Relationships I Health I Nature I Culture I Learning I ActivitiesParent Circle

Parent CircleVolume 1 Issue 5 September 2011 Price ` 40

The house of your dreams. It takes shape. Brick by brick, layered with cement - in between.

To create a bond, as strong as the bonds of love, That strengthen with time. Love binds families and strengthens hearts.

Ramco. A strength for your home. A dream that'll last - forever!

Madras Cements Ltd. Corporate Office: 'Auras Corporate Centre', V Floor, 98 - A, Dr. Radhakrishnan Road, Mylapore, Chennai - 600 004. India. Tel: 91 - 44 - 2847 8666 Fax: 91 - 44 - 2847 8676

Like relationships,it strengthens with time!

For the Parent in You!

RNI NO. TNENG/2011/38388

www.parentcircle.in 1

Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.

PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Nalina Ramalakshmi

MANAGING EDITOR Nitya Varadarajan

SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESK Shashwathi Sandeep

CONTENT COORDINATOR Asita Haq

To advertise in this magazine call 044 24461066/67/68 or email advertise@parentcircle.in

PUBLISHED BY Nalina Ramalakshmi Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. (A Ramco Group Associate) 8/14, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020

PRINTED BY R Dhayalan, Sun Graphics, 51, Gangai Amman Koil Street, Vadapalani, Chennai 600026

CREATIVE HEAD Rangashree Srinivas

VISUALISER G Swarupa

GRAPHIC DESIGNER M Ravisankar

PRODUCTION CONSULTANT Poochi Venkat

ADMINISTRATION Sheeja Sasindran

HEAD - OPERATIONS Neeta Kamath

ADVERTISING General Manager S Visalam Assistant Manager G Suresh Kumar

CIRCULATION C Ganesh S Thirumalai

SUBSCRIPTION Dolly Preethi Martina M

E very year, my children’s school in the US set aside a special Grandparents Day. Grandparents were invited to visit the school and spend half a day, visiting the classrooms and doing activities with the children. Later they were entertained with a special show performed by the children for

them. I had the privilege of organising these events and it was always such a joy to see the excitement on the faces of both the children and the grandparents, as the children proudly showed off their classrooms, their work, their friends and their teachers. It was very moving to watch the joyful interactions between the children and their doting grandparents.

I too, have very fond memories of my own grandmothers. I remember playing ‘Dhaayam’ and ‘Omali Gunta’ (traditional board games) with my paternal grandmother and listening to her stories. When we were away in school she would collect ‘Binaca charms’ (small plastic animals) for us. I still have these charms, which I treasure very much. My maternal grandmother was a source of strength for the whole family. Whenever I was frustrated and upset with my parents, I would run to her, seeking comfort and solace. I miss them both very much.

This issue is dedicated to Grandparents everywhere, in celebration of Grandparents Day on September 11th. Read our cover story ‘A Tribute to Grandparents’ to see what roles today’s grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren.

September 5th is Teacher’s Day. In our feature ‘The Teacher as the Guru’, we examine the evolution of the teacher’s role in the education of the child, from the days of the Gurukulam to what it is today.

September is the beginning of our festival season, starting with Vinayakar Chathurthi on September 1st. Our special feature on ‘The Changing Face of Traditions’, talks about the various traditions that have evolved in different cultures as part of festival celebrations. We also discuss the importance of evolving your own family traditions, be it a family game night every Friday evening or a trip to Grandma’s every Deepavali.

I like to leave you to explore this issue with a tribute to grandparents everywhere:

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~ Alex Haley

Nalina Ramalakshmi

For the Parent in youTo know, to understand, to connect

Find us on

editorial

Parent Circle / September 20112

A few Chennai grandparents and grandchildrenP.30

IN FOCUS

ROOTS Navaratri Celebrations Across India

MINDSET Myths About Discipline

HEALTH CIRCLE Tackling Respiratory Infections in Children

FEATURE The Teacher as the Guru

LEARNING Math: Go from Nay to Yay!

VALUES Adopting the Right Attitude Towards Food

TEEN CIRCLE Tackling Substance Abuse in Teens

DESTINATIONS A Kaleidoscopic View of Kanyakumari

REGULARS

6

18

20

22

32

40

42

44

48

ON THE COVER MEGHA CHINNAPPA AND HER GRANDMOTHER MUTHAMMA PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA

A Tribute to Grandparents

COVER STORY

SPECIAL

The Changing Face of Traditions

P.12

P.24

RESOURCES

FORUM

PARENT CHEF Grandma’s Recipes

CHECK IT OUT Pick a Flick

HANDS ON Paper House

EVENTS Chennai this Month

YOUR WORD

PARENT EXPRESS The Need for a Sibling

VIEWPOINT The Abhimanyu Syndrome

DISCUSSION POINT Strict or Lenient Teachers?

LIGHTER VEIN Time Out

50

52

56

58

4

8

54

59

60

Parent Circle / September 20114

The magazine is very interesting. All the articles are equally good. In the latest issue, I liked the article on Tech Talk where they gave the websites which are helpful for studies. I can relate to it as I have two grown up children and this is very useful for them. I also like the recipe pages very much. S PRAVEENA, mother of two children

Each and everything about this magazine is very nice. I like the way the articles are written. We get a lot of information and tips on parenting our kids. The photographs used are also nice and bring a smile on one’s face. I also have seen the recipes page. I would love to try out all those dishes but I have not yet found the time. DR KRISHNAPRIYA, mother of two children

I have just started subscribing and have gone through just one issue of the magazine. Right from the cover to the photographs used and the articles, they are really good. The article on pre-school in the last issue was very relevant and useful for me as I have just started sending my daughter to pre-school. The page on Events is Chennai oriented. I live in Mysore and it really does not matter to me here about what is happening in Chennai. It should include other cities too. LATHA RAGHUNATH, mother of two children

In the Events section you only give the events in Chennai. What about the rest of the country? I think that you should include events in other cities so that we will be aware of what is happening in our city (Bangalore) as well. Apart from that, the other sections are pretty interesting. I particularly like the ‘Check it Out’ section; it gives so much information on the books we could make our children read. Most of the articles are really good and so are the photographs. The recipes section too is very interesting. RANJANA AJITKUMAR, mother of a 6-year-old

*Editor’s response: We really appreciate the fact that we have readers like you subscribing out of Bangalore and Mysore and giving us your valuable feedback. At the moment, we are Chennai-centric in terms of the bulk of our circulation. But we are planning to expand to other centres in the country and we will get more broad-based in our events.

Letters to the Editor

Please send in your letter with the subject line “Letters to the Editor”, before September 15, 2011, to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

your word

I am extremely happy that you have brought out a

magazine exclusively for the parents. The cover of

your August issue is beautiful.

It is the teenage children who have to be given great

importance. They are confused, as there is a

transformation going on in their mental makeup.

Parents need to act as a guiding spirit, to help them.

I am simply at a loss to pick an article which is not

outstanding. You have been able to compile

interesting and thought provoking articles.

SUDHA KASTURIRANGAN, Teacher

Wow! What a magazine! The other day when I went to

Nilgris store, I saw this magazine in the stands. I really

liked it. PARENT CIRCLE can be read by the young and

the old parents. It is an ideal magazine for parents of

school going children. I have recommended the

magazine to many of my friends. I wish the magazine

all success.

S GANESHAN

I just completed the magazine from cover to cover. I

came through the magazine while I was glancing

through the magazine shelves in Landmark. The

name PARENT CIRCLE attracted me. After going

through each and every article, I really thought that

the money spent was worthwhile and I will continue

to buy it in the future.

I have always wondered how to approach my son to

make him sing rhymes, paint etc. The article on

identifying a child’s learning style gave me the idea

that it is easy for me to approach him from his point

of view.

Regarding preschools, I am certain that I’ ll put him in

the best preschool available. I never knew that there

were so many checks to be made to find a good

school for my dear son. I am sure that the prevention

aspects of dental problems highlighted in your

Health article will be noted by parents like me who

want their children to be healthy.

RAJESWARI VEERAVEL, mother of a 2-year-old boy

Parent Circle / September 201112

Like anything else in life, even traditions are not static. Changing times are resulting in the death of some practices, or in the modifying of existing practices.

New ones evolve, or sometimes existing traditions are deeply examined and better understood!

“When I was a child, a week before Deepavali, my sister and I would divide the firecrackers between us and keep them out to dry when the sun came out,” says Shanthi Ramkumar, mother of two boys. “We had about two or three days’ leave at school. We would be so excited that we would not sleep all night before Deepavali,” she says.

Talk to any parent about traditional festivals in their childhood, and you can be sure to find a wistful smile as they recount the simplicity of life before television and the delight of having one's

extended family join in the festivities. The resplendence of firecrackers, the delight of buying a new doll for display before Navaratri or the special taste of a Christmas plum cake lingers on in one’s memory.

Where have those days gone?

Shanthi laments, “Today, festivals like Deepavali are mostly spent in front of the television. Nobody is waking up early. Children do not want to burst firecrackers. Depending on the age, they are either scared, or they think that it is not environment friendly, or a waste of money. We cannot even take the car out for fear of damage from firecrackers. The only charm left of the concept, are the new clothes. ”

Our children live in a different world than the one we so fondly remember. Perhaps our nostalgia plays a major part in the way we involve our children in festivities even

the changing

Traditions face of

Saritha Rao Rayachoti

as we try to recreate our own childhood memories of the occasion. Still, tradition is an important cornerstone in bringing the family together.

tradition and festivalsThere are so many facets to tradition, from religious ceremonies that mark the rites of passage to evolving a family tradition unique to a particular family. Celebrating festivals is only one aspect of tradition, but a very important one.

Why do people celebrate festivals?

“It is our custom handed down to us from generations before us,” says Nithya Madhavan, “we have to teach our children that this is how we follow our religious practices.”

Priya Srikanth has two daughters who are enthusiastic participants in the festival arrangements in the house. Priya says,

special

SH

UTT

ER

STO

CK

IMA

GE

S

Parent Circle / September 201124

Rangashree Srinivas

The average Indian grows up surrounded by relatives. Every family has an elderly head who is propitiated when an

important family event takes place.

Grandparents not very long ago, were also important decision makers. The dynamics have shifted significantly with the onset of nuclear families and geographical distances separating the grandparents from their children and grandchildren.

What is the role of an elder in the family today? When we look at some urban families, we find that grandparental roles vary from being primary care givers to-seldom-seen-long-distance relatives. And everything in-between!

ONE BIG FAMILYWith both parents working, the best care for children can come only from grandparents. If the grandparents are willing and fit, these parents can consider themselves blessed. Uma Maheswari, Senior Associate - HR, Ford, is very happy in her joint family set-up. Her family (husband Vinoth, two children Tharika, 4 1/2 years and Reya, 6 months old) and her brother-in-law’s family (spouse and a new-born) all live together with her parents-in-law. The grandparents J Kasturi and Jayaraman are 63 years old, enjoy good health and love children!

She says “My parents-in-law are both educated and very systematic in their habits. This ensures a clean and

a tribute to

What children need most

are the essentials that

grandparents provide in

abundance. They give

unconditional love,

kindness, patience, humour,

comfort, lessons in life.

And, most importantly,

cookies.

RUDOLPH GIULIANI

grandparents!101 year old Janaki Ammal enjoys a game of carrom with her great grandson Sharan, his mother and his grandmother.

cover story

AR

JUN

DO

GR

A

disciplined environment for my children”. Uma is out working from 7.45 a.m until 8.30 p.m. At home, she ensures that the homework is done, and that the uniforms and shoes of the children are in place. Tharika’s grandparents wake her up, bathe and feed her and get her ready for school. Her grandfather takes her by cycle to school. “She enjoys the ride and my father-in-law says that he gets his work-out! They both know the children’s likes and dislikes and ensure that they have a happy environment”.

On the flip side, there are issues like controlling the upbringing of the children. For instance, Uma has recently objected to the number of presents being showered on them. She feels that the children will take these gifts for granted and will not appreciate their value. Little Tharika for instance,says, “Daddy does not get me anything, only Chithapa (dad’s younger brother) does.”

Uma also feels that Tharika should learn to complete her home-work on her own with the elders only guiding her. If the child exhibits a reluctance to write, my mother-in-law would rather that I grab her hand and make her write.

“The adults in any family should make sure that everyone is valued for what they are,” says Uma. For example, her mother-in-law would always highlight people’s complexions as fair or dark. While Tharika and Reya are both fair complexioned, the other family members

are rather dusky. One day Tharika commented that her grandma was brown. This upset the older lady. Uma used this opportunity to explain to both her daughter and mother-in-law, that such physical attributes were God-given and should be accepted as a gift. “Tharika has taken this so much to heart that she even refuses to call coffee brown,” laughs Uma.

Uma, on her part takes care not to converse with her daughter in English at home, as her in-laws are not very conversant in the language. “I do not want the children to think that their grandparents are in any way less knowledgeable than us,” she says.

CONNECTING WITH GRANDCHILDREN

Senior management consultant MS Jayaraman (70) and his self-help consultant and writer wife Rukmani Jayaraman (63) are erudite grandparents of Gitika, 10 years and Dhriti, 7 years. They feel an inexplicable disconnect with their granddaughters, who live in Singapore. They blame it on a lack of exposure to home culture and language. Though the grandparents are extremely fluent in English, they find it difficult to talk about their own childhood stories in an alien language. In Jayaraman’s home-office, the words are boldly written –‘Teach Dhriti Tamil!’

Jayaraman also says “The mythological tales we accepted without question are hard for today’s children to digest. I have to tone down the violence a great deal.” When he told them that Lakshmana scraped Soorphanakha’s nose just a wee bit because he was angry, Gitika retorted ‘That’s not a nice thing to do’. “How does

one argue with that?”, he asks.

At the same time, the Jayaramans are full of

admiration for the grandchildren’s intelligence, quick grasp and creativity!8

Bridging the gap

what grandparents, parents and grandchildren can do

GRANDPARENTS 4Take interest in your grandchildren’s

interests.

4Develop your own interests and try to

involve your grandchildren in them

without forcing them.

4If you have to take care of your

grandchildren, work in tandem with their

parents. Discuss ahead and resolve

differences of opinion.

4Focus on the positive and keep your

sense of humour.

4Avoid isolation. Make an effort to

maintain friendships, even if it is only by

telephone.

PARENTS 4Openly acknowledge the

grandparents’ support in raising

your children.

4Treat the elderly with respect and

patience. Your children will follow suit

4Include grandparents in family fun.

4Discuss family issues and allow them

to air their views. Their rich experience

may give you a new perspective.

4Encourage and facilitate the elderly to

develop their own interests and

social circles.

GRANDCHILDREN 4Spend at least 10 minutes quality time

with your live-in grandparents every day.

4Insist on visiting grandparents living

elsewhere, every fortnight/ every

quarter/ every year depending on

the distance.

4Keep in touch through letters and

phone calls.

4Share your ideas and interests

with grandparents.

4Encourage them to be as active as

possible, depending on their state of

health. Every now and then, involve

them in outdoor activities that

you enjoy.

Reya and Tharika with their grandparents

www.parentcircle.in 25

To read more SUBSCRIBE to

Parent CircleFor the Parent in You!