Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered with Autism NOW May 22, 2012

7/31/2019 Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered with Autism NOW May 22, 2012

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Agenda:

Compelling reasons why people with disabilities do not

disclose or report abuse

Mary Oschwald will described the Safer and StrongerProgram

Asking for Support - Sometimes friends and family

members want to be supportive, but theyre not sure

what to say or do. Heres a list of ways friends and family

can be supportive.

Self Care - Its important that you take care of yourself

when healing fromor living throughabusive

situations. Here are some ideas that may be useful to

you.

Peer-To-Peer Guide:

to know what abuse is

to know what to say and what to do when youhear about abusive situations.

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Barriers To Reporting Abuse

Some do not recognize their experience as abuse

The abuser may be a family member, staff person or

friend who provides essential care.

Abusers often damage, destroy, or take away equipment

that the person would need in order to escape or report.

There is, unfortunately, a great deal of shame when people

experience abuse. This can make it difficult to ask for help.

Fear of being institutionalized

Fear of having children taken away.

People with disabilities often fear they will not be believed

Many people with disabilities are reluctant to contact

agencies because of past bad experiences.

People who have mobility-related disabilities may not haveaccess to transportation options to get away from the abuser.

People with disabilities may lack options for pet care if they

leave their home.

People often fear mandatory reporting which may put

them at risk for escalated violence.


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Legal, Social & Cultural Barriers

There is an assumption that people with disabilities are non-

sexual or less sexual than others. (This, of course, is not true.)

Due to discriminatory attitudes, people with disabilities often

have fewer job opportunities, which can make self-sufficiencydifficult if they need to leave their home or start over.

Survivors with disabilities may have had bad experiences with

police officers, doctors, nurses, etc., and may be reluctant to

seek help.

Decreases in Social Security benefits or health insurance mayinfluence a persons decision to divorce an abusive partner.

If the person is an immigrant, they may be dependent on the

abusive spouse for citizenship status or immigration status.

Men with disabilities are less likely to report abuse based on

cultural norms of masculinity that create additional stigma

People are reluctant to ask for help when they know they will

be perceived and treated like children.

There is a lack of routine screening for violence in the lives of

people with disabilities.


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The Safer and Stronger Program

It uses a computer program to interview people with disabilities

about the sensitive topic of abuse. The program asks the questions

aloud. It also teaches the person about staying safe.

Many people who have used the program volunteered that it was

the first time they had been asked about abuse. We are not

suggesting that this computer based program should replace

people as interviewers and advocates. The Safer and StrongerProgram is an additional resource option for people to use to get

information and safety planning strategies.

The Safer and Stronger Program is confidential. This is an

important option for people with disabilities who are reluctant todisclose because they fear mandatory abuse-reporting laws.

The benefits of this program are people have a tool to identify

violence in their lives, and identify and access safety strategies and

support to save themselves from the often life-threatening

consequences of violence. 6


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Abuse Awareness - This topic is introduced by asking six

questions including, How much have you thought about

abuse?, and How much have you thought about ways

to be as safe from abuse as possible?

Abuse Screening - Questions about experiences with

abuse in the past year including, In the past year, has

anyone refused or forgotten to help with an important

personal need such as bathing, handled you roughly, or

touched you in a sexual way you did not want?

Risky Situations or Warning Signs - At this point, the

program goes has two different sets of questions

depending on a persons responses. One set of questions

is about factors that may increase risk for abuse. For

example, whether the abuser is someone a person

depends on for personal care, someone who drinks too

much, or someone who controls access to health care.

The other set of questions offers information about

warning signs for potential perpetrators, such as people

who want to control their daily activities.

The Safer and Stronger Program Covers These Issues


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Being Aware of Abuse and Staying Safe - This section is

designed to elicit self-reflection and provide violence

awareness information. A person learns about people

and places where they may find information about abuse

such as domestic violence shelters, crisis lines, disabilityorganizations, centers for independent living, the

Internet, and Adult Protective Services.

Build abuse safety skills. This section is used to assess a

persons knowledge about different safety skills, such as

how to choose and supervise personal assistants or

support people, learn self-defense skills, or set limits on

how people treat them.

Reach out to someone you can trust. Asks how many

people a person could reach out to, whether they have

actually talked to someone about personal safety,

whether they have developed a safety plan with

someone, and how much they have talked with people

about staying safe from abuse.

Have relationships that are good for you. These

questions stimulate thinking about relationship quality

and safety with other people. 8


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Take charge of your support. Questions regarding a

persons perceived safety and sense of control in

relation to their assistants, such as, How much do

you set limits in your relationships with personal

assistants?

Keep your money safe. Questions related to ways

money and finances can be kept safe. Examples

included, I have a bank account in my name, and I

have someone I can trust help me handle money.

Know your legal options. Questions in this

subsection ask, Have you ever talked with someone

who could help you apply for a stalking or restraining

order against an abuser? and How sure are you

that taking legal steps will increase your safety?

Plan for emergencies. The questions in this finalsubsection asked about making an actual safety

plan. Typical elements, such as having an extra set of

keys, important documents, having a back-up

personal assistant and extra medical equipment

(e.g., canes, catheter bags, medications) in a safeplace.

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Self Care - Its important to take care of yourself whenhealing fromor living throughabusive situations. Here

are some ideas. Remember, different things work for

different people. Try what appeals to you based on your

own abilities, likes and needs.

Paint, draw, sketch about how you are feelinggive it

shape, size, and color.

Keep a log of how youre feeling throughout the dayyou

may be feeling several conflicting emotions at once and

thats okay.

Express anger or frustration safely (such as hitting a

punching bag, screaming into your pillow or when youre

alone in your car, or ripping up cardboard).

Decorate a box and make it special to you. Write downfeelings or memories and put them in the box. It can be a

box for happy, safe feelings or a box where you put your sad

or angry thoughts. Decide if you want to have several boxes

for different emotions? Do you want to put all of your

emotional writings and drawings in the same box? Or would

it feel safer to destroy or throw away things youve written?


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Self CareKeep a list of resources that are helpful to you (names of

friends, numbers for hotlines, and so forth) in your pocket,

wallet, or purse.

Make a list of ten simple, free things you can do that make you

happy even if for just a momentsuch as walking barefoot in the

rain, lighting a candle, reading a particular poem, singing a

childhood song, telling a friend a joke, etc.

Many survivors are very hard on themselves & feel venting their

emotions is a waste of time. If experiencing your emotions is partof your healing process, then give yourself permission to cry, be

angry, vent your frustration, and express your grief. If necessary,

schedule time when you give yourself permission to do nothing

but cry or be angry or be happy.

Write yourself a letter as if you were your own best friend. Tellyourself all of the things you love and admire about yourself and

remind yourself to be patient and gentle with yourself. Mail the

letter to yourself if you think getting it in the mail will cheer you

up.

Draw on your natural strengths, talents, and hobbies to

determine other activities that feel healing and empowering.


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Asking for Support - Sometimes friends and family members

want to be supportive, but theyre not sure what to say or do.

They may attempt to ignore the situation for fear of saying the

wrong thing, or they may unintentionally say things that make

you feel worse. Heres a list of ways friends and family can be

supportive that you may want to share with people in your life.

Tell me its not my fault. I didnt deserve to be assaulted. What

happened to me was a crime.

Tell me you believe me.

Please listen without interrupting.

Please dont ask for details that Im not ready to share.

Please dont put me in a situation where I feel like I have to

comfort you.

Instead of telling me what to do, ask me what I need.Respect my confidentiality. Please dont talk to other people

about it without asking me first.

Be patient and understanding. Dont tell me to get over it. It

may take me months or years to recover from being abused.

Healing takes time, please respect my process.


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Asking for Support

Validate my emotionsI may feel rage, a deep sense of loss,

betrayal, confusion, or sadness. My feelings may change rapidly,

and thats okay.

Educate yourself on the issue. Seek out information so you canbe as informed as possible. Call a crisis line yourself to get the

support you may need in order to support me.

Dont tell me what I coulda done, shoulda done, or what

you woulda done. Telling me these things only makes it worse.

Please dont assume that you would have done anything

differently than I did, you dont know.

Please dont question how I handled the situation. I survived

which means I made the best decisions possible under extreme

conditions.

Dont make jokes or comments to lighten the situation.

Dont pretend it didnt happen. Please dont minimize the

experience in any way.

Please be honest with me about your limitations as a support

person.

Please know that I appreciate your concern and caring even

though I might not show it.


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Asking for Support

I may have personality changes as a result of the assault.

These changes may impact my relationships. I may relate to

you differently and, in response, you may need to relate to me

differently as well.

Please dont see me as a victim. Im a survivora strong,

courageous woman who is in the process of reclaiming my life.

This is a lot of information to remember when you are talking

to me. Just let me know that you care about me and that

youre doing the best you can.

Understand that what might have felt supportive to me

yesterday might not be what I need today, please be patient

and continue to ask me what I need to heal.

Supporting me may feel difficult or tiring, so please take care

of yourself, too. Hotlines at womens shelters can usually

offer you emotional support or refer you to places where you

can get the help you need in your own process. Some areas

offer support groups for friends and family members of

survivors.


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People with developmentaldisabilities can be more at riskfor abuse for many reasons.GMSA developed this guide to

support self-advocates, staff,members, volunteers, and alliesto know what domestic andsexual violence is and to know

what to say and what to do whenthey hear about abusive

situations.

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Peer-to-Peer Guide onDomestic & Sexual Violence

http://www.debkney.com/pdfs/GMSA_abuse.pdf
http://www.debkney.com/pdfs/GMSA_abuse.pdfhttp://www.debkney.com/pdfs/GMSA_abuse.pdf


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Ways To Respond When Someone

Talks To You About Abuse

As a peer

As a group of peers

As an state self-advocacy

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Ways To Increase Your Safety

Talk to a safe person about how you feel,even if you are afraid or ashamed

many people will understand

Talk to a safe person about how you

want to be treated in relationships

Learn about warning signs

Learn about safe relationships

Keep a list of resource numbers

and people you can call others?

Know and believe you have a right

to be treated with respect and care 17


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Creating A Peer-to-peer RelationshipFor Responding To Abuse

Who is a peer?

What does it take to be a peer?

What do peers do to be safe people?

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Peer Support

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Peer support can be offered in a variety of ways:Phone

Internet

In-person

Support Groups

Hot/Warm Lines

Etc.


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Definition Of Peer Support

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Peer support is:a system of giving

a system of receiving

built on respect, shared responsibility, mutualagreement of what is helpful

helpful to the person asking for support

helpful to the service system to provideco-advocacy

a trusting relationship


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Peer Experiences

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The peer has had similar experiences as the individualreceiving the peer support:

Dealing with discrimination

Dealing with victimization

Living with a disability or health concern

Using service systems (including crime victim

services)

Learning new information/tasksEtc.


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Peers are people who

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have a desire to support others are safe people

want to listen

are willing to set aside their own personal stories know about domestic violence and sexual assault

are available to you

do not give advice,

but offer

options and resources


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Peers are people who

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learn about resources for supporting survivorsof domestic violence and sexual assault

are willing to make a commitment to the self-

advocacy grouphave a way to communicate with others, such

as a phone, computer

have self-awareness and

know their own limits


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Parts Of A Policy For Supporting And

Training Peer Safe People

Recruiting peers who want to become safe people

Training peers who want to provide support as a safe

person

Supporting peer safe people so they do their job well

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Parts Of A Policy For Supporting

And Training Peer Safe People

Supporting a self-advocacy group to they can create a

community where domestic violence and sexual

assault is talked about

Supporting a self-advocacy group to teach other self-

advocacy group about what they have done to createpolicies and support peer safe people

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THE END

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http://www.pbase.com/marke/8_weeks


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Website:

www.autismnow.org

Information & Referral Call Center:

1-855-828-8476

Next Webinar:Tuesday, May 29, 2012, 2:00-3:00 PM, EDT

The Autism Societys Safe and Sound Initiative

PowerPoint/Recording:These materials will be provided to all attendees. Email Phuong

([email protected] ) to request additional materials.
http://www.autismnow.org/http://www.autismnow.org/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.autismnow.org/http://www.autismnow.org/

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Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered with Autism NOW May 22, 2012