Roland's Quest

8/9/2019 Roland's Quest

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Rolands QuestE. P. Arundel


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But there is one other, is there not? the old Oracle asked his assistant

Baxter.

No, your eminence, these are all of the candidates,Baxter replied,

believing the lie.

But the Oracle knew that there was one other. Baxter had presented the

Oracle with many candidates, but none of them were quite right. None of them

would pass the final test. The Oracle raised one eyebrow in question, and Baxter

shrugged.

The Deodar claims the position, but we both know that he can not...

The Oracle smiled as he interrupted. I will see him.

***

Roland was surprised to see the message from the Oracles assistant on

his terminal. He printed out a hard copy and asked two of his fathers clerks to

verify it. The clerks both confirmed that the message originated from Baxters

personal terminal. While Roland was surprised, he still got down to the temple

as fast as he could.

Baxter sort of grunted when he saw Roland even as he made the proper

sort of bow that Roland deserved as the son of the king. Roland bowed slightly

in return and let Baxter show him into the Oracles presence.

The Oracle was an old man. When he was much younger he would have

stood to honor the presence of the Deodar as was proper and right, but when

Roland entered the Oracle remained hunched over in his chair. The Oracle

looked ill, but the Oracle looked ill most of the time now. Roland bowed

properly, and he would have remained standing except that the Oracle offered

him a seat.

I hear that you have been making quite the nuisance of yourself, young

Deodar, the Oracle said.

I only wish for what is my birthright, Roland said calmly, quietly. There

was no arrogance in the statement.

Ah, you believe yourself to be my successor, the Oracle said. What


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makes you so sure?

Roland did not have an answer for that. How could he explain what he

had always just known?

It had started when he was a small child. Roland sensed things, knew

things that he should not have known. He knew when his mother tripped and

fell down a flight of stairs; Roland had called the medical team from his personal

terminal not more than a minute after it happened. When he had a major report

to finish for his history tutor, Roland printed out a copy of his work just seconds

before the royal palaces entire computer system crashed. On his fathers last

birthday, Roland found a small trinket, and the king said that he had had one

just like that when he was Rolands age, but had lost it years ago.

These sorts of things should have scared Roland, but Roland had become

accustomed to them and they no longer shocked him. So, when Roland heard

that the old Oracle was dying, he just knewthat it was to the temple that he

belonged. He said none of this, but the Oracle still saw the answer in Rolands

manner.

The Oracle nodded, and waited. It was Rolands turn to speak, so Roland

said what he had come to say.

I have tried to do as my father asks. I have followed all the precepts of

my position. I have studied with the priests and I have completed all of my

lessons, but no matter what I do nothing works as its supposed to. Father has

consulted learned scholars as well as the most talented of the priests, and no

one has been able to tell him why I can not pass through the Hall of Honor.

I know why. I belong to the temple. The priests wont teach me the

lessons of the priesthood nor would they even do the proper tests to find my

proper place. I know that I must undergo these, for I am sure that they will

prove that I belong here, and hopefully I will prove worthy enough to succeed

your eminent position when the time comes.

And what of your rank? the Oracle asked. What of the position to

which you were born?


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I am not the rightful Deodar, Roland replied.

You are the second born, to be sure, but you are the eldest living, the

Oracle said. Even if your honored father and mother had had another child, you

would still be the one in line for the throne and crown.

Am I the eldest living? Roland asked. Catherine is only presumed dead.

There is no proof that she did die.

The statement was so unthinkable as to bring a gasp from the Oracle.

The Overseers make no mistakes, Roland continued, so why can I not

complete the tasks that the Deodar must complete before his ascension? Why

do I know that my place is here and not as the successor to my father? I have

tried, oh I have dutifully tried, to do that which I was asked, but I could not.

There is only one reason that makes any sense. Catherine must be alive.

The shock was so great that the Oracle perked up and looked more

animated than he had in a long time.

Where would she have gone? How would she have lived? If not me,

then shouldnt one of the seers have seen such a thing? the Oracle asked.

At this the Oracles assistant Baxter came into the room. He gave Roland

a nasty look for he did not like seeing his master this upset. Baxter would have

been able to shoo Roland out of the room had not the Oracle then regained his

composure.

No, Baxter, his highness must stay. We have much to discuss, the

Oracle said.

The Oracle and Roland talked for a long time. They discussed Catherine.

Catherine was Rolands elder sister even though Roland had never met

her. Before Roland was born, before Rolands mother had even met the king,

the king had another family. Catherine was the bright, beautiful baby that every

parent wished for, and the entire kingdom was overjoyed at her birth. Catherine

underwent all the usual rituals for the new Deodar, and the priests all proclaimed

her the hope of the future. And life was good for a while.

But then one day Catherine was kidnapped. The kidnappers asked for a


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ransom, the kings guards got involved, and the ransom never made it to the

kidnappers. The kidnappers said that they had killed the baby as punishment for

the kings arrogance in trying to outwit the kidnappers, and they were never

heard from again.

This was all too much for the queen to take, and she called in seers and

priests, and she even consulted with the Oracle. None of them could offer her

any hope. The queen was devastated, and she lived the rest of her lifewhat

there was of itin sadness and misery. She did not outlive her daughter by

more than five years.

Eventually, the king remarried, and he and his new wife had a son. While

the kingdom once again celebrated the birth, this time the celebration was

tempered with a touch of sadness. Catherine was still remembered.

I should have seen such a thing, the Oracle said. I would have known

if she had survived.

Roland had heard such things all of his life. Every priest said the same

thing. If Catherine were still alive, the signs would be there. If Catherine were

still alive, then they would have found her years ago. But Roland couldnt be so

sure.

Perhaps this was her path, Roland said. Many people have said that

the palace is too insulated, that we do not understand what the ordinary folk

have to deal with. Maybe it is Catherines quest to bring more relevance to the

monarchy.

And so the Overseers would have kept her continued existence from all

of us, the Oracle finished. I suppose its possible. I do not understand the

ways of the Overseers.

None of us can know Gods plans, Roland quoted, except for those

that Oversee them.

***

Roland began the rigorous tests that would determine if he was truly

meant for the priesthood and if he was the rightful successor to the Oracle.


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Roland was the only one who expected the tests to go as they did. He breezed

through them easily, as if the Overseers couldnt understand why the priests

were bothering with the formality. But there was one test that Roland hadnt

passed yet, and that was going to be the hardest of them all.

The Oracle called Roland in to see him. Roland knelt down as was proper

for a novitiate to the priesthood and waited patiently for the Oracle to speak.

Your father has been by to see me, and he is not pleased, the Oracle

said.

Roland had had a similar discussion with his father, and Roland felt that

not pleased was probably the best euphemism that the Oracle could come up

with.

So, while I do agree that you do belong to the temple, the Oracle

continued, something is going to have to be done. It is time for you to go on

your quest, and I know just what that quest should be.

A quest! Roland was thrilled, though he maintained his obedient kneeling

posture and tried to betray no excitement. If he was to go on a quest that

meant that the Oracle intended him for the priesthood.

You must find your sister, the Oracle said.

Roland was not surprised. He had expected as much. If he was going to

leave his fathers house, then he was going to have to make sure that someone

filled the position of Deodar, and he was sure that the Overseers had intended

that all along. But Roland had no idea where to begin.

The Oracle called for his assistant, said something to him that Roland

could not hear, and then he turned back to Roland.

You will need help onyour quest, the Oracle said. Agnes is a very

smart girl. She inherited her mothers looks and her grandmothers brains.

Before the Oracle could say more, Agnes joined them.

Good morning, Grandfather, Agnes said with a formal bow.

The Oracle explained to Agnes that her help would be needed if Roland

was to complete his quest. Agnes, though surprised to be asked, was happy to


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be of any assistance that she could render. The two of them got right to work,

but there was one thing that Agnes needed to know.

What is this quest that youre on? Agnes asked Roland once they had

left the Oracles presence.

Roland explained.

But shes dead. Everybody knows that Princess Catherine is dead,

Agnes protested. Are we looking for her body or where shes buried?

She is not dead. She cant be dead, Roland said. She is the rightful

Deodar.

Roland expected Agnes to protest more, but she nodded. She seemed to

take the information, process it, and accept it readily.

Where do we begin? Agnes asked.

Ah, that is a good question.

***

What kind of life has she had, assuming that she is still living? Agnes

asked. Raised by her kidnappers? I wonder if she has any sort of mind left.

She does, Roland said. I suspect that shes probably very normal and

well-adjusted. If she were crazy or otherwise damaged in some way, then the

Overseers wouldnt have chosen me to succeed your grandfather. I would be

needed at the palace, to be Deodar.

But then how could the Overseers allow her kidnapping in the first

place? Agnes asked.

The Overseers had nothing to do with that, Roland said. They can not

control the actions of men.

But they are supposed to be all powerful, Agnes protested.

Men act according to their own desires and wishes, Roland explained.

If the Overseers were to make men do as the Overseers wish, then the men

would no longer be in control of their own actions, and then what would be the

point of that?

Agnes shook her head. She did not understand, but Roland knew that he


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could not explain it to her. Agnes would have to figure it out on her own when

she was ready.

However, Agnes did know where to begin their search.

If she is normal and has had a normal sort of life, then she should be

easy to find, Agnes said. Do we assume that shes had public schooling?

Yes, Roland replied before he had had a chance to think. Once his

intuition faded, he began to logic out why assuming that his sister had a public

education was the right way to go. He frequently did this--got an answer using

his psychic powers, then found a way to explain why his answer was correct.

Once he had an idea, he began to speak and let his higher consciousness use his

voice.

If Catherine is still whole and sane, and we have to assume she is, then

her kidnappers couldnt have locked her in a room for twenty years, Roland

said. And if she was out in the world, then her kidnappers would have wanted

her to have an education, but I doubt that they would have had the resources to

educate her themselves. So, she must have graduated...When?

With a place to start, Agnes showed just why the Oracle chose her to help

Roland with his quest. Roland put his fathers clerks to work accessing all the

records that they would need, but Roland and Agnes actually went through the

data, and there was a lot of it. Roland had a general idea of what his sister

should be like, but his ideas were too general, and many girls fit that description

just in the local area. They needed something more to break down the search.

It took several days, but eventually Agnes came up with another idea.

Dont the authorities need some sort of proof of birth before they allow a

child into school? Agnes asked.

Roland didnt know. He had lived a more sheltered sort of life.

Perhaps Catherine has adoption papers, Agnes said.

Roland was about to retort that the sort that turns to kidnapping wouldnt

have any trouble forging documents when his intuition told him to agree with

Agnes. Catherine had been adopted.


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That is a rather odd thought, Roland said instead. What made you

think of it?

I dont know, Agnes replied. It just popped into my head.

But looking for adoptions proved to be too big a task as well. When

would Catherine have been adopted? Was she adopted right after the botched

ransom or later than that? What name would they have used? There were too

many variables.

After weeks of sitting in front of different computer terminals and going

through all the records that Roland could get, and since Roland was Deodar, he

could get all of them, Roland was discouraged. There had to be something else.

There had to be something that they were missing. He went to see the Oracle.

Roland explained his problem.

If it were an easy task, then it wouldnt be a quest, the Oracle said.

Im just beginning to think it impossible, Roland replied, disheartened.

I find that when attacking a problem and finding no solution, it is best to

take a step back and let the solution find you, the Oracle said.

Roland wasnt sure what that meant, but it sounded like good advice. He

just wasnt sure how he was going to let Catherine find him. She wasnt even

looking.

Roland needed time to think. He told Agnes not to come by the next day,

and the day after that he sent word for her not to come again. Roland had other

duties to attend to, and he concentrated on those. His mother was glad to have

him back.

I need for you to make an appearance at the flower show, the queen

told Roland. The ladies think that youve found yourself a romance, since

youve not been around lately. You havent, have you?

Whenever Roland tried to discuss his calling, both his parents tended to

try to talk him out of it, so Roland deflected the question.

Ive been working on a project of my own. For my ascension ceremony,

Roland lied.


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The queen seemed pleased. She asked him no more questions for which

Roland was grateful. While Roland generally hated lying, he found that this

particular lie didnt bother him at all.

Later that evening when Roland was checking his terminal, and he had

been neglecting this task lately so there were many messages he needed to

reply to, Roland found a message from Agnes. She wrote to ask if Roland was

giving up the search. Roland had to look back through his appointment book

before he understood why Agnes would be pestering him. It had been many

days since he had even worked on his quest. And the message from Agnes was

two days old.

Roland still had no idea how to proceed, and a solution had not found

him. He didnt want to ignore Agnes though for she had been a big help, so he

sent back word for Agnes to meet him at the flower show. He would be doing

what his mother wanted, and he would be checking in with Agnes. He made

sure that his staff added her to the admit list, and then he went to bed.

As soon as Roland arrived at the flower show, Agnes accosted him.

Are you abandoning the search? Agnes asked.

I am stuck, Roland admitted. Unless you have a new direction...

Agnes shook her head no. She was as stumped as the Deodar. Roland

was feeling really low, but he couldnt show it, not in front of all of society and

the court. Roland explained that he was on duty, and Agnes replied that

maybe they just needed to get their minds off of the search.

It turned out that Agnes knew quite a lot about the different plants on

display, and she was an excellent tour guide. Roland began to understand why

the Oracle placed so much trust in his granddaughtershe seemed to know

something about almost everything. Roland tried to pay attention to Agnes, but

his mind was still on his missing sister. There had to be something that he was

missing...

And then Rolands attention was pulled away from Agnes, to a movement

behind him. He turned. It was just a woman enjoying the showan ordinary


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sort of woman, but Roland feltit. It was herhis sister.

Agnes read the expression on Rolands face, and she turned to look where

he was looking.

Shes not that pretty, Agnes said.

Roland ignored Agnes and turned to one in his entouragea secretary of

some sort. He pointed out the woman and told him to find out everything he

could about her. The secretary nodded and left on his errand. Agnes watched

this with interest but didnt say anything until the secretary was out of earshot.

What was that all about? Agnes asked.

Thats my sister, Roland said.

No, Agnes said, but more with awe than with denial. How do you

know?

Cant say for sure. I just do, Roland replied.

Roland knew that before he talked to Catherine, he had to prove his

psychic intuition. The secretary would gather all the information that Roland

would need. And Roland knew now that it would all fall into place.

By the end of the day the secretary met Roland at the palace and told

Roland Catherines life story. She wasnt using the name Catherine, though.

Rolands secretary said that her name was Daisy. But that would make sense,

he thought. If she knew that she was Catherine, then she wouldnt be attending

the flower show. And the rest of the details fit about what Roland had sensed.

Catherineor rather Daisy had been orphaned when her parents had

died in a freak accident involving lightning and some sort of farm equipment.

Daisy had been about three years old when this happened, and she was quickly

adopted by a couple in the area. Then the secretary gave Roland all the usual

sorts of informationdates of important events like graduations, a description of

what Daisy did for a living, and the general information that Daisy was well l iked

by her friends and colleagues.

Now the trick was going to be proving that this woman was Catherine,

and Roland wasnt quite sure how to go about it. The dates all fit for what


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Catherine would have done, but that wasnt proof. There had to be something

that would definitively prove that this Daisy was in fact Catherine.

The next day Roland related the whole story to Agnes when they met

back at the palace. Agnes wasnt convinced. She questioned everything.

Roland understood her skepticism, but there wasnt a lot he could do to change

her mind. But then Agnes concentration wandered, and Roland followed her

gaze.

Who is that? Agnes asked.

Agnes was looking at a portrait on the wall. It was a portrait that had

been hanging there for as long as Roland could remember, and as such he

barely noticed it anymore. He saw what it was that he saw in the woman at the

flower show. There was something around the eyes. And the shape of the

mouth and how the nose pointed just so. Roland nodded at Agnes.

Thats my fathers first wife, Roland said.

Agnes no longer had anything to say against Daisys being Catherine.

The question now became just how to approach her.

***

Roland and Agnes left the question of how to approach Daisy/Catherine

for the time. There were duties that Agnes needed to attend to at the temple,

and Roland found that he was once again called upon to act as Deodar. The

king cornered his son and made it clear that they had to talk.

I have been hearing some strange rumors, son, the king began.

Since when do you pay attention to rumors, Father? Roland asked.

One must always pay attention to rumors, the king said. Even if they

turn out to be untrue, they contain insight into what people are thinking, and

they usually must be addressed. Dont you wonder what these strange rumors

are?

Roland could just imagine. He said something about being too busy to

worry about such things, but the king just ignored this.

You have been seen around the temple a lot lately, the king said. And


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you have been asking interesting questionsquestions that the staff around here

hasnt anticipated and cant quite figure out.

Clearly the king had a prepared speech, so Roland just waited. It would

do no good to argue or explain until his father had finished what he planned to

say.

You have been seen around town with the Oracles granddaughter which

is not necessarily something that I would disapprove of, but you dont seem to

be courting her. What are you up to?

Roland again waited. The king often answered his own questions,

continuing to speak until he had exhausted a topic, but this time the king waited.

Did he really want to know what Roland was up to? He had to have formed

some sort of hypothesis, but as the silence lengthened, Roland realized that he

was expected to reply.

What do you think Im up to, Father? Roland asked.

If I knew that, I wouldnt be asking.

Roland realized that the Overseers had now presented him with a solution

of sorts. It was time to bring the king in on the quest, and perhaps the king

would know what Roland should do next. Roland felt that it was right, but he

still chose his words carefully.

I have been on a quest, Roland said.I have been looking for

Catherine.

Catherine is dead, the king said quietly, simply.

I dont think so. I think I found her, Roland said. I just dont have the

proof.

This completely blindsided the king, and it took some moments before he

could reply. When he did speak, it was in a whisper, Where?

Roland told his father everything that he had found out.

***

When the king returned to the palace later that night, he found his second

wife and his son sitting, waiting. The queen set down the menus that she had


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been working on to pass the time, and she looked to her husband kindly. She

did not speak. Her eyes asked the question.

I think so, the king said. And then he turned and walked out of the

room towards his bedroom. The queen followed.

***

At least thats the story that Roland told me, but later, of course. I was

busy with my own problems at the time and I wasnt paying much attention to

what the royal family was up to. My oldest friend Aaron and I were in the

process of opening a small nursery/garden shop.

Aaron knew everything that there was to know about plants, and I liked

dealing with the business end of things. I had procured financing and found a

suitable site while Aaron had the contacts to get all the product that we would

need. Now all we needed was an auspicious day to open the shop.

It took several tries before we were able to make an appointment with a

priest, but we finally got a message through and back, and so on the appointed

day we made our way down to the Oracles temple. Aaron had heard good

things about this priest, so we hoped for the best. We made sure that we were

early, and the priest was right on time. He showed us into his office.

It was a smallish office outfitted in the usual way. Aaron and I took a

seat on the opposite side of the priests desk, and the priest smiled

authoritatively at us.

What can I do for you today? he asked.

Aaron explained our business venture as the priest nodded sagely.

Yes, this is a particularly good time to be working with the outdoors, he

said. There will be many good days to open, but let me find the best one for

you. I will need some information.

As Aaron gave the priest his information, the priest entered it all into his

terminal. Then it was my turn, and we ran into some difficulties.

I dont know my exact date of birth, I said.

How can this be so? the priest asked.


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It was so rare that I had to explain my situation that I stumbled a bit over

the explanation.

I dont actually have a birth certificate, and for some reason my

information was never properly entered into the central database, I said. My

parents apparently were a little wary of...

Aaron interrupted, You can say it. They were paranoid.

We dont know that for sure, I said. Then I turned back to the priest,

But Aarons probably right. They didnt leave much behind when they died.

I then explained how the orphanage had approximated my date of birth,

and that while it was good for most things, for the sort of calculation that the

priest was to perform, I knew that the approximation wouldnt be good enough.

Hmmm, the priest said while he stared out just beyond Aaron and me.

I think I can come up with a compromise. It wont be as good a date as it could

have been, but I think itll do. Tell me thenthe date that you were adopted.

The priest paused then, looked at his terminal, noted something on it and

hmmmed. Then he looked back up at me.

Yes, we can call that your birth into the life you have now. But Ill need

something else.

Again the priest looked to his terminal, and then he pulled out a sheet of

paper and a pencil. He made some scratches. Then he looked back and Aaron

and me and spoke again.

And the date that the two of you metan approximate date will do. Yep,

that should be enough.

Those dates I had, and the priest entered them into his terminal. Within

seconds the priest had an answer.

Isnt this interesting, he said more to himself than to us. We waited

with the question apparent on our faces, but he didnt notice us for some time.

Oh, Im sorry, he finally realized that we were still there. Daisy, your

personal chart is quite a mess. Your influence on the shop, or rather your lack of

influence on the shop is quite pronounced. It is all very strange. There is


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something that is not quite right about all of this. You are not supposed to be

here.

The priest said it all very kindly with no malice at all, but I still felt as if I

had been slapped. Where was I supposed to be, then? I was frightened and I

wasnt processing much at all in my mind. Aaron had put his arm around me,

but I barely noticed.

I don't mean that you are supposed to be dead, the priest said gently.

I just mean that you have been taken from your rightful path, and that the

Overseers are trying to guide you back. That will all happen in the Overseers

time. For now you both want to open this shop.

I will give you a two dates. They are very fortuitous for you, Aaron.

Daisy, I do not see you in this partnership for long, but for as long as you are,

the shop should be lucky for you as well.

Then the priest gave us the dates that we had come for. I barely even

noted them, and then we left. I couldnt get what the priest had said out of my

mind. I didnt belong here? Priests did not say such things. At least, priests

were not supposed to say such things. Priests were supposed to be encouraging

and supportive.

I could not get my head around the priests words for a couple days, and

then frankly I just decided to ignore them. Then once I was thinking again

about our shop, I looked at the dates that the priest had given us. One was a bit

too close to get the store up and ready, but the other looked to be about right.

It was several days further away than I would have strictly liked, but the one

thing I knew about having a successful business was that luck always helped.

Because we had a bit extra time, we had time to attend the annual flower

show. Aaron looked forward to it all year, and he was very happy that we were

going to be able to go. We dressed in our best fineryroyalty always attended

these thingsand we made sure to get there early.

At least I enjoyed myself. I caught a glimpse of the Deodar, but neither

the king nor the queen attended this year. Aaron made some good contacts and


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Deodar. I was so shocked by the sight that I almost didnt give the proper

obeisances, but a movement from the priest who had directed mehe backed

out of the room and closed the doorawoke me from my trance. Luckily, I

didnt have to begin the conversation.

Thank you for coming, Prince Roland said as he came forward to meet

me. He was a young man, not out of his teens, and he was a round sort of

individual. By that I mean that he was not thin. He carried his frame well, and

he dressed in the smartest and richest styles, so he did not appear sloppy or

slovenly.

I replied with something that sounded appropriate, and I prayed fervently

to the Overseers that I didnt make any major blunders. I waited for the Oracle

to jump in and say something, and then I had a thought, quickly suppressed,

wondering why the Oracle and the Deodar were both in the same room. But

then my mind flashed to why was I here, and my mind started racing. Luckily,

Prince Roland still had something to say.

Um, yes, well, I wonder. How much do you remember about your

parents of birth? the prince asked.

The question startled me. Most people did not know about my adoption,

but I reasoned that the prince would have access to information that most

people didnt. I still thought it an odd question, so odd that I couldnt come up

with a response right away. I stood dumb for a moment before I forced myself

to speak.

I have flashes of memory, I said. Odd bits of feelings and smellsa

few sounds. Most of what I know was told to me later. They were farmers.

That last bit was idiotic. The Deodar would know that they were farmers

if he knew that I was adopted. I stopped talking before I said anything even

more stupid.

Yes, well, the prince started, but stopped. He said something else to

which I said, Beg your pardon, your highness, would you repeat that? but the

prince would not. It sounded like he said, This is much harder than I thought,


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but that couldnt have been what he said, and I dismissed the thought. Prince

Roland tried again.

Perhaps I should just say it, the prince said, but he looked like he was

directing his comment to the Oracle. The Oracle nodded, and I received a quick

but kindly glance from the old man.

I dont think that they were your actual parents, Prince Roland said. I

believe that they kidnapped you.

I wasnt sure if I was supposed to respond. I didnt.

I believe that you are actually Princess Catherine, Prince Roland said.

***

I left Aaron a message saying that I had to get away for a while. I

couldnt tell him why. I couldnt say it out loud. I needed to go home, and

Aaron was just going to have to understand.

I packed a small bag and caught the first transport heading out of the

city. It was going in the wrong direction, but I didnt care, and the trip ended up

taking me twice as long. I barely noticed. My mind was racing.

It couldnt be true, I thought. I thought about the doctors and the tests

that Prince Roland had insisted upon. Those would prove I wasnt, right? It was

all a mistake. It had to be a mistake.

I got back to my childhood home well after dark, but luckily my parents

were home. I couldnt explain why I was there. All I could do was say that I

just had to come and could I please stay?

For the next two days I sat in my room and thought. I found all my old

things. I looked through boxes of school detritus and I remembered. I

remembered my life. It was a life that I thought I understood, I thought I knew

what I was about. I tried to put my experience in some sort of order with what

my life had actually been, and I couldnt do it. I couldnt reconcile the two ideas.

My mother was very kind and she didnt pry. She brought me food at

appropriate moments, and she gave me kindly looks. Finally, when she came

back to retrieve some dishes, I stopped her.


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Mom, what do youremember of my parents of birth? I asked.

Well, um, she began, I never met them. They kept to themselves

mostly, and not too many of their coworkers even knew their names. I have told

you all this.

I know, I said. I thought that perhaps you knew something else,

something that maybe I was too young to know or understand.

If you would tell me what this is about my mother began, but I shook

my head, so she continued on, we never kept anything from you. There wasnt

a whole lot to tell, so we told you everything.

I thanked her, and she left. I went to the rooms terminal and turned it

on. I tried calling up records of my... What do I call them? My kidnappers?

How could I be sure who they were?

I couldnt bring myself to think about it, so instead I called up another set

of files, and I read through them. I dont know how long I was at it, but I dont

think it was too long when my mother knocked on the door again. I told her to

come in.

My mother was carrying a good sized box. She told me, This is

everything that came from your house, with you, when you came to us.

Then my mother saw my terminal screen. She gasped and dropped the

box. I turned, looked back, and saw the picture.

Is there a resemblance? I asked. I cant be sure.

My mother looked back to me and then back to the picture of the late

queen. She looked strange. The eyes that she turned back on me were the

eyes of a stranger and not my mother.

What has happened? she asked.

I finally found the words. I told her everything.

***

When I finished talking, my mother just looked at me for a long while. I

had expected her to have something to say. I hoped for comfort or at least

thinking that was clearer than mine. When I could stand the silence no longer, I


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spoke.

But Prince Roland is wrong. He has to be wrong, I said.

Hes right, my mother said. The surety in her voice startled me. There

was no doubt.

How can you be so sure? I asked. There were other things I wanted to

say, other protests I wanted to make, but my mother moved first.

Look at it, she said. She swiveled the screen on my terminal to match

my eye level. I did as she bid, but I didnt see anything that I hadnt seen

before. It was just an old picture of a dead queen.

What has that gotto do with anything? I asked.

You look exactly like her, Mom said.

I do not, I replied. If I looked so much like her, then why didnt you

notice until now?

I did not say it with anger. At least, I did not intend to use anger, but my

mother looked taken aback. She looked as if I had slapped her. For a long

moment she sat there, and I tried to find the words to tell her that I didnt mean

it like that. I needed her to see that I was no royal. We both tried to speak at

the same time.

I mean that... I said.

I cant believe... she said.

We both laughed.

Im sorry, I said.

I know, she said. Im sorry too. I should have seen it.

Why? I asked. Its not like you thought you had a princess in the

house.

Mom looked like she was about to cry. I should have seen it, she

repeated.

Mom looked back at the terminals screen. I remembered the day of the

queens death. Mom had been horrified. She dressed in black for weeks, and

we were the only house in the neighborhood to place the black wreath on the


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door. Mom had held a wake for the neighborhood and everyone came. It was

strange. It was like a family member had died, even though Mom and the queen

had been no relation. But Mom was devastated.

Everyone thought the princess, I mean, I was dead, I said. You

couldnt be expected to look for a dead girl.

I wanted to bring Mom out of it. I wanted her to smile, to not cry, but my

words did not help. I changed the subject and we talked of other things.

***

I dont know how long I slept. I went to bed early, and I slept and slept

and slept on. I didnt realize that I could be that tired. It was nice to be back in

my old bed.

No one was home when I got up. I made myself something to eat, and

then I went out to walk the streets that I knew so well. I ran into some old

friends, and we did the usual what are you up to stuff, and then Id walk on.

When I got back to the house my mother was still gone, and so to pass the time

I went on the terminal to check my messages.

I had a message from Aaron asking me when I was planning on coming

back plus some other choice words about my absence. I deleted the message

without sending a reply. There were a couple other messages from friends

asking the usual sorts of thingswas I going to an event, would I be available to

help set up for a party, etc. And then I saw a couple messages from someone I

hadnt expected to get messages from. I opened the first one sent.

An image of Prince Roland came onto the screen and he said, Where are

you? That was it.

The next message was dated as having been sent this day, and it took me

a moment before I could open it. Again, the message was short.

***

I sat and stared at the blank terminal when the message had finished. I

heard someone behind me, but I did not turn. I knew that it was my mother.

She placed a hand on my shoulder.


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You have to go back, she said.

I know, I replied.

Yes, I did know, but I didnt know. I didnt know what to do. I didnt

know how to behave like a princess.

Theyll teach you all that, my mother said after I had told her my fears.

Do you think theyll like me? I asked.

Who?

Everybody.

My mother smiled. She told me that she was sure that everyone would

love me, but she said it in that mother tone that we all learn to ignore. Of

course our mothers think that. We wonder if anyone else will.

What am I going to tell Aaron? I asked.

I didnt really expect an answer. My mind had wandered, and I thought

of that business that we had started, and I felt a little guilty. I was going to

have to abandon him.

I think hell be happy enough to have a princess for a friend, my mother

said. That should compensate for any trouble youve put him to.

I dont know about that.

Oh, I do.

***

Prince Rolands last message had been rather urgent, and I found that I

could not longer remain with my parents. I was still going to call them my

parents no matter what. I couldnt think of them as anything other than that. I

repacked my bag, and I got on the first transport going in the right direction this

time. I was back in town within the day.

Prince Roland met me at the station. I hadnt replied to any of his

messages, so I was rather surprised to have someone to greet me. However, I

didnt know what to say to him. I just stared at him as he stared at me. One of

the people with the prince came over and took my bag from me and walked

away. There was nothing else to do but follow, and thats what both the prince


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and I did.

***

I didnt know what I had expected. I guess I hadnt been thinking about

it too much, so I was surprised when Prince Roland and his group took me back

to the royal palace. I didnt want to do this, but I didnt say anything. I could

feel my stomach going flippity-flop, and it was getting difficult to breathe.

Once at the palace I was led into a grand sort of room--the sort of room I

expected to find in a royal palaceand everyone except Prince Roland left. I

looked at the prince, and then I finally found my voice.

What now?

Prince Roland didnt have time to answer. A door on the other side of the

room opened, and in walked the king. I watched as he got to our position, and

it wasnt until the prince nudged me that I realized that I was holding my breath.

I wasnt sure what to do, whether to bow or nod or what. It turned out I

didnt have to worry, for as soon as the king reached me he pulled me into a

hug. It was then that I noticed that he was crying. And so was I. I felt itI

was home.

Documents

Roland's Quest