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Stress Less and

Get Your Life Back

By Shivam Kohls

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Contents

Introduction ............................................................................ 1

When Are Humans Most Happy? ............................................. 2

4 Pillars of Health and Well-Being ............................................ 3

Get Your Life Back on Track Now! ............................................ 3

Why the 4 Pillars? .................................................................... 3

Physical Body ........................................................................... 4

Exercise ................................................................................... 4

Nutrition .................................................................................. 6

Recipes .................................................................................... 8

Mental/Emotional ................................................................. 11

Stress Reaction and Stress Response ..................................... 11

7 Attitudes of Mindfulness .................................................... 17

Spiritual ................................................................................. 22

Environment .......................................................................... 23

Life Assessment Bagua Balance Wheel .................................. 29

Setting Intentions .................................................................. 31

In Conclusion ......................................................................... 35

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Introduction

Even though most of the clients I work with are stressed out women struggling to get their life back, this eBook has an abundance of valuable health and wellbeing tips for everyone.

You have arrived here and there is a reason why you are reading this eBook. You are a person who has goals and a vision for a different life for yourself but may be so stressed out and overwhelmed by your current life’s circumstances that you feel you are being sucked into a whirling vortex.

On top of it, you may be engaging in unhealthy habits to help soothe the pain, but unfortunately, those habits are only making things worse. You would like to feel fully engaged in your life, experiencing high levels of vitality and energy but the stress has taken a toll on your health and wellbeing.

This may be causing many sleepless nights, alternating anxiety and depression, lack of exercise, over indulging in TV and social media as well as using alcohol and food to self soothe.

If you’re like most people, you’ve tried different approaches to deal with stress and the resulting symptoms. You may have read a variety of self-help books on stress management, and other holistic methods, but it was hard to implement any of the practices on your own. You might have even tried meditation but found that it didn’t stop the parade of stressful thoughts.

You know about the health benefits of eating well and exercising but it is hard to exercise regularly when you just don’t have the energy.

While some of these methods might have taken the edge off of your symptoms, you feel like you have been on a merry-go-round of trying new things but you still feel stressed out. You don’t want to get your hopes up one more time and try one more thing that doesn’t work.

You know you need to get a handle on your stress because it has affected your health and wellbeing. You want to take steps towards your goals and dreams but you just don’t have the internal resources or clarity.

Where and how do you begin? You can start here.

“Vibrant health and wellbeing is the foundation and key to your success in

every area of your life!”

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When Are Humans Most Happy? When are humans most happy? To gather data on this question, Matt Killingsworth, a Harvard scientist, built an app, Track Your Happiness, that lets people report their feelings in real time. Among the surprising results:

“We’re often happiest when we are present in the moment. On the flip side, the more we are lost in thought instead of being present with whatever we are doing, the less happy we are.”

TEDx Want to be happier? Stay in the moment | Matt Killingsworth

Most stress reduction methods don’t work very well because they only attempt to alleviate the surface symptoms, like applying a temporary band aid. In order to really heal from stress-related challenges, a person needs to address any underlying core issues; along with nutrition, exercise, mindfulness practices, environmental imbalances and more.

Multiple approaches support one another and create a larger context for healing. That’s why I created the 4 Pillars of Health and Wellbeing program and why it is so effective.

I know from working with hundreds of clients, that this has been true for them, too. You may need to put more attention into one or more of the Pillars than the others. This is normal. Acknowledge yourself for having some good habits already in place that are supporting you in your healing journey.

“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this, I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a secret here for

anyone who can grasp it.” ~~~

Rumi

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4 Pillars of Health and Well-Being

Get Your Life Back on Track Now! 1st Pillar: PHYSICAL BODY – Learn new strategies to experience optimal health, well-being, and vitality. What do you do for yourself on a daily basis to enhance and support your well-being? Daily exercise or some type of movement, healthy nutrition, rest and good sleep are essential to vibrant health and well-being.

2nd Pillar: MENTAL / EMOTIONAL – Learn mindfulness tools and meditation, which will help you reduce stress and anxiety and create more balance in your life. Learn how to transform negative beliefs, emotional challenges and sabotaging behaviors so that you can connect to your inner wisdom and resources.

3rd Pillar: SPIRITUAL – Create your own personal daily practice of doing things that uplift and engage your connection to spirit. By doing these activities, you are expanding your capacity to experience joy, light, beauty and peace even when your life feels challenging and stressful. It is like drinking a healing elixir from a spiritual well during times when your heart and soul feels battered.

4th Pillar – ENVIRONMENT – Create a healing, calm and peaceful sanctuary in your home through the practice of Feng Shui. Discover how clearing clutter and organizing your home and office can reduce stress and remove obstacles which will open up new pathways in your life.

If you are extremely stressed out and overwhelmed, please be kind to yourself and do something soothing, nourishing and calming every day.

Why the 4 Pillars? Good physical health is your foundation for life. Having vibrant health and vitality gives you the internal resources so that you can enjoy, contribute and create a fulfilling life.

Examining your beliefs will help you let go of habits and patterns that are not supporting your health and wellbeing. Mindfulness practices alleviate stress by helping you stay in the present. Much of our stress comes from ruminating about the past or worrying about the future.

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Your unique spiritual connection is like oxygen for the soul. The English word "spirit" comes from the Latin spiritus, meaning "breath", but also "spirit, soul, courage and vigor.” A healthy spiritual connection will breathe life into your goals, dreams and aspirations, while lifting you up during some of your darkest moments.

Your home is the physical manifestation of your inner consciousness. Creating a conscious environment that supports your dreams, goals and aspirations is like being carried easily by the current rather than feeling like you’re swimming upstream.

Let’s get started! After you have read about each of the 4 Pillars, notice which ones your heart is drawn to exploring more deeply. Trust your heart.

Physical Body

Exercise Human beings are born to move, and movement is intrinsic to experiencing a healthy vibrant life. Doing some form of exercise or movement every day is recommended. Physical exercise is one of the best ways to release tension, anxiety, and stress by reducing stress hormones like cortisol, and increasing the feel-good endorphins which are important for balanced physical and emotional health.

Regular exercise can help to improve your focus and concentration, support weight loss by increasing your metabolism, give you more energy during the day, and sleep well at night.

Try to bring mindfulness to your exercise activity. Notice what happens when you are present when you exercise or move instead of being lost in thought. You can move mindfully no matter how fast or slow you are moving. You may discover that moving mindfully gives you more enjoyment of the activity and will also help prevent injury from pushing too hard.

I move my body every day in ways that are enjoyable for me

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If you work in an office and sit most of the day, try bringing your tennis shoes to work and take a brisk walk during your lunch hour. Find someone to work out with. Buy a yoga mat and do some yoga or stretching at home before or after work. Instead of meeting your friends for lunch or dinner, suggest that you take a walk together.

To balance out your exercise routine, try doing yoga, tai chi or qi gong – all of these have been scientifically proven to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, increase flexibility, enhance immune function, reduce inflammation and more.

Spend time outdoors when you can.

Shinrin-yoku or Forest Bathing

Being in nature especially walking in a forest is incredibly healing on many levels. In Japan, they call it Shinrin-yoku or Forest Bathing.

Shinrin-yoku is a term that means "taking in the forest atmosphere" or "forest bathing." It was developed in Japan during the 1980s and has become a cornerstone of preventive health care and healing in Japanese medicine. Researchers primarily in Japan and South Korea have established a robust body of scientific literature on the health benefits of spending time under the canopy of a living forest. Now their research is helping to establish shinrin-yoku and forest therapy throughout the world.

The idea is simple: if a person simply visits a natural area and walks in a relaxed way, there are calming, rejuvenating and restorative benefits to be achieved. We have always known this intuitively. But in the past several decades there have been many scientific studies that are demonstrating the mechanisms behind the healing effects of simply being in wild and natural areas. (Some of this research is available here). For example, many trees give off organic compounds that support our “NK” (natural killer) cells that are part of our immune system's way of fighting cancer.

Learn more about the benefits of Forest Bathing and how it can improve your health and well-being here.

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Nutrition A general guideline is to eat an organic, mostly plant-based diet. If you do eat animal protein, then it is best to find meat that comes from grass-fed animals that are free-range and live most of the time outdoors with access to sunlight and are hormone and antibiotic free.

• Try to eat four small meals a day to keep your metabolism working optimally.

• Eat a healthy nutritious breakfast with protein. Smoothies made with berries, greens, protein powder and unsweetened nut milks are easy and very nutritious. You will need a Blend-Tec or Vita-Mix blender. (menu suggestions below)

• A plant-based diet includes beans, legumes, nuts, seeds, and grains. Always soak them in water first before cooking for best health benefits. See this link for details. Instructions for Preparing Grains, Legumes, Nuts & Seeds

• Stay clear of processed/packaged foods, sugar and processed white flour and rice. • Eliminate or keep dairy products to a minimum and be mindful of alcohol

consumption. • If you think you may be insulin resistant or know that you have a hard time

metabolizing sugar or are trying to lose weight, eat mostly low glycemic fruit such as apples and berries and keep the high glycemic fruit to a minimum.

• Drink at least 64 oz. of water each day. Buy a 32 oz. water bottle and always keep it with you.

• If you are trying to lose weight, be conscious of portion sizes because calories do add up!

Practice being mindful of snacking or eating when you are not hungry. Pause a moment before putting food into your mouth and check in for a moment. Are you really hungry or are you feeling any uncomfortable feelings or emotions? Angry, sad, frustrated, bored, anxiety, overwhelmed, lonely?

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When you notice a craving for anything and you are cruising the refrigerator or cupboards, or about to get lost in Facebook or the Internet, play a quick game called Stop Wait Pause Proceed.

Wait for 3 minutes after you first have that craving. Sit or lie down and stop completely, notice your breathing and whatever thoughts or feelings are present. If the craving is still there after 3 minutes, go for it!

Experiment with eating mindfully and notice the difference when you are present and mindful when you eat vs doing something else while eating like watching TV, reading, checking emails or just being lost in a stream of thinking. Here is a great article to get started.

Even though we lead busy lives and it is tempting to skip breakfast or grab something on the way out the door, breakfast is a very important meal because it helps to fuel us for the day. Be sure to start your day off right by eating breakfast within 1 to 2 hours of arising.

I always have a super jam-packed nutritious smoothie every morning (recipe below). I go by the 80%-20% rule: 80% of my diet is super healthy. My diet consists primarily of organic vegetables and small amounts of organic, low-glycemic fruit. I eat minimal grains, cheese, alcohol, and no meat, except for a small amount of sustainably caught cold water fish like line-caught tuna and wild salmon.

I drink non-dairy milk, eat no sugar, and only allow a small amount of raw honey or organic maple syrup. I love to bake and have a few awesome recipes that are sweet without sugar, nutritious and delicious. Here are some of my favorite nutritious recipes.

Go inside and listen to your body because your body will never lie to you.

Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart,

in your guts, is the truth. ~~~

Miguel Ruiz

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Recipes

Shivam’s Super Nutritious Breakfast Smoothie Ingredients

• 1 scoop Protein powder • Super green powder • Unsweetened nut milk • Wild organic blueberries • Experiment with adding fresh greens; spinach, kale, romaine lettuce, dandelion • Ground flax seed

Method

Blend ingredients together in a blender.

• Another one I like for a cleansing detox effect instead of fresh greens and berries is to use 1 granny smith apple, juice of 2 lemons or limes, a handful of fresh mint, 4 Tbsp. of grated fresh ginger, 2 pieces of fresh turmeric – along with unsweetened nut milk and iced tea.

Oatmeal Bake with Eggs and Peanut Butter

Oatmeal baked with eggs, peanut butter and nut milk have enough protein to keep you and your blood sugar and metabolism satisfied until lunchtime. Also, great as a between meal snack.

Ingredients

• Olive oil spray • 2 cups whole rolled organic oats • 2 tsp. cinnamon • 2 eggs • 3 cups unsweetened nut milk • ½ cup organic peanut or almond butter • 2 organic Granny Smith apples, chopped or fresh organic blueberries

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Method

1. Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees – Coat an 8 x 8 baking dish with olive oil spray. 2. In a large bowl combine oats and cinnamon. 3. In a medium bowl combine eggs, unsweetened nut milk and peanut or almond

butter. 4. Add chopped apples or blueberries. 5. Bake for 20 minutes. • Options: add up to 4 extra eggs and 6 scoops of protein powder for an extra

protein boost

Vegan Paleo Sweet Potato Brownies

These brownies are healthy and good for you! They are moist, paleo, vegan, gluten-free, and delicious! This recipe uses maple syrup which is good for you. You could also substitute with raw honey which is also good for you. What else makes these so healthy?

The sweet potato is naturally sweet, improves regulation of blood sugar and has anti-inflammatory benefits. Did you know that maple syrup contains 54 antioxidants that help prevent diseases caused by free radicals such as diabetes and cancer?

Always use organic ingredients.

Ingredients

• 4 medium sweet potatoes unpeeled • ½ cup (or more) unsweetened almond or coconut milk • ½ cup smooth almond or peanut butter • 2 Tbsp. maple syrup or raw honey (or more to taste) • ¼ cup cocoa powder (or more to taste) • 2 Tbsp. vanilla extract • ½ to 1 cup of coconut flakes (optional) • ½ cup powdered Maca (optional)

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease a small cake/loaf pan.

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2. On the stove, melt nut butter with maple syrup and vanilla. 3. Sauté peeled and cubed sweet potato in almond or coconut milk. 4. In a large bowl add the mashed sweet potato, melted nut butter and maple syrup,

and cocoa powder and mix well. Fold in coconut flakes (optional). 5. Pour mixture into greased pan and bake for 20 minutes or until cooked through. 6. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before refrigerating – then

slice. 7. These brownies are best when cooled completely. Keep in refrigerator. They are

great for breakfast with a bit of yogurt on top!

Turmeric Golden Milk Drink Anti-Inflammatory - Immune Support - Helps You Sleep

Ingredients

• 3 cups unsweetened almond milk • I cup coconut milk • 4 tsp. turmeric powder or 4 one inch fresh turmeric root, peeled and chopped • 2 inch piece of ginger, peeled and chopped • 1 tsp. cinnamon • 1 tsp. cardamom • 1 tsp. nutmeg • ½ teaspoon black pepper • ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper • 2 tablespoons maple syrup

Ingredient amounts can be adjusted to taste – I always add more spices, ginger and turmeric.

Method

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to boil and simmer for 20 minutes. Drink warm. Keep in refrigerator up to 4 days. This is a great drink if you have a cold or respiratory infection. When I make a batch, I put 8 ounces in my morning smoothie drink too.

Here is a great resource for healthy food recipes.

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Mental/Emotional

The benefits of practicing mindfulness are huge! Scientific studies have shown that a regular practice can reduce anxiety, depression and help with pain management. Mindfulness can improve memory, concentration, focus, and creativity. Mindfulness meditation can reduce reactive, addictive and self- destructive behavior.

Wait there’s more! Mindfulness meditation can improve heart and circulatory health by reducing blood pressure, improves brain function, immune system, reduce aging and improve mental and physical stamina.

And as an added benefit, you will be more present for each moment of your life, fully engaged and connected to your body and senses. We call this Beginners Mind. When you walk out the door in the morning, you will be aware of your feet on the ground. Walking towards your car, you are aware of the colors of the trees, plants, flowers and their fragrance; the neighborhood, houses, cars, people, and animals; the fresh air as you breathe; the temperature on your skin. Imagine being mindful and experiencing what is present and moment to moment like this all day long?

Stress Reaction and Stress Response From the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook by: Bob Stahl and Elisha Goldstein

What if you could become mindful of your stress reactions and learn to respond to them more constructively and harmoniously? When you become aware of the stress in your life and how it affects your body and mind, you can begin to develop skills to bring greater balance to your life and how you respond to stress. In “Full Catastrophe Living” Jon-Kabat-Zinn makes an important distinction between a stress reaction and a stress response.

The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody

rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond

themselves. ~~~

Alan Watts

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Unconscious habitual patterns fuel stress reactions often learned from past challenges and experiences. These patterns include maladaptive coping techniques such as smoking, substance abuse, workaholism, and general busyness and in the long run, often lead to a mental and physical breakdown. A stress response, on the other hand, involves acknowledging emotions rather than suppressing them while also developing tools for working with them. You learn to respond to stress mindfully and gradually begin to break the old default patterns of unawareness associated with stress reactions, opening the door to new ways of working with stress and transforming it. Awareness is like bringing a light to the darkness of mindless reactions. Once you can see them more clearly, you can choose to respond more skillfully.

Explore: How is Stress or Anxiety Affecting Your Life?

Take some time to reflect on the following questions, noticing whatever comes up in your thoughts, feelings and body sensations. When you’re ready, write some of your thoughts in your journal. You may have more to write about for some questions than others. It’s important to write this down rather than simply thinking about it.

• How is stress or anxiety about people affecting your life? • How is stress or anxiety about work affecting your life? • How is stress or anxiety about the world affecting your life? • How is stress or anxiety about food, drinking or eating habits affecting your life? • How is stress or anxiety about sleep and sleep disturbances affecting your life? • How is stress or anxiety about exercise or lack of physical activity affecting your life?

Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle

~~~ Unknown

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Here are some easy mindfulness practices to experiment with that will support you in responding to stress vs. reacting.

Remember the TED talk at the beginning about what makes people happy!

Informal Mindfulness Practice: Pick one mundane daily activity and do that task mindfully with full awareness every day; noticing colors, smells, tastes (if applicable), sounds, physical sensations. Just be present with the task. If your mind wanders and you notice you are lost in thought, gently guide your focus back to the task and begin again; you could be taking a shower, walking the dog, drinking coffee, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, walking to the car. Notice the difference between being present while doing something vs. being lost in thought.

“Try stopping, sitting down, and becoming aware of your breathing once in a while throughout the day. It can be for five minutes, or even five seconds. Let go into full acceptance of the present moment, including how you are feeling and what you perceive to be happening.

For these moments, don’t try to change anything at all, just breathe and let go. Breathe and let be. Die to having to have anything be different in this moment; in your mind and in your heart, give yourself permission to allow this moment to be exactly as it is, and allow yourself to be exactly as you are.

Then, when you’re ready, move in the direction your heart tells you to go, mindfully and with resolution”. ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn~

Three - Minute Breathing Space: This is a brief check-in meditation to practice at least once a day and ideally multiple times during the day to check in and notice what is happening, which will help you to relax and release tension and refresh your energy and mental clarity.

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The Three-Minute Breathing Space

At various times during your day, see if it is possible to step out of “automatic pilot" for a few minutes in the following way:

1. WHAT’S HERE? (BECOMING AWARE)

Notice your posture. Straighten your spine and generally relax the body.

With your eyes either open or closed, silently ask yourself:

"What is my experience right now... in my thoughts... my feelings... and my bodily sensations?

Recognize and accept your experience, even if it is unwanted.

2. BREATHING (GATHERING)

Then, gently redirect your full attention to your breathing, to each in-breath and each outbreath as they follow, one after the other. Try noting at the back of your mind:

“Breathing in ... breathing out” or counting the breaths.

Do this for one or two minutes as best you can, using the breathing as an anchor to bring you into the present and help you tune into a state of awareness and stillness.

3. EXPANDING OUTWARDS

Open the field of your awareness around your breathing, so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression.

Allow your attention to expand to the whole body - including any sense of discomfort, tension, or resistance. If these sensations are there, then bring your awareness to them by “breathing into them” on the in-breath. Then, breathe out from those sensations, softening and opening with the out-breath. If you wish, you can say to yourself on the out-breath,

“It’s OK Whatever it is, it's OK to Let me feel it. It is here already so I may as well be present for it.”

As best you can, bring this expanded awareness to the next moments of your day.

You can adapt this to what works best for you. The aim is to simply maintain awareness in the present moment and to shift modes from doing to being, as best you can.

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Below are two links, one is for the Mindfulness Sitting Meditation, and the other is the Body Scan, which is best done lying down.

Mindfulness Sitting Meditation:

Mindfulness is paying attention, non- judgmentally to whatever is happening, moment to moment. This mindfulness sitting meditation will help you return to the present moment when the mind wanders (which it will many times!) by guiding your focus and attention back to the breath, body sensations and sounds.

Mindfulness meditation helps build the muscle of focus and concentration so that you aren’t being swept away by life’s challenges and circumstances but are able to slow down enough and pause, to see clearly what is happening, so that you can respond and make choices from a place of wise discernment rather than habitual auto pilot reactions.

Mindfulness research shows that nonjudgmental awareness of present moment experience helps reduce stress, anxiety and depression while enhancing focus, concentration and memory as well as increasing mental and emotional resilience.

Body Scan Guided Audio:

The Body Scan is an investigation into the moment to moment experiences of the body by bringing awareness to each part of the body and noticing whatever sensations you feel or don’t feel – pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

During this process the body may show you where physical tension, emotions, feelings and thoughts reside in the body. You will be noticing and trying your best to feel any sensations directly, noticing the mind’s tendency to get triggered by certain sensations and get lost in labeling, judging or getting lost in a story. And when that happens, the moment you notice you have drifted off the practice, you guide your attention back to the body. You may fall asleep.

“A diminished awareness of the present moment inevitably creates other

problems for us as well, through our unconscious and automatic actions and behaviors, often driven by deep seated

fears and insecurities”. ~~~

Jon Kabat-Zinn

The body says what words cannot. ~~~

Martha Graham

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If that happens regularly, try to do the Body Scan at a different time of the day or do it sitting up. Make sure you are warm enough and have any props like a pillow under your head, a cushion under your knees and practice at a time when you will not be disturbed or interrupted.

Benefits of the Body Scan: Because you are bringing focused attention to your entire body one part at a time, and to the best of your ability, learning how to be with whatever you are sensing and feeling without, pushing away, or indulging by getting lost in stories, your body may give you tremendous insights into any stress, anxiety or physical pain you might be experiencing.

Practicing Mindfulness Meditation will teach you how to expand your capacity to experience and hold both pleasant and unpleasant experiences simultaneously. It will help you see and feel things directly as they are.

You will also become aware of the story, commentary or judgment that you add which begins to give your challenges or unpleasant experiences a sense of solidity. We can become very adept at continuing the saga of “My Life” by telling our friends and family “Our Story”.

This starts to solidify our challenges and make them into a monument rather than seeing them directly for what they are. By slowing down, pausing and giving some space to our challenges, we can make choices and take actions based on wise discernment instead of reacting on autopilot.

How do we change?

In this pioneering talk, Dr. Shauna Shapiro at the University of Santa Clara draws on modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom to demonstrate how mindfulness can help us make positive changes in our brains and our lives.

Go inside and listen to your body because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in

your guts, is the truth. ~~~

Miguel Ruiz

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The important message here is that which we practice grows stronger. This includes our self- judgment, lack of self-care, our distractedness, our addictive devices and behaviors and so on.

I think you'll find it inspiring and regenerate your commitment to practicing that which you want to grow stronger. Listen here.

A fun mindfulness practice is to bring one of the 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness into your life by picking one each week and notice how bringing awareness to that attitude

affects your life.

7 Attitudes of Mindfulness The practice of mindfulness is like cultivating a garden. A garden flourishes when certain conditions are present. Holding the following seven qualities in mind, reflecting upon them, cultivating them according to our best understanding--this effort will nourish, support and strengthen our practice.

Keeping these attitudes in mind is part of the training, a way of channeling our energies in the process of healing and growth. Remember too that they are interdependent. Each influences the others, and working on one, enhances them all.

1. Non-judging

Every day we judge the things, people, and events that come into our lives. We label some as “good” because they make us feel good for some reason. Others are quickly condemned as “bad” because they make us feel bad. The rest is categorized as “neutral” because we don’t think it has much relevance. These “neutral” events are kicked out of our consciousness; we hardly even recognize them. When we do, we find them boring.

Acknowledgments:

Steven H. Flowers, MFCC The Center for Mind-Body Medicine, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Venerable Henepola Gunaratana, Saki F. Santorelli, Stephen Levin, Guided Meditations Jack Kornfield

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When we make these quick judgments, we enter autopilot. We stop experiencing our lives fully and coast through our days. We get so caught up in the things we like and dislike; it is hard for us to find peace.

It is important to recognize this judging quality of mind when we practice mindfulness. The next time you find yourself thinking, “This is boring,” “This isn’t working,” or “I can’t do this,” realize that it is your mind judging the experience. You don’t have to stop the judging but recognize it and try to turn off autopilot and experience the moment. Observe the full catastrophe of life and your reactions to it.

2. Patience

Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept that sometimes things must unfold in their own time. We cultivate patience towards our minds and bodies when we practice mindfulness.

We intentionally remind ourselves that there is no need to be impatient with ourselves because we find the mind judging all the time, or because we are agitated or frightened or anxious, or because we have been practicing for a while and nothing seems to be happening. We give ourselves room to have these experiences. Why? Because we have them anyway! Why rush to a “better” one? Each moment in life is special and unique.

3. Beginner's Mind

We tend to take the ordinary for granted and fail to grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary. To see the richness of the present moment, we need to create what has been called the “beginner’s mind,” a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.

An open, “beginner’s” mind allows us to be receptive to new possibilities and prevents us from getting stuck in the rut of our own expertise, which often thinks it knows more than it does.

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The next time you see somebody who is familiar to you, ask yourself if you are seeing this person with fresh eyes, as he or she really is, or if you are only seeing the reflection of your own thoughts about this person, and your feelings as well. Try it with problems as they arise. Try it the next time you meet a friend, family member or co-worker. Are you able to see the sky, the stars, the trees, the water, and the rocks as they are right now, with a clear and uncluttered mind? Or are you only seeing them through the cloudiness of your own emotions, feelings, thoughts, and opinions?

4. Trust

In practicing mindfulness, you are practicing taking responsibility for being yourself and learning to listen to and trust your own being. The more you cultivate this trust in yourself, the easier you will find it will be to trust other people more and to see their basic goodness as well. It is far better to trust your own intuition than to look outside yourself for guidance, even if you make some “mistakes” along the way.

5. Non-striving

Almost everything we do, we do for a purpose. We have somewhere to go or an errand to run. In meditation, this can be a real hurdle. Meditation is ultimately a non-doing. There is no goal but to be who you are right now, in the moment of your meditation.

For example, if you sit down and say, “I’m going to get relaxed, or get enlightened, or become a better person,” then you have already introduced an idea into your meditation.

Instead, just be with yourself. If you are in pain, feel the pain. If you are tense, feel the tension. Feel all of the criticisms, praise, joy, and sorrow and hold it in awareness. Then let it go.

Continue allowing your mind to be blank, acknowledge the feelings and thoughts as they come up, and then let them go with your breath and allow your mind to return to peace.

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6. Acceptance

Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. If you have a headache, accept that you have a headache. Sooner or later we have to come to terms with things as they are and accept, whether it is a diagnosis of cancer or learning of someone’s death. Often, acceptance is reached only after we have gone through emotion-filled periods of denial, pain, and anger. These stages are a natural progression of acceptance, of coming to terms with things the way they are.

Instead of avoiding the truth, embrace it. Look for opportunities for growth rather than seeing only the negative and painful. Acceptance does not mean you have to like everything, or that you have to take a passive attitude toward everything and abandon your principles and values. Instead, we accept the present as it is- nothing more and nothing less. We appreciate the moment we are given and make it special and positive. The only thing we can be sure of is that this moment will change, and by focusing on being alive in the present we can practice accepting whatever it is that will emerge in the next moment.

7. Letting Be – Letting Go

When we start paying attention to our inner experience, we rapidly discover that there are certain thoughts, feelings, and situations that the mind seems to want to hold on. If they are pleasant, we try to prolong these thoughts or feelings or situations, stretch them out, and conjure them up over and over.

Similarly, there are many thoughts and feelings and experiences that we try to get rid of or prevent ourselves from having because they are unpleasant, painful, or frightening in one way or another and we want to protect ourselves from them.

In the meditation practice, we intentionally put aside the tendency to elevate some aspects of our experience and reject others. Instead, we just let our experience be what it is, and practice observing it from moment to moment. Letting go is a way of letting things be, of accepting things as they are.

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Letting go is not such a foreign experience. We do it every single night when we go to sleep. We lie down on a padded surface, with the lights out, in a quiet place, and we let go of our mind and body. If you can’t let go, you can’t go to sleep.

Most of us have experienced times when the mind just would not shut down Most of us have experienced times when the mind just would not shut down when we got into bed. This is one of the first signs of elevated stress. At these times, we may be unable to free ourselves from certain thoughts because our involvement in them is just too powerful. If we try to force ourselves to sleep, it only makes things worse. So, if you can go to sleep, you are already an expert at letting go. Now, you just need to practice applying this skill in waking situations as well.

Adapted from Jon Kabat-Zinn. Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition): Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. New York. Bantam Books, 2013.

Here are the links to my blog series on the foundations of mindfulness with my own real-life examples so that you can see how powerful it is to be aware of these attitudes in your daily life.

• Non-Judging • Patience • Beginners Mind • Trust • Non-Striving • Acceptance • Letting Go • Gratitude & Generosity

9 Foundation Principles of Mindfulness

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Spiritual

The spiritual pillar is essential and most likely the one eliminated from our lives when we are stressed out, overwhelmed and feeling like our lives are unraveling. It is so important to connect with some kind of activity or experience that lifts your spirit and transports you to a space beyond I - me - mine (my problems, my pain, my stress, my life) where time disappears, and you have a profound sense of oneness and connection with all that is. This will be deeply nourishing and will help smooth out the rough edges when the waves of life turn into a tumultuous storm.

By engaging in these activities, you are expanding your capacity to experience joy, light, beauty and peace even when your life feels challenging and stressful. It is like drinking a healing elixir from a spiritual well during times when your heart and soul feels battered.

This is a very individual experience, and you will find your own unique personal way of engaging in activities that expand your capacity to hold both the joys and challenges of life simultaneously.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes. Because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond. ~~~

Jamaluddin Rumi

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Here are a few possible examples:

• Spend time with your animals or volunteering at an animal shelter or horse rescue. • Volunteer with an organization that supports a cause that is deeply meaningful to

you. • Spend time in nature. • Get up early and watch the sunrise or go somewhere

quiet and watch the sunset. • Meditate or pray. • Play music or dance. • Create art or go to an art museum. • Go on a spiritual or meditation retreat in nature. • Read uplifting, spiritually-oriented books. • Go to a place of spiritual sustenance; church, synagogue, non-denominational

spiritual center. • What are some other ways?

Instead of spiritually bypassing painful times in our lives we can say yes and welcome whatever shows up at our door. We notice what we are feeling, then we can expand to include those things that are deeply soul fulfilling and nourishing to us. Here is a great article on Spiritual Bypassing.

Environment

In the practice of Feng Shui, we say that our environment is a mirror of our inner self and our inner self is reflected in our environment. Does your home reflect who you are now, your aspirations and who you are becoming? Or is it outdated and filled with things you no longer love, need, want or has items broken beyond repair? Do you live with things you love? That uplift you and bring you joy? Is your furniture comfortable and safe? Do the items in your home represent positive associations? Or do they remind you of painful, challenging times in your life?

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The practice of Feng Shui invites us to become conscious about our environment – which includes our choice of furniture, colors, artwork, books, clothes, accessories, plants, cookware, pets, and landscaping; which includes the items in our garage, cupboards, and closets. We have a saying:

There is nowhere to hide in Feng Shui

As a Feng Shui practitioner, I have found it essential to explain that Feng Shui is not a magic wand that we wave over your home and suddenly every dream comes true. The positive results of practicing Feng Shui will depend on how much intention, time and energy you are willing to bring into your home and your life.

Your home can be a peaceful healing sanctuary that supports every aspect of your life, including your goals, dreams, and aspirations. We use different tools in the practice of Feng Shui to enhance your home and your life.

One fascinating and fun tool we use is the Bagua Map which has nine different sections, each representing an aspect of life. It has been eye-opening to hear what my client’s challenges are – and then see that part of their home which relates to that aspect of their life.

• A painting of a woman sitting alone at a French Café looking forlornly out into the distance, hanging in the Love, Marriage and Relationship corner, which happened to be in the bedroom, of my client whose husband traveled way more than she was happy with. He was hardly ever home. We removed the painting from that area. Within months he got transferred back to a local office with no travel.

• A group of unhealthy plants in the Wealth and Prosperity area of a client, which when removed, brought her more clients and cash flow almost instantly.

• A woman who in her heart and soul wanted to be in a long-term, healthy happy relationship but had been dating a string of men with unsuccessful results; once she replaced her current furniture that she was left with from her devastating divorce, with all of the negative associations to her failed marriage, she met a man and they are now living together – and maybe by now – even married!

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Below are questions that will help define each area of the Bagua. Underneath is the Bagua Balance Wheel Life Assessment Questionnaire for you to fill out after you have read about the different areas of the Bagua. Your answers to these questions for each area of the Bagua will give you a good idea of how satisfied and fulfilled you are with each of these aspects of life.

Health and Family:

• Do you experience vibrant physical health and energy? • Do you sleep well? • Do you feel and express your emotions in a balanced,

healthy manner? • Do you have supportive, healthy relationships with

your family and friends? • Do you regularly feel joy and happiness? • Have you resolved family issues?

Wealth and Prosperity:

• Do you have an abundance of friends, health, creativity, family, fun, and hobbies? • Are you grateful for what you have? • Does money flow easily into your life? • Do you often feel blessed?

Fame and Reputation:

• Do you feel recognized in your field for the gifts, talents, and skills that you share? • Do you experience friendly, auspicious, synergistic connections frequently? • Do you feel fulfilled in your life? • Do you feel that you have a strong inner light?

Love, Marriage, and Relationships:

• If you are in a relationship do you receive, support and celebrate each other’s individual expression?

• Is your relationship fulfilling? • Do you love yourself, and take care of your physical, emotional and spiritual

needs with kindness, love, and compassion?

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• If you are single, do you have an active social life? • Are your relationships with friends, colleagues, employers, employees or clients

going well?

Creativity and Children:

• Do you encourage yourself and others to be creatively expressive? • Do you connect to the playful side of yourself very often? • If you have children, is your relationship with them happy, positive and fulfilling?

Helpful People and Travel:

• Do you have a good support system of close friends or helpers you can depend on in a crisis?

• Do you consider yourself helpful to others? • Are you generous and supportive of your time or

money to a non-profit group or organization? • Do you frequently experience synchronicity and being in the right place at the

right time or meeting the right person at the right moment? • Have you had the experience of being positively changed by a helpful person or

special place? • Do you regularly receive referrals in your business? • Are you traveling as much as you want?

Journey through Life-Career:

• Are you fulfilled by what you do or how you spend most of your time? • Are you willing to be honest and sincere and discover your deeper soul’s life

purpose? • Do you feel there is something else you would rather be doing that calls to your

heart and soul?

Knowledge and Self-Cultivation:

• Do you practice some form of stillness, meditation, introspection or contemplation?

• Are you able to assimilate and integrate new things that you learn?

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Fill out the Bagua Life Assessment Balance wheel and discover if your life’s journey is a smooth ride or a bumpy one!

Below is a Bagua Life Assessment Balance Wheel. Using a colored pen, draw a line within each quadrant indicating your satisfaction with each aspect of life. 10 being extremely satisfied and 1 being the least satisfied.

After you complete the Bagua Life Assessment Balance Wheel, you will be more aware of which areas in your life and home might need attention.

You can begin by taking small steps towards increased satisfaction in each of those areas. And with each new step forward you will be anchoring new habits and before you know it – you will be living a life that you love!

All it takes to begin is that first step – and then the universe will offer its tailwind to help propel you forward. Be sure to map your home and see if there are any correlations between challenging areas of your life and the corresponding area of your home.

Here is a past blog with the Bagua Map that you can print out with instructions on how to map your home: Mapping the Bagua

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LIFE ASSESSMENT BAGUA BALANCE WHEEL

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Here are the links to past blogs, with an article on each area of the Bagua so that you can learn more about what aspect of life each of these areas represent with ideas on enhancing each area as well as some stories from my Feng Shui practice.

Feng Shui and the 9 Areas of the Bagua: Gua’s

1. Center

2. Career & Journey Through Life

3. Knowledge & Self-Cultivation

4. Health & Family

5. Wealth, Prosperity & Fortunate Blessings

6. Fame & Reputation

7. Love, Marriage & Relationships

8. Creativity & Children

9. Helpful People & Travel

Before you start enhancing areas of your home, it is important to remember first to go through your entire home and purge and let go of clutter. A cluttered, unorganized home can increase stress if you are tripping over things, can’t find what you are looking for easily and quickly and don’t have a cleared-out space to relax and unwind.

If you do not clear clutter first, it will be like painting a new picture on top of a dirty canvas or cooking a delicious gourmet meal in a dirty pot.

Here are two past blogs that will show you step by step how to easily and efficiently clear clutter and why it is so important to your health and well-being.

How to Clear Clutter and Improve your Health Pt. 1

How to Clear Clutter and Improve your Health Pt. 2

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Setting Intentions

You have now visually seen areas of your life that you may not be entirely satisfied with. Pick one to three areas that you are inspired to work with now. Using the formula below, write out one to three intentions, how your life will be different and how you will feel bringing this intention into reality.

The most important aspect of setting an intention is asking yourself why do I want this?

The answer to this question will be your motivation and inspiration to stay committed even when it gets challenging, and you would like to quit.

After you have established why this intention is so important to you, then list out any action steps that come to mind that will support bringing this intention to fruition.

Don’t overthink this now. You can add additional action steps later.

Writing this down on paper is so important! If you just think about how you would like your life to be different, nothing will happen. Your life will stay the same. And the life you want will remain a fantasy in your head.

If you are truly committed to making changes and experiencing a life that you love, please do this writing exercise in your journal.

*If you would rather keep this simple, then write what you would like more of in your life and what you would like less of in your life. This will be insightful and give you direction and clarity about what choices and actions you will need to take to have more of what you want and less of what you don’t want!

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Example

Intention - I intend to have a regular daily formal and informal mindful meditation practice.

How I will feel? How my life will be different? - I will be more present and engaged in my life and experience more fulfillment; I will be calmer and less likely to over react; I will slow down and savor each moment; I will be a better listener; I will trust the process of life rather than trying to push to make things happen; I will be able to let go easier; I will be more effective in my health and well-being practice with my clients. Life is more fulfilling when I am present for it.

*Notice that the feeling this will give you is available to you NOW! You do not have to wait until fulfillment of this intention to feel whatever it is that you want to feel. How cool is that? This can help dissolve the “I will be happy when…………………..” syndrome.

Action Steps - I will look ahead each week and schedule my daily meditations. I will do this at least 5 days a week. This might include a sitting meditation, mindful movement or a walking meditation.

I will set a notification on my phone to check in at least 3 times a day and practice the 3-Minute Breathing Space, by remembering to connect with my breath, notice any body sensations, feelings or emotions.

Each time I transition into a new activity, will be like a silent mindful bell ringing so that I remember to be present and connected to whatever I am doing, rather than being lost in thought.

I will choose one of the nine attitudes of mindfulness to focus on each week and notice the effect it has by bringing this new awareness into my life.

Get your journal and write down one to three intentions, how your life will be different, how you will feel and then any action steps that come to mind.

Clearing Do not try to save the whole world or do

anything grandiose. Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest

of your life And wait there patiently,

Until the song that is your life Falls into your own cupped hands And you recognize and greet it.

Only then will you know how to give yourself to this world

So worthy of rescue. ~~~

By: Martha Postlewaite

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Intention #1 – Intention #2 – Intention #3

My intention is:

How will my life be different?

How will I feel?

What action steps will support this intention?

Fulfillment of your intentions can make a huge difference in your life but remember to enjoy the journey because life happens

NOW in the present moment.

After you complete writing down your intentions, take a few minutes to sit in silence. Close your eyes and visualize yourself living this new life. What are you experiencing? How has your life changed? How do you feel? See yourself taking the action steps that helped to bring these intentions to fruition.

“Tell me what it is you plan to do with this one wild and precious life?”

I love this line from Mary Oliver’s poem, from “The Summer Day.” It gives me a kick in the butt to be courageous, step out of my comfort zone and show up fully in my life. Along with permission to take action towards fulfillment of my intentions, it reminds me that every moment is precious so that when I do have intentions that I am working towards, I practice mindfulness to help me stay present and connected to the preciousness of every moment.

The Journey IS the Destination. Live fully. Play full out. Dream big, but also realistically so that you can honestly wrap your heart and soul around your intentions – so that your unconscious mind doesn’t have objections that would sabotage your success.

Life is precious. We don’t know how long we have to live this one wild and precious life, so go for it now! Keep yourself centered by practicing mindfulness and staying present in the moment.

Stay connected to the feeling that you will have from bringing your intention to life. That is the fruit you are after anyway. Eat it now – taste it – let it permeate your being. That energy is what will help magnetize your goal to you. Be sure to spend quiet time daily to “allow the song to fall into your own cupped hands.”

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Here are two fun ways to invite your subconscious mind to support your journey

Write down your intentions, how you will feel and how your life will be different in a clear, concise manner, place them in a beautiful frame and put this somewhere where you will read it every day.

Create a Vision Dream Board with images representing your intentions with photos of you enjoying your new fulfilling life.

Reading your intentions regularly, especially how you will feel and how your life will be different and seeing a visual representation of your fulfilled life through your vision board, will create synchronistic events that will attract what you need to allow these intentions to unfold in magical ways.

What in your life is calling you, When all the noise is silenced,

The meetings adjourned... The lists laid aside,

And the Wild Iris blooms By itself

In the dark forest... What still pulls on your Soul?

~~~ Rumi

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In Conclusion

I hope you have received valuable insights and clarity from reading about the 4 Pillars. These action steps will help you reduce stress and create a thriving life that you love.

If you have questions about any of the material please contact me: shivam@strategies4wellbeing.com

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Shivam Kohls www.strategies4wellbeing.com

shivam@strategies4wellbeing.com