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52 ACCIDENTAL BRANDING

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the actor Jason Alexander, is talking to his doctor about having his

gallbladder removed. Although Newmark is having the surgery for

the usual reason (gallstones), he has also been enrolled into a clinicaltrial. Craig apparently has a unique constitution that allows him to

tolerate the vitamin niacin, and he’s been taking supplements. The

study is to determine how niacin causes low levels of cholesterol to be

expressed by the liver, and the medical team will take a biopsy from

Craig when the doctor removes his gall bladder. Craig has come to

UCSF on this sunny spring morning for his final presurgical visit.

And brought me. I spend the better part of an hour watching stick

figures run around a track from what might be the best view of any

doctors’ waiting room in the country. Then Craig emerges and we

leave the office. Almost immediately, we run into Craig’s doctor in the

elevator. We walk outside, Craig introduces me, and the doctor takesthe opportunity to explain his research work to us. The doctor tries

to clarify the point of his research, and Craig seems to understand

him, but he is speaking in technical language; like Charlie Brown in

the Peanuts cartoons, all I hear is “Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.” As our

paths diverge, Craig thanks the doctor and puts his hand out to shake.

The .doctor fumbles with his clipboard, and f suddenly realize he has

a handful of test tubes in his right hand that are preventing him from

shaking Craig’s hand. The test tubes are full of blood. Craig’s blood.

It’s not the way I expected the morning to go.

On the other hand, 1 am a world ahead of where I started out

with Craig. Flash back two hours earlier: 1arrive on his doorstep at

8:30 A.M. to be greeted with a gruff, “Who’s there?” When I identify

myself, Craig does not seem to recognize me. After I hand him a copy

of our e-mail correspondence, he tells me that we have canceled this

meeting. 1 realize that he may be correct. A few days earlier he hud

informed me he would be in New York in two weeks’ time and asked if