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July Johnson 2004 www.blotterrag.com Uva uvam vivendo varia fit W e D o n t R e n t P i g s ! But Get a Load of Eva Rubin and Jeff DeBoer’s Artwork. There’s Also Swell Stuff from Jaya Mangelou, Bob Funck, James Huff, Ian J. Holcomb, Silvanus Slaughter, and Michael Owen. Plus, a Big Fried Spam Sandwich, a New Dream Journal, and Marty Smith’s Paper Cuts. T h e B l o t t e r T h e B l o t t e r

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Page 1: The Blotter

July Johnson 2004www.blotterrag.comU v a u v a m v i v e n d o v a r i a f i t

W e D o n ’ t R e n t P i g s !

But Get a Load of Eva Rubin and Jeff DeBoer’s Artwork.There’s Also Swell Stuff from Jaya Mangelou, Bob Funck, James Huff,

Ian J. Holcomb, Silvanus Slaughter, and Michael Owen. Plus, a Big Fried Spam Sandwich, a New Dream Journal, and Marty

Smith’s Paper Cuts.

Th e B l o t t e rTh e B l o t t e r

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TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 2

The B l o t t e r i s :Johnny Pence . . . . . Gus McCraeMartin K. Smith . . . Publisher-at-Large,

Treasurer

J e n n y H a n i v e r . . Pseudonym

James C. Werner .....Minister ofInformation

Advertisers and Subscriptions Contact:

Martin K. [email protected]

919.286.7760

Submissions and Editorial Business to:

Jenny HaniverP.O. Box 175

Hillsborough, NC [email protected]

A l l c o n t e n t c o p y r i g h t 2 0 0 4by the ar t i s t , not the magazine .

Cover art: detail of a painting by EvaRubin, See pp. 4-5 for more from

this artist.

Cover Motto borrowed from LonesomeDove, by Larry McMurtry. The motto

doesn’t really mean anything at all, butwas also the motto of the Hat Creek

Cattle Company.

T h e B l o t t e r i s a p r o d u c t i o n o fT h e B l o t t e r M a g a z i n e , I n c . ,

D u r h a m , N C . I S S N 1 5 4 9 - 0 3 5 1

w w w . b l o t t e r r a g . c o m

We often use Bobco fonts, copyrightedshareware from the Church of the

Subgenius. Prabob. We also use MaryJane Antique and other freeware

fonts from Apostrophic Labs.

fThe Blotter is published monthly anddistributed one weekend in the firsthalf of each month. We enjoy a freecirculation throughout the Triangle,and in select locations in NC, VA andNashville, TN. Submissions are alwayswelcome, as are ad inquiries andopportunities to cross-promote inter-esting events.Subscriptions are available for $25/year (inthe US only). Send check or money order,name and address to The BlotterSubscriptions, 1010 Hale Street,Durham, NC 27705. Back issues are alsoavailable for $3.00 each. Inquire aboutavailability by e-mail: [email protected] magazine may contain typos or bad words

Items Worth Mentioningfrom the desk of Johnny Pence

Don’t Be a ChickenshitSome unexpected changes have happened which will land me in Athens,

GA, by September or October. So it would be nice if I could get those twoissues edited and laid out before I move, but I need you to send in your sub-missions so I can make that happen.

In fact, submissions have been lagging a little lately, and I suspect thatthis is largely due to the fact that people tend to be a little nervous aboutsubmitting their stuff to this magazine.

Rest assured that there is nothing to be afraid of, and you should drawfrom that well deep inside you and send Jenny a submission package. Shereplies to every e-mail she gets, and she has specific instructions not to mockyou or be rude in those replies.

A surprising amount of our submissions actually do end up in print, soit seems as if the right people are submitting, and submitting the right stuff.It’s just that for the next couple months, I’ll need a little bit more of it. Doyou think you can handle that?

Don’t WorryDespite the fact that I’m leaving town, The Blotter will carry on here in

the Triangle, Richmond, Charlottesville, and Nashville, with the same dis-tribution sites and numbers as before. Well, that is, until the debt collectorscatch up with us and we end up in jail. But barring prison, shame, andinconvenience, there shouldn’t be any change that you’d notice. And ofcourse, I’ll be distributing in Athens too.

Don’t ForgetBlotter subscriptions are for sale, and you should get one for your uncle

Phil or aunt Lurleen. I think they make better gifts than they do personalindulgences, but you never know—all you Pittsboro cats and kittens will nolonger be able to pick up the magazine down there, so indulge in a subscrip-tion. Sorry about that, but I can’t find a distribution site that’s friendlyenough to us to make it worth the drive. However, you could get it deliv-ered right to your house, which is all that much closer to your toilet tankanyhow.

[email protected]

Page 3: The Blotter

July 2004 The

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The Blotter Dream Journalreal dreams, real weird

i dreamed my friend was trying toshoot down a stealth fighter with acompound bow, but he didn't knowwhat he was doing. the arrows keptfalling on my car, poking holes in it. ipunched him in the nose really hardbecause he was going to just leavethe holes there and not tell me–thatslacker. but it just happened that i hada bow and arrows in my car, so i gotthem out and showed him how toshoot properly.

—D.S., Hillsborough

I am lying in bed with my lover. Thebed is in a grassy field that slopesdown to the ocean. Instead of abeach, there is a highway along thedeep ocean just a few feet aboveocean level. There are tall dark bluehill-like waves slowly moving towardthe shore. I check the unexplainedswollen lump in my lower body. Then Idiscover a larger equally firm lumpinside my intestines that I can feelthrough my soft lower belly skin. Itmust be cancer. I tell my lover that Iwant him to know the truth. I haveserious cancer and I will not bearound much longer. I tell my loverthat the ocean is beautiful. A wavestarts to cross the highway with gran-ite blocks floating up on its steep face.The wave gently deflates itself onthe highway, depositing severalrefrigerator-sized granite blocks in themiddle of the road, obstructing traffic.

—R.G. RaleighPlease send excerpts from yourdream journals to Jenny at [email protected]. If nothingelse, we love to read them. Wewon’t publish your whole name.

t

The Withholdingby Silvanus SlaughterOriginally Published 1994, Sweet Life Press

He loved her like one holds a thing. Devoted in his way, cer-tainly, owning the responsibilities of proprietorship withoutfail, the bottom line being that he would always be able to

write the check regardless of whatever else he might not extend. Therewas something to that—measurable worth—and he never took it lightlyor dismissed its value.

One day a stranger stopped her in the plaza, and with a lyrical nod andgenerous smile remarked how deeply beautiful she seemed to him. "You don'teven know how incredibly beautiful you are," he added.

As she began to laugh more often, her husband grew withdrawn, con-tentious, but yes, still devoted, but to what she could not figure! To havingher? To knowing she would always behave a certain way, overlook his surli-ness, corroborate with him that they were the central figures in each other'sdream, and that regardless of what did or didn't happen on their side of thefence…. Well, at least they owned one.

She changed her hair. Took to wearing heels. Began painting with oils.The husband sank deeper into a gloomy silence.

A week later the stranger was waiting in the plaza for her with a bouquetof freshly cut roses. "Just because you're beautiful," he told her. He barteredfor nothing.

She came home and asked her husband why he had never told her she wasbeautiful. Why he'd criticized her hair ... ignored her paintings.

"I ... I was terrified I would lose you," he answered.

YSilvanus Slaughter authored many screenplays during his previous life in

L.A.; a recent Southern novel, sweet piece was published in 2003; his upcom-ing rock opera "The Constellations Compromised" is currently inproduction. His debut as writer-director, an encounter was televised nation-ally in 1995. He resides in Oxford and is currently at work on a new novel ofpsychosexual intrigue, Waylon in the Ruins of Rome.

Page 4: The Blotter

TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 4

E v a R u b i nEva Rubin will be showing at TempleBall Gallery in Carrboro from July9 until August 4. Opening recept ionon July 9 from 6-8 p.m.

These p ieces don�t have f irm t itles , butthe one at r ight dep icts the b irth ofAthena, who popped out of her pop�s headone day.

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July 2004 The

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Cu s t o m e r S e r v i c eRepresentative (CSR):Hello. My name is Susan.

I am your Touchstone Health CareCustomer Service Representative.This call may be recorded to ensurequality and compliance with federalregulations. How may I help youtoday?

Ralph: My name is Ralph and Iam calling to get an authorization fora medical procedure.

CSR: Ralph, are you a patient ora medical professional?

Ralph: Patient.CSR: Well, I am sorry, Ralph, but

Touchstone only authorizes proce-dures that are requested by a licensedphysician.

Ralph: But I was told by my doc-tor that I could directly request anassisted suicide from Touchstone.

CSR: Oh, yes sir, that is correct.Assisted suicide is an exempt proce-dure. We need only an automatedorder from your physician and yourverbal statement requesting the pro-cedure. Please give me your accountnumber, and I can verify your doc-tor’s automated request.

Ralph: 217-502-4569.CSR: Thank you. The verifica-

tion will only take a second.Ralph: While I am waiting, do

you mind if I ask you a few questions?CSR: Of course not. I am your

Touchstone customer service repre-sentative and happy to help in anyway I can.

Ralph: Why is assisted suicide anexempt procedure?

CSR: Assisted suicide is exemptbecause it does not require medicalintervention from a health careprovider. It is an in-home procedurethat patients may administer them-selves.

Ralph: You mean there is nomedical supervision at all? What partis “assisted”?

CSR: The term “assisted suicide”was first used around the turn of thecentury when physicians adminis-tered and monitored high-cost,inpatient, suicide procedures. Sincethat time research has proven thatself-administered suicide procedureshave identical outcomes to physician-assisted suicide and can be providedat a much lower cost. Although thephysician-assisted concept has beenobsolete for many years, we still referto the procedure as assisted suicide.

Ralph: If I administer the suicidemyself, why do I even need to use myhealth care plan?

CSR: It is the law, Ralph. Assistedsuicide procedures and methods areregulated by both federal and stategovernments. It is administeredunder END-A, the Early Need forDeath Act that was passed byCongress in 2020. Since that time,unapproved suicides are illegal andpunishable by fine and imprison-ment.

Ralph: What’s the reason forthat?

CSR: Unapproved suicides can behighly ineffective and often result inincomplete suicides. One incompletesuicide can leave a patient and his orher family with extremely high long-term health care costs. Ten years ago,Unregulated Incomplete Suicides(UIS) were threatening the viabilityof the entire Managed Universal CareSystem. On the other hand,Approved Assisted Suicide is the mostcost-effective medical procedure inthe history of healthcare. TheAdministration of END-A has nowestablished best-practice guidelinesand inexpensive toolkits that ensurean effective, safe suicide experiencefor about 98 percent of patients whoare eligible for the procedure.

Ralph: Well, I have always triedto follow the advice of my personalphysician.

CSR: Very wise, Ralph.Touchstone Healthcare encourages alleligible patients to use ApprovedAssisted Suicide. Most patients arehighly satisfied with the outcome andbenefit package....

Oh, good, I see your doctor’sorder is on my screen. Okay, I canmove to the authorization process.

Ralph: How does that work?CSR: I will ask you a series of

questions. I will record your answersfor privacy and compliance require-ments. Ready?

Ralph: I guess so.CSR: Okay. Ralph, state your

name, date of birth, and patientaccount number.

Ralph: Ralph Craven. Date ofbirth was 06/27/20. My accountnumber is 217-502-4569.

CSR: Ralph, what is yourphysician-approved END?

Ralph: What?

TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 6

Managed Healthcare in 2050:Touchstone Healthcare Corporationby Michael B. Owen

Page 7: The Blotter

CSR: What is your Early Needfor Death?

Ralph: I have Predicted GeneticTerminal Illness.

CSR: Has your physicianexplained what that means?

Ralph: Yes. It means that DNAtests have determined that I definitelywill die from something within threeto five years. It is not possible to pre-dict what disease will cause my death,but the DNA predictive test resultswere conclusive. My doctor said thethree- to five-year prognosis makesme eligible for Approved AssistedSuicide.

CSR: Ralph, did your physicianexplain the Suicide Benefit Package?

Ralph: Yes. In fact, the benefitpackage is what helped me make thedecision to go with assisted suicide.

The package is just too good to passup. My family will receive a SuicideChoice Rebate from TouchstoneHealthcare, and they will still collectmy life insurance.

CSR: Right, Ralph. For mostpeople it is a real win-win situation.Well, let me go ahead and e-mail youthe Patient Suicide Handbook andship out the Toolkit. The Handbookdescribes the procedure and tells youhow to prepare and what to expectfrom your assisted suicide. TheToolkit includes your choice of alethal dose of Endal or a reusablehandgun. If you choose the handgunoption, a family member must shipthe gun back to Touchstone withinthirty days or its cost will be deductedfrom your Suicide Choice Rebate.The Patient Suicide Handbook is alsoloaded with other practical informa-tion about crematoria and other

July 2004 The

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BRANCH’SCHAPEL HILL

BOOKSHOPand

T h e B l o t t e rpresent

Our Latest

Serious Literary Event

f r i d ay , j u ly 237 : 0 0 p .m .

Every Month, join past andpresent Blotter authors, artists,poets, and special guests. Openmike readings follow.

(Sign-up for open spaces, 5 minutetime limit for open mike readers)

Also at Branch’s in the near future:

July 13, 7:30 PM Adam Braver—Divine Sarah | July 15 7:30 PM BillMorris—Saltwater Cowboys | July 18,2:00 PM Karin Gillespie—Bet YourBottom Dollar | July 25, 2:00 PMSarah Messer—Red House w/ Intro byDaniel Wallace

branch’s chapelhill bookshop

243 s. elliott rd.in village plaza

968.9110www.branchsbookshop.com

h a v e y o u b e e n w o r k i n g o u t ?

s a r a j o b e r m a nRCST #190

registered cranioscral therapistby appointment only

919-688-6428 [email protected]

509 W. North St.Raleigh

834.8400

www.capfit.com

Altered ImageHair Designers, Inc.

1113 1/2 Broad StDurham, NC 27705

(919) 286-3732

CREATIVEMETALSMITHSDon H. Johnson | Kim Maitland117 E. Franklin St., Chapel Hill

919-967-2037 creativemetalsmiths.com

Page 8: The Blotter

resources that you might be inter-ested in. Shall I ship your Handbookand Toolkit today?

Ralph: Okay. And I will take theEndal option.

CSR: Excellent choice, Ralph.Your Handbook and completeAssisted Suicide Toolkit will arrive byUPS within 24 hours.

Ralph: Thanks.CSR: Is there anything else I can

help you with today, Ralph?Ralph: No thank you, Susan. You

have been very helpful. I’m sure I willbe quite satisfied.

The last time my friendsKurt and Amy were over,Amy picked up this cata-

logue, looked through it, and said“Oh, okay: train porn.” Sheshrugged and smiled. “Oh well; Ihave lots of ‘knitting porn’ at home.”

Let’s back up and explain, shallwe? Transit Gloria Mundi, out ofBaltimore, collects old train fans’home movies of trolley lines from the1940s and 50s, and edits them intovideos. They then sell them—at sub-stantial prices—to young train fans,

like me, who never got to see the oldtrolleys in their natural habitats.(Most of America’s trolley-car systemswere supplanted by buses in thedecades after World War II.) Theyalso offer videos of some foreign sys-tems, and of the new “light rail” linescropping up round the country,“light rail” being the modern yuppi-fied name for a trolley car.

Catalogues will be catalogues,regardless of what they’re selling, withprose that sometimes seems to havedrunk a little too much caffeine.“Sacramento Northern: Relive thedays of the midwestern interurbans intheir prime. No Kidding! If yourvision of the interurban is trains ofheavy wooden arch-window carslooking fresh from the paintshop,rumbling slowly through tree-shadedcity streets before racing across theopen countryside, then this tape willallow you to realize your vision inmotion and gorgeous color. (Ordercode SNI, color, 50 min-utes…$39.95.)” I’m able to tune outthe salesman B.S. and enjoy the filmsthemselves.

They truly are enjoyable. They’retime capsules; it’s not some moviebacklot costumed as the Fifties, it isthe 1950s. Girls in poodle skirts,matrons in Mamie Eisenhower hats;the men in ties and suitcoats and pri-vate-eye fedoras. Plump Packards

TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 8

Paper CutsBooks You Might Not Have Readby Martin K. Smith

Transit Gloria Mundi Trolley & Light RailVideo Catalog (Baltimore, MD. Spring 2004)

“No thank you, Susan. Youhave been very helpful. I’m sure

I will be quite satisfied.”

Michael B. Owen lives in ChapelHill and is a member of the MentalHealth Association of Orange County.He believes in fostering mental health asa way of combating mental illness.

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July 2004 The

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and Studebake r s , t a i l f i nnedOldsmobiles and Cadillacs passmovie marquees announc ing“WILLIAM HOLDEN IN STALAG17” or “CLAUDETTE COL-BERT—CLEOPATRA—GRANDSPECTACLE,” and Sinclair stationswith the green dinosaur emblem,offering gas at 25 cents per gallon.The streets are bustling and thedowntown stores all open—shoppingmalls have not yet risen to vampirizeaway the urban lifeblood. The trol-leys themselves are beauties: Most ofthem are a 1930s model called the“PCC ca r, ” f o r Pre s iden t s’Conference Committee, a think tankof trolley bosses that commissionedthe design. They’re streamlined inthat lush, curvy 1930s style thatinformed the Chrysler Building, JeanHarlow’s gowns, and Flash Gordon’srocket ships. PCCs in fact look ratherlike one of Flash’s dreadnoughts,albeit with wheels and a trolley pole,sailing majestically down the middleof the street. They even have a pair ofstylized chrome wings flanking theheadlight.

The music and narration can beas cheesy as those old CoronetInstructional films from our school-days. Steel City Traction 2—West EndStory opens with a triumphant fanfareand a newsreel-announcer voicedeclaiming “Pittsburgh, Pennsyl-vania!—where the Allegheny andMonongahela Rivers join to form theOhio! Home to one of the largestU.S. streetcar systems of the postwarera!” No matter; a little retro-fro-mage just adds to the fun.

Watching closely, you can seesome of the old trolleys' drawbacks.

Here's a scene from Carvey Davis'sBaltimore Streetcar Films: Falls Road,on a day in early spring (judging bythe bare trees and watery sunlight).Two lanes run in each direction, withtrolley tracks in the inner lanes. Anoutbound Mount Washington carpauses to set down a matron (in aMamie Eisenhower hat). Trolleys,however, cannot leave their tracksand pull to the curb like a bus.(Actually they can leave their tracks;but trust me, you really don’t wantthem to.) So Mamie must crossanother lane of traffic to reach thesidewalk. A panel truck obliginglystops for her—but heaven help thepoor dear if she tried it today. She’dbe promptly splatted by some franticlate-for-yoga soccer mom in a mini-van, or a drunk frat boy in theHumvee his daddy bought him.Then of course would come the law-suits….

You’ll also note how much infra-structure trolleys need: tracks to runon, overhead wires for power, gener-ating stations to feed the wires. Manylines had stretches of private right-of-way, with embankments, trestles andproperty-tax bills. Pittsburgh’s sys-tem had tunnels, Baltimore’s a bunchof drawbridges. The biggest reasonfor the trolleys’ demise, though, iseasily seen: Packards and Oldses andCaddys (oh my). In shot after 50sshot, the trolleys are surrounded bythem, putting me in mind of an olddinosaur perplexed and peeved byhordes of little smartass egg-suckingprotomammals constantly underfoot.Nearly everyone who could drive, did(and still does), out to the new sub-urbs. Ridership dwindled, operating

costs did not; the private for-profittrolley companies went bankrupt,and city governments had to takeover operations or be left transitless.Public officials are wary of spendingthe public’s tax money (unless theycan spend it on themselves and notget caught), so the economics of busconversion made sense. Yes, therewas that GM/Firestone conspiracy,where their proxy company NationalCity Lines bought trolley systems andbus-ified them; and yes, IMHO, itwas illegal and a Bad Thing; but itwas exploiting a trend that would’vehappened anyway.

The last trolley line in my home-town, Washington DC, closed justmonths after I was born (though I’msure there’s no connection betweenthe two events). By the time I wasold enough to notice stuff, theremaining traces were few but fasci-nating: old tracks in the streets;subway-style entrance stairs to theDupont Circle station, where the linedived down into a tunnel under thepark; and crumbling trestles inwooded bluffs above the Potomac,where that last line ran on privatetrackage out to Cabin John amuse-ment park. The 2004 cataloguementions that their next release willcover the Washington system. It’s onmy shopping list, no matter howmuch hyper-java’ed prose they fan-fare over it.

TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 10

Marty Smith is publisher of TheBlotter, and apparently anunabashed train nerd. Live and letlive, I reckon.

Page 11: The Blotter

Iknew I would do this piecewhen I saw that Wozniak E.Concise had sent me an e-mail.

While I’ve long been fascinated by theaccidental art inherent in spam, havingseen the name Wozniak E. Concise, Isaw my duty to share this art with you.

The bodies and subject headingsof e-mails are pure genius, both asDada poetry and as text that is writ-ten for the sole purpose of evadingspam filters, but we’ll save the bodiesand subjects for another time.

Today, we examine fake names.For several months, I deliberately didnot delete any e-mail from my Yahooaccount. I collected about 200 spams,and culled the herd to the best fakenames. Herewith, the cream of thecrop of fake names. RooseveltEzekwo, you’ve made us proud.

Folks, I wouldn’t recommend youtry this at home. Bear in mind that Ihad to sift through 200 just to get thislittle list.

July 2004 The

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WAREHOUSE BLUES SERIESSUMMER ����Whoever said the summertime blues is abad thing? Come on down to West Morganstreet in Durham� NC and chill out withsome cool blues on Friday evenings all sum�mer long � you never know who mightshow up���The Warehouse Blues Series isgraciously sponsored by the City ofDurham�

will carry on every other Friday through the summerat THE WEST VILLAGE COURTYARD��� West Morgan Street (near Main) inDURHAMFREE PARKINGFREE ADMISSIONSPONSORED BY THE DURHAM HERALDand the CITY OF DURHAM�

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10 FREE Fridaysof after hours blues from Music Maker artists.

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Page 12: The Blotter

TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 12

Jeff de Boer is a Calgary-based art ist, descendent from a longl ine of metalsmiths. He is known for carefully crafted work ing su itsof armor for cats and mice (a su it of cat armor will appear in theupcoming Catwoman movie) , armor ties and sword-handled briefcases,rocket lamps, and pop-culture ray guns.

w w w . j e f f d e b o e r . c o m

This page: Briefcase forCorporate V ik ing Raider,Ray Derringer, FlashGordon Gas Mask

opposite: DuchessMouse, Venus of Venus,Persian Cat Helmet

Page 13: The Blotter

July 2004 The

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E v e r y b o d y w e a r s s o m e k i n d o f a r m o r

Jeff De Boer

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TheB l o t t e r July 2004 page 14

SubmitThe Blo t terNeeds and Wants Your Contribution

So Give It UpWe prefer e-mail submissions in all cases,

and they go [email protected]

or paper copies can go to

Jenny HaniverPO Box 175

Hillsborough, NC 27278!

Send us:

Short prose (stories andnonacademic essays),

Poetry, Photojournalism/-essay, Journalism that goes beyond or

beneath what you might findelsewhere,

Comix, and Fine art that would reproduce well

on this type of paper.

Guidelines and Administrativia:

Do not send original work of anykind! Your submissions will not

be returned.

Lo-res images may be attached toe-mail submissions, but no other

attachments. Paste all text into thee-mail body or send paper copies

to the P. O. box above.

We will not type anything for you.Handwritten stuff is really not

considered; we need an electroniccopy of all text, and you have to

supply it.

An e-mail address or reply SASE isrequired before we will respond.

Try to send stuff that is somehowresonant with what we have

already published.

We strive to be apolitical. Bearthat in mind.

You keep all copyrights but allowus to print your work one time.

There is no payment yet.

"Cinda-fuckin-rella"by Jaya Mangelou

You would think a "Pick 3" winningin Georgia's state lotteryWould help a ho stop her hoin'Yet still I walk down Peachtree

Never schooled in the ways of classto new teachers my cash flowedDesigning women made me lookas though I had never ho'ed

One chunk of cash went to dictionOne to the latest fashionsOne went to learnin' good mannersthree pygmalion passions

With speech and dress and etiquitteI was the belle of the ballI once sucked dicks for cashAnd yet I fooled them all

But fall every glass slipper mustWhether it lights up or notThose limousines became punkinsA damn lie is what I bought

So if a ho wins "Pick 3"she betta be a cynicIt's like turning left on PiedmontFrom Peachtree during Freaknick

Roundy Roundsby Bob Funck

Through sleep,…Slowly penetrating,

The sound of engines racing

…I surface to the light of the screen,One motor failing, Spitting smoke…

…OK, I'm here,

Lazy sofa summer sunday Afternoon.

Nothing to do and no one to please,Shades drawn for cool and dark.

Just right for the depressed.It's Michigan,

Lap 263,And the 6 is running fourth.

Jaya Mangelou is a Nashville dragqueen. She has performed livearound town and is the author of JustPublish Some of My Poetry ‘Fore IDiiiiie and the forthcoming I KnowWhy the Tied-Up Dog Barks.

Bob Funck and James Huff didn’tsupply a bio.

Ian J. Holcomb is a frightening littlefellow with a mind full of spiders.

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July 2004 The

B l o t t e rpage 15

The BlotterMagazine has two

VIP tickets toFloydFest 3, Aug.13-15, and we’re

going to givethem away!

“VIP” means tix for all 3Days, Backstage Access,

Limited Stage Access, FreeCamping and Parking,and a Ton of Merch.

Check out Blotterrag.comand purchase a $2 “virtual

raffle ticket” securelythrough PayPal. Doubleyour chances to win by

purchasing a subscription.Chances of winning depend on number ofentries. Winner chosen at random from allentries recieved. Online “virtual raffle” salesare the only eligible entries. Contest ends atmidnight, July 23. Winner chosen by noonon July 24 and will be notified by e-mail.Tickets will be mailed to the address provid-ed. Contest is open to everybody over 18,but Marty, John, and Jenny will not enter.

on road south inscotlandby James Huff

stayed up all night again

yesterday happened on its owntoday came before being ready at dawntomorrow hangs out all alone

on the t in bostonon the m in parison the el in philly

playing bass on 25th & snydersinging words no one hearswaiting externallysleeping through life's events

8 feb 04

Statue of Libertyby Ian J. Holcomb

Me, more or less somber, me alsostupid. I care. I'm brave. I stand up

for myself and bow and scrape.There is only me in me, only the me

and the dark hole of the fear of death.When I'm drunk I bounce recklesslyoff the walls. I drive recklessly, yes,

I drink and drive. Doesn't everybody?I drink and bounce up and down

and drive home in wretched recklessnesslike so much wretched refuse.

Win VIPAccess atFloydFest!

Page 16: The Blotter