The Alchemist Weekly July 14th, 2011

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The Alchemist Weekly welcomescoherent freelance submissions.

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Albany ● Corvallis ● Lebanon ● PhilomathVOLUME 4 NUMBER 184:53 ● JULY 12, 2011

The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily

represent the thoughts, views, or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC.

V O I C E Opinions and Editorials, be they ours or yours, this is where they be.2 | Symposium

W O R D Journalists call them features; we say it’s the word.6 | da Vinci Days descends upon Corvallis

B U M P It’s the calendar of all things Albany, Corvallis, Lebanon, and Philomath. 8 | Alchy Picks

F U N B I T S As if your smart phone wasn’t distracting enough.

11 | Crossword and Sudoku 13 | Weekly Horoscope

L I T E R AT I This is the home for local fiction, poetry and prose.14 | Art Heals

Editorial Editor: Courtney Clenney Staff Writers: Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor: Noah StroupContributors: Compere, Coyote Kate, Dirt-stir, Amy Edinger, Josh Goller, Lisa Wells, Marnie Ernst Zoa#1 Humans: Jimbo Ivy, Sarah Sullivan, Craig Wiroll

art Art Tag Team: Ney Ney/So Stro Layout Tag Team Coco/Nono Cover photo by Stanley Tollett

advErtising Director of Marketing Stanley Tollett Account Executive Noah Stroup

BusinEss Publisher Noah StroupThe Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339 541.224.6873

alchEmist mission As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Al-bany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis/Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves.

*The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are wel-come to take enough copies for your family.PrEvious issuEs: Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist Weekly.

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All content copyright 2011 The Alchemist Weekly

SYMPOSIUM VOICE

7 2 6 8 3 5 1 4 93 1 8 9 6 4 5 7 29 5 4 2 7 1 3 8 61 8 7 5 9 2 4 6 32 6 9 4 8 3 7 5 15 4 3 7 1 6 2 9 84 9 5 3 2 8 6 1 78 3 1 6 5 7 9 2 46 7 2 1 4 9 8 3 5

Breaking up is hard to doWe hadn’t been dating long

relative to most people, but our relationship was something very special. She made a lot of guys, as well as girls, happy but I didn't get jealous. I took personal satisfaction whenever she pleasured someone else.

She lived in Corvallis, Ore. and didn't always fit in with everyone. She was more interested in stating the truth and touting her opinion rather than being politically correct and pleasing everyone.

We've definitely had our ups and downs though. She wasn't very old, and at times she ruffled the feathers of some of the locals, rubbing them the wrong way. She never meant harm though, in fact her goal was to better the place she lived. In the end, she was an upstanding citizen who was well respected throughout the community and meant a lot of things to a lot of different people.

She will be sincerely missed.I try to look at all of the positive aspects

of the breakup though. The freedom of her not relying on me and my friends for infor-mation, no more of her constantly asking for money in order to survive, and no more running her around the entire city every Tuesday morning at 7 am.

If you haven't figured it out by now, the girl I was going steady with was The Alche-mist. She's not only gorgeous looking, but I was falling more and more in love with her content each and every week.

This breakup, her death, whatever it is, does carry many more negatives than posi-tives though. She was the only alternative option in town, and now people will be stuck getting with the main paper, I mean girl, in town. She is pretty old and stale, but

I heard she is getting cosmetic surgery, but compared to The Alchemist, it will be a Mi-chael Jackson nose-job at best.

I need a new girl. We all need a new girl. The problem is, it is going to take a long time to get over this one and her legacy will live on as the best girl I've ever had.

She was nothing without you though. The Readers are what made her so great, and I thank you for helping her grow from a socially awkward girl into a blossomed and elegant woman. Carry on her legacy and don't forget about the great times we have all shared.

As Abraham Lincoln probably never said: "You never forget your first."

Love,Craig

DISCSKATEGLASS

DISCSKATEGLASS

IndependentlyOwned

since 2006

1110 NW Van BurenCorvallis, OR541.754.4257

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • JULY 12, 2011 • 3

CORVALLIS VANITIES DIRTSTIR VOICE

Consolation and ContinuationImmeasurable thanks to the staff of The Al-

chemist for providing a venue and allowing an other than mainstream view of our community. For the last three+ years, Corvallis has had the opportunity to read about events, persons and outlooks that may not have found a wider me-dia exposure, except for the attentions of the Alchemist and those writers who chose to sub-mit these unique presentations. To the staff of The Alchemist, I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and can only give an under-statement of how much you all have given to the community. Thank you. Thank you.

How It IsI wrote on several topics during the life of

The Alchemist, and would like to provide some updates on a few of them. My focus during the tenure of Dirtstir was generally the logical conflicts I saw in actions of governments and persons in decision making positions. Accom-panying this was the confusion and continually reinforced lack of confidence in authorities I felt when watching the arbitrary enforcement of laws and statutes, and the logical disconnects I felt when observing these decisions and en-forcements.

So, for you the Reader, in all future obser-vations, I ask that you try to put subjective emotional responses aside, read everything ob-jectively, and look at the issues without getting pulled this way or that by what one has been conditioned to perceive as right or wrong, good or bad. Consider if the decision maker's logic is universally employed. See if it addresses the issue or conflict. Use some foresight to see what other conflicts may arise.

Where Some Topics Stand

I often commented on pharmacology and society: basically the control of society through drugs. Remember Jared Loughner, the young man arrested for the January Tucson shoot-ings? One court recently mandated the forced medication of the young man because he was perceived as a threat to himself and others. Soon after, another court rescinded the order, concerned that a stabilized Loughner may be perceived as capable of standing trial. The au-thority's flawed logic is that he may be tried as a sane person for acts he committed when totally kooked out.

I mentioned responsible gun ownership and legislation, including the topic of guns falling into the hands of Mexican drug cartels, and the violation of gun laws by our own authorities in attempts to limit the sales of types of weapons to U.S. citizens. Read about the recent ATF operation, "Fast and Furious," under which thousands of firearms were sold to question-able buyers, by order of the ATF, in the ATF's hopes that these weapons could be tracked. Essentially, the weapon disappears until its po-tential surfacing at a crime scene. Like last De-cember, when a Border Patrol agent was killed with a weapon sold under order of the ATF.

Sustainable energy was another favorite, hoping against abuse of state and federal sus-tainability programs resulting in huge un-expected costs to the state. Oregon recently shrank its sustainable energy rebate and pay-back programs, largely based on the manipu-lation of the programs by private enterprise. Logic in application was also a consideration. Efforts are stifled. Wind turbines in eastern

Oregon and Washington were taken off line recently because a water surplus put through the dams filled transmission capacity. A rest area south of Wilsonville is having a solar array built on the 27 acre area. It will be built on seven acres of arable land that instead of producing food and oxygen, will produce kilowatts. Nice trade. How about solar panels over the parking lot?

The guy nabbed for trying to bomb the Port-land x-mas tree, the guy pinched for bombing the Maryland recruiting center, and the guy questioned for lighting the mosque here in town on fire? I have no idea where the third guy is, last reported at Good Sam Hospital (psych ward?). The second guy is still on ice in Balti-more (7+months). Recent developments in the first guys case is a court decision by which the prosecuting FBI will only have to release to the defense the "unclassified" documents regarding the case. I guess we'll just have to trust the FBI on the "classified" stuff.

The debate over social acceptance (legaliza-tion) of hemp/marijuana is something I've watched. With a growing number of states le-galizing its medicinal use, countered by the ma-nipulation of production rules to enable black marketing, the 'medical' argument is growing thin. A renewed campaign for legalization is again not making any noticeable headway, and we are continuing to find huge marijuana grow-ing operations on state and federal lands, dam-aging ecosystems, and operated by people in the country illegally. Last June, Oregon passed leg-islation allowing hemp production, but no one has stepped forward.

Our military continues to be mired in mul-tiple oversea adventures, the media showing personal interest and 'we are winning'-type sto-ries that reinforce the idea we are being sapped and unsuccessful in Afghanistan, Iraq, and now Libya. Troop drawdown in Afghanistan will be countered by the entry of private security per-sonnel (mercenaries) hired and funded through the State Department (that way it doesn't ap-pear as a Defense cost). Our 'no troops in Libya' stance is shaking, and Iraq is quietly awaiting civil war.

The economy and money matters of the U.S. continue to founder. Trillions in economic as-sistance and very little new industry or real jobs created. To be a successful economy, we must make/produce/create something besides retail stores, fast food and franchises. Bailing out the 'too big to fail' folks has something to do with our debt ceiling. And the idiots in D.C. want you and me to incur more debt without increas-ing our ability to repay it. The mandatory health care laws and proposals to turn Medicare/Med-icade into a voucher system are simple means to further suck money from the people. There are so many more...

What's New?

Nothing is new, the games are the same as they ever were, only the names get changed to protect the guilty. Everything is simply part of the ongoing power struggle. I just tried to point out some of the more obvious or blatant manipulations that occur every day. We as a population are kept ignorant, easily swayed by overabundant media coverage of relatively in-consequential events, and I fear most folks pre-fer it that way.

-cJt [email protected]


Honeybees rarely make head-lines. that is, unless they are the africanized “killer” bees

that periodically induce widespread panic when another horror story of a fa-tal attack by the aggressive hybrid goes viral. however, it’s rare to hear more about plain, old honeybees than an an-ecdote about the virtues of the sweet, sweet honey they produce.

Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us?, a documentary directed by Taggart Siegel (The Real Dirt on Farmer John), exposes the viewer to an in-depth analysis of the honeybee’s cur-rent plight, one caused—as are many of the world’s organic ailments—by fac-tory farming and pesticides. In today’s Monsanto-centric food production cul-ture, huge swaths of land are dedicated to single crops, such as corn or soy or almonds in California. Without a va-riety of flora, honeybees cannot subsist in these areas and “colony collapse” has become rampant in America and other areas of the world dominated by indus-trial farming.

The casual or callous viewer may consider rectifying the decline in bees as a cause worthy of attention only by treehuggers and granola mamas. Who needs honey when we have more than enough high fructose corn syrup to sweeten our breakfast cereal? But Queen of the Sun, while honoring the culinary treasure honeybees have produced for millennia (honey found entombed within Egyptian pyramids is still ed-ible), focuses primarily on how the fu-ture of honeybees is entwined with the quality of our own, given that 40% of

food grown in the United States would not exist if not for the pollination hon-eybees exclusively provide.

Factory farming generates virtual honeybee deserts, devoid of the diver-sity in vegetation necessary to keep colonies alive and thriving. In response, corporate farmers employ migratory beekeepers to truck in millions of bees to pollinate huge field of homogenous crops such as almonds during the select few weeks such plants bloom.

Queen of the Sun avoids indulging in an overly preachy tone and instead fo-cuses on raising awareness both of the current situation primarily American and European bees face, while also il-lustrating the glories of bees and their link with humanity. Humans and bees find the same types of flowers and plants aesthetically beautiful and an olfactory pleasure, and colonies of bees (which act as a super-organism, a single entity) can be compared to monasteries in which denial of the self for the ser-vice of the greater good is paramount.

While informative (though at times repetitive), Queen of the Sun succeeds most in the use of beautiful imag-ery involving both serene nature shots (who doesn’t want to watch the sun pass through a golden honeycomb?) and even segments of hand-drawn and stop-motion animation. The result is a sleek and important documentary that stresses how bees really are our canaries in the coal mine, and without the pres-ervation of the symbiotic relationship between the bees and our food (and therefore between the bees and us) our future generations will feel the sting.

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ASK THE YOGINIDear Yogini: What is the most difficult yoga

pose to achieve? ~Aspiring Yogi

Dear Aspiring: I think Savasana is the most difficult pose to fully embrace. Savasa-na is corpse pose. Sava corpse, Asana pose: thus Savasana is the pose of the corpse. Savasana is letting go. Savasana is surrender. Savasana is giving ourselves true and com-plete relaxation at the end of our yoga prac-tice. Savasana is the willingness to come to an ending and to say goodbye with grace.

Our culture is ‘death-phobic.’ Yoga teach-ers sometimes avoid translating Savasana as corpse pose, because of our aversion to death and to endings. We don’t like to say goodbye. We avoid the topic of death. We consider endings failures. But there is an-other way to approach endings, Savasana teaches us a new way.

Abinivesha is the Sanskrit term for cling-ing to life. It is one of the primary yogic kleshas, or afflictions, that bar the way to fulfillment and enlightenment. Abinivesha is the root cause of all fear and all suffer-ing. Grasping and clinging to the pleasures of the moment prevents us from fully em-bracing the true possibility of being alive in the moment. To fully embrace Savasana, we must study Abinivesha as it is manifest in our life.

Yogis believe in reincarnation and re-birth. Death is perceived as an opportunity to return to union with the divine. Death is thus the possibility of a new beginning. The yogis claim that if we are lucky enough to be chanting the name of the divine when we die, that we may be granted enlighten-ment in our next rebirth. To find enlighten-ment now, we must be willing to surrender to the divine and to metaphorically die in the moment.

We practice Savasana at the end of ev-ery yoga practice. After breathing, twisting, sweating, stretching and chanting, we sur-render. We completely relax into the sup-port of the earth. In Savasana our breath itself becomes a chant. Listen to your in-hale and you will hear Hamsa ~ Who am I?; listen to your exhale and you will hear: Soham ~ I am that. Savasana is the oppor-tunity to ‘die while living,’ to surrender our consciousness to the greater consciousness: Who am I? I am that!

After Savasana we have the opportunity to be reborn. We return by deepening our breath, expanding our rib cages and abdo-mens. We are literally drawing Prana (life force) back into our bodies. Rising Prana invites the body to wiggle and stretch it’s way back to life. The spontaneous move-ment of reawakening from Savasana is a delicious yoga practice of its own.

Returning from Savasana is an oppor-tunity. Free of Abhinivesha, I am free to rewrite my life. I am free to say goodbye to what no longer serves me and embrace

what is arriving now. Everything is possible.Apart from the esoteric benefits, Savasa-

na allows your nervous system to integrate your yoga practice. The body literally learns in the rest. You shortchange your self and your progress if you skip Savasana.

In yoga classes, the teacher will set aside time for Savasana at the end of each class. If you have to leave early, stop your practice with sufficient time to allow yourself a few minutes of rest before you leave the room. Your work in Savasana is to stay present. When your mind begins to wander, no-tice where you’ve gone. Bow to that part of yourself that has wandered off (the planner, the parent, the worker…) and then return to witnessing the body and listening to your breath.

Use props in Savasana to help your body to relax. A bolster or rolled blanket under your knees will support your low back. A rolled towel or blanket under your neck will support your neck and shoulders. Covering up with a blanket will keep you warm.

Savasana can be particularly difficult in your home practice. Life calls loudly. We are commended for doing, but not for undoing. If you practice Savasana, you will begin to reap the rewards of your yoga practice much sooner. Your life will change. It is worth the effort.

Yoga is transformation. Yoga is the abil-ity to release our clinging to the moment so that we can step into the moment and live. In Savasana the light of understanding might come on, even if just for an instant. And that moment of understanding is the direct reward of practice. Svaha! (Hurrah!)

Thanks to the staff at The Alchemist for making Ask The Yogini possible. You’ve done great work. We hope you take a mo-ment to rest before you jump into the next thing. We’ll miss you.

NamasteLisa Wells

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da Vinci Days

da Vinci Days Oregon’s premier art and science festivalin Corvallis on the OSU campus

Bobby McFerrin and The YellowjacketsJuly 16, 8:30 p.m.

Full schedule and tickets at davincidays.org


WORD

One can tell much about a com-munity by what they choose to support. Which social pro-

grams survive economic downturns, how many parks and art installations exist, even which restaurants and businesses thrive can tell you as much about a popu-lation as the latest census data. But one thing above all else, in my humble opin-ion, can tell you most precisely where an american community’s heart lies: the annual festival.

In Corvallis, that festival is da Vinci Days. More so than the other excellent annual festivals that dot the Corvallian calendar, da Vinci Days exemplifies what Corvallis cares about, embodied in this particular case by one very famous, very dead Italian: Leonardo da Vinci. But why da Vinci? Brenda VanDevelder, Executive Director of da Vinci Days since 2005, ex-plains, “da Vinci was not only a talented artist, but also a scientist and inventor. Corvallis is a highly educated, highly artis-tic community and so da Vinci is a natu-ral choice as a representation of these two passions.”

da Vinci Days was started 23 years ago with just that idea in mind, a festival that would showcase the equally representative passions of art and science in the Corvallis community. Linda Varsell Smith, who helps organize the poetry slam at da Vinci Days, spoke about this dual passion in the commu-nity. “We are a rich community, both artisti-cally and scientifically, and we have a lot of people who are intensely interested in both and very big on volunteerism. I’ve been here since ’69, and I wouldn’t live anywhere else.”

Volunteerism is important for a festival as large and expansive as da Vinci Days, with nearly one hundred exhibits, films, and events occurring over three days concentrat-ed on the OSU campus, but spreading all the way downtown. Over 700 volunteers work nearly year round under VanDevelder to co-ordinate all the spectacular events, programs, and speakers that make up the schedule of events.

The sweat of volunteers alone can’t sus-tain something as amazing as da Vinci Days, though. With an annual cost of nearly two hundred thousand dollars, the festival needs financial support from the community as

well, and in the current economic climate that can sometimes be difficult. The City of Corvallis, Benton County, and Oregon State University continue to support the festival primarily through staff support and facilities use, but after this fiscal year the City of Cor-vallis may not be able to continue to provide funding support.

Previously, da Vinci Days received around 5% of its annual budget in financial support from the City in the form of annual grants from the Administrative Services Commit-tee, whose purpose it was to give funding to organizations that developing economic resources in Corvallis. Each year da Vinci Days would apply for grants and compete with other programs that develop economic activities or attract visitors and prospective citizens.

However, attracting visitors to Corvallis is now the funded responsibility of Visit Cor-vallis, a non-profit group contracted by the City of Corvallis to handle all of its tourism related activities supported by the state man-dated hotel room tax. These changes were en-acted over the past year by the newly formed Economic Development Commission after

the economic downturn in Corvallis led citizens and administrators to question the efficiency of the grant based allocation that had been in place for the previous two decades. But is efficiency what resulted from the Economic Development Com-mission and Visit Corvallis?

As reported in April by Alchemist Weekly reporter Cindy Dauer in her ar-ticle “Corvallis or Bust,” the grants which festivals like da Vinci Days had previously applied for have now been eliminated and the bulk of the annual compulsory revenue from room tax in Corvallis of $485,000 has been primarily directed to the staffing, funding, and marketing for Visit Corval-lis. “In its annual report, Visit Corvallis reported more than $365,000 in expen-ditures last year, with nearly 65 percent ($237,376) of its total expenses going to personnel and administration. That sup-ports 3.75 full-time positions,” Dauer re-ported.

da Vinci Days with its army of 700 volunteers and three days of unparalleled entertainment and educational events cost roughly the same amount annually

daVinci Days

descends upon

Corvalliswords by Jimbo Ivyphoto from 2010 daVinci Days by Stanley Tollett


WORD

as the 3.75 people that help Visit Corval-lis distribute the 35% of their budget that doesn’t go to staffing and administration. The remaining $100,000 in expenditures Visit Corvallis reported were classified as marketing, including roughly $30,000 for advertisements, $25,000 for sales contracts, and $15,000 for shipping, according to Dauer.

Despite this potential setback, da Vinci Days Executive Director Brenda VanDe-velder has faith that with continued com-munity support the festival isn’t in any danger. “At the end of the day, putting on da Vinci Days costs money, but we’re lucky to have wonderful people here in Corval-lis that help us out,” VanDevelder says. The bulk of da Vinci Days’ budget comes from ticket sales. At a price of $16 for the entire three day event, the cost pales in compari-son to other festivals that offer an equiva-lent level of entertainment. The rest of the festival’s budget comes from over 30 busi-ness sponsors and hundreds of individual donations received throughout the year. “Sometimes people don’t donate because they can’t give a large amount, but we get

checks for $25 or $30 and believe me, they add up!” says VanDevelder, smiling.

One of the highlights of the science side of this year’s Da Vinci Days is the 2011 En-tek Grand Prix Electrathon, the longest run-ning Electrathon America sanctioned event in the nation from 11 am until noon on both Saturday and Sunday. The Grand Prix Electrathon is a clean, silent road race, with vehicles utilizing standard car batteries. The competition is based on speed and energy use, racers compete for the greatest number of laps around the 0.8 mile racecourse in one hour without recharging.

Combining both scientific innovation and artistic creativity is the Graand Kinetic Chal-lenge events. GKC competitors essentially create human-powered sculptures that must participate in a four different races, and are judged in four different areas: Artistry, Pag-eantry, Engineering, and Timing. The Art-istry Judges assign points based on the cre-ative craftsmanship of the entire Sculpture. Pageantry Judges assess based on such things as humor, theatrical appeal and thematic role playing during the race. Engineering Judges base their assessment on the creativity of the

Sculpture design for dealing with various course obstacles, ingenious ways of solving problems, imaginative use of materials, and quality of construction. Timing is the least interpretive, based solely on the Sculpture’s course time. The races include a Road race through the Corvallis streets, a Dune climb, a Mud Bog race, and the even a River Race. Creating a human powered sculpture that can survive, let alone move quickly through, all of the varied surfaces of the Graand Ki-netic Challenge.

Educational and artistic events abound at da Vinci Days, including Green Town, located on the OSU Lower Campus, fea-tures businesses and organizations that are creating a healthier planet by incorporating sustainability into their products, services, or practices. Their exhibits educate attend-ees about how they can reduce the impact of their lifestyle choices. The Children’s Vil-lage hosts over twenty exhibits and activities for kids of all ages to explore art and science in a family-friendly area. Explore this year’s festival theme “Connectivity” with keynote speaker, Filmmaker Michael Epstein. Check out the Community Art Project “Connect

the Dots”, a creative display of whimsical art, and the Sidewalk Chalk Art. The da Vinci Film Festival, now in its 13th year, features 33 shorts and documentaries from around the country.

Music will be present on all days of the festival, culminating in this year’s head-liner Bobby McFerrin and The Yellow-jackets. But music is only a portion of the entertainment array as theatrical, perfor-mance art, and dozens of other showcases of artistic talent will be a constant under-current at the festival. If you look carefully, you might even spot Leonardo da Vinci himself !

Corvallis’ defining festival da Vinci Days is something that should not be missed and needs to be supported, if not by tourism dollars, than by ticket sales and volunteerism. “In the end it’s very simple: buying a ticket and coming to da Vinci Days, keeps da Vinci Days alive,” says Brenda VanDevelder, and we at The Al-chemist Weekly couldn’t agree more.

For more information on all the amaz-ing things happening at the 2011 da Vin-ci Days visit www.davincidays.org.


ALCHYPICKS

[week of July 12th]

Thursday | July 14th | 9:00 pmBombs Away CafeGo for the Green Salsa, Stay for the Searchlights... and Booze

Bombs Away Cafe on a summer night in Corvallis, Oregon is a safe bet. Exhausted, sun-burnt bicyclists and water-logged kay-akers can always find a delicious plate of food and a cold adult-beverage to salve the wounds begot by their active lifestyles.

Thursday, July 14th at 9 pm., would be an ideal time to sample the local flavor of the place. Local band Ambush Party will be playing along with Portland progressive alt-rock band Searchlights. I could tell you that their music is good, but then that’s just my opinion. What the hell do I know about your musical tastes? And, when one thinks of it, have you ever been to a live music show where you didn’t clap?

If you’re going to slide into Bombs Away Cafe, or simply “Bombs” as the locals call it, one can walk straight back past the counter and down the hallway into the short line for booze in the back at the bar. There are seats back there and if a band is playing it’s the only suitable place for conversation.

If you can find a seat in the front, where the stage is located, I recommend the wall opposite the stage. This is Bombs’ prime real estate. These seats offer the best in terms of acoustic reverberations and people watching. Both can be accomplished be-hind a massive pile of Bomber Nachos, the cafe’s signature appetizer and entrée.

Depending on the seating arrangement,

the far wall is good because you’re insulat-ed. There are large bags filled with organs, blood and water in the form of humans seated between you and the band which subdue the deep bass and snare hits with their flesh. By the time the noise works it’s way through all those guts and sock/sandals combinations it reaches your ears with a sweet muffled beauty that tricks the listener into believing they are in a much larger venue.

Also, if an erstwhile schizophrenic bursts into the place, blurry from delirium tremens and lunges into the crowd with broken bottle or makeshift knife, they will have to melee their way through at least three people before they reach you. This will give you the time to gather your nachos and beer and move behind the counter and away from the impromptu Hepatitis shower.

One might think this to be far flung and over the top, but I promise you less than three nights before writing this piece I myself was seated in one of Corvallis’ finest dining establishments at around dusk when this precise thing happened to me, minus the blade. Thankfully the owner kindly coaxed the highwayman back towards the door before he could fall upon me and mine.

Never fear, it’s just the natural summer time Portland schizophrenic overflow. The City of Roses usually spills out its annual crop of maniacs, psychotics and serial killers into the Oregon countryside when the weather allows for 24-hour outdoor travel. Corvallis is hard to find, nestled up

against the Coastal Range miles away from the bottom of the massive I-5 psychopath funnel. Just in case, remember to sit at the wall.

~Stanley Tollett

Friday | July 15th | 10:00 pmHarrison Bar & GrillA smorgasbord of music fun

Corvallis being the sophisticated, left-oriented place that it is, one often forgets that this is also a rural area and thus home to its fair share of cowboys and other such folk. Junior Raimey isn’t exactly country though, as anyone knows who seen one of his shows. Combining aspects of country, hip-hop, and mainstream rock, in the only way that Junior Raimey can, with certainty, is fun. There will be no reticent soul search-ing or hour long variation on a triplet pat-tern with phaser roaring; Junior has a blast and takes you with him. For me what’s truly impressive is Junior’s ability to convincingly switch between two seemingly polar oppo-site rhythms and feels; hip-hop and country. For his country side, due to the topics and presentation of his songs, I would say the phrase “outlaw country” would not go amiss if applied, and through his country/hip-hop

medium Junior often sings about various il-legal, if very popular practices. “He’s some-where between Steve Earle and Iron Solo-mon,” Eric Conner, a witness to Junior’s last show at Cloud 9. Iron Solomon, I found out later is a battle MC. According to wiki-pedia, battle rapping “is a type of rapping that includes a lot of braggadocio (bragging and boasting) combined with put-downs, insults, and disses against real or imaginary opponents often recited or freestyled spon-taneously in live battles.”.Often wandering across the line of political correctness, Ju-nior’s candor and honesty tends to disarm all but the staunchest objectors. Junior’s song “Redneck Chicks” has been getting a lot of attention as of late, being featured on SiriusXM Satellite and iTunes.

Along with his friend Luke Kaufman, who is a fairly traditional contemporary country artist, Junior Raimey will be doing it up acoustic and is sure to make your Fri-day night at Harrison Bar and Grill a lot of fun.

~Jimbo Ivy

phot

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Mar

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Ambush PartyThursday, July 14th at Bombs Away Cafe


Our summer menus are comingonline with lots of good producefrom the local farms. And, forthose three or four hot summernights, we have air conditioning!Come on in soon.

weds through sun, 4:30–9ish541-753-4171 for reservations134 Southwest Fourth Street (by Madison)i-love-luc.com (+ check us out on yelp.com)

www.adpizza.com

meets the high road.”“Where the back alley

214 SW 2nd StreetBehind the Downtown American Dream Pizza

753-7373

Music on the RooftopThursdays and Fridaysthroughout the summer

UPONTHEROOFROOFON

*

*Weather Permitting

THURSDAYJULY 14

9p | FREE

SEARCHLIGHTS + AMBUSH PARTY

10p | FREE

FRIDAYJULY 15

MARS RETRIEVAL UNIT

AUDIOPHILIA

10p | $5

SATURDAYJULY 16

2527 NW MonroeCorvallis, OR

541.757.7221bombsawaycafe.com

2010 Alchemist WinnerFAVORITE MUSIC VENUEFAVORITE APPETIZERFAVORITE PLACE TO SPEND $10FAVORITE PLACE TO GET PICKED UP

– LIVE MUSIC THIS WEEK –

ALCH 1/6 PAGE - 2.84" x 7" ALCH 1/6 PAGE - 5.69x3.5Sunday | July 17th | 3:00 pmHarris Bridge VineyardCulmination of Craft

A concert combining three Austin, Texas-based singer-songwriters (all with northwest roots) will cap a day of celebra-tion at the Hollow, the newly anointed event space/tasting room at Harris Bridge Vineyard in Philomath. Matt the Elec-trician, along with Raina Rose and Jack Wilson, will be performing a Summer Song Swap to celebrate the release of Ka-thie Sever’s newly published book, Make Stuff Together. Kathie is Matt’s wife and a clothing designer and artist in Austin with her company Ramonster.

“Actually our very first event since our re-zone [allowing a full-fledged winery with more freedom for events] was a Steve Poltz concert spurred by Matt and his friendship with him,” says Amanda Sever, co-owner of the winery and Matt’s sister.

Make Stuff Together, co-authored by Kathie Sever and Bernadette Noll, spans 24 projects focused on family connection and is designed to give small children and older alike not only a finished product, but also an experience in hand-made and material-sourcing awareness (as in up-cycling, or re-using items to make into new things), as well as easy-to-follow instruc-tions that help folks craft and create as a family. Kathie will be on site, signing and crafting at Sunday’s gathering.

Amanda and Nathan (Nathan War-ren, the winery’s founder and Amanda’s husband) are pleased to offer their space for an event that draws on family and craft. What got Nathan and Amanda going as they began their business 10 years ago, was the idea of operating a company that would allow them to work with family and friends to build and to create. As it says on their wine-tasting menu, “Harris Bridge Vineyard is rooted in a love for the beauty of Harris Valley, an appreciation for hard work, artistry, and craft, and a passion for farming and wine.” And what a perfect way to illustrate that idea, with family sharing their many crafts.

“This notion just keeps proving itself year after year as our craft (farming and wine) continues to entwine itself in so many experiences,” says Amanda, “and this book, the music, and the gathering of people that share in this love is such a wonderful culmination of craft.”

If you find yourself yearning for a Sun-day outing with crafters, artists and some incredible music, take the short scenic drive out to Wren (just west of Philomath) and indulge in the experience: craft, wine, music, family, friends, and the beautiful spot by the river and the covered bridge.

Sunday, July 17th 2011, 3pm – 9pm, 22937 Harris Rd. Philomath, OR 97370

For more information visit www.har-risbridgevineyard.com ~Contributed


friday15livemusic

AlbanyRHYTHM and BREWS CAFÉ Acoustic Master Dan Hartman, 7:00 pm [ACOUSTIC]

CorvallisBEANERY ON 2ND Quarry Lane, 8:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC]BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ Mars Retrieval Unit, 10:00 pm, FREE [SPACE FUNK]FIREWORKS Karl Smiley, 8:00 pm [AMERICANA BLUES]HARRISON BAR AND GRILL Junior Raimey & Luke Kaufman, 10:00 pm, $3 [COUNTRY]

LebanonDOWNTOWN DOG Brugly Mindspool, 6:00 pm [MUSIC]

wednesday13livemusic

CorvallisFARMER’S MARKET Beautiful Flute, 9:30 am, FREE [FLUTE]OSU MU QUAD Painted Grey, 12:00 pm, FREE [INDIE ROCK]

LebanonDOWNTOWN DOG Bluegrass Jam, 6:00 pm [BLUEGRASS]

TangentDIXIE CREEK SALOON Blues Jam with Wild Bill, 7:00 pm [BLUES]

AlbanyEAGLES LODGE Albany Senior Dance, 1:30 - 3:30 pm, $3 [DANCE]

CorvallisAPPLEBEE’S DJ Stoltz Dance Party, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE]PETER GYSEGEM’S STUDIO Argentine tango classes, 7:15 pm, $5 [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]; On the Top: Western Wed 9:00 pm, [DANCE]

LebanonMERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

CorvallisARTS CENTER Brown Bag Art Talk: Artists@Work, 12:00 pm [ART]CENTRAL PARK Sierra Natural Science, 11:00 am – 5:00 pm [GARDEN]ENOTECA WINE Zerba Wine Tasting, 7:00 pm, $10 [WINE]FIRST STREET DOWNTOWN Corvallis Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am – 1:00 pm, FREE [MARKET]

sing&dance

stuff

tuesday12livemusic

sing&dance

AlbanyALBANY PUBLIC LIBRARY Buck and Elizabeth, 10:30 am [COMEDY] Harry Potter party, 2:00 pm [POTTER PARTY]

CorvallisCLOUD 9 Mediocre Night of Comedy, 10:00 pm [COMEDY]DOWNTOWN CORVALLIS First Thursday Art Walk, 4:00 to 8:00 pm, FREE [WALK]ENOTECA WINE BAR Chocolate Truffle Thursdays, 6:00 pm, FREE [YUMMERS]FIRST ALT COOP NORTH Wine Tasting, 5:00 pm [WINE ME]GRASS ROOTS BOOKSTORE Author Kathie Sever, “Make Stuff Together,” 4:00 pm [BOOKS]LIVE WELL STUDIO Free Teen Yoga by Reach Out Yoga, 4:00 pm, FREE [YOGA]PEGASUS GALLERY Bonnie Hall and Jim Howland, “The Images Remain,” 5:00 pm [RECEPTION]SUBZERO The Alchemist Weekly’s Final Word: An Arts and Culture Award Fundraiser, 9:00 pm, $5 [LAST PARTY]WINESTYLES 2 Towns Ciderhouse Tasting, 5:30 pm, $5 [CIDER TIME]

LebanonDOWNTOWN LEBANON Farmer’s Market, 3:00 pm – 7:00 pm [MARKET]WILLAMETTE SPEEDWAY ASCS NW 360 Sprints Speedweeks, 6:00 pm, $14 [RACE DAY]

stuff

stuff

CorvallisCENTRAL PARK Community Band Concert: Movie Magic, 8:00 pm, FREE [BAND]FIREWORKS Charley Orlando, 8:00 pm [AMERICANA ROOTS]SUNNYSIDE UP CAFÉ Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [LISTEN/PLAY]LebanonRALSTON PARK Concerts in the Park: Rebecca Lomnicky, 6:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC]

CorvallisELKS LODGE Beginner Line Dance 7:00 pm, $3 [DANCE]IMPULSE BAR Cuban Salsa 7:30 pm FREE [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Lebanon MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

HalseyWOODY'S BAR & GRILL “Terry-oke” Karaoke with Terry Geil, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

CorvallisBENTON HOSPICE Getting What You Came For: Physician-Patient Relationship Guide, 12:00 pm [HEALTH]BENTON LIBRARY World of Ideas: The Land, The Law and Nimrod O’Kelly, 12:10 pm [HISTORY] Teen writers group, 6:00 pm [WRITERS]CLOUD 9 #TriviaNight, 10:00 pm [TRIVIA]ENOTECA WINE BAR Girls night out! Knit night, 7:00 pm [SHE'S CRAFTY]WINESTYLES Trivia Night Summer League Match #3, 6:00 pm, $10 per team [TRIVIA]

AlbanyEAGLES LODGE Line dance, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE]

CorvallisPEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Mike, 9:00 pm [DANCE]UNITARIAN-UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Dances of Universal Peace (Sufi Dancing), 7:00 pm [DANCE]

LebanonMERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

sing&dance

AlbanyRILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents Ladies Night with Dj Tray, FREE [DANCE]

CorvallisCLOUD 9 Riot in the 80s, 10:00 pm [DANCE]CORVALLIS SENIOR CENTER Friday Night Dance by The Syncopators, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Heartburn, 9:00 pm [DANCE]

AlbanyBEHIND CAPPIE’S BREWHOUSE BEHIND CAPPIE’S BREWHOUSE Movies by Moonlight: “Africa Screams,” 7:00 pm, FREE [CLASSIC FILM]

CorvallisMAJESTIC THEATRE Willamette STAGE Company presents: The Play’s the Thing, 8:00 pm, $19 [STAGE]OSU CAMPUS daVinci Days Festival, 5:00 pm – 11:00 pm [FESTIVAL] OSU GOSS STADIUM Corvallis Knights vs. Kelowna Falcons, 6:40 pm, $5 [BASEBALL]WINESTYLES Friday Flights, 5:00 pm [WINE]

sing&dance

stuff

AlbanyCHASERS The Lucky Pups, 7:30 pm [JAZZ]CALAPOOIA BREWING Van Myers Duo, 7:30 pm [JAZZ] MONTEITH PARK Plena Libre, 7:00 pm, FREE [PUERTO RICAN]

CorvallisBOMBS AWAY CAFE Searchlights and Ambush Party, 9:00 pm [ROCK]FIREWORKS Performers Spotlight hosted by Gabriel Surley, 8:00 pm [SHOWCASE]

LebanonDOWNTOWN DOG Moonlight Mile, 6:00 pm [MUSIC]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL EAST Blues Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [BLUES]

thursday14livemusic

[PUERTO RICAN]Thursday | July 14th | 7:00pm

Plena LibraMonteith Park

[ROCK]Thursday | July 14th | 9:00pm

SearchlightsBombs Away Cafe


Across1. Funk’s Sly ___6. Admonition on a fishing trip10. Sardonic giggle14. Attach, as a corsage15. Name in computers since 199616. Saab or Tahari of fashion17. H.S. senior’s course18. One is usually painted in spring20. Show on which small birds vied in singing contests?22. Question from one protesting too much, perhaps23. Lee of cinema24. ___.sex25. Have a go at27. Ward formerly on “House”29. CafÈ temptations31. Wheel at many a gallery opening32. Spanish sky34. Majority leader before Reid35. Delivery vehicle for Chinese restaurants?39. Dead Sea Scrolls prophet40. Sodas chugged on “M*A*S*H”41. Kiss’s “___ Made for Loving You”42. Direct at, verbally44. Word before life or moon48. “We Know Drama” channel49. Steve Case’s co., once50. Whichever52. Score at kickoff53. Cash in Moses’s basket?57. Progressed a bit58. Dress down a bit59. Wrinkle treatment company60. They often battle in sports61. One who poses?62. Singer Joe and actor Ron63. Refuse to cop to64. Gets hot quick, as a stock price

Down1. They can’t be helped2. Avoid detection, in a way3. One way to be free4. Genre that “The Dark Knight” owes a debt to

5. ___ Gay (fateful bomber)6. “Trilby” hypnotist7. Den ___ (Serbian war crimes trial locale)8. Warn away from the Kibbles, say9. Places where 36-Down is often the only option10. Schwarzenegger title11. Like some cattle fences12. Far from certain13. Test that involves sticking sensors on a person’s head: Abbr.19. Have chips, e.g.21. Inedible chip maker26. Until now28. Peaks30. Character actor Cox31. Painting 101 purchase33. Artisanal beer letters34. Often-welcome cal. day

35. Fatal flaw36. Famously light paper37. Develop an itch, as it were38. Last article stripped, maybe39. Career track in music?42. Laid down the lawn43. Make a claim45. Sˆrenstam of the LPGA46. German classical songs47. NHL team swept by the Bruins in the 2011 playoffs49. Org. for RNs51. Places to get yourself clean, hang out with all the boys, etc.54. Turns made after checking for cop cars, often55. Part of, as a plan56. Extremely57. Enabler of Barney and Homer

The Little ThingsInkw

ell Crosswords by Ben Tausig

4 3 5 6 9 7 5 6 2 4 1 9 6 4 8 2 9 3 1 5 2 4 6 8 2 7 3 3 2 8 4

Difficulty: Medium sudoku-puzzles.net

To submit a calen-dar listing, notice of events must be

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week before publication.

Send to

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Albany RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents DJ Tray, FREE [DANCE]

Corvallis CORVALLIS DANCE CENTER CENTER Beginning Ballroom Lessons, 3:00 pm, Intermediate West Coast Swing Lessons, 4:00 pm, Beginning West Coast Swing, 6:00 pm [DANCE]ODDFELLOWS HALL Swing, 7:00 pm, Blues, 10:00 pm, $5 [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL On the Top: DJ Heartburn, 9:00 pm [DANCE]

Lebanon DUFFY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke, 10:00 pm, FREE [SING]MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

AlbanyCITY HALL Albany Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am – 1:00 pm, FREE [MARKET]

CorvallisAVALON WINE Wine tasting, 12:00 – 3:00 pm [WINE-IN]DOWNTOWN FIRST ST Corvallis Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am to 1:00 pm, FREE [MARKET] Corvallis Artisan’s Market, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm [CRAFTS]ENOTECA WINE BAR Saketini Saturdays, 3:00 pm [SAKE-TO-ME]GARLAND NURSERY Little Sprouts: Birds, Bugs and Snakes, 11:00 am [GARDEN]OSU CAMPUS daVinci Days Festival, 9:00 am – 11:00 pm [FESTIVAL] OSU GOSS STADIUM Corvallis Knights vs. Kelowna Falcons, 6:40 pm, $5 [BASEBALL]WHITESIDE THEATER Smart Phone Self Guided Tour, 10:00 am to 12:00 pm, FREE [TOUR]WINESTYLES Wine Tasting, 4:00 pm, $10 [WINE TIME]

LebanonWILLAMETTE SPEEDWAY Budweiser Night at the Races $2011 to win Mid-Season Championship Night: Late Model, Modified, Sportsman, Classic, 6:00 pm, $14 [RACE DAY]

sing&dance

stuff

stuffmonday18AlbanyMONTEITH PARK J.T. & The Tourists, 7:00 pm, FREE [MUSIC]

CorvallisFIREWORKS Southtown Open Mic, 8:00 pm [LISTEN/PLAY]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm [SING]

LebanonSTARLITE SPORTS BAR Willamette Poker Tour, 7:00 pm [POKER]

AlbanyCALAPOOIA BREWING Blues Jam, 4:00 pm, FREE [BLUES]

CorvallisFIREWORKS Cloud Mountain Ramblers, 7:00 pm [OLD TIME STRING]

PhilomathHARRIS BRIDGE VINEYARD Matt the Electrician, Raina Rose and Jack Wilson, 3:00 pm to 9:00 pm [SINGER-SONGWRITER]

TangentDIXIE CREEK SALOON Acoustic Jam, 7:00 pm, Bluegrass Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [iPlay]

Corvallis PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm [SING]

Lebanon MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

sunday17livemusic

sing&dance

CorvallisENOTECA Saketini Sundays, 3:00 pm [SAKE-TO-ME]MAJESTIC THEATRE Willamette STAGE Company presents: The Play’s the Thing, 8:00 pm, $19 [STAGE]OSU CAMPUS daVinci Days Festival, 10:00 am – 11:00 pm [FESTIVAL] OSU GOSS STADIUM Corvallis Knights vs. Kelowna Falcons, 6:40 pm, $5 [BASEBALL]

stuff

AlbanyCALAPOOIA BREWING Formerly Hines, 8:00 pm [ROCK FUSION]FARMER’S MARKET Dawning of the Day, 11:00 am, FREE [CELTIC]RHYTHM and BREWS CAFE Cool Consipiracy, 7:00 pm [JAZZ/BLUES]

CorvallisBOMBS AWAY CAFÉ audiophilia WELCOME HOME Show, 10:00 pm, $5 [JAM ROCK] CLOUD 9 Colin Woekel, Mudpuppy, Mahogany Driftwood, Lucky Strangers, 10:30 pm [INDIE FOLK]FARMER’S MARKET Howard Steele, 9:30 am, FREE [COWBOY MUSIC]

saturday16livemusic

There are some things you’ll never see because we’re closing up shop.For example, we hoped to establish the alpaca as our

official mascot for our Alchy Perks program...


The Alchemist Weekly red pen challenge strikes again! (Not pictured: Leo was left out of weekly horoscopes

last week. Doh!)

TAW- 4 | READERS- 4

B&JBookbinding

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108 SW 3rd St • Corvallis • 541.757.9861


WEE

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byCoyote

Kate

●July 12, 2011●

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Aries (March 21-April 19): Blessing Full Moon happens on Friday, Aries. In Hawaii, anything newly constructed gets blessed using a maile lei by a Kahuna. I suppose here in the valley we could use a crown of flush, blooming blackberry vines. No, a crown of nearly ripe wheat or other cereal grain sounds better to honor Blessing Moon. In certain parts of Europe after har-vests, the last sheaves of grain are made into corn dollies and kept until next year when the fields are replanted. The intricately weaved corn dollies are believed to contain the spirit of the crop. Aries, you might feel an inclination to bless something as im-portant as the spirit contained in a crop. So break out your weaving skills.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): In grade school I could understand the process of dividing, but not the reasoning behind divi-sion. After all the work of multiplying, why would we want to divide? Then it hit me. We divide in order to share equally. Still, the precision of the division disturbed me. If I was sharing, why not just break off the hunks and pass it around? There is a natural honesty and integrity in the act of sharing. Bull, your world need not to be so precise in its divisions either.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Operation Closest is in full action, yet you continue to separate yourself. People love you for who you are, not a manufactured or manifested personality. Historically, you have reason to put those faces on, but now is the time to live more freely in your enlightenment. Stand within your power. Get out of the projection.

Cancer ( June 21-July 22): The first wheels on the tractors and combines have moved into action harvesting the first crop of the season. Sweet grass smell drifts on the wind signaling metamorphosis into Summer for real. The recent eclipses have shed some light on your life Crab. Continue to go with their flow, changing what your spirit needs relief from. Enjoy these first harvests of your maturation.

Leo ( July 23-Aug.22): Your friends and family are looking for you, but you have es-caped out the back door which is what you should continue to do. Use the Blessing Full Moon to regenerate in order to fulfill

your obligations and tasks set for Summer. People will come looking for you--remain illusive you need the break.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Paying to be alive used to be cheaper, sometimes even free, for instance, camping and park-ing. There are some aspects of yesteryear that needed not to have progressed. If there is any-thing in your world that you think needs changing back to the old, then voice your opinion about it and do what you can to change it Virgo. You have great ideas that need to be brought to fruitition.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sometimes the attempt to bring a community closer together fails, not because too much of the community remains forever transient, not because there is not enough cultural glue to hold the pieces together, but because most continue to live in fear. Fear is the greatest motivator. Unless we all learn to walk the path of our hearts, we will continue to be disconnected, and continue to live in fear. And all societal accoutrements distract us. Study your heart Libra and ask others in your world to do the same. Rome was not built in a day. Peace has not ever been made. Restart again with hope, continue with art, and remain steadfast in the truth of free thought and speech.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Side ef-fect of Summer—dry and hot. Fortunately, remedies are in the making. Remember that Pablo Picasso said “Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” That cre-ative crayon in the corner is waiting for you.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): One crow says to another, “After they finish building, I get the “M and the A. You get the R and the T.” The other crow walks away in disappointment, knowing that calling dibs counts on pieces of property. Murders of crows who live in parking lots of mini-malls, etc. adapt to their surround-ings by digesting left-over French fries and hamburgers and any thing else they can get their beaks on. So do those shiny blackbirds. Will this change their digestive system? Will we start seeing birds succumb to heart disease? Sag, make an evolutionary change of the positive kind. Think outside the easily accessed French fry box.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Drove by a hawk who was ditch hunting. Usually these birds of prey attack from an aerial po-sition, but it must have spotted something in the ditch. As I drove by, it peered into the ditch with a Susan Boyle dedication. Both the hawk and Ms. Boyle have placed themselves into circumstances outside their normal range to get what they desired and dedicated themselves to that. The hawk more than likely earned his reward with a full belly. And Ms. Boyle gets to share her voice with the world. Place yourself in a po-sition outside your normal range in order to get what you want Cappi.

Aquarius ( Jan. 20-Feb.18): Can’t decide what I would rather be--a shaved zebra sporting only black hair (the real-ity underneath) or a shaved tiger showing off my striped skin underneath. If I were a cockroach, minus my head, I could live for two weeks. Puts a new spin on the parlor waiting period. I definitely would rather sing like a cat who has over 100 vocals sounds as opposed to a dog who only has about 10. For swimming, I would prefer to be like the porcupine who floats in water. And I would love to be a cow making more milk when I listened to the cool tunes in my bovine abode with full surround sound. As a butterfly, I could taste with my feet. As a

snail, I could sleep for three years. I would prefer not to be a crocodile who can’t stick out its tongue. Sometimes that non-verbal communication is the only route to get the point across. Discover the quirks of your animalistic nature Aquarius. Getting more familiar with them will ground you.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): D.H. Law-rence penned, “The human soul needs ac-tual beauty more than bread.” Right now Pisces, you are capable of great acts of beau-ty and also of recognizing beauty beyond what can be purchased. You will be asked to show these things to others. Your eyes will be their eyes.

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Art heals. i have never seen this in action so well as i have since i began to paint pet portraits.

With each new portrait i get to witness the wonderful effect an animal can have on a person. memorializing someone’s pet on canvass is both an honor and a pleasure for me.

I too have loved and relied on my pets over the years to help me through hard times and enjoy the good. Animal compan-ions have the wonderful ability to comfort and entertain us and most importantly they help build our self esteem. The love of a pet is a priceless gift.

Painting pet portraits is extremely ful-filling for me as an artist. I began paint-ing pets a few years ago after a friend who had lost her beloved cat. She asked me to create a painting in memory of her “kitty.” An amazing thing happened when I began painting Kitty. It felt almost like she was sitting beside me helping me capture her spirit in the painting. The joy that my friend got from that painting set me on an artistic road I doubt I will ever turn from.

Every portrait and pet has a story. One of my favorite stories is about Mike, a Staf-fordshire Terrier who was lost in a house fire. His family lost almost everything in-cluding all images of Mike. I had only a dark cellular phone image to work from. Happily Mike’s friend Max, a Corgy Lab mix, made it through the fire and we de-cided to include him in the painting. I know Mike was with me guiding my brushstrokes as I created his memorial. Mike’s owner had a profound reaction to the piece and the story she told me about its arrival at their

new home made even more of an impact. Mike's friend Max came up to the painting and licked Mike on the face. What a special moment that must have been for the family. Imagine how it made me feel as an artist to be part of that.

Fortunately I am called upon to paint pets that are still with us as well. Nothing inspires my portraits more than when I am able to visit the pet in their home and see them with their owners. I paint from one or more photos customarily, but a face to face meeting with the pet really helps me gather details on their personalities and relation-ships in the home.

You might wonder if painting pet por-traits would become cumbersome or limit-ing. While having a world of subject matter and even style to choose from, is freeing, each pet portrait brings a new challenge and emotional experience. I do continue to create art outside of my pet portrait busi-ness when I need to stretch my fingers a little bit. These days the portraits propel me forward and inspire me in unique way and that is variety enough for me.

My style is non-traditional and not quite realistic. My pallet is bold and bright. Art from many world cultures inspire my art. The creative use of line and texture allows me to bring a playfulness to my paintings that I really enjoy. It can take many linger-ing glances to notice all the little details that go into capturing somebody’s loved one. Each new commission brings with it a new opportunity to grow and a delightful glimpse into the love between humans and their pets. I feel completely blessed to be a part of it.

Art Healsby Marnie Ernst Zoa

Tea with Father Timeby Amy Edinger

Time drips honey into his tea,glancing towards me

with golden eyes,as he quietly explains

that he rarely receives visitors.We drink from his best china.

As pleasantries fade,

the shafts of lightswarm with dying seconds,spinning like dust motes

through the air.

I ask him how the earth rotates.He opens his palm,

allowing a second to settle onto his creased skin.

“Everything becomes habitual,”he says,

“I barely notice a day pass.”

To Tell Youby Amy Edinger

I bought a bundle of mouthswith a silver dollar

from a man on the street corneroutside my apartment.

He promised they would not wiltin the cold.

I tried them all on in your kitchen,pressing each against my face,

trying to speak,but my voice cracked their lips

and the words burst.

So I put the mouths in a vasewith water and daisies.

They flared redfrom the light leaking through

your window.

I hope you can find some use for them.


honeyAlbany

AlbAny CiviC TheATer111 First Ave. SW 541.928.4603

Alleyoop lounge901 Pacific Blvd 541.941.0977

Bogey’s Bar & grill129 W 1st Ave. 541.929.8900

CAlApooiA breWing140 Hill st. Ne 541.928.1931

CAppieS breWhouSe211 1st ave W 541.926.1710

CASCAde grill110 opal st. NW 541.926.3388

CHasers Bar & grill435 se 2nd ave 541928.9634

dixie Creek SAloon32994 hwy 99e, Tangent, or 541.926.2767

FAvoriTe MiSTAke SporTS bAr5420 Pacific Blvd. 541.903.0034

FronT STreeT bAr2300 northeast Front Ave. 541.926.2739

gAMeTiMe SporTS Bar & grill2211 Waverly Dr. se 541.981.2376

HumPty’s DumP Bar & grill916 old salem rd Ne 541.926.3111

JP’s restauraNt & lounge220 2nd ave. 541.926.5546

lAriAT lounge901 Pacific Blvd se 541.928.2606

linger longer TAvern145 sW main st. 541.926.2174

luCky lArryS lounge1296 s Commercial Way se 541.928.3654

riley’s BilliarDs Bar & grill124 Broadalbin st sW 541.926.2838

WilHelm’s sPirits & eatery1520 Pacific Blvd se 541.926.7001

CorvallisAquA SeAFood restauraNt & Bar151 nW Monroe Ave. 541.752.0262

The beAnery on 2nd500 sW 2nd st 541.753.7442

big river restauraNt & Bar101 nW Jackson Ave. 541.757.0694

bloCk 15300 SW Jefferson Ave. 541.758.2077

boMbS AWAy CAFé2527 NW monroe ave. 541.757.7221

ChinA delighT reSTAurAnT325 NW 2nd st. 541.753.3753

CloDfelter’s1501 nW Monroe Ave. 541.758.4452

Cloud 9126 sW 1st st. 541.753.9900

CroWbAr214 sW 2nd st. 541.753.7373

Darrell’s restauraNt & lounge2200 NW 9th st. 541.752.6364

del AlMA136 SW Washington Ave, Ste. 102 - 541.753.2222

doWnWArd dog130 sW 1st st. 541.753.9900

enoTeCA Wine bAr136 SW Washington Ave. 541.758.9095

fireWorks restauraNt & bAr1115 se 3rd 541.754.6958

FlAT TAil pub202 sW 1st st. 541.758.2219

greeNBerry store & TAvern29974 HWy 99W 541.752.3796

HarrisoN Bar & grill550 NW Harrison Blvd. 541.754.1017

iMpulSe1425 nW Monroe Ave. 541.230.1114

lA bAMbA Mix nighT Club126 sW 4th st. 541.207.3593

luC134 sW 4th st. 541.753.4171

murPHy’s taverN2740 sW 3rd st. 541.738. 7600

PaPa’s Pizza1030 s.W. third st. 541.757.2727

PeaCoCk Bar & grill125 sW 2nd st. 541.754.8522

squirrel’s100 sW 2nd st. 541.753.8057

SunnySide up CAFé116 NW 3rd st 541.758.3353

suDs & suDs1045 NW kings Blvd. 541.758.5200

TroubAdour521 sW 2nd st. 541.752.7720

Tyee Wine CellArS26335 greenberry rd. 541.753.8754

WAnTed SAloon140 NW 3rd st.

WineSTyleS2333 N.W. kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

LebanonartisiaN’s Well louNge2250 south main rd. 541.451.3900

CorNerstoNe Café & PuB180 s 5th st. 541.847.6262

Duffy’s irisH PuB679 south main st. 541.259.2906

Fire piT lounge2230 south santiam Hwy 541.451.2010

gAMeTiMe SporTS Bar & grill3130 south santiam Hwy 541.570.1537

merliN’s Bar & grill25 W. sherman st. 541.258.6205

PeaCoCk Bar & grill east76 e. sherman st. 541.451.2027

sPorts sHaCk & Deli1250 grant St. 541.259.0800

PhilomathHigH 5 sPorts Bar & grill1644 main st.-541.929.7529

meet’N PlaCe taverN1150 Mian St. 541.929.3130

Wine vAulT1301 Main St. 541.929.8496

WiNg siNg restauraNt & lounge658 Main St. 541.929.6255

let's go outPut on your3D goggles....only works with LSD

140 NE Hill StAlbany, OR541.928.1931

Thursday, July 14th

Van MeyersDuo

Saturday, July 16thFormerly Hines

Sunday, July 17th

Blues Jam

Anniversary Party!

July 16th

All day happy hourSpecial beers

Anniversary Party!

July 16th


Anniversary Party!

July 16th


202 SW 1st St. • Corvallis, OR • (541) 753-8533Open Daily: 11 am - 11 pm • Happy Hour: 3-6pm & 9-close

www.flattailcorvallis.com

www.samuraigreenhousesupply.com

20% off MSRPon most items for our

military Veterans.

Commercial,Agriculture, Businessand

Community Garden pricing too.

541.928.3431

Locally owned and operated

Mon - Sat • 10:00 am - 6:00 pm32067 Old Hwy 34• Tangent, OR

I T H EA LC H E M I S T

Three and half years of productionOne year of newsprint

184 consecutive weeks of community love

The Alchemist Weekly’sFinal Word

An Arts and Culture Award FundraiserThursday, July 14th • 9:00 pm • $5

SubZero • 126 SW 4th St • Corvallis, OR

119 sw 4th corvallis, or, 97333 lickspigot.com 541-758-1674

Home Fermentation Supplies &

Packaged-Goods-To-Go!

plexinate

r

dietertime

b.a.

licks

pigot

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The Alchemist Weekly July 14th, 2011