MSM Spring 2011

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Mass Singles Magazine MSM

Spring 2011

Boston’s MostBoston’s MostEligible BachelorEligible Bachelorand Bacheloretteand BacheloretteFinalists of 2011Finalists of 2011


Page 14


insideVolume 3, Number 1Spring 2011

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Editor’s letter.............................................................05Dating after 40...........................................................08Age is just a number...Single motherhood...................................................10Single while raising teensSocial media..............................................................12Social media and the long-distance relationshipHoroscope.................................................................15

Departments

Special FeatureBoston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and

Bachelorette Finalists of 2011

Page 9

Merry Elfing HolidayParty Pictures Page 11

Bachelor finalist Joshua Jerez

Bachelorette finalistTeri Phipps



From the publisher’s desk

Dear readers,

I have spent the last few months planning and organizing the firstAnnual Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette event.This competition has been on my mind since I first launched themagazine. With everything I do, I always want to do things right ornot at all. So it took me almost two years to announce the very firstcompetition. Thirty-seven women and sixteen men entered the mosteligible bachelor and bachelorette contest. After carefully reviewingeach applicant, four women and four men were selected as finalists tocompete in the main event on March 12th.

I wish to thank all the sponsors of the most eligible bachelor andbachelorette event and contest; platinum title sponsor, Skin Confident,LLC, a cosmetic rejuvenation service based out of Duxbury, MA.Gold sponsors; Body Solutions, a personal service training program inHolbrook, and Belvedere Vodka. I also would like to thanks thejudges; Chris Sinclair of Anthem Entertainment, Christian Galvin ofTixList.com, Joanne Giannini of Body Solutions, Susan Fallon of SkinConfident and Adaora Asala of Queer Women Of Color. And aspecial thanks to Erica Wright, the hostess of the event.

I wish all the finalists good luck in this competition.

Sincerely,

Marie Stuart Noë[email protected]

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Age is just a number…By Joanne Giannini

Dating after 40

et’s set the stage for my “Cougar”transformation. There I was, 40 yearsold and my husband of 10 years hadjust cheated on me with a woman hemet while we were on vacation to-gether. We were on a cruise ship witha bunch of our friends and I had goneback to the cabin to sleep. He stayedout with everyone else and ended up

meeting a tranny-looking she-beast at the disco on theship. First, put yourself in my place and imagine howyou would feel: betrayed, unattractive, old, and everyother negative feeling all rolled into one. So a fewmonths after we are living apart, I take a much neededvacation to Cancun with my friend Robyn.

I was sitting there all depressed and feeling bad aboutmyself, getting totally liquored up at the beach bar onthe free booze at our all-inclusive resort. To makematters worse, it is actually my wedding anniversaryon this particular day. Next thing I know, a 26-year-old cutie from Louisiana named “Boo” (yes, Boo isreally his name) is chatting me up. “Wow,” I think,“this guy is actually interested in ME.” Let’s fast for-

ward to later that night, at which point we are doingthe drunken bumper walk back to the room, systemat-ically bouncing off one wall right into the other walland back again. We get back to my room and I say tohim, “You know, I’m much older than you,” to whichhe replies, “Age is just a number…” Now I knowwhat you are all thinking and quite frankly that’swhat I was thinking too, and really all I was lookingfor was a revenge of sorts against my cheating hus-band. But seriously, that ended up not being the caseat all. A couple of hours later, he’s calling me, askingme if we want to go hang out with him and his friendsand then the following day he wants to do somethingagain.

L


This guy basically tried his best for the whole vaca-tion to make me happy in every way possible and evencalled me after we returned and asked me to come visithim.

And for the first time in YEARS I felt, well, attractive.And young. And wanted. And happy. This was trulythe turning point for me. Still, I though this youngerguy thing was just a vacation type of thing.About a year after my Cancun “Boo Boo,” I was at alocal bar and there was this HOT guy who was obvi-ously much too young for me standing near us. Myfriend misjudged her alcohol intake and was unable todrive home. We were trying to figure out how wecould get her home and then get her back to her car inthe early morning so she could get to work, since noone else in the group could drive a manual transmis-sion, when Buddy (yep, that’s his name) heard ourconversation and quickly took it as an opportunity totalk to me. He said he would be happy to drive her carand then I could drive him back here. She only livedabout 10 minutes away, mind you.

So, we drop off my friend and her car and I drove himback to the bar. He tells me, “I live in the buildingright behind the bar. Why don’t you come in for a fewminutes and have a beer?” And that was the beginningof the Summer of Buddy! Now I tried to not get in-volved, but the thing was he was so damn adorable andgood to me. This wasn’t just the quick fling I was ex-pecting. Other than the fact he was 13 years younger,he was actually a great boyfriend. OK, maybe weweren’t having dinners at the Capital Grille, but I real-ly enjoyed laying in bed watching horror films withhim. Alas, I was certain he would wake up one dayand regret being with someone so much older, so Ibroke it off. He insisted this was not going to be thecase, telling me that he loved me and wasn’t goinganywhere. Unfortunately, this was not a chance I waswilling to take.

Next up is Jason, who is again 13 years younger. Justlike with Buddy, I had never intended to get very in-volved and again, he ended up being really special. Asan example, one night we went out and the combina-tion of much alcohol and greasy late-night food did notagree with me whatsoever and I ended up puking theentire night. The next day I’m laying there a total trainwreck. I tell him, “Don’t even look at me” and hereaches over, hugs me, kisses me on the forehead and

tells me, “You are always beautiful to me.” Then hewent out and got me Gatorade so I wouldn’t die ofpost-puke dehydration. As strange as it may seem, thisguy was the real deal and truly understood how tomake a woman feel special. Let me clue all you guysin: it’s not fancy dinners or expensive gifts, it’s yourcontinual ACTIONS – the quick text message to say hiat lunchtime, the kiss on the forehead in the middle ofthe night, remembering how she likes her tea, etc. –that really wins a woman’s heart. I was certain hewould wake up one day and regret being with someoneso much older, so I broke it off. He too insisted thiswas not going to be the case, telling me that he lovedme. And yet once again, this was not a chance I waswilling to take.

I fully expected that when I returned back to the realityof middle-aged divorcee life I would only date guysmaybe a few years younger and older than me, but ba-sically the same age. But all the guys I’ve datedaround my own age have been rather, shall we say,disappointing, and every young guy I have tried tofend off has insisted that “age is just a number” andbeen willing to dive into a relationship head first withno reservations. Strangely enough, I’ve had moreproblems truly connecting with guys around my ownage than guys a decade (or more) younger.

Now again, it’s not that this was my plan. If fact, I’vetried in every way possible NOT to date guys who aretoo young, assuming there could never be a long-termfuture. I have often wondered if the reason I can con-nect with younger guys so much better is exactly that:I have absolutely no vision of a long-term future withthem, and hence I’m not afraid to actually be myself,with all my flaws and imperfections. It is like the un-suitable suitors get the “full-fat and flavor version” ofme, rather than the “low-fat and less-filling version”the more suitable suitors get. I have also wondered ifthe younger generation of men is just, well, different,brought up in an era where it is acceptable for men tobe more loving and giving in general.

So is age just a number? And is it really possible tohave a true relationship with someone a decade (ormore) younger? Log onto www.singlesmag.net and letus know what you think. MEOW! Yes, that’s right, thousands! □


Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelorand Bachelorette of 2011 Party

Welcome to the first annual Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette event.Tonight, one gentleman will win the title of Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor. Andone young woman will win the title of Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelorette.Each winner will take home $1000 worth of prizes.

6:00PM-6:45PM Guests check-in

Pick up goodie bags6:30PM-7:15PM

Complimentary appetizers Networking

7:15PM-7:45PMHostess will introduce the judges,

and the finalists7:45PM-8:15PM

IntermissionGuests can vote for one favorite to receive a $100 gift certificate

Free Vodka shots courtesy of Belvedere Vodka8:15PM-:9:00PM

The fan favorite will be announced Judges will choose the Boston's Most Eligible Bachelor

and Bachelorette of 2011

Gold sponsor

Body SolutionsHolbrook, MAhttp://joannesbodysolutions.com

J. Allen Matchmakinghttp://jallenmatch.com

Platinum sponsor

Skin Confident, LLC40 Tremont St,Building 10, Suite 50,Duxbury, MA 02332http://skinconfident.com

Twitter

Feel free to tweet thisevent using the hashtag#Bostonmosteligible2011@singlesmag

Other sponsors

Belvedere VodkaLiv SxinneyBoob Tube


Name: Teri PhippsCity: HopkintonBio: Teri Phipps is a marketingassistant for a New Englandbased orthopedic company.She enjoys playing softball andhas participated in a few minimarathons like the SharonTimlin run.

Name: Stacey LeascaCity: BostonBio: Stacey Leasca is theeditor-in-chief ofsumoskinny.com,editor-in-chief ofmodelkarma.com,and a freelance writer forAOL Patch Boston.

Name: Diane DengCity: BostonBio: Diane Deng volunteersas the acting director ofmarketing and promotionsoffice for the Asian-AmericanNational Committee,a national non-profit forAsian American rights.

Name: Jessica DolginCity: Chestnut HillBio: Jessica is a NetworkOperations CenterEngineer at Athenahealth,Inc., She is a former Dean'sList student at the Universityof Vermont.

Name: Will SmithCity: Lynn,Bio: Will Smith of Lynn isan Iraq war veteran and aformer jet engine mechanicin the United States Air force.

Name Joshua JerezCity: MethuenBio: Joshua is the owner ofComputer Solutions, LLC.He is currently completinga degree in ElectricalEngineering. Joshua is anavid rugby player.He has volunteered withthe New Bedford Boys and Girls Club. He enjoys telling jokes,watching movies and playing chess.

Name: Silas DunhamCity: BostonBio: Silas Dunham is theco-founder/president ofSumoskinny.com. Silas hasdonated time to theconservation project in Peru,invasive plant removal onAustralian coast, and hasspent 3 Summers as acamp director’s assistant atTangle wood 4h camp andlearning center.

Name: Thomas QuinnCity: BostonBio: Tom is a sales associateat Town Fair Tire. He enjoyswatching movies, dining inand out, Celtics, Patriots andRed Sox Fan. He is a formerlittle league coach.

The Finalists


aising teens alone in today’s age isn’t easy. Ittruly takes a village to raise a child. What doyou do when the absent parent now wants topartially step in and parent the child from a

distance? Better yet, how about when the absent par-ent is an angry unforgiving mom. It’s important forthe parents to maintain reasonable communication.How could anyone expect a child to talk and expressthemselves when the parents aren’t at least cordialwith one another?

There’s a 16 year-old girl that’s dealing with her ab-sent dad. There’s a 15 year-old being raised by anoth-er family member., but yearns for her mother’s loveand attention and ultimately a reunion back home.With the 16 year-old, her dad was taken away and de-ported when she was 2 years old. She’s only had a faceto face with him twice since his departure. Now thatshe is older, he wants her to come live with him. Alsoto understand why he has a new family and she’s nothis priority like he used to tell her. His only means ofcommunication is on the Internet (Facebook) and may-be the phone from time to time. When asked why hedoesn’t come back to the states, for she needs him anddesires to have this great dad, she was told he made alife there and is happy and peaceful. Now she has todeal with the thought of him wanting to separate herfrom the rest of her family so she could be with him inhis chosen element.

The 15 year-old had the chance to grow up part timewith her mom, but for some reasons or another shewas sent to this relative or that one until she was final-

ly sent away for good. Although she knew of theproblems in the home, she never stopped loving andwanting to return home with her nuclear family.

The holidays brings about an array of emotions for all,and to these young teens its that much more stressfulto handle when they are torn up inside about parentsnot involved in their lives.

How are these young people supposed to understandsuch trials and expectations set before them? Throughno fault of their own, are forced to deal with thethought of being separated and isolated from their fa-miliar. At this time of the year how could one be soselfish and ask a confused and angry teen to make de-cisions when so many of their own questions havegone unanswered.

I’ve learned that although these kids ultimately have tolisten and do what they are told, it makes for easierliving when you listen to what they have to say or feel.Kids are people too and deserve respect as much as thenext person. If taught communication, respect, love,discipline with understanding early in age, then itshouldn’t be too hard to understand them as they getolder. Teens are a bundle of hormones, curiosities anduncertainties; it is only expected to have to have majorpatience if we are to put out a new breed of adults.□

Single while raising teensBy April Rose

April Rose has been a singlemother for over 20 years.She enjoys her work as amassage therapist. AprilStates “ I've learned a lot in my short life aboutchildren and have takensome psychology classesto get a better grip on howthey think and feel.”

R


Merry Elfing Holiday Party at Clash of the Ash in Quincy

Tasty dessert samples

Joanne Giannini once again organized the annual Merry Elfing Holiday party at Ash of the Clash in Quincy.We raised $640.00 for the Jennifer Tarr Memorial Fund and had a great time! The winner of the $200.00Restaurant.com gift certificate was Victor Araujo, the best elf attire was Rochelle Patten, biggest donation wasRobyn Ward, most helpful elf was Shiela Tarr Lally, and elf who traveled the greatest distance was Kelly Tarr.Below are the photos from the event.


love the cyberpunk connectivity thatsocial networks and ubiquitous smart-phones have brought us. I'm excited bynew technology creating new social pat-terns, by the endless, everywhere con-versation of texting and the instant

connection when photos of distant friends appear inmy hands. Every day it's easier to connect based oninterest and affection, and not only geography.

I love it, of course I do, but somehow the side of methat's taught English still cringes at some of whatpasses for communication.

Do you know what I mean? I hate a perfectly goodverb like fail turned into a noun, and then overused. Ihate an emoticon used as a crutch to make one's mean-ing clear, instead of choosing vocabulary more care-fully. I've devoted more class time than I'd like toadmit to explaining that texting acronyms don't belongin an essay. I empathize with my students' insistencethat everyone writes like this, but I still suggest thatthey look for a synonym for she was :(, and remindthem that 2 is neither to nor too.

I'm not sure whether to laugh at the hilarious back-for-mation or cry at the perversion of my beloved Englishlanguage when my students hug and tell each other "Iless than three you!"

But then... I met somebody. This is hard to convey bytext and tweet, but picture me, saying, with heavy em-phasis, that I'd met someone. And, after enumeratinghis amazing qualities, probably ad nauseum, I'd getaround to telling you that this particular somebody hasthe misfortune of living in a different time zone.

He's a great guy, and he meets the requirements for along distance boyfriend, which is to say he texts affec-tionately and knows the difference between your andyou're. And he passes the test for digital age honesty,the photos and comments on his Facebook wall al-ways match what he tells me.

A few weeks into this long-distance flirtation, andnow I understand the appeal.An XOXO, formerly the province of childhood birth-day cards, makes a forwarded link or a catch-you-lateremail suddenly affectionate. This would always besweet, but becomes essential with miles in the middle.

As more of my time is spend exchanging texts andannotated links, I'm even reconsidering the juvenilesilliness of ASCII icons, considering complicatedcharacter flowers and expressions less substitution fortextual communication, and more embellishment ofhis words. This is the digital equivalent of a margindoodle, a perfect example of distant affection.

I don't think I'll be OMG-ing any time soon, or cn ul8tr, but I'm revising my stance on smileys andXOXO.

I'm just not sure if I less-than-three him yet. □

Meg Stivison is a gamesjournalist and a social mediaconsultant for virtual worldNext Island. She blogs on life,videogames, and theintersection of the two atSimpsonsParadox.comFollow Meg on Twitter @@simpsonsparadox

By Meg Stivison

I




HoroscopesLIBRASeptember 23-October 22Even though you were getting used to being single,you are starting to give in to the attacks of an intrigu-ing smile. Is marriage on the cards?! If you have anascendant in Scorpio, you shouldn't worry about be-ing prudent as your friends advises but think rather ofacting with decision.\SCORPIOOctober 23 - November 21Stop thinking of life as a cross to bear. You are theone ruining it with your innate pessimism. That'senough! You of the second decade seem born to suf-fer. When you're single, you miss tenderness as a cou-ple but the minute you find a partner, you risk beingsingle again!SAGITTARIUSNovember 22-December 21You've always been good at making quick decisionswhich you feel this time won't be like others. You'llhave to choose between a new fascinating encounterand a tested companion. You've been asleep for solong and it's time to wake up now. You will be able tofulfill one of your dreams especially erotic ones.CAPRICORNDecember 22-January 19This dry spell is about to finish. Expect a favorableday, full of intriguing encounters. With the stars smil-ing down on you, you can spend, spend, spend! Thoseborn in the third decade won't be very sentimental oremotional and can expect solitude. You're now fed upyou can't knock down that wall of indifference aroundyou.AQUARIUSJanuary 20-February 18Disappointments over the last few days have left youwith a nasty taste in your mouth - there's no doubtabout that. You've lost your desire to meet people -get over it! Tonight someone you haven't heard fromfor ages will call you, suggesting a date. You may aswell accept, it'll be a change if nothing else!PISCESFebruary 19-March 20Today with all the work you have to do, you feel alittle down. The Stars are promising however so treatyourself to some time out. Relax and enjoy pleasantmoments only a single person can. You only havehalf the dishes to wash as a couple does!

ARIESMarch 21-April 19Stop thinking about how lonely you are and try to be in abetter mood. It's true you've had some disappointments butbetter times are on the way. Tonight, unless you're on ayacht sipping champagne, you'd do well to look around forsomeone similar to you. Somewhere there's someone honestand kind around...just like you!TAURUSApril 20-May 20What is making you so restless? Even today the stars will tryto get a smile out of you...in vain. Those of the first decadewill fight in the heated boxing ring of cerebral love, leavingone-night stands with a good impression.GEMINIMay 21-June 21Some gardening, preparing a delicious lunch, relaxing infront of the TV-here are a few activities which will makeyour day less melancholy. Those of you born in the 3rd de-cade who feel a little blue are advised to put on a brave faceand start going from one party to another. It'll take time butthis happiness will be exciting.CANCERJune 22-July 22Today your feelings will take the upper hand and past disap-pointments will result in a good long cry. Tonight those bornin the second decade will be even more difficult to pleasethan usual and will refuse to welcome Cupid's arrow.LEOJuly 23-August 22Everything will depend on you today my friend : the Starswant to help you to no longer be alone so all you need is thecourage to act! Tonight a handful of malicious Stars havedecided to ruin your dreams of Love. You'd better fight this!VIRGOAugust 23-September 22Today you'll finally manage to look someone in the eyes andconfess your love. So for a couple of months anyway youcan say goodbye to solitude! For those of you of the seconddecade, loneliness appears as a necessary evil, a moment'ssilence after so much disappointment.

*horoscopofree.com

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MSM Spring 2011