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Jennifer VanZandt

Professor Lewandowski

English 122 2:25 TR5 February 2009

Do I need more detail? Um, not really, you went pretty deep in certain parts. The

discussion section does need a bit more detail though. -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:07 PM

What other kind of things (detail, info, etc) can I put in here to make it better?Overall, I liked the essay, but at some points it was a bit biased on the subject, I think you

could make the essay a bit stronger by showing the other sides view on the subject. -Chris

O. 2/5/09 3:05 PM

Time is short. Good paper. Organize thoughts. Good grammer and punctuation.

IntroductionAfter watching the film Supersize Me, many can be intrigued by the results that the

director, Morgan Spurlock, got while on his 30 day McDiet. I get the idea of your first

sentence, but perhaps you should re-word it for easier comprehension He gained about 24.5

pounds, which took him a year afterwards to lose, he starting having random chest pains,

and his liver was even affected by his fatty diet, his fat content went from 11% to 18%,plus many, many more harmful results. These are good facts, but maybe should be in

another sectionof the piece The question, or "My"question is, what other experiments alongthe lines of Spurlocks have been done to back up his results? I really like what you didhere, I kinda wish I added this kind of detail to my introduction. -Chris O. 2/5/09 2:55 PM

MethodsAfter doing a few hours of research, many articles about the affects of fast food were

found. Accordingly, the majority of those articles were talking about the doing the same

exact experiments that Spurlock did. One of them even consisted of lab rats. In the lab ratexperiment, scientists put a bunch of mice on a diet that was high in high fructose cornsyrup, and that was made up of 40% fat. What did that have in common with Spurlocks

McDiet? All of the soda he drank was completely full of sugar, and not just sugar, highfructose corn syrup, which is just as bad, if not a bit worse (Citation). Also, with the highfat content, the mices diet was really close to the high amount of fat that is in McDonaldsfood. The rats diet was intended to last for 16 weeks. They were given food, so that they

could eat whenever they wanted to. They were not force-fed in any ways possible. Theseare great facts. Maybe they should be in the results or discussion area. So how well did thisgo hand-in-hand with Spurlocks experiment? Maybe add more experiments? I found one

during my research about food being digested in the stomach lasting in there for weeks at a

time, check it out! :D -Chris O. 2/5/09 2:57 PM

Results

In the documentary Super Size Me, Morgan Spurlock had some shockingresults. When he started his McDiet, as he likes to call it, he was in perfectly healthy

shape. So were the lab rats when the scientists started their diets. Spurlocks resultsshowed that fast food could have some major effects on humans. After his 30 days of

McDonalds heaven, Spurlocks liver was fatty. His cholesterol was raised to 230, and healso gained 24.5 pounds, which took him a year to finally lose, which is ridiculous seeing

that he gained all of that in only 30 days. His body fat level went from 11% to 18%, and he

doubled his chance for heart disease and heart failure, which is just insane. You shouldleave comments like "is just insane" and "which is ridiculous" to the discussion section ofthe paper, because the results section is for a non critical view, apperently. -Chris O. 2/5/09

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The mice had similar results. After only 4 weeks of their fatty and sugary diet, they

started showing an increase in liver enzymes, which goes hand-in-hand with the start of

type II diabetes. When Spurlock was on his diet, he also started to suffer from an addictionto the food, which is yet another thing that happened to the rats. Even though they werent

force-fed, they continued to eat, even when they were not hungry. That, though, wasactually a really good thing for scientists. Through the mices overeating, scientists found

out that high fructose corn syrup can do more than just help your risk of gettingdiabetes. They found that it could have effects on your body that can cause you to not feel

as full, which will make you keep eating.There have also been other experiments done where scientists took a group of

people who were all in perfect shape, and fed them all a fatty diet. The results? Of course,

they got the same ones that Spurlock and the mice got. Give more information on thisstudy. -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:02 PM

DiscussionIts really interesting to find out how bad fast food actually is for one to eat on a

regular basis. For years, before the whole Obesity Epidemic in America, fast food was a

way to get an easy, hot meal when youre running short on time. Also, hamburgers are one

of Americas favorite foods. You have escargots in France, and pizza in Italy, so America

has to have its own type of food, right? No one really believed that fast food could be thisutterly bad for you. Have more of a discussion on the studies, maybe set a more... um, the

other side of the argument: no one is going to eat McDonalds every single day, right? :P -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:02 PM

Conclusion

The documentary Super Size Me was definitely an eye opening film of epicproportions. They way Spurlock gained so much weight from his McDiet and the way hetaught everyone about the dangers of fast food is just amazing. Most people have a really

hard time taking his film in, just because McDonalds is something that weve all grown upon for years. And the whole experiment with the lab rats thats just even moreinsane. Not only can humans get those bad results from a fatty and sugary diet, animals

can. Maybe add something about the fact that rats have a different body chemistry fromhumans and that is why they got so sick? -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:04 PM It just proves thatAmerica really needs to make a change in their favorite diet, and scientists need to keepdoing these sort of experiments for the sake of everyones health.