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100:00:00,879 --> 00:00:03,354All right, everybody.Great season of softball,

200:00:03,368 --> 00:00:04,703

I'm super proud of you, guys.

300:00:04,726 --> 00:00:06,615And I think you're gonna like this

400:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,587little highlight reelthat I've put together.

5

00:00:09,098 --> 00:00:10,789Dunder Mifflin!

600:00:10,883 --> 00:00:12,303Andy Bernard presents...

700:00:12,399 --> 00:00:14,719Summer Softball, epic fails!

800:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,474

Fail.

900:00:17,630 --> 00:00:19,062Fail.

1000:00:19,089 --> 00:00:21,209- That's me.- Fail.

11

00:00:21,228 --> 00:00:22,479Is this like a blooper reel?

1200:00:22,526 --> 00:00:25,127A blooper reel? What is this, 2005?

1300:00:25,222 --> 00:00:27,122Do I look like Bob Saget?

1400:00:27,149 --> 00:00:28,643

Fail!

15

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00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:31,279Who's this guy?

1600:00:31,402 --> 00:00:33,268 Meow, meow, meow, meowmeow, meow, meow, meow

1700:00:33,270 --> 00:00:34,501Look at him dance. Fail!

1800:00:34,586 --> 00:00:35,619Fail.

1900:00:36,290 --> 00:00:37,566I deserve that.

2000:00:37,675 --> 00:00:40,566 Doont-de-doont-de-doont,doont-de-doont-de-doont

2100:00:40,628 --> 00:00:41,844That was a triple.

2200:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,634Can't take the fail? Get

out of the fail video!

2300:00:44,760 --> 00:00:45,759My pleasure.

2400:00:45,799 --> 00:00:47,278Hi, I'm Pete.

2500:00:47,334 --> 00:00:49,927Puberty is such a drag, man.

2600:00:50,029 --> 00:00:53,061And I'm Clark. I liketo eat toilet paper.

2700:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,768We fail.

2800:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,544

I'd like to take a solemnmoment to remember Jerry,

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2900:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,827in the warehouse, whopassed away this year.

3000:01:05,890 --> 00:01:07,824

Well, that's all, folks.

3100:01:08,063 --> 00:01:09,996Ski you later, everybody.

3200:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,690Thanks for a great season.

3300:01:12,363 --> 00:01:13,385

What was that?

3400:01:13,410 --> 00:01:16,058That was just normal videowith you making vulgar noises.

3500:01:16,095 --> 00:01:18,054Well, I worked with what I had, Oscar.

3600:01:18,091 --> 00:01:21,672

Next time, do morefail-ier stuff, okay?

3700:01:21,779 --> 00:01:23,416What happened to that video I sent you?

3800:01:23,477 --> 00:01:25,467Oh, that wasn't--that didn't work.

3900:01:25,577 --> 00:01:26,643That was... not the right thing.

4000:01:26,645 --> 00:01:27,710- Wait, let's see it.- Play it.

4100:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,413- I think I got itright here. - No--

4200:01:36,987 --> 00:01:38,988

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Oh!

4300:01:38,990 --> 00:01:41,357Forgot about this.

44

00:01:42,794 --> 00:01:44,093That was not a fail.

4500:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,108That was actually a serious accident

4600:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,051that could've resultedin severe bodily harm.

4700:01:48,092 --> 00:01:49,905- Fail, fail, fail. -You're all failing right now.

4800:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,869Congratulations on your epic fail

4900:01:51,887 --> 00:01:54,020of the use of the word fail.

5000:02:05,357 --> 00:02:07,607Oh, God.

5100:02:08,805 --> 00:02:10,071What's going on?

5200:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,461Nothing, nothing is goingon. Keep moving, please.

5300:02:12,492 --> 00:02:13,564What's he measuring?

5400:02:13,573 --> 00:02:15,811Okay, excuse me, I'm the landlord.

5500:02:15,827 --> 00:02:17,060This is between me and the management,

5600:02:17,062 --> 00:02:18,361no one else, please.

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5700:02:18,375 --> 00:02:19,975It's an EMF hotspot.

5800:02:19,995 --> 00:02:21,394

Oh, my God!

5900:02:21,421 --> 00:02:23,903It stands for electromagneticfields generally caused

6000:02:23,908 --> 00:02:26,539by a concentrationof wiring in one area,

6100:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,829especially if poorly insulated.

6200:02:28,893 --> 00:02:29,919Dwight?

6300:02:30,041 --> 00:02:33,147Um, okay, I'm just walking into this.

64

00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,179Am I to understand there'sa beehive in the wall?

6500:02:36,530 --> 00:02:38,942You think I have a machinefor measuring beehives?

6600:02:39,018 --> 00:02:40,718I was just asking a question, Toby.

6700:02:40,752 --> 00:02:42,218How are you not murdered every hour?

6800:02:42,889 --> 00:02:45,880Well, I'm not getting paidto work in a microwave oven.

6900:02:45,952 --> 00:02:49,127Okay, listen, everything

here is up to code.

70

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00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:51,915Oh, the wires need insulation.

7100:02:51,930 --> 00:02:55,298It's a wire, people. I'mnot buying it a fur coat.

7200:03:00,037 --> 00:03:01,371- Thank you.- You got it.

7300:03:01,404 --> 00:03:04,778Last week, I finally toldPam about the other job

74

00:03:04,797 --> 00:03:06,881- I took in Philly, the side job.- Thank you.

7500:03:06,900 --> 00:03:10,331And she was so incredibly cool about it.

7600:03:10,548 --> 00:03:14,392And now, I just want todo something huge for her.

7700:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,962Like if we were in some biker bar,

7800:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,513and she mouthed off to some bikers,

7900:03:18,543 --> 00:03:21,225and they came lumberingover, and I was like, "wham!

8000:03:21,259 --> 00:03:23,693Gotta go through me first."

8100:03:32,653 --> 00:03:33,908Andy, could I have a word, please?

8200:03:33,932 --> 00:03:34,978Um, it won't take a moment.

8300:03:34,991 --> 00:03:36,442It's extremely important,

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8400:03:36,473 --> 00:03:38,507and it really has to happen now.

8500:03:39,047 --> 00:03:41,159

Fine, I will giveyou one minute--

8600:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,865Oh, please, don't use the hourglass.

8700:03:42,905 --> 00:03:45,072You have one minute, andyour minute has begun,

8800:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,275and no time will be added at the end,

8900:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,161even to accommodate this sentence

9000:03:49,201 --> 00:03:52,069with all of itsbaroque-dependent clauses

9100:03:52,091 --> 00:03:55,760and cascading turns of phrase.

9200:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,860I'm trying to adopt a baby.

9300:03:57,949 --> 00:04:00,926A baby what? A human?

9400:04:01,357 --> 00:04:04,225And the agency requirecharacter reference

9500:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,309from my employer.

9600:04:05,342 --> 00:04:06,342Oh.

9700:04:06,458 --> 00:04:07,667You won't have to do anything.

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9800:04:07,679 --> 00:04:08,933I would write the letter myself.

9900:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,674

You'd just needto sign it, so--

10000:04:11,040 --> 00:04:16,490Okay, and fall right into yourplagiarism-entrapment scheme?

10100:04:16,587 --> 00:04:18,191- I don't thinkso. - It's not--

10200:04:18,216 --> 00:04:21,538And I happen to notice you'redown to about 30 seconds here.

10300:04:21,556 --> 00:04:23,157Well, then, if I couldjust convince you that you--

10400:04:23,188 --> 00:04:25,450

And those sand grains aretumbling with fury down--

10500:04:25,469 --> 00:04:28,057It's not entrapmentif I'm writing--

10600:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,459Time's up!

10700:04:29,679 --> 00:04:31,033Fine.

10800:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,376Sure, I'll read her letter,

10900:04:33,401 --> 00:04:35,032and if she tells the truth

110

00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:37,634about how evil and unfitto be a mother she is,

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11100:04:37,664 --> 00:04:39,721then, yeah, I'll sign that.

11200:04:39,819 --> 00:04:43,187

"Statistical correlationsexist between EMF radiation

11300:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,641and various health hazards,

11400:04:45,643 --> 00:04:48,945but mainstream studiesare inconclusive."

11500:04:48,947 --> 00:04:51,581That means you can't make me do squat.

11600:04:51,683 --> 00:04:52,682You better fix this.

11700:04:52,753 --> 00:04:53,908I already ditched my uterus,

118

00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,671and I ain't losing any more good parts.

11900:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,387You people don't realizewhat you're asking.

12000:04:57,389 --> 00:04:59,188I'd have to rip open the walls.

12100:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,978I'd have to shut thisplace down for a week.

12200:05:02,993 --> 00:05:05,126Week off. That'd be great.

12300:05:16,292 --> 00:05:18,022Hey, if you don't wantto teach me PowerPoint,

12400:05:18,046 --> 00:05:18,802

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just say so.

12500:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,190I don't want to teach you PowerPoint.

126

00:05:20,211 --> 00:05:22,478Come on. Just show me PowerPoint.

12700:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,843- Just do the tutorial.- You're the tutorial.

12800:05:24,905 --> 00:05:27,195No, dude, I'm not. I'm not the tutorial.

12900:05:27,252 --> 00:05:28,359- You couldbe. - Mm-mm.

13000:05:31,455 --> 00:05:32,889What are you doing?

13100:05:32,891 --> 00:05:34,557Getting my wife a week off from work.

13200:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,506You popped one kernel.

13300:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,744Awesome, right?

13400:05:40,865 --> 00:05:42,865So Creed is that dude's stepdad?

13500:05:43,435 --> 00:05:44,838Correct.

13600:05:45,737 --> 00:05:48,181Well, I don't knowabout the rest of you,

13700:05:48,206 --> 00:05:50,637but I'm just going tosay it; I'm nervous.

13800:05:50,742 --> 00:05:52,742

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I have no idea what health problems

13900:05:52,744 --> 00:05:53,907this is all going to cause.

140

00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,434- He's right.- What? Come on.

14100:05:55,446 --> 00:05:56,745I'm getting older. I'm losing my hair.

14200:05:56,748 --> 00:05:58,502- I'm sorry.- I'm gonna grow a third arm.

14300:05:58,564 --> 00:06:00,040I know what Jim is trying to do.

14400:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,384He's trying to get big, bad Dwight

14500:06:01,386 --> 00:06:03,186to shell out for a huge repair job,

14600:06:03,188 --> 00:06:05,421while Lucky Jimbo gets a paid vacation.

14700:06:05,423 --> 00:06:07,190Well, sorry, Lucky Jimbo,

14800:06:07,192 --> 00:06:09,559I can live very happilyin a magnetic field.

14900:06:09,561 --> 00:06:12,595Most of my childhood heroesgot their powers that way.

15000:06:13,196 --> 00:06:15,820Side effects of EMFinclude headaches--

15100:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,089

Had them all my life.

152

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00:06:17,131 --> 00:06:18,647Breastpain--

15300:06:18,736 --> 00:06:21,237No nobbies, no probbies. Nice try, Jim.

15400:06:21,295 --> 00:06:22,861Oof. Infertility.

15500:06:23,312 --> 00:06:27,381Yeah, right.

15600:06:34,218 --> 00:06:37,653Ah, there's my popcorn. Can

you just grab that for me?

15700:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,182Keep your snacks onyour side, Jim, idiot.

15800:06:41,259 --> 00:06:44,566- Whatthe--? - What?

159

00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,496Some of these kernels have crowned.

16000:06:46,529 --> 00:06:50,004That's impossible 'causethat's a brand-new bag.

16100:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,245Oh, my God.

16200:06:56,286 --> 00:06:58,220Andy!

16300:07:01,326 --> 00:07:02,914I'm going to drive you up to the lake,

16400:07:03,014 --> 00:07:04,347give you a whole week on the water,

165

00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:06,268just you, me, and the kids.

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16600:07:06,363 --> 00:07:08,296Oh, can we stop by thatpie stand on the way?

16700:07:08,411 --> 00:07:10,912

You mean, "Laverne's Pies,Tires Fixed Also"? Yes.

16800:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,897We will be doing that, andwe'll be getting a dozen.

16900:07:12,924 --> 00:07:15,158A dozen different pies?'Cause that means rhubarb.

17000:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,159Why would you say that?

17100:07:16,161 --> 00:07:17,627I meant four apple, four blueberry,

17200:07:17,629 --> 00:07:19,751two cherry, one peach, one chocolate.

17300:07:19,782 --> 00:07:20,699I thought that was implied.

17400:07:20,724 --> 00:07:22,087Yeah, okay, then.

17500:07:22,113 --> 00:07:24,513Ladies and gentlemen, Ihave heard your complaints,

17600:07:24,519 --> 00:07:26,795and we reached a settlement.

17700:07:27,146 --> 00:07:27,982So...

17800:07:28,046 --> 00:07:30,747We will be leaving theoffice for one whole week.

17900:07:30,794 --> 00:07:32,327

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Nice job.

18000:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,567In my contract, it is stipulated

181

00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:36,619that I provide a temporary work space.

18200:07:36,682 --> 00:07:38,282It will arrive in one hour.

18300:07:38,397 --> 00:07:39,478What?

184

00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:40,950- What's this?- Oh!

18500:07:40,952 --> 00:07:42,818- What?- Bring it in.

18600:07:42,820 --> 00:07:45,521Roll into the future with work bus.

18700:07:45,523 --> 00:07:48,157Say good-bye to wasteful buildings.

18800:07:48,159 --> 00:07:49,590These days, a mobile office

18900:07:49,608 --> 00:07:51,471isn't just for hotshot politicians.

19000:07:51,496 --> 00:07:53,425Now anyone can rent a work bus.

19100:07:53,456 --> 00:07:54,922If you've got a parking lot,

19200:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,509a work space is just a phone call away.

193

00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:58,583In this age

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19400:07:58,636 --> 00:08:01,030of belt-tightening andless-empowered workers,

19500:08:01,074 --> 00:08:02,073

a work bus

19600:08:02,095 --> 00:08:05,645is how tomorrow gets things done.

19700:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,825- Shh!- Shh!

198

00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:12,179Shh! $23.99 a page, yes.

19900:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,063- Six. Yes.- Yeah.

20000:08:14,065 --> 00:08:15,098Oh, sorry about that.

201

00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,132Oh, my God!

20200:08:16,134 --> 00:08:17,967Oops. Sorry.

20300:08:17,969 --> 00:08:19,257Lose weight.

20400:08:19,293 --> 00:08:21,460I'm trying. Sorry.

20500:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,169Ah.

20600:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,938The PennsylvaniaDepartment of Public Welfare

207

00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:28,307pre-adoption standard?

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20800:08:28,325 --> 00:08:30,926Oh, of course, you were adopted.

20900:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,198I wish.

21000:08:33,244 --> 00:08:36,728No, I made some short lists,I had a couple of sleepovers,

21100:08:36,755 --> 00:08:39,718but I never managedto get in the end-zone.

212

00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:42,014I don't know what it was.

21300:08:42,072 --> 00:08:43,810Not lovable, maybe?

21400:08:43,929 --> 00:08:45,128Oh, well.

21500:08:45,130 --> 00:08:46,972

Listen, I'm reallystruggling with this form.

21600:08:47,003 --> 00:08:49,503But as you know the system,do you think maybe you could--

21700:08:49,776 --> 00:08:52,043Absolutely, I know exactlywhat they want to hear.

21800:08:52,070 --> 00:08:53,269I would-- I wouldlove to help.

21900:08:53,271 --> 00:08:56,005Oh, thank you so much.

22000:08:56,037 --> 00:08:58,145Just don't

tell Andy because--

221

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00:08:58,176 --> 00:08:59,175- He hatesme. - And--

22200:08:59,202 --> 00:09:00,483- Thinks I'm a

monster. - That--

22300:09:00,512 --> 00:09:03,079- Should go back to Loch Ness.

22400:09:03,106 --> 00:09:06,361Stretch. All right.

22500:09:06,418 --> 00:09:09,152

How many times do youneed to take a stroll?

22600:09:09,154 --> 00:09:12,622I-- my legs cramp up, okay?It's a circulation issue.

22700:09:12,642 --> 00:09:14,141Boy, I will hammer-spank your rear.

228

00:09:14,155 --> 00:09:15,662All right, all right, gang.

22900:09:15,694 --> 00:09:17,527Let's just settle down.You're yelling in her face.

23000:09:17,529 --> 00:09:18,995It's a medical thing.

23100:09:18,997 --> 00:09:20,296Just--You good?

23200:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,032I'm good.I--

23300:09:23,034 --> 00:09:25,201I'm so sorry for all of this.

23400:09:25,641 --> 00:09:27,141

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It's okay.

23500:09:27,186 --> 00:09:30,354You know what they say, achange is as good as a rest.

23600:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,600I-- I need to getto the paper, please.

23700:09:32,677 --> 00:09:33,676Sorry.

23800:09:33,678 --> 00:09:34,523Oh, God!

23900:09:34,581 --> 00:09:35,880- Oh, oh, myGod! - Okay--

24000:09:35,957 --> 00:09:37,456- Oh!- I'll get you a napkin.

24100:09:37,546 --> 00:09:39,013

Can someone get napkins, please?

24200:09:39,084 --> 00:09:41,250You know what, it's fine.It's fine, let me just--

24300:09:41,252 --> 00:09:42,251It's fine.

24400:09:42,271 --> 00:09:45,039Pam, I'm reallysorry. I just--

24500:09:45,202 --> 00:09:47,202I'm-- I'm reallysorry about all that.

24600:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,097Really? Smirking?

24700:09:53,431 --> 00:09:55,333What can I say? I love justice.

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24800:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,416You forced me to spendmoney on needless repairs,

249

00:09:57,441 --> 00:09:59,710and now you're locked in a prison bus,

25000:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,766and your woman drips with beverage.

25100:10:01,906 --> 00:10:03,823Hey, Dwight, I was tryingto do something nice for Pam.

25200:10:03,848 --> 00:10:05,782Can you just help me out?

25300:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,876Can we maybe take this thing somewhere,

25400:10:07,901 --> 00:10:10,264or do something to not makethis the worst day ever?

25500:10:10,388 --> 00:10:13,151It's not my responsibility tosolve your marriage problems

25600:10:13,170 --> 00:10:16,538by spending my money on gas.

25700:10:17,942 --> 00:10:20,010Andy!

25800:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,412Yo! Toonces.

25900:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,211You're the boss.

26000:10:22,236 --> 00:10:23,805Don't you think we'd allbe a lot more productive

26100:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,831

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if while we were doing work,

26200:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,188we looked up and saw

263

00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:28,173the best rural piestand in Pennsylvania?

26400:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,546Ooh, I know I'd be more productive.

26500:10:30,562 --> 00:10:32,543- As would I.- No question.

26600:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,753No! No! This is a work bus.

26700:10:34,910 --> 00:10:37,210The wheels are fortransporting the work space

26800:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,787to and from the work site.

26900:10:38,829 --> 00:10:40,095What are you talking about?

27000:10:40,121 --> 00:10:42,722You're not the boss, Andy is. Andy?

27100:10:42,831 --> 00:10:47,198Pies, pies, pies, pies, pies, pies.

27200:10:47,284 --> 00:10:51,257All right! The fat people have spoken.

27300:10:51,411 --> 00:10:53,645Dwight, get this bus moving.

27400:10:56,625 --> 00:11:00,048Next stop, Laverne'sPies, Tires Fixed Also.

27500:11:00,165 --> 00:11:02,398

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Oh, yes!

27600:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,863Yeah, Jim!

277

00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:07,525So it looks like this work bus

27800:11:07,556 --> 00:11:09,919was a pretty good idea after all, huh?

27900:11:10,087 --> 00:11:12,020Get your foot behind the yellow line.

280

00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,029You got it.

28100:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,829Yeah, Jim!

28200:11:26,552 --> 00:11:27,786- Stop.- Come back.

283

00:11:27,826 --> 00:11:29,289- Too late.- Mm.

28400:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,991 Shabooya rollcall, shabooya-ya-ya

28500:11:33,024 --> 00:11:34,275 Shabooya roll call

28600:11:34,306 --> 00:11:35,740 Yeah

28700:11:35,764 --> 00:11:37,014 I like to paint

28800:11:37,015 --> 00:11:38,650- Yeah - You think you're better?

28900:11:38,681 --> 00:11:40,114

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- Yeah - Oh, no, you ain't

29000:11:40,138 --> 00:11:41,237 Roll call

29100:11:41,270 --> 00:11:42,914 Shabooya-ya-ya

29200:11:42,948 --> 00:11:46,316 Shabooya rollcall, shabooya-ya-ya

29300:11:46,388 --> 00:11:47,754 Shabooya roll call

29400:11:47,818 --> 00:11:49,284- My name is Kevin - Yeah

29500:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,364- That is my name - Yeah

29600:11:51,403 --> 00:11:53,103

- They call me Kevin - Yeah

29700:11:53,118 --> 00:11:55,318 Roll call

29800:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,754 Shabooya-ya-yashabooya roll call

29900:11:58,756 --> 00:12:02,058 Shabooya-ya-yashabooya roll call

30000:12:10,915 --> 00:12:11,949Thanks.

30100:12:11,970 --> 00:12:15,205Playing a little hooky from work today.

30200:12:17,062 --> 00:12:19,313Oh, my God.

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30300:12:19,921 --> 00:12:23,178Dunder Mifflin road trip 2012!

30400:12:23,380 --> 00:12:26,915

Okay, now a serious one.

30500:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,916Hey, where's Dwight? Heshould be a part of this.

30600:12:31,244 --> 00:12:33,245Has he been acting kindof weird to you lately?

30700:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,791If by "lately," you meanfor the last 12 years, yeah.

30800:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,789No, I mean, he's sulking.That's not like him.

30900:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,493He's just mad that we're all having fun.

31000:12:39,808 --> 00:12:42,742Then why isn't he schemingor preparing to avenge?

31100:12:44,112 --> 00:12:47,047He's fine. He's indestructible.

31200:12:48,405 --> 00:12:51,185Always say that a childis placed for adoption,

31300:12:51,210 --> 00:12:53,477never surrendered.

31400:12:53,584 --> 00:12:55,217We're not hostages.

31500:12:55,313 --> 00:12:58,347

Although I haveconsidered kidnapping one.

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31600:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,543Oh, and never say that.

31700:13:02,374 --> 00:13:05,157I am so excited

thinking about this child

31800:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,196you're going to adopt.

31900:13:06,222 --> 00:13:07,986I wish I could just wave a magic wand

32000:13:08,011 --> 00:13:10,478

and make you a parentlessfive-year-old again.

32100:13:10,551 --> 00:13:12,551I would snap you up.

32200:13:12,578 --> 00:13:14,457Oh.

32300:13:15,233 --> 00:13:17,005

Next stop, pies.

32400:13:17,035 --> 00:13:18,501Next stop, pies!

32500:13:18,703 --> 00:13:21,953Next stop,pies, next stop, pies!

32600:13:21,971 --> 00:13:23,837Let's go, driver!

32700:13:23,864 --> 00:13:26,995Laverne packs up thepie wagon at 5:00, so--

32800:13:27,165 --> 00:13:29,733At 5:00? That's only20 minutes from now.

32900:13:30,048 --> 00:13:33,216The pie shop is 13 miles away.

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33000:13:33,468 --> 00:13:35,282So at 55 miles an hour,

33100:13:35,309 --> 00:13:37,810

that just gives us 5 minutes to spare.

33200:13:37,837 --> 00:13:39,870So, wait, when pies are involved,

33300:13:39,890 --> 00:13:42,412you can suddenly do math in your head?

33400:13:42,662 --> 00:13:46,801

Hold on, Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies

33500:13:47,011 --> 00:13:49,545divided by 61 pies?

33600:13:49,709 --> 00:13:52,940314 pies.

33700:13:53,361 --> 00:13:55,394What if it were salads?

33800:13:55,427 --> 00:13:57,846Well,it's the--

33900:13:58,876 --> 00:14:03,195carry the four andthe-- it doesn't work.

34000:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,035I'm sorry to spoil Jim'sfantastic voyage, everyone,

34100:14:06,059 --> 00:14:07,425but we're almost out of gas.

34200:14:07,456 --> 00:14:09,456Okay, well, I saw astation about a mile back,

34300:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,746so chop, chop.

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34400:14:10,764 --> 00:14:13,198That name brand place?No, forget about it, sorry.

345

00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,454The tanks are so big on thisthing, 5 a gallon extra?

34600:14:16,544 --> 00:14:17,543It really adds up.

34700:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,609Are you kidding me?

34800:14:18,646 --> 00:14:20,313- Dwight, come on.- Hey.

34900:14:20,388 --> 00:14:21,755Honey, I don't think we should push him.

35000:14:21,779 --> 00:14:22,979Oh, no, I'm going to push him.

35100:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,776You know why? Becauseyou are getting a pie.

35200:14:24,811 --> 00:14:26,377Why? 'Cause you deserve it.

35300:14:26,448 --> 00:14:27,575And what is he doing?

35400:14:27,613 --> 00:14:29,300He's trying to drive usall around the countryside,

35500:14:29,331 --> 00:14:31,532looking for gas because heknows we won't get there.

35600:14:31,562 --> 00:14:32,577

Is that what we want?

357

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00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:33,696No!

35800:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,503Stop ordering me around, Jim!

35900:14:35,611 --> 00:14:37,511Pies!

36000:14:37,532 --> 00:14:38,531When do we want it?

36100:14:38,577 --> 00:14:41,811- Pies.- Okay, fine.

36200:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,846You win, Jim. You win.

36300:14:45,871 --> 00:14:47,116We have been battling for a long time,

36400:14:47,141 --> 00:14:48,507but, you know what, you win.

36500:14:48,538 --> 00:14:50,277'Cause you are the winner,you are the alpha male.

36600:14:50,295 --> 00:14:51,215There you go.

36700:14:51,239 --> 00:14:52,837Alpha male, go buy your wife a pie.

36800:14:52,868 --> 00:14:54,368Go buy the whole world a pie.

36900:14:54,417 --> 00:14:56,498That's impossible.

37000:14:57,278 --> 00:14:58,578- Oh, no!- Dwight!

37100:14:59,037 --> 00:15:00,102

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- What are you doing?- Dwight!

37200:15:00,104 --> 00:15:01,470- What the hell?- Whoa, Dwight.

37300:15:01,472 --> 00:15:04,573- Dwight.- What?

37400:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,663Well, now I don't even feel like pie.

37500:15:08,125 --> 00:15:09,992

Wait.

37600:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,592No, it's back.

37700:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,633Just drive away.

37800:15:15,937 --> 00:15:17,534Phyllis, that's not safe.

37900:15:17,559 --> 00:15:19,859Guys, we only have 18 minutes left.

38000:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,043At 61 miles an hour, we'rejust going to barely make it.

38100:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,883Go up and check on him, he's upset.

38200:15:24,964 --> 00:15:26,530You know he's doing all this on purpose.

38300:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,342Please, just make sure he's okay.

38400:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,569Hurry it up, for God's sake.

38500:15:31,589 --> 00:15:33,222

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They're going to be out of banana cream.

38600:15:33,249 --> 00:15:34,405Banana cream's the first to go.

387

00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:35,791We'd be lucky to getpumpkin at this point.

38800:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,019What?

38900:15:39,044 --> 00:15:40,477Dwight?

39000:15:40,772 --> 00:15:42,267Why are you such a jerk?

39100:15:42,308 --> 00:15:45,076I'm trying to do somethingfor my wife, and you keep--

39200:15:45,126 --> 00:15:46,895- I'm barren, Jim.

39300:15:47,881 --> 00:15:48,644What?

39400:15:48,685 --> 00:15:50,706My trouser hives are void of honey.

39500:15:50,734 --> 00:15:53,878I had congress with Angela,and the child that she bore

39600:15:53,976 --> 00:15:55,943did not issue from my loins.

39700:15:56,039 --> 00:15:59,214Thought I would be a father,and instead I am a eunuch,

39800:15:59,929 --> 00:16:02,522neutered by my own building.

39900:16:03,079 --> 00:16:06,114

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Is this about the popcorn,or the X on the ceiling?

40000:16:06,403 --> 00:16:08,585Dwight, that was a prank.

40100:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,818You mean you flooded my building

40200:16:10,820 --> 00:16:13,454with dangerous electromagneticradiation as a prank?

40300:16:13,481 --> 00:16:14,900- No.

- That's genius.

40400:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,290That's the best prank you've ever done.

40500:16:16,316 --> 00:16:17,916I'll take it.

40600:16:21,469 --> 00:16:22,119Andy?

40700:16:22,165 --> 00:16:23,778Who is it?

40800:16:24,097 --> 00:16:26,197- Um, is this a good time?- Yeah.

40900:16:26,256 --> 00:16:29,591Perfect time, right in themiddle of a rooftop crisis.

41000:16:29,706 --> 00:16:32,206Fine, yeah, let me readit. What do we have here?

41100:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,457You've made thisvery easy for me.

41200:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,981It's unsignable.

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41300:16:39,983 --> 00:16:42,712Oh. What, isthere something--?

414

00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:46,932It's inaccurate, dishonest,and, in a word, dong-water.

41500:16:47,735 --> 00:16:49,779Oh, well, perhaps Icould reword some of it--

41600:16:49,791 --> 00:16:50,479Here's the thing.

41700:16:50,527 --> 00:16:52,059You asked me to do you a favor,

41800:16:52,061 --> 00:16:53,883I did it, I read it.

41900:16:53,905 --> 00:16:56,943Thank you very much to me for my time.

42000:16:57,534 --> 00:16:59,471Good luck with your impossible dream.

42100:17:02,017 --> 00:17:03,451All right, then.

42200:17:13,022 --> 00:17:14,322Dwight, sometimes it takes couples

42300:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,643years to get pregnant.

42400:17:15,676 --> 00:17:18,445Really? How long did ittake you and Pam to conceive?

42500:17:18,488 --> 00:17:19,487That doesn't matter.

42600:17:19,507 --> 00:17:21,009What position did you use to conceive,

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42700:17:21,024 --> 00:17:22,524regular orlady-on-her-back?

428

00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,625You used lady-on-her-back,didn't you, freak?

42900:17:24,664 --> 00:17:26,464Yuck, gross. Never mind, Jim.

43000:17:37,126 --> 00:17:39,693British women, famously over-emotional,

43100:17:39,707 --> 00:17:42,107am I right?

43200:17:42,178 --> 00:17:43,978I don't think that's Nellie.

43300:17:44,017 --> 00:17:46,502- What?- Oh.

43400:17:46,603 --> 00:17:49,070Oh, no, no, no. It's all right.

43500:17:49,085 --> 00:17:51,610Really, it isn't your fault.

43600:17:51,654 --> 00:17:55,537No, no. It's--You were so kind,

43700:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,762and it isn't anything to do with you.

43800:17:58,836 --> 00:18:01,504Did you ever think thatbecause you own the building,

43900:18:01,575 --> 00:18:03,494everyone in it,

44000:18:03,578 --> 00:18:05,011

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we're all kind of like your children.

44100:18:05,326 --> 00:18:07,982You know, there's a phraseabout that in German,

44200:18:08,146 --> 00:18:09,345bilden-kinder,

44300:18:09,372 --> 00:18:11,973used almost exclusivelyby childless landlords

44400:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,502to console themselves, but now,

44500:18:14,639 --> 00:18:17,106I really understand it.

44600:18:17,146 --> 00:18:21,649Well, now you have a busfull of real building-kinder.

44700:18:21,663 --> 00:18:23,081- Bilden-kinder.

- Okay.

44800:18:23,219 --> 00:18:27,138And they're all dangerouslyclose to not getting pie.

44900:18:27,700 --> 00:18:30,134And there's only oneguy who can save them.

45000:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,666It's not me.

45100:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,144- I agree.- Oh!

45200:18:33,185 --> 00:18:34,822Oh.

45300:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,324Hey, how did it go?

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45400:18:36,384 --> 00:18:37,618- It was pretty good, actually.- Yeah?

455

00:18:37,654 --> 00:18:39,220We bonded,we got to t--

45600:18:39,235 --> 00:18:40,234- Oh!- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

45700:18:40,236 --> 00:18:41,802- Dwight, Dwight!

- Dwight!

45800:18:41,804 --> 00:18:43,838That's what happens whenyou don't get out of the way.

45900:18:43,877 --> 00:18:46,178Out of the way!

46000:18:47,028 --> 00:18:48,066

You feel okay now?

46100:18:48,091 --> 00:18:49,190Oh, better than okay.

46200:18:49,239 --> 00:18:50,489And you know what, honey?

46300:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,580I'm going to get you that rhubarb pie.

46400:18:52,615 --> 00:18:53,983Well, actually, rhubarb

46500:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,278- is the one pie that Idon't-- - Don't, don't.

46600:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,668

Everybody, hang on!

467

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00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:11,165Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie!

46800:19:23,656 --> 00:19:25,056Oh.

46900:19:25,114 --> 00:19:26,747I changed my mind.

47000:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,024- Oh, you signed it?- Yeah.

47100:19:29,153 --> 00:19:31,635Not as is, obviously.

47200:19:32,109 --> 00:19:33,242Made a couple of changes,

47300:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,950added some sentences at the end.

47400:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,761Trust me, it needed it.

47500:19:39,195 --> 00:19:43,064But, yeah, whatever.

47600:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,104"She's tough in business, but tender

47700:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,605with the people she cares about.

47800:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,075She'll make a wonderfulmother to any child

47900:19:54,139 --> 00:19:56,539who can overlook weird accents."

48000:20:00,817 --> 00:20:04,463- I insult you, Oscar.- What?

48100:20:04,646 --> 00:20:07,814

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I insult you to your face.

48200:20:08,091 --> 00:20:10,124I don't know what you're talking about.

483

00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,969Then why don't youdo something about it?

48400:20:13,197 --> 00:20:15,167Kevin, are you tryingto get me to hit you

48500:20:15,212 --> 00:20:16,311in the face with my pie?

48600:20:16,638 --> 00:20:18,776You don't have the guts.

48700:20:18,811 --> 00:20:23,847You stupid, dumb, doo-doo face.

48800:20:30,379 --> 00:20:32,498Yes!

48900:20:32,782 --> 00:20:36,017Oh, my God. I'm getting so stuffed.

49000:20:40,178 --> 00:20:42,079We did it.

49100:20:42,125 --> 00:20:44,291You did it.

49200:20:51,530 --> 00:20:53,578 Yeah

49300:20:53,603 --> 00:20:55,570 Yeah

49400:20:55,603 --> 00:20:57,870 Yeah

495

00:20:57,872 --> 00:21:00,072 Yeah

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49600:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,920Roll call.

49700:21:14,922 --> 00:21:15,955Roll call.

49800:21:15,957 --> 00:21:17,523Roll call.

49900:21:17,525 --> 00:21:18,591Roll call.

50000:21:18,687 --> 00:21:20,493What?