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Ping! Zine Web Hosting Magazine issue 36 - Are you Ready for a Website Audit?
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contents7.6 PING! ZINE
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024are youready for awebsite audit?What’s the number one goal you want to accomplish with your website? increase your visitor-to-customer conversion rate? generate more sales? increase your company’s revenues? if you answered yes to any of the previous questions, then you are ready for a website audit. But what exactly is a website audit? and how can a website audit help you achieve your goals?
032ConfiCker in retrosPeCt
0369 Holiday geek gifts
041leverage seo
045ad:teCH nyC 2009 reCaP
046tHe PerfeCt domain name
049HostingCon Heads to austin, tX
052Ping! Zine serviCe direCtory
054an intervieW WitH ted deraCruZ
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BIts & BYtes7.6
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012namesCo limited aCquires PoundHost
eBay ComPletes sale of skyPe
013mummy Bloggers launCH fundraiser for CumBria flood viCtims
014netsuite reCeives 2009 smB eXCellenCe aWard
016iWeB announCes CHanges to management
Wikimedia foundation aPPoints Craig neWmark to its advisory Board
018Ping! Zine CrossWord PuZZle Promo
019Parature announCes 2010 WorldWide users’ ConferenCe
neW serviCe for domain investors launCHed By namemedia
020miCrosoft launCHes WindoWs aZure Platform
PING! ZINE
012 013
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Publisher keith duncanManaging Editor/Designer derek morrisExecutive Editor robert langSenior Editor dave youngMarketing Director lacey Parnell
edItoRIal staffTechnical Editor John BurmeisterCommentary Editor david dunlapMarketing Editor trey gardnerHeadlines Editor derek vaughan
contRIButIng WRIteRsariel ozickJosh ewinHostingCon staffdimitar avramov
contact InfoRmatIonPing! Zine, llCPost Office Box 516Denham Springs, LA 70726
Phone (225) 791-3963Website www.pingzine.comGeneral Info [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]
Ping! Zine Web Hosting Magazine © december 2009, Published and Copyrighted 2009 by Ping! Zine, llC, P.o. Box 516, Denham Springs, LA 70726. all rights reserved.Permission to reproduce part or all of this issue must be secured in writing from the publisher. for more information email: [email protected] subscriptions are at the discretion of the publisher and may be cancelled or modified at any time. unsolicited submissions are welcome. We assume no liability for lost or damage of submissions. We assume no liability for the content of this issue and all points and ideas are strictly that of the writers involved and not that of the publisher, publishing company, printing company or editors.if you have actually read all this legal mumbo-jumbo, then you are obviously bored out of your mind! i’ll tell you what. tear out this disclaimer and mail it to the above address with your name, address and telephone number and we will send you a prize!
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bITS & byTES
Namesco Limited Acquires Poundhostnamesco, the fourth largest domain name and hosting provider within the uk undertook the acquisition of Poundhost on november 19th, 2009. namesco, wholly owned by register.it s.P.a, the subholding of the dada group heading the dada.Pro division will own 100% of the capital of the companies composing Poundhost, including Poundhost internet ltd, server arcade ltd, vPs ltd and Blueconnex ltd.
Poundhost, founded in 2001, with over 10,000 dedicated and virtual servers and a large high-end customer base, of which 30% in the US, offers professional management solutions for online presence to businesses and is one of the main players in the united kingdom for dedicated hosting services.
the acquisition of Poundhost is consistent with the dada group strategy, to consolidate its leadership in the european market and to strengthen the position of the group in the management of online identity and presence of innovative web advertising solutions. dada.Pro already has a consolidated presence in terms of clients managed in the uk, with the market renowned for high growth rates of digital services and online advertising.
“the acquisition of Poundhost completes the offer of the group’s digital services from domain to click and opens up the potential of the us market” said Paolo Barberis, Chairman and founder of dada. “the further expansion of the customer base accelerates the development of simply, the new dada online advertising project, in the uk market in which internet advertising has already overtaken television” concluded Barberis.
eBay inc. announced that it has successfully completed the previously announced sale of its skype communications unit in a deal valuing the business at $2.75 billion. The buyer, who will control an approximate 70 percent stake, is an investor group led by silver Lake and includes Joltid Limited and certain affiliated parties, the Canada Pension Plan investment Board and andreessen Horowitz.
eBay received approximately $1.9 billion in cash and a note from the buyer in the principal amount of $125 million. The company retained approximately 30 percent equity investment in skype. the company also purchased senior debt securities with a face value of $50 million as part of a Skype debt financing.
eBay Completes Sale of Skype
Ping! Zine magaZine | 013
mummy bloggers are using the power of the internet to help people affected by the Cumbrian floods, with an online charity auction and raffle. spurred into action by stories of friends in Cumbria, blogger kat molesworth started contacting other bloggers and twitter users to ask how they could help. Within 24 hours, the online community was spreading the word, and offers of auction lots were pouring in. the result is a fantastic auction that includes donated prizes such as:
• A luxury night for two at Ickworth Hotel and Apartments, with a professional photo session from lighthouse studio.• A bespoke wall mural from designer interiors company olli and lime.• A Solomon Shire Rocking Horse from popular baby brand mamas and Papas.
The recent floods in Cumbria claimed two lives and have affected hundreds of families. six bridges have collapsed under intense flood waters, leaving many more closed. In Cockermouth alone, more than 900 homes and businesses were flooded, leaving thousands of people homeless.
funds are urgently needed for the elderly, disabled and families with children under five. “These floods are
on a scale that would usually only happen once every thousands years and whole communities have been devastated. We hope that the funds raised in the auction for Cumbria will help to make life a little easier for the area’s most vulnerable people,” said kat. the auction ran online at the Bambino goodies website, which is hosting the auction for free. Bidding opened on Monday, November 30th at 12pm, and ran until Sunday, December 6th at 6pm. Bidders were able to register on the auction site and bid for any item, and could also choose to remain anonymous. A raffle was also added via Just Giving later in the week. donations to the fund can also be made via Cumbria Community foundation.
auction for Cumbria has been made possible thanks to the generosity of software company mycharitywins.com, which has provided the bloggers with its online auction software for free.
mike grindy, founder of mycharitywins.com, said: “When we heard that an auction had been pulled together in such a short space of time, we were so impressed we couldn’t resist offering our help. i’m sure we can rely on the generosity of the public, and the auction for Cumbria will be a great success.”
Mummy Bloggers Launch Fundraiser for Cumbria Flood Victims
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netsuite inc., a leading vendor of cloud computing business management software suites, announced that netsuite has received idC’s smB excellence award in the software as a service and Cloud Computing category for providing innovative solutions to the small and medium-sized business markets (SMB)(1). NetSuite was the only Software as a Service (SaaS) business software suite vendor to receive the award. the global industry research leader made its selections based on suitability to the needs of smB companies, milestone accomplishments, and the competitive disruption caused by the company’s innovative on-demand technology for on-premise, legacy vendors such as microsoft and saP. for more information about netsuite’s industry recognition, visit www.netsuite.com/awards.
idC recognizes netsuite alongside household and industry-standard names such as Cisco, emC, verizon, at&t, and iBm. “netsuite continues to be a tremendous ally of the smB market, providing top-shelf functionality to business owners with a modern business model which avoids the up-front costs that made it difficult for SMBs to implement traditional on-premise ERP systems,” said Michael Fauscette, Group VP, software Business solutions at idC. “netsuite’s innovative cloud computing-based erP has paved the way for thousands of small and medium-sized companies to transform their operations while minimizing infrastructure investments.”
NetSuite Receives 2009 SMB Excellence Award
bITS & byTES
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Since launching in 1998, NetSuite has continually redefined the enterprise computing space. Its latest triumph, NetSuite OneWorld, is the first and only on-demand solution delivering real-time global business management and financial consolidation to SMBs with multinational and multi-subsidiary operations. The SuiteCloud platform enables third-party developers to quickly and easily develop robust add-ons to netsuite functionality, and permits easy integration with legacy enterprise accounting platforms for subsidiaries or major trading partners.
the idC smB excellence award is netsuite’s latest accomplishment in a year full of accolades. this summer, Gartner Dataquest released figures showing that NetSuite has joined the ranks of North America’s top ten ERP vendors by revenue. Strategic advisory service ISM Inc. recognized NetSuite and NetSuite CRM with a Top 15 Crm small & medium Business software award for 2009. Customer interaction solutions magazine named netsuite Crm as a recipient of a 2009 Crm excellence award. most recently, British businesses named netsuite the top enterprise accounting software vendor in sift media’s software satisfaction awards 2009. these awards validate and reinforce netsuite’s mounting importance to companies of all sizes looking for a powerful, integrated enterprise management solution.
for more information about netsuite inc., please visit www.netsuite.com.
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bITS & byTES
The Wikimedia Foundation, the non-profit organization behind Wikipedia, announced the appointment of Craig newmark to the foundation’s advisory Board. newmark is the founder of craigslist.org, a site where users connect to find and exchange goods and services, including housing and jobs. He currently works as a customer service representative for the site. Over the past 30 years, Newmark has worked in the technology industry with companies such as iBm, gm, Charles schwab & Co, and Bank of america.
“Craig’s experience as an innovator and evangelist, coupled with his knowledge of online communities and cultures of trust, will make him an invaluable adviser to the organization,” said michael snow, chair of the Wikimedia foundation Board of trustees. “His deep understanding of customer service and his dedication to fostering an enormous and engaged community of users will be a tremendous asset as we strive to be responsive to our readers and volunteers.”
the Wikimedia foundation, which operates the volunteer-written encyclopedia with a staff of just over 30 people, created its Advisory Board in January 2007 as a mechanism for input from leaders and thinkers in fields such as education, technology, and free culture. advisory Board members convene with Wikimedia’s leadership once a year at the annual Wikimania conference, and also support the organization in their specific areas of expertise.
the Wikimedia foundation is in the midst of the sixth annual fundraising campaign, aiming to bring in over $7.5 million in community contributions to finance operations for the upcoming year. For more information, visit http://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/Press_releases/Wikimedia_launches_2009_annual_giving_campaign
Wikimedia Foundation Appoints Craig Newmark to its Advisory Board
iWeb is pleased to announce the following changes in the company’s management structure; Cyrille mertès, formerly vice-President of it & infrastructure is now Chief Technology Officer and Marc Trudel, formerly senior director, Customer experience, becomes vice-President, operations. mr. mertès will be actively involved in the evolution and development of new technologies within the company while mr. trudel will overview most operational activities other than sales and marketing. the newly created role of Chief technology Officer will enable better synergy between iWeb’s infrastructure, development and technology groups. mr. mertès will lead those groups with high availability and automation in mind. “iWeb’s efficiency depends on the technologies that automate our processes.”, said mr. mertès. “automation will be our primary focus in the year to come”, he added.
marc trudel joined iWeb early in 2008 to spearhead the company’s customer service reorganisation project. Having since then raised customer satisfaction levels, he has also reengineered support processes by eliminating multiple weaknesses and integrating multiple operational functions into the customer service groups.
iWeb’s management team also includes
• Eric Chouinard – Chairman and Chief Executive Officer• Martin Leclair - President of Products and technologies• Philip Tousignant – Chief Financial Officer• Marc Guindon - Executive Vice-President of resources• Sylvain Leclair - Vice-President of Sales and marketing• Hugo Dénommée - Vice-President of Development and automation• Michel Thivierge – Human Resources Director
iWeb Announces Changes to Management
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It’s time for Ping! Zine’s annual office cleaning. We have collected a ton of stuff over this past year that has sat collecting dust. We have decided it is time to unload our office junk on to our readers and call it a “ Crossword Promotion”. This is how it works: Complete the crossword puzzle below to unscramble the mystery word. next email the mystery word along with your name and address to [email protected] and we will send you random things we find around the office. Good Luck!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _and the mystery Word is...
Ping! Zine magaZine | 019
namemedia announced the launch of domainer’s advantage, an interactive knowledge center for domain investors located at afternic.com.
The Domain Listing Service (AfternicDLS) is operated by Afternic, an award-winning marketplace that connects buyers and sellers of premium domain names. domain name owners list names for sale at afternic.com to achieve the broadest exposure to the most buyers worldwide.
the newly launched service, called domainer’s advantage, offers domain investors a comprehensive knowledge center including:
• Real Time Domain Industry Newsfeed: Stay informed of the latest industry news• Weekly Domain Sales Reports: Be the first to know what sold – and at what price• Best Practices: Proven tips on successful selling at maximum value• Market Trends: What hot? What’s not?• Poll of the Week: Weigh in on the pressing issues impacting the domain industry• Discuss Names Domain Industry Forum: Your voice matters – join the discussion• Domain Industry Calendar of Events: Webinars, Trade Shows, and Industry Events• AfternicDLS Blog: Our opinions on the domain industry issues of the day
“domainer’s advantage is designed for savvy domain investors who seek one place where they can stay highly informed on all the issues and opportunities affecting their domain investments,” said sarah Ptalis, Product manager for namemedia’s domain marketplace businesses Buydomains.com and afternic.com. “domainer’s advantage is a simple but compelling tool for accessing and exchanging the latest knowledge in real time”.
afternicdls is the domain industry’s premier sales platform, offering smB “end user” targeted global promotion of domain sellers’ domains in 135 countries. Learn more at www.AfternicDLS.com.
Headquartered outside Boston in Waltham, massachusetts, more information is available at www.namemedia.com.
New Service for Domain Investors Launched by NameMedia
Parature, a global leader in on-demand customer service software, announced that their sixth annual users’ conference, ParaFest ’10 will be held May 4 – 6, 2010 at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino las vegas. this customer focused conference will allow Parature users from around the world to gain invaluable knowledge from industry experts and thought leaders, while networking with colleagues and peers. Parafest ’10 will feature hands-on training sessions led by the Parature Professional services team and a diverse mix of customer service and support best practices sessions led by Parature customers as well as other industry experts. attendees will have a unique opportunity to exchange ideas, share industry insights and trends, and network with their peers as well as Parature executives and staff. the popular Parafest Zone will be available for participants to meet with Parature experts and partners, experience new product features and learn tips and techniques on how to further strengthen their investment in Parature Customer service™ software.
“We are delighted to be bringing our customers, partners, employees and other industry experts back together in las vegas for Parafest ‘10,” said Parature founder and Chief strategy Officer, Duke Chung. “ParaFest provides our customers with the opportunity to share some of the most thought provoking discussions around customer service and the customer
experience today and is just another example of how Parature continues to deliver the compelling technology and leadership that the industry and our customers have come to expect from us.”
Parature is seeking customer service experts and thought leaders who want to share their Parature Customer service software and industry knowledge with users attending the conference. session proposals are being accepted online until January 15, 2010.
Attendees registering for ParaFest ’10 by January 31, 2010 will receive a $200 discount off of the regular rate. Please visit the Parafest website for conference registration and additional information.
about Parafestevery spring Parature hosts an annual forum for some of the most innovative discussions about customer service issues in the industry. Parafest™ has become a popular, “sold-out” event for Parature customers from every corner of the world and every industry to come together to share ideas and learn how to further strengthen their Parature investment. Parature executives, along with customer service and product experts on the front lines, international authorities and authors share insights and trends, and discuss best practices and emerging issues. for more information, visit www.parafest.com and follow @Parature or #parafest on twitter.
Parature Announces 2010 Worldwide Users’ Conference
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bITS & byTES
microsoft Corp. announced the availability of the Windows azure platform at the microsoft Professional developers Conference (PDC). In his opening keynote address, Ray Ozzie, chief software architect at microsoft, described Windows azure and sql azure as core elements of the company’s cloud services strategy. the company also announced a set of new Windows azure features, Windows server capabilities, and marketplace offerings that will make it easier for developers to build profitable businesses from their microsoft-based solutions.
“Customers want choice and flexibility in how they develop and deploy applications,” ozzie said. “We’re moving into an era of solutions that are experienced by users across PCs, phones and the Web, and that are delivered from datacenters we refer to as private clouds and public clouds. Built specifically for this era of cloud computing, Windows azure and sql azure will give developers what they need to build great applications and profitable businesses.”
in his keynote address, ozzie described the company’s “three screens and a cloud” vision, where software experiences are seamlessly delivered across PCs, phones and tvs, all connected by cloud-based services. underscoring the it industry’s shift toward a hybrid approach of online services combined with on-premises software, ozzie described the programming model for a powerful new generation of applications for both businesses and consumers, enabled by new microsoft development tools and technologies. He also demonstrated customer and partner commitment to microsoft’s development platform with seesmic, WordPress and Cheezburger network.
Marketplace and Information Services for Developers, Partners and Users
ozzie also unveiled the next evolution of microsoft Pinpoint, an online marketplace for microsoft partners to market and sell their applications. the company introduced a new information service, microsoft Codename “dallas,” also available through Pinpoint and built completely on the Windows azure platform, that enables developers and users to access premium commercial and reference datasets and content on any platform. datasets currently available through “dallas” include those from the associated Press, Citysearch, data.gov, esri, first american Corp., infousa.com inc., nasa, national geographic toPo!, navteq, riskmetrics group, the united nations, Wavemarket inc. and Weather Central inc. starting today, “dallas” is available as a limited community technology preview (CTP)
Next-Generation Application Model
Bob muglia, president of the server and tools Business at microsoft, detailed the company’s strategy and road map for extending the Windows developer platform to the cloud, which is the next-generation application model, according to muglia.
“microsoft is converging on a common developer platform for both servers and services,” muglia said. “through this convergence, microsoft will enable developers to continue using familiar .net framework and visual studio tools and technologies, as well as third-party tools such as eclipse, to create and monetize applications that run on the server and as services in the cloud.”
muglia described microsoft’s key investments to enable developers to move applications to the private, hosted and public clouds, enhance them with additional services, and transform them to take full advantage of capabilities unique to cloud computing.
“Kelley Blue Book aims to provide a reliable and flexible environment for consumers, enabling them to research all options before they commit to purchasing a vehicle,” said Justin yaros, executive vice president of product design and development and chief technology officer of Kelley Blue Book Co. Inc. “With the Windows azure platform, we can provide the right environment for consumers searching for vehicles, providing them the most up-to-date information needed to make informed purchasing decisions, whether 10 or 10,000 people are on the site at the same time.”
as part of these key investment areas, microsoft is delivering Windows server appfabric Beta 1, a set of integrated, high-level application services that enable developers to more easily deploy and manage applications spanning both server and cloud. the appfabric technology combines hosting and caching technologies (formerly known as microsoft code-named “dublin” and microsoft code-named “Velocity”) with the Windows Azure platform AppFabric service Bus and appfabric access Control (formerly referred to as .NET Services). Together, these technologies deliver a consistent set of application services to enhance both Windows server and Windows azure with a common, scalable foundation for running .net applications. Windows server appfabric Beta 1 is available for download today at: http://msdn.microsoft.com/appfabric with final availability in 2010. additional CtPs of Windows azure platform appfabric technologies will be made available in 2010.
muglia also announced the company’s plan to offer Windows server virtual machine support on Windows azure, enabling customers to more easily support virtualized infrastructure across the continuum of on-premises and cloud computing, and the release to manufacturing of Windows identity foundation, helping developers to provide more secure, simplified user access to both cloud and on-premises applications with open, identity-based claims.
in addition, muglia announced the new release of asP.net mvC2 beta, a free, fully supported framework that enables developers to rapidly build standards-based Web applications through rich asynchronous JavaScript and XML (AJAX) integration and enhanced extensibility. asP.net mvC2 beta is available today at http://www.asp.net/mvc.
Microsoft Launches Windows Azure Platform
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bY dave Young
What’s the number one goal you want to accomplish with your website? increase your visitor-to-customer conversion rate? generate more sales? increase your company’s revenues? if
you answered yes to any of the previous questions, then you are ready for a website audit. But what exactly is a website audit?
and how can a website audit help you achieve your goals?
are youready for a
website audit?
You know it is time to get
a website audit when
your traffic and sales
have become stagnant
regardless of your marketing and advertising
efforts. Ping! Zine magaZine | 025
Defining website audit
a website audit is when a professional website auditor reviews your website and uncovers all the possible ways your website can convert more visitors to customers,
increase sales and revenue, and simply motivate your visitors to take action. a professional website auditor will then provide a list of changes you can make today that will help you attract more qualified visitors, increase conversion rates, and turn your website into a marketing and sales resource that works just as hard as you do.
When to get a website audit
You know it’s time to get a website audit when your traffic and sales have become stagnant regardless of your marketing and advertising efforts. For example, you are spending thousands of dollars on advertising campaigns
across multiple advertising mediums (websites, magazines, newsletters) and generating traffic, but not converting that traffic to customers. If that’s the case,
it’s time to get a professional website audit.
if your company is spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on advertising campaigns, you need to make sure your website is optimized for maximum
performance. Doing so will help convert qualified visitors to customers, thereby increasing your sales and revenues. There are many elements that must be
analyzed, identified, and implemented in order to increase your visitor-to-customer ratio, which ultimately increases your sales and revenue.
Elements your website auditor will review
a professional website auditor will review your website by following a step-by-step process to identify ways your website can be improved. Website owners are busy and often do not have time to research, study, and become a master at auditing
their own websites. The following list shows the primary aspects a website auditor will check during the review process.
· Compare your website to your competitors’ websites
· Review your website’s copy for “Call-to-action”· Test your website’s usability issues and interface design
· Review your website’s search engine optimization· identify your website’s current brand equity
There may be other items a website auditor will check once the above list has been completed. every website is different and has unique goals so the website audit list may vary slightly from one project to the next. However, the most important aspect
of your website is to start with a competitor analysis.
Comparing your website to your competitors’ websites
almost every website has competing websites that offer similar products and services. That’s okay as competition forces companies to improve how they present
themselves in the marketplace. a professional website auditor will research your top competitors and identify what they are doing wrong or what they could be
doing better. With that information, a website auditor can help you identify ways to counter your competitors. a website auditor will provide you with ideas on the best ways to present what makes your organization different than your competitors and implement those unique attributes on your website. But be careful, it takes a skilled website auditor with experience to help you overcome any obstacles getting in the
way of achieving your number one goal.
[continued]
Branding is identifying
what makes your organization
different and building brand equity around those
differentiating factors.
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Reviewing your website’s copy for “Call-to-Action”
after a full competitor analysis has been completed, a website auditor will review your existing website copy and identify how you can implement “Call-to-action”
items. “Call-to-action” elements are placed on your website to motivate your visitors to take action. For example, you want your visitors to review your latest specials, pick up the phone and call you, download a demonstration of your product, fill out a form, signup for a newsletter – all of these are “Call-to-action” elements. But if
your website does not have the right copy written to motivate your visitors, “Call-to-action” elements become useless. The reason – your visitors will leave your website before you draw them in to take action. a website auditor can help you identify and implement the right copy to compel your users to take action. The more action your
users take, the more sales and revenue you generate.
Testing your website’s usability issues and interface design
You can have the best copy on your website with compelling “Call-to-action” items, but if your website is not user-friendly, you can instantly turn away prospective
buyers and lose thousands in revenue. Usability is more than just aesthetics – the look and feel of your website – it’s how your users will move through your website and engage in conversation with you. Conversation can be in the form of any of the “Call-to-action” elements you include on your website (contact form, phone
number, chat, newsletter signup, product demonstration, product download, specific content, and so on). Your website’s usability and interface design should cater to your intended audiences. For example, consider a website that you enjoy
visiting frequently – your favorite website. Think about your favorite website’s interface design and how it helps or compels you to take action. is it user-friendly? Does it make you want to stay on the website and use it more? is the navigation
well structured and directs you to where you want to go? if it’s one of your favorite websites that you visit frequently, then most likely it is user-friendly and has a
clean, simple interface that keeps you coming back.
Reviewing your website’s search engine optimization
Search engine optimization (SEO) is one of the best ways to drive qualified traffic to your website. If your website is not fully optimized for search engines, you lose potential customers and sales. SeO is an ongoing process that should
never stop. a professional website auditor can help you establish the proper SEO plan to help you attract more qualified visitors that ultimately turn into
more sales. But your SeO plan should consist of more than just optimizing your website’s content. in order to maximize your SeO efforts, you need ongoing
marketing services to help increase and keep your most valuable keywords and key phrases that attract your target customers continually ranked high in the
search engines. Without a solid SeO plan in place, your website will lose highly qualified traffic and ultimately sales and revenue.
Identifying your website’s current brand equity
Your brand is vital to the success of your business. Branding is more than
just choosing a color scheme or having a perfect logo. Branding is identifying what makes your organization different and building brand equity around
those differentiating factors. Part of your brand equity is determined by how you present your differentiating factors on your website through copy, SeO,
usability, interface design, and overall marketing. When you put it all together by working closely with a website auditor, you can achieve the success you’ve
always wanted with your website. But make sure you hire a website auditor with experience. Hire someone who can prove that they can help you achieve your
number one goal with greater success.
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A professional website auditor
should have experience in auditing
websites, making suggestions, and
implementing strategies
that generate results.
Taking the next step
Hiring a professional website auditor is one of the most beneficial things you can do to increase your company’s revenues. But hiring the right website auditor can
be tricky. Look for a consultant who can identify all the elements of a website audit and then act on implementing what it takes to resolve any issues that currently
keep your company from generating more revenue. The return on investment will be worth every dollar you spend and then some. The longer you wait, the more
sales you lose. Start today by getting a professional website audit and see how your company’s financials improve. In some cases, the change is almost instant.
What to look for in a professional website auditor
Finding the right website auditor means the difference in helping you achieve
your goals. in order to help you achieve your goals, you should interview a website auditor with the following credentials:
· Professional experience
· Testimonials· Website audit portfolio
· Case studies· Proven results
Without the above credentials, you could end up spending your hard earned money on services that do not generate the results you expect from a professional website
audit. So how do you hire a website auditor with professional experience?
Hiring a website auditor with professional experience
a website auditor should have years of professional experience in auditing websites, making suggestions, and implementing strategies that generate results. although
not a requirement, look for a professional website auditor with industry related experience. Someone with industry experience will understand your products and
services better than someone outside of your related industry.
In addition to finding issues with your current website and providing ideas on how to improve your website, a professional website auditor can also perform the work.
examples include SeO analysis, SeO copywriting, SeO marketing campaigns, website content writing, “Call-to-action” design and implementation, graphic design, newsletter writing and distribution, press release writing and marketing, white paper writing and design, brochure writing and design and even give you ideas on where
to spend your advertising dollars in magazines and related media websites.
Real testimonials are a must
a professional website auditor should be able to provide you with testimonials from previous and current clients. in most cases, a website auditor will have testimonials of clients stating the results they received by hiring the professional website auditor. Testimonials can be text based or video based and must include testimonials from
legitimate or prominent names in your industry. Testimonials do not have to be industry related as an experienced website auditor can adapt to any industry and
provide real results.
By reading or viewing testimonials, you get first-hand experience from a previous or existing client that has used a website auditor’s services. Testimonials instill trust,
especially when coming from someone with a prominent name in the industry.
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The needs of your customers are changing, fast. Parallels’ Service Provider Partner Program helps you adopt enabling technologies — like virtualization and automation — so you can better serve your customers, bring more value to your offerings, and increase revenue for your business.
Learn how you can become a Parallels Partner by visitingwww.parallels.com/partners.
Profit. With the Parallels Service Provider Partner Program.
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Make sure your website is ready in 2010 and the coming years to attract
more qualified leads, increase
traffic, and convert more
visitors to customers.
Ask for a website audit portfolio
in some cases, a website audit portfolio is a combination of multiple portfolios that include website content, marketing content, and design content. a professional
website auditor can show you examples from portfolio pieces in addition to reports and statistics that are not posted in a portfolio. if you do not see a portfolio
specifically for website audits, ask the website auditor for more information.
Review existing website audit case studies
Case studies are a great way to showcase the work of a professional website auditor. if case studies do not exist on the website auditor’s website, ask for specific examples as some case studies may not be available to the public.
Some companies do not want to share their results with competing companies. a professional website auditor will evaluate the type of information you need to know
to make the right decision and provide you with examples.
Proven results are a must
Before hiring a website auditor, ask for detailed results on similar projects. a website auditor can tell you statistics on how a website’s traffic and conversion
ratios have increased as a result of planning, implementing, and deploying a professional website audit. a professional website auditor should have a
professional website that has been audited. if the website auditor you are hiring has a website, look at the interface design, navigation, content, and “Call-to-
action” elements. You should be motivated to take action.
Trust your website auditor
Before you hire a website auditor, you need to have reviewed enough compelling information that demonstrates why you should trust the website auditor you plan to hire. Before the website auditor starts your project, you should feel confident that you hired the right person based on their previous experience and proven results. That said, listen carefully to the website auditor you hire and implement what the
website auditor recommends. The payoff will be rewarding.
An outside perspective
a professional website auditor will review your website from an outside perspective. When you work with your own products and services daily, you become submersed in a subjective environment. When you hire a website auditor, you get an experienced, objective perspective that will ultimately help you take your products and services to the next level. an outside perspective will open up ideas and help you see things in a
different way compared to what you see from an internal perspective.
Get your website ready for more sales
make sure your website is ready in 2010 and the coming years to attract more qualified leads, increase traffic, and convert more visitors to customers. Start by hiring a professional website auditor to review your website and uncover all the
possible ways your website can convert visitors to customers, increase sales and revenue, and simply motivate your visitors to take action. as 2010 approaches, set
aside a piece of your marketing budget and contact a website auditor today.
Writer's Bio: Dave Young is a professional writer, website auditor, marketing consultant, SEO guru, and founder of Young Copy, a leading promotional and technical writing services firm. Visit www.youngcopy.com
to learn how you can boost your company’s revenues.
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Offer More. With Parallels Automation.With the Parallels Automation suite, you can completely automate your business and empower your customers, from a single software platform. Parallels increases your revenue per user by enabling the widest set of automated services including hosted Microsoft Exchange with many add-on services, shared hosting, Microsoft SharePoint, virtual private servers, SaaS and more.
Don’t settle for just another plain vanilla solution — give your customers more of the good stuff with Parallels Automation!
www.parallels.com/pas
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ConfiCkerIn RetRospect
There are a few cardinal rules when it comes to computer security. These rules are easy to follow and can prevent quite a lot of computer viruses and malware infections. The first rule of course is to use strong passwords. The second rule is to update your software. The third rule is to use some form of anti-malware tools. These three rules are basic and have been around for decades now. What is surprising is how few users follow these three simple rules and because of the lack of adherence, the stage was set for the virus Conficker to infect 4% of all PCs in the world at its zenith. The Three Functions of Conficker
Conficker (a.k.a Downup, Downandup, and Kido) first surfaced near at the tail end of November in 2008. It was a rather simple virus with only three main functions: self-propagate, shutdown security, and report back to the command servers.
In order to self-propagate, the worm used a Windows buffer overrun vulnerability. It does so by sending out an RPC (remote procedure call) request and once the overrun occurs it launches code to download the worm file and install it on the new machine. But in order to get to that part in the first place the worm uses brute force attacks to get the Administrator password. Sadly the brute force password table the worm uses includes such heavy passwords as 1, 1111, 1234567, admin, test, and the like.
Once the virus has gained access to the new computer, it ensures its own survival by shutting down the wuauserv (Windows Update Service) and the BITS (Background Intelligence Transfer Service) service. Windows uses both services to download updates. With the services shutdown, Conficker creates a block list for web sites containing certain keywords such as threatexpert, pctools, eset, norton, mcafee, sophos, trendmicro, and the list goes on. Essentially, any web site where you can get tools to scan your system become blacklisted.
The last function of Conficker is to report back to the master control server and receive updates, information, and further commands. It is this function that makes the Conficker an agent for one of the largest botnets in the world. What is surprising though, is that this botnet is still dormant.
[continued]
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The exploits that Conficker uses are all easily fixed. In fact, if Windows users were only using the bare minimum of security protection (e.g. following the three rules), Conficker would probably have been DOA. (The Windows vulnerability Conficker exploits to cause a buffer run was already patched by Microsoft the previous month.) It does not generate passwords for its brute force attack, instead it uses a table of passwords and the passwords in that table are the type of passwords that no self-respecting PC user would ever use. Lastly, many of the big name anti-virus software companies were able to clean the threat the moment it went live. Several other anti-virus vendors issued updates to their software within days of the initial sighting.
That is how Conficker could have ended. The reality however is much, much different.
Rise of a Botnet Super PowerConficker first surfaced November 21st, 2008. In the beginning of January, some reports estimated the number of infected computers to be around the 3 million mark. Other reports state it around 2.4 million. F-Secure, an anti-virus security firm, estimated the number to be closer to 9 million on January 19th. Infections were, and still are, difficult to track considering the ease at which the virus spreads and how quickly it can be removed once discovered.
Security experts managed to hack the Conficker virus and made a list of the servers it calls to for updates and instructions. This break through leads investigators to determine that the author of the Conficker virus had something planned for April 1st, 2009. (Media scramble to release the information.) Although more computer users were actively searching and removing infections, some researchers concluded that month of January ends with roughly 15 million infected computers.
Spearheading the movement to shutdown Conficker, a group of researchers formed the Conficker Work Group. One of the goals of the Work Group was to learn the algorithm Conficker used to contact domains to receive instructions. Upon learning the algorithm, the Work Group set out to use the information to track infections and to shut down the command servers. Without instructions, Conficker would be doomed to extinction. In retaliation, the author of Conficker built variant C.
Variant C used p2p technology with each infected computer becoming a node in a massive update web. If one node received instructions then, it would rapidly pass to all the other infection computers.
Removing the need for a centralized computer, the author essentially shutdown the Work Groups ability to deactivate Conficker. What's more, instructions were encoded with a digital signature to prevent others from sending their own instructions to the new worm.
The beginning of February showed a different side to the Conficker virus. Originally, media believed that only home, small to midsized business, and a few data center users had been infected. However, reports begin coming out that the French naval air force, Great Britain's RAF and Royal Navy as well as a number of Fortune 1000 companies were affected by the virus. The virus effectively stopped the French from flying their Rafael
multi-role combat interceptors for a number of days and the infection managed to get into the French Intramar navy computer network. In the UK, infections hit more than 24 RAF bases and 75% of the Royal Navy Fleet. Estimations of the number of infections ranged between 9 and 15 million.
April Fool's day came and went without much fanfare. The expected bombshell everyone was waiting for happens without a single shot fired. The fact that the programmed event did not occur meant that the Conficker botnet had received new instructions. The new instructions could mean that anything is possible. The media response on the other hand, likens Conficker to the Y2K bug and in several articles explain how the Conficker threat was exaggerated. By mid-April the estimates fluctuate wildly between an estimated 4.6 million infected PCs to as many as 4% of the entire PC population.
At the end of April, Conficker makes its move. The botnet downloads a second virus, which sends out email spam. Conficker then downloads a third virus that warns the computer user that their computer is infected by a harmful computer virus and requires the faux anti-virus software Spyware Protect 2009. After a user purchases the software for $49.95, their credit card information is stolen and the new program goes on to perform more mischief on the user's computer.
Since then, Conficker has remained unstoppable and uncapturable. The amount of infections has reached the 7 million (unlike previous estimations this estimation has received a vast consensus) mark. It has also remained fairly quiet considering its size and its abilities to run malicious code on command.
It is threats like Conficker that show how important protecting your PC truly is. If users had been updating their software, if users had been using strong passwords, and if users had been using security software, Conficker would not have even emerged as a threat, nor would it be in the position of power it is today.
If users had been updating their software, if
users had been using strong passwords, and if users had been using security software, conficker would not have even
emerged as a threat.
Writer’s Bio: David Dunlap has been both a Web host industry analyst and commentator for the past nine years. Prior to his active writing career, David was a network and communications technician for four years for the U.S. government. He currently is the Editor-in-Chief for WebHostMagazine.com
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wishlistWe at Ping! Zine have compiled nine items (nine because we couldn’t think of one more) that any geek in the web hosting industry would love to have this holiday season.
9 Holiday Geek Gifts
Apple Magic Mouseapple has just introduced its latest cool gadget: apple magic mouse. The magic mouse uses the same multi-touch technology as the iPhone, allowing users to click, drag, scroll and swipe anywhere on the mouse. Oh, and it’s low-profile sleek design is also pretty sexy.
Visit http://store.apple.com for pricing
iNetMania Appinetmania is a cool new app for the iPhone that allows you to grow your own website company from the ground up. Gamers will have to grow their web traffic, while dealing with real world issues and challenges.
Visit http://www.inetmania.com for more information or to download this app.
Rackmount Specialists: Twin 1-U ServersDefinitely one of the coolest items announced this year in the hosting industry was Rackmount Specialists' Twin-1U Rackmount Servers, which allow users to mount two servers side by side instead of the traditional stacked way.
Visit http://www.rackmountspecialists.com for pricing
Windows 7now we can all put Windows Vista behind us and move on to Windows 7. Windows claims it will simplify everyday task, work the way you want it to, and make new things possible. Can it do all this without crashing?
Visit http://www.microsoft.com for pricing
bY derek morris
[continued]
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Call us today at 604-731-5530, or check us out at www.eBridgeMarketingSolutions.com.
Lost in a crowd of hosting companies...Separate yourself with eBridge
Media Buying & Planning • Search Engine Optimization Design & Development • Web Analytics Implementation Site Review & Consulting • Affiliate Program Development Copywriting • Strategic Planning & Consulting • Campaign Management Paid Search Management • Web Hosting & Internet Based Business Brokering
ad 3 - Gears.indd 1 11/9/2009 2:25:01 PM
ThinkGeek.com Geek Apparelmaybe some of you fashion-minded geeks will get a kick out of this. Thinkgeek.com is an online apparel and product company offering the latest fashion trends and cool items in the geek world. every geek needs an interactive t-shirt!
Visit http://www.thinkgeek.com for more information
wishlist[continued]
Toshiba NB205-N310 NetbookToshiba is now one of the leaders when it comes to netbooks, but the new nB205-n310 netbook puts them at the top of the game. This sleek and sexy netbook features a great design and the longest battery life of any netbook to date.
Visit http://www.toshiba.com for more information.
Call us today at 604-731-5530, or check us out at www.eBridgeMarketingSolutions.com.
Lost in a crowd of hosting companies...Separate yourself with eBridge
Media Buying & Planning • Search Engine Optimization Design & Development • Web Analytics Implementation Site Review & Consulting • Affiliate Program Development Copywriting • Strategic Planning & Consulting • Campaign Management Paid Search Management • Web Hosting & Internet Based Business Brokering
ad 3 - Gears.indd 1 11/9/2009 2:25:01 PM
Packet Power Smart CablesPacket Power has emerged recently in the hosting industry with their unique smart power cables. These babies monitor temperature and power consumption, allowing data centers to reduce cost, power consumption and get on the “green” bandwagon.
Visit http://www.packetpower.com for pricing
GoDaddy.com Gift CardI challenge you to find a person that doesn’t need a go-Daddy gift card. if you buy as many domains as i do for websites you will never develop, then this is the perfect gift. BTW, i also hear that goDaddy has other services by the way!
Visit http://www.godaddy.com for more information.
Mobile Work StationOk, i realize that nobody really needs this, but how awesome would it be to have this sitting around the office. Just imagine the possibilities, like Office Jousting and Cross-Office Racing. Also, if you can figure out how to install a motor on this bad boy, you will definitely have the coolest toy in the office.
Visit http://www.opulentitems.com for pricing
If you are a generous person and feel that it is better to give than to receive, please buy one of the above items and send it to:Ping! Zine, 1406 S. Range ave, Ste. 1, Denham Springs, La 70726. P!
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Search engine traffic is probably the internet’s leading source of targeted buyers. Nowhere else online do people
explicitly tell you what they’re looking to buy, and nowhere else do you have the opportunity to find potential
web hosting clients who have their credit card in hand. The problem is, your competitors also know that search is a powerful advertising medium, and with over a million
people a month searching for “web hosting”, both paid advertising and organic search engine optimization for web
hosting has become an extremely competitive niche.
What’s a web hosting company to do? How do you compete with the large advertising budgets and high Cost of Acquisition that your competitors are using? Here are a few
tips that will help you propel your web site’s rankings and get more customers:
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employ good on page practices – make sure your website code is validated and can be crawled by search engines. Your website needs to have unique content and preferably a good amount of it. This helps with Organic Search and will also improve your google adwords Quality Score if you are advertising through adWords.
avoid Spam Tactics – Using tactics like doorway pages, stuffed keywords, link farms and other “black hat” tactics won’t work long term and will only result in getting your site banned from search engines.
Target niche Phrases – While ranking for “web hosting” is a laudable goal, you will get more conversions and find it easier to rank for longer phrases, such as “small business web hosting” and “blog hosting”. not only that, you’ll experience a higher tier of customers if you target more lucrative niche phrases.
Build Links to Your Site – most modern search engines rely heavily on links to a site to determine the popularity and ranking ability of a website. The more quality web links a site has, the better chance it will rank for more competitive terms. Link building is an art unto itself, but you can start the process by soliciting links from satisfied customers, affiliates, vendors, and advertising companies. There are many pitfalls to be wary of, including over optimization and getting your site banned from Search engines, so it’s a good idea to learn more about link building before beginning.
enter the Social Web – Being active on sites like Twitter, Stumble Upon, Facebook and Digg can help both your company’s reputation and give you a better chance at ranking for competitive terms. give an employee the extra job of being responsible for maintaining your company’s social media accounts, and have him interact with both existing and prospective customers.
Optimize for Conversions – Perhaps one of the most overlooked parts of web marketing, conversion optimization entails taking your existing web site and use various tools to test, measure and discover which parts of your site convert the best. This allows you to test different ad creative, copy and promotions to see which results in the most customers. if you can only do one thing today in your marketing, it’s a very good idea to start optimizing and making more money from your existing traffic.
Writer’s Bio: Ariel Ozick is CEO of Wired Rhino, Inc. and can be reached at [email protected] is happy to receive any feedback and answer questions related to Search Marketing.
Search Engine Optimization
for web hosting
companies is a tough
vertical, but the benefits in terms of customers
and branding are enormous.
Try starting with these
simple steps listed above,
and with a lot of
work and some luck,
you too can start getting
customers from Search.
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ad:tech is the largest conference for online marketers. With shows in nine world-wide cities, including San Francisco, London and Paris, ad:tech is taking online marketing to the next level with a big-time presence. Case in point: CnBC cameras could be found wandering around the tradeshow floor past the booths of giants like Google, Facebook and neilsen.
To understand what ad:tech is about, you really need to understand the face of digital marketing today. While there was a good mix of attendees, including (more than a few) investment bankers, the show is really geared for two types of people: affiliate marketers and companies focused on online advertising. The ad:tech NYC 2009 show floor was packed with 300 new media companies with only three web hosts present: DedicatednOW, gSi Hosting and Rackspace. With so much going on in the digital advertising space and so many dollars being spent on supportive infrastructure, it’s almost appalling that the presence from the hosting industry was so minimal.
So what kind of business could be done at ad:tech for web hosts?
i would not classify the show as a smorgasbord of web hosting leads, but i can tell you that lead generation from the ad:tech show possibly surpassed that of HostingCon, which is considered the event for web hosting companies. Regardless of the volume and quality of new prospects generated by each of the three hosting companies at ad:tech, having the opportunity to meet and speak face-to-face with expert affiliates is alone worth the cost and time to attend this show.
although i have the opportunity to attend several shows covering digital advertising each year, such as Affiliate Summit and PubCon, this was my first ad:tech experience. The other shows have their appeal, but i’m already planning my next trip to ad:tech.
ad:tech NYC 2009
bY josh ewin
Writer’s Bio: Josh is Director of Sales & Marketing for DedicatedNOW and manages the DedicatedDollars.com affiliate program.
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People usually try to find a magic word and register it as a web address. When it comes to web hosting, this means registering domain names that include “webhosting” as part of the web address. Some say that adding this phrase to their domain name is very important in order to reach a high rank in the search engines. Is it true?
Of course not. I don’t ever remember seeing Webhosting.com or Hosting.com rank top by using the search terms, “web hosting” or “hosting”. Hosting.com has always been top ranked using the keyword “hosting”. It would be strange if a popular web hosting service provider did not register Hosting.com to be ranked among top sites on the same keyword. At the same time, this website has not been on the first page of Google’s “web hosting” search phrase for years; which means that the website is not well optimized or it is not relevant enough. (However I will not doubt the relevance of Hosting.com’s rank using the search phrase, “web hosting”.) Getting back to the original topic of domain names and web addresses...What tools are needed to make the big decision?
It is very important to keep in mind the type of web hosting related website you are preparing to launch. There are always different approaches to use depending on your goals. When choosing a name for a web hosting service provider, you could call it “The Crazy Chicken”, “Web Nest” or “Webware”, as long as you choose a name that consumers will remember. GoDaddy and FatCow are two of the best examples of dot-com business names that I’m sure I have yet to forget.
Another option is to register a web address that include the words “hosting”, “host”, and/or “web hosting”. This is certainly an option to consider, but it will not help you very much with your brand name recognition. Hostway, HostMySite, HostGator, Host Color, Hostican, Bluehost, are only a few
www.ThePerfectDomainName.com
bY DiMiTar aVraMoV
Always choose a name that consumers will remember
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examples of sites which have included the word “host” as the main part of their domain name. There are many more domains existing with the word “hosting” as a main part of their name.
In all honesty, I do believe that it is a good idea to include the word “host” as a part of the domain name of any web hosting service provider. However, the keywords “hosting” and “web hosting” are much more useful when it comes to reference, media websites, or web hosting categories and indexes. Anyone who has been involved in web hosting as a consumer, as a provider, or even as a journalist knows about WebHostingTalk.com, Webhostinggeeks, Webhostdir, Webhosting.info, FindMyHosting.com, and etc.
When your plan is to use your web address for a service provider my suggestion to you to stands. Choose a unique and hard to forget domain name. You may include numbers such as 123reg.co.uk (a popular domain registrar) or 1and1 (one of the world’s biggest web hosting companies). The perfect name for your site will always be the one that answers the question: What does this company do? A good example of this is WeDoHosting.com, one of the most popular Canadian web hosting service providers.
The best web address for you will be the one that sends your message to the targeted audience. But remember, even if you have it in your pocket, the web address will usually be registered by someone else. Today’s web hosting market is saturated and there aren’t many free-to-register web addresses. Those preparing to enter into the market are required to use their imaginations.
To view this article or others like it online, go to: http://www.dawhb.com/?p=866
www.ThePerfectDomainName.com
It is a good idea to include
the word “host” in the domain
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HostingCon 2010 will be held in Austin, Texas, on July 19-21 at the austin Convention Center located in the heart of the Texas Capital.
HostingCon attracts web hosts, data centers, software-as-a-service (SaaS), iSPs and other infrastructure providers from around the world. in 2009, HostingCon attendees represented more than thirty countries. Whether traveling from near or far, HostingCon attendees expect a high-class location to do business as well as to relax and enjoy the time away.
“We recognize that HostingCon attendees not only come to learn, network and grow but to also have fun.” stated Troy augustine, President, and CeO of ineT interactive, the producer of HostingCon. “austin, Texas, provides the perfect combination of work and play and therefore it is an ideal location for HostingCon 2010.”
HostingCon Heads to austin, tX
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So what exactly makes Austin the ideal location for HostingCon 2010?
LoCationaustin is the 16th largest city in the U.S., and is one of the country’s top technology cities. it’s centrally located, and within a few hours of many large data centers and hosting companies.
enteRtainMentaustin is the LiVe mUSiC CaPiTaL OF THe WORLD. On any given night, live music plays at any of nearly 200 venues throughout the city. in addition to its country super-stars, austin is the cradle of musical talent for the likes of Stevie Ray Vaughan and Janis Joplin. and the area’s hottest entertainment districts (Sixth Street, the Warehouse and Red River Districts) are just a few short blocks from the Convention Center.
aCCessiBiLitYThe Convention Center is just 7.5 miles from the austin-Bergstrom international airport—one of the top three airports worldwide for its size. it’s just a $15 taxi or $10 Shuttle ride from the airport, and its walking distance to world-class dining, a thriving cultural scene and excellent hotels. a LittLe BattYaustin is home to north america’s largest urban bat population, with up to 1.5 million mexican free-tailed bats roosting under the Congress Avenue Bridge. Thousands flock downtown nightly to watch the bats take flight at dusk.
siLiCon HiLLsa technologically-focused city, austin is headquarters for Dell Computer Corporation and major operations for iBm, Samsung, Freescale and advanced micro Devices.
gReeneR PastuResaustin was listed as the “greenest City” in america by mSn.com. The city currently leads the country in wind power and biodiesel production.
The city of austin will be the perfect location for HostingCon 2010, allowing conference attendees and exhibitors to conduct business in one of the most unique settings in america.
exhibitors at HostingCon know the conference is the most convenient place to meet buyers and identify new partnership opportunities to take their business to the next level. Here’s what a few exhibitors had to say about the experience in the HostingCon 2009 post-show survey:
• “Top quality prospects walking the hall. I was amazed how many were C level from large firms.”• “The attendees were from our target market and were interested in our products – this is our second year as an exhibitor and we have signed up for next year in austin.”• “Good attendee crowd. Well qualified.”• “Right target audience.”• “The quality of sponsors and attendees is always a huge draw, as is the large scale setting and access to so many great exhibits.”
Interested in exhibiting at HostingCon 2010? Exhibit hall space for the conference is filling up fast, with 53% of the show floor currently sold out.
Learn about exhibitor and sponsorship opportunities at HostingCon.com
Looking to attend HostingCon 2010? Registration for the conference is now open. Register now and save up to $240 on your full conference registration! act fast, Super early Bird savings expire on 12/31/2009!
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054 | Ping! Zine magaZine
i have interviewed people from all walks of life, from heads-of-state to giants-of-industry, but the interview i present to you now, is one of great importance, nay it will change your very life and shake you to your core. never have i met someone with such vast working knowledge of the industry. never have i discussed such a wide range of topics and had answers shot back in such violent clarity.
and without further eloquence, i now divulge my interview with Ted Deracruz, regional coordinator of intellectual capital, Disseminator of joviality, and First impressions Management at seo’ers anonymous. with a title that impressive, Ted must be important and in-order to interview such an important executive of seo’ers anonymous, i have conscripted the help of Ping! zines’ Derek Morris. and now lets get started.
Ted Deracruz
bY DaViD DunlaP Dave: so Ted... Teddums... herr Tedmeister..
Derek: *clears throat*
Dave: right... Ted, what is it that you do as the regional coordinator of intellectual capital, Disseminator of joviality, and First impressions Management?
Ted: i perform a wide variety of functions and commissions that are presented to me by the Director of human harmonization that includes but not limited to the possibilities of completing said objectives in a timely and efficient manner.
Dave: huh?
Derek: seriously... what do you do?
Ted: i receive personages with a sense of jocoseness and prudence, direct individuals to various staffers, and ensure that all intellectual resources are running expeditiously.
Derek: human thesaurus no doubt.
Ted: hardly.
Dave: so... you are a secretary?
Ted: Definite no.
Derek: Do you answer phones or file paperwork?
Ted: no and no.
Derek: schedule appointments?
Ted: Yes... no. actually thinking about it can’t say i have.
Dave: well we can safely assume that he is not a secretary.
Derek: Do you, in fact, do anything at all?
Ted: without the merest shadow of a doubt.
Dave: This is going nowhere.
Derek: Do you have any clue as to what your job really is?
Ted: certainly, i am the regional coordinator of intellectual capital, Disseminator of joviality, and First impressions Management! i am the rFicDjFiM!
Derek: i think you need more vowels in that bud.
David: gesundheit! well regional must be something, what would be your region? Western US? Midwest? Europe? Asiatic Pacific?
Ted: well the break room actually.
Derek: …
David: …
Ted: it is quite staggeringly large.
Derek: Tell us Ted, you wouldn’t happen to be related to the ceo would you?
Ted: of course not, don’t be ridiculous!
Dave: well that’s a relief....
Ted: i’m related to the chair of the board of Trustees.
Derek: Figures.
Dave: This might be just me, but I think your job will be one of the first to be replaced by robots.
PROFESSIONALS OF MERIT
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