Socially Interwoven Violence

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Jaime Bellemare

WSP Section 3

November 20, 2008

Socially Interwoven Violence

As a society we look at violence in black and white, but violence is not so easily

categorized. Most people know the main types of violence: physical, emotional, sexualyet our

society has learned to ignore the types of violence that affect our every day lives. Violence

comes in many different forms, and almost every individual is sure to experience some type of

violence in their life. As a society we have come to accept a culture of violence, but in many

ways we are completely oblivious to our exposure. This ignorance makes our culture even more

susceptible to acts of violence.

Some aspects of violence are evident and well known. Physical violence may be the

most recognizable type of violence, but there are many types of physical violence that escape

under the radar. As a society, our minds are molded to see only what we want to see and the

media plays a large role in this. Music videos have been at times criticized for the degradation of

women, but we have continued to watch and support the videos that show women as objects and

servants to men. In the documentaryDreamworlds 3 it is easy to see how the actions of music

videos transfer over to the real world. These music videos show the image of male entitlement

and power as women dance in cages, wait on beds, are fondled, sprayed with alcohol, and used

for nothing more but male empowering. As we witness these videos, male domination becomes

normalized and accepted in the world in which we live. In the eyes of the media, this is a selling

mechanism, not violence, and so we come to accept these videos, however, as the film shows,

the actions of these music videos very closely parallel violence in real life. As seen at the Puerto

Rican Pride Parade in Central Park womens clothing is torn, bodies are groped, and dignity is


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taken away almost mirroring the music videos shown on television. The only major difference is

that women in the real world do not enjoy such behavior. It is hard to deny how the culture of

these music videos is imitated in real life, not only with actions, but also with speech. In songs it

is very common for women to be referred to as sluts and bitches, yet listeners have no problem

with this, in fact, they repeat it. In my own life I constantly hear women my own age being

called these names not only by men, but by women, and more freighting by those they call

friends. These names have become acceptable because media and in particular, music videos,

have normalized this type of behavior, however, their meaning remains the same. By repeating

and accepting these names we are allowing violence to become a part of our culture.

As a society we need to obtain higher levels of education regarding violence. Many

people believe that their lives are not affected by violence; however, this opinion may change if

individuals learn how our society has come to be a source of violence within itself. False norms

have been created by what we as a society see in the media, but more often than not, individuals

do not fit this norm. One particular way that social violence affects me personally as well as

many others is through body image. Advertisements, television, and many other highly visible

sources use women to draw attention and sell products. These women may be used to present

material objects, but what is really being sold is a singular definition of beauty. I am one of the

millions who struggle with body image, seeing myself as undesirable because I am unable to

attain this particular standard of beauty. I have spent countless hours running on treadmills and

going hungry just to see those numbers drop, but is this for myself, or for others? In the essay

Carnal Acts Nancy Mair discusses how this social violence affects her life as she lives with

MS. Mairs talks about suffering from the shame of falling short of an unattainable standard.

(Carnal Acts, pg. 281) Mair, like many others, does not fit into this singular definition of beauty


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and so she and millions of women are left feeling inadequate. Our society has praised those who

fit the idea of beauty which we see plastered in front of us, but at the same time we have failed

to recognize the negative affects these ideals have on the individuals within the world. In the

essay Body Politic by Abra Fortune Chernik the frightening results of this particular false

normalcy are shown through Cherniks struggle with anorexia. The most revealing part of

Cherniks essay, however, is not within her struggle, but within the praise of her small, fragile,

and ill body. Only ten percent body fat! Unbelievably healthy. The average for a woman your

age is twenty-five percent. Fantastic! Youre this weeks blue ribbon winner. (The Body

Politic, Abra Fortune Chernik, pg. 293) At five nine and ninety-nine pounds, Chernik was

praised for her body, yet in reality she was dying. This noticeably shows the affect of media on

societys perception of what is healthy or beautiful.

Social norms create violence in more ways than just body image. It is widely thought

that violence against women is solely committed by men. Although this is not true, this idea of

men being violent actually relates to one of the causes of violence. In the essay Men Changing

Men by Robert L. Allen and Paul Kivel, Allen and Kivel talk about what they callthe be a

man box. In this box lie the adjectives strong, tough, unemotional, and aggressive, etc. When a

man does not fit into this box he becomes an easy target and if often told to be a man. This

idea of what makes a man drives aggression often resulting in violence. As Allen and Kivel say,

Young peoples definitions of femininity and masculinity often reflect rigid expectation of what

they must live up to in order to be a real woman or man. (pg. 338) Just as men are told to be

strong, women are told to be passive. This alone is a type of social violence keeping individuals

from being who they are because there is a fear of being labeled not normal. As a woman if I

say I am a feminist, I am asked if I hate men. As a woman I am told not to be a bitch anytime I


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disagree with popular opinion. As a woman I am told to be submissive and feminine. What is

feminine? Just as many men do not fit in the box, women often dont fit the idea of

femininity. These false normalcies not only affect how others perceive us, but also how we

perceive ourselves resulting in adding fuel to our culture of violence.

It is easy to criticize our society for what we are doing wrong; the hard part is developing

a solution. I think that the first step to ending violence against women is education. Since taking

Womens Studies my eyes have been opened to a whole new definition of what violence is. If

more women and men were able to access this type of information in an easier fashion, I believe

that the recognition of how violence is embedded into our society would grow, hopefully

lowering the rates of violence in our lives. Another way our society can transform violence is by

having more resources for those who experience such behaviors. There are currently more

shelters for animals than for women. A great step towards protecting those who experience

violence in their lives would be to have more shelters for the abused, but even more so I believe

that it is crucial police and other authoritative figures have proper training in dealing with such

circumstances. As discussed in Defending Our Lives women who experience violence often

reach out for help and are told that there is nothing that can be done. When these women need to

take action in order to stay safe, however, they often serve higher penalties than even the most

notorious criminals. There needs to be an alternative in order to preserve public safety so that

victims of violence will not have to result to such defense mechanisms.

It is difficult to dispute that our culture has been increasingly intertwined and influenced

by violence. Violence can be interpreted in many ways but it is important to see false normalcies

as violence in order to resist them. As a society we need to dispute the norm, as well as secure

the safety of the public in order to rid our culture of its integration with violence.


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Socially Interwoven Violence