Strengthening relationships Making a difference, differently 1971-2011 and beyond

OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 1

We promote early action in relationship support. We create resources that give people the skills and knowledge to tackle relationship issues before they become entrenched.

We help couples and families through a range of web services.

Our online learning equips frontline workers with the skills to offer timely, effective face-to-face support to families.

Everything we do is based on the latest evidence. Our research builds the knowledge base on relationships and by sharing what we know, we influence policy and the creation of services that work.

We build stronger relationships, thriving families, a more resilient society.

Good relationships keep families strong, healthy and productive. Poor relationships can damage mental health and physical wellbeing. The effects of family breakdown cost the state £42 billion per year1 and can leave children with a legacy that continues the cycle into the next generation, and the one after that. OnePlusOne exists to address these challenges.

2 Foreword by Penny Mansfield

4 Why relationships matter

6 Why we’re needed

8 Making a difference, differently

14 Our future

16 Join us

2 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 3

“ A wonderful charity, OnePlusOne, uses a lot of research evidence to develop programmes to support families.” Baroness Sherlock, House of Lords, 2011

The evidence base will always be central to what OnePlusOne does; we use that base as the springboard for developing practical solutions to the problems we identify. Working with families to understand their needs, and with professionals and policy makers, we make services more effective and efficient.

The most exciting innovation in OnePlusOne’s last decade has been our ability through digital technology to reach over 800,000 men and women directly; not just with information but with online services that offer real support 24/7. These are low cost to deliver and free to the user.

In our fifth decade, digital technology is changing the landscape again. The next generation of couples, parents and practitioners are all digital natives. For them, digital delivery of information and services will be a natural first choice. So we will design practical, accessible relationship support services for the digital age, rooted in our four decades of research.

We know that strong relationships can be ‘potent protectors’ for adults and children, acting as buffers to stress and adversity, and that the capacity to make and maintain relationships contributes to resilience.

In our next phase of exploration OnePlusOne want to probe this mysterious ‘black box’ of relationships: to investigate what strengthens relationships during common stress points such as having a baby, so families flourish rather than flounder. We will challenge the stigma around seeking relationship support when it’s first needed by creating a climate in which it’s OK to ask for help.

In this report we’ve shared some of the things OnePlusOne is doing to make a difference for families, and how we plan to do more, better, in the future. Help us make this happen.

Penny Mansfield Director

When OnePlusOne started out 40 years ago, the relational landscape was changing. Divorce was increasing and the driving question was why, and how to manage the consequences.

After four decades of academic research, the case for supporting relationships is now widely accepted. There is clear evidence that relationship problems cause profound stress for adults and children, leading to poorer parenting and worse outcomes for the whole family. And we know the high costs of family breakdown to society, the state and the wider economy.

“ Investing in relationships is investing in families, children, the employees of tomorrow. It’s fundamental to building a thriving society, a resilient economy.”

Foreword by Penny Mansfield

OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 54 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships

Up to 45% of marriages in England and Wales are expected to end in divorce; with a greater proportion of cohabiting couples breaking up3. One in three children will see their parents split up before they turn 18.

Financial strain adds additional stress: 60% of people believe in times of recession or economic trouble, relationships are more likely to break down4.

Distressed parents are distracted parents. Research shows that poor relationship quality is associated with poorer parenting. Children who see their parents split up are more likely to have poor mental health, low educational attainment, increased risk of involvement with crime or antisocial behaviour, and teenage pregnancy. Repeated breakdown of parental relationships and multiple ‘stepfamilies’ affect children the most5.

Relationship breakdown costs the state £42 billion per year6. But the costs can’t only be measured in pounds and pence. The costs to health and society are far reaching. Women are 40% more likely to enter poverty after separation7. Stress from personal relationships has a regular, notable impact on one in three employees, making them feel more distracted, less engaged and less productive at work8.

Poor relationships can lead to serious health problems and are associated with depression, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease and heart attacks. Research has shown that marital stress is associated with an almost threefold increase in coronary heart disease events9.

Why relationships matter

is how much relationship breakdown costs each UK tax payer per year.2

1971

1969

1975

Dr Jack Dominian founds the Marriage Research Centre (later to become OnePlusOne) to research the causes and impacts of relationship breakdown.

The Divorce Reform Act of 1969 makes divorce more accessible.

The Sex Discrimination Act makes it unlawful for an employer to discriminate on the basis of sex or marital status.

1979

OnePlusOne launches Who Divorces? a study of factors associated with divorce and relationship breakdown. It showed that the first five years are the key period when difficulties arise.

OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 76 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships

People don’t want to ask for help when their relationship’s first in trouble. But they do want to turn to someone. Six out of ten people would talk to their GP about emotional issues11, but most GPs and other frontline workers aren’t specifically trained to respond effectively, and rarely have the time to help.

By the time couples get professional help, it’s often too late and damage has been done. People fail to seek support early because they don’t think what’s available will be right for them. Many people – especially men – are reluctant to talk openly about problems to professionals, or anyone else. Traditional services can carry a stigma: 43% of people say they would not want anyone to know if they had seen a counsellor or therapist12.

There are effective, accessible alternatives available, yet the public and health professionals are still unaware of them.

Why we’re needed

We spearhead innovation. OnePlusOne finds innovative ways to create real and lasting improvements to family stability. We test new models for services that will make radical change, designed with families, not just for them.

We only do what works. Everything we do is based on the foundation of what we’ve learned over the last 40 years of researching relationships. We evaluate and develop the latest evidence and turn it into practical tools that really make an impact. We are always learning. We continually evaluate our services and resources to make sure they keep working.

Making a difference, differently

We’re there at the right time. Early intervention is key to what we do. Most people will experience relationship troubles at some point. Enabling couples to address problems early reduces the risk of the issue threatening the relationship. We design solutions which make help available to couples as soon as they need it, delivered in ways which are acceptable to them.

“ When things come to a head it’s then that you want help, not in two months’ time.”14

“ Services are still stigmatised and make people feel like they have failed because they are accessing the service in the first place!”13

10

1987

1984

1988

The Family Law Reform Act removed legal discrimination against children born outside of marriage, supporting greater acceptance of cohabitation and births outside of marriage.

OnePlusOne launches Marriages in Trouble to explore how and when people seek help, and why they don’t.

OnePlusOne launches The Beginning of the Rest of Your Life? examining the onset of problems during the first years of marriage.

1989

OnePlusOne is the first organisation to calculate the annual costs of relationship breakdown in England and Wales - it was £3 billion.

8 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 9

... through 24/7 ONLINE SUPPORT.

theCoupleConnection.net, OnePlusOne’s webservice for couples and parents, has had 800,000 users in the last 3 years.

69% of people say that the CoupleConnection helped improve their relationship.

44% say they believe it helped to save their relationship.

... at excellent VALUE for money.

Our training programme for SureStart workers costs just £150 per head and will reach up to 1 million of the UK’s most vulnerable families.

... through HEALTH PROFESSIONALS.

We have trained over 5,000 frontline health workers with access to over 2 million UK families.

36,000 GPs have had access to relationship support training through a bespoke online course OnePlusOne designed for the Royal College of General Practioners.

Mothers are twice as likely to discuss a relationship problem and 75% more likely to have received help post-natally from health visitors trained by OnePlusOne15.

After being trained by OnePlusOne 97% of practitioners felt more confident in their ability to support people with relationship problems16.

OnePlusOne making a difference to couples, parents and children ...

OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 1110 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships

In 2010 OnePlusOne were invited by NESTA and the Innovation Unit to explore ways of transforming services for families in the early years to be different, better and lower cost. Working with Parents 1st, a social enterprise, we designed a prototype for a relationship-based support service to meet the needs of first-time parents – a key time when couple relationships are fragile and families may need lots of help.

Street crime, vandalism and hostility place extra pressure on many families in West Basildon. We found that people from the most deprived areas were not accessing existing council-run support services, and funds were being spent on crisis intervention rather than preventing problems.

The team knew that there were existing skills within the community to address everyday issues. We designed a model where local parents trained as peer-supporters worked with families from pregnancy until their babies were three months old. Peer-supporters who families

Case study: Transforming the lives of children and communities - supporting first time parents

trust build and model positive relation-ships, helping families to be more resilient and better equipped to cope, right from the beginning.

We’re trialling this new approach in six pilot sites in England. We aim to develop hubs that are owned and run by local families. Community representatives, not the council, will decide what services are on offer, and work with professionals such as GPs and Health Visitors to ensure consistent approaches.

Early indicators suggest the model could make a radical change to local communities, and generate significant savings. It’s estimated by NESTA17 that a service in Basildon built on the prototype:

> would cost 21% less

> reach up to 35% more families

> by year 2, reduce the costs for supporting each family by 55% We equip the people families

trust with the skills to make a difference. We train health visitors, GPs, midwives, faith leaders, children’s centre staff and volunteers so that they can pick up on relationship issues and help prevent them escalating. Using our acclaimed Brief Encounters® training, practitioners gain the confidence to listen and offer effective, timely support without becoming overwhelmed. Training is offered face-to-face or through our low-cost, award-winning elearning modules.

By 2013 OnePlusOne will have trained 4000 Sure Start Children’s Centre workers, using a unique blend of online learning and practical, face-to face training. This costs just £150 per worker, and will reach up to 1 million families, some of whom are the most vulnerable in the UK.

“ What helped was knowing there was someone I could talk to about how I felt … someone to listen to me.”19

“ It reassured me that I am not there to solve the problems but to help the client work out the answers for themselves.”18

1992

OnePlusOne publishes The Relationship Revolution looking at the radical changes across Europe of couples cohabiting, marrying and breaking up. 19

91 In Marital Breakdown and the Health of the Nation OnePlusOne provides the evidence of the physical and psychological impact of relationship breakdown in the UK.

12 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 13

Both services are free to the user and available 24-hours a day, 365 days a year.

Videos, articles, online courses, self- assessment tools and an online forum promote a self-help approach, moderated by trained counsellors. The services are anonymous, and designed to work for those, such as fathers, who are reluctant to access support.

We help couples to help themselves. The evidence has shown that when people learn simple relationship skills they can head off problems and make things better on their own, lessening the need for professional help21.

In 2008-9 OnePlusOne launched two innovative web-services to equip couples and parents with the skills and knowledge they need. theCoupleConnection.net and theParentConnection.org.uk overcome the barriers of cost, accessibility and availability of relationship support.

“ The ParentConnection helps couples make informed choices about whether to stay together or split up. The ‘what the children say’ videos are so disarming that I can’t see how they won’t help separating parents really put the children first.” Jo O’Sullivan, collaborative lawyer and family mediator

“ I logon when I feel the need, read some posts and articles, and then vent my spleen through the diary. When I’ve calmed a bit I re-read what I have put on and I can somehow cut through the emotion and identify calmly what the issue is. I can then speak calmly to hubby about it because it’s clear thoughts rather than some of the rambling confusing conversations we have been having.”22

92

81

% of theCoupleConnection.net users said that using the site had allowed them to see the real reason behind a relationship problem.

% said that they were more confident in dealing with their relationship issues after using the service.

20 72 % said using the service had helped them be a better parent.

% said using it helped them manage arguments better.71

2001 OnePlusOne publishes Not in Front of

the Children, a review of over 200 international research studies of the impact of conflict on children, the first of its kind. 19

99Findings of a Randomised Control Trial of OnePlusOne’s Brief Encounters practitioner training describe it as ‘strikingly successful’. 20

08

TheCoupleConnection.net is launched by OnePlusOne, a new, low-cost, innovative online service offering relationship support for all, 24 hours a day. 20

05

The Civil Partnership Act comes into force, enabling same-sex couples to obtain legal recognition of their relationship.

OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships 1514 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships

Helping the helpers. We want to further embed relationship support in the training of professional and volunteer helpers so that families get what they need, before conflict does permanent damage. We want to continue to design local services with families that are different, more effective and lower cost.

Finding the evidence and building knowledge. We know that relationship breakdown has damaging effects, but we know less about how and why satisfying and supportive relationships can be potent buffers to stress and adversity. We want to learn more about what it is that makes the difference. We will then know how to be smarter in bringing relationship expertise directly to more people to build a more resilient society.

Happy homes, productive workplaces. We know that stress from personal relationships makes employees feel more distracted, less engaged and less productive at work. By supporting employees going through a tough time at home, employers will support their bottom line. We want to work with employers to pilot models of support in the workplace which improve employee well-being, productivity, and ultimately economic health.

Doing what we do, better. As a research-based organisation we build everything on evidence and rigorously assess the effectiveness of what we do. But we know we can do it better. We will implement a more robust impact measurement framework that demonstrates the real difference our work makes to families.

OnePlusOne’s vision is to build on what we’ve learned over the past 40 years and make it go further – by being smart with our resources, expertise and partnerships - to change the lives of families today and tomorrow.

Pioneering digital delivery. We made the move to deliver our services to couples and parents online, in response to the need for immediate, anonymous and accessible support. We want to create new solutions with the latest technology that families use every day, reaching them wherever they are.

Starting young. Children pick up how to ‘do’ relationships from parents. If their relationship is harmonious it acts as a positive model for children to learn how to get on with others. But if not, children can still learn the skills and knowledge to get on better.

We want to reach young people early, including at school, to empower them to be good at relationships and have successful personal and working lives.

Building a society where it’s OK to ask for relationship help. The biggest barrier to our work making a difference is social reluctance to seek help. We want to work with the private sector, public sector, everyone, to spread the word about the importance of early action in relationship support. We’re creating an alliance of relationship support ambassadors to help remove the stigma, and raise awareness of the different ways people can get the help that’s right for them.

Our future

23

2010

2009

OnePlusOne wins the gold award at the e-learning Awards for its innovative training course: Relationship Support: an Early Intervention.

OnePlusOne publishes When Couples Part, a review of the consequences of relationship breakdown for adults and children. 20

12

OnePlusOne celebrates its 40th year.

16 OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships

1 Relationships Foundation, 2011. The Cost of Family Breakdown Index 2011.

2 Ibid.

3 Kiernan, K., & Mensah, F. 2010. Partnership Trajectories, Parent and Child Wellbeing; Wilson, B., & Smallwood, S. 2008. The Proportion of Marriages Ending in Divorce. Population Trends, (131) 28-36.

4 Yougov, The Sunday Times survey of 2425 adults, Aug 2011,

5 Coleman, L. and Glenn, F. 2009. When Couples Part, OnePlusOne.

6 Relationships Foundation, 2011. The Cost of Family Breakdown Index 2011.

7 Coleman, L. and Glenn, F. 2009. When Couples Part, OnePlusOne.

8 Working Families & OnePlusOne, 2012. Happy Homes, Productive Workplaces: Exploring New Directions with Employers. Interim Report: Work and Relationships.

9 De Vogli, R., Chandola, T. & Marmot, M.G., 2007. Negative Aspects of Close Relationships and Heart Disease. Archives of International Medicine, 167 (18), 1,951-1,957; Orth-Gomer, K., Wamala, S.P., Horsten, M., Schenck-Gustafsson, K., Schneiderman, N. & Mittleman, M.A., 2000. Marital Stress Worsens Prognosis in Women with Coronary Heart Disease: The Stockholm Female Coronary Risk Study. Journal of American Medical Association, 284 (23), 3,008-3,014; Trief, P.M., Morin, P.C., Izquierdo, R,. Teresi, J., Starren, J., Shea S. & Weinstock, R.S., 2006. Marital quality and diabetes outcomes: The IDEATel Project. Families, Systems, & Health, Vol 24(3), Fal 2006, 318-331.

10 Walker, J., Barrett, H., Wilson, G., & Chang, Y. 2010. Understanding the Needs of Adults (Particularly Parents) Regarding Relationship Support (Vol. 2010). Newcastle, UK: Institute of Health and Society.

11 NatCen Social Research, 2009, British Social Attitudes Survey 25th Report.

12 Working Families & OnePlusOne, 2012. Happy Homes, Productive Workplaces: Exploring New Directions with Employers. Interim Report: Work and Relationships.

13 Anonymous woman, separated, quoted in Walker et.al, 2010. Relationships Matter. Published by DCSF (now DfE) as a research report DCSF-RR 233.

14 Ibid.

15 Simons J., Reynolds J & Morison L., 2001, Randomised controlled trial of training health visitors to identify and help couples with relationship problems following a birth, British Journal of General Practice 51, 793-799.

16 Corney, R., 1998, ‘Evaluation of the Brief Encounters Training Course’.

17 NESTA (n.d.) Radical Efficiency in Early Years Settings: Community Owned Services – Parents 1st and One Plus One, http://www.nesta.org.uk/library/documents/TEYVisualCaseStudyPartents1st.pdf

18 Feedback received from SureStart training participant, 2011.

19 Feedback received from mother supported by Brief Encounters trained Health Visitor.

20 Cowan, C.P., Cowan, P.A., and Barry, J. ‘Couples’ groups for parents of pre-schoolers: Ten year outcomes of a randomized trial’, Journal of Family Psychology, Vol 25 (2) April pp 240-250.

21 Gelatt, V., Adler-Baeder, F. and Seeley, J., 2010. An Interactive Web-Based Program for Stepfamilies: Development and Evaluation of Efficacy. Family Relations, 59, 572-586; Duncan, S., Steed, A. and Needham, C., 2009. A Comparison Evaluation Study of Web-Based and Traditional Marriage and Relationship Education. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 8, 162—180.

22 Coleman, L. and Houlston, C., 2011, ‘theCoupleConnection.net: Evaluation evidence from August 2008 (launch) to February 2011, OnePlusOne.

23 Digital Public, 2012, Presentation on Support and advice for parents-to-be and new parents through digital media and social networks.

24 Walker et.al, 2010. Relationships Matter. Published by DCSF (now DfE) as a research report DCSF-RR 233.

There are lots of ways that you can help us to build relationships and strengthen families.

Invest in our innovation. OnePlusOne are making a real difference for families, but investment has never been more difficult to secure. Help bring to life our ideas for innovative, effective relationship support – through digital media, in schools, in workplaces, in communities – by investing in our new projects.

Your support could come through donation, social investment, by making us your company’s charity of the year or by choosing us as a beneficiary of your fundraising event. However you would like to work with us, we can develop a partnership that will make a measurable, lasting difference.

Partner with us. OnePlusOne works in partnership with other charities, health practitioners, employers, research centres, government departments to make the greatest impact we can. We are always looking for partners to deliver good quality services to support families, from both the voluntary and commercial sectors.

Let us help you do things better. We would like to work with your company to improve your workforce’s performance; with your health centre to improve your community’s emotional health; with your volunteer team so that they work more safely and effectively with your clients. If you think OnePlusOne could add value to your work, please get in touch.

Become an ambassador for early support in relationships. Not enough people know about the importance of getting help early. To really reduce the impact of relationship breakdown in the UK, we need a culture where it’s OK to ask for help, and where the effectiveness of early action is recognised at every level.

We need the help of leading health practitioners, human resources heads, service commissioners and policy leads to speak out with us about why this matters so much, and help us embed it in frontline practice, workplaces and communities.

Please contact me, Penny Mansfield, at director@oneplusone.org.uk or 0207 553 9530 to find out moreabout our work and how you can help us.

Join us and make a real difference to family stability and wellbeing

“ The Dulverton Trust has regularly funded OnePlusOne since 1989 because the Trust strongly believes in the positive impact OnePlusOne is making for families, and is delighted to support their capacity building efforts.” Grants Director, Dulverton Trust

“ It should be OK to ask for help because life doesn’t come with a handbook and it can be hard.”24

OnePlusOne Strengthening relationships

1 Benjamin Street, London EC1M 5QG OnePlusOne.org.uk director@OnePlusOne.org.uk T: +44(0)207 553 9530 F: +44(0)0207 553 9550

Powering theCoupleConnection.net and theParentConnection.org.uk

Registered charity no. 1087994. Company no. 4133340.