Presented by: Eric Knutson and

Nicole Steinmetz

Anxiety is not the result of a specific threat. Rather it comes from your mind’s vision of the possible dangers that may result in the situation.

Most common among children 6 and under. Symptoms:

-Clingy-Teary-Fear of unfamiliar people and places

When this fear occurs in a child over age 6 years, is excessive, and lasts longer than four weeks, the child may have separation anxiety disorder.

An unrealistic and lasting worry that something bad will happen to the parent or caregiver if the child leaves.

An unrealistic and lasting worry that something bad will happen to the child if he or she leaves the caregiver.

Refusal to go to school in order to stay with the caregiver. Refusal to go to sleep without the caregiver being nearby

or to sleep away from home. Fear of being alone. Nightmares about being separated. Bed wetting Complaints of physical symptoms, such as headaches and

stomachaches, on school days. Repeated temper tantrums or pleading.

Educate parents and have resources available for them. Curing separation anxiety as quickly as possible will have to start with the parents.

Here are some tips to tell parents: Timing is everything. Make sure your

child is well rested and has eaten a good breakfast before sending them to school.

Practice. Before starting school, make a few visits to meet the teacher (make sure not to miss round up and family learning day). If you are rarely apart from your child, practice leaving him/her with a trusted relative or friend for a short time. Keep in close proximity the first time. Once this is comfortable, increase time and distance. Eventually work up to the same time your child would be at school.

Be calm and consistent. Create a exit ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure him or her that you'll be back — and explain how long it will be until you return using concepts kids will understand (such as after lunch) because your child can't yet understand time. Give him or her your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you're leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.

Follow through on promises. It's important to make sure that you return when you have promised to. This is critical — this is how your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through the time apart.

As hard as it may be to leave a child who's screaming and crying for you, it's important to have confidence that the teacher can handle it. It may help both of you to set up a time that you will call to check in, maybe 15 to 20 minutes after you leave. By that time, most kids have calmed down are playing with other things. Don't let yourself give in early and call sooner!

Try to distract the child with an activity or toy, or with songs, games, or anything else that's fun. You may have to keep trying until something just clicks with the child.

Also, try not to mention the child's mother or father, but do answer the child's questions about his or her parents in a simple and straightforward way. You might say: "Mom and Dad are going to be back as soon as they are done work. Let's play with some toys!"

In many cases, the parent is having the difficulty leaving – in return causing the anxiety in the child.

It’s important to remember to stay as firm and blunt with the parents as you expect them to be with their child. It’s ok to kindly say, “You need to leave now, Johnny will be just fine.” Let them know they can call and check in – in 15-20 minutes.

Scared – A (temporary) emotional and/or physical reaction caused by fearful consequence of an event or situation. Usually something in which can be overcome through perseverance and dedication to move forward.

Fear is an emotional response to a threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger

PHOBIA :-

Definition

A persisting fear. An intense, sometimes unrealistic fear, which can interfere with the ability to socialize, work, or go about everyday life, that is brought on by an object, event or situation.

Fears can turn into phobias

Description

Just about everyone is afraid of something—an upcoming job interview or being alone outside after dark. But about 18% of all Americans are tormented by irrational fears that interfere with their daily lives. They aren't "crazy"—they know full well their fears are unreasonable—but they can not control the fear. These people have phobias.

Anxiety (the possibility of)Scared(temporary)Fear (occurring in response to) Phobia (Persisting/ongoing fear)

*Although we can define these terms separately, they are very closely related and are often used interchangeably.

Mom and dad might get a divorce Mom and dad are arguing, they are probably getting a divorce Mom and dad are saying many terrible things to one another, they must hate each other and are getting a divorce I’m not leaving mom and dad alone or they will split and we’ll never be a family again.

Ages 3 Separation Anxiety Stranger Anxiety Noises Falling Animals Inconsistent Discipline Toilet Training Water Doctor Monsters and Ghosts Divorce

to 8 Bed Wetting Getting Lost Loss of Parent/Death Injury/Personal Danger Being Late to School Social Rejection Criticism New Situations Adoption Burglars

Bugs, Mice, Snakes, Bats Heights Water/Drowning Public Transportation Storms Closed Spaces Tunnels, Bridges Crowds Speaking in Public Death

Difficult to learn Harder to make friends Effects the ability to have fun Disruption from everyday life Trouble Sleeping Heart Palpitations Increased Blood Pressure and heart rate

Although they are very important, we are not here to talk about the top 10 fears and phobias that most young children experience

Reason: There are a lot of resources on how to help children overcome common fears.

We are here today to talk to you about real life experiences/situations from past and present students that have changed our lives. It is our hope that our experiences will benefit you.

We are hear to assist you, as educators – parents – friends – and relatives to make sure that children like Austin do not pass through your life with warning signs screaming for help, only to not get the aid they so much need and deserve.

Coming from a student hiding behind a shed – crying . . . “My mom told me I am stupid. She said that I’m the dumbest person she has ever met because I don’t know my math. Please don’t tell her I told you she said that. She said don’t tell anyone . . . or else . . .”

Coming from a teary eyed boy as he sat down in his desk last week after asking him what was wrong . . . “My dad is a crazy man. He drinks way too much and then goes crazy. This morning he was still drunk and he tore my Pokemon Cards to pieces. He’s a crazy man and I don’t know what to do.”

Coming from a new student who I suspected was “saving face” . . . “My grandma claimed me and that’s why I moved to this school. I have a bad temper because I have to protect myself from my mom. My dad is in jail for life because he killed a guy for stealing his stuff.”

Coming from a student who was acting as “Mr. Tough Guy” . . . My dad gets out of jail today. I wonder if he’s going to come after us again?”

Coming from a student’s mother . . . “I am having suicidal thoughts. If it wasn’t for my children, I would just take my life.” The next day, after talking with that student – he told me he’s worried about mom because she wants to kill herself. This child who I’m talking about had just lost his father in a car accident.

Coming from one of the sweetest, smartest top-notch student in my class . . . “Did you hear the alert on the news? My mom ran with us and tried to kill us and herself.”

Unfortunately, we could continue with these quotes for a very long time – as I’m sure each of you who have worked with children could.

I want to make a point that these quotes didn’t just come out of the mouths of these children. They instead showed signs of change in their behavior. Some cried, some withdrew, some “saved face,” some acted out. Just like adults, children cope differently. So, to be honest, I don’t care if you call it anxiety, being scared, fear or phobia . . . Know your students . . . and always take the time to ask. The one coping strategy that is constant among all children is a change in behavior and personality.

I’m sure some of you are wondering . . . Who is Austin?

Austin is a former student who changed me as a teacher and a person. He had a fortress around him and didn’t let anyone in. He saved face by acting like “Mr. Tough Guy.” We knew he had a lot of baggage from home, but he DID NOT talk about it. Here is the story...

Like many children, Austin loved to read. I was determined to find him a book that

could help him, since attempting to talk to him in depth was difficult. I felt if I could get him to realize how important it was to not “bottle up” his fear and anger and that it was normal to feel what he was feeling – maybe he would open up for us to better serve him. I had a connection with this student, but I needed more.

I came to a road block. Although many books covered fear, I couldn’t find any that were resourceful for this situation.

I was determined to find a book – that was one way I knew I could connect with him. Books were his outlet.

I NEVER Get Scared is the title of the

book I decided to write. With the help of my wife, other teachers, Nicole, Cindy Stensen (the illustrator) and many others – I created a book for all the Austin’s in the world.

.

http://www.colfaxdollarstop.com/inevergetscared.htm

Always take the time/effort Know your students well and provide a constant

caring and trusting environment in your classroom

Use self esteem builders and energizers frequently

Know your students home life and communicate with guardians regularly

Show that you care . . . Everyday Openly talk about feelings . . . SHARE YOUR

STORIES! Kids love to know you’re a REAL person!

Use your resources! Talk to your counselors, Report to your administrators, Call Social Services . . . Call the police . . . . Do not hesitate

Journal your feelings Draw a picture Talking to a trustworthy person Comfort, console and relate Help the child come up with a mantra. Separate fact from fiction

Snowball fights “I’m Special Because” Self-Esteem Carwash Dance Time Sing songs like: No One Like You by John

Denver, or I’m So Glad You’re Hear to start every day

Play Silent Volleyball - When you say stop, the class compliment the person with the balloon

***Simple activities like this will create a comfort zone for your students. When this happens, barriers fall, confidence boosts and fears minimize.

As you leave, please think of an Austin who you can help and spread the message

that you care!

Thank You!

Forbes.com Dictionary.com Deb Gebeke

Family Science Specialist of NDSU About.com WebMd.Com helpguide.org www.kidshealth.org