CROSS-CULTURAL MISUNDERSTANDINGS(By Charlotte McPherson, Todays Zaman)

Someone once said to me that they are happiest when they are flying from one country to another. Life in a foreign culture can be exciting, but it can often lead to misunderstandings. You may have a period of confusion and cultural disorientation and may even find it hard to cope with even the easiest tasks required to stay alive. This is part of culture shock and is not uncommon.

We all know how it is when you visit a place as a tourist and it seems so ideal. You just want to stay there. My brother frequently flies down with a group of his friends to the Bahamas and swears one day he will retire there. I often joke about retiring in Tasmania. We all have some exotic place in mind where we dream of -- for many of us, it is probably best this remains a dream -- and an unspoiled one at that!

Just as Turks think America is a great place to live, often my foreign guests say İstanbul is a great place to live. Having lived in both places, I gently remind them that nowhere is perfect. You can be disappointed anywhere.

For those of us who have lived abroad, we know it's when you stay for a longer time that you experience and see things that you do not see when you are just a tourist. This is true for the Turk who travels to America or the foreigner who comes to Turkey. In both countries people are nice to tourists, be it a business trip or for health or just plain fun. However, when you begin to live in a different culture, the experience changes. You could say the honeymoon is over.

Near the end of summer, there is an influx of newcomers. They arrive in another country and begin to get settled into their new jobs, schools, homes, etc. The initial days can be deciding factors as to whether you are going to enjoy the time you reside in the new place or not depending on the experience you have in getting settled in. How the shop attendants, officials, neighbors and strangers treat you will all be factors in this equation. The potential for culture shock is present every time you change cultures.

Some of us who have traveled widely can still experience culture shock. Having culture shock, that is, feeling a sense of cultural disorientation where you live, is normal. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid to help you settle into your new culture a little more easily:

Try not to respond with contempt for the new society and separate yourself in your own cultural ghettos; i.e., doing everything as you would back home.

Don't always compare the new culture with your own culture; doing so may cause you to see the new culture as inferior.

Try to not just make friends with those who speak your mother tongue. Learn the local language so you can understand the culture and the simplest rules of social behavior.

The other day a friend of mine made a comment in the car while a group of us were driving along that illustrates this point. She replied to another person in the car who had commented on the amount of litter lying around in public places by saying, “Turks think that not cleaning your windows every day is just as bad.”

We have all heard the most common ethnocentric saying by the non-British, which is when we talk about British drivers driving "on the wrong side" of the road. Why not just say the "opposite side" or even the "left-hand side"?

Another comment is when Westerners speak about the Arabic language as being read "backwards." Why not just say "from right to left" or "in the opposite direction from English"?

Even when you are trying to be polite when sampling the food of another culture, using the phrase "Oh, that's different" rather than more pejorative terms may imply to the hostess that you didn't like it.

One comment I will never forget is when I shared with some Turks about how my mother was elderly and ill. They did not mean to hurt my feelings with their comments, but one said to the others, “I am surprised how Westerners can be so cold as to send their aged and sick loved ones to places for them to be cared for and looked after by total strangers.”

True or false? If false explain why.

1) The writer claims that due to cross-cultural misunderstandings, living abroad always proves difficult.

2) In the second paragraph, she states that we often idealise holiday destinations and are not aware of what everyday life would be like there.

3) She equates experiencing life as a resident in a foreign country to facing the problems of real life with your partner once the initial idyllic stages are over.

4) Getting settled is is as important as any of the other periods of your residence abroad to shape your experience.

5) Culture shock is more common among well-travelled people.

6) When facing a new culture you should never compromise, but remain true to yourself.

7) You should be humble about the value of your cultural background.

8) Turks look down on Americans as they think their streets are covered in litter.

9) Being “ethnocentric” means that you think that you do things correctly in your country, while countries where things are done differently are the weird ones.

10) The writer claims there are certain remarks that are always meant to be offensive irrespective of the cultural context in which they are made.

SOLUTIONS

1) The writer claims that due to cross-cultural misunderstandings, living abroad always proves difficult. FALSE. She says it is not uncommon to go through a period of confusion and disorientation, but not that this will necessarily be the case.

2) In the second paragraph, she states that we often idealise holiday destinations and are not aware of what everyday life would be like there. TRUE

3) She equates experiencing life as a resident in a foreign country to facing the problems of real life with your partner once the initial idyllic stages are over. TRUE

4) Getting settled is is as important as any of the other periods of your residence abroad to shape your experience. FALSE: the initial days, and how you feel people treat you then, can be deciding factors.

5) Culture shock is more common among well-travelled people. FALSE. In spite of being well travelled, you can still suffer from it.

6) When facing a new culture you should never compromise, but remain true to yourself. FALSE. You must avoid doing things the way you would back at home and adapt your habits.

7) You should be humble about the value of your cultural background. TRUE

8) Turks look down on Americans as they think their streets are covered in litter. FALSE: They have a different view on what it represents to be clean. She implies that they do not care so much about public places, but keep their houses squeaky clean, including their window panes.

9) Being “ethnocentric” means that you think that you do things correctly in your country, while countries where things are done differently are the weird ones. TRUE

10) The writer claims there are certain things that are always meant to be offensive irrespective of the cultural context in which they are said. FALSE. She grants even the most unfortunate remarks the benefit of the doubt, such as one made in her presence about Westerners sending old people to asylums after she had confided that her mother was old and sick.