Running head: COMMUNICATION IN LONG …...COMMUNICATION IN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS 3 Literature Review (Eboni) Bejerano, A., & Church, S. (2009). An Analysis of Communication and

Running head: COMMUNICATION IN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS 1

Communication in Long Distance Relationships

Eboni Davis, Aliyah Johnson, Katherine Lehman, and Eva Simone

Interpersonal Communication

December 5, 2016

COMMUNICATION IN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS 2

Introduction

(Katie)

We chose to study maintenance of long distance relationships through communication,

because of our related personal experiences. Most of our research team members have been in

long distance relationships (LDRs) before, so our group wanted to study how communication

plays into LDRs. Another reason we wanted to study communication in LDRs was that none of

us have previously studied LDRs. As students of communication, we have studied

communication as it relates to other concepts such as workplaces and sports. LDRs, however,

were unchartered territory to us.

Our goals were to learn what forms of communication most partners use, how

communication relates to trust, and how face-to-face communication affects LDRs. Learning

about what forms of communication most partners use was critical to our understanding of how

partners maintain their LDRs. We chose to study trust because trust is important in any

relationship, and it would likely be especially important in LDRs. Lastly, we examined how

face-to-face communication affects LDRs because face-to-face communication is a different

experience compared to more limited methods. For example, texting limits partners to only

reading what the other person said. Therefore, miscommunication tends to occur. Similarly, text

messages and phone calls lack nonverbal cues, which can make communication difficult.

Learning about each of those subjects helped us not only further our academic understanding of

communication, but also connect our studies to our personal experiences. Relating to our topic

helped us to better comprehend the material.


Literature Review

(Eboni)

Bejerano, A., & Church, S. (2009). An Analysis of Communication and How Individuals in

Long Distance Romantic Relationships Manage Dialectical Tensions. Conference Papers --

National Communication Association, 1.

The article Long Distance Romantic Relationships Manage Dialectical Tensions, is an

explanation of a study conducted on how communication is affected by conflict within long

distance relationships. Researchers Arleen Bejerano and Scott Church from the University of

Nebraska, Lincoln goal was to examine the contradictions that couples experience in their

LDRRs, how they deal with these tensions, and the channels they use to facilitate their

communications. Recently the number of college students in LDRRs have increased; due to, the

use of technology. Technology allows people to communicate frequently. Thus, allows people to

communicate with each other on a daily bases; just as if they were face to face. Although an

extensive amount of communication can cause tension as well. Researchers developed three

research questions to analyze conflict dialect change: What channels do couples in long distance

romantic relationships use to manage their relationship and the tensions they experience?, What

dialectical tensions characterize interaction in long distamnce romantic relationships?, and How

do couples in long distance romantic relationships manage the dialectical

tensions in their relationship?.

Researchers target audience for the study were college students from large midwestern

universities. In order to be selected for the study participants have to be 19 years of age

or older at the time of the interview, be currently involved in a serious LDRR (meaning that


they intended to either marry or move in together), and must have met their romantic partner

face-to-face at least one time in the past. There were 22 participants in this study all from

different types of backgrounds. The demographics consist of majority white and/ or male. While

the average age was 21 and average LDRR lasted 23 months. Also, and average of 22 times a

month participants would see their partner face to face. Then lead researchers to utilized the

in-depth, semi structured interview method by conducting interviews using our interview

protocol as a guide, and then adapting the questions with each individual to probe further into the

psychological and social world” of the participant (Bejerano & Church 2009).

The study focused on whether communications decreases or increases tension in long

distance relationships. Participants responses determined there are several communication

channels; such as, the telephone, face-to-face interactions, e-mail, text-messaging, social

networking sites, and the postal service for specific reasons and to accomplish various goals.

From the study researchers found most participants used telephone to communicate. It was

proven most felt talking on the phone was better for having arguments. Therefore, partners could

know one another's emotions. Not to mention, individuals experienced four underlying

dialectical tensions: togetherness apart; certainty-uncertainty; independence-connection; and

presence-absence face to face communication was preferred by participants for the same reasons.

Researchers also determined, manage the dialectical tension is individuals engaged in talk,

communication and relationship rituals, face-to face time, and assumed responsibility for the

distance separating the couple or placed responsibility elsewhere.

Overall, college students within long distance relationships are least likely to stay together

due to conflict. Even though there’s several communication outlets for students to use they lack


expressing emotion if not during a telephone call. Thus , allowing couples to experience one of

the dialectical tensions. This article relates to our study of why college students how often they

communicate and whether their choice of communication is an advantage to the relationship.

This question is listed in as an open ended question within the survey.

(Eva)

Billedo, C. J., Kerkhof, P., & Finkenauer, C. (2015). The use of social networking sites for relationship maintenance in long-distance and geographically close romantic

relationships. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, And Social Networking, 18(3), 152-157.

The article “The Use of Social Networking for Relationships Maintenance in

Long-Distance and Geographically Close Romantic Relationships” is about how long-distance

relationship (LDR) partners communicate through social networking sites (SNS). The

researchers also discuss how couples monitor their relationships through social media. The

research was conducted through an online survey directed towards young people who use

Facebook and are in a LDR.

Participants in geographically close romantic relationships (GCRRs) and long-distance

romantic relationships (LDRRs) were compared to see who used social networking sites for

“partner surveillance and experienced higher levels of SNS jealousy” (Billedo et al., p.152).

Participants in LDRRs reported “higher levels of relational maintenance behaviors through SNS

than participants who were in Geographically Close Romantic Relationships (GCRR)” (Billedo,

Kerkhof, & Finkenauer, 2015, p.152). Facebook is the most popular SNS (Billedo et al., p. 153).

LDRs maintain much more attention than geographically close romantic relationships. As for

GCRRs, social networking sites have led partners to jealousy, and LDRRs have “engage[d] more


in SNS partner surveillance” (Billedo et al., p. 153), which then results in jealousy with the

relationship.

The survey had 272 voluntary participants, 187 of which were females, ages 17-25

(Billedo et al., p.153). Throughout the research, LDRs and GCRRs showed “comparable levels

of commitment, relationship satisfaction, and trust” (Billedo et al., p. 154). In the results, it was

more likely that LDRR had higher levels of insecurities then GCRR, and used SNS to monitor

their partner's actions. In conclusion, even though LDRs are limited in face-to-face interaction,

they still use other resources to keep in touch with one another. This article relates to our topic

because it discusses the struggles in LDRs and focuses on a younger audience.

(Katie)

Firmin, M. W., Firmin, R. L., & Merical, K. L. (2013). Extended communication efforts involved with college long-distance relationships. Contemporary Issues In Education

Research, 6(1), 97-110.

This study is about how partners in LDRs use communication to sustain their

relationships. Firmin, Firmin, and Merical conducted their literature review about three topics

overall: the basis for LDRs, the perception of one’s partner, and maintaining LDRs. In the study,

they found that communication is extra important in LDRs, compared to proximal relationships.

They identified five specific efforts that partners must put into LDRs: 1) improve communication

skills, 2) understand tone of voice, 3) compensate, 4) work harder at communication, and 5)

commit to communication.

First, improving communication skills helps partners avoid conflict. Listening is

especially important because most couples in LDRs share their life experiences over the phone.

Second, understanding the partner’s tone of voice is important to communicating. The lack of


body language cues make tone of voice critical to understanding messages, and sarcasm makes

messages harder to understand. Third, partners must compensate for the lack of context. Partners

must make an effort to relate to each other, because they cannot witness the surroundings that

each other experiences from day to day. Fourth, LDR partners perceive themselves as harder

workers compared to people in short-distance relationships. Distance adds issues to the

relationship, but these challenges make partners appreciate the communication in their

relationship even more than if they were in a proximal relationship. Fifth, LDR partners mutually

commit themselves to communication. The communication must be both frequent and deep.

Using the five efforts that the researchers identified, partners in an LDR can sustain and improve

both their communication and the relationship as a whole.

This article relates to our study by introducing us to how communication plays into

college LDRs. The article’s target population is similar to ours, so the results about the necessity

of extended communication foreshadows what we will likely find in our study.

(Aliyah)

Jimenez, F. V., & Asendorpf, J. B. (2010). Shared everyday decisions and constructive

communication: Protective factors in long-distance romantic relationships. Interpersona,

4(2), 157-182.

The article Shared everyday decisions and constructive communication: Protective

factors in long distance relationships was written by Fanny V. Jimenez and Jens B. Asendorpf.

This article was found in the journal Interpersona which was published in 2010. The article is

based on a study that applied an attachment framework to explore whether shared everyday

decisions and constructive communication during conflicts serve as protective factors for


relationships. This study was conducted using a sample size of 971 people in long-distance

relationships. The researchers came up with three hypothesis based on past research findings by

their peers. First, “Higher levels of SHARED and constructive communication are positively

associated with relationship satisfaction, commitment, and stability.” The second hypothesis was

that “ Avoidance is negatively related to both behaviors while anxiety is negatively related to

constructive communication and positively SHARED.” Finally, the third hypothesis was that “

Attachment avoidance and anxiety are negatively associated with relationship satisfaction,

commitment and stability” (Asendorpf & Jimenez, 2010).

The study found that shared everyday decisions otherwise known as SHARED were

more linked to commitment than relationship satisfaction. The findings of this study suggest that

attachment anxiety and avoidance influence relationship quality and stability partially through

being the two communicative factors in long distance relationships. researchers founded, those

within long distance relationships scored higher in attachment anxiety. Within a long

relationship it was proven that males have a greater avoidance than females. This was the only

sex difference within the whole survey. However, avoidant individuals had low levels on

relationship satisfaction and commitment. While anxious individuals only reported low levels of

relationship satisfaction. These results proved researcher’s hypothesis 3 correct. Additionally,

researcher’s prediction was true about a positive correlations between relationships commitment

and communicative behaviors. Relationship stability was at high indicating their use is

associated with higher relationship quality. While, higher attachment avoidance and anxiety was

interrupted as low stability.


Overall, this article relates to our study because it reveals that couples in long distance

relationships use communication to sort through conflict. Also, this study opened our eyes to the

fact that different attachment styles impact communicative efforts in LDRs. Based on our

literature review, we created the following research questions:

RQ1: What are the most common forms of communication that partners use to maintain a

long-distance relationship (LDR)?

RQ2: What is the relationship between trust and communication in LDRs?

RQ3: How does face-to-face communication influence LDRs?

Method

(Discussed together; Katie wrote)

To answer our research questions, we created a survey to distribute to our target

population of college students in LDRs. We chose this group as our target population because the

results would be relevant to our immediate environment of college students. Additionally, the

population was very reachable because, as college students, our research team knew of several

means of reaching large numbers of college students.

We posted the survey to the pages of various colleges’ Facebook groups, as well as to our

own Facebook walls. By sharing the survey to those pages, we reached 159 people who took the

survey. 76 of those participants did not complete the survey. Our final dataset came from the 83

people who completed the survey, yielding a 52.2% completion rate. Participants completed the

survey using our link to the website QuestionPro. We put an introduction before the survey to let


participants know what to expect and what we would do with the data. No participants contacted

researcher Katherine Lehman. The following is the introduction:

Hello: You are invited to participate in our survey, Maintaining Long Distance Relationships through Communication. In this survey, approximately 50 people will be asked to complete a survey that asks questions about communication in long distance relationships. It will take approximately 10 minutes to complete. Your participation in this study is completely voluntary. There are no foreseeable risks associated with this project. However, if you feel uncomfortable answering any questions, you can withdraw from the survey at any point. It is very important for us to learn your opinions. Your survey responses will be strictly confidential. Your information will be coded and will remain confidential. If you have questions at any time about the survey or the procedures, you may contact Katherine Lehman at [email protected]. Thank you very much for your time and support. Please start with the survey now by clicking on the Continue button below.

The survey itself consisted of 28 questions that would help us answer our research

questions. We began with questions that would filter respondents down to just our target

population. For example, we asked for respondents’ age range and whether or not they have ever

been in a long distance relationship. Next, we asked questions about methods of communication,

since one of our research questions was about common forms of communication. We also asked

about frequency of communication, including visits. Then, we asked questions about trust and

cheating, because one of our research questions is about trust. Our open-ended questions

consisted of questions about challenges and advantages of LDRs, to answer our research

question about trust and our question about face-to-face communication. We concluded the

survey with questions about overall happiness and optimism in the relationship, to gauge how

participants felt as a whole.


(Katie & Aliyah)

We ran into challenges in terms of reaching our target population. Since we wanted to

reach college students in LDRs, we asked participants if they are in or have been in an LDR;

however, we should have also asked them if they are currently enrolled in college or if they were

in college at the time of the LDR. Another challenge we had was using the website QuestionPro

to create the survey. At one point, when we had almost finished writing all of the survey

questions, we were unable to recover the survey on the website. We contacted technical support

and waited over a week for a response. Due to the lack of effort from QuestionPro’s technical

support team, we then decided that we would use an older version of our questions to remind us

which questions we had asked. Therefore, we re-wrote the survey and actually improved it,

because discussing the questions again helped us to brainstorm about new questions to add. From

that challenge, we learned to have only one group member logged into the website at a time. One

of QuestionPro’s employees told us that having more than one group member logged in at once

could have caused a technical glitch that caused the website to not save our survey. In the final

version of the survey, the numbers on the questions appeared out of order on the website, but we

were able to order the questions in proper numeric order. The following is the survey questions

that the participants had to complete:

1. What is your age? 18-22 23-26 27-30 31-older

2. What is your preferred gender? Male Female Other


3. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes No

4. How long have you been in your current long distance relationship (or how long did your previous long distance relationship last)? Less than 6 months 6 months to less than a year 1 year to less than 2 years 2 to less than 5 years 5 to less than 10 years 10 or more years

5. How do you communicate with your partner? Video call Phone call Text message Social media Mail All of the above

Other

6. If you use a video call, how often do you use it to communicate with your partner? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week 5 or more times per week Not applicable

7. If you use a phone call, how often do you use it to communicate with your partner? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week 5 or more times per week Not applicable

8. If you use text messaging, how often do you use it to communicate with your partner? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week 5 or more times per week Not applicable

9. If you use social media (Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, etc.), how often do you use it to communicate with your partner? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week


5 or more times per week Not applicable

10. If you mail packages or letters to your partner, how often do you do so? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week 5 or more times per week Not applicable

11. If you use a different medium, how often do you use it to communicate with your partner? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week 5 or more times per week Not applicable 12. My partner starts the conversation: Always Sometimes Never

13. I start the conversation: Always Sometimes Never

14. How far apart do you and your partner live from each other?

15. Do you visit your partner? Yes No

16. How often do you visit your partner? 1 time per week 2-4 times per week 5 or more times per week 1 time per month 5 or more times per month Not applicable Other

17. What is your preferred means of transportation, when you visit each other? Train Bus Car


Plane

18. Do you trust your partner? Yes No

19. Have you ever suspected your partner of cheating?

Yes No

20. Do you routinely monitor your partner’s social media profile(s)? Yes No

21. Please describe how communication has influenced how much you trust your partner.

22. Describe the most challenging thing about being in a long distance relationship.

23. What are advantages of being in a long distance relationship?

24. Who do you feel is more attached, you or your partner? Me My partner

25. Please rate (with 5 being the highest) how close you are to your partner. 1 2 3 4 5

26. How do you maintain a healthy relationship while being away from your partner?

27. On a scale from 1 to 5 (with 5 being the highest) how happy are you in your long distance relationship? 1 2 3 4

5

28. After taking this survey, how optimistic do you feel about the future of your relationship? Very optimistic Somewhat optimistic


Neutral Somewhat pessimistic Very pessimistic

Results (Eva)

The average age of respondents was 18-22 years old. The younger generation feels that it is

difficult to be in a LDR, but there are other ways to communicate with each other. Social

networking sites have improved the way LDR partners communicate with one another. Some of

the social networking sites include Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Couples that live far

away still interact each other, but in a more modernized setting. Females feel that it is important

to have open communication with their partners at all times. Although couples cannot help being

in a LDR, they can control how they decide to communicate.

The survey was taken mostly by females. About 83.13% were females, and 16.87% were

males. In the survey, females felt that their partners can be trusted until they have experienced

infidelity. Females are more open to LDRs if communication is constant throughout the

relationship. Males feel that their partner can be trusted even if they do not communicate on a

daily basis.

The respondents have made it clear that open communication is the key to having a

successful relationship. The target audience was a younger audience, who have experienced

LDRs. 98.80 percent of respondents have been in a LDR, and only 1.20% have not. With these

results, respondents are open to LDRs. Lastly, LDRs have lasted for two to less than five years.

Respondents felt after a few years without change in location, a LDR would eventually become

unsuccessful.


LDRs can be a challenging experience for couples, but if partners have the right attitude

and communication, then a relationship can become successful. In a LDR, it is important to have

no secrets, to communicate on a daily basis, and to know about the partner’s past relationships.

Couples in a LDR may not get to see each other as much as they would like, but the main goal is

to communicate.

(Katie)

One of our open-ended questions was, “Describe the most challenging thing about being in

a long distance relationship.” The main themes that came about in the answers were:

communication, missing face-to-face contact, scheduling, trust, and lack of physical contact.

Only one respondent said that there were no challenges. Of the respondents that discussed

communication, most of the respondents said that maintaining interest in one’s partner was

difficult. The conversations became less deep and therefore less interesting. Respondents found

that they had to make a special effort at maintaining communication and that it was difficult to

understand each other.

Next, in terms of missing face-to-face contact, most respondents discussed the following:

fights, needing support, envying proximal couples, feeling that proximal couples take each other

for granted, feeling as if he or she is single, missing sharing day to day experiences/activities,

and missing being able to choose when to see one’s partner. The respondents showed that

face-to-face contact is important in communication because they often had issues with fighting

and needed in-person support. They also showed that lack of face-to-face contact leads long

distance couples to compare themselves to proximal couples. Respondents emphasized the

importance of sharing the little things in life, like sharing in social events and waking up


together. They also missed not being able to choose when to see each other, demonstrating that

choice is a factor in long distance communication.

Additionally, scheduling communication with one’s partner was difficult for respondents.

Respondents had conflicting schedules, and one respondent had a six-hour time difference from

the partner. As respondents dealt with issues such as scheduling, they questioned trust in the

relationship as well. One respondent specifically wondered if the relationship was worth it, while

another respondent frequently wondered who the partner was with. The lack of face-to-face

contact played into trust issues between partners.

Lastly, lack of physical contact presented challenges to partners. Respondents especially

missed physical expressions of support such as hugs. Some respondents mentioned missing

kisses, one respondent mentioned missing cuddling, and one respondent specifically mentioned

missing sex. Another respondent said that physical contact was an issue for her because her

partner cheated on her while they were long-distance partners. A different respondent said that

physical touch correlates with communication, so the lack of physical contact made

communication difficult. The respondent who said that there were no challenges did not

elaborate on how the couple avoided challenges.

Overall, communication, missing face-to-face contact, scheduling, trust, and lack of

physical contact were the main challenges in respondent's long distance relationships. Long

distances can complicate methods of communication, especially because of a lack of face-to-face

contact. Differing schedules and sometimes even times zones makes scheduling time for

communication difficult. Long distances between partners make trust even more important than

in proximal relationships, because partners cannot see each other in person to verify that they are


being truthful. Another challenge was lack of physical contact, because partners use physical

contact as a means of both emotional support and affection. The respondents were very

self-aware about the challenges in their long-distance relationships and learned a great deal from

their experiences.

(Eboni)

Participants weren’t satisfied about being unable to see they’re partners face to face

frequently. Although there are other benefits. In the survey we asked an open ended question

stating “what are the advantages of being in a long distance relationship?” There were several

different responses. The most popular was having independence from their partner at 27%.

Participants enjoyed how being away from their partner allows them the opportunity to focus on

school. Also, provided them of their space. Separation from one’s partner enables them to

cherish the time they do spend together. However, only 5% thought trust was an advantage.

Building trust is highly needed in a long distance relationship, furthermore all relationships. The

responses proves the distance in a LDRRs aren’t negative but more so positive. It gives both

partners the opportunity to be independent while admiring their relationship.

(Aliyah)

For questions 14-17 they all related to the actual distance and how often the participants visit

their partners. We asked the participants in an open-ended question format how far are they

from their partners. The answers resulted in a wide range of distance all in the forms of hours,

minutes, and miles. Some participants distance was as low as 45 minutes and it went up to as

long as 17 hours. Approximately 50% of the participants who answered this question were 3-5

hours away from their partner. Also, some did answer in miles but this range was wide. Some


participants were only about 200 miles away and then it went as far as 4,000 miles to their being

overseas. After looking at the wide range of results from this question it was determined that

people determine long distance based on personal circumstances. Some might feel that 45mins

away is long distance which could be due to factors such as transportation or finances. Yet,

others viewed long distance as being a more substantial amount of time or miles away from their

partner for instance, the people that answered that their partners were out of state or overseas.

We went on to ask if they visit their partner, and 91.7% which is 79 out of the 83

participants answered yes. Then we went into further detail by asking “how often do they visit

their partner?” the answer choices were 1 time per week, 2-4 times per week, 5 or more times

per week, 1 time per month, 5 or more times per month, not applicable, or other. Other was our

fill in option for this question, in which 34.94% of the participants selected. This option was

very good at revealing how most of the participants are in college so they only are able to see

each other on breaks which can range from 2-3 times a year. On the contrary 48.19% of the

participants answered 1 time per month. This reveals that most college students in LDRs either

make time to see each other on a regular basis being once a month or they only have time to see

each other when they are on break which is most likely due to the distance considering that 50%

of the participants are 3-5 hours away from their partners.

The final question for the distance and visitation portion of the survey was based on what

were the participants preferred means of transportation. The choices given were car, bus, train,

or plane. Most of the participants used car with 63.86% of the student’s chose car on the survey.

About 30% use plane, and only 5% of the participants said they use bus. Out of all 83

participants none of them chose to train as their method of transportation. This does not mean


that no college student in an LDR would use a train to see their partner, but it shows that based

on our results and the participants we had that train just isn’t a choice of transportation. WE also

considered other factors such as location and finances as well.

One of our open ended questions “How do you maintain a healthy relationship while being away

from your partner?” was composed to give us as researchers some insight into what methods the

participants use to try to maintain a healthy relationship. The main themes used were daily

communication, open communication and honest, facetime and skyping, and texting. Over 10

respondents said that daily communication was a method they used to maintain a healthy

relationship. Open communication and honesty were key words used to describe how to

maintain a healthy relationship as well. Over 30 respondents mentioned open communication

and honesty as a method they use. One of the respondents even went into detail stating “We

don't coop emotions up-- we are very honest. Sometimes this results in small fights, but when we

fight we always skype (it's much easier to say mean things over text) and we usually make up

very quickly.” This respondent was also one of many who believe that skype and facetime are

important. Using skype and facetime allows them to actually see their partner which helps feel

that void when it comes to the lace of face-to-face contact in LDRs. Also, some used texting as a

method but it wasn’t as popular as daily communication, open communication and honesty, and

facetime and skype. This could be because texting doesn’t actually allow you to see your partner

making it less reassuring than the other methods mentioned.

RQ1: What are the most common forms of communication that partners use to maintain a long-distance relationship (LDR)?

(Katie)


Based on the results of our multiple-choice questions about methods of communication,

the most common forms of communication are text message and phone call, though partners also

use video call, social media, and mail. Almost 70 percent of the participants answered that they

use “All of the Above” methods to communicate with their partner, including video call, phone

call, text message, social media, and mail. Participants who did not answer “All of the Above”

exclusively use text messages, phone calls, or other forms (in order of most popular to least

popular). Over 90 percent of participants who use a text message use it 5 or more times per

week. The majority of participants who use a phone call use it 6 or more times per week. The

next most popular method of communication was video call. Most participants who use a video

call use it once per week or 2-4 times per week. No participants answered that they exclusively

use social media or mail. Of participants who use all methods of communication, most

participants use social media 2-4 times per week or 5 or more times per week. Of those same

participants, nearly all participants send packages or letters once per week. Of the participants

who use other forms of communication, most participants use other forms once per week. For

any of the forms of communication that this survey explored, over 90 percent of participants

answered that sometimes their partner starts the conversation.

(Aliyah)

In analyzing the open-ended question “How do you maintain a healthy relationship while

being away from your partner” a lot of respondents believed that facetime and skype were

necessary to maintain a healthy relationship with their partner. Facetime and skype allows

couples to actually see each other while talking unlike other methods of communication such as

text messaging. With over 15 participant answering that skype and facetime were used to


maintain their LDR it adds to the idea that this is one of the most popular forms of

communication in LDRs.

RQ2: What is the relationship between trust and communication in LDRs?

(Eva)

In our survey we had an open ended question called, “Please describe how

communication has influenced how much you trust your partner.” Respondents answered by

discussing having communication on a daily basis, having no secrets, and knowing about their

partner and his or her past relationships. Within the survey, there were two participants who

stated that they did not need communication to trust their partner. They choose to automatically

trust their partner until they have a good reason not to. Overall, participants in the survey felt that

communication is needed within the relationship to establish trust.

(Eboni)

Trust is a key factor in any relationship including a long distance relationship. In our

survey we asked two questions about trust: “Do you trust your partner?” and “Have you ever

suspected you partner of cheating?” 98.8% answered yes they do trust their partner while 1.2%

answered no. While, 86.75% responded yes to “have you ever suspected your partner of

cheating?” and 13.25% answered no. with social media being a prompt influence for one to

snoop on their partner. However, participants mostly answered no to checking social media

moderately on their partner with 60%. The survey proves, despite the distance people still have

trust within their partner. Unlike, the rate of people being in a proximity distance.

(Katie)


The results of our open-ended question, “Describe the most challenging thing about being

in a long distance relationship,” also helped to answer this research question. As respondents

dealt with issues such as scheduling, they questioned trust in the relationship as well. One

respondent specifically wondered if the relationship was worth it, while another respondent

frequently wondered who the partner was with. The lack of face-to-face contact played into trust

issues between partners.

(Aliyah)

The results of the open-ended question “How do you maintain a healthy relationship

while being away from your partner?” helped answer this research question as well. One of the

most popular responses the participants gave was that open communication and honesty were

used to maintain a healthy relationship. This indicated that our respondents felt that honesty and

being open with each other were key components in maintaining their LDR. The fact this

response was so popular reveals why so many of the respondents had trust in their partners.

RQ3: How does face-to-face communication influence LDRs?

(Katie)

The results of our open-ended question, “Describe the most challenging thing about being

in a long distance relationship,” helped to answer this research question. In terms of missing

face-to-face contact, most respondents discussed the following: fights, needing support, envying

proximal couples, feeling that proximal couples take each other for granted, feeling as if he or

she is single, missing sharing day to day experiences/activities, and missing being able to choose

when to see one’s partner. The respondents showed that face-to-face contact is important in

communication because they often had issues with fighting and needed in-person support. They


also showed that lack of face-to-face contact leads long distance couples to compare themselves

to proximal couples. Respondents emphasized the importance of sharing the little things in life,

like sharing in social events and waking up together. They also missed not being able to choose

when to see each other, demonstrating that choice is a factor in long distance communication.

Discussion

(Katie)

LDRs involve more types of communication than we expected. We did not think many

people would use mail, given the current popularity of online communication. It seems that using

a variety of methods of communication helps partners to better stay in touch, because using only

one form of communication would limit partners to how they could understand each other.

Despite this communication, partners still go through several challenges. The results matched up

with the challenges we generally associate with LDRs. The issues of communication, lack of

face-to-face contact, scheduling, trust, and lack of physical contact were understandable given

the distance between partners. Perhaps couples in LDRs feel as if they are single and envy

proximal couples because they do not have enough reminders of their commitment to their

partner. In a future study, researchers could explore how reminders such as photos and jewelry

help partners get through day-to-day feelings of loneliness and envy.

(Eva)

To have a healthy relationship couples need to maintain a strong bond. We did not expect

for couples to survey each other’s social networking sites, and in result long distant couple’s

were more likely to become jealous. Although couples did not have face-to-face interaction they

did become successful in communicating in other ways, such as using Facebook to tag a loved


one in a popular post, or being on Snapchat to send humorous pictures to each other. We also

expected for couples to be negative about their long distant relationships, but throughout the

survey’s feedback participants were overall positive about their experience. Respondents stated

that trusting a partner is a major part of a relationship, besides communication. We were not

expecting for respondents to be positive about their experiences with LDRs. What we expected

was for more negative feedback about difficulties and that the partners did not see each other. In

the future, researchers hope with the results they have from the survey that it will help a couple

who is in a LDR.

(Aliyah)

After studying LDRs I have come to the conclusion that LDRs are very popular

with college students. This is probably due to the fact that a lot of students go away for college.

Being in college I know at least two people including myself who are or have been in a LDR,

and this research study really open my eyes into why certain things pan out in LDRs. According

to the open ended questions skype and facetime were very popular among the respondents.

Facetime and skype allows you to at least see your partner which ultimately keeps the

relationship stimulating and allows the couple remain engaged even with the distance. I

personally wasn’t surprised by this finding because facetime and skype is very popular form of

communication not only used in LDRRs but in LDRs amongst friends. Therefore, it wasn’t a

surprise that facetime and skype are heavily used but it was more of a confirmation of an idea I

already had in mind due to personal experience.

(Eboni)


Long distance romantic relationships are commonly being seen among college students.

Some looking towards a future out of them. In order, for that partner's to succeed a successful

relationship, good communication skills have to be established. Based upon the research the

people use several different forms to communicate with each other. Constant communication

allows couples to appreciate their relationship and significant other. Those within a relationship

believe the advantage of being in a LDRs gives the couple their separate independence.

Additionally, participants answered an advantage was also staying focusing. Since this survey

was targeted for college student, they explained it easier to focus on their academic being away

from their partner. The separation eliminates any possible distractions. Although, very little

believed trust is an advantage. Expect, participants answered they do trust their partners even if

were suspicious of cheating. As communications continues to grow in a LDRs so will the bond

between them

From the survey, majority of participants agreed their LDRs are positively affecting their

lives. As for, their bond and growth with their partners having significantly increased.

Communication in a LDR is a main component to a healthy successful relationship.

Communication enables couples to discuss what their intentions are for the future of the

relationship. Not to mention, how this LDR benefits both partners long term. In the book

Interpersonal Communications Relating to Others , defines a LDR as an example of the social

exchange theory. The social exchange theory analyzes the survival of a LDR. Social exchange

consist of two components cost and reward. The rewards is whether or not the relationship is

worth being apart from one’s partner for an extensive amount. In which, the cost is each partner

giving up their dependence on face to face and physical contact with their partner on a daily


bases. Those who are committed to a LDR have acknowledged the cost of the long-term

investment, and later will seek the reward.


References Beebe, S., Beebe, S., & Redmond, M. (2017). Understanding Internpersonal Relationships. In

Internpersonal Communication Relating to Others (p. 275). Pearson.

Bejerano, A., & Church, S. (2009). An Analysis of Communication and How Individuals in

Long Distance Romantic Relationships Manage Dialectical Tensions. Conference

Papers -- National Communication Association, 1.

Billedo, C. J., Kerkhof, P., & Finkenauer, C. (2015). The use of social networking sites for

relationship maintenance in long-distance and geographically close romantic

relationships. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, And Social Networking, 18(3), 152-157.

Firmin, M. W., Firmin, R. L., & Merical, K. L. (2013). Extended communication efforts

involved with college long-distance relationships. Contemporary Issues In Education

Research, 6(1), 97-110.

Jimenez, F. V., & Asendorpf, J. B. (2010). Shared everyday decisions and constructive

communication: Protective factors in long-distance romantic relationships. Interpersona,

4(2), 157-182.

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Running head: COMMUNICATION IN LONG …...COMMUNICATION IN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS 3 Literature Review (Eboni) Bejerano, A., & Church, S. (2009). An Analysis of Communication and