THE SUNrsmTOAY AUGUST 20 1905

Summer Acts in the Continuous Vaudeville Show ef New York Life8

I JI

Juuuuu ii

Other Side of Owning An Automobile

Tricks of the They Have of Garnering Extra Money

Worries of Rich Owners Gallantry of Chauffeurs

a Source of Trouble

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vi

ChauffeursWays

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A too tricky chauffeur Is a thorn in theflesh of the rich man who hire bm

headstrong

f owner ss though they were piecrust

eldom stays long In a place andfew changes he is blacklisted by

owners and makers and Is forced to seekemployment out of town or In a new trado

One of this sort wiTh recentlyfor knocking down nnd injuring anwoman on a downtown street Atrequest the police sergeant called up thi

millionairethe law take Its course was tho

reply of the employerto distraction by the tricks of my chauf-feurs and hired this one two weeks ago onthe ono stipulation that ho should nevertake out the car except by my orderHe has broken my rule and I wash myhands of tho

It developed that tho chauffeur had nuthe car down town to tho main post office

to get a quarter book of postage stamps

The speed of the touring cars practicallymakes an unscrupulous chauffeur a freehooter ready for nil sorts of trips or vinltwhen It is a sure thing the owner willcall for the car for two or three hours-or again that night

Often an owner sets a trap and bags

s perforce have tois the rule with this set of owners

when they feel they havo a jewel in serviceand another set who are perhaps the ivteeetsort give to their chauffeurs the right-to do as they please with the car except

p to get In trouble for excessive speedingj This sort of owner is willing to pay without

questioning for repairs caused by

account It is not until tho average manhas owned his second or third high geared

T car and has learned tilt game that mbegin to make concessions to keep a good-

manThe too tricky sort make a specialty of

keeping the car in the machine shop abouthalf the time Repair work on automobiles

j is a new trade and tho in it are greatenough to permit repairers as tricky as

i himself paying an extra commission to theright sort of chauffeur The greenhornowner does not know whether he Is paying

jIs no fixed scale for such work as in olderand standard repair work such as on car-

riages although it often occurs to him thatbe owns a hoodoo car A milder sort of

f is revealed In the surprise of a newowner as he pays his monthly bill at the

p great quantity of gnHollnfl it take to ke epan automobile running-

He certainly seemed surprised wasthe comment of the oilman at the garage-to a boon companion but he would be

j more astonished still to know the fullof his car each month and moreover

how much I give rakeoff to the chauff

feurAgood chauffeur Is one who to careful-

in tending to his car at the garage notwasteful in gasoline one chauffeur wascaught emptying the tank in the woodsJust to help the trado whoabove all tries bard to keep the machineout of the repair shop He nmst be skilfula a driver to do this and equal to everyemergency of the city traffic and country

f roads and also attentive for the water willfreeze and burst in a cold enap for instanceV the machine is left standing while It isatlll bubbling In the boiler Moreoverthe good chauffeur must be a pathfinderon country runs and wise as to wheremay epeed In safety or must slow down to

avoid atTest be must be tireless Inobeying orders and at his owners disposal

any hour of the day or nightA chauffeur for one young college man-

made 1400 mllee of road runs in one week

city He did not see much of his wife andchildren that week On the other hand

rmarried chauffeurs who work for ownerswho have houses within fifty or sixty mlles

j of the city do not feel compelled to movetheir families to the country as coachmen

l but

it one who IR only jUllt tricky enough hI ft

The cud reckl 8f

Chauffeur who treflts the orders of theand

made to be broken III a nutlanoo HeaCtor

a the

arrestedaged

his

owner car Wilt chanced to be afi

I been worried

ii

matter

j

If to nave a walk to a substation

1I not

ff his

obauOeur butmore often he refrains inthe fear that ho would catoh his man and

discharge him Toler-

ance

dents when the chauffeur III out on his ownI

f

filii

too much or ton titus for at the host there

an-

noyance

a

alongand

1t at

g at night on trips in and out of the

jewel

tof the

z have

f

race

will

i

2

c

j mile-

age

1ho-

iand

z

i otly

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fi

Punishment of a Bully Whose

It Delight Was to Duck Women Bathers

3

One ducker got a doee of his own medi-

cine the other day He U a big brawnyfellow and he had made life miserable forboys and girls particularly girls at one ofNew Yorks bathing beaches by grabbingand ducking them much to the terror ofinexperienced bathers Being husky andtough as he is big the men have been afraidto interfere with him

A few afternoons ago Joseph A Ruddythe crack player of the New York AthleticClubs water polo team paid a visit to thisbath Water polo it may be explained isrecognized as the most strenuous of tho longcalendar of sports far outclassing in thisrespect even football and Ruddy Is thegames sturdiest exponent It is said thatone of tho essential qualifications of the

other tightly and the man who can bold theother under the water the longest Is thebetter player

Ruddy reached Use baths just in time tosee the ducker engaged in the gentle pastimeof ducking a timid feeble girl whose weakstruggles and cries of real terror did notcause her persecutor to relent

Holy smokers ejaculated Ruddy withgritting teeth

Perhaps fully two seconds elapsed beforehe could reach the man and with one greatjerk he tore him from the shrieking girl

Say how would you like to bo duckedMked RUddy

The whole thing had been done so quicklythat the big fellow could only stare blanklyat the mailer man And then before the

could find his voice or make ahostile move Ruddy dragged him Into thedeeper water

Now Im going to give you a dose ofyour own medicine said Ruddy

Big and strong on time duoker was he wasHk an infant in thepowerful hands of thewater polo player Ruddy put his SandowHke arm across the big fellows throat In a

tbe others body in a true water polo tackle

f

111

f

y

I-

IS

i

iIWater polo player Is to have acquired a

for being half drowned as in theof a glUlle the players grab each

big man

1

hold and twined both legs around

W t f

A

1S

4

17

j likingcourse

itr

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t strasgi4

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do for they may always got In to seefolks regularly enough Then toochauffeurs who are on the right terms withtheir bosses live in far fmburbsfor tho santoreason an tho automobile ID their trolleycar A fact that every visitor to the countryhas noticed this summer is that the chauffours beet irirl when he fa a single mannever has to walk a step As a beau ho L

now ace high in the courting game withthe country girls The young man whoonly comes around to take his girl outbuggy riding In benten by many blocks Ho

This habit of gallantry and tho sociabilityof tho bachelor chauffeur give rise to thofrequent pppctacleo of automobiles speed-ing through tho country towns 0 nIghtsfilled with gay and tuneful parties of girlsand chums The owner a Bishop perhapsmay bo miles away and snug in his bedbut the car w doing good servicegirls too are mostly bareheaded and theydo not sit swathed in dust coats and veilsas the women of the family do

Tho too tricky chauffeur may not bevery careful of his guests and as withTony Lumpkhi may be a frequenter of alehouses but the reliable men avoid thatsort of debauchery The chauffeur whohas a good job and deserves it is as gentlemanly as his owner would be to the youngwomen he takes more so andthe journeys end as the buggy rides usedto do very often at the altar

The position of a chauffeur in the household is a singularly Independent one Intown tho garage Is his headquarters andin the country it is the same except in afew extensive establishments that include-

a private garage lIe does not mix withthe houfteheld servants unless ho wishes-to and eats at a boarding house or hotelin the country or at his home if married-or where he will If single when the ownerU in town The owner pays the board billsin addition to the wages The best chauf-feurs are machinists by trade workmenwho command from 0 to 10 a dav and theymake ns much or more as drivers ofautomobiles

Horses get their toilets in the morningbut automobiles are rubbed down andcurrycombed tho last thing at night Thetires are cleaned axles oiled seats brushedmud rubbed off and tho paint work touchedup with varnish to keep it bright for itlacks the body of carriage colors and amere polishing with chamois cloth wouldnot suffice Once a week the crank boxin filled with cylinder oil to clean up thedust tIn mixture standing overnight andbeing run off in the morning

The chauffeur mentioned who made the1400 mileage in one week has run this onecar for eight months without costing theowner a dollar for repairs lIe is paid

200 a month with a board allowancoextra

As to road speeding or as they term itmaking time the Jewels of chauffeursa well as the too tricky ones are at hopeless

variance with the laws There seems tobe an idea among them that to be arrestedand fined at certain intervals is part of tbegame and makes them tree of the roadthat is in the country They all fear theNew York police They regard the con-

stable who bags them too as a persecu-

tor an unfair player of the game

Their gossip their talk is all of especially

fast runs made conspicuous by weatherconditions or something of tho sort Thechauffeurs quote a set of records and therecord breakers from every nearby town

and village Into list that for obviousreasons will never appear in type Anotherstock topic Is of the first arrest or hold upfor excessive speeding and whether thecharge was true or not This fact according to the brethren of the high gears hasno effect whatever on the rigor of the punishment The statements of the chauf-

feur however true never stand againstthe stop watch and charge of the countrysleuth-

It Is told of one chauffeur who had beencautioned about getting receipts for allExpenditures by the owner that on hisBrut sentence he told the Judge the manwas all right but he wanted a receiptedbill made out at once And adds thenarrator the durned Judge tacked on 10

more for contempt of court

themoet

is a has bPln

The

outperhaps

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often

towna

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The couple went down andstayed down

The water closed over them and becamesmooth again the only sign of the strugglegoing onunderneath being a few air bubblestbat shot up to the surface from the

ducker as he tugged to get away fromtho strong embrace of the avenger Itseemed like ten minutes to the spectatorsbefore the heads of the grappling pair cameto tho surface again Ruddy thought thatbo bad given lila man about enough

slightlyWhen the duckers head rose to the ur

face he was half drowned splutteringcrying and with huge gulps he tried getsome breath into his lungs And the littlebreath that he succeeded in getting heimmediately used In bcggiig for mercy

Now Ruddy has been a trifle for-Borne time and bo seemed to be harderof hearing tItan ever Paying not tholeast attention to these pleadings homore grabbed his victim and againtwo took a tong journey under the

This time Ruddy man doWnuntil he felt all movement stop andmans body began to relax Then tfbrought tho now unconscious ducker tthe top ot the water and towed him toshore

So far gone was fellow thatwas found necessary to use the barrelmethod to bring him back to life Andthis way of resuscitating a half drownedbather which at no time Is a gentle

was applied with all the vigor thatmight have been expected under the cir-

cumstances from the willing volunteewho gladly offered to assist

It was fully two hours before the big fellow recovered from hU lesson and whenho finally donned clothw ho slunkaway from the bathing place to the ac-companiment of a grand of jeersand biting remarks He has been seensince but It la the general opinion tbat heU thoroughly cured of holding some weakIng head under the waterv

MJ Mi f

downand

strang-ling

fothe first time and so relaxed his grft

de

c noohe

t e

th

the big It

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hot

oJ

3 11o J JI

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his

opera-tion

his

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The Confidence Man Who Boasts of aPrivate Secretary a Valet and an Autot

I

John Srosnldcr mm man U not BO

gunt as Mr Otikhurst nor so handsome asBunco Tom OBrien nor to fluent andplausible OH Toper ColLie Too He seems

to have studied the qualities ofall of them and o have gone as far AH hocould in each direction

Ho U quite the most outspoken person-of lib cLnsH that Now York has wen in a long-time iw tho DUtrlot Attorney will bearwJtnes Mr Strosnldor toldtrimming Dr Harris to tho tunn of 12600In financial undertaking whereby DrHarrh was to bent the American amblingSyndicate

Strouilder was not Indicted Instead hegot Dr HarrU and the physicians lawyerChampe Si Andrews into temporary troublewllh hU counter charge of extortion MrAndrews has gone abroad discharged andpresumably happy Dr Hard may 1 yetIn town Mr Stronntder U In Saratogabland and confident as ever

Out West they call him variously Big

sip

the

himnil about

Index finger In an adventure and tho losshampers his penmanship a

The con man was just giving orders tothe private secretary when a SON reporterfound them in the caf6 of an uptown hotel

Youd bettor got Porno money raidBtrosnlder Wo start for Saratoga fewdays The P H whipped out the faithfulcheckbook

Twentyfive hundred be suggestedOh Ive got a few bills to pay said tho

big man and you cant go to Saratogawith nothing Make it M000 Its no usetrying to got the currency today thehotel probably wont have that muchTake It to the bank in the morning

Bet you 2 to can name the winner ofthe fourth race said the private secretArywhen ho had put the signed check in hispocket

Ill bet you 3 to 1 I ron name her saidStrosnlder

Bet fOU Bllnketyblank won the thirdrace persisted the P H

In a

1 I

JAMESX x57ROSiY1DR

Strosnlder and Big Lem Sometimes hehas been referred to as Soarfaced Charleybut that U not quite proper as the hero ofthat name was a different person with amuch more distinct mark than Strosniderbears

Strosnlcler cut adorns right cheekand oNtends to hU ear and nock They

ho got It In a tight in prison at Trentonwith another convict

The Bertillon system uses the scar as aneasy means of identification hut that doesnot worry StroBiildor He couldnt hope toescape from tho poliue for he is too promi-

nent a personageHo U 8 feet 2 in hU stockings and

built in proportion Ilk hair h flaxen andhU face one not to be forgotten One mightas well think of forgetting what Pat Sheedylooks HUe or Handsome Will of Colonsbean foundry

The Bertillon record In Mulberry streetdoesnt say that Mr 8tro nider U alwaysaccompanied by his private secretorybut such fa the fact The P S Is exactlyhalf os big aa his employer Is lively as acrkket and merry as n grli

He Is not like one of Big Tim Sullivansecretaries He has work to do He looksafter all of Strosnlders correspondencecarries his money to tho bank and makesout his checks

Stroenlder signs the checks for he is notan illiterate person He doesnt like towrite too much for he lost halt of his right

say

his

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Diplomatic Exchanges Over a Studio DogIt was at a sludlo party that the dog

materialized Tho woman to whomdog was given and who also lives hi

a studio happened to look in the direction-of a much beplllowedthe foot of it was a puppywhite round chubby apparently a plastercast puppy until it opened Its eye and winked-

at herThe sweet thing she crlad I wish

I had itYou can have it said the owner a

six foot giant out of a with suspiciousreadiness

tan I keep it in ply studio she askeddubiously-

Of course ftts his reply I keep himhers f

Perhaps ff she had noticed the upliftedsome inmates of adjacent

studio in the same building she wouldhardly have said BO quickly

tet me have him When can you bringlittn to me

Tomorrow answered the six footerwith a large and comprehensive smile ofpure delight

What do you feed him she askedOh egg shells and any old thing Dont

give him too much meat this hot weathersan I take him out to a table dhote

dinnerThe very thing for him

Alt arrangements having been madetho woman went out to the country on thefollowing day and forgot all about the dogComing back on the day after shemot astudio neighbor on the street

Its a good thing you have arrivedtho neighbor declared We are allabout exhausted trying to takeyour dog Yesterday a six foot giant witha pleasant manner came to my door andasked me to keep him for you If I hadknewn

WITCHS FOOT

Dackiperts Favorite Story and the Monu-ment That Proves It

BANGoR Aug 18 Close by the road onthe outskirts of the seaport town ofport on tho Penobsoot River Is

family cemetery In Us enclosure sleepthe Bucks the family which founded thetown and gave it the name and a legend

The largest and most conspicuous monu-

ment in the cemetery is a tall granite shaftwhich is in plain sight of the highway On

side la tho inscription Col JohnBuck the founder of Buaksport A D

Born In Mass 1718

March 18 17M

frtand the

rjot

ot

jUt

Buck

I

ne

UrI Did

tdJt1 t

eyebroil

LEGEND OF TIlE

17c3

o te other single word-y

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Say said Strosnider yourmind making those think bets Then hediverted his attention from the privatesecretary

Some one said the other day that I wasbroke he said Ill never be broke aslong as Ive got a hand to sign a checkIll have money long after Dr hasgone to the bad Say hes a isnthe Its too bad about him

It was queer how I met him I neverchased him a step I strolled into an automobile show in Paris just to look aroundand there was Eby Shaw of Chicago whomIve known for years and whos got all

moneywas sitting In a big Panhard and

when he saw me there was nothing to ithut we must go and have some wine Wejoined a party at a table and Harris wasone of them

He got Interested in me at once Shawtold him I was a millionaire from Pittsburgand Harris got all excited about me

There was another one in the party anEnglishman who was just the same way-

I picked those two out for suckers and dovoted my attention to them or ratherlet them devote their attention to me

Harris wanted to know all about mehow long I was going to stay abroad where-I when I was in New York and all

learned that I had a wife andchild and insisted that they should meethis wife and boy That came lout later

Bars

kind

jived

¬

I kept him all night He whined continually About 4 this morning he began-to drag things about my room-

I had to tie him with a long rope Howin the world are you going to keep a dog-like that in your studio

is he now asked the ownerroof

The owner rushed home She had nosooner entered her studio than she heardwhines near ho skylight on the roof

Out in the hall was the iron ladder reaching to the roof It was straight up anddown The sun shone blaringly throughthe aperture She hurried to an artist wholives acronjj the hall from her

My poor little doggie Is on the roof Inall this sun she told him He will die ofIt Co get him

The artist weighed about 200 pounds huthe was accommodating Presently he camedown per endioular ladder with the

off him and the dog inhU arms

Poor little fellow he said shouldhave seen him when I went Cried forme So afraid I would down withouthim He ii half dead with the heat

The woman took the dog In her arms antIpressed hU pretty little yellow and whitelace to liars

Ill him In my studio she said andlock the door till come Kick Ive togo out again If you hear him whine toomuch to

Site untied tho rope and left the puppyloose In the room not

Bo good admonished him

back but the artist had heard no whines

When she opened her door she thereason why hardly herstudio screens were her pillowswere strewn In tne path of the stormcontents of her were scatteredto the four winds

The work basket was torn into shredstho pompons were off her slippers and Inseparate corners and the cause of this

Buck and a curious outline which withthe help of the imagination might be theprint of a loot of normal size

The as told U that Cot JonathanBuok was a very harsh man and the lead-Ing spirit of his day and generation Hewas the highest in civil authority andword was law in the community in whichho resided When a certain woman wasooouBod of witchcraft at the first clamorIIIKS of the populace Col Buck orderedthat she be Imprisoned and later she wasrcntcnced cm a witch

The execution day cnmo and the womanwent to tho prlloTp cursing herThe was about toduly rhtfc womrn turned to Col Buck

We-re

tie luring

ut

more hour beforegothe

legend

judehan mm

and G

it wal titan an she

saw

his

Ito

¬

and Harris made a great fuss over my

was going back to thUoountry soonto ba sure and see me as

soon a Ive lot in my pocketa postal card ho sent me tho morning heloft

It thusDun Mn BTKOSNIDKR I forgot to ask

where a would eaten you that U to aayyour permanent address In Europe Weenjoyed having Strosnider and your-self with us list evening Be careful whiletraveling and do not let any one advise youwrong especially at Monte Carlo where fortune lost In a nlcbt We leave at llUAddress Hotel MatropoU London Sin-

cerely JOHH A HARRIS M D

Wasnt he careful about said Strosnider He was afraid I would be ledastray at Carlo And to think thatbe gets and ays that thenight ho lost the he reallywant to play but was afraid toWhy say that night everybody In the sam

boyle

want

Par

ire

me

Monther

ddt

Mrs ¬

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bllng house was hi evening drewI Mr Strosnider at the thought-

of what he todo to him

He talks about my record Why Ivegot antecedents that best his a blockAll my people down in Pennsylvania are

Senatorssaid by others to be the

fact It is asserted that theonly one of his family who hu ever beenworried by the police

Stroonlder is very proud of his own familyHe keeps his wife and child in a fine housein Flatbusb He had them with him atthe PanAmerican Exposition in 1W1 whenhe was running a gambling house at Tons

N Y and the three made a veryparty

I may go abroad in the fall said Strosnider I usually run over two or threetimes a year to look things over and makeprofitable acquaintances

I manage to keep a valet and a modestautomobile when necessary and I probablyshall continue to do so until the end of thechapter My adventures abroad Oh noI dont care to talk about such privatematters except when they concern anything-like the Harris cue which was dragged intopublicity much against my will

Say Id like to know why Dr Harriswears such long whiskers How long didit take him to lose the 12500 Oh aboutfifteen minutes

wale Bar

Judgealt

wand

destruction having hung himself in theof the cover looked out from

another corner behind the guitarThe little face was so pretty uncon-

scious too that him a

out the window and wonderingShe came to a hasty She

had been at outs PAle was afriend She would send him anony-

mously to Edia as a peacewho had vouchsafed her this

delicate attention she would be friendswith her

She accordingly for a messenger apretty blue

broadly when he saw the dog Shea pink ribbon the

neck kissed goodhy andhim with haste the boy

no condition to give the name address or description of the sender

Forty the boyat the price aa she

counted out theShe forgot his existence until she met

and received in lieu of a smile andfrozen stars Then she suddenlybored

She sought out a common friendthe I sent her

him innocentlywas the reply

I went to see her the next daystraightening up her studio It aa I

a passed throughEale herself was a wreck

She had a steeples Thehad begun early morning 4

tothe floor one after the

When he she in her

window She lIves on the eleventh floorBut she didntNoWhat did doShe took him out for a walk and de

lost him I suppose thegot him by now

After a moment-If I were he added It I

to meander along that street I would walkon the Edlea studio

Jonathan Buck listen to thosethe last my tongue shall utter Itspirit of the living God which bids me tospeak to you You will soon die and overyour grave they will erect a stone that allmay know the spot where your bone layand crumble to dust Upon that stonethe imprint of my foot shall appear andfor all time after your accursed race hasvanished from the face of the earth willthe people from far and near know that youmurdered a woman

The Imprint of the foot theappeared on the stone a month after it waa

It is thereplain aa ever photographers

taken a toU pee ummervWtors I

and In

ad-Ele

tie

dd she

on the some two latrem

be-

akedw

look

abuare Iwrath and to the

she

word

A-teBuck to

o oc I 1 A t

little stood with him herarnis looking

rangwo

Edio street weeks

other nine

threatened throw

dog-catchers

story goes

cemetery ass te witoha foot

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HELPLESS MAN IN

Looks to Woman to Help Him Out Till a Woman

the Other Hand Finds for Herself

SUMMERt-

on

I wonder how many thousands of menare being carried thin summer bywomen she asked meditatively turning-

a sleeve upside down to catch up with thefashions

What on earth do you mean MagleUasked her companion equally Intent oncutting off Use tall of a summer gown tokeep up with the procession

I mean that of strandedmen and that women are seeing themthrough

What womenHard working kind hearted women

Women like ourselves lodging house keep-

er mistresses of boarding houses washHow many at this minute have you

onto your skirts

II havent any Have I got It shortenough She stood up holding tho cur

to her aidetake off about an Inch more In the

back Id Ilk to know what that yellowhatred boy was waylaying you In the hall

But I do know I knew by theway your hand went to your

He wanted to borrow moneybe did and J lent him 3 But he

will pay me baokCertainly he will pay you in timewhen

he gets a job They are not dead beetsany of them They are simply stranded-

In one way or another almost everywoman I know Is pulling two or three menthrough tight places What else can onedo

When young Roscoe halts at my roomdoor just aa I am getting lunch and stands

his his stomach I know heto eat and that he la hun-

gry That happens at least threeweek The other days he goesMartins

Well Ill admit to you that verythe milk and food I put outside theroom window is gone in the morning and-

I heard Roftooe one night say to that newman that hethad got up because he wasBO hungry he couldnt sleep When itcomes to being hungry I grudge themnothing Im like a wild beast when Imhungry and Id drink anybodys milk

As for the women who let rooms theyget ao deeply in debt to them that theyhave to keep them as hostages I know oneman that owes Mrs Flanagan 100 room

rentTo be sure he never knows what he Iscoming home to Now he is at the top ofthe house and now in the basement Ifhe wants a rug or washstand she goes to

his room and takes itBut all this one might say is only tho

on his debt I guess he is gladput up with it

I know those restaurant people chalkup a half dozen in the saute way Poorfellows they cant even economize on theirfood for put inance at their

tentMen are so Incapable Thats whatastonishes me

Id to hear you tell them thatIt If money runs low

you make your and launderyour own clothes But a man goes on

the same until he car fare Illyou havent kept of theyou have supplied in this house this

summerI got 10 cents back the other day that I

lent Ainslle to go to William street to an-swer an advertisement He got the placeand I got my car fare back Thereall right now isnt it

Maglets a critical sweep of the eyearound of the gown

be better Itll look like a new

lad

tiel-

orrypoke

with handtime

oren

Inter

the the app

lie you

Jut hat

tatsgave

Cult

car-

fare

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The door opened and a tall girl swept I

like a tornadoJulia Youro worse than the writ

wind Help me pick those things upGirl congratulate met Ive got a job

Itrf for tho blograph-I my wits end and it occurred

to me that somebody must do thoseso I hunted up the place and applied Iam to be a spinster regular stage effectand I want you to help me out with the ooo-

tumeWere to go to the park in an automo-

bile and do all aorta of itunU Good paytoo They want another man and I pro-posed it to JlOBCoe I know he hwnt acent But he said it was too hot

There What did I My Julia is nwoman and she takes what she can getrather than be idle Rosooe would ratherbe Idle until ho gets what he wants

I Julia I guess not Lastsummer after the season closed I sewed for-

a dressmaker all summer It paid my billsat least The before I addressedenvelopes and what Ureally funny I havent told this beforeI played the drum in a ladles brass band Inthe

Tho two women then told their topic ofconversation

Oh tliis house is no exception said Julianor la this an off year I lived in another

house where there were eighteen of usequally divided and we nine women actu-ally kept the nine men from Notone had or could get to doAt least they thought they couldnt Itamounts to the same thing

But why oh why do they stay hereasked Maglet Why dont they go Intothe country where the fields are whiteningwith the harvest and the laborers are fewand the pay good

So would Mag if they were Har-vard But the most ofthem are only hope of onengagement is to be on the spot I ap-

preciate that myself Nothing would dragme out of walking distance of Broadway-The only chance is to hang on

I asked Mrs Flanagan the other dayif she had her choice whom would sheselect aa clients

clients Mag I thank thee for teach-ing me that word

Well lodgers then Roomers I willnot say Mother F almost leaped to

Clerks she shrieked Actors and artstudents are no good Aolerk baa steadywork steady pay and hes an all roundthe year man God blew the clerks menand womenis the lodging house womansprayer Actors and art student coins andgo and on mighty little money Medicalstudents arent bad Good enough paywhile theyre here but soon gone

the professional view of the

What did she say about us Julia askedUs I didnt ask for I know that she

couldnt pay her rent every if itwasnt for us

Well Id like to have thdr credit IknowWe women simply live to pay our bOUweekly

Credit What do you think Deloraeto lend him five There

be a game ofroom and he wanted to play Wasnt thathe limit

Did you tell him BO-

No I told him I hadnt it Ieither So he went andMother F

It was a filer on her partIt was that For he won all the

had paid her a back

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The Family Bachelor Wants a Home

and No Cares This is What He GetsThe family bachelor ls one who lives

and has his being in the house oChls friendsHe Is th product of a combination of

He Is something more to thefatally than a brother

The family bachelor Is the only man in thehouse from the head of the familyHe begins with the belief that be needshome comfort without any domestlo incumbranoes

There is no census of the family bachelorin New his name is legion Thestory the story of M per cent ofthe brotherhood So this story that one ofthem told at a baohelor dinner describes-the fate of all

The people with whom I make my homehave disinterested friendship-for me ways than there are testi-monials in a new medicine advertisement-he said If I should die tonight or anyold night they would go out among myacquaintances and tell a story that would

me a first claw funeral with an extradisplay They would even Ue for me

If I should be discovered-But there are times when have

a sort of longing to and live Inchambers or at the club Once in a whilethe things which you fellows dream aboutu novelties gee to be a sort of handicap

You have of the leadpipe cinchIt Is not have supposed Thefamily bachelor is that In other wordshe is weighted

the with whom hecompany for the family

bachelor is trotted out booked tosay things Luckless chap is ho f he can

There is always a young woman an onlydaughter In the home I am talking aboutAlways a nice girl with a big N and a QYou are never asked to do anything for herhappiness and comfort But youknow four or six weeks in advance abouther birthday Some way about Christ-mas

She has young girls who come to see herAll nice girls Somehow they never comewith their beaus They come in groups-or In ever single

If aa now you knowthe fondness of girls for strolls for ridesfor a jolly tired and gone to bedThe family metamorphosed into-a chaperon

You fellows think chaperon Is feminine-It Is and It isnt It is not where you area family bachelor is no mathe-matical you any sortof variety and amount ofJolly it requires to satisfy a bevy of summerSirto girls with fluffy gowns

Not long ago the girl where I live had arow with her best fellow It wee up to

him jealous Several plans byand mater famlliaa went

ttlMtl suggested on of my own Beault

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an encounter a knock out a narrow ea ride in the Mocadoo motor

long ago the girls mother was calledout of town hurriedly One evening there-after the girl expected her beau Her fatherwas out at a poker game somewhere her

had that night oft and the cookshe wasnt around-

I was summoned into a room where therewas Egyptian darkness The girl explainedalmost hysterically that I must hook her upas there was no one else and time wanearly up I started to scratch a andshe shrieked She sold I must r inthe dark

Honest fellows I never hooked upgirl even in the light Never She saidI must hurry and me to astandstill and

I did the best I knew how Then I fledA few moments later I heard a wiles In thocorridor

Youve hooked me upside down WMthe shriek and skipped every other hookYou did it on purpose I believe

I began to apologizeStay where you are she screamed

Then there was a lullthe bell she shrieked You

must answer it There Is no one in tImapartment You must entertain Mr Dasuntil I get into something else

Why didnt you think of that In theplace I asked somewhat nettled

Please go hurry up there Is the secondring

vI was in tho parlor fortyfive minute

I told a lot of lies in that time in order tohold the young man down ac tho ex-

piration the stated the womanIn a perfect dream in placidity and

bewitchery You wouldntat her that her temper hnd ever

been rumpledwas so sorry to bo late hut time

machine had a blocks war mulshe had to hurry by oar That was herstory

Then I went out and left them Thonestday her mama and thuro wornsome explanations-

I am not quite so much of familybachelor as I was but I overheardinterview the of fashion nail I

think it mother who said that suchgarments as hooked behind were to Nsent to the modiste and chanRiKi Then-I another Voice that a man who

hook up a girl In the lork musibe a chump

Where We CJrt Our SaltFrom the Boiion crflW

Salt U M common an article tjhil onenstonlfihecl when ho renllo Iho hmount nIt produced In StntrMyear 1004 The iiiiinher of barrels vnn 5J-

oso tt valued t l02t2 In nf il-

f ormniiB output cmnl if mostly fromYork rid United 8tnlrsilt to the value of over half a

Mir not numerous these In NewMichigan Ohio brine

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