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8/6/2019 Robert W Bly - World's Best-Kept Copywriting Secrets
1/51
WORLDSBEST -KEPT
COPYWRITINGSECRETS
by Robert W. Bly
22 East Quackenbush Avenue, 3rd Floor, Dumont, NJ 07628
(201) 385-1220, Fax (201) 385-1138
e-mail: [email protected], web: www.bly.com
Special Report $29.00
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TableofContents
Section1 HowtoPrepareforaCopywritingAssignment ............. 3
Section2 TheFundamentalsofPersuasiveWriting ......................... 6
Section3 FeaturesbeforeBenefits ..................................................... 23
Section4 HowtoWriteaGoodAdvertisement .............................. 28
Section5 TheMagicofFalseLogic..................................................... 35
Section6 HowtoWriteSubjectLinesThatGetYour
EmailOpenedandRead .................................................. 38
Section7 ReachYourProspectsonaDeeperLevel:
TheBFDFormulaforUncoveringYourCustomers
CoreBuyingComplex ........................................................ 40
Section8 TipsonUsingTestimonials .............................................. 44
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Section1
HowtoPrepareforaCopywritingAssignment
Businesstobusinesscopypersuadesreadersbygivingthemuseful
informationabouttheproductsbeingadvertised. Themorefactsyouincludein
yourcopy,thebetter.
Whenyouhaveafilefulloffactsatyourfingertips,writinggoodcopyiseasy.
Yousimplyselectthemostrelevantfactsanddescribetheminaclear,concise,
directfashion.
Butwhencopywritersdontbothertodigforfacts,theyfallbackonfancy
phrasesandpuffedupexpressionstofilltheemptyspaceonthepage. Thewords
soundnice,buttheydontsellbecausethecopydoesntinform.
HeresafourstepprocedureIusetogettheinformationIneedtowrite
persuasive,factfilledcopyformyclients. Thistechniqueshouldbehelpfulto
copywriters,accountexecutives,andadmanagersalike.
Step#1:Getallpreviouslypublishedmaterialontheproduct.
Foranexistingproduct,theresamountainofliteratureyoucansendtothe
copywriterasbackgroundinformation. Thismaterialincludes:
Tearsheetsofpreviousads Brochures Catalogs
Article
reprints
Technicalpapers Copiesofspeeches Audiovisualscripts Presskits
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SwipefilesofcompetitorsadsandliteratureDidIhearsomeonesaytheycantsendmeprintedmaterialbecausetheir
productisnew? Nonsense. Thebirthofeverynewproductisaccompaniedby
moundsofpaperworkyoucangivethecopywriter. Thesepapersinclude:
Internalmemos Lettersoftechnicalinformation Productspecifications Engineeringdrawings Businessandmarketingplans
Reports
ProposalsBystudyingthismaterial,thecopywritershouldhave80percentofthe
informationheneedstowritethecopy. Andhecangettheother20percentby
pickingupthephoneandaskingquestions. Steps#24outlinethequestionshe
shouldaskabouttheproduct,theaudience,andtheobjectiveofthecopy.
Step#2:Askquestionsabouttheproduct.
Whatareitsfeaturesandbenefits?(Makeacompletelist.) Whichbenefitisthemostimportant? Howistheproductdifferentfromthecompetitions? (Whichfeaturesareexclusive? Whicharebetterthanthecompetitions?)
Iftheproductisntdifferent,whatattributescanbestressedthathaventbeenstressedbythecompetition?
Whattechnologiesdoestheproductcompeteagainst? Whataretheapplicationsoftheproduct? Whatindustriescanusetheproduct? Whatproblemsdoestheproductsolveinthemarketplace? Howistheproductpositionedinthemarketplace?
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Howdoestheproductwork? Howreliableistheproduct? Howefficient? Howeconomical? Whohasboughttheproductandwhatdotheysayaboutit? Whatmaterials,sizesandmodelsisitavailablein? Howquicklydoesthemanufacturerdelivertheproduct? Whatserviceandsupportdoesthemanufactureroffer? Istheproductguaranteed?
Step
#3:
Ask
questions
about
your
audience.
Whowillbuytheproduct?(Whatmarketsisitsoldto?) Whatisthecustomersmainconcern?(Price,delivery,performance,reliability,servicemaintenance,quality,efficiency)
Whatisthecharacterofthebuyer? Whatmotivatesthebuyer? Howmanydifferentbuyinginfluencesmustthecopyappealto?Twotipsongettingtoknowyouraudience:
Ifyouarewritinganad,readissuesofthemagazineinwhichtheadwillappear.
Ifyouarewritingdirectmail,findoutwhatmailinglistswillbeusedandstudythelistdescriptions.
Step#4:Determinetheobjectiveofyourcopy.
Thisobjectivemaybeoneormoreofthefollowing:
Togenerateinquiries Togeneratesales Toanswerinquiries Toqualifyprospects
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Totransmitproductinformation Tobuildbrandrecognitionandpreference Tobuildcompanyimage
Beforeyouwritecopy,studytheproduct itsfeatures,benefits,past
performance,applications,andmarkets. Diggingforthefactswillpayoff,
becauseinbusinesstobusinessadvertising,specificssell.
Section2
The
Fundamentals
of
Persuasive
Writing
Whatarethecharacteristicsthatmakecopyeffective?Whydoesonead
makealastingimpressionandsellmerchandise,whileanotherfallsflatand
doesntgenerateenoughrevenuetopayitsowncost?
Virtuallyallpersuasivecopycontainstheeightelementsdescribedinthisarticle.
Thesuccessfulad:
1. Gainsattention2. Focusesonthecustomer3. Stressesbenefits4. Differentiatesyoufromthecompetition5. Provesitscase6. Establishescredibility7.
Builds
value
8. CloseswithacalltoactionAlladsdonothavealleightcharacteristicsinequalproportions.Depending
ontheproduct,someoftheseelementswillbedominantinyourad;
otherssubordinate.
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Letstaketelephoneserviceasanexample.IfyouareAT&T,MCI,or
Sprint,youhavealongtrackrecordofsuccessandawellestablishedreputation.
Therefore,youwillbenaturallystronginelementsfiveandsix(provingyourcase
andestablishingyourcredibility).
Anewtelephoneservicesprovider,ontheotherhand,doesnothavea
trackrecordorreputation;therefore,thesetwoelementswillnotbethedominant
themesinthecopy.Instead,thestrongestelementmightbenumberthree(benefits
theserviceofferscustomers)orperhapsnumberfour(differentiationinservice
resultingfromsuperiortechnology).
Each
product
or
service
has
natural
strengths
and
weaknesses.
The
strengthsareemphasizedandtheweaknessesdeemphasized.Butalleight
elementsmustbepresenttosomedegree,ortheadwontwork.
Herearetheeightelementsofpersuasiondiscussedinabitmoredetail,
withexamplesofhowtoachieveeachinyourcopy.
Element#1:Gainattention.Ifanadfailstogainattention,itfailstotally.Unlessyougaintheprospects
attention,heorshewontreadanyofyourcopy.Andiftheprospectdoesnt
readyourcopy,heorshewontreceivethepersuasivemessageyouveso
carefullycrafted.
Therearenumerouswaystogainattention.Sexcertainlyisoneofthem.
Lookatthenumberofproductsabdominalexercises,healthclubs,cars,Club
Med,clothes,beer,softdrinks,chewinggumthatfeatureattractivebodiesin
theiradsandcommercials.Itmaybesexistorbase,butitworks.
Similarly,youcanusevisualstogetprospectstopayattention.Parents
(andalmosteveryoneelse)areattractedtopicturesofbabiesandyoungchildren.
Puppiesandkittensalsostrikeachordinourhearts.Appealingvisualscanget
youradnoticed.
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Sincesomuchadvertisingisvagueandgeneral,beingspecificinyourcopy
setsitapartfromotheradsandcreatesinterest.Aletterpromotingcollection
servicestodentalpracticesbeginsasfollows:
Howwecollectedover$20millioninunpaidbillsoverthepast2yearsfor
thousandsofdentistsnationwide
DearDentist:
Itstrue.
Inthepast2yearsalone,ICSystemshascollectedmorethan$20millionin
outstandingdebtfordentalpracticesnationwide.
Thats
$20
million
these
dentists
might
not
otherwise
have
seen
if
they
had
nothiredICSystemstocollecttheirpastduebillsforthem.
Whatgainsyourattentionisthespecificfigureof$20milliondollars.Every
collectionagencypromisestocollectmoney.Butsayingthatyouhavegotten$20
millioninresultsisspecific,credible,andmemorable.
Featuringanofferthatisfree,lowinprice,orunusuallyattractiveisalsoan
effectiveattentiongetter.AfullpagenewspaperadfromGuaranteedTermLife
Insuranceannounces,NOW...$1aweekbuysGuaranteedTermLifeInsurance
forNewYorkersover50.Notonlydoesthe$1offerdrawyouin,butthe
headlinealsogainsattentionbytargetingaspecificgroupofbuyers(NewYorkers
over50).
Youknowthatinpublicspeaking,youcangainattentionbyshoutingor
talkingloudly.Thisdirectapproachcanworkincopy,especiallyinretail
advertising.AnadforLord&Taylordepartmentstoreproclaimsinlarge,bold
type:STARTSTODAY...ADDITIONAL40%OFFWINTERFASHIONS.Not
cleverorfancy,butofinteresttoshopperslookingtosavemoney.
Anothermethodofengagingtheprospectsattentionistoaskaprovocative
question.Bits&Pieces,amanagementmagazine,beginsitssubscriptionmailing
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withthisheadline:WhatdoJapanesemanagershavethatAmerican
managerssometimeslack?Dontyouwanttoatleastreadthenextsentence
tofindtheanswer.
Amailingforabookclubhasthisheadlineontheouterenvelope:
WhyistheMcGrawHillChemicalEngineersBookClubgivingaway
practicallyforFREEthisspecial50thAnniversaryEditionofPERRYS
CHEMICALENGINEERSHANDBOOK?
Tochemicalengineers,whoknowthatPerryscostsabout$125percopy,
thefactthatsomeonewouldgiveitawayisindeedacuriosityandengineers,
being
curious
people,
want
to
get
the
answer.
Injectingnewsintocopy,orannouncingsomethingthatisnewor
improved,isalsoaproventechniqueforgettingattention.Amailingoffering
subscriptionstothenewsletterDr.AtkinssHealthRevelationshasthisheadline
onthecover:
HereAreAstonishingNutritionalTherapiesandAlternativeTreatments
YoullNeverHearAboutFromtheMedicalEstablishment,theFDA,Drug
CompaniesorEvenYourDoctor...
3decadesofmedicalresearchbreakthroughsfromtheAtkinsCenterfor
ComplementaryMedicine...revealedatlast!
ThetraditionalMadisonAvenueapproachtocopysubtlewordplayand
clevernessoftenfailstogetattentionbecausemanypeoplereadingtheadeither
dontgetit,oriftheydogetit,theydontthinkitsthatfunny(ortheythinkits
funnybutthatdoesntcompelthemtoreadtheadorbuytheproduct).
AnewspaperadforNewJerseyhospital,promotingitsfacilitiesfortreating
kidneystoneswithoutsurgery(ultrasonicsoundwavesareusedtopainlessly
breakupanddissolvethestone),carriedthisheadline:
TheEndoftheStoneAge.
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Clever?Yes.Butasformerkidneystonepatients,wecantellyouthat
havingkidneystonesisnotafun,playfulsubject,andthisheadlinemissesthe
mark.Thekidneystonesuffererwantstoknowhecangotohislocalhospital,get
fasttreatment,avoidanoperationandahospitalstay,havetheprocedurebe
painless,andgetridofthekidneystonesthatarecausinghiscurrentdiscomfort.
Therefore,theheadline,
GetRidofPainlessKidneyStonesWithoutSurgery!
Whilelessclever,ismoredirect,andworksbetterwiththistopicand
thisaudience.
Element#2:
Focus
on
the
customer.
Whenwritingcopy,startwiththeprospect,notwiththeproduct.Your
prospectsareinterestedprimarilyinthemselvestheirgoals,theirproblems,their
needs,theirhopes,theirfears,theirdreamsandaspirations.Yourproductor
serviceisofsecondaryimportance,thedegreeofconcernbeingdeterminedbythe
potentialfortheproductorservicetoaddressoneoftheprospectswantsor
needs,orsolveoneoftheirproblems.
Effectivecopyspeaksdirectlytoaspecificaudienceandidentifiestheir
preferences,quirks,behaviors,attitudes,needs,orrequirements.Arecruitment
brochureforacomputerconsultantfirm,forexample,hasthisheadlineon
thecover:
Introducingauniquecareeropportunityonlyafewdozencomputer
professionalsinthecountrywillbeabletotakeadvantageofthisyear....
Theheadlineiseffectivebecauseitfocusesontheprospects(Information
Systemsprofessionals)andoneoftheirmainconcernsinlife(theircareer),rather
thantheconsultingfirmanditshistory,asmostsuchbrochuresdo.
Writefromthecustomerspointofviewe.g.,notour,Introducingour
GuardaHealthEmployeeBenefitProgrambutAtlastyoucancombatthehuge
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healthinsurancepremiumsthreateningtoputyoursmallbusinessout
ofbusiness.
WEKAPublishing,inadirectmailpackagepromotingtheElectronicsRepair
Manual,adoityourselfguideforhobbyistsandotherswhowanttorepairtheir
ownhomeandofficeelectronics,usescopythatspeaksdirectlytothepersonality
typeofthepotentialbuyer:
Ifyourehandy...fascinatedbyelectronicsandtheworldofhightech...are
happiestwithatoolinyourhand...andrespondtohouseholdproblemsand
brokenapplianceswithadefiant,Illdoitmyself...
...
then
fun,
excitement,
the
thrill
of
discovery,
time
and
money
saved,
and
thesatisfactionofajobwelldoneawaityouwhenyoupreviewournewly
updatedElectronicsRepairManualatnoriskforafull30days.
Agoodwaytoensurethatyouarefocusingontheprospects,andnot
yourselforyourproductoryourcompany,istoaddresstheprospectdirectlyin
thecopyasyou.Forexample:
DearHealthCareAdministrator:
Youknowhowtoughitistomakeadecentprofitmarginintodaysworld
ofmanagedcare...andhowtheHMOsandotherplansareputtingevenmoreofa
squeezeonyourmarginstofilltheirownalreadyswellingcoffers.
Butwhatyoumaynotbeawareofisthetechniqueshealthcareproviders
nationwideareusingtofightback...andgetpaideverydollartheydeserveforthe
importantworktheydo.
Thisdirectmailcopy,whichsuccessfullylaunchedanewpublication,
worksbecauseitfocusesontheprospectsandtheirproblems(makingmoney
fromtheirhealthcarebusiness),andnotonthepublication,itseditors,orits
featuresorcolumns.
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Copythatfailstofocusontheprospectoftendoessobecausethe
copywriterdoesnotunderstandtheprospect.Ifyouarewritingtometalshop
managers,attendametalworkingtradeshow,readafewissuesofthetrade
publicationstheysubscribeto,andinterviewsomeoftheseprospectsinpersonor
overthephone.Studyfocusgrouptranscripts,attendlivefocusgroupsessions,or
evenaccompanysalespeopleonsalescallstotheseprospects.Thebetteryou
understandyourtargetaudience,themoreyouhaveafeelforthewaytheythink
andwhattheythinkabout,themoreeffectivelyyoucantargetcopythatspeaksto
thoseconcerns.
Element#3:
Stress
benefits.
Although,dependingonyouraudience,yourprospectsmaybeinterested
bothinthefeaturesandthebenefitsofyourproductorservice,itisalmostnever
sufficienttodiscussfeaturesonly.
Virtuallyallsuccessfulcopydiscussesbenefits.Copyaimedatalay
audiencewouldprimarilystressbenefits,mentioningfeaturesmainlytoconvince
theprospectsthattheproductcaninfactdeliversthebenefitspromisedinthead.
Copyaimedatspecialistsoftengivesequalplaytofeaturesandbenefits,or
mayevenprimarilystressfeatures.Butwheneverafeatureisdescribed,itmustbe
linkedtoacustomerbenefititprovides.Buyersnotonlywanttoknowwhatthe
productisandwhatitdoes;theywanttoknowhowitcanhelpthemachievethe
benefitstheywantsuchassavingmoney,savingtime,makingmoney,being
happier,lookingbetter,orfeelingfitter.
Incopyfortechnicalproducts,clearlyexplainingthefeaturemakesthe
benefitmorebelievable.Dontjustsayaproducthasgreatercapacity;explain
whatfeatureoftheproductallowsittodeliverthisincreasedcapacity.Abrochure
forLucentTechnologieswirelessCDMAtechnologyexplains:
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CDMAgivesyouupto10timesthecapacityofanalogcellularwithmore
efficientuseofspectrum.Useofawidebandblockofradiofrequency(RF)
spectrumfortransmission(1.25MHz)enablesCDMAtosupportupto60ormore
simultaneousconversationsonagivenfrequencyallocation.
AbrochureforacomputerconsultingfirmtellscorporateInformation
Systems(IS)managershowworkingwithoutsideconsultantscanbemorecost
effectivethanhiringstaff,thussavingmoney:
WhenyouaugmentyourISdepartmentwithourstaffconsultants,youpay
ourstaffconsultantsonlywhentheyworkforyou.Iftheneedendstomorrow,so
does
the
billing.
In
addition,
various
studies
estimate
the
cost
of
hiring
a
new
staff
memberat30to60percentormoreoftheannualsalary(anexecutivesearch
firmsfeealonecanbe30percentofthebasepay).Theseexpendituresare100%
eliminatedwhenyoustaffthroughEJR.
InanadforasoftwarepackagethatcreatesletterheadusingaPCanda
laserprinter,thecopystressesthebenefitsofease,convenience,andcostsavings
vs.havingtoorderstationeryfromaprinter:
Nowsavethousandsofdollarsonstationeryprintingcosts!
Everyday,lawfirmsstrugglewiththeexpenseandinconvenienceof
engravedandpreprintedstationery.
Now,inasweepingtrendtocutcostswithoutsacrificingprestige,many
aretradingintheirengravedletterheadforInstantStationerydesktopsoftware
fromDesignForwardTechnologies.
WithInstantStationery,youcanlaserprintyourWordPerfectdocuments
andletterheadtogetheronwhatevergradeofblankbondpaperyouchoose.
Envelopes,too.Whichmeansyouneverhavetosufferthecostofexpensive
preprintedletterheadortheinconvenienceofloadingstationeryintoyour
desktopprintereveragain.
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Element#4:Differentiateyourselffromthecompetition.Todayyourcustomerhasmoreproductsandservicestochoosefromthan
ever.Forexample,acustomerwalkingintoasupermarketcanchoosefrommore
thanXXdifferentbrandsofcereal,XXdifferentbrandsofshampoo,andXX
differentflavorsandbrandsofsoftdrink.
Therefore,tomakeyourproductstandoutinthebuyersmind,and
convincehimorherthatitisbetteranddifferentthanthecompetition,youmust
differentiateitfromthoseotherproductsinyourcopy.Crispixcereal,forexample,
wasadvertisedasthecerealthatstayscrispinmilk.PostRaisinBranwas
advertised
as
the
only
raisin
bran
having
two
scoops
of
raisins
in
each
box
of
cereal.Acookiemakerrecentlyranacampaignpromoting100chipsinevery
bagofchocolatechipcookies.
Companiesthatmakeacommodityproductoftendifferentiatethemselves
onthebasisofservice,expertise,orsomeotherintangible.BOCGases,for
example,promotesitselfasasuperiorvendornotbecausetheirproductisbetter
(theyselloxygen,andoneoxygenmoleculeisbasicallythesameasanother),but
intheirabilitytouseoxygenandtechnologytobenefitthecustomersbusiness.
Hereiscopyfromabrochureaimedatsteelmakers:
AnoxygensupplierwhoknowsoxygenandEAFsteelmakingcanbethe
strategicpartnerwhogivesyouasustainablecompetitiveadvantageintodays
metalsmarkets.AndthatswhereBOCGasescanhelp.
Ifyourproductisuniquewithinitsmarketniche,stressthisinyourcopy.
Forexample,therearedozensofstockmarketnewsletters.ButIPOInsiderclaims
tobetheonlyIPObulletinaimedattheconsumer(thereareotherIPOinformation
services,butthesetargetprofessionalinvestorsandmoneymanagers).Intheir
subscriptionpromotiontheIPOInsidersays:
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IPOInsideristheonlyindependentresearchandanalysisserviceinthe
countrydesignedtohelptheindividualinvestorgenerategreaterthanaverage
stockmarketprofitsinselectrecommendedIPOs.
LucentTechnologies,theAT&Tspinoff,competeswithmanyother
companiesthatmanufacturetelecommunicationsnetworkequipment.They
differentiatethemselvesbystressingthetestedreliabilityoftheirswitch,which
hasbeendocumentedassuperiortootherswitchesintheindustry.One
brochureexplains:
The5ESS2000Switchisoneofthemostreliabledigitalswitchesavailable
for
wireless
systems
today.
According
to
the
U.S.
Federal
Communication
Commissions(FCC)ARMISreport,the5ESS2000Switchhastheleastdowntime
ofanyswitchusedinU.S.networks,exceedingBellcoresreliabilitystandardsby
200%.Withaninstalledbaseofmorethan2,300switches,the5ESS2000Switch
currentlyservesover72millionlinesin49countries.
Element#5:Proveyourcase.Element#4,justdiscussed,claimsproductdifferentiation.Element#3
claimssubstantialbenefitstoproductpurchasers.Thereasonwhytheseelements
cannotstandaloneispreciselythattheyareclaimsclaimsmadeinapaid
advertisement,bytheadvertiser.Therefore,skepticalconsumersdonotusually
acceptthematfacevalue.Ifyousayyouarebetter,faster,orcheaper,andyoudo
notbackupyourclaimswithproof,peoplewontbelieveyou.
ICSconvincesdentistsitisqualifiedtohandletheircollectionsbypresentingfacts
andstatisticsasfollows:
Thenationwideleaderindentalpracticecollections,ICSystemshas
collectedpastdueaccountsreceivablesfor45,717dentalpracticessince1963.Over
20statedentalassociationsrecommendourservicestotheirmembers.
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ICSystemscancollectmoreofthemoneyyourpatientsoweyou.Ouroverall
recoveryratefordentalcollectionsis12.4%higherthantheAmericanCollectors
Associationnationalaverageof33.63%.(Formanydentalpractices,wehave
achievedrecoveryratesevenhigher!)
BOCGasestellscustomersthatthegasmixturestheysellincylindersare
accuratelyblended,andthereforethatthecompositionlistedonthelabeliswhat
thebuyerwillfindinsidethecontainer.Theymakethisargumentcredibleby
explainingtheirblendingandweighingmethodology:
Eachmixturecomponentisweighedintothecylinderonahighcapacity,
high
sensitivity
equal
arm
balance
having
a
typical
precision
of
+10
mg
at
95
percentconfidence.Balanceaccuracyisconfirmedpriortoweighingbycalibration
withNISTtraceableClassSweights.Electronicintegrationoftheprecision
balancewithanautomatedfillingsystemprovidesextremelyaccuratemixtures
withtightblendtolerances.
Manystockmarketnewsletterspromisebigwinnersthatwillmakethe
readerrichifheorshesubscribes.Sinceeveryonesaysit,thestatementisusually
greetedwithskepticism.ThenewsletterGoldStocksAdvisorycombatsthis
skepticismbyputtingtheirrecentsuccessesrightontheouterenvelopeandatthe
topofpageoneoftheirsalesletter:
AsampleofPaulSarnoffsrecenthighprofitgoldstockpicks:
Company: Purchase
Price:
Year
High:
%Increase
/Timeframe:
Potentialprofit*
on10,000shares:
Gold
Canyon C70cents C$10.50 2793%in14months C$195,500
CoralGold C$1.20 C$6.45 438%in8months C$52,500
BemaGold C$2.20 C$13.05 439%in20months C$108,500
Jordex C70cents C$3.75 435%in6months C$26,300
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Glamis
GoldUS$1 US$8.88 788%in84months US$78,800
Barrick
GoldUS$4.81 US$32.88 584%in96months US$280,700
Themostpowerfultoolforprovingyourcaseistodemonstrateagood
trackrecordinyourfield,showingthatyourproductorserviceissuccessfulin
deliveringthebenefitsandotherresultsyoupromise.Onewaytocreatethe
perceptionofafavorabletrackrecordistoincludecasehistoriesandsuccess
storiesinyourcopy.Testimonialsfromsatisfiedcustomersareanothertechnique
forconvincingprospectsthatyoucandowhatyousayyoucando.Youcanalso
impressprospectsbyshowingthemafullorpartiallistofyourcustomers.
Sharewithreadersanyresultsyourfirmhasachievedforanindividual
customerorgroupofcustomers.ICSystems,forexample,impresseddentistsby
tellingthemthatthecompanyhascollected$20millioninpastduebillsoverthe
past2yearsaloneanumberwhichcreatestheperceptionofaservicethatworks.
Element#6:Establishcredibility.Inadditiontothebenefitsyouoffer,theproductsandservicesyoudeliver
thatofferthesebenefits,andtheresultsyouhaveachieved,prospectivebuyers
willaskthequestion,Whoareyou?
Intermsofpersuasion,ofthethreemajortopicsyoudiscussinyourad
theprospect,theproduct,andtheproductvendorthecorporatestoryis
usuallytheleastimportant.Theprospectisprimarilyinterestedinhimselfandhis
problemsandneeds,andinterestedinyourproductorserviceonlyasameansof
solvingthoseproblemsorfillingthoseneeds.Theprospectisinterestedinyour
companyonlyasitrelatestoyourabilitytoreliablymake,deliver,install,and
servicetheproducthebuysfromyou.
Yet,thesourceoftheproductorservicethecompanystillisafactorin
influencingpurchasedecisions.Intheearlydaysofpersonalcomputing,IBMwas
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thepreferredbrandnotbecauseIBMnecessarilymadeasuperiorcomputerata
betterprice,butbecauseifsomethingwentwrong,IBMcouldbecountedonfor
fast,reliable,effectiveserviceandsupport.AsPCsbecamemoreofacommodity
andlocalcomputerresellersandstoresofferedbetterservice,theservice
andsupportreputationofIBMbecamelessofanadvantage,andtheirPC
salesdeclined.
Herearesomeexamplesofcopyinwhichthevendorgivescredentials
designedtomaketheconsumerfeelmorecomfortableindoingbusinesswith
themandchoosingthemoverothersuppliersadvertisingsimilarproducts
and
services:
Weguaranteethebesttechnicalserviceandsupport.Iwasacompressor
servicetechnicianatIngersollRand,andinthelast20yearshavepersonally
servicedmorethan250compressorsatover80companies.
Fornearly100years,BOCGaseshasprovidedinnovativegastechnology
solutionstomeetprocessandproductionneeds.Wehavesuppliedmorethan
20,000differentgasesandgasmixturesinpuritiesupto99.99999percentto2
millioncustomersworldwide.
LionTechnologyisdifferent.Fornearlytwodecades,wehavededicated
ourselves100%totrainingmanagers,engineers,andothersinenvironmental
compliancerelatedsubjects.Since1989,ourfirmhasconductedmorethan1,400
workshopsnationwideonthesetopics.
YoullfindsomeofPaulsfundamentalresearchinpreciousmetals
summedupinhismorethan60bestsellingbooksincludingSilverBullsand
TradingwithGold.Paulsuniqueblendingofsolidresearch,combinedwith
anunprecedentedrecordofsuccessinpickinggoldstocks,mayhavebeen
whatmovedoneNewYorkTimesreportertodubhimthedeanof
commoditiesresearchers.
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Credentialsyoucanlistinyourcopyincludeyearfounded,numberof
yearsinbusiness,numberofemployees,annualrevenues,numberoflocations,
numberofunitssold,patentsandproductinnovations,awards,commendations,
publications,membershipandparticipationinprofessionalsocieties,sealsof
approval,agencyratings,independentsurveyresults,mediacoverage,numberof
customers,andinhouseresources(financial,technological,andhuman).
Element#7:Buildvalue.Itsnotenoughtoconvinceprospectsyouhaveagreatproductora
superiorservice.Youmustalsoshowthemthatthevalueofyourofferfarexceeds
the
price
you
are
asking
for
it.
You
may
have
the
best
widget
in
the
$100
to
$200
pricerangeofmediumsizewidgets,butwhyshouldtheprospectpay$200for
yourwidgetwhentheycangetanotherbrandforhalftheprice?Oneargument
mightbelowertotalcostofownership.Althoughyourwidgetcostsmoretobuy,
itsgreaterreliabilityandperformancesaveandmakeyourfirmmoneythat,over
thelongrun,farexceedsthedifferenceinpricebetweenyouandbrandX.
Stresscostofownershipvs.costofpurchase.Thepurchasepriceisnottheonly
costofowningsomething.Thereisthecostofmaintenance,support,repair,
refurbishment,operation,and,whensomethingwearsout,replacement.
Thereforetheproductthatcoststheleasttobuymaynotactuallycostthe
leasttoown;oftentimes,itisthemostexpensivetoown!
Example:Severalcompaniesarenowsellingartificialbonesubstitutesfor
orthopedicsurgeonstouseinbonegraftoperations.Asofthiswriting,asmall
containeroftheartificialbonesubstitute,containingenoughmaterialforonespine
surgery,cancost$500to$800.
Theshortsightedbuyerseesthisasexpensive,especiallysincebonegraft
canbetakenfromothersitesinthepatientsownbody,andthereisnocostfor
thismaterial.
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Butistherereallynocost?Collectingbonegraftfromthepatientsown
bodyaddsaboutanhourtothesurgicalprocedure.Withoperatingroomtimeat
about$1,000anhour,itmakessensetopay$750forbonematerialandeliminate
thisextrahourintheOR.
Thatsnotall.Oftenremovingthebonefromadonorsitecausesproblems
thatcanresultinanextradaysstayinthehospital.Thatsanother$1,000down
thetubes.Andtheremovalofbonefromthedonorsitecancauseinfection,which
mustbetreatedwithcostlyantibiotics.Also,theremovalprocesscancausepain;
howdoyoumeasurethecostofthepatientsaddedsuffering?Sowhile$750for
a
small
vial
of
artificial
bone
may
seem
initially
expensive,
it
is
in
fact
a
bargain
whencomparedwiththealternative(which,onthesurface,appearstohave
zerocost).
Heresasimplerexample.Youneedtobuyaphotocopierforyourhome
office.CopierAcosts$900.CopierBcosts$1,200.Thefeaturesareessentiallythe
same,andthereputationsofthebrandsarecomparable.Bothhaveanexpected
lifetimeof120,000copies.Mostpeoplewouldsay,Everythingsthesameexcept
price,sobuycopierAandsave$300.CopierAcomparesitselffeatureforfeature
withCopierB,andrunsanadwiththeheadline,CopierAvs.OurCompetition...
WeCanDoEverythingTheyCanDo...at25%OffthePrice.
ButyouarethecopywriterforthemakersofCopierB.Youaskthemwhat
itcoststomakeacopy.Theircostpercopyis2cents.YouinvestigateCopierA,
andfindoutthatthetonercartridgesaremoreexpensive,sothatthecostpercopy
is4cents.Youcannowadvertisecopiesathalfthecostofourcompetitor.
Whatsmore,asimplecalculationshowsthatifCopierBis2centsacopy
cheaper,andyouusethemachinetomake120,000copies,yoursavingsoverthe
lifeofthemachineis$2,400.Therefore,aninvestmentinCopierBpaysyoupack
eighttimestheextra$300itcosttobuy.Thisisadditionalammunitionyoucanuse
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inyourcopytoestablishthatpurchasepriceisnottheultimatefactordetermining
buyingdecisions,andthatCopierBoffersagreateroverallvaluetothebuyer.
Ifyourproductcostsslightlymoreupfrontbutactuallysavesmoneyinthe
longrun,stressthisinyoursalestalk.Everyoneknowsthatthecheapestproduct
isnotautomaticallythebestbuy;corporatebuyersarebecomingespecially
concernedwiththiscostofownershipconcept.Onlygovernmentbusiness,which
isawardedbasedonsealedproposalsandbids,seemstostillfocussolelyonthe
lowestprice.Andeventhatisslowlychanging.
Thekeytoestablishingvalueistoconvincetheprospectsthatthepriceyou
ask
is
a
drop
in
the
bucket
compared
with
the
money
your
product
will
make
or
savethem,ortheotherbenefitsitdelivers.Someexamples:
WhatwouldyoudoiftheEPAassesseda$685,000fineagainstyour
companyfornoncompliancewithenvironmentalregulationsyouwerenteven
awareexisted?
Nowgetthespecial50thAnniversaryEditionof
PERRYSCHEMICALENGINEERSHANDBOOK...
...foronly$4.97(listprice:$129.50)
withyourNoRiskTrialMembershipinMcGrawHills
ChemicalEngineersBookClub
Anotherwaytoestablishvalueistocomparethecostofyourproductwith
moreexpensiveproductsorservicesthataddressthesamebasicneed:
ThecostofTheNovellCompanion,includingthe800+pagereferencebinder
andNetWareutilitiesondiskette,isnormally$89plus$6.50forshippingand
handling.ThisislessthanaNetWareconsultantwouldchargetoadviseyoufor
justonehour...yetTheNovellCompanionistheretohelpyouadministerand
manageyournetwork,yearafteryear.
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Ifyourproductorserviceisusedoveraperiodoftime,asmostare,you
canreducethestickershockthatcomeswithquotingahighupfrontpriceby
showingthecostovertheextendedusageperiod.Forinstance,alifeinsurance
policywithanannualpremiumof$200givesyourlovedonesprotectionfor
just55centsaday.Thelatterseemsmoreaffordable,althoughthetwoprices
areequivalent.
Element#8:Closewithacalltoaction.Copyiswrittentobringaboutachangethatis,tocauseprospectsto
changetheiropinion,attitude,beliefs,purchasingplans,brandpreferences,or
immediate
buying
actions.
Toeffectthischange,yourcopymustbespecificabouttheactionthe
prospectshouldtakeiftheyareinterestedinwhatyouvesaidandhowtotake
advantageofyourofferoratleastfindoutmore.Tellthemtoclipandmailthe
coupon,callthetollfreephonenumber,visityourWebsite,cometoyourstore,
requestafreeestimate,orwhatever.Specifythenextstepdirectlyinyourcopy,or
elsefewpeoplewilltakeit.Someexamples:
Whenyoucall,besuretoaskhowyoucangetaFREEcopyofournew
audiocassette,HowtoGetBetterResultsFromYourCollectionEfforts.Injust7
minuteslisteningtime,youlldiscoveratleasthalfadozenofthetechniquesIC
Systemsusesandyoucanuse,tootogetmorepeopletopaywhatthey
oweyou.
ForacomplementarycopyoftheSECRETSOFBUILDINGAWORLD
CLASSWEBSITEaudiocassette,completeandmailthesurveyenclosedorfaxit
todayto1888FAX2IBM(18883292426).
PutBOCsqualitygassolutionstoworkinyourplantstartingtoday.
Thinkitstimetotalkwithagassupplierthatreallyknowsyourbusinessandhas
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realsolutionstoyourproblems?CallyourBOCGasesrepresentativetoday.Or
visitourWebsiteathttp://www.boc.com.
Section3
FeaturesbeforeBenefits
Perhapstheoldestandmostwidelyembracedruleforwriting
directresponsecopyis,Stressbenefits,notfeatures. Buteventhissacred
commandmentdoesntalwaysholdtrue.
Asadirectresponsecopywriter,Idomybesttowritecopythatfocuseson
benefits,saysfreelancerConnieClarkinalettertothismagazine(February1987).
Butsometimesinadmittedlyrarecircumstancesadifferentapproachcan
workaswellorbetter.
Specifically,Icanthinkoffivesellingsituationsinwhichfeaturesshouldbe
givenequal(ifnottop)billingoverbenefitsandpromiseorientedcopy.
1.Sellingtoexperts. Asanewhomeowner,Iknowbeansaboutinsulation.
SoIneedtobesoldonthebenefits:Howmuchwilltheinsulationreducemy
winterfuelbills? Whatsthebenefitofinsulatingmyatticfloorvs.theroof? Why
isanRvalueof11betterthan9? Willmyhouseactuallybecomewarmerand
lessdrafty?
But
could
you
imagine
repeating
this
discussion
in
a
mailing
aimed
at
insulationcontractorsandinstallers? Ofcoursenot,becausethesecontractorsare
expertsininsulation. Theyalreadyknowwhatinsulationcandoandwhyitis
important. SocopyshouldstressthefeaturesofinsulationRvalues,price,
volumediscounts,typesofmaterialsavailable,installationtechniques.
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Theseinsulationexpertsareinterestedinonlyonething:Doyouhavethe
productstheyneedtohelpthemdotheirjobcorrectlyandatagoodprofit? A
discussionoffeaturesandpricingwillgivetheseknowledgeableprosthe
informationtheyneedtomakeadecision.
2.Enthusiasts. Inmybusinesstobusinesscopywritingcourseat
NewYorkUniversity,IpickedaPorscheadoutofamagazineandheldit
upforridicule.
Listentothis,IsaidasIbegantoreadthecopy. The944hasanew2.5
liter,4cylinder,aluminumsiliconalloyPorscheenginedesignedatWeissach,
and
built
at
Zuffenhausen.
It
achieves
maximum
torque
of
137.2
ft
lbs
as
early
as3,000rpm,andproduces143hpat5,500rpm. The944alsohasthePorsche
transaxledesign,PorscheaerodynamicsandPorschehandling.
Ifinishedmycritiquebysaying,Thisisatextbookexampleofaclassic
copywritingmistake:stressingfeaturesinsteadofbenefits.Thisadisnothing
morethanaspecsheetofengineeringstatistics,anddoesapoorjobofsellingthe
benefitsofowningaPorsche.
Astudentraisedhishand. Imsorrytodisagreewithyou,butitsobvious
youdontknoworcaremuchaboutcars. ImacarnutIownaCorvetteanda
Jagandthatadgetsmedroolingtotrythe944ontheroad. WhenIhear143hp
at5,500rpm,Icanfeelthataluminumsiliconalloyenginehummingunder
thehood!
Lookingback,Ithinkhewasright. Imthetypewhocouldcarelessabout
carsorwhichoneIdrive...butthenagain,Improbablynotthekindofbuyer
Porscheisafter. IfthePorscheadwasaimedatautomobileenthusiasts,then
perhapsitsfeatureorientedapproachwasjustrightforticklingtheirfancy.
Remember,enthusiastsandhobbyistshavealovefortheirobsessionthatis
quitealientotherestofus. Butveryrealtothem.
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Forinstance,adiscussionofwoofersandtweetersmaybeboringtothe
vastmajorityofpeoplewhobuystereos. Butthehifinutwantstoknow. Inthe
sameway,ahackerhasafascinationforbitsandbytestheaveragecomputeruser
doesnotshare.
Moral:Whenwritingtoenthusiasts,thinklikeanenthusiast. Dontassume
thatthehobbyistsharesyourlackofinterestinthenutsandboltsaspectsof
whateveritisyouareselling.
3.Engineersandscientists. VivianSudhalter,directorofmarketingfor
MacmillanSoftware,isresponsibleforsellingexpensivesoftwaretoscientistswho
use
computers
to
analyze
complex
laboratory
data.
I
asked
Vivian
what
works
for
herindirectmailandwhatdoesnt.
Despitewhattraditiontellsyou,theengineeringandscientificmarket
doesnotrespondtopromiseorbenefitorientedcopy,shesays. Theyrespond
tofeatures. Yourcopymusttellthemexactlywhattheyaregettingandwhatyour
productcando. Scientistsandengineersareputoffbycopythatsoundslike
advertisingjargon. Theyresentitifyoutalkdowntothem. Whenwritingcopy,
donttrytobeclever,justgiveinformationabouttheproduct.
SudhaltersleadgeneratingselfmailerforMacmillansAsystandAsystant
softwarefollowsthismodel. Thecopyhasascientisttoscientisttoneandtalks
aboutsucharcanemattersasHermitianmatrices,spectralslicingandQR
factorization. Yet,itissuccessful,havinggenerateda4percentresponsewith
Macmillansinhouseprospectlist. Viviantellsmethatshehasconductedmany
testsoffeatureorientedvs.benefitorientedmailings,andthefeatureoriented
mailingswineverytime.
4.Equipment. Copythatsellsequipmentandsystemsmustnotonly
stressthebenefits,butitmustalsodescribehowtheproductworksandwhat
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itcando. Anditmustlistcompletespecificationssothebuyercanmakean
intelligentdecision.
IfIbuyanewsletter,IsubscribebecauseofhowIllbenefitfromthe
informationitcontains. Features,suchaswhetheritis8or12pageslong,or
whethertheeditorreads287publicationsinsteadof240,aresecondary. Eitherthe
informationisusefultome,oritisnt.
Butthesituationisdifferentwithtangibleitems. Irecentlyreceiveda
catalogthatsellscomputerfurniturethroughthemail. Iwasthinkingofbuying,
butthecatalogdidntprovidetheinformationIneeded. Forexample,the
drawing
failed
to
show
dimensions,
so
I
couldnt
tell
whether
my
printer
would
fit
ontheprintershelforevenwhetherthedeskwouldfitthroughmyfrontdoor.
Moral:Benefitsmaygenerateinitialinterestinaproduct. Butwithmany
customers,youmakeorlosethesalebasedonwhetheryoumentionaparticular
feature. Copythatdoesnthighlightallthekeyfeaturescancostyousales.
5.Practicality. Isyourproductsoldonglitzandglamour,hopesand
dreams? Orisitboughtformorepracticalreasons? Productswithpractical
appealmustbesupportedbyfeatureorientedcopythatgivesyourprospectthe
assurancethathesbuyingagoodsolutiontohisproblems.
Forexample,thedozensofHowtoGetRichQuickbookssoldthrough
mailorderadsareappealingtothebuyersdreamsratherthanhardreality. (How
manyofthepeoplewhobuysuchbooksactuallybecomerich?) Andsothecopy
quiteappropriatelyconcentrates100percentonthepromiseofrichesbeyondthe
dreamsofavarice,withoutrevealingtheactualfeaturesoftheplan...whichwould
onlybeadisappointment.
Ontheotherhand,ifthesamepersonneededanewgasfurnaceforhis
home,hewouldlookatyourproductwithmuchmoreattentiontodetail. Here,
copywouldhavetoconcentrateonexplainingtechnicalfeatures,andonbuilding
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confidenceintheperformanceoftheproductandthereliabilityofthe
manufacturer. Featureswouldlikelyhaveequalbillingwithbenefitsinyour
brochureormailpackage.
OK.Letssayyouwanttoincludesomefeaturesandtechnical
specificationsinyournextpieceofcopy. HerearesomeofthemethodsIusefor
integratingtechnicalinformationintoasalesorientedpiece.
FEATURES/BENEFITSTABLE. Thisissimplyatwocolumntable
orchecklist. Thelefthandcolumnlistsallthefeaturesofyourproduct,while
therighthandcolumndescribesthebenefitsthecustomergetsasaresultof
each
feature.
Manycopywritingbooksandcoursessuggestthatyoumakesuchalistas
preparationforwritinganypieceofcopy. Imsuggestingyougoonestepfurther
andactuallyreprintthefeatures/benefitslistasapageinyourbrochure.
TWOPARTCAUSEANDEFFECTSTATEMENTS. Withthis
technique,usedinheadlinesandbodycopy,youfirstdescribeafeatureofyour
brochure,thentalkaboutthebenefitsthatresultfromthisfeature. Youaresaying:
BecauseourproducthasFeatureX,yougetBenefitY. Someexamples:
BecausethesystemusesLbandfrequencyandimprovedMTI(moving
targetindication),itcandetecttargetsupto50timesfartherawaythanSband
automobileradars.
Nomechanicalsystemsormovingpartsarerequired. Whichmeans
HydroCircconsumeslessenergyandtakeslessspacethanconventional
sumppumps.
Thegeometricshapeofthesealringamplifiestheforceagainstthedisc. As
thepressuregrows,sodoesthevalvesperformance.
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SPECBOX. Aspecboxisaseparateboxpresentingalltechnical
specificationsandfeaturesofaproductinlistform. Agoodplaceforthespecbox
isthebackpageofyourflierorbrochure.
Haveyourartistputaborderaroundthespecboxtoseparateitfromthe
maintext. Anothertechniqueforvisuallyseparatingyourspecboxfromtherest
ofthebodycopyistoprintthespecsoveralighttint.
VISUALS. Usetables,graphs,charts,diagrams,illustrations,photosand
othervisualstohighlightfeaturesandtechnicalinformation. Savebodycopyfora
discussionofbenefits.
Section4
HowtoWriteaGoodAdvertisement
Todefinewhatconstitutesgoodprintadvertising,webeginwithwhata
goodprintadisnot:
Itisnotcreativeforthesakeofbeingcreative. Itisnotdesignedtopleasecopywriters,artdirectors,agencypresidentsor
evenclients.
Itsmainpurposeisnottoentertain,winawardsorshoutatthereaders,Iamanad.Dontyouadmiremyfinewriting,boldgraphicsand
cleverconcept?
Inotherwords,ignoremostofwhatyouwouldlearnasastudentinany
basicadvertisingclassorasatraineeinoneofthebigMadisonAvenueconsumer
adagencies.
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Okay.Sothatswhatanadshouldntbe.Asforwhatanadshouldbe,here
aresomecharacteristicssharedbysuccessfuldirectresponseprintads:
Theystressabenefit.Themainsellingpropositionisnotcleverlyhiddenbutismadeimmediatelyclear.Example:HowtoWinFriendsand
InfluencePeople.
Theyarousecuriosityandinvitereadership.Thekeyhereisnottobeoutrageousbuttoaddressthestrongestinterestsandconcernsofyour
targetaudience.Example:DoyouMakeTheseMistakesinEnglish?
appealstothereadersdesiretoavoidembarrassmentandwriteand
speak
properly.
Theyprovideinformation.TheheadlineHowtoStopEmissionProblemsatHalftheCostofConventionalAirPollutionControlDevicesluresthe
readerbecauseitpromisesusefulinformation.Prospectstodayseek
specific,usableinformationonhighlyspecializedtopics.Adsthatprovide
informationthereaderwantsgethigherreadershipandbetterresponse.
Theytalktothereader.Whyaresomanysuccessfulcontroladswrittenbydirectresponseentrepreneursratherthetopfreelancecopywritersand
directresponseagencies?
Mytheoryisthatwhenpeopleseeanondirectresponsead,theyknowits
justaremindertypeadandfiguretheydonthavetoreadit.
Because,althoughtheseentrepreneursmaynotbeprofessionalwriters,
theyknowtheirproduct,theiraudienceandwhatholdstheiraudiencesinterest.
Andthatisfarmoreimportantthancopywritingtechniqueorstyle.
Theyareknowledgeable.Successfuladcopyreflectsahighlevelofknowledgeandunderstandingoftheproductandtheproblemitsolves.An
effectivetechniqueistotellthereadersomethinghealreadyknows,
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provingthatyou,theadvertiser,arewellversedinhisindustry,application
orrequirement.
Anoppositestyle,ineffectivelyusedbymanyprofessionalagency
copywriters,istoreduceeverythingtothesimplestcommondenominatorand
assumethereaderiscompletelyignorant.Butthiscaninsultthereaders
intelligenceanddestroyyourcredibilitywithhim.
Theyhaveastrongfreeoffer.Goodadscontainastrongeroffer.Theytellthereaderthenextstepinthebuyingprocessandencouragehimtotake
itNOW.
All
ads
should
have
an
offer,
because
the
offer
generates
immediate
responseandbusinessfromprospectsthatarereadytobuynoworatleast
thinkingaboutbuying.Withoutanoffer,theseurgentprospectsarenot
encouragedtoreachouttoyou,andyoulosemanypotentialcustomers.
Inaddition,strongoffersincreasereadership,becausepeoplelikeadsthat
offerthemsomethingespeciallyifitisfreeandhashighperceivedvalue.
Writersofimageadvertisingmayobject,Butdoesntmakinganoffer
cheapenthead,destroyourimage?Afterall,wewantawareness,notresponse.
Buthowdoesofferingafreebookletweakentherestofthead?Itdoesnt,of
course.Theentirenotionthatyoucannotsimultaneouslyelicitaresponseand
communicateamessageisabsurdandwithoutfoundation.
Theyaredesignedtoemphasizetheoffer.Graphictechniquessuchaskickersoreyebrows(copylinesabovethe
headline),boldheadlines,liberaluseofsubheads,bulletedornumbered
copypoints,coupons,sketchofatelephone,tollfreenumberssetinlarge
type,picturesofresponsebookletsandbrochures,dashedborders,
asterisks,andmarginalnotesmakeyouradsmoreeyecatchingand
responseoriented,increasingreadership.
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Why?Mytheoryisthatwhenpeopleseeanondirectresponsead,they
knowitsjustaremindertypeadandfiguretheydonthavetoreadit.Butwhen
theyseeresponsetypegraphicdevices,thesevisualssaytothereader,Stop!This
isaresponsead!Readitsoyoucanfindoutwhatweareoffering.Andmailthe
couponsoyoucangetitNOW!
Theyareclearlyillustrated.Goodadvertisingdoesnotuseabstractartorconceptsthatforcethereadertopuzzleoutwhatisbeingsold.Ideally,you
shouldbeabletounderstandexactlywhattheadvertiserspropositionis
withinfivesecondsoflookingatthead.AsJohnCaplesobservedalong
time
ago,
the
best
visual
for
an
ad
for
a
record
club
is
probably
a
picture
ofrecords.
Ataboutthispoint,someonefromDDBwillstandupandobject:Waita
minute.Yousaidthesearethecharacteristicsofasuccessfuldirectresponsead.
Butisntgeneraladvertisingdifferent?
Maybe.Butoneofthewaystomakeyourgeneraladvertisingmore
effectiveistowriteanddesignitasadirectresponsead.Applyingallthestockin
tradetechniquesofthedirectmarketer(coupons,tollfreenumbers,freebooklets,
reasonwhycopy,benefitheadlines,informativesubheads)virtuallyguarantees
thatyouradvertisementwillbebetterreadandgetmoreresponsethanthe
averageimagead.
IagreewithHowardRuffwhenhesaysthateverythingamarketerdoes
shouldbedirectresponse.Ithinkthegeneraladvertisingpeoplewhoclaimthata
couponorfreebookletofferruinstheirlyricalcopyorstark,dramaticlayoutare
ineffectualartistsmoreinterestedinappearanceandportfoliosthanresults.
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7waystocreatebusinesspublicationadvertisingthatgetsresults
Howdoyoucreateanindustrialortradeadthatgetsattention,winshigh
readershipscores,andgeneratesasteadyflowofvaluableinquiriesthatconvert
easilytosales?
Herearesomeideas,basedonstudy(conductedtogathermaterialfor
mybook,AdsThatSell)ofsomeadvertisementsthathaveprovensuccessfulin
themarketplace:
1.Putabenefitintheheadline.
ThemostsuccessfuladIeverwrote(whichwasthenumberoneinquiry
producer
in
four
consecutive
insertions)
had
the
headlines:
HOWTOSOLVEYOUREMISSIONSPROBLEMS...
...athalftheenergycostonconventionalventuriscrubbers.
Theheadlinecombinesapowerfulbenefit(halftheenergycost)withthe
promiseofusefulinformation(howto)addresseddirectlyatthereaders
specificproblem(solveyouremissionsproblems).
2.Askaprovocativequestion.
MyfriendBobPallacewroteanadthatgeneratedanimmediate$1million
increaseinbillingsforhisadagencyinSilverSpring,Maryland.Theheadlinewas:
AREYOUTIREDOFWORKINGFOR
YOURADAGENCY?
Theadranonlyonetimeineachofthreemagazines(HighTechMarketing,
BusinessMarketing,Inc.)andimmediatelybroughtinfivenewclients.
3.Bedirect.
Anadagencyaskedmetowriteanadtogeneratesalesleadsforaclient
thatrepairsandrestoresoldsurgicaltables.Whentheysentmetheirliterature,I
usedtheheadlineontheirbrochureastheheadlineforthead.
Itread:
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SURGICALTABLESREBUILT
FreeLoanersAvailable
Theadwassuccessful,anddemonstratesthatwhenyouaretheonlyone
advertisingaparticularproductorservice,orwhenthenatureofyourofferis
hardtograsp,directheadlinescanbeextremelyeffective.Anotherdirectheadline
IlikeappearedinanadrunninginNetworkWorld:
LINK8PCSTOYOURMAINFRAME
ONLY$2,395
Donald
Reddy,
president
of
the
firm,
said
the
ad
was
extremely
effective
in
generatingasmallbutsteadyflowofhighlyqualifiedsalesleads.
4.Givethereaderusefulinformation.
Onewaytoincreasereadershipistopromisethereaderusefulinformation
inyourheadline,thendeliveritinyouradcopy.
Foranadofferingbusinesspeopleabookonhowtocollectoverduebills,
MiltPiercewrotethisheadline:
7WAYSTOCOLLECTYOUR
UNPAIDBILLS.
NewfromDowJonesIrwin...
ASuccessfulandProvenWay
toGetYourBillsPaidFaster.
Theinformationtypeadishighlyeffectiveinbusinesstobusiness
advertising.Why?Becausethereasonbusinesspeoplereadtradejournalsisfor
information,notentertainment,andsuchadscontributetothatvaluablestore
ofdata.
5.Offerafreebooklet,brochure,orinformationkit.
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Offeringsomethingtangibleabrochure,booklet,informationkit,
videotape,audiocassette,researchreport,checklist,orothermaterialthereader
cansendforhasneverfailedtoincreaseresponseformeinnearlyadecade
ofadwriting.
Attheendofyourad,putinasubheadofferingthematerial(forexample:
Getthefacts FREE!).Thendescribeyourbrochureorbooklet,showapictureof
it,andexplainwhatthereadermustdotogetit.
Ifyoucanaddsomethingtoasalesbrochuretomakeitoflastingvalue,
somuchthebetter.Morepeoplewillrequestyourpieceandmorepeoplewill
keep
it.
6.Useacoupon.
Couponsvisuallyidentifyyouradasdirectresponse,causingmore
peopletostopandreadit(becausetheyknowthatcouponadsusuallyofferfree
thingsofvalue).Iftheadisonethirdpageorless,putadashedborderaroundthe
entireadtocreatethefeelandappearanceofacoupon.Copytheninstructsthe
reader.Formoreinformation,clipthisadandmailwithyourbusinesscardto
{companyname,address}.
7.Useaheadlinewithmultipleparts:
Aheadlinedoesnothavetocontainjustonesentenceorphrasesetinone
uniformtypesize.Often,youcancreateamoreeyecatchingandeffective
headlineusingwhatisessentiallyathreepartheadline.
Thefirstpart,orkicker,isaneyebroworshortlinethatgoesintheupper
leftcornerofthead,eitherstraightorataslant.Onegooduseofthekickeristo
selectaspecifictypeofreaderforthead(e.g.,AttentionCOBOLProgrammers).
Anothereffectivetechniqueistoletthereaderknowyouareofferingsomething
free(SpecialFreeOffer SeeCouponBelow).
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Next,setinlargertype,comesyourmailheadline,whichstatesyourcentral
benefitormakesapowerfulpromise.Then,inthesubhead,youexpandonthe
benefitorrevealthespecificnatureofthepromise.Examples:
$500ADAYWRITERSUTOPIA
Heresthebreakthroughofferthatopens
upawholenewworldforwritersorthose
whohopetobecomewriters:
FORHIGHSPEEDHIGHPERFORMANCE
DATAINTEGRATION,LOOKINTOMAGIC
MIRROR.
Now
you
can
move
data
instantly
from
oneprogramtoanotherrightfromyourPCscreen.
Ifyourheadlineisdesignedtoarousecuriosityorgrabattentionanddoes
soattheexpenseofclarity,thenbesuretomakethenatureofyourproposition
immediatelyclearinasubheadorwithinthefirstsentence.Otherwiseyouwill
losetheinterestofthereaderwhoseattentionyouworkedsohardtogain.
Section5
TheMagicofFalseLogic
Falselogic,atermcoinedbymyfriend,mastercopywriterMichael
Masterson,
is
copy
that
manipulates
(but
does
not
lie
about
or
misrepresent),
throughskillfulwriting,existingfacts.Theobjective:tohelpreaderscometo
conclusionsthatthosefacts,presentedwithoutthetwistsofthecopywriterspen,
mightnototherwisesupport.
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AcatalogforHarry&Davidsaysofitspears,Notonepersonin1,000has
evertastedthem.Thestatistic,aspresentedbythecatalogwriter,makesthe
productsoundrareandexclusiveandthatshowtheaveragereaderinterpretsit,
justasthecopywriterintended.
Butalogiciananalyzingthatstatementmightsaythatitsimplyindicates
thatthepearsarenotverypopularalmostnoonebuysthem.
Itspossibletoarguethatsomefalselogicbordersondeception,butthe
marketerhastomakethatcallforhimself.
Ametalsbrokeradvertised95%ofordersshippedfromstocktoindicate
ready
availability.
But
he
ran
his
business
out
of
an
office
and
had
no
warehouse.
Howcouldheclaimheshippedfromstock?
Wedoship95%ofordersfromstock,themarketerexplains.Butnot
fromourstockfromthemetalsuppliersstock.Wearejustabroker.Butwedo
notadvertisethat,sincebeingabrokerisperceivedasanegative.
Apromotionsellingastockmarketnewslettertoconsumerscompares
the$99subscriptionpricewiththe$2,000theeditorwouldchargeifhewere
managingyourmoneyforyou,basedona2%feeandaminimuminvestment
of$100,000.
ThereaderthinksheisgettingMr.Editortogivehim$2,000worthof
moneymanagementservicesfor$99,andquicklyglossesoverthefactthatthe
newsletterisnotpreciselythesameasamanagedaccount.
AsimilarexampleisthepromotiondonebymyfriendDonHauptmanfor
AmericanSpeaker,alooseleafserviceforexecutivesonhowtogivegoodspeeches.
Inhispromotion,hepointsoutthatthisproductcanhelpyouwithyourspeeches
allyearlong(ithasperiodicsupplements)vs.the$5,000itcoststohavea
professionalspeechwriterwritejustonespeech.Butofcourse,AmericanSpeakeris
notactuallywritingyourspeechforyou.
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Thereisanongoingdebateaboutwhetherpeoplebuyforemotionalor
logicalreasons,butmostsuccessfulmarketersknowthattheformerismore
dominantasabuyingmotivethanthelatter.Itiscommonlysaid,Peoplebuy
basedonemotion,thenrationalizethepurchasedecisionwithlogic.
Becausetheyhavemadethebuyingdecisionbasedonstrongfeelingsand
ingrainedbeliefs,theyareinessencelookingforjustificationandsupportforwhat
theyalreadywanttodo.
Therefore,aslongasthelogicalargumentseemscredibleandsensible,they
willacceptit.Theydonotprobeintoitasscientificallyordeeplyaswould,say,
Ralph
Nader
or
an
investigative
reporter
for
Consumer
Reports.
Somecriticsviewdirectmarketingasastepbelowgeneralmarketingin
respectability,ethics,andhonesty.Andperhapstheymightreasonthatmy
advocatingtheuseoffalselogicaddsfueltotheirargument.
Butinfact,falselogicisnotjustthepurviewofdirectmarketers;general
marketersuseitroutinely,somewithgreatsuccess.
Foryears,McDonaldsadvertisedbillionssoldtopromotetheir
hamburgerleadingcustomerstothefalseconclusionthatjustbecausesomething
ispopular,itisnecessarilygood.Publishersusesimilarlogicwhentheytrumpeta
bookasaNewYorkTimesbestseller.
Isallthisunethical?Youcandrawyourownconclusion,butinmy
opinion,no.
Acopywriter,likealawyer,isanadvocatefortheclient(orhisemployer).
Justasthelawyerusesalltheargumentsathisdisposaltowinthecase,sodoes
thecopywriteruseallthefactsathisdisposaltowintheconsumeroverto
theproduct.
Certainly,weshouldmarketnoproductsthatareillegal,dangerous,or
immoral,thoughonemansVictoriaSecretscatalogisanothermanssoftporn.
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Buttonotuseallthetoolsatourdisposal(includingfalselogic)topersuadethe
buyeriseitherincompetence,failuretodischargefiduciaryduties,orboth.
Section6
HowtoWriteSubjectLinesThatGetYourEmail
OpenedandRead
Whenprospectsgetyouremailmarketingmessage,theymakeaquick
decision,
usually
in
a
couple
of
seconds,
to
open
or
delete
it
based
largely
on
the
subjectline.Butgiventheglutofpromotionalemailtoday,howcanyouconvince
abusyprospectinjustafewwordsthatyourmessageisworthyofattention?
The4Uscopywritingformulawhichstandsforurgent,unique,ultra
specific,andusefulcanhelp.
OriginallydevelopedbymycolleagueMichaelMastersonforwritingmore
powerfulheadlines,the4Usformulaworksespeciallywellwithemailsubject
lines.Illshareitwithyounow.
Accordingtothisformula,strongsubjectlinesare:
Urgent.Urgencygivesthereaderareasontoactnowinsteadoflater.Youcancreateasenseofurgencyinyoursubjectlinebyincorporatingatime
element.Forinstance,Make$100,000workingfromhomethisyearhasa
greatersenseofurgencythanMake$100,000workingfromhome.A
senseofurgencycanalsobecreatedwithatimelimitedspecialoffer,such
asadiscountorpremiumifyouorderbyacertaindate.
Unique.Thepowerfulsubjectlineeithersayssomethingnew,orifitsayssomethingthereaderhasheardbefore,saysitinanewandfreshway.For
example,WhyJapanesewomenhavebeautifulskinwasthesubjectline
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inanemailpromotingaJapanesebathkit.Thisisdifferentthanthetypical
Save10%onJapaneseBathKits.
Ultraspecific.Boardroomistheabsolutemasterofultraspecificbullets,knownasfascinations,thatteasethereaderintoreadingfurtherand
orderingtheproduct.Examples:Whatnevertoeatonanairplane,Bills
itsokaytopaylate,andBesttimetofileforataxrefund.Theyusesuch
fascinationsindirectmailasenvelopeteasersandinemailassubjectlines.
Useful.Thestrongsubjectlineappealstothereadersselfinterestbyofferingabenefit.InthesubjectlineAnInvitationtoSki&Save,the
benefit
is
saving
money.
Whenyouhavewrittenyoursubjectline,askyourselfhowstrongit
isineachofthese4Us.Useascaleof1to4(1=weak,4=strong)torankitin
eachcategory.
Rarelywillasubjectlineratea3or4onallfourUs.Butifyoursubjectline
doesntratea3or4onatleastthreeoftheUs,itsprobablynotasstrongasit
couldbeandcanbenefitfromsomerewriting.
Acommonmistakeistodefendaweaksubjectlinebypointingtoagood
response.Abetterwaytothinkisasfollows:Iftheemailgeneratedaprofitable
responsedespiteaweaksubjectline,imaginehowmuchmoremoneyyoucould
havemadebyapplyingthe4Us.
Asoftwaremarketerwrotetotellmehehadsentoutasuccessfulemail
marketingcampaignwiththesubjectlineFreeWhitePaper.Howdoesthis
stackupagainstthe4Us?
Urgent.Thereisnourgencyorsenseoftimeliness.Onascaleof1to4,with4beingthehighestrating,FreeWhitePaperisa1.
Unique.Noteverysoftwaremarketeroffersafreewhitepaper,butalotofthemdo.SoFreeWhitePaperratesonlya2intermsofuniqueness.
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Ultraspecific.CouldthemarketerhavebeenlessspecificthanFreeWhitePaper?Yes,hecouldhavejustsaidfreebonusgift.SowerateFree
WhitePapera2insteadofa1.
Useful.Isupposethereaderissmartenoughtofigurethewhitepapercontainssomehelpfulinformationhecanuse.Ontheotherhand,the
usefulnessisinthespecificinformationcontainedinthepaper,whichisnt
evenhintedatintheheadline.Anddoestherecipient,whoalreadyhastoo
muchtoread,reallyneedyetanotherFreeWhitePaper?Irateita2.
Specifyingthetopicwouldhelp,e.g.,FreeWhitePapershowshowtocut
training
costs
up
to
90%
with
e
learning.
Iurgeyoutogothroughthisexercisewitheveryemailsubjectlineyou
write.Youcanalsoapplytheformulatoothercopy,bothonlineandoffline,
includingdirectmailenvelopeteasers,adheadlines,letterleads,Webpage
headlines,subheads,andbullets.
RatethelineyouvewritteninallfourUs.Thenrewriteitsoyoucan
upgradeyourratingonatleast2andpreferably3or4ofthecategoriesbyat
least1.Thissimpleexercisemayincreasereadershipandresponserates
substantiallyforverylittleeffort.
Section7
ReachYourProspectsonaDeeperLevel:
TheBFDFormulaforUncovering
YourCustomersCoreBuyingComplex
Howwelldoyoureallyknowyourcustomers?
Readingthelistdatacardsisagoodwaytofindoutsomethingaboutthe
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folksyouaremailingto,butitsnotenough.Knowingthatyouarewritingto
farmers,InformationTechnology(IT)professionals,orplumbersisjustthestart.
Youhavetodigdeeper.Buthow?
Towritepowerfulcopy,youhavetogobeyondthedemographicsto
understandwhatreallymotivatesthesepeople:whotheyare,whattheywant,
howtheyfeel,andwhattheirbiggestproblemsandconcernsarethatyour
productcanhelpsolve.
Onedirectmarketertoldme,Wewanttoreachprospectsonthreelevels
intellectual,emotional,andpersonal.
Intellectual
is
the
first
level
and,
while
effective,
not
as
strong
as
the
other
two.Anintellectualappealisbasedonlogice.g.,Buythestockswerecommend
inourinvestmentnewsletterandyouwillbeatthemarketby50to100percent.
Morepowerfulistoreachtheprospectonanemotionallevel.Emotionsthat
canbetappedincludefear,greed,love,vanity,and,forfundraising,benevolence.
Goingbacktoourexampleofastockmarketnewsletter,theemotionalappeal
mightbe,Ouradvicecanhelpyoucutyourlossesandmakemuchmoremoney,
soyoubecomemuchwealthierthanyourfriendsandneighbors.Youllbeableto
paycashforyournextcaraLexus,BMW,oranyluxuryautomobileyoucareto
ownandyoullsleepbetteratnight.
Themostpowerfullyyoucanreachpeopleisonapersonallevel.Again,
fromourexampleofastockmarketnewsletter:Didyouloseasmallfortunein
theApril2000techstockmeltdown?Somuchthatitputyourdreamsof
retirementorfinancialindependenceonhold?Nowyoucangainbackeverything
youlost,rebuildyournetworth,andmakeyourdreamofearlyretirementor
financialindependencecometrue.Alotsoonerthanyouthink.
Toreachyourprospectsonallthreelevelsintellectual,emotional,and
personalyoumustunderstandwhatcopywriterMichaelMastersoncallsthe
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buyersCoreComplex.Thesearetheemotions,attitudes,andaspirationsthat
drivethem,asrepresentedbytheformulaBFDbeliefs,feelings,anddesires:
Beliefs.Whatdoesyouraudiencebelieve?Whatistheirattitudetowardyourproductandtheproblemsorissuesitaddresses?
Feelings.Howdotheyfeel?Aretheyconfidentandbrash?Nervousandfearful?Whatdotheyfeelaboutthemajorissuesintheirlives,businesses,
orindustries?
Desires.Whatdotheywant?Whataretheirgoals?Whatchangedotheywantintheirlivesthatyourproductcanhelpthemachieve?
For
instance,
we
did
this
exercise
with
IT
people,
for
a
company
that
gives
seminarsincommunicationandinterpersonalskillsforITprofessionals.Heres
whatwecameupwithinagroupmeeting:
Beliefs.ITpeoplethinktheyaresmarterthanotherpeople,technologyisthemostimportantthingintheworld,usersarestupid,andmanagement
doesntappreciatethemenough.
Feelings.ITpeopleoftenhaveanadversarialrelationshipwithmanagementandusers,bothofwhomtheyservice.Theyfeelothersdislikethem,look
downuponthem,anddonotunderstandwhattheydo.
Desires.ITpeoplewanttobeappreciatedandrecognized.Theyalsoprefertodealwithcomputersandavoidpeoplewheneverpossible.Andthey
wantbiggerbudgets.
Basedonthisanalysis,particularlythefeelings,thecompanycreateda
directmailletterthatwasitsmostsuccessfulevertopromoteaseminar;
InterpersonalSkillsforITProfessionals.Theratherunusualheadline:
Importantnewsforeverysystemsprofessionalwhohaseverfeltliketellinga
user,Gotohell.
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Beforewritingcopy,writeoutinnarrativeformtheBFDofyourtarget
market.Sharethesewithyourteamandcometoanagreementonthem.Then
writecopybasedontheagreedBFD.
Occasionallyinsightsintotheprospectsdesiresandconcernscanbe
gleanedthroughformalmarketresearch.Forinstance,acopywriterworkingona
cookingoilaccountwasreadingafocusgrouptranscriptandcameacrossthis
commentfromauser:Ifriedchickenintheoilandthenpouredtheoilbackinto
ameasuringcup.Alltheoilwasthereexceptoneteaspoon.
Thiscomment,buriedintheappendixofafocusgroupreport,becamethe
basis
of
a
successful
TV
campaign
dramatizing
the
selling
point
that
food
did
not
absorbtheoilandthereforewasnotgreasywhencookedinit.
VeteranadmanJoeSaccooncehadanassignmenttowriteacampaignfora
newneedleusedbydiabeticstoinjectinsulin.Whatwasthekeysellingpoint?
ThediabeticsSaccotalkedtoallpraisedtheneedlebecauseitwassharp.
Anonuserwouldprobablyviewbeingsharpasanegative.Butifyouhave
evergivenyourselforanyoneelseaninjection,youknowthatsharperneedles
goinsmoother,withnopain.AndSaccowroteasuccessfuladcampaignbased
ontheclaimthattheseneedlesweresharp,thereforeenablingeasier,painfree
insulininjection.
CopywriterDonHauptmanadvises,Startwiththeprospect,notthe
product.WithBFD,youcanquicklygainadeeperunderstandingofyour
prospectsbeforeyouattempttosellthemsomething.Strongermarketing
campaignsusuallyfollow.
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Section8
TipsonUsingTestimonials
Wheneveracustomersendsaletterwithpositivecommentsaboutyour
companyorproduct,immediatelyseekpermissiontousethistestimonialinyour
ads,brochures,directmail,andotherpromotions.
Theeasiestwaytodothisistosendareleaselettertotheclient(along
withaphotocopyofthetestimonialletter,withthepassagesyouwanttoreprint
highlightedinyellow).
Yourreleaselettercanfollowthisbasicformat:
Mr.MikeJones
AdvertisingManager
WorldEnterprises
Anytown,USA
DearMike:
Thanksforyourletterof12/12/87(copyattached). Imglad
yourepleasedwithourproduct!
Idliketoquotefromyourletterintheads,brochures,directmail,
andotherpromotionsweusetomarketourproductwithyour
permission,ofcourse.
IfthisisOKwithyou,wouldyoupleasesignthebottomofthisletter
andsenditbacktomeintheenvelopeenclosed.
Thesecondcopyisforyourfiles.
Manythanks,Mike.
Regards,
JaneSmith
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YES,YOUHAVEMYPERMISSIONTOQUOTEFROMTHE
ATTACHEDLETTERINADS,BROCHURES,MAILANDOTHER
PROMOTIONSUSEDTOMARKETYOURPRODUCT.
Signed____________________Date________________
Ialwaysencloseaselfaddressedstampedreplyenvelopeplusasecond
copyofthepermissionletter(fortherecipientsfiles).
SolicitingTestimonials
Ifyourcustomersdontsendyoulettersofpraise(andmanywont),then
you
can
ask
them
to
give
you
a
testimonial.
How?
Simply
send
a
letter
to
clients
andcustomerswhoarehappywithyourproductorserviceandaskfortheir
comments. HeresaletterIuse(feelfreetocopyoradaptit):
Mr.AlexSamuels
ProductSupervisor
XYZCorporation
Anyplace,USA
DearAlex:
Ihaveafavortoaskofyou.
Imintheprocessofputtingtogetherabookletoftestimonials
acollectionofcommentsaboutmyservices,fromsatisfiedclients
likeyou.
Would
you
please
take
a
few
minutes
to
give
me
your
opinion
of
my
consultingservices?
Theresnoneedtodictatealetterjustjotyourcommentsonthe
backofthisletter,signbelow,andreturntomeintheenclosed
envelope. (Thesecondcopyisforyourfiles).
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IlookforwardtolearningwhatyoulikeaboutmyservicebutI
alsowelcomeanysuggestionsorcriticisms,too.
Manythanks,Alex.
Regards,BobBly
YOUHAVEMYPERMISSIONTOQUOTEFROMMY
COMMENTS,ANDUSETHESEQUOTATIONSINADS,
BROCHURES,MAILANDOTHERPROMOTIONSUSEDTO
MARKETYOURSERVICES.
Signed___________________Date_________________
NotethatIamaskingforanopinioninsteadofatestimonial,andthatI
urgeAlextogivemecriticismsaswellaspositivecomments. Inthisway,Imnot
justaskingforafavor,Imgettinginformationthatwillhelpmeservemyclients
betterinthefuture. Thus,Imnottheonlyonewhoprofits;webothdo.
Ifyousolicittestimonialsfromyoursatisfiedclientsandcustomers,and
youalwaysgetpermissiontouseanyunsolicitedtestimonialsthatpeoplesend
you,youllsoonbuildathicktestimonialfile. Becauseyouvegottenpeopleto
giveyouablanketreleasetousetheircommentsanywayyouchoose,youcan
usethesetestimonialsinanyorallofyourmarketingmaterialsfromadsand
salesletters,tobrochuresandcatalogs.
Onequickandeasywaytousethesetestimonialsissimplytotypethemup
singlespacedandreprintthemonan8by11inchsheetofpaper. Theheadline
reads:
WHAT
THEY
SAY
ABOUT
(your
company
or
product).
If
you
have
a
lot
oftestimonials,youcanprintonthereversesideorgotoasecondsheet. Dont
forgettoincludeyouraddressandphonenumberatthebottomofthepage. Use
thetestimonialsheetasahandout,asanadditionalenclosureindirectmail
packages,orasasupplementtoyoursalesbrochure.
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Alwaysgivethesheetandaduplicateofyourfulltestimonialfiletoanyad
agency,copywriter,ormarketingconsultantyouhire. Itwillbetremendously
helpfultothemwhentheycreateads,brochures,anddirectmailpackagesforyou.
Onusingtestimonials
Usingtestimonialsquotationsfromsatisfiedcustomersandclientsis
oneofthesimplestandmosteffectivewaysofaddingpunchandpowerto
brochure,adanddirectmailcopy.
Buthowdoyougettestimonials? Howdoyouusethem?
Herearesometipsforusingtestimonials:
1.
Always
use
real
testimonials
instead
of
made
up
ones.
Even
the
most
skilled
copywritercanrarelymakeupatestimonialthatcanmatchthesincerityand
credibilityofgenuinewordsofpraisefromarealcustomerorclient.
Ifyouaskacustomertogiveyouatestimonial,andheorshesays,Sure,
justwritesomethingandIllsignit,politelyreply:Gee,Iappreciatethat,but
wouldyoumindjustgivingmeyouropinionsofourproductinyourown
words? Fabricatedorselfauthoredtestimonials(thosewrittenbytheadvertiser
ortheircopywriter)usuallysoundphony;genuinetestimonialsinvariablyhave
theringoftruth.
2. Preferlongtestimonialstoshortones. Manyadvertisersarehookedon
usingveryshorttestimonials. Forinstance:
...fabulous!...
trulyfunny...thoughtprovoking...
...excellent...wonderful...
Ibelievethatwhenpeopleseetheseultrashorttestimonials,theysuspect
thataskillfuleditingjobhasmaskedacommentthatwasnotasfavorableasthe
writermakesitappear. Inmyopinion,longertestimonialssay,twoorthree
sentencesversusasinglewordorphrasecomeacrossasmorebelievable.
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Forexample:
Frankly,Iwasnervousaboutusinganoutsideconsultant. Butyourexcellentservicehas
mademeabeliever! Youcanbesurethatwellbecallingonyourfirmtoorganizeallour
majorsalesconferencesandothermeetingsforus. Thanksforajobwelldone!
Sure,itslonger,butitsomehowseemsmoresincerethanaoneword
superlative. Whichbringsusto....
3. Preferspecific,detailedtestimonialstogeneralorsuperlativetestimonials.
Uponreceivingaletterofpraisefromacustomer,ourinitialreactionistoreadthe
letterandfindthesinglesentencethatdirectlypraisesourcompanyorour
product.
With
a
blue
pencil,
we
extract
the
words
we
think
are
kindest
about
us,
producingablandbitofpufferysuchas:
Weareverypleasedwithyourproduct.
Actually,mosttestimonialswouldbestrongerifweincludedmoreofthe
specific,detailedcommentsourclienthasmadeabouthowourproductorservice
helpedhim. Afterall,theprospectswearetryingtoselltomayhaveproblems
similartotheoneourcurrentcustomersolvedusingourproduct. IfweletMr.
CustomertellMr.Prospecthowourcompanycametohisrescue,hellbehelping
usmakethesale. Forinstance:
WehaveinstalledyournewChemiCoatsystemineachofourbottlinglinesandhave
alreadyexperienceda25percentsavingsinenergyandmaterialcosts. Thankstoyour
system,wehavenowaddedanadditionalproductionlinewithnoincreaseinenergycosts.
Thishasincreasedprofits15percentandalreadypaidbacktheinvestmentinyour
product. Weareverypleasedwithyourproduct.
Again,donttrytopolishthecustomerswordssoitsoundslike
professionaladcopy. Testimonialsareusuallymuchmoreconvincingwhenthey
arenoteditedforstyle.
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4. Usefullattribution. Weveallopeneddirectmailpackagesthatcontained
testimonialsfromJ.B.inArizonaorJimS.,SelfMadeMillionaire. Isuspect
thatmanypeoplelaughatsuchtestimonialsandthinktheyarephony.
Toincreasethebelievabilityforyourtestimonials,attributeeachquotation.
Includethepersonsname,cityandstate,and(ifabusinesscustomer)theirjob
titleandcompany(e.g.,JimK.Redding,vicepresidentofmanufacturing,Divmet
Corporation,Fairfield,NJ). Peoplearemorelikelytobelievethissortoffull
disclosurethantestimonialswhichseemtoconcealtheidentityofthespeaker.
5. Groupyourtestimonials. Therearetwobasicwaystopresenttestimonials:
You
can
group
them
together
in
one
area
of
your
brochure
or
ad,
or
you
can
scatterthemthroughoutthecopy. Athirdalternativeistocombinethetwo
techniques,havingmanytestimonialsinaboxorbuckslipandasmatteringof
othertestimonialsthroughouttherestofyourcopy.
Iveseenbothapproachesworkwell,andthesuccessofthepresentation
depends,inpart,ontheskillofthewriterandthespecificnatureofthepiece. But,
allelsebeingequal,Ipreferthefirstapproach:togroupallyourtestimonialsand
presentthemasasingleblockofcopy. Thiscanbedoneinabox,onaseparate
pageoronaseparatesheet. Myfeelingisthatwhentheprospectreadsahalf
dozenorsotestimonials,onerightafteranother,theyhavemoreimpactand
powerthanwhenthetestimonialsareseparatedandscatteredthroughout
thepiece.
6. Getpermission. Makesureyougetpermissionfromyourcustomerto
reprinthiswordsbeforeincludinghistestimonialinyourcopy.
Isuggestthatyousendaletterquotingthelinesyouwanttoreprintand
askpermissiontoincludetheminads,directmail,brochures,andothermaterials
usedtopromoteyourfirm. NoticeImaskingforageneralreleasethatgivesme
permissiontousethecustomersquotationinallcurrentandfuturepromotions,
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notjustaspecificadorletter. Thisletsmegetmoremileageoutofhisfavorable
commentandeliminatestheneedtoaskpermissioneverytimeIwanttousethe
quoteinanewadorletter.
Abouttheauthor:
BOBBLYisanindependentcopywriterandconsultantwithmore
than20yearsofexperienceinbusinesstobusiness,hightech,industrial,and
directmarketing.
Bobhaswrittencopyforover100clientsincludingNetworkSolutions,
ITTFluidTechnology,MedicalEconomics,Intuit,Business&LegalReports,and
BrooklynUnionGas.AwardsincludeaGoldEchofromtheDirectMarketing
Association,anIMMYfromtheInformationIndustryAssociation,twoSouthstar
Awards,
an
American
Corporate
Identity
Award
of
Excellence,
and
the
Standard
ofExcellenceawardfromtheWebMarketingAssociation.
Heistheauthorofmorethan50booksincludingTheCompleteIdiotsGuide
toDirectMarketing(AlphaBooks)andTheCopywritersHandbook(HenryHolt&
Co.).HisarticleshaveappearedinnumerouspublicationssuchasDMNews,
WritersDigest,AmtrakExpress,Cosmopolitan,InsideDirectMail,andBits&Pieces
forSalespeople.
Bobhaspresentedmarketing,sales,andwritingseminarsforsuchgroups
astheU.S.Army,IndependentLaboratoryDistributorsAssociation,American
InstituteofChemicalEngineers,andtheAmericanMarketingAssociation.
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Healsotaughtbusinesstobusinesscopywritingandtechnicalwritingat
NewYorkUniversity.
Bobwritessalesletters,directmailpackages,ads,emailmarketing
campaigns,brochures,articles,pressreleases,whitepapers,Websites,
newsletters,scripts,andothermarketingmaterialsclientsneedtoselltheir
productsandservicestobusinesses.Healsoconsultswithclientsonmarketing
strategy,mailorderselling,andleadgenerationprograms.
Priortobecominganindependentcopywriterandconsultant,Bobwas
advertisingmanagerforKochEngineering,amanufacturerofprocessequipment.
He
has
also
worked
as
a
marketing
communications
writer
for
Westinghouse
Defense.BobBlyholdsaB.S.inchemicalengineeringfromtheUniversityof
RochesterandhasbeentrainedasaCertifiedNovellAdministrator(CNA).Heis
amemberoftheAmericanInstituteofChemicalEngineersandtheBusiness
MarketingAssociation.
BobhasappearedasaguestondozensofTVandradioshowsincluding
MoneyTalk1350,TheAdvertisingShow,BernardMeltzer,BillBresnan,CNBC,
WinninginBusiness,TheSmallBusinessAdvocateandCBSHardCopy.Hehas
beenfeaturedinmajormediarangingfromtheLATimesandNationsBusinessto
theNewYorkPostandtheNationalEnquirer.
ForaFREECopywritingInformationKit,orafree,noobligationcost
estimateoncopywritingforyournextproject,contact:
BobBly,Copywriter
22EastQuackenbushAvenue,3rdFloor,Dumont,NJ07628
Phone(201)3851220,Fax(201)3851138
Email:[email protected]