distinctionsT H E Q U A R T E R L Y N E W S L E T T E R F O R C L I E N T S A N D F R I E N D S O F

Summer 2010

Not trusting causes all the troubleby James Flaherty

In a way we humans are remarkably vulnerable. We must be clothed, eat and drink regularly, and can exist only within narrow bands of internal and external temperature ranges. So much can injure us

physically. Innumerable circumstances can bring us physical pain, death or restriction.

And then there’s all the emotional and psychological pain we can feel. Relationships, careers, deep desires, commitments to contribute, be-longing, meaning, identity, support, recognition: this is just the briefest of introductions to the list of experiences that can leave us suffering terribly.

So early on, many of us take up the never-ending project to protect ourselves. From our own experience and from what we hear from others we determine that the world is not safe.

And that is the source of all our troubles.

We keep ourselves at a remove from others even when in the most intimate contact. We make elaborate rules and follow intricate personal rituals to assure our safety. (These procedures alienate us from ourselves because we see ourselves as threats to our own safety.) We worry, worry, worry in the desperate hope that we have thought of everything and planned for everything.

Mostly we defend ourselves.

Doing this individually and collectively is the source of violence (genocide, war, rape, etc.), greed, hatred, crime, ecological exploitation, all the negative emotions (which get activated to alert us to injury—real, potential or imagined). All our troubles.

Book of the Quarter 4Master Class 7Course Schedule 11

Grad Blast 8Poems of the Quarter 5Practice of the Quarter 3

INDEX

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N E W V E N T U R E S W E S T

We take fear to be the basic truth teller.

We make fear the totalitarian tyrant that dictates all our actions at bottom. Following fear, we set out to control everything—fear takes away everyone’s humanness, including our own, so there are only things to control: no people left, no nature left. And we feel deeply that we must do all this. We must live in the space that fear allows us to have and tell stories to distract ourselves—tales that we give up immediately when fear gets strong enough.

Is life only coping with fear?

Well, I don’t think so.

Life itself is not afraid. Yes, we feel fear; other species apparently do too. It galvanizes attention, mentally and physically, so it can be helpful. A useful blinking red light of warning. Not more than that.

Life is never stopped by fear. It can take a while but life always recovers, returns, adapts, fills in all possible spaces.

Fear is a super-small subset of life. Even when we are afraid, terrified, we are alive, we are held by life. Fear is the servant of life—never its master.

We can at any moment find this ground, this hold-ing, and radically trust it. The more often we visit the fundamental ground, the easier it will be for us to find it, return to it when we are afraid. Thus all spiritual practice.

Just now you can find it, feel it…What is holding you upright, just now?What is keeping your heart beating just now?What is holding you on earth just now?

The love we receive is also part of life, expresses life, is life.

Love is way more powerful than fear.

We can learn to love our fear and thus heal ourselves. And thus heal the world.

This article is a small beginning. Please study the ground—and fear—on your own.

The poems following, the book and practice of the quarter can support your study.

The next San Francisco Roundtable will also address what we’ve begun here.

Take care of yourself.

© New Ventures West™ 2010

PO BOX 591525 • SAN FRANCISCO • CA • 94159 • 800.332.4618 • WWW.NEWVENTURESWEST.COM

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P R A C T I C E O F T H E Q U A R T E R

© New Ventures West™ 2010

Focus: Finding the Ground

Please do this for 30 days.

First 10 Days

Please stop 3 times each day on a schedule you decide and find the ground supporting you at that exact moment.

• Find your body• Feel gravity• Find your breath• Remember/feel the love in your life• Remember what you’re doing with your life

Second 10 Days

Three to five times each day in the midst of a friendly conversation, find the holding ground by answering the questions above. Then extend the ground to include your conversational partner.

At the end of the day write out your answers to these questions:

• What did I learn today about extending the ground to include others?• What benefit did extending the ground have for:

- the conversation?- my partner?- me?

Final 10 Days

In the midst of conflict, difficulty, fear, find the ground as you did in the first 10 days.At the end of each day write out your answers to these questions:

• What did I learn about how the holding ground supports me?• What benefit did locating the ground have for me?• What’s changing with my relationship to the holding ground?

At the End of 30 Days

Please answer these questions:

• How powerful is the holding ground?• Can I trust the holding ground?• Will I trust the holding ground?• Is there any difference in how I relate to fear?

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B O O K O F T H E Q U A R T E R

© New Ventures West™ 2010

––James Flaherty

Summary

Scale 0-5

Usefulness

Accessibility

Rigor

Potential toChange Reader

Simone Weil: An AnthologyEdited and introduction by Siân MilesGrove Press, 2000Softcover, 304 pages

You have to meet her.

Simone Weil is the most important writer/saint of the 20th century that I never knew about until now. She writes with penetrating clarity. She defines violence as force ‘x’, that when applied to someone, makes them an object. And says that justice consists in doing everything possible to assure that no avoidable harm happens to anyone.

Simone was a polymath. Her books, essays, letters and journals show her deep understanding of mathematics, science, diverse cultures, myths from around the world, all major religious traditions, music, art, economics, technology and more. She definitely occupied her time and place in human history.

Simone, with a frail, sickly physiology and coming from an educated middle-class family, worked for long periods in factories so she could understand empatheti-cally the life of workers. She did the same with difficult farm labor.

And she was a mystic as profound as Theresa of Avila or Catherine of Sienna. She directly met and was rapturously filled with divine life, in the person of Jesus, many times. (Her family were secular Jews.)

A heart and mind unique in the 20th century. Read her works and be informed, inspired, bathed in the best of the human spirit.

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P O E M S O F T H E Q U A R T E R

Green Card, Blue Shoes

Tired of waiting table at the Yacht Club, in June, she writes a romance novel.In July, just before she leaves for Paris, she meets a Frenchman who would like

to marry her and who she would like to marry—each has fallen in love withthe other’s country. They spend a week in Provence together, cherries and

hazelnuts being sold in the markets. He’s like a pair of shoes I once bought,she says. Little blue Italian sculptures that went with nothing in my wardrobe

or any future wardrobe. When Harlequin rejects her book—not enough sex, she is told—she doesn’t despair but begins rewriting it, switching genres,

replacing the love scenes with murders.

Green Flame

a woman turning in her bedlike fire catching on we know what we inherit bonfire high as a water tower

she threw someone in, in his forest-green suit,close by, by accident a child learns

blaze running down each branch, each petiole, leaf a flamy face

we can almost come to

Poems by Stefanie Marlis

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P O E M S O F T H E Q U A R T E R

The Imagined Roomby Barbara Guest

Do not forget the sky has other zones.

Let it rest on the embankment, close the eyes,

Lay it in the little bed made of Maplewood.Wash its sleeve in sky drops.

Let there be no formal potions.A subject and a predicate made of glass.

You have entered the narrow zoneyour portrait etched in glass.

Becoming less and less until the future faces youlike the magpie you hid,exchanging feathers for other feathers.

In the tower you flew without wingsspeaking in other tongues to the imagined room.

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Each year, senior faculty member Sarita Chawla de-signs a new class tailored specifically towards what

she feels is the greatest need of the community. We warmly invite you to join us for this very special Integral Coaching event, which we call the Master Class. Here is the topic for this year :

“An Authentic Life”

When we blindly follow the flock, crowd, herd, or culture, we are being inauthentic towards ourselves and less than fully human. Impressionists created an entirely new genre of art that came from self-expression that would not be stifled, rather than living a life of confor-mity. Leaving behind the inauthentic life, it is possible to become more whole, centered and integrated. Akin to jazz being an expression of freedom, in living authenti-cally, we compose and sing our own song. In this Master Class, we will explore what it takes to live an authentic life.

What grads are saying about last year’s Master Class:

“Sarita’s wisdom, courage and beauty cre-ated an environment that was both chal-lenging and playful: masterful teaching.” — Ana Lucia Evans

“The learning was profound and intense. Although the course was only a day and a half, months later I still feel like I’m digest-ing what I took in.” — Katy Mess

Sarita Chawla

R E G I S T E R N O W

8 0 0 . 3 3 2 . 4 6 1 8

T h e M a s t e r C l a s s 2 0 1 0“ A n A u t h e n t i c L i f e ”

DATESSan Francisco

September 28–29sold out

Washington, DCOctober 1–2

San FranciscoOctober 18–19

HOURSFirst evening: 7–9:30 pmNext day: 9 am – 6 pm

COST$475

PREREQUISITEProfessional Coaching Course or

Integral Coaching Principles

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N V W G R A D U A T E D E P T

THE GRAD BLASTfor graduates of the Professional Coaching Courseby Maryellen Myers

Welcome Readers!

Summer is definitely here in the Northern Hemisphere. Triple digits, four ears of corn for a buck, and for those of us living on the California northern coast, constant fog in Half Moon Bay. Sip your mint julep or lemonade and put your feet up….then head home to relax after a hard day at the office. That’s how we roll.

Obscure Holidays of the Quarter—Some of my favorites:

August 13th is Left Handers’ Day. Right-handed people operate on the left side of the brain; left-handed people use the right side. Therefore, only left-handed people are in their right mind. It is believed that all polar bears are left-handed. Everyone is a Left Hander in Left Hand, West Virginia. Honor our left-handed brothers and sisters with a leftie “high five.”

October 17th is Wear Something Gaudy Day. Here is your chance to really stick out in a crowd. If you don’t have anything gaudy in your wardrobe, call me for some names of people who I am SURE can lend you something. For some, this seems to be a holiday they celebrate daily…

October 29th is Hermit Day (or a more modern term: Introvert Day). For many of us who lead an increas-ingly busy lifestyle, the idea of being a “Hermit for a Day” is very tempting. If you are a wanna-be hermit, prepare to celebrate by chilling out by yourself where no one can find you (particularly if you have small children).

What are our Grads up to?

Paula Cooney (2004) left “year round - it’s a dry heat” Arizona to “winter time - turn up the heat” Min-neapolis. She is looking for fellow NVW grads in her area to connect with. If you’re a Minneapolis grad, check out the Find-a-Coach section of the NVW website and reach out to Paula.

Cover Guy…..Greg Gillis (2004) mugs it for the International Coaching Federation. He graces the cover of the 2009 ICF Annual Report. What’s next? Do I see a calendar in Greg’s future? Send your awesome comments to Greg: you can find him on Find-a-Coach.

Tim Tosta (2008) authored the book #DEATHtweet. It is a life-affirming book about the lessons learned at the end of life... Each entry is the same size as a tweet. A couple of Tim’s favorite tweets are “Helping some-one else is life fulfilling, it gets you out of yourself” and “If this part of your life were a sport, how would you get in shape to play?” To learn more about this project (and get some free legal advice—just kiddin’ Tim) go to www.coachingcounsel.com.

Me with Grad Dave Dresden (1999) at my weddin’!

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N V W G R A D U A T E D E P T

Jagruti Bhikha, Saratoga, CADeb Blackmore, Atherton, CAEron Block, San Francisco, CALucy Botello, Mexico City, MexicoSara Bronson, Richmond, CASandra Cohen, Seattle, WALloyd Comeau, Beaverton, ORCeleste Demitrios, Oakland, CABruce Descoteaux, San Diego, CASuzanne Eisenhut, San Francisco, CAFran Evans, Menlo Park, CADiane Flaherty, Portland, OR

Cherie Gardiner, San Francisco, CADayna Hurst, Los Gatos, CANatasha Innocenti, San Anselmo, CALorraine Janeway, Hillsboro, ORCara Jones, San Francisco, CAMichele Lee, Seattle, WAMaria Lira Meza, Mexico City, MexicoEva Lo, Chicago, ILCathy Maljournal, Menlo Park, CARosemary Mathy, Champaign, ILJoy Mazzola, Berkeley, CAMelissa McVicker, Mountain View, CA

ISO NVW grads in SoCal: Scott Scherer (2010) would love to meet same for the purpose of creating community. Please let Scott know your interest. His contact info? You guessed it, Find-a-Coach on the NVW website. (Is there a pattern here?)

A GIANT accomplishment for Denise Connich (2004): she completed her Master’s in Counseling this past June 2010. So, Denise…what IS the difference between therapy and coaching?

Lorraine Padden (2005) and Carl Liebold exchanged their marital vows on June 5th. Best wishes to the bride and congratulation to the groom. Marital advice from Ben Franklin: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”

Lights, camera, action.... Gillian Khoo (2003), D.J. Anderson (2007) and Craig Martin (2003) con-tributed to a NVW media promotion project headed by filmmaker Patrick Flaherty (2010). Keep your eyes peeled for the finished product...it will be showing up on the NVW website soon. “I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.”

The whole gang!” From left: Maryellen Myers, Craig Martin, Gillian Khoo, Gregory Rydquist, D.J. Anderson,

Patrick Flaherty

Camera on camera action. Craig Martin and DJ Ander-son during their joint interview. Kudos to Maryellen for

her photographic eye.

What a natural! Our cherished Gillian Khoo looked great on all cameras.

And congratulations to Craig Martin who will be moderating a pre-conference panel at the first Asia Pacific Coaching Conference in Singapore this September 1-3. His topic is: “How to Succeed in the Global Coaching Marketplace.” We are sure Craig will ROCK THE HOUSE.

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Jagruti Bhikha, Saratoga, CADeb Blackmore, Atherton, CAEron Block, San Francisco, CALucy Botello, Mexico City, MexicoSara Bronson, Richmond, CASandra Cohen, Seattle, WALloyd Comeau, Beaverton, ORCeleste Demitrios, Oakland, CABruce Descoteaux, San Diego, CASuzanne Eisenhut, San Francisco, CAFran Evans, Menlo Park, CADiane Flaherty, Portland, OR

Cherie Gardiner, San Francisco, CADayna Hurst, Los Gatos, CANatasha Innocenti, San Anselmo, CALorraine Janeway, Hillsboro, ORCara Jones, San Francisco, CAMichele Lee, Seattle, WAMaria Lira Meza, Mexico City, MexicoEva Lo, Chicago, ILCathy Maljournal, Menlo Park, CARosemary Mathy, Champaign, IL

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. — Lao Tzu

Keepin’ it real,Maryellen MyersDirector of Graduate Development

Terry Ash, Pleasant Hill, CA Paula Backus, Eugene, OR Jofi Baldrich, San Juan, PR Gail Barber, Birmingham, AL Barbara Bevilacqua, Oakland, CA Jill Clark, San Francisco, CA Patrick Flaherty, San Francisco, CA Greg Goates, Encinitas, CA Maya Hiersoux, Oakland, CA Irene Hughes, San Mateo, CA Lisa Iverson, Olympia, WA Barbara Jacque, San Francisco, CA Meri Justis, Eugene, OR David Kelly, San Rafael, CA Catherine la O’, San Francisco, CA Mary Lemons, San Jose, CA Tony Manavalan, Los Angeles, CA Patty McCourt, Eugene, OR

Robin Miles, Hercules, CA Deborah Montesinos, Oakland, CA Susan Muck, Eugene, OR Dawn Neal, San Francisco, CA Jesse Nelson Dunn, San Francisco, CA Sandra Ortiz, Sherman Oaks, CA Frank Ostaseski, Sausalito, CA Marty Parker, Cape Canaveral, FL Mellissa Rempfer, Modesto, CA Heather Robinson, Kent, WA Saara Robles, Alamo, CA Dalvinder Singh, Folsom, CA Linda Smith, Albuquerque, NM Ange Stephens, Sebastopol, CA Mary Alice Tierney, Brookfield, WI Heather Todd, Saratoga, CA Yea-Yunn Turkalj, Sebastopol, CA Beth VanStory, Richmond, VA Simone Writer, San Francisco, CA

Congratulations and Welcome to Our New Graduates:

All of the artwork in this edition of Distinctions was created by faculty member Ruben Rodriguez. We are so proud to be showcasing his work here,

and very grateful to Ruben for giving us the opportunity to do so.

Photographer’s Statement: Ruben Rodriguez

I don’t capture images, they capture me.

A moment speaks to me and, through my photographs, I share my insights with others.

My approach to taking photographs is to put on headphones, listen to my music and explore unfamiliar places without a plan or specific destination. I usually walk very slowly and follow my heart and intuition where they lead. It is a practice in mindful attention to what wants to be noticed, seen, appreciated, understood and felt... in myself.

I believe that when something or someone is truly beheld, in that sacred moment, the seer and the seen are both transformed and brought into a richer form of existence. It is a profound act of co-creation and compassion.

My photos are expressions of what I think and feel about our shared humanity. I have discov-ered over time that I am usually commenting on the topics of beauty, compassion, life, death, spirit and hope.

I am committed to an intuitive “point and shoot” approach to photography, as I believe beautiful images come mostly from a heart-filled, soulful place within us.

To see more of Ruben’s work visit his website at integralphotos.com.

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Free Meet the Leader Call Coming up!

On August 10, meet Professional Coach-ing Course leader Steve March on a free one-hour conference call. Steve will be leading the PCC starting this September in Chicago. Register now.

COACHING TO EXCELLENCETwo interactive days on the foundations of coaching.

Boston September 27–28Chicago August 18–19 December 8–9San Francisco September 15–16 November 3–4

Cost: $695

PROFESSIONAL COACHING COURSECertification program for independent and corporate coaches. Year-long programs begin:

Boston November 2010Chicago September 2010London October 2010San Francisco October 2010 February 2011Washington DC April 2011

Cost: $9,500

COACHING ROUNDTABLESOne-day free seminars for graduates and guests.

San Francisco August 21 November 20

Cost: Free

STUDY GROUP WITH JAMESMonthly conference calls with guest authorsapplying current texts to coaching cases.Quarters begin January, April, July, October.

Cost: $375/Quarter

INTEGRAL COACHING PRINCIPLESThree days for experienced coaches from other schools and disciplines.

Washington DC November 16–18

Cost: $1,275

COACHING FOR EMBODIMENTExperiential excercises, powerful distinctions and guided practice sessions.

San Francisco September 10–12

Cost: $585

COACH AS ENTREPRENEURBuild your business as a coach by developing your skills and way of being as an entrepreneur.

San Francisco December 1–3

Cost: $1,495

MASTER CLASS“An Authentic Life”Continuing education for PCC graduates.

San Francisco October 18–19Washington DC October 1–2

Cost: $475

Virtual RoundtablesFor those who don’t live close enough to attend a Coaching Roundtable in person, we now offer free telephone events called Virtual Roundtables. Join us each month to get your regular dose of Integral Coaching! Click on the dates or titles below to register.

August 24, with James Flaherty: Goodness—the Heart of the MatterSeptember 22, with Sarita Chawla: Time and Timing

All calls take place from Noon–1 p.m. Pacific Time.

C O U R S E S C H E D U L E

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