Scientific Research Writing for Non-Scientific Research Writing for Non-Native Speakers of English: Native Speakers of English:

StyleStyle

Writing WorkshopWriting WorkshopDecember 1, 2010December 1, 2010

Martha Montello, Ph.D.Martha Montello, Ph.D.Director, Writing Consult CenterDirector, Writing Consult Center

Have something to say, and Have something to say, and say it as clearly as you can. say it as clearly as you can.

That is the only secret of That is the only secret of style.style.

Matthew ArnoldMatthew Arnold

Write clearly.Write clearly.

Aim for transparency.Aim for transparency.

There is now no effective mechanism There is now no effective mechanism for introducing into the initiation and for introducing into the initiation and development stages of reporting development stages of reporting requirements information on existing requirements information on existing reporting and guidance on how to reporting and guidance on how to minimize burden associations with minimize burden associations with new requirements.new requirements.

11stst principle of clear writing principle of clear writing

State who’s doing what in the State who’s doing what in the subject of your sentence, and subject of your sentence, and state what that “who” is doing state what that “who” is doing

in your verb.in your verb.

Which is clear?Which is clear?

Our lack of pertinent data prevented Our lack of pertinent data prevented determination of committee action determination of committee action effectiveness in fund targeting to areas of effectiveness in fund targeting to areas of greatest assistance need.greatest assistance need.

Because we lacked pertinent data, we Because we lacked pertinent data, we could not determine whether the could not determine whether the committee had targeted funds to areas committee had targeted funds to areas that needed assistance the most.that needed assistance the most.

22ndnd sentence names who acts in the subject sentence names who acts in the subject of each clause, and tells in specific verbs of each clause, and tells in specific verbs

what those actors do.what those actors do.

wewe lackedlacked

wewe could not determinecould not determine

the committeethe committee targetedtargeted

areasareas neededneeded

Readable, Transparent WritingReadable, Transparent Writing

5 Targets5 Targetswith exerciseswith exercises

NominalizationsNominalizations

Closing the coreClosing the core

Point of viewPoint of view

VerbosityVerbosity

Sentence lengthSentence length

NominalizationsNominalizations

Verbs changed to another part Verbs changed to another part of speech, particularly a noun.of speech, particularly a noun.

NominalizationsNominalizations

VerbVerb NominalizationNominalization

investigateinvestigate investigationinvestigationdiscoverdiscover discoverydiscoveryperformperform performanceperformanceimpairimpair impairmentimpairmentrespondrespond responseresponsedenydeny denialdenial

Typical Patterns of NominalizationsTypical Patterns of NominalizationsSubject + Empty Verb + ObjectSubject + Empty Verb + Object

The The data data are are proof proof of the of the thesisthesis..

ThereThere was was agreement agreement in the in the committee.committee.

Analysis Analysis of the issue of the issue was done was done by the by the authorauthor..

Returning Nominalizations to VerbsReturning Nominalizations to Verbs

The data are proof of the thesis.The data are proof of the thesis.

The data prove the thesis.The data prove the thesis.

There was agreement in the committee.There was agreement in the committee.

The committee agreed.The committee agreed.

Analysis of the issue was done by the author.Analysis of the issue was done by the author.

The author analyzed the issue.The author analyzed the issue.

Nominalizations garble up Nominalizations garble up sentences, fog the meaning.sentences, fog the meaning.

Cure: Change the Cure: Change the nominalization back to a verb.nominalization back to a verb.

There There will bewill be a suspension of these a suspension of these programs by the dean until his programs by the dean until his reevaluation of their progress reevaluation of their progress has has occurredoccurred..

The dean will suspend these programs until he re-evaluates their progress.

..

We We conductedconducted an an investigation of the matter.investigation of the matter.

We We investigatedinvestigated the matter. the matter.

A review A review was donewas done of the of the relevant regulations.relevant regulations.

We We reviewedreviewed the relevant the relevant regulations.regulations.

There There has beenhas been the exercise of the exercise of effective staff information effective staff information

dissemination control on the dissemination control on the part of the secretary.part of the secretary.

The secretary The secretary has has effectively effectively controlledcontrolled the way the staff the way the staff disseminates information.disseminates information.

Closing the Core

Word order in English

Subject – Verb - Object

Long sentences &how to make them clear

A. This surprising recovery in the face of an abrupt slowing of retail sales in the consumer durable goods sector with the consequent near panic of inventory reductions among manufacturers continued into the fourth quarter.

B. This surprising recovery continued into the fourth quarter in the face of an abrupt slowing of retail sales in the consumer durable goods sector with the consequent near panic of inventory reductions among manufacturers.

Subject / Verb “Core”

Readers want SUBJECT and VERB to

be close together and early in the

sentence.

A closed core.

core violation

A. This surprising recovery in the face of an abrupt slowing of retail sales in the consumer durable goods sector with the consequent near panic of inventory reductions among manufacturers continued into the fourth quarter.

closed core

B. This surprising recovery continued into the fourth quarter in the face of an abrupt slowing of retain sales in the consumer durable goods sector with the consequent near panic of inventory reductions among manufacturers.

Core violations & the Language of Expertise

Features to support consolidatedmanagement of Exchange Servercomputers (e.g. the Active DirectoryConnector (ADC) for Exchange 5.x, and theuse of Active Directory by the next releaseof Exchange, code-named “platinum,”instead of a separate directory) will alsobecome available.

Core violations& the Language of Expertise

Knowledge of institutional patterns of

decision making, of political alliances both

past and present, and of the relationship of

the institution to its community, for example,

clarifies our understanding of organizational

behaviors.

Core violations& the Language of Expertise

The recent raising of the question of the impact ofthe radical swing toward the recognition of therhetorical dimensions of knowledge on theeducational stances of those bulwarks of bothsecular and traditional religious faiths that are busyregistering this new insight and bringing aboutoften substantial changes in our contemporaryacademies’ attitudes toward the Jewish andChristian faiths is a subject to which, I think, weshould pay careful attention.

Core violations& the 10-second edit

A.

The member firms’ individuals or groups

designated to choose an exchange as the

destination for retail orders are our targets in

this phase.

Core violations& the 10-second edit

B.

Using a standard data collection form,

information regarding the patient’s age,

diagnosis, prognosis, cause of death, DNR

status, and limitation of treatment status will

be obtained.

Point of viewPoint of view

Personal or impersonal?Personal or impersonal?

First person in scientific writingFirst person in scientific writing

Tradition is changing.Tradition is changing.

First person is often shorter, simpler, and First person is often shorter, simpler, and less pompous.less pompous.

Eg. “The authors wish to thank…, or “The Eg. “The authors wish to thank…, or “The authors are prepared to argue….”authors are prepared to argue….”

First person can be less confusing.First person can be less confusing.Who did what? Whose results are whose?Who did what? Whose results are whose?

Confusing: This result was elucidated by Smith Confusing: This result was elucidated by Smith (1990) and Jones (1991). In these studies, the (1990) and Jones (1991). In these studies, the authors found inconsistencies in the results. It authors found inconsistencies in the results. It was found that the data differed slightly.was found that the data differed slightly.

Better: Smith (1990) was the first to explain this Better: Smith (1990) was the first to explain this result; Jones (1991) expanded upon the idea. result; Jones (1991) expanded upon the idea. Our research uncovered minor inconsistencies Our research uncovered minor inconsistencies in the data given in both of their studies.in the data given in both of their studies.

Use first person consistently and correctly.Use first person consistently and correctly.Avoid illogical shifts in point of view.Avoid illogical shifts in point of view.

Inconsistent: Inconsistent:

We have reached the point where one We have reached the point where one should do further experiments.should do further experiments.

Better: Better:

We have reached the point where we We have reached the point where we should do further experiments.should do further experiments.

Correct the point of viewCorrect the point of view

The laboratory technician will find that the The laboratory technician will find that the new procedure is an improvement; you will new procedure is an improvement; you will not need to sterilize the skin.not need to sterilize the skin.

Correct the point of viewCorrect the point of view

Jones and colleagues showed that some Jones and colleagues showed that some bacteria do not emit molecular oxygen but bacteria do not emit molecular oxygen but the authors herein contend that they still the authors herein contend that they still photosynthesize.photosynthesize.

VerbosityVerbosity

Wordiness makes your writing Wordiness makes your writing less readable.less readable.

Simplify. Simplify. It takes a long time to make it

short.

“Sorry to write such a long letter, but I didn’t have time

to make it short.”

“That” and “which” clauses are often overused--

and can garble up your sentences.

Wordy:Wordy:

The organism that Chu (1993) found was The organism that Chu (1993) found was a guppy that laid eggs.a guppy that laid eggs.

Better:Better:

The organism Chu (1993) found was an The organism Chu (1993) found was an egg-laying guppy.egg-laying guppy.

Question all prepositional phrases Question all prepositional phrases and clauses. Do you need them?and clauses. Do you need them?

Wordy:Wordy:

The dog with dysorexia was referred to a The dog with dysorexia was referred to a clinic in the neighborhood.clinic in the neighborhood.

Better:Better:

The dysorexic dog was referred to a The dysorexic dog was referred to a neighborhood clinic.neighborhood clinic.

Wordy:Wordy:

Group One includes a number of plants of Group One includes a number of plants of the genus the genus ColeusColeus..

Better:

Group one includes Coleus plants.

Wordy:Wordy:

The kitten which was the sole offspring of The kitten which was the sole offspring of the calico was devoid of hair that was the calico was devoid of hair that was orange in color.orange in color.

Better:

The calico’s sole offspring, the kitten lacked orange hair.

Revise for brevityRevise for brevity

To determine the mobility activity of the To determine the mobility activity of the organism, new state-of-the-art equipment organism, new state-of-the-art equipment was used.was used.

RevisionRevision

To determine the organism’s mobility, To determine the organism’s mobility, state-of-the-art equipment was used.state-of-the-art equipment was used.

Revise for brevityRevise for brevity

For a full and complete understanding of For a full and complete understanding of the impacts and ramifications of the hot the impacts and ramifications of the hot temperature upon the organism, it is our temperature upon the organism, it is our personal opinion that future plans should personal opinion that future plans should include a chilling procedure.include a chilling procedure.

RevisionRevision

To understand the effects of heat on the To understand the effects of heat on the organism, we plan to chill it.organism, we plan to chill it.

Revise for brevityRevise for brevity

The total absence of visible color was The total absence of visible color was absolutely unique.absolutely unique.

RevisionRevision

The absence of color was unique.The absence of color was unique.

Sentence length

For readability, most sentences in scientific prose should be about

15-20 words long.

Too long

Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified which included a first dog that had an unusual deformity secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis and a second dog that had a hypertrophic nonunion of the femur, and the radius and femur of both dogs were harvested and cleaned of soft tissues. [54 words in one sentence]

Too short

Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual deformity. It was secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis. The second dog had a hypertrophic nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested. They were cleaned of soft tissues. [51 words in 6 sentences: average, 8.5 words per sentence]

A readable balance

Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual deformity secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis; the second, a hypertrophic nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested and cleaned of soft tissues. [46 words in 3 sentences; average, 15.3 words per sentence.]

Variation in sentence length helps keep readers interested.

Guidelines refer to averages.

A (tongue-in-cheek) key to understanding scientific

writing

What the scientist said: “It has long been known that….”

What he meant: “I haven’t bothered to look up the original

reference, but….”

What the scientist said: “Of great theoretical and practical

importance….”

What he meant: “Interesting to me….”

What the scientist said: “It is believed that….”

What he meant: “I think….”

What the scientist said: “It is generally believed that….”

What he meant: “A couple of other guys think so, too.”

What the scientist said: “It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding….”

What he meant: “I don’t understand it.”

Attributions and citations:Attributions and citations:

-- Matthews, Bowen, and Matthews. -- Matthews, Bowen, and Matthews. Successful Successful Scientific WritingScientific Writing. Cambridge University Press, . Cambridge University Press, 2000.2000.

--Williams, Joseph. --Williams, Joseph. Style:Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity Ten Lessons in Clarity and Graceand Grace. Scott, Foresman and Company, . Scott, Foresman and Company, 1985.1985.

Do not distribute or copy any part of this presentation.Do not distribute or copy any part of this presentation.