I watched the pole feigning innocence as it delicately dipped down. Tangling the net in its path, it abandoned its soldier-like stance which was supposed to maintain a volleyball court. I stared in horror as it knocked her head with a solid thud. It wasn't in slow motion like the books say; rather it was like an action scene of a James Bond movie blazing in my head in hi-def. I ran forward and watched my camper look up at me with disbelieving eyes, hands held tight to her head. I reached over and grabbed her hands, feeling ours stick together, bonded by warm blood. My stomach plummeted a mile down and I gasped as she started sobbing. I wished right then I could run far away, to hide from confronting the unfairness of life as it struck this sweet nine year old. Looking back, the unfairness I felt was more about me shirking responsibilities than a few stitches to Sallys head.I was numb in a crisis that needed a leader. My senses spiraled chaotically into a paralyzed state until all I could do was watch. I never expected to be backed into a position of responsibility in a day camp with many older, more experienced staff, yet here I was-helpless. I, a mere 16 year old counselor, was forced into immediate action.Once Sally was safe in the office, after assisting as best I could, I went to the bathroom to allow my fortress to break down. Scrubbing my skin raw trying to eradicate the fear along with the blood, I realized that like Lady Macbeth, no amount of foamy bathroom soap would help me "out this damned spot. Whenever the Sally episode dared to float to the surface of my mind for the next month I tried suppressing the guilt. Only flaw in this plan was that while Sally was back to cartwheels the next day, I was left struggling-How could an event so traumatic to me leave so little impact on the actual victim?Perhaps the answer stems from being thrust into conquering fears. According to Dale Carnegie, Inaction breeds doubt and fear. I had frozen in the moment, stirring up a hefty fear of responsibility. Sally wasnt afraid per-say, she was hurt. Her gash was able to be patched up by an EMT within hours, whereas my paralysis needed to be overcome by action. Carnegie continued, If you want to conquer a fear, do not sit and think about it...get busy. I pulled through the turmoil inside of me by drawing confidence from my actions, proving my helplessness wrong. I wish I had thrust myself into busy-ness rather than having it thrust upon me. If Id already known this in the summer, I wouldve had an easier time shifting to an adult role in the moment. Now that Ive overcome that first barrier, I wont be so nervous to plunge into getting busy in the future.