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Out and About Paris

For Parents of Teens

From Parents of Teens Written by Upper School Liaisons

Revised 2012

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Out and About Paris For Parents of Teens from Parents of Teens Welcome to the American School of Paris from the Upper School Liaisons! The Liaisons represent parents from each of the grades that comprise the upper school of ASP (grades 9-12.) We meet regularly with the Administration of the Upper School to discuss developments and issues of concern to the school, parents and community. We believe that ASP is a wonderful place for your teenage child to receive an excellent high school education and emerge prepared for their future wherever they choose to pursue their university studies. As parents, however, we also know that there is more to our children’s lives than what takes place on ASP’s campus. Paris is an exciting and vibrant city with a strong culture of youth-oriented activities. Young adults participate in and enjoy a wide variety of activities including community service, sports, theater, music, art, concerts (classical to the latest bands), and church-related functions to name a few. As parents, we have encouraged our children to take advantage of the broad array of opportunities that Paris and this community have to offer. We have attached a starter list in the resources section that provides some ideas of the types of activities that are available. Feel free to contact any one of us if you have questions. All of us have been new to the school and community at some point. We are happy to help. For many older students, there is also the question of “going out” in the evening with friends. This can be a difficult issue when the activity or destination may be unfamiliar to the parent. It is sometimes hard to gauge what “the other kids” really are doing, particularly as a recently arrived parent without a community network. This document is intended to help you understand the general parameters of what we believe happen when the teens are “out and about” with their friends. This document is not an attempt to provide rules, nor do we represent the school in presenting this information. It is intended as a basic tool for you to use as you guide your children as they begin to go out in the Paris area. What we present here is a “reality check”, trying to be honest and open about our understanding of what your teen may experience. We hope that the information provided here will help you to make informed decisions as you settle into life here and become personally knowledgeable about your teen’s life in the Paris area.

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Our Impression of the ASP Upper School Students – It is important to understand that although your child will be immersing into the culture of France, it will probably (and initially) be from within the context of the culture of the ASP students and their peers. These peers represent a wide diversity of experiences, cultural knowledge and expectations. In addition, the maturity levels of these teens vary based on grade, age, experience and personality. Generally, they share a common goal of a top university/college and for the most part tend to be responsible. They are “good kids.” However, they are teens and as such do not always correctly evaluate the risks they face. As parents, we must help guide them as they become responsible adults. Despite what your teen might say, we highly encourage parents to call each other to discuss proposed plans and their appropriateness for the particular teens in question. Parent to Parent Communication - We cannot say this strongly enough. It is imperative that parents talk with other parents. If your child is invited to a party, a sleepover or even to go out, call the other parents to be sure the understanding of the situation is mutual. We’ve all heard stories or seen movies (remember Risky Business?) about sleepovers that turned into a long evening “out” or party because the “hosting” parents were actually out of town for the weekend. Your call might alert another parent to an emerging problem or you could be happily reassured and have the beginning of a new friendship. If you do not have the phone number of the parent, call one of us and we will be happy to help you find the number. There is a student directory on Powerschool, found on the school website. The school also maintains a directory of phone numbers that is published as a booklet in the fall and is available online. Remember that a third of ASP parents were new within the last 2 years, the vast majority speaks English, and all of us care about the safety and well-being of our children. Your interest will be welcomed. Things to Bear in Mind– Although you child is probably physically safer in Paris than in a similarly sized US city, Europe has a different approach to alcohol than the US. Here in France our children can legally drink wine and beer at age 16. Experts have explained (and we agree) that this is something you must talk over with your children. There are important psychological and physiological issues to consider that should be evaluated within your own familial, cultural and social context. Among the teens we know, there is a wide range of “allowed” drinking behavior ranging from fully permitted to absolutely forbidden, with no guarantees that our teens follow these rules away from home. When your teen goes out, they will encounter friends at each point within this matrix. You should make your family’s “rules of the road” clear to your teen, while understanding the realities of the situation. In addition, as is the case virtually around the world, drugs are available in Paris. This is not a wide-spread problem among this group of students, but an informed parent should be aware of their presence. The good news is that teenagers cannot legally drive a car until age 18 in France.

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Basic Kit – When going out young adults should have: • Cell phone that is fully charged, turned ON and programmed with several contact numbers

(home, parents’ cell phones, adult contact in town, Pompiers-the French emergency number -18 and Police 17, number for a taxi service (i.e. Taxi Bleu 24 hour service- 0891 70 10 10 accepts most credit cards)

• Photo id ( a copy of the data page from their passport to establish nationality – suggested for all expats)

• Student id (for discounted rates) • Money to spend and to cover a taxi ride home in an emergency • Extra train/metro tickets (see Transportation section) • 2-3 friends, who commit to stay together, keep their phones ON and watch out for each

other and honor the same curfew. Both teen and parent should have the cell numbers for the friends programmed into their phones.

• Clear plan for the evening that is followed with adjustments called in to the parents. This should include where the teens are spending the night. With clear answers to Who, What, When, Where and How?

• Memorize emergency number (home and parents) in case phone is stolen or out of battery

Behavior Rules of Thumb • Pay attention to what is going on around you - Put your phones, music etc away while

walking around • Travel in small groups and look out for each other • Keep your cell phone charged and ON • Make sure each person is able to get home safely or have a place to spend the night • Do not draw attention to yourself with clothing or behavior that signals your national status • Don’t get too loud • Learn and use as much French as possible • Avoid empty streets and stay in well lit areas • Avoid empty train compartments (sit in the front compartment if possible where the engineer

sits) change seats in the metro or train if you find yourself sitting too far from other people (seats by the exit door can be easy theft areas)

• If approached don’t fight back or taunt • Don’t put yourself in the position of attracting the attention of the police, but if you are

stopped, be respectful and responsive • Keep your money and identification papers in separate places (in the case of theft or loss,

there is a “safety net.”) • Move away from areas of demonstrations or strike actions • Always respect the laws of France

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Geography – The kids tend to want to go to three key parts of the city

1. Ave des Champs Elysees • variety of restaurants and movie theaters • Few clubs that are not strict about checking ID (especially for young girls) • Some restaurants or coffee houses serve Shisha or Hooka (flavored tobacco

smoked in groups) • Usually safe busy tourist area that may be a target for quick theft

2. Champ de Mars (the large field under the Eiffel Tower)

• is a popular gathering place for teens in general and ASP students in the fall and spring

• considered by teens as an area of socializing and guitar playing • has few adults present with pockets of alcohol and drug use • Not recommended for students under the age of 16

3. Latin Quarter • offers inexpensive restaurants, bars, and clubs • ranging from pool to salsa dancing to more intense club experiences with

attendant substance issues Areas to Avoid/Exercise Particular Caution • Street-crime occurs in all neighborhoods so exercise caution at all times • In general, areas to avoid include north of Paris toward the Northern Suburbs (e.g. St. Denis

and area toward Stade de France) Although events here are well policed, lingering is not a good idea

• Large train stations such as Gare du Nord can be “meeting places” for gangs • Avoid La Defense area after dark although the train station, movie theatre and shopping

centre are well-frequented and are “safe” to use with normal caution. It’s safe when there are lots of people

• Avoid Nanterre and Bois de Boulogne after dark • Chatelet-Les Halles avoid late evenings due to gangs and girls should be especially cautious Curfew – This can vary by family and cultural norms • Metro starts closing at 12:30am; can be difficult to get a taxi home after that (finding a taxi

can sometimes take more than an hour, particularly in the Latin Quarter.) • Many ASP parents give a curfew that ensures sufficient time to get home • consider calling parents of your child’s friend to synchronize curfew times • Special occasions (e.g. Nuit Blanche,) the city of Paris may extend operating hours of the

Metro and RER A • Families living in the suburbs - know the times of the last two trains

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The Suburb/City Question • Often it is a split between the number of ASP Families who live in Paris and in the Suburbs • Young Adults often like to spend time in Paris • Traveling alone late at night to the suburbs is not always advisable • Suburban parents should discuss transportation plans in detail with their teens or can allow

them to spend the night with a city-based friend • Many city-based parents are happy to allow their teens friends to spend the night • Always communicate with other parents to be sure they will be there • Agree upon mutually acceptable curfew times and know if it is a “night out” or simply a

sleepover plan • !"##$%&'()&"%*+,)-,,%*.(/,%)0*(%1*),,%0*(%1*(#"%2*.(/,%)0*&0*'/&)&'(3!

!!Transportation Metro/Buses • Some families provide their teen with a Navigo card (applications available at SNCF stations)

which gives them unlimited travel within certain zones, Metro, RER, buses and Tramway • Always make sure the teens have extra train tickets. Keep the current ticket until the end of

your journey in case there is a random police check • Do not “jump” turnstiles or skip the payment -fines are heavily and immediate payment is

required • The subway and buses are generally safe and easily available • Always follow the guidelines for safe travel and exercise caution with your belongings • Watch out for Pickpockets ,iphone/ipod thieves • Avoid nearly empty train cars, particularly late at night. Take the first car to be near the

conductor if there is one • Be careful when entering, exiting or going through turnstiles - often pickpockets strike in tight

crowded areas • Paris has a extensive Bus system and Buses can be a safer alternative as there is always a

driver on board (Some trains now are automatic –driverless) • Bus map books such as “Le Petit Parisien 3 Plans” provide useful detailed bus route info Taxis • look for official taxis sign with light box on the roof • generally safe mode of transportation; girls should not use alone late at night • expensive yet difficult to find; can be non-responsive to phone call orders • many can be reluctant to travel to the suburbs

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Police - Dial 17 • In France Police can stop anyone at any time so always carry your identification paper and

some money • If stopped always cooperate politely Pompiers – Dial 18 for medical emergency • Their name means firefighters but they are highly trained medical technicians who carry a

mobile emergency room !• Experts advise calling them instead of SAMU (number 15) as they have better access to

facilities and training!• French word for help is SECOUR ! Physical Safety • Paris is relatively a very safe city; We know of relatively few situations where students have

been harmed by others when out • Always be discrete and respect the culture • Keep a low profile and do not attract attention to your foreign status • Do not flash possessions like money, iPhone, Blackberry, headphones or other electronics • Beware of your surroundings and avoid lonely situations • If threatened by potential thieves, surrender money or other items; your physical well-being is

more important • Keep money, phone and ID in separate places so you do not lose everything • At Bars hold your drinks in your hands and do not leave them unattended – someone can

easily slip something in there • Know signs of alcohol poisoning • When walking home watch out for followers and do not let them enter your home/building

with you Information about Activities • Be informed about events around the city to help suggest ideas or assess appropriateness of

your teen’s plans • Wednesday edition of the French newspaper Le Figaro contains Figaroscope that provides

information on cultural events around the Paris area • Pariscope is a weekly publication (available at bookstores/newsstands) provides concise

listing of the week’s events • Many town halls (Maries) offer activities for young people usually in French • The International Herald Tribune provides weekly updates on cultural events in Paris and

around Europe • The USA State Department provides email broadcast service to US Citizens who live

overseas with updates about potentially dangerous situations • US Embassy website http://france.usembassy.gov also provides useful information for

people traveling and living in France

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Resources Websites for Movies/Activities • www.paris.angloinfo.com • www.expatica.com Taxis • List of taxi stands and telephone numbers www.parisby.com/transpor/taxi.htm • www.taxisg7.fr (can order a taxi in English with an English website)

(English service phone number is 0141276699) • Taxi Blue 0891701010 Public Transport Info • ratp.fr French Publications • Le Figaro – Wednesday section Figaroscope • Pariscope – detailed weekly publication on all activities US Embassy • www.france.usembassy.gov • Information on avoiding pickpockets – www.france.usembassy.gov/pickpockets.htm

Our best advice: Get to know other families and talk with other parents and with your teens to make the most of the time you all have in Paris. This is an exceptional city. Many families have had great experiences and remember fondly their time in Paris. We hope that you will too. "#$%!&'()*+,-!$%!./$--+,!01!233+/!4(#''5!6$7$%',%!7%!7!8)$&+!9'/!-#+!97*$5$+%!7,&!&'+%!,'-!/+3/+%+,-!-#+!%(#''5!$,!3/+%+,-$,8!-#$%!$,9'/*7-$',:!25-$*7-+51!1')!7/+!/+%3',%$05+!9'/!1')/!7(-$',%:!