NEWS ON THE HILL APRIL 13, 2020 ISSUE #4

BELLINGHAM, WASHINGTON PNW KIDS 48° 45’ 34” N 122° 29’ 18” W

Quarantine Week 4 WOULD YOU RATHER QUARANTINE . . .

Submitted by News on the Hill Contributors

THE LONG LOST STAR WARS CHARACTER Submitted by Paige Flory

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“But where shall I find courage?” asked Frodo. “That is what I chiefly need.” “Courage is found in unlikely places,” said Gildor.

— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings Part 1)

Did you know that there is a STAR WARS character that they forgot to include in the STAR WARS saga? Yes, her name is Blaire. She is a Jedi trained by Rey Palpatine/Skywalker. Her parents were part of the Resistance. They were killed in the Battle of Crait. After she became a Jedi Master, Blaire went to Tatoonie. She found two explorers there who wanted to go to Ice Planet Hoth to explore the old Rebel Base. After she took them there in her X-Wing that was previously Rey’s, and before that, Luke’s, she returned to Tatoonie because the First Order was looking for her. She was disguised as a casino gambler. When a mother and a daughter came in seeking work, Stormtroopers invaded, looking for Blaire. The mother was killed but the daughter used the Force to survive! Blaire instantly recognized the talent she had and brought it upon herself to train this young girl as a Padawan.

Her parents’ death left her tough and strict, but when you get to know her she’s smart and brave. Blaire has olive skin with very dark brown curly hair. She wears it in a French braid to one side of her head. She is equipped with a Blaster and a green Lightsaber. She’s light on her feet and has a very good aim. Her ‘action outfit’ is green cargo pants, a utility belt with a bag attached, a black tank-top, a jean jacket with the sleeves ripped off, and cloth arm bands.

By the way: all of this was made up by Paige Flory. Also sorry if some of this doesn’t match what happened in The Rise of Skywalker. (Hey, I’ve only seen it once!) None of this is true. Except maybe in a galaxy far, far away . . .

AINE Or get bitten by a shark?

ELSA Or be trapped on an island by yourself? PAIGE Or have your dad gone for a month on a

business trip? AUDRIA Or live on a 16 foot boat? STELLA Or stay at home for the rest of your life? JASPER Or pull freckles off your face? WYATT Or eat a cigarette?

EDIE C. Or eat salad for dinner for the rest of

your life? JEWEL Or have a really bad sunburn for weeks? VIOLET Or do a million karate kicks without

taking a break? FELIX Or dance for 72 hours straight without

sleeping? TESSA Or sleep in a tent for a month? ARLO Or my bedroom? AYLA Or garden? RUBY Or be at the beach eating pie? JESSE Or be in Florida at restaurants?

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MONKEYING AROUND PART 2 Submitted by Oliver Allen

1. Pygmy Marmoset

In the spotlight today, is the Pygmy Marmoset! They can live up to 12 years in the wild and 18 years in a zoo. They are 4.6 - 6.2 inches long and their tail can grow 6.8 – 9 inches long! They can weigh from 3-5 ounces. They also weigh only .4-.5 ounces at birth. The Pygmy Marmoset is the smallest monkey, but not the smallest primate. The smallest primate is the Mouse Lemur.

2. Emperor Tamarin

The Emperor Tamarin can live up to 10-20 years they are 9-10 inches tall and can weigh up to a pound. They only weigh around 1.6 oz. at birth. They can be found in extreme southeastern Peru, northwestern Brazil, and northwestern Bolivia. They eat fruit, flowers, nectar, gum, and small animals. They can live in groups of 2-15!

3. De Brazza’s Monkey They are 16 to 25 inches long. Males can weigh up to 11.5 lbs and females can weigh up to 9.25 lbs. Their lifespan in unknown! They forage in the early morning and evening. They hand gather fruit, buds, young leaves, and can catch lizards! Their main predators are humans, African eagles, leopards, and other predators. They freeze as a defense mechanism.

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APRIL 13, 2020

HUMOR ON THE HILL Submitted by Arlo VanJaarsveld

5. Why do cows have hooves?

They lactose

6. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn’t peeling well

7. What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?

Hootdini

8. What job did the frog have at the hotel?

Bellhop

9. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

T-rex

One day, _______________________________________ decided to go to

(Famous Explorer)

_________________ beach. The ________________ water was____________.

(silly word) (adjective) (color)

__________________ were everywhere. After ___________ hours,

(magical creature, plural) (number)

____________________________________ decided to _________________ to

(earlier mentioned explorer) (verb)

____________________. It turned out __________________ beach was no

(place) (earlier mentioned silly word)

place for a(n) ________________ explorer. Now, ask ________________ if

(adjective) (person in the room)

he/she has ever been to __________________ beach. Did he/she see

(earlier mentioned silly word)

any _____________________?

(mammal, plural)

A DAY AT THE BEACH MAD LIBS Submitted by Ruby Simon

1. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Gummy bear

2. What do you call a pig that does karate?

Pork chop

3. What do you call an alligator in a vest?

Investigator

4. How do you organize a space party?

You planet

This weekend was Easter. The sun was shining but there was a cool breeze in the air. Pippa thought about bunnies and how they go BOING, BOING when she chases them. She wanted to know what that felt like and what it would be like to be the Easter Bunny. Pippa put on some huge purple bunny ears so that she looked like a real Easter Bunny. She got up on her hind legs and started bouncing around and making eggs. She decorated the eggs with lots and lots and lots of bunny ears. She thought that it would look like the Easter Bunny left her signature on the eggs with her ears. Pippa filled the eggs with dog food and egg yolks. She hid dog food eggs outside in the yard – under the tree, under the gravel and deep in a hole she dug herself. She left some jellybean shaped dog treats in a basket on the dining room table. She gave her owners bubbles to use for the next time they would give her a bath. Gracie went on the hunt and she loved it! Gracie ran around all over the yard collecting eggs and putting them in her bed. She was so excited she dug a hole where there wasn’t even an egg. Pippa’s owners did NOT like it! They were furious with the Easter bunny (AKA Pippa). But remember, they did not know the Easter Bunny was Pippa YET. They went on with their day. But then, Pippa’s owners found an Easter egg filled with dog food and covered in Pippa’s paw prints in Pippa’s crate. The owners were furious with the dog! So then her owners grounded Pippa for a week and made her clean up everything. Pippa had to sleep outside, connected to the fire hydrant and she didn’t get a cushion to sleep on or anything. But then the Easter Bunny came to talk to Pippa and told her how it was her job to put out the eggs. Pippa understood. She promised not to do it ever again.

To find out more about life with Pippa, tune into next week’s paper!

CATCHING UP WITH PIPPA Submitted by Aine Watson

Once, around three weeks ago, my family went to Orcas Island. My mom, my dad, and I were getting ready to go to Anacortes to catch the ferryboat to go to our cabin on Orcas Island. We got everything in the car, and we were just getting our cat Mort in his carrier (Mort had never been to Orcas before, so this was very special). It was a sunny day and not very much traffic for 6:00PM!

We squeezed into the car, which was very crowded with all our stuff. With me in the back seat next to Mort, who was facing me on the left side, mom shotgun, dad as driver. We drove all the way to Anacortes, passed the ticket line and got in the Orcas lane. The minute we parked, we opened Mort’s carrier. The whole time, he was taking a nap and being absolutely silent, but we opened his cage and he still didn’t want to come out. We ignored him and ate our egg salad sandwiches and bagels. About an hour and a half later

we got to board the ferry at 7:00PM! Mort still being pouty, did not want to come out, and we didn’t want to leave him alone in the car and, there is a virus going around that we did not want to catch. So, we stayed in the car the whole ferry ride and after half an hour, it got dark. Another half hour passed, and we stopped at Orcas!

Our cabin is basically the farthest from the ferry dock, which is annoying because we need to drive one hour’s length of time to get there. I thought that we would never get out of the line of cars getting off the boat.

Soon after we started to move, I decided I was going to take a nap. After all, it was around 8:00 o’clock and we’d done a lot of driving. I was just starting to doze off when . . . my mom jumps and screams . . . “CAT!” Me and my dad both looked around in the dark car to see nothing and my mom said, “Right next to you!” And there we saw him, the black night creeper! (AKA my black cat Mort)

Tails of Mort will be continued in the next issue . . . stay tuned!

DOG VS. CAT

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MY CAT MORTIMUS WESELTON JONES CULVER III MORT’S FIRST TIME ON ORCAS ISLAND Submitted by Edie Culver

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THE MISCALCULATIONS OF LIGHTNING GIRL BOOK REVIEW Submitted by Jewel Bryngelson

Do you need a good book to read during our COVID-19 break? Here is one I recommend, The Miscalculations of Lightning Girl, written by Stacy McAnulty. It is a realistic fiction book about Lucille Callahan who got struck by lightning when she was 8 and it rewired her brain to be a math genius, but also gave her OCD.

Ever since then, Lucy has been homeschooled. Now, Lucy is 12 and she's technically ready for college but Lucy's grandma wants her to take one more test, middle school.

Lucy's grandma gave her a challenge go to middle school for one year, make one friend, join one activity, and read one book that's not a math textbook. As the author says “if you can survive a bolt of lightning you can survive middle school . . . right?” You should read this enjoyable book and learn if Lucy can survive middle school.

1. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor 2. “Macarena” by Los Del Rio 3. “Jalale” (from Coco) by Mexican Institute of Sound 4. “Friend Like Me” (from Aladdin) by Will Smith 5. “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker Jr. 6. “Auditions” from Sing by Sing cast 7. “Dancing Queen” by Abba Any great dance party recommendations for next week’s list? Send them my way! Coho44@gmail.com

JESSE’S TOP 7 DANCE PARTY SONGS Submitted by Jesse Simon

STAR WARS ORIGAMI Submitted by Violet Stockburger

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DEAR EDIE Submitted by Edie Lodis

CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE? Submitted by Audria Rosinski

Can you spot the difference between the two photos? Is there anything different between the two photos? You should be able to spy 11 different things between the photos.

Answer Key: eggs removed, carpet gone, 3 flowers removed from basket, green masher gone from yellow table first floor, brown broom gone, pink doll gone from kids bed, baby in high chair, dad washing hand in bathroom, car, added blue drink to yellow table first floor, yellow floors gone from pots on second story

ISSUE #4, page 7 APRIL 13, 2020 THE GREENHOUSE Submitted by Ayla VanJaarsveld

ISSUE #4, page 8 APRIL 13, 2020 THE ADVENTURES OF DAT MAN: ISSUE 1 A NEW HERO Submitted by Felix Tremblay

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BOUQUET OF ALL SEASONS (USING PEN AND INK) Submitted by Elsa Watson

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ARTWORK CHALLENGE RESULTS Submitted by News on the Hill Contributors

Decorate the sidewalk with a colorful sidewalk chalk masterpiece. Who’s your favorite?

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CHALLENGE

Gray skies are gonna clear up, Put on a happy face; Brush off the clouds and cheer up, Put on a happy face. Spread sunshine all over the place. And put on a happy face! We think the skies already did clear up and that the Easter candy should be helping with the happy faces. So share those smiles and brighten your friends’ and families’ day!

Dress up as your favorite book character using things from around your house. Submit photos before bedtime on Saturday along with your News on the Hill Issue 5 submissions.

BIRTHDAY WISHES Submitted by Oliver Allen

A big shout out to our Horoscope Creator Extraordinaire Henry Allen! Happy Birthday from all your peeps at News on the Hill! Thank for being such a fantastic and essential part of the paper!

WEATHER (lyrics courtesy Tony Bennett)