Some Duties Required of Christians Parents to Their Children

8/12/2019 Some Duties Required of Christians Parents to Their Children

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*All Scriptural quotations are taken from the King James Bible (KJV)

Some duties required of Christians parents to their children

In todays society where knowledge and activities have increased exponentially

compared to two decades age, or even just a decade ago, answers are sought for in almost everysubject, and how parents should bring up their children is of no exception. The advance in

technology and changes to the values of societies globally has also led to an increase in problems

in many societies. For example, while the advent of the Internet has not only made the access to

useful information more easily; it has also exposed children to many dangers. In this article, I

present the biblical approach: using the Bible alone, for advice to parenting.

The Bible, whose Author is God, comprises 66 books spanning about 1500 years. It was

completed about 2000 years ago. It is also referred to as the word of God. Are its teachings

outdated, or even only relevant to some cultures? I disagree with Bible skeptics. I will

confidently affirm that the teachings of this old Book which have stood the test of time in everycentury, is still ever pertinent to every society today. It is man who needs Gods help to his

problems, and God does not need any puny mans help! The Bible says: Add thou not unto his

words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar. (Proverbs 30:6). Not surprisingly, I have

read about, heard of, and even encountered in my personal experience of parenting guruswho

are unable to deal effectively with their own problematic children! Yet, we see parents, even

Christian parents, consulting these gurus foradvice, ignorant that the Bible addresses every

delinquent problem that has been identified. It is true that the Bible does not tell us what

medicine to give to a child who has a fever, however, it deals with more than sufficiently

problems which concern the moral character of humans. How unfortunate is it for those who

value the advice of fallible man over the wisdom of Gods word! Parents who say they areChristians must thus base the manner of their childrens upbringing on the Bible when it

concerns the moral development of their children.

What is the age of a child, by the Bibles definition? There is no specific age, but

Proverbs 20:11 saysEven a child is known by his doings, whether his work bepure, and

whether it beright. Research has shown that evenbabies are aware of the use of psychology to

manipulate their parents, to demand their parents to give in to their wants!

What duties do Christianparents have a duty towards their children? Lets examine some

portions in the Old Testament:

i) Deuteronomy 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalttalk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and

when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.


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The Israelites were the only people on earth who possessed the laws of God

(summarized in the 10 commandments in Exodus 20). They were to be the witnesses

of God as a nation, whose families obeyed Gods commandments. While other

nations parents taught their children other moral instructions, Israels parents had a

duty to teach their children about the standard of discipline laid down in the

Scriptures.

ii) Exodus 20:4-6 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness ofany thingthat isin heaven above, or that isin the earth beneath, or that isin the water

under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the

LORD thy God ama jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the

children unto the third and fourthgenerationof them that hate me; And shewing

mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

This is the second of the ten commandments. Israel was warned not to worship othergods that could be seen or touched. The penalty for disobedience was suffering the

curse of God extending even to their grandchildren and great grandchildren. On the

other hand, obedience would result in Gods blessings in the case of Israel as a

nation, material and spiritual.

iii) Genesis 17:9-10 And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenanttherefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations. This ismy covenant,

which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child

among you shall be circumcised v14 And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh

of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hathbroken my covenant.

A male child was circumcised when he was eight days old. Circumcision is an

outward sign of putting away the sins of the flesh. Circumcision is no longer

practiced in the New Testament, but the principle is evidentthe circumcision of the

heart, which is the real significance. Colossians 2:11 In whom also ye are

circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, in putting off the body of the

sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ: The act of circumcision does not give

salvation. It is the inward circumcision that saves. However, should children be given

a choice whether to be taught about the Bible? No. Instead, Christian parents have a

duty before God to teach their children the word of God.

iv) Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he willnot depart from it.


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Bible training begins when the child is still a child! Some parents may say that there

is no guarantee that their child would be godly when they grow up. I put to these

parents: have they done theirbest in training their children to obey Gods word? If

they have honestly done so, they have then vindicated themselves of any negligence.

However, many honest parents will have to admit that they failed in their duty! Most

of time, it is because they have not put in effort and invested their free time to study

their Bibles and draw out important lessons to teach their children. They leave their

Bibles to collect dust, have them in their computers and mobile phoneseverywhere

except their heads and hearts. At best, many Christian parents I have encountered

only pick fragments from different parts of the Bible in their learning, without

bothering to go in-depth. When they fail in their attempts to discipline their wayward

children, who is to blame? God is perfect, and the Bible is without mistakes. It is

humans who give excuses for their lack of knowledge of Gods word. Any discipline

procedure carried out on any child has to be done according to Gods instructions,

and not the whims and fancies of the parents! This leads us to the next portion.

v) Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for ifthou beatest himwith the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his

soul from hell.

Here is where we get the oft-repeated proverb, spare the rod, spoil the child. The

Bible clearly indicates here the use of the rod. In our context today, the closest

example is the cane. A Christian parent must thus use a cane to mete out

punishments, and not by smacking with the hand or a belt! Hell is real place of

torment, for sinners who have not repented of their sins. Caning itself of coursecannot give salvation to any child. Every child has to make the personal decision to

believe in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour, and walk in obedience to Gods

commandments.

We shall now examine the teachings in the New Testament:

i) 2 Timothy 3:14-15 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hastbeen assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou

hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation

through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

Timothy was a young pastor. From a child, he had been taught the Scriptures (during

that time, the Old Testament). Even though God is the Author of the Bible, the Bible

is not a book so mysterious that one has to possess special knowledge or needs to be

very intellectual to understand. God does not want to confuse us, but expects us to

play our part to accumulate knowledge of His word. I believe that every Christian


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parent is given the gift of teaching ones children Gods word. They must use it

zealously and consistently. The best way to make an impact though, would be parents

who live out what they teach. Children must be strongly urged to obey in word,

thought and deed so they can be spiritually rich.

ii) 1 Timothy 4:12-13 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of thebelievers, in word, in conversation [behavior], in charity [love], in spirit, in faith, in

purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.

The context of this exhortation to Timothy was Paul treating Timothy as his spiritual

son. Timothy could have been at this time over thirty years of age. Nevertheless, in

the aged apostle Pauls eyes, Timothy was still youthful, especially as a Christian.

Nonetheless, Timothy was challenged to be a spiritually mature Christian, inwardly

and outwardly. The process of developing the above listed characteristics of a mature

Christian would include reading (most likely sound Christian literature), teachingothers Gods word and obeying sound doctrine (which is mentioned next).

iii) Titus 2:1-8 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the agedmen be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged

women likewise, that they bein behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers,

not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young

women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To bediscreet,

chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God

be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things

shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrineshewinguncorruptness, gravity,sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part

may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

The epistle of Titus was also written by the apostle Paul. Perhaps, Paul was exhorting

the aged men and women to treat the younger brethren as their spiritual sons and

daughters. Christian parents should teach their young daughters to be discreet,

chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, so that the word of

God be not blasphemed. Having much head knowledge is very important and the

first step to success, but the purpose is defeated if ones practices are contrary to

ones knowledge. Resources today are dedicated to sexuality education, in the hope

that unwanted pregnancies and that the number of STDs among young women would

be reduced. This approach has unfortunately been quite futile. In contrast, young

women who are taught to obey the word of God would doubtless deal most

effectively with these problems present day societies face. Young men are instructed

to be sincere, and that no any major accusation can be found against them. One


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survey among US employees found that about 42% of time, work is slowed down or

delayed because of poor interpersonal relations. The word of God gives the simple,

yet most effective solutionsound speech! Do not be astonished that even self-

proclaimed experts at solving interpersonal problems receive complains that they

themselves have very poor EQ!

iv) Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honourthy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may

be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke

not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the

Lord.

Children must be taught to honour their parents, but, IN THE LORDand not blind

obedience. The writer of Ephesians under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit quoted the

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commandment (see Exodus 20:12) to be obeyed by Christians in the NewTestament period. The promise of long life must not be misconstrued to conclude that

Christians who die at a young age live a life of dishonoring their parents. Sometimes,

God has higher plans for some individuals, as in the case of John the Baptist, who

was beheaded at a young age for uncompromisingly preaching the true messages of

God. As a general rule, however, children who obey their parents are at less risks of

becoming a victim of AIDS, dying of drug abuse, getting killed or injured in gang

fights etc.this is most likely how the promise of long life may be explained. And in

order for parents to effectively impart the teaching of the 5th

commandment to their

children, fathers (who are to be the heads of the respective houses) are instructed not

to provoke their children to wrath (=anger), but to help their children to become self-disciplined in obeying Gods instructions. Colossians 3:21 elaborates this aspect of

parental duty by instructing: Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they

be discouraged. Child correction must have the correct objective to help children

grow spiritually and not to become discouraged as a result!

The above examples from the Old and New Testaments are merely the tip of the iceberg

of the parental responsibilities of every Christian parent. The New Testament does not contradict

the Old, rather it provides a commentary to help the student of Gods word have a clearer

meaning of the Old Testament.

Next, I will share some points I have adapted from a message preached by the late

Fundamental Baptist preacher J. B. Buffington (1923-2009) at Calvary Baptist Church,

Lakeland, Florida, in the late 1970s. The message is:How to lose a child before he is five years

old. This is adapted from a book I strongly recommend for parents,Keeping the Kids: How to

Keep Our Children from Falling Prey to the Worldby David Cloud. Personally, I find that these

points are also applicable to parents of teenagers.


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1) Use worldly counsel instead of Gods word about raising children1 John 2:15-17 says Love not the world, neither the things that arein the world. If

any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that isin the

world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the

Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he

that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

The philosophy of the world would cater well to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the

eyes and the pride of life. The signs of our present time indicate very clearly that the

second coming of Jesus Christ to judge the world of its unrepentant sinners is very

soon (see Matthew 24 for some signs). The present generation is characterized by

high-consumerism, an insatiable thirst for health, wealth and pleasure, to name a few.

As foretold in 2 Timothy 3:4-7, there would be those who outwardly present

themselves as Christians, by having a form of godliness, but denying the power

thereof. Those who study the Scriptures diligently will not be astonished to findchurches attracting huge followings by preaching gospels that bring in the philosophy

of the world (under the guise of the term gospel), rather than reproving them and

preaching the true gospel, which require self-denial, crucifying the flesh and the lusts

of it (Galatians 5:24). The pleasures of sin by feeding ones lusts tastes sweet for a

short time, but would ultimately result in judgment and hell fire. Gods word calls for

separation from worldly counsel! I am privileged to have been brought up in a Bible

Presbyterian (BP) church. The BPs since its inception in 1937 have been very militant

in exposing false doctrines and false teachers, and have been very uncompromising in

warning others. Many churches which were once earnestly contending for the faith

are no longer grounding its members as much as before in Gods word. There areadults, who have been in church for more than 20 years, shockingly have not even

read through the Bible cover to cover once, and are unaware of some books in it. This

is no different from what happened in the days of Hosea 8:12 I have written to him

the great things of my law, butthey were counted as a strange thing. Such parents

are willing to spend much time and money to develop many facets of their children,

except teaching their children spiritual truths well, which implies them saying their

own wisdom is above the wisdom of God. I thank God for helping me to appreciate

more and more of the value of His word, like the Psalmist in Psalms 119:72 The

law of thy mouth isbetter unto me than thousands of gold and silver.

2) Compare one child unfavorably with anotherWhy cant yoube as smart/well-behaved as that boy/girl? If the other kid is an A

student, child may say to himself If Im not going to be like him, Im going to be a

failure. The 10th

commandment states that Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's

house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his


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maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that isthy neighbour's.(Exodus

20:17)While other commandments like not stealing, not killing, not telling lies can

be shown in ones outward observance, the 10th

commandment deals directly with the

hearts condition. 1 Timothy 6:6 gives the antidote to this sin: But godliness with

contentment is great gain. (Where a commandment forbids an action, the opposite is

expected).

3) Husband and wives fight verbally/physically in front of their childrenChildren tend to imitate the behaviours of parents. If the parents use violence as a first

resort to settle problems, there is a very high chance their children will develop such

tendencies. The ideal family would be the husband and wife playing their respective

God-given roles.

4) Allow unsupervised viewing of TV, cartoons, computer gamesThe world is fraught with spiritual dangers. We must be always alert to every form ofit. The only defense would be testing everything against Scripture. Even cartoons and

computer games are not as innocuous as once thought. There are cartoons and

computer games which have graphics of girls dressing immodestly and are passed off

by cartoonists and game developers as innocent, when it is actually a form of

pornography, derived from the word fornication which the Bible condemns.

Research has shown that children could also develop violent tendencies upon being

exposed after some time to TV shows that seem to glamorize people performing

violent acts. Above all, those who play computer games are exposed to the hazard of

becoming addicted to them. There have been cases of students becoming so addicted

to the extent they skip their meals, do not bother to take a shower, neglect theirhomework and their part of their projects, and become increasingly anti-social in their

behavior. I have even been informed that one gamer played until he developed a deep

vein thrombosis that entered his heart and he died. From a biblical perspective, I have

learnt to see that Satan is so cunning when tempting humans. He would not tempt a

church goer with a metal or wooden statue. Rather, he uses computer games to tempt

youths to worship their favourite computer games at the expense of doing profitable

spiritual activities like studying and meditating on Godsword, reading good

Christian literature, praying, helping out in household chores, putting in effort in

ones studies etc. which are means of grace to grow as a Christian.

Finally, I am convinced that parents can maximize the development of their childs

spiritual growth is by teaching them how to study the Bible for themselves. One key to obtaining

the one correct interpretation of a verse would be looking at the verses and chapters before and

after. Additionally, parents should provide sound Christian literature which they have screened

through to facilitate their childrens learning. Of course, any material read should be seen as a

useful tool, but nothing should replace the Bible itself.

Documents

Some Duties Required of Christians Parents to Their Children