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HOW EMERGING ADULTS COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR PARENTS:

PERCEIVED SPECIFIC ROLES OF MOTHERS AND FATHERS

Petr Macek*, Věra Juříčková**, & Ondřej Bouša*

*Masaryk University, Brno, Silesian University**, Opava, Czech Republic

Starting points The process of separation and striving for autonomy

of young individuals is strongly based on the negotiation with their parents. (e.g.Goosens, 2006; Beyers& Goossens,1999; Noack & Buhl, 2004; Beyers& Goossens, 2008).

Relationships with parents in the period of emerging adulthood are no longer asymmetrical as they were in childhood and adolescence. (e.g. Kins, Beyers, Soenens,Vansteenkiste, 2009; Buhl, 2007; Seiffke-Krenke, 2009; Macek, Bejček & Vaníčková, 2007).

In this sense, there is a rise in importance of direct communication and real negotiation between emerging adults and their parents.

An open and symmetrical communication between emerging adults and their parents contributes to the clarification of mutual expectations concerning autonomy and separation (Kenyon & Koerner, 2009).

The perception of parents’ relationships, including their communication strategies and patterns, is a strong predictor of behavior and communication in their children’s partner relationships (Cui, Finchman, & Pasley, 2008; Simon & Furman, 2010).

Petr

to je důležité, ta očekávání, nejen aktuální průběh, ale co od toho čekají, jak je to reprezentováno v mysli

Aims of research

1. A description of specific aspects (dimensions) of communication between emerging adults (EA) and their parents.

2. Assessment of communication with parents: Sex differences and gender stereotypes

3. Assessment of relationships to parents and between parents (functional/non-functional)

4. How specific aspects of mother’s and father’s communication can predict relationships to parents and between parents

Participants

The sample included 385 young people (162 male, 223 female) aged 18 to 25.

University students (62%) Working full-time(24%) Unemployed respondents (13%).

Measures

We start with a qualitative study (emerging adults, n = 25)

An essay about communication with their parents (introduced with these questions:

„What is beneficial for your communication with parents, what pleases and satisfies you?“ and, on the contrary:

„What slows the communication down, restricts and harms it?“)

Content and thematic analysis, 29 topics were identified, which were classified into seven groups.

Group of topics Topics

Frameworks of communication

Gender aspects of relationships with parentsChanges of relationships and communication with parents in time

Perception of parents’ mutual relationship and their communication

Influence of broader family and intergenerational transfer

Parents’ communication skills OpennessListening to othersComprehensibilityTaboo in communication

Experiential (emotional) side of communication

Emotional warmthPossibility of confessing somethingTrustPhysical contactPraiseSense of humor

Mutual respect Respect on the part of parentsSon/daughter as an equal family member Possibility of discussing problems Mutual problem-solvingRespecting privacy

Demonstration of power and parental control

Approach to conflict and its solvingConception of competences, rights, dutiesRole in problem-solving

Rituals and activities enhancing cohesion

Shared timeShared activitiesGreetingsRegular phone contactAddressing and nicknames

Future and expectations Expectations connected to communication with parents in the future

Expectations regarding the respondent’s perspective role of a parent

We compared with:

Measures developed for adolescents’ assessment of parents and for measuring the quality of family environment (Schaefer, 1965; Matějček & Říčan, 1983; Hargašová & Kollárik, 1992; Čáp & Boshek, 1994).

Results regarding the specifics of communication in the period of emerging adulthood. (Arnett, 2004; Konstam, 2007; Macek, Bejček , & Vaníčková, 2007).

Measures

Inventory of communication with parents: 43 items related to- positive communication skills and strategies,- negative communication skills and strategies - autonomy and respect in communication, - demonstration of power, - experiential /emotional expressions of communication (crying,

sadness, humor).

All items were presented separatelly for mother and father, a four-point scale (disagreement - agreement).

The assessment of quality of the relationship with mother/father/ and between mother and father. The relationship was assessed as:

- functional,- more or less neutral,- disturbed,- conflicting.

Results I – Dimensions of communication A principal axis factor analysis, varimax rotation

Father Trust and support

connected with humor

Insincerity and hurting Communication fouls

and demonstration of power

Openness and respect of individuality

Mother Trust and

understanding Insincerity and

distance Destructive and

unpleasant communication

Openness and respect

Mother’s trust is more emotional, based on perceived mutual intimacy; father’s trust is connected more to acceptation, understanding and humor.

Mother’s insincerity is connected with negative emotional atmosphere, father’s insincerity is more concrete, connected with communication fouls.

Results II: Assessment of communication with parents. Sex differences and gender stereotypes

Males Females F-test Sig. M SD M SD MANOVA 5.61a 0.000Destructive and unpleasant communication (M1) 2.05 0.59 2.02 0.58 0.10 0.749Trust and understanding (M2) 2.76 0.49 3.00 0.54 22.41 0.000Insincerity and distance (M3) 1.59 0.54 1.51 0.48 1.76 0.186Openness and mutual respect (M4)

3.06 0.57 3.04 0.63 0.05 0.826Trust and support connected with humor (F1) 2.37 0.67 2.36 0.69 0.07 0.787Insincerity and hurting (F2) 2.00 0.62 1.95 0.64 0.50 0.479Communication fouls and demonstration of power (F3) 1.76 0.75 1.73 0.74 0.05 0.816Openness and respect in a relationship (F4) 2.82 0.68 2.75 0.72 1.61 0.205


1,00

1,50

2,00

2,50

3,00

3,50

4,00

M1: Destructive

and unpleasant

M2: Trust and understanding

M3: Distance and falseness

M4: Mutual respect

F1: Trust and support

F2: Falseness and hurting

F3: Power and fouls

F4: Mutual respect and openness

Assessment of Mother Assessment of Father

Females

Males


Young women and men present very similar assessment of parents in dimensions of communication (with an exception of trust).

Mother is assessed as more trustworthy and more respecting her daughter/son than father.

Result III - The assessment of functionality

The original items regarding assessment of functionality (mother/father and between mother and father), offered four options:

- functional,- more or less neutral,- disturbed,- conflicting relationship A new dichotomic variable was formed: functional / non-

functional relationship

Results III - The assessment of functionality

Father Mother Between parents0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

Functional Non_functional

Results IV How specific aspects of mother’s and father’s communication can predict relationships to parents and between parents

Hierarchical logistic regressions were run to predict :

1. Functional relationship with mother 2. Functional relationship with father3. Functional relationship between parents

The following independent variables were included: - respondents’ sex,- mother’s communication dimensions,- father’s communication dimensions,- functional relationship of the other parent (who is not

being assessed at the time).

Mother

Mother’s communication:Which aspects

Father’s communication:Which aspects

Mother:Functional

relationhips with her

Father:Functional

relationhips with him

Mother - Father:Functional

relationhips between them

Mother -relationship

Model 1 Model 2 Model 3 Model 4B Sig Exp(B) B Sig Exp(B) B Sig Exp(B) B Sig Exp(B)

Sexa ,351 ,167 1,420 ,371 ,156 1,450 -,011 ,975 ,989 -0,013 ,971 ,987 F2: Insincerity and hurting

-,048 ,842 ,953 -,414 ,222 ,661 -,070 ,846 ,933

F1: Trust and support with humor ,521 ,026 1,683 -,648 ,077 ,523 -1,157 ,004 0,314

F3: Comm. Fouls and demonstration of power

-,149 ,470 ,862 -,317 ,275 ,728 -,071 ,818 ,932

F4: Openness and respect ,120 ,550 1,127 ,216 ,449 1,241 ,209 ,489 1,233

M1:Destructive and unplesant -1,022 ,002 ,366 -1,189 ,001 0,305

M2: Trust and understanding 2,963 ,000 19,357 3,041 ,000 20,930

M3: Insincerity and distance -,527 ,161 ,591 -,733 ,069 ,481

M4: Openness and mutual respect

,280 ,387 1,323 ,263 ,445 1,301

Relationship with father 1,815 ,000 6,140 R. between Parents ,053 ,894 1,055Nagelkerke R2 0,008 0,065 0,512 0,564-2LL 381,298 367,677 236,894 242,179corr.predict 76,8% 77,1% 85,6% 85,3%Hosmer-Lemeshow 10,707 df 8; sig. ,219 9,627 df 8; sig. 0,292 14,292 df 8; sig. 0,074

Mother: predictors of functional relationhips with her

Mother: Destructive and unplesant (negatively)Trust and understanding

Father: Trust and support with humor (negatively)

Mother:Functional


Father:Functional




Functionality of the relationship to mother Mother’s trust is basic, however, if

relationship with mother is damaged, the importance of father’s trust rises – it is likely to fulfill a certain compensatory role here.

It is also up to the overall (functional) relationship with father and it is not so much dependent on the relationships between parents.

Father



Mother:Functional


Father:Functional




Father - relationship


sexa -,101 ,644 ,904 -,177 ,440 ,838 -,290 ,342 ,748 -,176 ,608 ,838M1Destructive and unplesant -,090 ,673 ,914 ,120 ,683 1,128 ,572 ,096 1,771

M2:Trust and understanding ,224 ,380 1,251 ,058 ,887 1,060 -,975 ,057 ,377

M3: Insincerity and distance -,280 ,270 ,756 ,758 ,052 2,135 1,269 ,004 3,559

M4: Openness and mutual respect

-,057 ,786 1,059 -,150 ,626 ,860 -,055 ,879 ,947

F1: Insincerity and hurting -1,300 ,000 ,272 -1,367 ,000 ,255

F2: Trust and support with humor

1,980 ,000 7,246 2,510 ,000 12,306

F3: Comm. fouls and demonstration of power

-1,161 ,000 ,313 -1,039 ,003 0,354

F4: Openness and respect ,318 ,239 1,375 ,077 ,809 1,080

Relationships with mother 2,064 ,000 7,874

Relationships between parents 1,890 ,000 6,619

Nagelkerke R2 0,001 0,024 0,558 0,668

-2LL 486,867 481,801 296,081 242,179

corr.predict 55,1% 57,6% 80,8% 85,6%

Hosmer-Lemeshow 6,797; df 8; sig. ,559 12,718 df 8; sig. 0,122 11,613 df 8; sig. 0,169

Father: predictors of functional relationhips with him

Mother: : Insincerity and distance

Father:Insincerity and hurting (negat.)Trust with humorCom. fouls and demonstration of power (neg.)

Mother:Functional


Father:Functional




The functionality of the relationship with father

It is important for the relationship to father to be alright in communication with him.

Also, the relationship between parents is important to be perceived in a positive way.

It depends also on the relationship with mother and on an intimate communication with mother. Sincerity on the part of mother plays a specific role here – if absent, it makes the functionality of the relationship to father more likely stronger.

The functionality of the relationship with father appears to depend, to a certain degree, also on the relationship with mother and on an intimate communication with mother. Sincerity on the part of mother plays a specific role here – if absent, it makes the functionality of the relationship to father more likely stronger. Nevertheless, at the same time it is important for the relationship to mother to be alright in other respects and for the relationship between parents to be perceived in a positive way.

Mother – Father relationship



MotherFunctional relationhips

with her:

Father:Functional



relationhips

Mother – Father relationship


Sexa -,244 ,277 ,783 -,259 ,314 ,772 -,397 ,143 ,672 -,390 ,179 ,677 F:Insincerity and hurting -,466 ,053 ,628 -,438 ,080 ,645 -,148 ,571 ,862

F:Trust and support with humor

,592 ,010 1,808 ,376 ,154 1,456 -,122 ,679 ,886

F:Comm. Fouls and demonstration of power

-,690 ,001 ,501 -,748 ,001 ,473 -,549 ,024 ,577

F:Openness and respect ,609 ,003 1,838 ,786 ,001 2,194 ,783 ,001 2,189

M: Destructive and unplesant -,300 ,252 ,741 -,320 ,255 ,726

M: Trust and understanding

,645 ,071 1,906 ,596 ,128 1,814

M:Insincerity and distance -,031 ,922 ,969 -,147 ,666 ,863

M:Openness and mutual respect

-,388 ,146 ,678 -,438 ,121 ,645

Relationship with father 1,685 ,000 5,391

Relationship with mother ,349 ,367 1,418

Nagelkerke R2 0,005 0,308 0,332 0,421

-2LL 468,454 378,732 370,816 338,835

corr.predict 62,1% 72,3% 72,3% 76,8%

Hosmer-Lemeshow 9,770 df 8; sig. ,282 5,432 df 8; sig. 0,711 4,441 df 8; sig. 0,815

Mother – Father: Predictors of functional relationship

Mother’s communication

Father’s communication: Comm. fouls and demonstr. of power (neg.)Openness and respect

MotherFunctional relationhips

with her:

Father:Functional



relationhips

Mother – Father: Predictors of functional relationship

When assessing the partner relationship between parents, the specific role of father/partner becomes evident.

It depends mainly on his behavior whether the relationship between parents is assessed as functional or dysfunctional.

Petr

Conclusion The functionality of relationships to parents

is seen as an important factor. As our results show, family is a complex system and each parent’s functionality depends on a certain balance of communication and quality of mutual relationships.

Trust, sincerity, and mutual respect are the basic stones for symetrical communication

Emerging adult balances his/her boat on the opened sea of his/her independent life.

In regard to positive development of autonomy, mother represents a safe home port, father a good wind to sails.

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