Team Leader’s Toolkit for Handling Difficult People...Handling Difficult People 3/11/2013 (c) 2012 QPC Inc. 1 Team Leader’s Toolkit for Handling Difficult People December 20, 2012

Handling Difficult People 3/11/2013

www.ExtraordinaryTeam.com (c) 2012 QPC Inc. 1

Team Leader’s Toolkit for Handling

Difficult People

December 20, 2012

High Stakes Meeting Facilitation Team & Facilitator Training Conversational Keynotes, Breakouts and Panels

Specializing in

Kristin J. Arnold, MBA, CMC, CPF, CSP © 2012 Al l Rights Reserved

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www.ExtraordinaryTeam.com Difficult?

© 2012 All Rights Reserved

NLM


Not Like Me

About 98% are just different and the reason we think they are difficult is because they are

not like us.

The best way to influence anyone is to enter the conversation going on in the other

person's head. That would require we take time to understand how they think.

Most of us are too busy trying to get the

other person to enter the conversation going on in our own head.

Kit Grant

Don’t Agree with You

They are "difficult" in they are not "rowing in the same direction" as [you or] the organization.

Joe Zuccaro



Beyond Consensus

3 Little Known Secrets to Achieving Solid Agreements

Among Your Team Mates

October 18, 2012

www.ExtraordinaryTeam.com


Disruptive


I find the most difficult people to deal with are not willing or able to see the other's perspective on critical issues.

Ken Boxer

Dominating Coping

Dominating

• Overbearing “Know it all”

• Blocking others ideas “Nit Picker”

• Attacking “Sniper”

• Impatient “The Rusher”

• “The Dominator” conversation

• Talking on the side

Coping

• Withdrawn

• Avoid

• Stalling

• Complain

• Talk on the side



Disciplinary Conversations

https://secure.confertel.net/tsregister.asp?program=JettReplay


Hierarchical


Team Based

Your Goal: Minimize the disruptions

2 Strategies





Prevention #1: Clarify the Goal Prevention #2: Follow the Agenda

Time Topic Process Leader

Kick Off

Content

Closure

Prevention #3: Define Roles

• Leader

• Facilitator/Process Observer

• Timekeeper

• Recorder/Scribe


Prevention #3: Ground Rules

• Honor Time Limits

• All participate…no one dominates

• Have an abundance mentality

• Seek first to understand, then to be understood

• Don’t just “give in” to avoid disagreements

• Avoid “Thumbs up/down” or bargaining

Prevention #5: Agree on Decision-Making

• Team leader?

• Expert in the room?

• Loudest voice?

• Majority vote?

• Consensus?

• Unamimous?

Hint: Know the “fallback”

Prevention #6: Keep a Team Memory

• New members can catch up

• Retrace steps

• Reminder of earlier decisions

• Easier to prepare for a presentation



Prevention #7: Critique Often

• “Check out”

• What worked? What didn’t?

Worked Well Do Differently

1. 2. 3.

1. 2. 3.

A Few Words about Interventions

• Can vs. must

• You are not alone

• Escalate until resolved

– Low level

– Involve the team

– Take it offline

– Confront


Low Level

• Can vs. must?

• Eye contact

• Gestures

• Movement


Gentle Reminders

• Refer to agenda/reaffirm the process

• Refocus/rephrase/reframe toward the goal

• Ask them to “headline” what they have said

• Remind/refer to ground rules


Involve Them and the Team

• “Reflect” - Verbal redirect

• Invite participation e.g. round robin

• “Park it”

• Define or “operationalize” key terms

• Suggest a more constructive path forward

• Give feedback to the team

• A moment of silence/reflection time


Take it Off-line

• Take a break

• Meet privately to talk to the disrupter

• Point out disruptive behavior

– Be specific and descriptive

– No judgment

• Ask for cooperation

• Agree on the next step




Confront

• Confront the person gently before the group

• Appeal for cooperation

• Ask, “How can we move forward?”

• Ask the group to help in resolving the problem


Spread the Word… • Check out our learning resources available

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• Watch how to videos

– www.YouTube.com/user/QPCinc


Customized Programs • Facilitation, Team & Presentation Skills Training

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Documents

Team Leader’s Toolkit for Handling Difficult People...Handling Difficult People 3/11/2013 (c) 2012 QPC Inc. 1 Team Leader’s Toolkit for Handling Difficult People December 20, 2012