The Baby Wait: Lessons Learned while Trying to Become a Mum

7/29/2019 The Baby Wait: Lessons Learned while Trying to Become a Mum

1/13


2/13

Disclaimer

This book is designed to increase knowledge, awareness andunderstanding of fertility issues. It is not intended to replacethe advice that your own doctor can give you. If you areconcerned by any of the issues raised in this book make sureyou consult your GP, who is there to help you.

Whilst every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy

of the information and material contained in this book, never-theless it is possible that errors or omissions may occur in thecontent. The author and publishers assume no responsibilityfor and give no guarantees or warranties concerning the accu-racy, completeness or up-to-date nature of the informationprovided in this book.


3/13

The Baby Wait

Lessons Learned While Trying to Become a Mum

Lyn Sharkey


4/13

Melody CoolIve see a million bridges in my time and crossed every one ofthemWith no trouble at allIve had trials and tribulations, heartaches and pains

Survived em all baby

Im stillMelody and Im still cool

Excerpt from Melody Cool by Prince and the New Power Generation,

Grafitti Bridge, Lead Vocals Mavis Staples (Paisley Park/Warner Bros, 1990)


5/13

ix

Contents

Preface ...................................................................................................... xiii

1 Preparing for Pregnancy ............................................................. 1Mr Right ............................................................................................. 1The Three-Month Plan ................................................................ 1

Charting Methods..................................................................... 2Visit a Nutritionist.................................................................... 10

Vitamins, Minerals and Supplements............................... 13Tea, Coffee, Green Tea and Herbal Tea.......................... 18Detox.............................................................................................. 19Superfoods for Health and Fertility.................................... 21Exercise.......................................................................................... 30Stress............................................................................................... 30Health Check.............................................................................. 33Smoking......................................................................................... 34

Alcohol and Drugs.................................................................... 36Diabetes and Gestational Diabetes................................... 37

You Are Ready to Try .................................................................. 39

2 Six Months On and Im Not Pregnant Yet ........................ 41Feeling Stressed and Frustrated ................................................ 41Back to Your GP ............................................................................. 42

Blood Tests and Scans............................................................. 42Selecting Your Fertility Specialist ........................................... 43

NaPro Technology..................................................................... 45


6/13

Contents

x

Diagnosis, Diagnosis, Diagnosis ................................................ 47Tests .................................................................................................... 50

Laparoscopy and Dye.............................................................. 50Antral Follicle Count............................................................... 51Anti-Mullerian Hormone Testing........................................ 51Chromosomal Testing ............................................................. 52

Treatments ....................................................................................... 53Intrauterine Insemination...................................................... 53

In Vitro Fertilisation................................................................. 54Complementary Therapies ........................................................ 55

Acupuncture................................................................................ 55Craniosacral Therapy............................................................. 56Reflexology................................................................................... 57Maya Womb Massage............................................................. 58

The Internet ...................................................................................... 59

Conclusion ......................................................................................... 59

3 Fertility Challenges ....................................................................... 63Miscarriage......................................................................................... 63Missed Miscarriage ......................................................................... 63Ectopic Pregnancy .......................................................................... 64

Cornual (Interstitial) Pregnancy......................................... 64

Molar Pregnancy ............................................................................. 64Fibroids ............................................................................................... 65Polycystic Ovary Syndrome ....................................................... 66Endometriosis ................................................................................... 67Displaced Womb ............................................................................ 69Tubal Problems................................................................................ 71Asherman Syndrome .................................................................... 71

Over-Active Immune System .................................................. 72Food Intolerances ........................................................................... 74Yeast ..................................................................................................... 75Cushing Syndrome ......................................................................... 75


7/13

Contents

xi

Chromosomal Problems .............................................................. 75Male Infertility Issues ................................................................... 77

Sperm Health.............................................................................. 77Retrograde Ejaculation............................................................ 78Varicoceles.................................................................................... 78Blocked Vas Deferens/Epididymal Obstruction........... 78Male Bacterial Infections....................................................... 79

Unexplained Infertility ................................................................ 80

Conclusion ......................................................................................... 81

4 Emotional Layer Cake ................................................................. 83The Worst Three Weeks of My Life ..................................... 84Damn Periods ................................................................................... 90I Have Had a Miscarriage or Missed Miscarriage ............. 91Why Has This Happened to Me

Dont I Deserve a Baby? ........................................................ 93Everyone Around Me Is Getting Pregnant andIts Hard to Deal With Am I a Bad Person? .............. 93

My Friends Baby Is Due When Mine ShouldHave Been ................................................................................... 94

Where Has My Self-Confidence Gone? ............................... 96Nobody Talks About It ............................................................... 97

Why Does Nobody Ask Us About WhatWe Are Going Through? ...................................................... 99

Who Can We Ask for Support? .............................................. 100Other Peoples Expectations, Comments and

Insensitivities .............................................................................. 101I Feel so Desperate ........................................................................ 103My Relationships Are Changing .............................................. 104

If We Dont Have a Baby, Will My Husband BeSorry He Married Me? ........................................................... 106

How Do I Ensure that My RelationshipDoesnt Suffer? ........................................................................... 107


8/13

Contents

xii

How Hard Are Fertility Drugs? ............................................... 108How Long Do We Keep Trying?............................................. 110Why Should We Keep Going? ................................................. 111Am I Too Old? ................................................................................ 111Money Is Holding Us Back ....................................................... 112Can We Take a Break from Trying? ....................................... 114Am I Wasting My Life with this Obsession? ..................... 115What if We Never Have a Baby? ............................................ 115

I Want to Give Up......................................................................... 116We Have Been Told that I Cant Have a Baby and

I Cant Accept It ....................................................................... 117Considering Adoption .................................................................. 119Surrogacy ............................................................................................ 121Pomegranate.ie (Financial Help for Couples

Who Need IVF) ....................................................................... 124

Lets Hear It for the Boys ............................................................ 125Optimism and Positivity ............................................................. 126

5 How to Help a Friend with Fertility Issues........................ 127Do I Ask Her About Her Problems? ..................................... 128How Do I Help Her When She Has Had a

Miscarriage? ............................................................................... 129

How Do I Tell Her that I Am Pregnant? ............................. 131How Do I Help Her Deal with My Pregnancy? ............. 132How Do I Help Her Deal with the Birth of My Baby? ... 133What If I Put My Foot In It? .................................................... 134How Do I Help My Friend through Long-Term

Fertility Challenges? ................................................................ 135

Conclusion .............................................................................................. 137Glossary .................................................................................................... 139Recommended Reading .................................................................... 145Useful Websites .................................................................................... 147


9/13

xiii

Preface

Hi, and thank you so much for picking up my little book. Myname is Lyn, and my lovely husband, Dessie, and I have beentrying to successfully carry a baby for nine years now. As Idont actually have a baby in my arms yet, I am sure that youare wondering what advice I can possibly offer. The thing is,I absolutely believe that if I knew at the beginning all that Iknow now we would have our baby already. A huge amountof our time has been wasted flailing in uncertainty, due tolack of diagnosis and lack of our own knowledge, so I feelcompelled to ensure that this wont happen to you and hope-fully save some of your precious time. It is my hope that I canpass on all that I have learned along the way and help you withsome practical advice and friendly support. Although I am not

a fertility expert, I am now an expert on my own fertility andI would urge you to become your own expert too.

We are really optimistic at the moment and have finallysolved a lot of our problems (unfortunately it can happen thatyou have a combination of problems). It is actually only by aprocess of elimination that you discover what your issues are,so it is important to know what you need to eliminate. Of

course, it would have been easier if I had gotten to this stagein my thirties but maybe if I have learned something along theway that will help someone else I can live with that. Everyonesays that as soon as your baby arrives you forget all of the pain


10/13

Preface

xiv

that went beforehand. I dont really want to forget. I want totry to do something to help relieve the stress and sometimesunbearable grief that thousands of women and men live withevery day, unnoticed by the rest of the world. Even perfectlyfertile couples can take up to a year to conceive and this canbe confusing and stressful. I also hope that if more peoplecomprehend what we go through then this subject wont besuch a taboo in future.

When Dessie and I first decided that we were ready tostart our family, I was totally naive and it did not even crossmy mind that I wouldnt fall pregnant as soon as we wantedto. I have always been maternal and can actually rememberthe first time I felt that I seriously needed to have a baby. Iwas carrying a large bag of potatoes on my hip and realisedthat actually there was something else that belonged there.

That might sound silly but its absolutely true! Anyway, wedidnt come home with the expected honeymoon baby and,after a few months, it began to slowly dawn on me that itwouldnt be as easy as I had thought. It was definitely a slowdawning because I just couldnt believe (and didnt really wantto accept) that this was happening to us. We have since beenthrough the mill in our quest to bring a little mini-me or mini-

Dessie into the world. With hindsight, I can see that we knewso little about fertility in general and that so much time couldhave been saved if we had been better prepared and informed.

When you think about it, we are taught biology at schoolbut not much about fertility. It doesnt occur to us that weneed to know anything (apart from the obvious how to )

because it will surely happen naturally once we are ready,as it does for millions of women all over the world everyday. However, there are some simple things that we can dobefore we even start trying to conceive which will improveour general health and help us to better manage our stressful


11/13

Preface

xv

lifestyles, which arguably are contributing to increasing infer-tility statistics. Experts are forecasting that one in four coupleswill face challenges in conceiving within the next ten years.Wouldnt it be great if we could change that? I hope that youfind the advice in Chapter 1 useful. You will already recognisesome of the tips and some will be new, but I hope that mylaymans explanations, combined with my own experience ofhow they helped me in the end, will encourage you to under-

stand why they are necessary for everyone to consider. Ourdiets could be improved and our stress levels reduced, andthis can only help to ensure healthier babies. I can assure youfrom my own experience that while they wont solve everyfertility problem there is they will solve some of them andthey will definitely save you invaluable time in the long run.

I know that once you are prepared, most of you will

conceive quickly. However, it can sometimes take longer thanyou would wish. Trying to conceive and all of the emotionsthat are involved can be a frustrating experience at times, soI have also attempted to remember all of those questions Iasked myself and all of those feelings I had along the way, sothat readers who are feeling upset or stressed by the processcan have this little book to dip into to get some answers and

support. You are not losing your mind and you are not theonly one who has gone through this endurance test.

It would be an absolute bonus if this book also helped toinform family, friends, doctors, nurses and therapists in someway about what their loved one or patient is going through.Being treated successfully by a doctor or therapist must be a

two-way relationship. Speaking from a patients point of view,it is easier to trust someone when they meet us halfway withsome degree of understanding. For doctors and therapists, it isimportant that their patients are open and honest with themso they can treat them properly.


12/13

Preface

xvi

Infertility is a subject which is not really discussed comfort-ably for some reason. However, there is no reason why thisshould be the case, especially as fertility is such a huge andnatural part of everyones life. This reluctance only makesthose of us suffering through infertility feel as though peoplethink it is something to be ashamed of. We can make a change,however, by speaking openly on the topic and reducing theseunnecessary stresses will certainly benefit us.

I sincerely hope that most of you wont need to read pastChapter 1 for yourselves, although reading the entire book willhelp you to understand what other women are living with.

I wish each of you lots and lots of love and joy in your life.Whatever happens along the way, dont forget to laugh everyday (or as often as you can) and surround yourself with goodpeople. Remember always that life is a gift and that means

yours, and not just the little dote you are dreaming of holdingin your arms.

Luv Lyn xxx

Clickhere to order Paperback

Clickhere to order eBook version

Clickhere to order Kindle version
http://www.orpenpress.com/the-baby-wait-lessons-learned-while-trying-to-become-a-mum.htmlhttp://www.orpenpress.com/the-baby-wait-lessons-learned-while-trying-to-become-a-mum-ebook.htmlhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Baby-Wait-Lessons-ebook/dp/B00CRBHN96http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Baby-Wait-Lessons-ebook/dp/B00CRBHN96http://www.orpenpress.com/the-baby-wait-lessons-learned-while-trying-to-become-a-mum-ebook.htmlhttp://www.orpenpress.com/the-baby-wait-lessons-learned-while-trying-to-become-a-mum.html


13/13

Documents

The Baby Wait: Lessons Learned while Trying to Become a Mum