Starts With F and Ends With UCK

7/30/2019 Starts With F and Ends With UCK

1/12

Starts With F And Ends With UCK

By

Hanchen Wang


2/12

Cast of Characters

John:

Woman 1:

Woman 2:

Woman 3:

Scene

On a road somewhere, in a cold place, but not in anyspecific location

Time

Sometime at night, but again, not in any specific time


3/12

ACT I

Scene 1

John is lying in the middle of the stage, curledup towards the audience, asleep. He is covered by

a large jacket of some sort. He has a bag with 3separable compartments. In the main compartment,there is the "doll", a bread roll and a marker. Ina smaller compartment, are the cranes, and anapple. In the last compartment are the ties,are empty bottles (of alcohol).

3 women pace in a circle around John, giving himjust enough space to stretch his arms, but closeenough to be imposing. They are graceful andgentle in their movement, but it is clear thattheir movements hide a hint of malice.

John wakes up grouchily, possibly hungover. As hesits up, he sees the women circling him and istaken aback.

JOHNWho are you? Are you SINISTER?!

WOMEN(Like mothers comforting a child)

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

JOHNBecause I think you are sinister. (Thinks for a while)

ARE YOU EVIL?

WOMENShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

JOHNBecause I think you are evil. (Waits for a response,but gets none) Fine. Two, wait no (counts the women),four, can play this game. (Loudly and deliberately)SHHHHHHHHHHHH.

WOMEN(They laugh/cackle softly in response)

Hehehehehehehehehe......

JOHNStop that! CREEPY! And will you stop that pacing about.Youre like annoying pigeons. (Opens the largecompartment of his bag and empties it on his jacket. Hepicks up the bread roll) Is this what you want?

(CONTINUED)


4/12

CONTINUED: 2.

WOMEN(Stops, turns towards him, and stares)

JOHN(Thinks he has figured the women out andstarts to break the bread)

WOMEN(Raises their hands slowly andominously, pointing to the doll)

JOHN(Recognizes the doll and picks it up)

WOMAN 1(Childishly, in a high pitched voice)

Youre nice! You play with us and not with the boys andyou arent mean and you dont have messy hair and youdont smell and you...

WOMAN 2(Cuts in, motherly, but worried)

You know we love you, youre our son! But we cant buythat toy for you, and besides, you wont play with it.We know you wont!

WOMAN 3(In a boyish voice)

How do you know that? You bought me that firetruck thatyou said you knew I liked. I never play with that!

WOMAN 2

That was special. It was for your birthday. See, thatshow much mommy and daddy love you. Thats why we knowwhats best for you.

WOMAN 3I dont need you to tell me what to do. Ill just goand make my own toys!

WOMAN 1Wow! You made your own toy? Thats so cool

WOMAN 2Son, I know you like playing with the toys you made.But you should stop. Look, see all these other toys webought you? Like your firetruck collection?

WOMAN 3I dont want firetrucks!

(CONTINUED)


5/12

CONTINUED: 3.

WOMAN 2Fine. Well do it the hard way. If you dont wantfiretrucks, then you also dont want dessert. For amonth! And no allowance. And youre grounded.

WOMAN 3

You cant do that!

WOMAN 2Oh yea? Dont bet on that young man.

WOMAN 3(Holding imaginary doll, talking to it)

Im putting you away for now. But Ill see you againsomeday! Pinky promise.

(Finds a spot and "hides" the doll away)

WOMAN 2Good, Im glad you came to your senses and put your

silly toy away. Thats maturity.

WOMAN 3Yes mommy.

WOMAN 2And your daddy and I think that now that you are moremature, its time to increase your allowance...

(Gets softer and starts walking in acircle again, joined by the other women.This time, the circle around John hasgotten just a little tighter then whenthey first started.)

Gabriel Faure - In Paradisum starts playing, verysoftly, barely audible

JOHN(Looks at doll)

This shouldnt be here. I put it away a long time ago.

WOMAN 1Why?

JOHNI had to put away a part of who I am.

WOMAN 2Why?

JOHNSo that I could pretend to be someone I wasnt.

(CONTINUED)


6/12

CONTINUED: 4.

WOMAN 3Why?

JOHNI had to!

WOMAN 2Why?

JOHNThere was no other choice.

WOMAN 1Why?

JOHN(Starts tearing the doll apart andfights to be heard above the women)

Because I learned to I hate who I really was.

WOMEN(Freezes in place)

Why?

JOHN(Calms down)

Because my parents only loved the firetruck boy...

WOMEN(Looks at the torn up remnants of thedoll and cackle to themselves, softly,and resumes their pacing)

Hehehehehehehehehehe...

Music fades out with the cackling.

JOHN(Lost in thought)(Suddenly, drunkenly)

I want an apple.(Reaches into the second compartment,pulls something out halfway and looks atit without pulling it out, reaches inagain and pulls out an apple. He setshis bag to his side.)

My apple. Nothing else.

WOMEN(Notices what he just did and giggles,barely suppressing actual laughter)

Hehehehehehehehehehehe...(One by one they reach the bag and stop,so that they are gathered over it. One

(CONTINUED)


7/12

CONTINUED: 5.

of them reaches in. They all watch herpull out the paper cranes. They look ateach other and giggle again.)

JOHN(Eating apple and looking at it

intently, ignoring the women)You know whats worse than finding a worm in yourapple?

WOMAN 1(Takes a white crane, holds it in frontof herself in her palms and restarts hercircular pacing. As she walks past John,she strokes his face, tenderly, with herfree hand)

Losing your friends

WOMAN 2

(Same as Woman 1, she rejoins thecircle)

Losing your family

WOMAN 3(Sets down pink crane, then same aswomen 1 and 2.)

Losing your dignity

WOMEN(They should now be walking in a prettytight circle around John)

JOHN(Deliberately ignores them, in factovercompensating)

Finding no worms in your apple. Theyre a great sourceof protein. Somethings you just gotta learn.

WOMEN(Stops pacing)

WOMAN 2(Addressing John, as if he was in acrowd)

Why should animals suffer so that we humans can have asource of proteins? Its time for the cruelty to end!

WOMAN 1(Takes pink crane and places it inJohns lap and sits next to him)

(CONTINUED)


8/12

CONTINUED: 6.

WOMAN 2These paper cranes we have folded together, bring themaroud with you as a symbol of our solidarity againstthe mindless slaughter and unethical treatment of anyliving creature!

WOMAN 3 (Typical high school bully. Crushes thecrane she has in her hand.)

Ooooooo. Look whos all high and mighty and refuses toeat meat.

WOMAN 1Cut it out! How does my dietary choice affect you?

WOMAN 3(Imitates)

"Cut it out! How does my dietary choice affect you?"Yea, you sounding all wimpy and all. That affects me.

WOMAN 1Well thats clearly your problem isnt it? Find yourown way to deal with it.

WOMAN 3Well, me and my friends, we dont care too much whenboys get all chicken and start eating seeds and grass.

WOMAN 1Quit it! Whats your problem?

WOMAN 3

You and your straw chewing ways whats my problem.

WOMAN 1Oh yea? What you gonna do about it?

WOMAN 3Beat you up like the fat old duck you are, thats what.(Grabs Woman 1s crane, throws it violently offstage,then signals off stage) Dinners ready boys. Come getat the fat old duck. Quack quack! Hahahahaha.

WOMAN 1(Huddled up. Looks at an imaginary cranethis time)

I folded this pink one with my own hands, didnt I?

WOMAN 2(Comfortingly and reassuringly)

Yes, yes you did.

(CONTINUED)


9/12

CONTINUED: 7.

WOMAN 1(Ponders it for a while)

Even though I was beaten up for the last one I folder,wasnt it?

WOMAN 3

(Smugly.)Yea, you so totally were.

WOMAN 1(Hides an imaginary crane in anothercorner and speaks, resolutely)

Well, then Ill bury this with my own hands.(Goes back to pacing around the circleand the other women join her)

May I never again see it in daylight...

Samuel Barber - Agnus Dei plays softly

JOHN(Softly, completing the sentence)

...And may I never again let myself be harm on accountof who I am. (Pauses and thinks) This doesnt quitecount as daylight does it?

WOMEN(Amused by this... so an amused laugh)

Hehehehehehehehe...

JOHNYou know...

WOMAN 1Yes?

JOHNThis crane is a fairly complex work of art

WOMAN 2Yes.

JOHNYet in the right hands...

WOMAN 3Yes?

JOHN(Unfolds the paper crane)

It becomes a perfectly plain piece of paper, pure andpluri-potent.

(CONTINUED)


10/12

CONTINUED: 8.

WOMAN 2(Sagely)

Yes.

JOHNI can fold it. (Folds it in half). Draw on it.(Searches around, picks up the marker and draws in two

sad eyebrow like slants) Play with it. (Pokes in twoholes and widens them enough so that they can be seenthrough, so the folded paper becomes like a mask)

WOMAN 3Yes.

JOHN(Holds the paper mask up to his face)

This piece of paper is how I present myself to theworld. Thats what Ive chosen to become.

(Lets the piece of paper fall andclutches his face)

WOMEN(Delighted at this revelation, startswith controlled sniggers, then breaksinto actual laughter)

Hehehehehe...Hahahahahaha...

Music changes, cross fades to NGE - Komm SusserTodd.

JOHN(With desperation)

Who are you! Are you SINISTER?

WOMEN(With motherly tenderness, and each taketheir turn to go up to him to gentlytouch him, tightening the circle aroundhim.)


JOHNBecause youve taken my life and made me empty it out.

(Takes his bag, unzips every compartmentand shakes it, so the ties and the

bottles fall out)Is this what you want?(With anger)

ARE YOU EVIL?

WOMEN(With affection, and each take theirturn to gently peck him on the foreheadand pick up a tie, then go behind him)

(CONTINUED)


11/12

CONTINUED: 9.


JOHNBecause youve taken these shattered shards of my selfand strewn them before me.

WOMAN 1

(As a peppy colleague. Holds up her tie)That shirt-tie combo is wonderful. Its so you!

JOHNI dont want you to know who I am. I dont want me toknow who I am.

WOMAN 2(As some superficial acquaintance)

Just relax. Be yourself. Youll do just fine. Peoplewill love you for who you are.

JOHN

(Tears the paper mask up throws thepaper bits into the air)

Love ME? ME? THIS? WHAT IS THERE TO LOVE?

WOMAN 1(As the mother)

Son, maybe you should take a little time off work.Maybe go out and meet some friends, find your soulmate.Its never too early to tie the knot!

(Ties a knot on the tie)

JOHNIll never find my soulmate. Ill never find my

soulmate. Ill never find my soulmate. Ive never foundmy soul.

WOMAN 2(As his boss. Ties one end of her tie tothe unknotted end of Woman 1s tie)

Im sorry, I know youve contributed a lot to thisfirm, but we have to let you go. Its just that maybeyou dont fit well into our corporate culture. Here, asa sign of our gratitude, a parting gift.

(Hands him the noose end of the tie.)

JOHN(Takes the noose and holds on to it withboth hands)

All that I was, all that I am, all that I will be, itshere. I guess it cant hurt to let myself be me, justthis once.

(Stands up for the first time and putsthe noose around his neck.)

(CONTINUED)


12/12

CONTINUED: 10.

WOMEN(As the lights fade out and the musiccomes up, we see them turn around,holding onto the noose with both hands,and pulling.)

FADE TO BLACK, FADE OUT MUSIC.

MUMFORD AND SONS - THE CAVE BEGINS TO PLAY

LIGHTS FADE BACK IN AFTER ABOUT 3 COUNTS

In darkness (or as close to it as possible), Johnleaves the stage. As the light fades back up, wesee one woman gathering up the bits and piecesfrom the floor into the centre (roughly). By thetime the song goes "I will hold on hope", theother woman should take the jacket and place itover the collected pile in the centre. Leave

opposite ends of the stage and fade out.

END.

Documents

Starts With F and Ends With UCK