1. Reflective Listening: Resolving Conflict Solving Problems
Rev. Denise LaChance, M.Div. Director Mission Integration &
Spiritual Care April 27, 2015
2. 2 EXERCISE 1 DIVIDE INTO UNRELATED PAIRS PICK A HAPPY TOPIC
UNTIL THE ALARM SOUNDS: ONE PERSON TALKS THE OTHER PERSON LISTENS
& SAYS NOTHING SWITCH AND REPEAT REFLECTIVE LISTENING
3. 3 REFLECTIVE LISTENING WHEN TO USE REFLECTIVE LISTENING
TIMES OF STRONG EMOTION ANGER SADNESS WHEN YOU WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW
YOU HAVE HEARD THEM WHEN YOURE NOT SURE HOW TO RESPOND WHEN YOU
HAVE TIME TO LISTEN!
4. 4 REFLECTIVE LISTENING
5. 5 REFLECTIVE LISTENING REFLECTIVE LISTENING = 1. REPEAT OR
PARAPHRASE FEELING + FACT OR IDEA 2. SAY NOTHING MORE 3. WAIT FOR A
RESPONSE
6. 6 REFLECTIVE LISTENING PICK ONE PHRASE: IT SEEMS THAT YOU I
HEAR YOU SAYING THAT IT SOUNDS AS IF YOU
7. 7 REFLECTIVE LISTENING FEEL ______________________ [NAME THE
FEELING]
8. 8 REFLECTIVE LISTENING
9. 9 REFLECTIVE LISTENING
10. 10 REFLECTIVE LISTENING
11. 11 REFLECTIVE LISTENING EXERCISE 2 RETURN TO YOUR PAIRS
PICK AN EVENT OR TOPIC THAT IS A BIT ANNOYING BUT NOT TOO PERSONAL
OR PRIVATE, SUCH AS: HOW PEOPLE DRIVE IN LA OR IN A CHORE YOU
REALLY DISLIKE WHAT PEOPLE DO THAT BUGS YOU AT SPORTING EVENTS,
WHEN SHOPPING, AT THE DOG PARK, OR UNTIL THE ALARM SOUNDS: ONE
PERSON TALKS THE OTHER PERSON LISTENS & RESPONDS WITH
REFLECTIONS ONLY SWITCH AND REPEAT
12. 12 REFLECTIVE LISTENING REFLECTIVE LISTENING IS NOT: ASKING
QUESTIONS AGREEING WITH CONDONING ANALYZING
13. 13 REFLECTIVE LISTENING IF YOU ARE LISTENING REFLECTIVELY
THE OTHER PERSON WILL KEEP TALKING IF YOU OVERSHOOT WITH YOUR
PARAPHRASE, THEY WILL CORRECT IT AND KEEP TALKING.
14. 14 REFLECTIVE LISTENING OTHER TECHNIQUES TO HELP DEFUSE
CONFLICT 1. Short, simple requests: Please come sit here (with me).
2. Assert your good intentions: I want to help you. 3. In a private
place: Please tell me what happened. 4. Acknowledge feelings: I can
hear you saying you feel upset. 5. Normalize feelings: I hear you
saying that happened. If something like that happened to me, I
would be upset too. Being in the Emergency Department can be
upsetting. 6. Empowerment plus focus on the present: What would
make this better for you right now? What can I do for you right
now? How can I help?
15. 15 REFLECTIVE LISTENING BARRIERS TO LISTENING DISINTEREST
DISTRACTION SLEEPINESS DIFFICULTY HEARING LANGUAGE PROBLEMS
CULTURAL BARRIERS PREPARING OUR RESPONSE TELLING OUR OWN STORY
16. 16 REFLECTIVE LISTENING Listening is a gift of spiritual
significance that you can learn to give to others. When you listen,
you give one a sense of importance, hope and love that he or she
may not receive any other way. H. Norman Wright
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/listening?page=11
