Sample Copy. Not for Distribution.newly found joy will make you sing with it, Where on a rainy night, sweet noise of frog‟s Ter-ter seems to be the only alive existence, and if you

Sample Copy. Not for Distribution.

i

The Hardest Thing

Was To Continue

Loving You


ii

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING

Shubham Vihar, Mangla, Bilaspur, Chhattisgarh - 495001

Website: www.educreation.in __________________________________________________

© Copyright, 2017, Hemant Tigga

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, magnetic, optical, chemical, manual, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of its writer.

ISBN: 978-1-5457-1219-1

Price: ` 199.00

The opinions/ contents expressed in this book are solely of the author and do not represent the opinions/ standings/ thoughts of Educreation.

Printed in India


iii

The Hardest Thing

Was To Continue

Loving You

Hemant Tigga

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011)

www.educreation.in


iv


v

My Gratitude

X

In a surrounding where most grow up either to be

part of a rat race or to end up being a predictable story, I

was lucky to have real motivators in my life.

I am heartily thankful to my friends, Piyush: Who

made me believe that I could live my dream of being a

novelist. Julian Thomas: Who incepted the idea of

writing a fiction book. Somya: Who helped me in all

stages from honestly reviewing 1st draft to the finalizing

title of the book. Naman: for always being curious about

my work by asking when I am going to read your book

and used to get angry at me that you are taking too much

time. Swati, Mousmi, Abhirup: for very humbly letting

me realize the expectation of youth‟s with the book and

their high hope for me made me work harder. Shyamal,

Deepak & Durgesh: for silently being on my side, Dipti:

whose excitement for my book to be published became

light at the time of darkness and every one of XISS RD

(9-11) batch, you guys are closer to my heart.

And I am also thankful to everyone who never

believed in me or never took an interest in my work and

who knowingly or unknowingly discouraged me,

because of your negativity, distrust, disbelieve in me

came out to be my greatest strength.


vi

Gomoh

Gomoh where you can smell Peace in Air,

Where life is at Ease, and People are not in a rush,

Where you can spend time with yourself whenever

you wish to,

Where destiny is never odd,

Where you can feel absolute peace of night by lying

on your roof‟s floor watching clear view of constellation

while a passing train‟s whistle as if in the background

will make you feel nostalgic,

Where you can have a sip of tea on evenings while

watching the return of birds to their homes as if in the

lap of blue Parasnath Hills,

Where you can dive in the fresh water of

Jamunaiya River catching fish, burning woods and

spending some good time with close ones among nature,

Where every morning you can rejuvenate yourself

with a pollution-free morning walk,

Where in summer ever fresh orange flowers of

Palash tree will bring smiles of hope on your sweaty

face,

On fall season light green leaves of sesame tree will

pave your way on the streets and the smell of Eucalyptus

tree leaves will make your heart beat faster,

Where old Red Bricked bungalows and churches

will make you travel time leaving all worries for the

present,

Where Guru‟s Gupchup, Pachdu‟s samosa,

Bhokti‟s kachouri and Bose‟s Rasmalai are the cheapest

yet best treat you can ever get,

A place where you can find relief from modernity,

just choose to take a walk after dinner, and you can

listen to the sound of crickets,

Where on a dry summer‟s day, a newly arrived

wind will gently enter without knocking blowing your

house‟s curtain and takes your sweat away,


vii

On monsoons it will smell of grain, crossing the

paddy field and will be found excited and sometimes it‟s

newly found joy will make you sing with it,

Where on a rainy night, sweet noise of frog‟s Ter-

ter seems to be the only alive existence, and if you allow

it to grow inside you, it will make you forget all your

worries, while duck‟s quack-quack walking carelessly

towards pond down the street will once again compel

you to land in your childhood when you used to believe

fairy tale stories,

Gomoh, a destination you mustn‟t forget to visit if

you genuinely wish to find your soul.


viii

Preface

X

Gomoh, 7.00 Am

It was Sunday morning of October; I was enjoying hot

red tea on my roof (which for me is the best place on

earth so far) with a close friend of mine.

There, in the east Sun was as red as my red tea, on

its best peeping from behind the sagwan trees, I was lost

in watching the beauty of fog spread among paddy fields

in the Westside of my house until my friend (Rahul)

interrupted,

So how‟s your Job?

I took the first sip from my cup and given him a

cold look, and replied in a very harsh tone;

Right now, I don‟t want to talk about it, if you have

nothing better to say, keep quiet and enjoy the morning.

I get engrossed in watching the Sun; I was

absorbing its delicate rays on my body, I felt as if they

wanted to talk, they have a lot to say.

What are you thinking, a story!!!!

No, not exactly, I am blank, but I wanted to start

writing something.

So, Start, then what‟s the problem?

The problem is that I wanted to write so many

things and very particularly I want my first book to be a

love story, and because of my intensely dull routine Job,

I am not able to concentrate on a romantic angle.

Then have a love-story of your own, don‟t you have

anyone in your life, get involved, and have your personal

story.


ix

I am not that desperate to jump on anyone that‟s

available, and liking someone is not that simple for me if

it has to, it will happen, I can‟t force destiny to make it

happen and keep your stupid suggestions to yourself, it‟s

no use to me.

Ok, what if I tell you my love-story, and you write

it as if it has happened to you like it‟s your own story

and you are free to print it in your natural way,

Oh! That‟s not possible, how I would have the

feeling, I can‟t fake, and I wanted to be honest with my

words,

That‟s your challenge; the Good writer is the one,

who has the feeling of the character as if he has gone

through all of it.

I took the last sip of my tea, in excitement a big one

equal to three regular sips.

Yeah! This time you make sense.

But why you want me to do this? You don‟t have to

do this to help me?

I am doing this for myself, and as I can see there

can be four possible reasons,

First, I want my love-story to be known to the

world,

Second, I don‟t want the name and identity of the

real character‟s to be revealed,

Third, nobody can feel and give words to my story

better than you,

And Fourth, I can‟t tell this story to anyone other

than you. (He said this with a naughty smile)

I smiled back; I liked the fourth reason,

Ok, that sounds very exciting.

We went downstairs; I took my laptop-bag, two

apples, a few bananas, one-bottle water, my diary-pen

and we started walking towards Riverside, which is just

1 km walk from my house towards the south-west, we

started walking on medh among paddy fields.


x

And Rahul started narrating his story.

Wait! Wait! Are you going to start with the first

time you met?

No, I am not going to do that.

It's fine then, I am fed up with that, so how are you

going to start?

Let it be a wake-up call.


Hemant Tigga

1

Wake-up Call

X

On 1

st October (Topchanchi-Gomoh road),

After 6 Months of 3rd

Break-up.

It was Getting dark; I was on my way to reach Gomoh

just 15 more minutes of the ride, I was enjoying my ride

of Homecoming. In slow motion passing picture-perfect

small hills on both sides, cow, Goats, Dogs crossing the

road, few among them having rest on the road itself,

with the speed of my bike for 30-40kmp/h, I was even

enjoying the extra effort of making my way by putting

several sudden brakes. Kids were playing in the middle

of the road, youngsters cracking jokes in small groups

beneath trees, most of the old people were sitting outside

house very minutely staring every vehicle that passes.

My adrenaline was high, my enthusiasm for festive

season was at its top, it wasn‟t cold, it wasn‟t hot, it was

just perfect. I was planning in my mind what I could do

on this Holiday, and my thoughts were broken by a call

from an Unknown number. I don‟t receive a call while

driving. It was actually I had never been able to hear the

call while driving at an average speed of 60kmp/h or

above, but that day it happened as if it was pre-planned

and something made me suddenly stop and take that call,

a call that‟s going to change my life.

Phone Ringing…

I parked my bike and struggled hard to make my

Samsung Galaxy Grand reach my ear with the helmet

still on my head.


The Hardest Thing was to Continue Loving You

2

Hello, who‟s this?

Hello…. (She Paused…

For a moment I was numb, that voice didn‟t need

any introduction because there is only one person in my

actual world who never takes my name and the one who

never asked for me to confirm my name because she

knows my voice very well.

Sonali……..

Yeah

(I had so many questions for her, and when you

don‟t know how to start you begin with introductory

questions, so I did the same)

Where are you?

Banglore... (Again she paused)

When you left Gomoh?

It‟s been a few months...

(Silence around her was so profound that I could

have heard her breath)

So what are you doing there?

(I put off the helmet and let it rest on my thighs with

the support of the other hand. I don‟t remember what

she replied, I was just listening to her voice and

preparing to ask something important, and I only grasp

this much information that she is attending coaching

classes and going to take admission at a university for

masters)

So where are you now?

I am going home for Durga Puja Vacation, Right

now on the Gomoh- Topchanchi road about to reach

Gomoh.

So did you expect this call? (I was just wondering,

she sounded curious)

You will be surprised to know, but since morning I

have had this intuition that someone known is going to

call from an unknown number, however, I secretly

wished it should be you.


Hemant Tigga

3

Thanks for the attempt at making me feel better.

(She tried to sound sure that I wasn‟t expecting her,

and very successfully she made me realize that I was

lying for pleasing her, without giving hints of what she is

going to say, she just started)

I wanted to die, both my brother now knows about

all my affairs by browsing my Facebook id & mobile,

and it‟s getting hard for me to live with shame and guilt,

I feel pathetic, and I feel like killing myself.

(I was shocked by what she said, I never expected

that a girl like her-always full of life, would say this, and

I felt my life entirely non-happening from what she is

going through in her life.

I know it‟s hard, what you are going through, but

can you live alone. I mean: Can you spend life being

always single, if yes then try to live it, and you can still

make new friends, or go seeking someone new, and you

can always come back from where you started.

(I know what I said was very stupid, but she didn‟t

mention it, maybe she wasn‟t listening, I could have told

you can give me a second chance, we can be friends

again, but I refrained myself from saying that)

How‟s your life?

I am good, just Office, then home on weekends,

movie, books.

(I tried to sound too boring and pathetically

regularly; however, it wasn‟t as I tried to appear, I

thought since she is going through a tough phase I

shouldn‟t sound hilarious)

Have you met anyone?

No, I didn‟t; I am happy being single and I am

enjoying this. When will you be in Gomoh? (I wanted to

ask when we can meet. Have you found anyone? But I

make it appear indirect)

Nope, No one (she took a long pause).



4

I am about to come may be nearby Deepawali, I

will call you. I would like to meet you. I have so many

things to tell you; now I have to go, I could only tell you

in detail when we would meet, don‟t call on this number,

I will myself call you when It is possible for me, bye.

(She stopped for a few more seconds to hear my last

words)

OK!!!!! Yeah, sure we should meet.

Now she wasn‟t there on the phone, but I keep

standing there for two more minutes tried to outreach the

curves of the hill a few meters to my left and the yellow

light from the series of huts down the slope seem to give

me hope. Then in slow motion, I put on my helmet and

started driving, like I have no hurry to reach. So many

feelings were brimming inside, and what got surfaced

was, I was happy that she called, that she promised to

meet, that she still trust me, that I am the one she is

comfortable sharing her pain. I was excited about the

possible restart; I was sympathetic to the pain she is

going through, but she called on a totally unexpected

time, and I was so unprepared for that conversation. I

wanted to tell her that we could give it a fresh start. But

instead what I told her was unexpected by me, what if

she would follow my advice, start trying and found

someone new. I came to those lines because, since six

months of separation I had made myself believe that I

am single and will always be, it‟s good to be so, but now

suddenly this unexpected call has turned things around.

Now I want her back in my life; I have never found

her so much real as much I found her in those 15

minutes of the call. I felt a strong connection between us,

but I have ruined everything. I told myself, „Rahul,‟ you

are stupid. You could have told her, come, dear, come

back to me, I am still waiting for you, I will always be

yours, we can always start as if nothing has ever

happened like it was past, please come back to me, I am


Hemant Tigga

5

incomplete without you. But instead what I said was I

am single and happy. (Means I don‟t need you, what you

are going through is your problem, I even gave a frigid

response, when she said she wants to meet me).

Oh! God, how could I do this, it seems I am good at

ruining things, I just hope she would give me call before

October ends and when we shall meet, I will explain her

everything.

So, guys, you must be confused what‟s happening

here, let‟s take you to the beginning.



6

When I First Saw You

X

On a very bright windy summer evening, when I was

totally disillusioned with my life, the best thing of my

life happened. I saw her, at around six pm during the

month of hot May when everyone comes out in the

evening, I was crossing the right lane of Gandhi Chowk,

with my Mom and I saw a marvelous piece of God‟s

creation. It wasn‟t her beautiful black eyes or long

brown hair, but her perfect walk with grace as if a

princess from fairyland has just landed and honestly

putting efforts into making a righteous place on earth. It

wasn‟t that I hadn‟t seen beautiful girls, but there was

something extraordinary about her. It wasn‟t just

physical attraction; I felt a strong connection as if we

have known each other since past but somehow have

forgotten. I kept watching, her till she disappeared from

my sight. I felt, Oh! God, such a beauty in my

hometown, I also realized that she could never be in my

life, she looked so impossible for someone like me, my

mother went on shopping changing shops from ration to

clothes to miscellaneous, and I suddenly get totally

detached from everything going around except her.

While she was no more visible and my mother was

busy shopping, in my world, my heart told me that he

had never felt that before. Why my heart is behaving like

it wants to jump out and be with her, like she was the

only thing in the present, this meant something; my heart

can‟t lie, I need to hear him, this happened because

destiny wanted it to happen, my intuition told me that


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Sample Copy. Not for Distribution.newly found joy will make you sing with it, Where on a rainy night, sweet noise of frog‟s Ter-ter seems to be the only alive existence, and if you