Resiliency in Young Children - ChildCareExchange.com · Resiliency research tells us that the ongoing presence of a caring adult in the life of a child can make all the differ-ence

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Child Care Information Exchange 11/99 — 43

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Photograph by Bonnie Neugebauer

Adverse Effects of Witnessing Violence by Victor LaCerva

Relationships and the Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel

Support Resilience by Connecting Children with Nature by Karen Stephens

Stories of Children in Croatia: Resilience and Trauma by Aleksandra Selak Zivkovic

What We Do Matters by Tamar Jacobson (Meyer)

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Child Care Information Exchange ¥ PO Box 3249, Redmond, WA 98073-3249 ¥ (800) 221-2864

Resiliency in Young Children

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Brain Basics

Mounting evidence reveals that the adverse neurologicaleffects of experiencing or witnessing violence are consid-erable. The brain is designed to sense, process, store, andthen act on information related to survival. The more activated a particular area of the brain becomes, the morestimulated it will be to organize and develop Ñ often atthe expense of other areas of the brain. This process isknown as use dependent learning.

Essentially we have three brain structures, composed of amidbrain (which we share with the reptiles), a limbicsystem emotional brain (which we share with the othermammals), and a cortex thinking brain (which is dis-tinctly human). We store memories and information ateach of these sites. The stored material is later activated inseveral ways. We use cognitive memory to recall a phonenumber or a personÕs name. Emotional memory brings onsadness when we hear an oldies song reminiscent of a

long lost love. Relying on spatial memory, we are able tofind our way home without a map. Kinesthetic memory helps us ride a bike even when we havenÕt beenon one for years.

A type of memory we donÕt often think about also exists.It is called state memory or reflexive memory, and it isassociated with the midbrain. Research has shown that aVietnam vet, after hearing a helicopter overhead, mayexhibit an elevated pulse rate and increased blood pres-sure as well as general body tension and irritability for aperiod of time. This constellation of symptoms occursbecause his internal alarm system designed to set off afight-or-flight response has been activated by the statememory he experienced in combat. His body, informed by his midbrain, remembers the trauma of combat,although he may not consciously associate the helicopterwith his battleground experience.

The same phenomenon occurs in children who have beentraumatized. The younger a child is, the more likely she isto internalize a state memory of a traumatic event. Themore often her brainÕs fight-or-flight response is stimu-lated with repeated exposures to trauma, the moreenhanced and turned on her midbrain functions will be. A toddler who has been harshly punished or who haswatched mom being beaten by dad, for example, will, in a moment reminiscent of the trauma, very quickly passfrom a state of relative calm to one of either vigilance,alarm, fear, or terror. Correspondingly, her body willprepare to either run or do battle, and her pulse rate willincrease significantly, indicating precisely where she is onthe response-to-threat continuum. The traumatizedtoddler has, like the Vietnam vet, internalized a state


Adverse Effectsof Witnessing

Violence

by Victor LaCerva

Victor LaCerva, MD, has been activelyworking in violence prevention for

more than 12 years. He currently ismedical director of the Family Health

Bureau, New Mexico Department ofHealth, and holds a clinical faculty

appointment with the Department ofPediatrics at the University of NewMexico Medical School. He has two

daughters who constantly teach himwhat he most needs to know aboutraising children in a violent world.

Victor cares deeply about preventing violence and believes that solutionsare found by strengthening what is already good within ourselves, our

families, our communities, and our culture.

memory. Her physiology has been altered as a result ofher exposure to violence. With repeated exposure, herbaseline pulse rate will be reset at increasingly higherlevels, and her brain development will be adverselyaffected.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Infants and young children who repeatedly experience fear-provoking situations eventuallybegin showing signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSDis, in essence, a persistent trig-gering of the alarm system by an exaggerated state memory.What was originally a protective bodily response has becomedetrimental. PTSD is typicallyaccompanied by three patternsof behavior:

■ Recurrent and intrusiverecollections, also called flash-backs, in which a threateningevent is relived with all oneÕssenses. These recollections oftenmanifest as nightmares or arepetitive reenactment of thetraumatic events during play.Children whose play becomesfocused on trauma have feweropportunities to engage in formsof play that stimulate braindevelopment in areas other than the midbrain.

■ Avoidance of stimuli ornumbing of general responsive-ness to the environment. In thefirst instance, children willbecome extremely withdrawnand cautious in their play. In the second, they may space outwhen asked about a behaviorrelated to the original trauma.Having observed that adults areunable to restrain themselves,the children may believe theycannot learn to control their ownbehavior. They may also blamethemselves for post-traumatic

events, and out of fear and inadequacy, shut down com-pletely. In addition, they will most likely avoid triggers Ñkey reminders of the trauma that elicit intense distress. Aninfant may pull away from someone with a beard, forexample, or a young child may refuse to go to a park withrope swings.

■ Persistent symptoms of increased arousal. Childrenmay experience night terrors, hypervigilance, frequentstartle responses, or sudden angry outbursts. Unable to


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Post Traumatic Stress Disorderin Children Exposed to Violence

PTSD is a continuation and an exaggeration of the normal protective fight orflight response. In the bodyÕs attempt to protect itself, symptoms appear whichcan be destructive, especially in children.

Symptoms of PTSD include recurring intrusive recollection of the traumaticevent, persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma or numbing of general responsiveness, and persistent symptoms of increased arousal andphysiological hyperarousal.

A child with PTSD may appear anxious, behaviorally impulsive, hypervigilant,motorically hyperactive, withdrawn or depressed, have sleep difficulties, haveincreased heart rate or blood pressure.

Diagnostic labels given to a child with PTSD include attention deficit hyper-activity disorder, conduct disorders, anxiety disorders, mood disorders.

Factors important in the development of PTSD following trauma include thenature of the trauma, degree of threat, available support system, availability ofearly intervention, and sense of control.

Children exposed to violence thus may have differences in baseline state ofarousal, differences in cognitive processing, over-reading of nonverbal cues andunder-reading of verbal information.

What we need to do to help children resolve PTSD:

1. Realize it is a normal reaction to crazy circumstances, and deal with the anxiety and fear as it arises.

2. Mobilize support and educate family and teachers on what to expect.

3. Cognitive focus on how we explain to ourselves and others what happened.

4. Consistent, predictable nurturance and safety.

concentrate, due to sleep deprivation and the constantsearch for clues to a threatening situation, children oftenhave difficulty in school.

In summary, infants, toddlers, or other children whoexperience or witness violence at home or on the street are apt to feel fear, anger, powerlessness, guilt, confu-sion, despair, sadness, or shame. These feelings are mostoften expressed through bodily pains and acting-out orwithdrawn behaviors. Changes in the brain result inbehavioral characteristics that are detrimental to learningand development (see Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in Children Exposed to Violence, page 45).

Effects on Caregivers

Parents living in violent settings experience stress, whichfurther affects their childrenÕs development. Many par-ents, unable to protect their children from the violence,develop a debilitating sense of helplessness during theseepisodes and become increasingly overprotective in otheraspects of child care. Some become so immersed in theirown grief that they are unable to meet their childrenÕsneeds for comfort. Others, wrestling with their own trau-matic responses, become demanding, irritable, and angrybecause their children are unable to help them. Violence in the household can take an even heavier toll on the caretaker-child relationship. Recurrent outbreaks of rageand abuse may bring back painful memories for parentswho prefer not to deal with the past, causing them to withdraw further from their children. Living with violence

can also produce depression, in which case a parentÕs TLCturns to Talk less, Look sad, and CanÕt control mood swings.Depressive states have devastating consequences, particu-larly for young infants, who are programmed to interactwith lively, talkative, and consistently caring adults.Infants who experience the unholy triad of early exposureto family violence, substance abuse, and depression ineffect have a triple negative impact on their developingbrain.

When the sociological incubators in which children areevolving become so damaged, service providers mustorganize effective responses. Current responses, as weknow, are pitifully inadequate. Due to the failure of earlyidentification, fragmented intervention, and a dearth ofmental health resources, we are left with a large pool ofuntreated victims of violence, each of whom invariablyexperiences more neglect, unpredictability, chaos, andviolence.

The Action Agenda

The challenge before us is to begin viewing victims ofviolence through the lens of social ecology, and to buildsolid inroads into this previously impenetrable landscape.


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Stability, Predictability, and Information!

A person that is calm, deliberate, and in controlwill significantly calm the fearful child. Use familiar adults to help calm the child.

Tell the child who you are, what you are doing, and what you will be doing. Be a play-by-playannouncer.

Tell the child what happened in simple age-appropriate words. Let him know someone is taking care of the other people. Repeat often.

The way in which you talk is as important as theactual words. Children read nonverbal cues morethan hear words in traumatic situations.

Important Messages for Children(EASY)

E Address child at her eye level.

A Talk with simple, direct age-appropriate language.

S Use a soft voice and calm, neutral tone; nonthreatening, comforting body language.

Y Yield, for a moment, to seeing the situation through the childÕs eyes.

Helpful phrases:

This must be scary for you.Who can you talk to about this?ItÕs not your fault.It is not your responsibility to solve the problem.WeÕll do everything we can to keep you safe.

Be the fair witness: What happened to you isnÕt right,or fair, or your fault, and things will get better.

Resiliency research tells us that the ongoing presence of acaring adult in the life of a child can make all the differ-ence. If we examine the various domains of a childÕs life,we can build on this concept and support children throughthe trauma of witnessing violence.

■ Crisis support. All fam-ilies exposed to violencemust be given on-the-spotassistance. Front-line lawenforcement and emer-gency services personnelmust understand how tominimize the adverseeffects of witnessing (seeWorking with a TraumatizedChild, page 46).

■ Recognition andimmediate referral.Instances of suspectedchild abuse and sexualassault need to beacknowledged, and children living in violenthouseholds need to beplaced in the hands ofknowledgeable case-management teams.

■ Improved managementof the violent scene.Children should beremoved from the scene as quickly as possible. Ifthey must be interviewed,it should take place once, in a session conducted collaboratively by lawenforcement and healthprofessionals; this is especially important incases of sexual trauma.Follow-up services mustbe provided to assist children in processing theevent and to minimize the onset of PTSD (see ImportantMessages for Children, page 46).

■ Stress debriefing for all service providers. On-the-scene teams as well as follow-up teams require assistancein processing the complexity of emotions and high stress

levels that accrue from intervening in trauma. The growthof Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD) capability forservice providers in various communities has been encour-aging. Debriefing will help these individuals deepen theirunderstanding and enhance their readiness to help othervictims in the future.

■ Security and consis-tency. For improvedchances of recovery,children exposed toviolence require closerelationships with caringadults; consistent andreliable child care rou-tines; and safe, familiarenvironments (see Principles of Support).

■ A fundamental shift in how we handle theresponse to domesticviolence cases, wherechildren are witnessingbut are not physicallyabused. Many of the pro-grams around the countryset up to specifically assist children witnessingviolence find that thispopulation represents their greatest caseload. Yet, in most areas of thecountry, there is no ade-quate response to thesechildren, and social ser-vices is most often notinvolved unless there isphysical abuse. A fewmodel programs arepaving the way by coordinating a combineddomestic violence andsocial service interven-tion.

PTSD and compromised brain development can be pre-vented through early support and intervention Ñ both ofwhich are best provided by a strong community responseto violent events. With well-integrated teamwork, we canalso reduce the suffering of these untreated victims of violence.


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Principles of Support(Adapted from Boston Medical Center)

Healing begins with relationships. The adultnurturing relationship is the most powerful tool wehave to help children heal from traumatic events.

Help children know what to expect at home andat school. Provide a highly structured, predictableenvironment for children. Establish and reinforceroutines.

Give children permission to tell their stories. Ithelps children to talk about the violence in theirlives with trusted adults.

Give parents help and support. Help parentsunderstand that young children think differentlythan adults and need careful explanations aboutscary events.

Foster childrenÕs self-esteem. Children who livewith violence need reminders that they are lovable,competent, and important.

DonÕt try it alone. Identify and collaborate withother caregivers in the childÕs life.

Teach alternatives to violence. Help children learnconflict resolution skills and nonviolent ways ofplaying.

Model nurturing in our interactions with children.Serve as role models for children by resolving issuesin respectful, nonviolent ways.

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individuals, including parents, grandparents, other rela-tives, nannies, child care providers, and preschool teach-ers. These Òselective attachmentsÓ offer children thechance to develop an internal model of security about theworld, and allow their minds to develop a sense ofemotional well-being and psychological resilience. In TheDeveloping Mind: Toward a Neurobiology of InterpersonalExperience, I propose a view of how these attachmentsshape the structure and function of the brain, startingearly in life and continuing throughout the lifespan.

The Truth About Attachment

Attachment relationships are important in the unfoldingof the emotional and social development of the childduring the early years of life. Development is an ongoingprocess, and so close, emotionally involving relationshipscontinue to influence us throughout the lifespan. Theimportance of the first years may be that the brain struc-tures that mediate social and emotional functioning beginto develop during this time in a manner that appears tobe dependent upon interpersonal experience.

Brain Development

Patterns of interpersonal communication may have apowerful effect on how the early brain develops in very

specific ways. There are circuits that are responsible foremotional and social functioning (not just perception andmotor action) that come Òon-lineÓ during the first years oflife. While this period may not be the Òlast chanceÓ forongoing development in these areas, it is a time whenbasic circuitry is being established for the first time Ñespecially in a region called the orbitofrontal cortex. Booksthat discount the importance of the early years, or ofattachment in general, fail to examine what we knowabout the development and the possible neurobiologicalfoundations of emotional and social processes.

PATTERNS (not quantity, but quality) of interactive expe-rience for the young childÕs life are important in shapingboth pruning (the removal of existing neural connections)and possible synaptic growth during the early years oflife. The orbitofrontal region, which is central for a num-ber of processes such as emotion regulation, empathy, andautobiographical memory, may have an experience-influ-enced development that depends upon the nature ofinterpersonal communication during the early years oflife. Interactions with Òolder people,Ó with attachment figures, are essential during this time to create the contin-gent, collaborative communication necessary for theproper emotional and social development of the child. Itis not a matter of overwhelming ÒenrichmentÓ or exces-sive sensory stimulation that is needed during this time,but one of attunement between adult and child. This collaborative, attuned communication establishes patternsof interaction by which the caregiver can help to regulatethe childÕs positive and negative emotional states. Theseemotion-regulating interactions are required for the experientially influenced maturation of the infantÕs developing emotional and social brain.

Attachment Relationships and Emotional Communication

At its emotional communication core, attachment relation-ships are about the sharing and amplification of positiveemotional states (such as joy and elation) and the sharingand reduction of negative states (such as fear or sadness).


Relationships and theDeveloping Mind

by Daniel J. Siegel

Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is director of the Center for Human

Development in Los Angeles,California; medical director of

Infant and Preschool Service andassociate clinical professor of

psychiatry, UCLA; and director ofinterdisciplinary studies, Children’sMental Health Alliance Foundation,

New York, New York.

These emotional transactions allow a child to Òfeel felt,Ó tohave the experience that another individual is experienc-ing a similar state of mind. Such nonverbal, attunedcommunication involves the adultÕs sensitivity to thechildÕs signals, such as tone of voice, gestures, and facialexpression.

In addition to these empathic connections, secure attach-ments may involve Òreflective dialoguesÓ in which theadult is able to explore, in words, the state of mind of thechild. Such discussions can focus attention on the feelings,perceptions, thoughts, memories, intentions, beliefs, andattitudes of the child and caregiver. The Òco-constructionÓof stories about lived events can also help the child andadult to focus verbally on the subjective, internal worldsof the child and others. These interpersonal interactionsallow the attachment figure to help the child to elaborateon her own and othersÕ internal experiences and thenature of the human mind. Such reflective dialogues andmutually constructed stories, I believe, are at the core ofhow secure attachments encourage a sharing of states aswell as a deepening of the nonverbal sense of Òfeelingfelt.Ó

This collaborative, contingent communication also fostersthe capacity for self-reflection and the awareness of oneÕsown and othersÕ emotions Ñ the heart of empathic development. Furthermore, when such contingent,attuned communication is disrupted, the timely interac-tive repair of these ruptures allows the child to have asense of Òwell-being,Ó knowing that misunderstandingsor missed opportunities for connection can be correctedand a sense of ÒjoiningÓ reestablished. When emotions areespecially uncomfortable, staying with a child and help-ing him to understand his experience may be crucial inproviding the interactive experiential learning required toknow that emotions can be experienced, communicated,and useful in understanding himself. These are all a partof building emotional competence. With these verbal andnonverbal attuned experiences, the child can developwhat I have termed Òresponse flexibilityÓ: the capacity totake in a complex array of internal and external informa-tion, sort through it, and make responses that are mindfuland not merely reflexive and impulsive.

In these ways, interactive communication allows the childto first use the attachment figure to ÒregulateÓ his internalemotional and external behavioral responses. As thesepatterns of interactions directly shape the childÕs develop-ing brain, they become the foundation for the capacity formore autonomous Òself-regulation.Ó Because the areas ofthe brain, including the orbitofrontal cortex, responsiblefor emotional and social functioning are first developing

in the early years of life, this is a time when attachmentexperiences can shape an individualÕs patterns of self-regulation. This emotional and social learning, then, maycreate ÒpredispositionsÓ in a child that have their originsin patterns of attachment.

Adults in Children’s Lives

As parents, we are faced with the challenges of modernlife in which information bombards us daily on what todo and not to do with our children. One lesson from thesefindings of neurobiology and from attachment studies isthat relationships with a selective few adults, not sensoryflooding, are the most important form of experience forthe growing mind. Adults who are sensitive to a childÕssignals, who can offer consistent and predictable behav-iors, and who care about the childÕs internal experiencesare those that are likely to foster a secure attachment.

A child may have a different form of attachment witheach caregiver, depending on the nature of the specificpatterns in communication and interaction. Attachment isa relationship measure, not a feature of the child alone.Some authors argue, in fact, that having several selectiveattachments may in fact be good for the child in order tohave a variety of close, personal experiences. This varietymay confer a sense of resilience by preparing her for thecomplex world of other individuals outside the home.

In this manner, a selective few other caring adults Ñsuchas grandparents, child care teachers, nannies, and otheremotionally involved, dedicated individuals Ñ may serveas attachment figures. A child will seek proximity to sucha figure, go to him when upset for a sense of reassuranceas a Òsafe haven,Ó and develop an internal model of thatperson and their relationship to give a sense of a Òsecurebase.Ó By 18 months, the child will develop a sense ofÒevocative memory,Ó in which it is believed an internalmultisensory image of the attachment figure can beevoked at times of stress. This sense of the attachmentfigureÕs face, smell, and voice, and the patterns of inter-personal communication that characterize the childÕs rela-tionship with the individual, all can be retrieved whenneeded as an image of that attachment figure. Clearly, relationships that are ÒproblematicÓ will not serve tosoothe the child as well as those that are Òsecure.Ó

Interpersonal Relationships

We can summarize several basic elements of interpersonalrelationships that are likely to foster emotional well-beingand psychological resilience. As a parent, providing a lifefor your child in which others can share in the joys and


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challenges of being an attachment figure can be an impor-tant process. Grandparents, child care teachers, educators,and other individuals in the role of an attachment figuremay find the following ideas useful in considering howtheir relationship with your child may foster healthydevelopment. You may also find that these suggestionsmay be useful for understanding the impact of close,interpersonal relationships of all sorts throughout thelifespan. These suggestions are based on findings fromattachment research and other studies in the field ofdevelopmental psychology and are supported by independent but convergent findings from variousdomains in the field of neurobiology.

1 Collaboration. Secure relationships are based oncollaborative, contingent communication. The non-

verbal signals of each member of an attuned dyad (or pair)are directly responsive in quality and timing with eachother. These attuned communications often have theirfoundation in the nonverbal signals that are sharedbetween two individuals. Such a shar-ing creates a joiningof two minds and a basic level of ÒprimaryÓ emotions.Each person may come to Òfeel feltÓ by the other. Someindividuals may find such joining experiences exhilaratingand easy to create; others may find them uncomfortable orunfamiliar and be unable to participate in such an intimateÒconnectingÓ experience. Relationships that are Òconnect-ingÓ and allow for collaboration appear to offer children awealth of interpersonal closeness that supports the devel-opment of many domains, including social, emotional, andcognitive functioning.

2 Reflective Dialogue. Secure attachmentrelationships may involve the verbal sharing of a

focus on the internal experience of each member of thedyad. Internal experience, or Òstates of mind,Ó can involveemotions, perceptions, thoughts, intentions, memories,ideas, beliefs, and attitudes. By directly focusing on theseaspects of mental life, the adult can create a sense thatsubjective experience is both important and able to becommunicated and shared. In this manner, the ÒmindÓitself becomes a central focus of sharing in the discussionsby two minds.

3 Repair. When attuned communication is dis-rupted, as it inevitably is, repair of the rupture can

be an important part of reestablishing the connectionwithin the dyad. Repair is healing as well as important inhelping to teach the child that life is filled with inevitablemoments of misunderstandings and missed connectionsthat can be identified and connection created again. AnadultÕs pride may at times impair the movement towardrepair and leave the child isolated in what may be a

shameful state of disconnection. Intense uncomfortableemotional states in the child or parent may lead to adisconnection in collaborative communication. Prolongeddisconnection, especially if combined with hostility andhumiliation, can have significant negative effects on achildÕs developing sense of self.

4 Coherent Narratives. The connection of thepast, present, and future is one of the central

processes of the mind in the creation of self-awareness.The coherence of an adultÕs own life story has actuallybeen found to be the most robust predictor of the childÕsattachment to that adult. Adults can teach children aboutthe world of self and others by joining with them in the co-construction of stories about life events. These storiesfocus on activities as well as the mental life of the charac-ters. In so doing, the adult is both collaborating in the con-struction of reality for the child as well as giving her thevery tools she needs to make sense of the internal andexternal worlds in which we all live.

5 Emotional Communication. Attachmentfigures can amplify and share in the positive, joyful

experience of living. These heightened moments of sharinga sense of vitality are important in creating the foundationfor a positive attitude toward self and others. Equallyimportant is the attachment figureÕs ability to remain con-nected to the child during moments of uncomfortableemotion. Helping a child learn that he will not be emotion-ally abandoned during these moments and that he canlearn to understand and soothe his painful emotional stateis an important role for the attachment figure to play. Suchinteractive forms of emotional communication may be atthe core of how interpersonal relationships help to shapethe ongoing emotional and social development for thegrowing mind of the child.

References and Suggested Reading

Siegel, D. J. (1999). The developing mind: Toward a neurobiol-ogy of interpersonal experience. New York: Guilford Press.

Schore, A. N. (1994). Affect regulation and the origin of theself: The neurobiology of emotional development. Mahwah, NJ:Erlbaum.

Carlson, E. A. (1998). A prospective longitudinal study ofdisorganized/disoriented attachment. Child Development,69, 1107-1128.

Cassidy, J., & Shaver, P. R. (Eds.) (1999). Handbook of attachment. New York: Guilford Press.

Boris, N. W., Aoki, Y., & Zeanah, C. H. (1999). Thedevelopment of infant-parent attachment: Considerationsfor assessment. Infants and Young Children, 11, 1-10.


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p We see children daily trying to beat the odds, trying tostay sane amidst insane circumstances. The stresses

vary, but they typically fall under the umbrella of familydysfunction, including domestic violence, drug and alco-hol abuse, and child abuse.

I donÕt go a week without hearing someone say, ÒItÕs awonder that child makes it.Ó And yet, most do. Despiterole modeling to the contrary, they become competent,responsible adults, capable of loving and caring for a family of their own. They donÕt repeat the cycle of dys-function.

There are many people who prove that one can be a suc-cessful adult even having lived a challenged childhood.How do they do it? What makes them resilient enough tomaintain positive attitudes and behaviors in spite of hav-ing seen the worst in life during their most vulnerabletime of life?

Researchers have identified multiple factors that contrib-ute to childrenÕs resilience. I will focus on one that is oftenoverlooked (or perhaps just taken for granted): nature. IÕllillustrate with two people you may be familiar with.

For instance, does Margaret Wise Brown ring a bell? Itshould. Her 100+ picture books include classics, such asGoodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny, both still popularin bookstores today. For over 50 years, her warm, sensitive,and touching stories have set the stage for cozy, affection-ate readings in millions of families.

But sadly, Leonard Marcus, her biographer, states Ms.BrownÕs own childhood didnÕt feature such stable, respon-sive family interactions. In contrast, it was isolated andchaotic. She experienced a Òvoid left unattended by herparents.Ó Her father traveled frequently for extended peri-ods, and when he was home, his manner was described asÒabsent.Ó Her mother was preoccupied and disabled withillness. When in school, Margaret moved four times byseventh grade. Not the nurturing one would hope for. Andyet, Margaret matured to become one of our most beloved,prolific childrenÕs writers. What provided her emotionalsupport when her family structure was so weak? Marcussays: ÒAn emotionally resilient, sanguine young child,Margaret discovered a refuge of sorts in nature. Deep-seated affections were transferred onto the landscape, tothe small animals she observed and kept as pets, to wild-flowers, trees, sky, and water.Ó

HereÕs another example of a resilient child who ended upcontributing much to many. Due to an undetected visionproblem, he lived the first six years of his life seeing nomore than three inches in front of him. Partly as a result,he felt socially isolated. He recollects: ÒI was more or less aloner growing up in Oregon. Walking in the woods or bythe river strengthened and comforted me. I found solace inthe company of nature Ñ so full of wonder, constant vari-ety, and amazing life: the soft sounds of the wind in thetrees, the river rushing past rocks and fallen trees, the cur-rent burbling and swishing Ñ all this brought peace andrefreshment to my soul. For hours, I watched the riverrush by, with small eddies and mysterious upwelling clearpatches, pushed up from the depths by great unseen rocksand forms. A constant twittering and chirping of the birdsfilled the trees and brush; overlaying it all, the constantchanging sweet fragrance of moss, trees, earth, and theplay of gentle rain.Ó

That boy, who lived in a fog-like early childhood, becamethe renown nature photographer, Christopher Burkett.Nature sustained his spirit in lonely times. His gift in


Support Resilience by ConnectingChildren with Nature

by Karen Stephens

In 1980, Karen Stephens becamedirector of Illinois State University Child Care Center and instructor inchild development for ISU Family

and Consumer Sciences Department.She writes a weekly newspaper

column, “Keeping the Young at Heart,” and is the author of

a high school textbook,The Child Care Professional.


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Why Nature Comforts Stressed Children

Earmarks of a dysfunctional family can help us understandwhy nature has a special way of soothing children underduress. Hostile home environments are often unpredictableand explosive. Children describe walking on eggs, fearingwhat might happen if they make a wrong move or makeeven the most minor mistake.

ThereÕs an absence of routine, ritual, or pattern. Nothing isreliable, no one can be counted on. Depending on a par-entÕs emotional resources, children may not get meals,clean clothes, or even be guaranteed lights, water, orwarmth. (Utilities are often shut off when bills arenÕt paidfor various reasons, including job failure, spending moneyon drugs and alcohol, or gambling.) Children in chaoticfamilies arenÕt even guaranteed a good nightÕs sleep,especially when parentsÕ fights bring police pounding onthe door.

When adultsÕ needs reign supreme, thereÕs little chance forchildren to get the attention, affection, or comfort theyneed for their own emotional and social well-being.Children are often threatened into silence, or are frightenedof divulging family secrets that bring on shame, so theybecome isolated from extended family, classmates, andneighbors. They donÕt invite others home fearing a scenemight erupt.

When a child lives in such conditions, escaping to nature isoften described as haven. Nestling in the privacy of a groveof trees provides a sense of security and protection. Peaceand quiet amidst shrubs rank high when back in the housedishes are flying and cussing taints any air worth breath-ing.

Predictable rhythms, patterns, and cycles of nature relaxand soothe children wrought with anxiety. Leisurelywatching a spider spin a web, willow branches sway withthe wind, a bird feed her nestlings, or even icicles melt in awarming sun helps focus a childÕs attention on amazingand beautiful details Ñ details that not only distract buttemper the heated emotions that boil over during familystrife.

A whimsical imagination that allows children to emotion-ally connect with plants and animals can be a productivecoping tool as children try to survive deplorable livingconditions. Resilient adults often tell me that by regularly

retreating to nature they came to consider trees, flowers,and wildlife their most steadfast friends. Some confidedtheir troubles to wildlife they encountered, like foragingrabbits and squirrels. They imagined them to be com-passionate listeners and accepting allies. One woman toldme that as a stressed second grader she made up songsabout her woes and sang to trees.

Spending hours outdoors with nature allows children toleisurely and intimately experience natureÕs gifts. Whetherthey build forts for fantasy (or literal escape) or simplywade streams hunting for clamshells and tadpoles, theworld of nature shelters children, blanketing them with aprotective shield, helping them fend off the stress of irrational, illogical, and unfathomable adult behavior.

Connecting Children to Nature

Since nature can be so helpful to children, what can we doto ensure them access as often as possible? Just as challeng-ing, what nature experiences can we provide within theconfines of group care Ñ a system of care that is so riddledwith liability concerns that caregivers are tempted to wrapchildren in cotton and leave them on a shelf until their par-ents arrive!

Nabhan and Trimble, in The Geography of Childhood: WhyChildren Need Wild Places, make a strong case that directcontact with nature is a basic human need, not a luxurychildren can afford to go without. HereÕs the type of natureexperiences they suggest we offer: Ò[Children] need time towander, to be outside, to nibble on icicles and watch ants,to build with dirt and sticks in a hollow of earth, to lie backand contemplate the clouds and chickadees. These simpleacts forge the connections that define a land of oneÕs ownÑ home and refuge for both girls and boys. . . . They formthe secure foundation to which we return again and againin our struggle to be strong and connected, to be com-plete.Ó

They remind us that children need a bounty of experienceswith the natural world, especially through spontaneous,hands-on backyard/neighborhood adventures. Althoughcontact with nature through schools, nature centers, andmuseums are helpful, they cite three key strategies forintroducing children to nature: opportunities for intimateinvolvement with plants and animals, firsthand exposureto a variety of wild animals carrying out their routinebehaviors in natural habitats, and adults sharing knowledge of habitat and natural history with children.

While a wonderful experience, a once-a-year visit to thezoo or nature preserve isnÕt enough wilderness exposure toallow children to develop an authentic, strong connectionto nature. In fact, when IÕve talked to resilient naturelovers, exotic wildlife adventures did not stand out in theirchildhood memories. Over and over, they mention daily,or at the very least weekly, experiences with familiar nat-ural resources in their immediate neighborhood, whetherthey lived in the city, the suburb, or the rural countryside.Accessible nature was far more important than flashy,exotic nature featured in cages or glass display cases.Spontaneous and regular contact with nature lead toattachments that resonate to an emotional core, usually fora lifetime.

So, the good news is that no matter how meager ournatural surroundings, they are the best place to startconnecting kids to nature. And lest you think otherwise,the writings of naturalist Rachel Carson caution: ÒEven ifyou are a city dweller, you can find some place, perhaps apark or golf course, where you can observe the mysteriousmigrations of the birds and the changing seasons. Andwith your child you can ponder the mystery of a growingseed, even if it be only one planted in a pot of earth in thekitchen window.Ó

How should you begin your nature discoveries? Childrenare naturally close to the ground, so looking down is agood place to start! Dig in dirt, play in mud puddles, traceearthworm tracks with fingers, peer at the plants in side-walk cracks, lay on your tummies observing molemounds, roll on your back to watch a bird fly back andforth during nest building.

Get to know neighborhood trees, shrubs, flowers, wildlife, and waterways. Become thoroughly acquainted with all the creatures that share your immediate habitat.Go outside to play, daily and in all seasons. Note seasonalweather and encourage children to observe how trees,shrubs, birds, insects, and wildlife respond and survive.

Model curiosity about, and gentleness for, the earth andeven its smallest, most unattractive creatures. Respect theirhomes as you would a humanÕs; children will learn to dothe same.

Enhance your play yard to showcase the beauty of nature.Plant a variety of trees and shrubs that will change season-ally as well as provide shelter and food for natureÕswildlife.

Make space for gardens! Vegetable gardens nurture thebody. Herb gardens tickle the nose and taste buds.

Butterfly and hummingbird gardens touch the imaginationand soul. Gardens of ornamental grasses dance and singwith the wind, encouraging children to stop, listen, andsavor.

Make moving air tangible to the eye and ear; hang bannersand flags, make wind chimes from natural items, placewhirligigs and wind petals in flower pots.

Create cozy nooks and crannies where children can visitthe daily business of nature, whether it be a spider spin-ning a web, a squirrel gathering nuts, a robin pecking forworms, or a milkweed pod swelling to release featheryseeds.

Include spaces that allow children to climb on and digaround natural objects such as small crabapple trees, fallenlogs, steppingstones, and boulders. Create small bermsand rolling hills children can roll and sled down. Providelarge spaces for digging in dirt and sand. Include a watersource, with hose and buckets, to increase discoveryopportunities.

Bring nature indoors as much as you humanely, responsi-bly, and authentically can. Incorporate it throughout yourclassroom. Have children pick flowers for their parentsÕsign-in table. Ask them to collect items from nature tocreate centerpieces for mealtime. Set up an aquarium andmake a terrarium. Hang prisms in windows to play withsunlight. Hang wind chimes for soothing nap-time sounds,or nature mobiles for nap-time gazing. If you have thespace and time to keep a class pet safe, clean, and healthy,by all means include one!

Encourage parents to include nature in their childrenÕslives by educating them on local nature preserves andhabitat restoration sites. Inform them of zoos, sciencemuseums, planetariums, greenhouses, state and localparks, botanical gardens, and natural history museumsthey can visit on weekends and vacations. In your news-letter, share simple activities parents can enjoy withchildren. Include parents in classroom nature activities.Invite them along as volunteers when taking field trips toan aquarium or childrenÕs zoo.

Resources and Tools for Connecting withNature

Children come equipped with the best tools for experienc-ing nature: their insatiable senses! Sight, hearing, smell,touch, and taste all come into play when children activelyexplore nature.


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While not necessary, there are other tools that enrich chil-drenÕs sensory experiences. They donÕt have to be elabo-rate, just make sure theyÕre safe and in good repair.Exploration tools include (but are not limited to): magnify-ing glass; paper bags or small buckets for specimen collec-tion; binoculars; bug cases; Polaroid camera; sketch padand pencil; simple identification books for trees, birds,flowers, etc.; paper and crayons for rubbings; metal spoonsor small hand shovels for digging; sticks for prodding.School-agers will find videotaping animal behavior orclouds interesting.

But, by far, childrenÕs most important resource forresilience is a teacher, mentor, or guide who will spendmeaningful time with them Ñ someone who will enthusi-astically and safely introduce them to a natural worldbrimming with beauty and endless fascinations, an engag-ing world worth enjoying, worth savoring, and worth pro-tecting.

Rachel Carson said it most eloquently: ÒIf a child is to keepalive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companion-ship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscoveringwith him the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world welive in.Ó You can be that adult, that cherished someone achild chooses to walk beside on her natural path toresilience. Thank your lucky stars for the privilege.

Resources for Nature Activities

Baille, P., & Bartee, H. (Eds.) Earthworms. Newsletter of EarlyChildhood Outdoors Institute, 1313 North Bellevue Boulevard,Bellevue, NE 68005-4012, (402) 731-3140. E-mail: [email protected].

Carlson, L. (1995). Green thumbs: A kidÕs activity guide to indoor and outdoor gardening. Chicago, IL: Chicago Review Press.

Chichester, P. (1997). The National Wildlife Federation book of familynature activities: 50 simple projects and activities in the natural world.New York: Henry Holt and Co.

Denne, J., & Hand, J. (1994). Exploring the forest with GrandforestTree. Montpelier, VT: Common Roots Press.

Docents of Nursery Nature Walks. (1992). Trails, tails & tidepools inpails. Santa Monica, CA: Nursery Nature Walks.

Duensing, E. (1997). Talking to fireflies, shrinking the moon: Natureactivities for all ages. Golden, CO: Fulcrum Publishing.

Fiarotta, P. (1975). Snips & snails & walnut whales. New York:Workman Publishing.

Katz, A. (1986). Naturewatch: Exploring nature with your children.New York: Addison-Wesley Publishing Co.

Kuntz, L. (1996). The naturalistÕs handbook: Activities for youngexplorers. Layton, UT: Gibs-Smoth Publisher.

Lingelbach, J. (1986). Hands-on nature: Information and activities for exploring environment with children. Woodstock, VT: Vermont Institute of Natural Science.

Nickelsburg, J. (1976). Nature activities for early childhood. MenloPark, CA: Addison-Wesley.

Sisson, E. A. (1982). Nature activities with children of all ages.Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc.

A Sense of Place: Books That ConnectChildren to Nature

Bouchard, D. (1995). If youÕre not from the prairie. . . New York:Atheum Books.

Brucharc, J. (1993). Fox song. New York: Philomel Books.

Burton, V. L. (1942). The little house. Boston, MA: Houghton Mif-flin.

Carlstrom, N. W. (1992). Northern lullaby. New York: PhilomelBooks.

Chall, M. W. (1992). Up north at the cabin. New York: Lothrop, Lee& Shepard Books.

Cherry, L. (1997). FluteÕs journey: The life of a wood thrush. NewYork: Harcourt Brace & Co.

Cole, S. (1991). When the rain stops. New York: Lothrop, Lee &Shepard Books.

Downing, J. (1989). White snow, blue feather. New York: BradburyPress.

Dvorak, D. Jr. (1994). A sea of grass: The tall grass prairie. New York:Macmillan Publishing.

Esbensen, B. J. (1996). Echoes for the eye: Poems to celebrate patternsin nature. New York: HarperCollins Publisher.

Fleming, D. (1996). Where once there was a wood. New York: HenryHolt & Co.

George, J. C. (1995). Everglades. New York: HarperCollins Publisher.

George, W. T. (1989). Box turtle at Long Pond. New York: Greenwillow Books.

George, W. T., & George, L. B. (1988). Beaver at Long Pond. New York: Greenwillow Books.

Goudey, A. (1959). Houses from the sea. New York: ScribnersPublishing.

Howell, W. C. (1999). I call it sky. New York: Walker & Co.


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Keats, E. J. (1962). The snowy day. New York: The Viking Press.

Lesser, C. (1997). Storm on the desert. New York: Harcourt Brace & Co.

Locker, T. (1998). Home: A journey through America. New York:Harcourt Brace & Co.

Luenn, N. (1992). Mother earth. New York: Atheneum Publishing.

MacLachlan, P. (1994). All the places to love. New York: Harper-Collins Publisher.

MacLachian, P. (1995). What you know first. New York: JoannaCotler Books.

Martin, B. Jr., & Archambault, J. (1988). Listen to the rain. New York:Henry Holt & Co.

Marzollo, J. (1997). Home sweet home. New York: HarperCollinsPublisher.

McCloskey, R. (1948). Blueberries for Sal. New York: The VikingPress.

McLerran, A. (1991). Roxaboxen. New York: Lothrop, Lee &Shepard Books.

Minor, W. (1998). Grand Canyon: Exploring a natural wonder. NewYork: The Blue Sky Press.

Minor, W. (1998). Grassroots: Poems by Carl Sandburg. New York:Harcourt Brace & Co.

Nobisso, J. (1989). Grandpa loved. New York: Green Tiger Press.

Parnall, P. (1971). The mountain. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.

Paulsen, G. (1999). Canoe days. New York: Doubleday.

Ray, D. K. (1991). Stargazing sky. New York: Crown Publishers.

Rockwell, A. (1992). Our yard is full of birds. New York: MacmillanPublishing.

Rogasky, B. (Ed.). (1994). Winter poems. New York: Scholastic.

Ryder, J. (1987). Chipmunk song. New York: Lodestar Books.

Ryder, J. (1989). Where butterflies grow. New York: Lodestar Books.

San Souci, D. (1990). North country night. New York: Doubleday.

Siebert, D. (1989). Heartland. New York: Thomas Y. Crowell.

Soya, K. (1986). A house of leaves. New York: Philomel Books.

Tresselt, A. (1992). The gift of the tree. New York: Lothrop, Lee &Shepard Books.

Waddel, M. (1994). The big big sea. Cambridge, MA: CandlewickPress.

Zolotow, C. (1992). The seashore book. New York: HarperCollinsPublisher.

References

Burkett, C. (1999). Intimations of paradise. Vernonia, OR: West WindArts.

Brown, M. W. (1947). Goodnight moon. New York: Harper &Brothers.

Brown, M. W. (1942). The runaway bunny. New York: Harper &Brothers.

Carson, R. (1956). A sense of wonder. New York: Harper & RowPublishers.

Marcus, L. S. (1992). Margaret Wise Brown: Awakened by the moon.Boston, MA: Beacon Press.

Nabhan, G. P., & Trimble, S. (1994). The geography of childhood: Whychildren need wild places. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.


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How much do we know about stressful moments of sep-aration when parents send their children away in order

to save their lives? Separation may occur because of the lossof childrenÕs parents, or can occur in mass evacuations.Children get lost in the crowds of desperate individuals, inthe burning villages, in bombed and destroyed cities.

Separation moments under different circumstances have incommon the same feeling/perception; the childÕs image of the world she is used to is suddenly crashing down, the change ahead is threatening, the unknown future isfrightening.

The aim and strategy of the Project ÒUnaccompanied Children in ExileÓ was to support and strengthen the childÕs coping skills in order to find a way to recover fromtrauma of separation. In order to meet the best interest ofeach and every child related to the special needs ofunaccompanied refugee children, different services and program components were provided apart from the basicproject goals. Program components developed by theproject itself or through other GO or NGO initiatives in thelocal community focused on covering basic needs related tofood and shelter, health, social welfare, education, andspecial psychosocial needs. The Project ÒUnaccompaniedChildren in ExileÓ has a strong advocacy component forchildrenÕs rights Ñ the right of a child to a family, name,and ethnicity.

Background of the UCE Project

The Project ÒUnaccompanied Children in Exile,Ó developedat the peak of the war activities in Bosnia and Herzegovinain 1993, identified 5,000 unaccompanied refugee children in

13 countries of exile (Croatia, Macedonia, Austria, TheCzech Republic, France, the UK, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, The Netherlands, Turkey, Pakistan, andMalaysia).

The UCE Project goals and objectives were: registeringUAMs (unaccompanied refugee minors), reuniting UAMswith their parents and close family members, reducing the period of family separation as much as possible, and ensuring the best interim and durable care solutions underthe circumstances.

The UCE Project was composed of a set of activities of legal,social, and psychosocial character that could be divided intofour basic phases: identification, documentation, tracing,and reunification.

After being identified, the unaccompanied refugee childrenwere registered and documented. Documentation Ñ inter-viewing refugee minors Ñ was an activity performed by


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in Croatia:Resilience and Trauma

Aleksandra S. Zivkovic, BA, MA,developmental sociology at theUniversity of Zagreb, Croatia. She hasbeen involved in social welfare issuesfor 20 years, focusing on children’sand adolescents’ problems. She is thedirector of the local NGO, Center forSocial Policy Initiatives (CSPI) whichis implementing the following projects: “Unaccompanied Children in Exile” with the aim of familyreunification for Bosnian children,

“Foster Care Program” for refugee children, “INFO Center/Counseling Center”for refugee women and children, and “Big Brothers Big Sisters”for adolescents in social risk.

by Aleksandra Selak Zivkovic

professionals who were either social workers orpsychologists. Documentation was comprised of the case histories of the individual children.

Based on individual plans, social assistants facilitatedtracing of unaccompanied refugee childrenÕs parents orother family members, meeting the best interests of


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I was born and lived in Northern Bosnia with my parents till I was twelve. My father was an electricalengineer and my mother a pharmacist. Just at the outbreak of war, the people were very tense; I remember theTV broadcasts continuously predicting a conflict. I could not understand it because everything seemed more orless normal. My uncle tried to persuade us to leave but my father couldnÕt be persuaded, and things happenedas they did.

In June 1992 my father was picked up on the street. My parents are the most unfortunate combination Ñ myfather is [ethnic] Croatian and my mother [ethnic] Serbian. Had the situation been reversed Ñ and my father aSerb Ñ he would have been able to save the whole family. But my mother was helpless. I know that my fatherwas detained in some of the camps but I donÕt know what happened to him, whether he is alive or dead. Mymother is still in Bosnia. She works at the same pharmacy, but she receives her pay every three months. Nowwe can at least be in telephone contact, but she cannot come and visit me since she does not have a passport. I cannot travel to visit her because of my serious health problem with my kidneys, and the doctors will notallow me to take such a strenuous trip.

I live in Zagreb with my grandmother, my fatherÕs mother. We live in the centre of town, and I attend highschool in the vicinity. I get along with my grandmother well, but she is 74, and our viewpoints differ on manythings. I have many friends Ñ I am quite satisfied. I would not like to return to Bosnia; I cannot imagine livingin a smaller town than Zagreb, only possibly in a larger one.

After my father was taken away, I lived on in my hometown until I finished the sixth grade of primary school,and then my mother found a way to transfer me to Croatia. My relatives waited for me at the Croatian border.Some six months after my arrival in Zagreb, the CSPI assistants found my grandmotherÕs address. I was wellprepared for the departure Ñ I knew that I had to leave. At the time I wanted to return, but now I donÕt knowwhere it is better and safer for me. When my father was taken away, my mother and grandfather asked for himeverywhere, but without result.

Now I attend the third grade of high school. I am an ÔAÕ student and I donÕt let my health problems interferewith me; I usually set high goals for myself Ñ the higher the goal, the more I achieve. My kidney problemsstarted when I was nine; my kidneys are collapsing. I am now on the kidney transplantation list.

It is unbelievable how people Ñ because of the war Ñ forgot how they used to live before; before the war,Bosnia was the world in miniature. I did not see when they took my father away and I do not know why. His friends could have saved him with money. But the money was dearer to them than my father.

It is hard for me to think about my father because I do not like to remember what has happened, but the fact isthat I cannot forget it. I often wonder where he is now, what happened, whether he is alive somewhere. I stillhope that he is alive Ñ although it seems like Utopia. I am an optimist like my father and I never lose hope.For example, last year I couldnÕt attend school for two months, but when I came back to school I managed tocatch up with the schoolwork and at the end I was an ÔAÕ student, although I missed 397 classes.Ó

individual children. If tracing was not necessary, socialassistants either reestablished the contact betweenseparated parents and children or started the process offamily reunification. One of the goals of the UCE projectwas to reduce the period of family separation as much aspossible. Reunification of children separated from theirparents or other close family members because of the warcircumstances seeks to ensure the childÕs right to a family,identity, name, ethnicity, culture, and religion in thechildÕs best interest.

Social mobilization within the local community startedwith the question: WHERE are the unaccompaniedrefugee children? With the information about potentialwhereabouts of unaccompanied minors, social assistantsstarted an active search for the children. After identifi-cation of beneficiaries, the documentation phase was completed, and the planning phase commenced. Theplanning process identified the unmet needs of unaccom-panied refugee children. To meet the unmet needs in thelocal communities, the UCE social assistants performedintensive local networking.

The resilience, the recovery of an unaccompaniedrefugee child from the stressful war experience, was thepriority aim of the program activities and was supposedto be achieved through different services/program com-ponents: from active social support in the process ofintegration of the child into the local peer groups; partici-pation of the child in local sport activities; checking andassisting the child in school; assessing, supporting, andensuring psychosocial support in the caretaking family(family relations in a substitute family); establishing thesupport groups of refugee adolscents and support groupsof caretakers/foster parents, etc. Serious post traumaticstress disorder and other traumatic experiences weretreated in specialized medical institutions that wereavailable in the local community in countries of exile, and were accessible to refugee children.

In order to clarify the situation of unaccompanied refugeechildren in Croatia and to make it come alive, I havepresented one of the original childÕs stories. SanjaÕs storyis one of the 5,000 childrenÕs stories that the UCE Projecthas come across. It is significant in the sense that Sanjawas a child with extremely serious health problems, achild who had passed stressful separation from hermother, and did not hear anything about her belovedfather after he was taken away. In spite of the past experi-ences, Sanja is fighting hard to find her way in the newenviroment. She is coping with the situation, but she isalso remembering and dreaming about her hometown

and her parents. She was supported and followed by theProject UCE in all her efforts for five years as follows:

■ After Sanja was registered by the UCE Project inZagreb in 1993, a legal guardian was appointed toSanja.

■ ICRC was immediately contacted to speed up theprocess of forwarding the Red Cross messages toSanjaÕs mother who was left in an unaccessible part of B and H (Republika Srpska). At the same time, theUCE Project initiated tracing activities (with ICRC) for SanjaÕs missing father.

■ Sanja was immediately included in the specializedfoster care program. She was provided with nutrition-ist consultations and medical support.

■ Sanja and her grandmother participated in supportgroups and were also provided with individualcounseling.

The paradigmatic framework and the rationale of the UCE Project was to reinforce and maintain the childÕscoping skills whenever it was possible. Group and indi-vidual counseling was used to strengthen self-esteemcapacities and to assist the social integration of a child Ñtherapy was ensured in specialized institutions when theCSPI professionals assessed the special need for it.

■ Recovery of children after the family separation and war-witnessing experiences takes longer thanexpected. We have found the manifestation of PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) with a number ofchildren in later phases of stay in refuge. After twoyears, thanks to the fact that the project was stillgoing on, children were treated immediately whenthe symptoms were assessed. In the childÕ s life cycle, recovery does not go in a straight line Ñ sensitive and unhappy events evoke the potentialtrauma.

■ Today children need support for the most risky 50 caretakersÕ families in exile Ñ the effort to restartthe foster care and specialized foster care program forrefugee children (as local authorities do not includerefugee children in foster care programs).

Our program is phasing out in 1999, and there are still 300 unaccompanied children who cannot go back to their country of origin as they belong to the minoritygroups.


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Definition of resilience is:

ÒCapacity to spring back to the original shape orform after being bent, stretched, or compressed; flexi-bility; elasticity; the capacity to rebound quicklyfrom misfortune or illness.Ó (WebsterÕs Dictionary)

What we do with young children will affect them for therest of their lives. I know this by understanding that, evenat age 50, aspects of my personal and professional life areconstantly affected by my early childhood experiences. I know this because current research shows the early andlasting effects of childrenÕs environments and experienceson brain development. I know this because the NationalAssociation for the Education of Young Children andother organizations work so hard to improve quality careand education for young children (Bredekamp & Copple,1997).

In fact, research demonstrates that children who attendpoor quality programs can show negative effects whileÒhigh quality child care can predict academic success,adjustment to school, and reduced behavioral problemsfor children in first grades (Bredekamp & Copple, 1997,pp. 6-7). And yet there is evidence that a large percentage

of classrooms and family child care homes are ÒbarelyadequateÓ or ÒinadequateÓ for quality.

Children seem to be resilient. They suffer abuse of everykind, sometimes on a daily basis. We are always amazedand relieved to hear accounts of adults who have sur-vived and succeeded in spite of intense physical andemotional abuse during childhood. It reinforces our beliefin humanityÕs capacity for resilience to misfortune andillness, and it gives us hope for our own difficult times orpersonal struggles.

Most of us experienced traditional schooling as childrenand we seem to have survived. When early childhoodexperts tell us that traditional schooling is inappropriatepractice for young children and ask us to respond from aplace inside that remembers our own childhood, many ofus have difficulty in understanding the concept of devel-opmentally appropriate practice. It is almost as if we haveto Òreinvent childhood [because] we donÕt know what itfeels likeÓ (Carter & Curtis, 1998).

Have we survived? Were we resilient to traditionalschooling? How many of us have actually realized ourcreative potential and fulfilled our dreams? What kinds ofchoices have we made throughout our lives that havebeen fulfilling and productive? How many of us realizedthat we had choices to shape our own lives? Where didwe learn about self-confidence or our capacity for chal-lenge and achievement? As a majority of women in theearly childhood field, how many of us really chose thisprofession? Or did we fall back to it having been social-ized that women must love and care for children andwant to do it for low pay forever? I know that I wanted tobecome a political analyst and journalist when I wasyoung. I loved to sing and dreamed of developing acareer as a singer. However, I was most sure that I wascapable of caring for young children. It felt like a safe andsure bet for me. Taking risks was not something I hadbeen taught in traditional schooling.


What We Do Matters

by Tamar Jacobson (Meyer)

Tamar Jacobson (Meyer), Ph.D., isdirector of the University at Buffalo

Child Care Center in Buffalo, New York. She has been in the early

childhood field for over 25 years as a practitioner, professor, and

administrator. She currently teachescourses in child development and theanti-bias curriculum. In addition, sheis a validator and consultant for earlychildhood programs in the process of

self-study for accreditation.

Young children have little control over their lives. They aredependent on adults for physical and emotional survival.This is necessary to protect them from illness and misfor-tune. They are small and vulnerable, which reminds us tolove and cherish, cuddle, and play with them. On the otherhand, we often forget that children are capable of makingchoices, constructing knowledge, and thinking seriouslyand deeply about many different things. Children learn bymodeling and imitating significant adults in their lives.

Often it appears that children are resilient to inappropriatepractice. Many young children work diligently and tire-lessly with dittos and worksheets. Some are capable ofsitting for long circle times seemingly interested in topicslike the weather, counting days of the week or months ofthe year. In so many of these situations, teachers expectyoung children to understand abstract concepts withoutproviding them concrete, developmentally relevant experi-ences. We become confused thinking that if children arecapable of enduring boredom it does not mean that theyare challenged by the topic. I think it has to do with theway most of us experienced schooling when we werechildren. ÒIt did not hurt me so it wonÕt hurt them.Ó Isuggest that most often young children are intent onpleasing significant adults in their lives by doing what theyare told to do. Seeming resilient and pleasing those inauthority is often the way children handle feelings ofpowerlessness. Sometimes it is just the way to get throughthe day without being hurt or humiliated. Speaking out orasking difficult questions does not often make childrenpopular with teachers in a traditional, authoritative schooling environment.

As children are dependent on us, they will need to pleaseus to survive and acquire our love and admiration.Recently I heard Margie Carter and Deb Curtis speak at anational conference. They suggested that Òwe herd childrenand interrupt themÓ (Carter & Curtis, 1998). How dochildren express to us when they feel unchallenged ortrivialized? Frustration, resentment, rebellion, and apathymight be some of the ways a child calls out for help tryingto tell us that she is not as resilient as we think to inappro-priate practices. Teachers often term these behaviors as achildÕs Òbehavior problem.Ó

Children will not feel the need to seek control in a desper-ate way if they are given appropriate choices. Some ofthese choices might include being allowed to pour milk orwater into oneÕs own glass at snack time, deciding whichmaterials to use for a project, or choosing between wood-working or pottery clay. There will be greater opportunityfor children to develop critical thinking skills if they are

provided with meaningful and relevant educationalexperiences Ñ for example, if children are encouraged toexplore a topic in depth that is interesting to their lives.

It is so important to genuinely listen to children when theyexpress their ideas to us. That way they learn that theiropinions are genuinely valued. So many times we burstinto laughter when a young child tells us something mean-ingful to herself. How does a child learn to feel valued andrespected when her ideas are laughed at trivially or termedÒcuteÓ? Children have the potential to become responsibleand fulfilled adults if we trust them to make decisions andtake risks. This is a difficult task indeed. Many adults feelparalyzed when making decisions, focusing on pleasingothers rather than understanding their own choices.

Teachers often become uncomfortable and are afraid totrust children to think for themselves. How can we trustwhen we were not trusted ourselves? Most of us, and especially women, were taught to be helpless. For some ofus, it takes years of struggle to believe in our capacity tothink critically and take responsibility for the choices wemake.

Critical thinking, asking uncomfortable questions, andtaking risks are necessary skills for activism and taking astand against bias. Martin Luther King Jr. said that thesilence of good people is worse than bigoted acts. It is mostdifficult to take a stand against prejudice and injusticewhen one has been taught to obey and please those inpower. Teachers have power with young children. They arecapable of supporting children to think for themselves, askdifficult questions, and take risks that challenge their deci-sion-making abilities. On the other hand, they can teachyoung children to be helpless, fearful, and unquestioningof obedience.

The definition of resilience describes our capacity torebound quickly from misfortune or illness. The idea thatchildren are resilient to inappropriate practice is confusing.Children survive obstacles in life, including traditional,authoritative schooling, and learn many things along theway. What, in fact, are they learning and in what way dothey survive? How do children rebound from inappropri-ate practice as they develop into adults? What types ofscars, memories, defense mechanisms, and fears have theydeveloped? More importantly, what labels have childrenbeen given that they come to accept and suffer about them-selves for the rest of their lives?

As directors and administrators, we are challenged tosupport teachers as they struggle with the understanding


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that traditional, authoritative schooling might be harmfulfor young childrenÕs development. Our challenge is tounderstand how our own childhood has affected the waywe think, what we believe in, and how our values werelearned. Coming to terms with our own scars, memories,defense mechanisms, and fears will help us support teach-ers with theirs. Most of us have survived in one way oranother. Some have not. School dropouts, violence, hatecrimes, and prisons tell us that story if only we are pre-pared to hear it. The ways in which we teach youngchildren will affect them for the rest of their lives.

We cannot afford to think that children will rebound fromanything they have endured. Children remember. We mustthink deeply and critically about how they will bounceback. Sometimes we must ask difficult questions even ifthese questions do make legislators, parents, and membersof governments uncomfortable. Remember, they werechildren once as well!

References

Bredekamp, S., & Copple, C. (1997). Developmentallyappropriate practice in early childhood programs: Revisededition. Washington, DC: National Association for theEducation of Young Children.

Carter, M., & Curtis, D. (1998, November). From survivingto thriving: Inventing passionate ways to teach. Seminarpresentation at the National Association for the Educationof Young Children annual conference, Toronto, Ontario.

Kelman, A. (1990). Choices for children. Young Children,45(3), 42-45.


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Documents

Resiliency in Young Children - ChildCareExchange.com · Resiliency research tells us that the ongoing presence of a caring adult in the life of a child can make all the differ-ence