers away in what is a crucial game in their bid to stay in the Airtricity League Premier Division.

UCD: Brennan, O’Connor, Shortall, Leahy, McMillan, Bolger, Ward (Mulhall 46), Corry, Kilduff, Rusk (Wil-son 82), Moore.

On to the EurosKeane, Doyle and Long speak to the tribuneInterview on page 18

taking to the Seas

Underwater life in Ucd

Interview Page 19

Greg ActonDalymount ParkBohemians 3 UCD 1Byrne 29 Corry 68McGlynn 37

Quigley 84

UCD Skipper Evan McMillan slides in on Bohemians’ Raffaele Cretaro as Paul Corry looks on Photograph: Barry Cregg (SPORTSFILE)