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Picking up chicks is easy, guys.You just gotta know how to do it.
relaxOr don’t, actually.
If you can’t relax and your teeth chatter like castanets,
well then don’t relax. Stay uptight. Oddly enough, it may
be the best thing you have going for you. I know this
sounds crazy. But it just so happens to be true. Chicks say
that when a man approaches them in an awkward, nervous
manner, it makes them feel less nervous.
#. 1
When you find out you are the only ones left in the restaurant, nervous laughter can overpower nerves and make you one lucky man.
That’s me, doing it wrong.
smileIt’s like a caress but with your mouth.
Most men have no idea what incredibly groovy things
smiles are.
When you approach a woman with an intense, serious
wexpression on your puss, you frighten her. She doesn’t
know whether you’re going to ask directions to the nearest
deli or snatch her purse.
To many women, a man’s smile is almost a sexual thing–
sort of as if you’re reaching out to them, caressing them
with the expression on your face.
#. 2
Say her nameAnd don’t forget it.
Most men have no idea what incredibly groovy things
smiles are.
When you approach a woman with an intense, serious
wexpression on your puss, you frighten her. She doesn’t
know whether you’re going to ask directions to the nearest
deli or snatch her purse.
To many women, a man’s smile is almost a sexual thing–
sort of as if you’re reaching out to them, caressing them
with the expression on your face.
Say her nameAnd don’t forget it.
Because the most rewarding moment in a man-woman
relationship is when the other person first says your name.
It’s a sign of affection. Think about it. Think how nice it is
when a girl you’re just getting to know calls you Bob or Bill
or Harry. It’s nice. It’s tender.
#. 3
“Call me Bob, Bill or Harry, just don’t call me crazy.”
“Call me Bob, Bill or Harry, just don’t call me crazy.”
“Did you know that the Pacific tree frog understands the significance and power of its mating call and is therefore very eager to put it to use? I mean, it’s just amazing.”
Talk about your accomplishments
But there’s no need to embellish.
If you play the bass guitar, or even if you’re the world’s
greatest living authority on the mating habits of frogs,
let chicks know about it. If you run a quarter mile in
forty-eight seconds, you’re not the only one who finds this
interesting. Girls dig accomplishment. To them it’s sexy.
#. 4
Talk about your accomplishments
If you play the bass guitar, or even if you’re the world’s
greatest living authority on the mating habits of frogs,
let chicks know about it. If you run a quarter mile in
forty-eight seconds, you’re not the only one who finds this
interesting. Girls dig accomplishment. To them it’s sexy.
Mean BusinessYou don’t need to be brilliant or dazzling. All you have to do is say something. Anything.
One question you have to ask yourself about picking up
girls is, do you really want to pick them up? If your answer
is a resounding “YES!” then you have a lot going for you.
A woman will sense you mean business and it will turn her
on. Why? Because a woman is a very cautious creature.
Nothing enrages her more than when a man, who’s already
made a pass at her, backs down at the last moment. It
makes her feel like a fool.
#. 5
I just wasn’t sure about this chick.
I generally send an extra-dirty vodka martini. If she’s not into that, she’s not the girl for you.
LOOK AROUNDIn a restaurant, your approach can have a special dignity about it.
For example, one ancient and corny gambit that can still
work like a charm is to use a waiter as your messenger.
Have him bring a drink to a pretty girl you spot across the
room. You may think it’s dumb, but women really fall for
this razzle-dazzle. They’ve seen it in the movies. They’ve
read about it in romantic novels. It’ll make them think you
are suave and cultured and dignified.
#. 6
HEAT HER UPThink of a woman as being somewhat like an ice cube.
In a restaurant, your approach can have a special dignity about it.
For example, one ancient and corny gambit that can still
work like a charm is to use a waiter as your messenger.
Have him bring a drink to a pretty girl you spot across the
room. You may think it’s dumb, but women really fall for
this razzle-dazzle. They’ve seen it in the movies. They’ve
read about it in romantic novels. It’ll make them think you
are suave and cultured and dignified.
HEAT HER UPThink of a woman as being somewhat like an ice cube.
She has to be melted. And if you want to be the
one who gets anywhere with her, then you’ve got to
supply the warmth that will melt her. So, be warm.
Be pleasant. Be charming. If you act like a cold, rude
bastard, you’ll just make her colder and icier.
#. 7
Taking sips of her drink will help her warm up to you.
“May I help you relieve your horniness?”“May I help you relieve your horniness?”
Know she’s hornyThese days, women get horny too. Does that shock you? It shouldn’t. Women have come a long way recently.
It’s true. They sit home, all by themselves, and think how
terrific it would feel to hop into bed with someone. Anyone.
Just to relieve their horniness.
They’re learning they have the same right to sexual
freedom that men have. In fact, I think it’s going to be
harder for men to adjust to the sexual revolution than it is
for women.
#. 8
Know she’s horny
It’s true. They sit home, all by themselves, and think how
terrific it would feel to hop into bed with someone. Anyone.
Just to relieve their horniness.
They’re learning they have the same right to sexual
freedom that men have. In fact, I think it’s going to be
harder for men to adjust to the sexual revolution than it is
for women.
Experiment
Your clothing says more than you think.
Try on some of the new wild clothes. Bell-bottoms and
English boots and wide ties. Wear a body shirt or leather
dungarees or a groovy vest. Be dramatic. Leave the top
button of your shirt open. Wear shades or those new
rimless glasses.
Think sexy. Think, I am a virile male animal. If I make
love to that cute girl, she’ll get weak in the knees.
#. 9
An animal-print thong can send a good impression. It can also make sitting uncomfortable.
“You’ve got a set of breasts that makes me dizzy.”
Make her feel specialWomen dream of being Cleopatra– someone so enchanting, so maddeningly sexy, wild horses couldn’t keep you away.
Now you know damn well that the way these girls would
like you to feel is not necessarily the way you’re going to
feel. Half of the time you want to pick up a girl it’s because
she’s got a set of breasts that makes you dizzy. Or the face
of a movie star. Or the hips of a belly dancer. Not because
she has some magnetic inner quality. Or whatever the hell
it is she wants you to flip over.
#. 10
Be yourselfNo technique can rival this.
Make her feel special
Now you know damn well that the way these girls would
like you to feel is not necessarily the way you’re going to
feel. Half of the time you want to pick up a girl it’s because
she’s got a set of breasts that makes you dizzy. Or the face
of a movie star. Or the hips of a belly dancer. Not because
she has some magnetic inner quality. Or whatever the hell
it is she wants you to flip over.
Be yourselfNo technique can rival this.
This is the greatest technique of all. You’re a pretty
important person. You’re interesting, sensitive, kind and
manly, and you dig chicks. And that’s plenty. The more
you adjust to being “plain old you,” the more successful
you will be.
If you’re not the wittiest guy in the world, then don’t try to
be Jerry Lewis. It just won’t look right on you.
#. 11
“I’m kind of a big deal in certain advertising circles. I’m sure you’ve seen the Wordstock ’09 campaign?”
“I’m kind of a big deal in certain advertising circles. I’m sure you’ve seen the Wordstock ’09 campaign?”
Now get out thereI’ve shared the best I’ve got, and if it works for me, it will work for you.
Good luck, men. I wish you all the success in the world. And I’m sure
you’re going to have it.
Now get out there
credits
Select copy from: How to Pick Up Girls! by Eric Weber
Art direction: Andrea Nelson, Zech Bard
Photos: Andrea Nelson
Special thanks to: WK12, Curtis Pachunka, Ademar Matinian,
Michael Frediani, Proofreading and Jim Riswold.