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SHABBAT SCHEDULE

Mincha 6:50pm Shir Hashirim: 7:05pm Candle Lighting: 6:46pm Shaharit: 8:30am Youth Minyan: 9:00am Zeman Keriat Shema 9:37am 2nd Zeman Keriat Shema 10:11am Daf Yomi 5:15pm Shiur: 5:50pm Minha: 6:30pm Followed by Seudat Shelishit, Children’s Program, Teenager Program, & Arvit Shabbat Ends: 7:46pm Rabbenu Tam 8:16pm

We would like to remind our Kahal Kadosh to please Donate wholeheartedly towards our Beautiful Kehila. Anyone interested in donating for any occasion, Avot Ubanim $120, Kiddush $350, Seudat Shelishit $275, Weekly Bulletin $150, Weekly Daf Yomi $180, Daf Yomi Masechet $2500, Yearly Daf Yomi $5000, Weekly Breakfast $150, Daily Learning $180, Weekly Learning $613, Monthly Rent $3500, & Monthly Learning $2000, Please contact the Rabbi.

Thanking you in advance for your generous support. Tizke Lemitzvot!

New Mishnayot Program for Boys every Sunday afternoon! In Recess

New Havruta Learning Groups!

Please look at the Schedule for info. Next Shabbat is Shabbat Teshuba.

Yom Kippur Beezrat Hashem this Tuesday evening!

We would like to Thank everyone who opened up their hearts by supporting our

Beautiful Kehila throughout the Rosh Hashana. Your Continuous Support is

greatly appreciated towards Yom Kippur. Tizku Leshanim Rabot Neimot Vetovot!

WEEKLY SCHEDULE SUNDAY

Selichot: 6:45am Shaharit: 7:40am Selichot #2 8:15am Shaharit #2 9:00am Minha/Arbit 6:45pm Teenager Program In Recess

MONDAY TO FRIDAY Selichot 5:45am Shaharit 6:40am Hodu Approx: 6:50am Selichot #2 7:15am Shaharit #2 8:00am Shiur in Spanish 5:45pm Minha/Arbit 6:45pm

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Torah Teasers (AISH)

1. What is unique about this parsha with regard to the annual Torah reading cycle in the synagogue? 2. In this parsha, Moshe passes away at the age of 120 years. Where from the Torah do we see an explicit verse that 120 years is an appropriate age to die? 3. What holiday is explicitly referred to in this parsha? 4. What two words found in this parsha are also names of parshios in the book of Genesis? 5. To whom are the encouraging words "be strong and courageous" said in this parsha? (2 answers) 6. In this parsha, where do women and small children appear in the same verse? What 4 other places in the book of Deuteronomy are women and small children mentioned in the same verse? 7. What four items are described in this parsha as a "witness"? 8. Where in this parsha is an a fortiori argument (kal vechomer) mentioned? What 3 other places does this appear in the Torah?

Answers

1) Vayelech is the only parsha that can be read in its entirety twice in one year. This can happen if parshat Nitzavim and Vayelech are read on separate weeks, in which case Vayelech is read after Rosh Hashana. Then in the following year, if the parshat are read together, Vayelech is read before the Rosh Hashana - i.e. twice in one year. 2) In parshat Bereshit, Hashem explicitly states that the days of mankind should be 120 years (Genesis 6:3, according to the Ibn Ezra; see Rashi). 3) The festival of Sukkot is explicitly referred to as the time when the mitzvah of Hakhel takes place, following the Sabbatical year (Deut. 31:10). 4) The words "miketz" (Deut. 30:10) and "vayera" (31:15). are also names of parshat in the book of Genesis. 5) Moshe encourages the Jews to "be strong and courageous" in their war against the Canaanites (Deut. 31:6). Moshe also encourages Yehoshua to "be strong and courageous" in leading the Jews into the land (Deut. 31:23). 6) Regarding the command of Hakhel, women and children must come to Jerusalem to hear the king read the Torah (Deut. 31:12). Elsewhere in the book of Deuteronomy: (1-2) Twice in parshat Devarim when Moshe recalls the destruction and occupation of Cheshbon and Bashan, women and small children are mentioned together (Deut. 2:34, 3:6). (3) In parshat Shoftim, regarding the rules of conquering a city, the Jewish army may keep alive the women and small children (Deut. 20:14). (4) In parshat Nitzavim, Moshe lists groups of people who are "standing" before Hashem - including women and children (Deut. 29:10). 7) The parsha describes as a witness: (1) The song that Moshe will write in the next parsha (Deut. 31:19). (2) The Torah Scroll placed with the Holy Ark (Deut. 31:26). (3-4) Heaven and Earth (Deut. 31:28). 8) Moshe tells the Jews that "since you rebelled when I was alive, surely you will rebel after I die" (Deut. 31:27). Elsewhere in the Torah: (1) In parshat Vayigash, when the brothers are accused of stealing Joseph's silver goblet, they respond: "We brought back the money that we found in our sacks... so how could we have stolen from you silver or gold?" (Genesis 44:8). (2) In parshat Va'erah, Moshe says to Hashem: "If the Jews did not listen to me, why would Pharaoh?" (Exodus 6:12). (3) In parshat Behaalosecha, Hashem tells Moshe: "If a father would spit in his daughter's face, she would be humiliated for 7 days; surely Miriam should be outside the camp for 7 days" (Numbers 12:14).

Refuah Shelema List Men Women

• Yosef Zvi Ben Sara Yosefia, • Yosef Haim Ben Mesouda • Mordechai Ben Brucha Malka

Shmalo, • Yizhak Abraham Ben Sheli, • Yosef Yizhak Ben Sara Hana, • Mordechai Ben Miriam, • Meir Raymond Ben Mathilde • Salomon Benarroch Ben Alia • Abraham Israel Ben Camy Yaffa • Menahem Ben Shira

• Isaac Ben Mesoda, • Haim Ben Marcelle, • Yizhak Ben Simja • Reuben Ben Eta, • Michael Ben Aliza, • Eliel Moshe Ben Sarah • Refael Ben Clara • Netanel Sayegh Ben Rosa • Eliyahu Ben Mazal • Mordechai Ben Mercedes • Aviv Ben Luba Miriam

• Simja Bat Esther, • Rachel Bat Sarah, • Nina Bat Rachel, • Gitel Rina Bat Yael, • Miriam Bat Sofy, • Rahma Bat Simha • Esther Bat Fortuna • Malka Bat Dina • Raizel Bat Miriam • Leah Bat Rivka • Raizel Bat Miriam

• Sara Ledicia Bat Mesoda, • Alegria Simha Bat Esther, • Naomie Bat Rarel Adda, • Malka Bat Joyce Simja, • Sivan Simha Bat Yehudit, • Natalie Rachel Bat Nancy, • Abigael Haya Bat Esther • Madeleine Bat Esther • Nurit Jacqueline Bat Rahel • Camouna Bat Fortuna

If anyone would like to contact the Rabbi, please feel free to call or text 786-879-4951, or email rabbi@hechalshalom.org.

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Community Announcements (It is YOUR Community, make the most of it!)

Miscellaneous Announcements:

• This Week’s Congregational Kiddush has been Kindly Sponsored Leiluy Nishmat Yaakov Bengio Bar Abraham z”l the 6th of Tishri. Tihye Nishmato Tzerura Bitzror Hahayim Amen. By his son Mr. Abraham Bengio, & Grandchildren, Jacob & Jaymy Bengio.

• The Kiddush Club Initiative. Anyone interested donating a Kiddush Please kindly contact the Rabbi. Tizke Lemizvot!

• This Week’s Seudat Shelishit is still available for Sponsorship!

• This Week’s Breakfast is still available for Sponsorship!

Anyone interested in sponsoring Breakfast for this week or on any day please contact the Rabbi.

• This Week’s Daf Yomi is still available for Sponsorship!

• If anyone is interested in creating a weekly class in your house or an individual class with the Rabbi, please do not hesitate to contact the Rabbi.

• We are trying to update our Congregant’s contact information. We would like to start sending texts about different Events and Shiurim. We would also like to start emailing the weekly bulletin. We would like to start a list of Nahalot/Azkarot/Yahrzeits. We would also like to make a Refuah Shelema list. Please send your contact information to the Rabbi at rabbi@hechalshalom.org

• Please feel free to contact any of the board members either in person, or via email with suggestions or comments. Our email addresses are:

Important Message!!!

Eruv Update: Surfside: The Eruv in Surfside now includes the walking paths along the beach. Pushing strollers and carrying is permitted on the paths, but not beyond the path or onto the beach. Bal Harbour: The Eruv in Bal Harbour included the inner (western) walking path only. The pier at Haulover Cut is not included.

• Due to the recent reorganization of seats in the Bet Hakenesset, We are happy to announce the NEW possibility of purchasing seats in the Bet Hakenesset. For more information, please contact the Board.

• Before hanging up anything anywhere in the Bet Hakenesset, please seek authorization from the Rabbi. This includes flyers etc. • Please be advised that prior to bringing any food or drinks for any occasion, you must first seek the authorization from the Rabbi.

Special Announcements

• We are pleased to announce that Ness 26 is part of the Amazon Charity Program, which would allow our community to collect 0.5% of all the orders made by any of you on Amazon.com. In order to register you need to log on smile.amazon.com and select Ness 26, Inc as the Charitable Organization you want to support, and from then shop on smile.amazon.com instead of www.amazon.com. It won’t cost anything more, and is an easy way to contribute to our budget needs.

• Anyone wishing to receive the Daily Halacha by the Rabbi please send a whatsapp message to Simon Chocron 786-351-1573

Community Calendar:

• The program for Teenaged Boys ages 13-18 Started again with Great Succes with Shiur by the Rabbi & Supper on Sunday Evenings Before Minha at around at 6:45 pm With Supper. New Participants Welcome! Anyone wishing to sponsor this Shiur Please contact the Rabbi. Tizke Lemitzvot!

• We have started the Mishmar Program Every other Thursday evening at 8:00 pm with Chulent, Beer, & Snacks. Everyone is welcome!

Avot Ubanim: This Mosae Shabbat at 7:45pm In Recess

Youth Minyan • We are proud to announce the inauguration of our YOUTH/TEEN MINYAN geared to train and teach our future

generations on the different tefillot and parashiot.

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We would like to Whole Heartedly Thank our Dear Friends,

Mr. & Mrs. Meir Cosiol for generously Donating the TORAH LEARNING of

Tishri 5780 In Honor of Rabbi & Rabanit David Elmaleh. Thank you

for your tireless efforts on behalf of the Community! We truly appreciate it. In this merit,

may Hashem Bless you & your wonderful family with all the Berachot of the Torah. Amen.

Birthdays

Happy Birthday To • Coty Benarroch – Shabb. Oct 5th, • Yonathan Guigui – Shabb. Oct 5th, • Michael Setboun – Shabb. Oct 5th, • Ronen Michael – Sun. Oct 6th, • Anael Benmergui – Tue. Oct 8th, • Ilana Luna Benmergui – Tue. Oct 8th, • Jonathan Werta – Thurs. Oct 10th, • Binyamin Perez – Mon. Oct 14th,

Happy Anniversary To

• Netanel Yizhak & Etti Perez Oct 11th. • Meyer & Luna Benhayoun Oct 17th

Nahalot

• Yaacov Bengio Bar Abraham z”l the 6th of Tishri (Shabbat) Father of Mr. Abraham Bengio

• Simha Mamane Bat Esther z”l the 12th of Tishri (Sister of Mr. Habib Mamane)

Next Shabbat:

• Meir Bouhadana z”l the 13th of Tishri (Father of Mr. Isaie Bouhadana) (Shabbat)

• David Amsili Bar Moshe z”l the 19th of Tishri (Father of Mrs. Rene Levine)

• Isaac Bendayan z”l the 21st of Tishri (Father of Mrs. Evelyn Belecen) • Simcha Bat Sara Benmergui z”l the 23rd of Tishri

(Mother of Mr. Mose Benmergui) • Machluf Ben Miryam z”l the 25th of Tishri

(Father of Dr. Jean Jacques Edderai) • Yehudah Benmergui Bar Sete z”l the 26th of Tishri

(Father of Mr. Mose Benmergui)

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Community Shiurim Weekday mornings:

• 6:10AM to 6:45AM: Laws of Nidah. New participants welcome!

• 7:30AM Shiur on Hok Leyisrael with Breakfast! Everyone Is Welcome to

Join. • 7:45AM to 8:30AM: Daf Yomi Masechet Temurah. NEW DAF YOMI

MASECHET! New participants are welcome! It is a great time to start learning the Daf and join thousands of Jews across the world in this incredible project.

• 9:00 AM to 10:00 AM: Mishna Berura Dirshu Cycle! New participants welcome!

Weekday afternoons:

• Before Minha o Monday through Thursday: Shiurim in Spanish on assorted topics.

• After Arvit: o Mondays & Wednesdays: Hoshen Mishpat – Business Halacha o Monday through Thursday: Shiurim in Spanish on assorted topics. o Every Thursday evening after Arvit Hilchot Nida in Depth for Men. o Tuesday Assorted Topics

In Recess for the Summer o Monday & Tuesday at 7:00pm Masechet Berachot in French o Every other Monday evening at 8:30pm Shalom Bayit Class to Women. o Every other Tuesday evening at 8:30pm Shalom Bayit Classes to Men.

• SHIUR for Ladies! The Rabbi’s Shiur on Halachot of Kashrut NEW SERIES ON Hilchot Basar Vechalav, (Laws pertaining to Meat & Milk) to Ladies, in the Bet Hakenesset, every Tuesday afternoon at 2:05 pm. New Participants are always Welcome! In Recess

Shabbat: • Shabbat night before Arvit: Short lecture on the Parasha of the week. • Shabbat Morning: Short Lecture on the Parashah of the week. • Shabbat Morning: Lecture on the Parashah of the week after Kiddush • Shabbat Afternoon – Daf Yomi at 6:00pm. • Shabbat Afternoon – Shiur at 6:50pm • Teenager Shiur – with Isaac Benmergui During Seudat Shelishit. • Seudat Shelishit: Short lecture on the Parasha of the week.

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Praying for Teshuba (Rabbi Eli Mansour Daily Halacha)

The Gemara in Masechet Berachot teaches, “Ha’kol Bi’ydeh Shamayim Hutz Mi’yirat Shamayim” – “Everything is in G-d’s Hands, except for fear of G-d.” This means that although G-d controls everything that happens in the world, there is one area which He chose not to control, and that is our free will. We, and only we, decide whether to act properly or improperly. G-d does not force us to choose good over evil or vice-versa. He leaves this completely in our control. The Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909), in his Ben Ish Hayil, raises the question of how to reconcile this fundamental precept with other sources, which indicate that G-d can cause us to repent. In one context, the Gemara says that opposing the Yeser Ha’ra (evil inclination) and performing Teshuba would be impossible without G-d’s help. And, we recite each day in the Amida prayer, “Hashibenu Abinu Le’Toratecha,” praying that G-d should bring us back to religious observance. How can we recite such a prayer if G-d does not interfere with our free will, and only we decide whether to act correctly? The Ben Ish Hai answered this question by distinguishing between two different stages of repentance: the initial thought, and the follow-up action. Teshuba begins with a stirring of the heart, with the recognition in one’s mind that he needs to improve. But this is only the beginning. After arriving at this realization, one must then do the hard work to change and to pray for forgiveness. The Ben Ish Hai explained that G-d “interferes” with our free will by putting the idea of Teshuba in our minds. The thoughts of Teshuba, and the feelings of disappointment with ourselves which we occasionally experience, come to us as a gift from the Almighty. But the rest is up to us. G-d puts the thoughts of Teshuba in our minds, but we must then invest the effort to make it happen. And thus when we pray “Hashibenu,” asking G-d to bring us back in repentance, we refer to the initial push and inspiration. We ask G-d to give

us those initial feelings, the desire to repent, acknowledging that the rest of the process is solely up to us. These two stages are reflected by the two stages of the Yamim Nora’im (High Holidays). In our Rosh Hashanah prayers, we do not mention anything about repentance and forgiveness. The Rosh Hashanah prayers focus on the theme of G-d’s kingship, and the fact that He judges the earth. Rosh Hashanah is the time when we develop the thoughts of Teshuba, by contemplating G-d’s rule over the universe. This is alluded to in the word “Rosh,” which means “head,” indicating that this is the time when we develop thoughts and feelings of repentance. The rest of this period, the Ten Days of Repentance and Yom Kippur, is when we take these thoughts and put them into practice, taking the time to pray for forgiveness and to think about how we can improve during the coming year. The message for us is that Teshuba requires hard work, but also requires prayer. We must pray that G-d inspire us to improve so we can then work to make the changes that need to be made. This is true all year round, but especially during the period of Yamim Nora’im. As part of our efforts to repent, we must beg the Almighty to do His part, to stir our hearts and give us the inspiration we need to perform complete Teshuba and turn ourselves into better people.

The Easiest Misva (Rabbi Eli Mansour)

Many of us find Teshuba to be a difficult, grueling process. We often feel too intimidated to even begin thinking about Teshuba and changing who we are. And yet, ironically enough, the Torah indicates that Teshuba is actually the easiest Misva. Last Shabbat, in Parashat Nisavim, we read, “For this Misva…is not too difficult for you, nor is it distant from you… It is very near to you, in your mouth and in your heart…” (Debarim 30:11-14). The Ramban (Rabbi Moshe Nahmanides, Spain, 1194-1270) explains these Pesukim as referring to the Misva of Teshuba. It is

WEEKLY INSPIRATION

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regarding this Misva that we are reassured that it is easy, that it is not difficult or distant, that it can be easily achieved. The Torah does not make this point about any other Misva. We are never told that it is easy to observe Shabbat or Pesah. Yet, specifically when it comes to Teshuba, to changing our characters, which seems to be the most difficult Misva of all, the Torah tells us that is easy. How could Teshuba be an easy Misva? To answer this question, we turn our attention to an esoteric comment of the Arizal (Rabbi Yishak Luria of Safed, 1534-1572) concerning the widespread custom to wear a Tallit on the night of Yom Kippur. It is generally customary to ensure to put on the Tallit before sundown, so that we are able to recite the Beracha over the Tallit. Since a Beracha is not recited when putting on Sisit at night, and we want to “cash in” on every possible Misva before Yom Kippur, we try to put on the Tallit before sundown so we can recite a Beracha. The Arizal, however, held differently. He writes – astonishingly enough – that one does not recite a Beracha over the Tallit worn on the night of Yom Kippur, even if he puts on the Tallit before sundown, because the Tallit does not belong to him. Even though he paid for the Tallit and he wears it every day, it is not his. On Yom Kippur, the Tallit belongs to the Almighty. How are we to understand this concept, that the Tallit on Yom Kippur actually belongs to G-d, and is not ours? Rabbi Shimshon Pincus (1944-2001) offers a beautiful explanation. G-d relates to us in many different ways. On some occasions, He relates to us as a mighty warrior, and at others as a loving father. Sometimes He acts as judge, and other times as a king. Forgive the expression, but we might say that G-d wears many hats, as it were, playing a wide range of different roles in our lives. On Yom Kippur, Rav Pincus says, G-d relates to us as a mother. More often than not, when a father is caring for an infant, he returns the infant to the mother as soon as the infant soils himself and his clothing and needs to be cleaned and changed. Fathers certainly enjoy coddling and spending time with their baby, but they rush to pass on the childcare responsibilities once there is filth involved.

Sin soils the soul. We cannot see the filth with our eyes, but the filth of sin exists, and the great Sadikim are able to sense it. On Yom Kippur, G-d comes to us as a loving, tender, caring mother to clean up our mess, to get rid of our sins and make us clean as new. We enter Yom Kippur like an infant that has just dirtied himself, and we emerge from Yom Kippur like an infant wrapped in his towel after his bath, fresh and clean. The Tallit, Rav Pincus says, symbolizes the “towel” in which G-d wraps us, like a mother wrapping her clean child. This is not our Tallit. After all, on Yom Kippur we are like infants, who own nothing. This is our “Mother’s” Tallit, the Tallit which G-d wraps us in as He cleanses our souls. The Sages describe Yom Kippur as one of the happiest days of the year. It is not a sad day; it is an exciting day, because becoming clean is exciting. We are transformed from a state of filth to a state of perfect cleanliness. And this is why Teshuba is so easy – because it is the only Misva we do with G-d nearby as a loving mother helping us. G-d comes to clean us. As the Mishna says, “Fortunate are you, Israel! Before whom you are purified, and who purifies you? Your Father in heaven!” Hashem cleans us on Yom Kippur, He holds our hand and leads us through the process of repentance, and this is what makes it easy. There is, however, one condition. A baby must cry out to his mother when he is dirty and needs to be cleaned. The mother won’t come unless she hears the infant’s desperate cries for help. And the same is true of us and our “Mother.” G-d comes to clean us only after He hears us crying for help. This means that at some point on Yom Kippur – and the earlier the better – we have to cry out desperately for G-d to come help us. We need to sincerely feel the discomfort of the accumulated filth on our souls, and to genuinely cry out to G-d to help us. He will then immediately come to clean us off like a mother devotedly tends to her child, and warmly wrap us in His Tallit, eliminating all our sins, leading us back to His service, and granting us complete forgiveness and the precious opportunity to begin the year with a perfectly clean slate.

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Teshuva Must Take Into Account the Root Cause of

Sin (Rabbi Frand from Torah.org)

In Parshat Vayelech, HaShem informs Moshe that after his death the nation would eventually come to worship idolatry: “…This people will rise up and go astray after the foreign gods of the land… They will abandon Me and nullify My Covenant that I have made with them…” [Devarim 31:16-17]. The Almighty further tells Moshe that at that point He will become angry with the Jewish people and abandon them such that terrible things will befall them. The Almighty adds “…so that they will say in that day: Are not these evils come upon us because our G-d is not among us?” His reaction to this “repentance” will be “And I will surely hide My Face (v’Anochi haster aster Pannai) from them on that day. This narrative bothers the commentaries. The Ramba”n asks: It would seem that the statement that the source of their terrible troubles is the fact that the L-rd is not in their midst should qualify as “regret” [charata] on their part, which is the first step toward repentance (teshuva). Why then, is G-d’s reaction one of “hester Panim” – hiding His Face from us? The Ramba”n answers that the “teshuva” of “…because our G-d is not among us” is merely “lip service” -insincere words. However, the Yeshuot Yakov suggests another answer. The Yeshuot Yakov points out that there is something fundamentally wrong with such a teshuva. When Klal Yisrael worshipped Avodah Zarah [idols], merely regretting that major offense was insufficient repentance. When a person sinks to the level that he is worshipping Avodah Zarah, it is more than just an overnight. Idolatry was the culmination of a long path full of sin, extending over a long time. When a person does Teshuva, he needs to not only look at the final result of his sins. He must ask himself what got him there in the first place. People do not just wake up one morning and decide, “I am going to worship Avodah Zarah today.” The only way to correct such an end result is to examine how and where it started.

Only through such a process will the sinner be on guard to prevent such a thing from happening again in the future. When, Heaven forbid, a husband is unfaithful to his wife and begins an affair with another woman, 99 percent of the time, it begins with something that is almost “innocent”. It begins with prolonged conversations, with flirtations, with things that are hardly even sinful. This is how it always starts. If a person wants to repent for the ultimate sin of unfaithfulness, he cannot merely say “Al chet shechatanu lefanech b’gilui arayos” [For the sin I have committed before you regarding sexual immorality]. He must to go back and look how it all started. He has to ask himself “How can I make sure that it will never happen again?” According to Yeshuot Yakov, that is the problem with the “repentance” of Klal Yisrael in this pasuk. They are repenting for having worshipped idols. However, that was only the end result of their backsliding. Where did it begin? Without coming to grips with that issue, the repentance of “Behold G-d is not in our midst” is woefully lacking. With this idea, we can understand a very difficult Gemara [Chulin 139b]. The Talmud asks, “Where is Esther alluded to in the Torah?” The Gemara cites the previously quoted pasuk from our parsha: “I shall surely hide (haster aster) My Face from them on that day.” [Devarim 31:18]. Phonetically, the words “haster aster” relate to the name Esther. What does this Gemara mean? The Gemara is referring to the fact that Esther told Mordechai that she was going to approach Achashverosh, but “fast for me, do not eat or drink for three days.” Our Rabbis tell us that the request to have the people fast was so that they may correct the fact that they ate inappropriately at the feast of Achashverosh. Technically, there was nothing wrong with the fact that they ate at that feast. Presumably, the food served was kosher. However, the Medrash says that their intermixing with the Persians during that meal caused them ultimately to become involved in sexual immorality with them. Chazal prohibited Bishul Akum [foot cooked by non-Jews] because when one socializes with people, he ends up marrying

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their daughters. That was exactly the situation that developed from participation in the royal feast. When Esther wanted to bring about teshuva for the terrible outcome of that meal, she knew that saying “no more sexual immorality” was insufficient. She had to attack the root of the problem – the eating at the meal. Therefore, to make “measure for measure” amends for that sin, she commanded, “do not eat or drink for three days”. Now we understand the Gemara in Chulin: Where is Esther alluded to in the Torah? In other words, where does the Torah allude to the idea demonstrated by Esther, that teshuva should not just focus on the result of the sin, but must focus on the cause of the sin? This is hinted at in the pasuk that says G-d will Hide his face (haster aster pannai) – because of the inadequate repentance which consisted merely of confession to the fact that “G-d is not in our midst,” rather that a repentance that analyzed the root of their problem which led to idolatry in the first place.

Moshe Gives Forewarning – He Doesn’t Want To Be Held

Responsible (Rabbi Frand from Torah.org)

Rav Ruderman, zt”l, (founding Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Israel) used to cite an incident from Vilna that gives insight to a pasuk in this week’s parsha. There was a beautiful place in Vilna where all the wealthy people made their weddings. It happened that a poor shoemaker suddenly obtained a large sum of money. He decided that he too wanted to make the wedding of his daughter in this fancy place. One of the old-time wealthy individuals took great umbrage at the fact that this newly rich individual was making a wedding in the place classically reserved for Vilna’s financially elite Jews. (“This schnorer is going to make a wedding in the same place where I married off my daughter? The nerve of him!”)

At the wedding, as the shoemaker was walking his daughter down the aisle to the Chuppah, this wealthy person took off his shoe and showed the shoemaker the hole in the bottom of the sole of the shoe. He asked, “How much does it cost to patch this hole?” (He wanted to rub it into the shoemaker’s face that he was still only a shoemaker and that he should not act like he was equal to the wealthy people in town.) When Rav Yisrael Salanter (founder of the Mussar movement) heard about this incident, he said that the teachers of this Jew who humiliated the shoemaker – even if they were in the Garden of Eden already – would now have to atone for the fact that they had such a despicable student and give full accounting in Heaven for the inferior Torah education they gave this uncouth Jew. Rav Ruderman used to say that this comment of Rav Yisrael Salanter is alluded to in what Moshe Rabbeinu is saying in this week’s parsha: “For I know that after my death you will deal corruptly and turn aside from the way which I have commanded you…” [Devarim 31:29] What is the point of Moshe making this comment? Moshe is saying this to proclaim ahead of time: Although they will stray from the correct path, it is not my fault! I tried to teach them better than they are acting. I did everything I could do for forty years. I tried to chastise them and teach them not to behave like this. Master of the Universe, do not hold me accountable for their actions. What more could I have done?

Yom Kippur - Confession and

Redemption

(Rabbi Zev Leff) Beset by many evils and troubles, the will say, "It is because Hashem is no longer with me that these evil things have befallen me." On that day I will utterly hide My face because of all the evil that they have done... (Devarim 31:17-18). Rambam says that this admission of guilt and regret is still not a full confession, and therefore

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Hashem continues to hide His face. But the hiding is different: no longer is it a hiding of Hashem's mercy, allowing evil to befall them, but rather a hiding of the ultimate redemption. That change in Hashem's relationship contains a hint to their ultimate redemption when their repentance is complete. To better understand this Rambam, we must first understand the function of verbal confession in the teshuvah process. Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah 363) offers two explanations of the benefit of verbal confession. First, verbalizing one's repentance creates the feeling of conversing with a second party, which, in turn, sensitizes a person to the reality of Hashem's presence, Hashem's awareness of his every deed, and the need to render an account before Hashem. The greater a person's awareness that his sin was one in Hashem's presence, with His full knowledge, the greater His shame and regret. Secondly, verbal expression intensifies the process and leaves a more lasting effect. In addition to regret over the past, teshuvah also requires a commitment not to repeat the sin again. That commitment must be so decisive, resolute, and firm that Hashem Himself can testify that at the moment of confession, the sinner does not contemplate ever committing that sin again. Just as a vow to do or not to do something in the future requires verbal expression, so, too, does the commitment not to repeat past sins. Sefer Yereim specifies another dimension to verbal confession -- supplication for atonement. There must be a clear recognition of the seriousness of the damage caused by the sin, both in terms of the damage to one's soul and one's relationship to Hashem, and in terms of the effect on the world by closing the conduits of blessing. For this, one must entreat G-d to forgive, heal and repair the damage. Just as prayer and supplication must be verbalized to establish a feeling of communication, so, too must one's entreaty for atonement. There is yet another aspect of confession that relates to the nature of sin itself. Sin, says the Maharal, is one neshamah of the Jew. It cannot blemish the neshamah itself. Rather it

superimposes layers of impurity that separate one from his essence. Since the Jew's connection to Hashem is through that untainted essence, when he becomes distant from his essence, he also becomes estranged from Hashem. Teshuvah, then, is the return of the Jew to his essence and the breakdown of the barriers that separate him from Hashem. Hashem does not leave the Jew when he sins; rather the Jew loses contact with Hashem, Who still resides within the essence of his soul. As Chazal say on the verse, "I am asleep, but my heart is awake" (Shir HaShirim 5:2), my heart refers to Hashem. Though the Jew sleeps and loses consciousness of Hashem, Hashem still occupies his heart. By articulating his sin in vidui, the Jew makes it something external to himself. Then he is able to detach those layers of sin that have accreted on his neshamah. Vidui itself becomes an act of purification. Thus, Targum Yonasan translates the word "purify" in the verse "Before Hashem should you purify yourself" (Vayikra 16:30), as "confess." The confession is itself the act of purification. It is this last aspect of full vidui which is lacking in the confession, "Because G-d is not with me, all these misfortunes have befallen me." Although this statement expresses regret, recognition of the devastation resulting from sin, and even hints to a commitment to avoid this state in the future, it is still lacking. There is no recognition that it is not G-d Who has deserted us, but we who have become detached from ourselves and therefore from Hashem. When a Jew feels Hashem has abandoned him, says Sforno, he gives up hope, since he thinks that it is G-d Who must first return. But in truth it is man who has strayed from his essence, and he can find G-d where he originally left Him. Teshuvah is thus literally redemption: "Return to Me for I have redeemed you" (Yeshayahu 44:22). One redeems his untainted essence from the layers of sin and impurity that encrust it. As long as we fail to comprehend this aspect of redemption, G-d continues to hide the face of

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redemption from us. When we appreciate all the aspects of vidui, including that recognition that Hashem remains where He always was, waiting for us to strip away the barriers, we can look forward to both personal and national redemption. Reprinted with permission from Artscroll Mesorah Publications, ltd. This article is provided as part of Shema Yisrael Torah Network Permission is granted to redistribute electronically or on paper, provided that this notice is included intact. For information on subscriptions, archives, and other Shema Yisrael Classes, send mail to parsha@shemayisrael.co.il

How to Get the Most Out of Yom Kippur

The three R’s of Repentance. (By Slovie Jungreis-Wolff) The High Holy Day period are gifted to us to take stock of our lives. We are granted time so that when our verdict is sealed on Yom Kippur, our prayers can be accepted. We remember our essence and rediscover what lies within. This opportunity of teshuva, repentance, is a miracle. Think about it. The other day my dry cleaners returned a white blouse with a note attached. “We are sorry but as hard as we tried, we could not remove these stains. They are permanent.” Yet in the world of teshuva we rise above nature where no stain is permanent. No matter how far we’ve fallen, we can always come back and undo the damage. How can we make the most of these days? The three R’s of Repentance 1. Regret The first step to change is feeling the need to make a transformation. This comes about through remorse. Feeling badly for the lapses, the pain we have caused others, and the times we could’ve done better. Truly looking at ourselves in a spiritual mirror and saying, "Enough! I don’t want to do this anymore." What prevents us from feeling true regret?

We rationalize. We excuse our behavior by finding valid reasons for our actions. “I know I shouldn’t have said that but my husband/wife/mother in law/boss/kids….” “I really shouldn’t be doing this, but everyone does it.” You are the captain of your ship. Your actions and reactions are up to you. You define your destiny. We blame others for our shortcomings. We cast the responsibility on everyone but ourselves. It's easier to think that others are at fault than confronting reality. It's also easy to get stuck in the past and fall into dysfunctional patterns. In order to move forward we need to realize: You are the captain of your ship. Your actions and reactions are up to you. You define your destiny. We are all created with a Divine spark of holiness and capable of greatness. It doesn't matter who you are, your level of Jewish education, who you were born to. All that counts is that you get in touch once again with your inner light. It is not about giving huge donations or saving a village. You can make a spouse feel loved through expressing gratitude. You can make a difference in a child’s life with patience instead of blowing up. You can prevent harm by holding back from sending an embarrassing text or WhatsApp. You can touch another person with an encouraging word. Regret the times you’ve caused hurt. Determine to become the person you were meant to be instead of stagnating. Reconnect to your infinite light. 2. Recite These 10 days of teshuva provide us with prayers that can propel us toward our goal. Said with a full heart, these prayers open up the gates of forgiveness, repentance and atonement. We recite the prayer of Avinu Malkeinu – Our Father, Our King, each day. We ask G-d for the gift of life. Not because we want to spend our days in trivial pursuits, but we know that we can live a life filled with purpose.

Food for thought

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We recognize that we’ve messed up and ask for compassion. On Yom Kippur, we recite the Vidduy Confession, going through in alphabetical order the various mistakes we’ve made throughout the year. To be most effective it’s a good idea to take time and contemplate the words before we say them. Think about your relationship with G-d as well as your relationship with the people in your lives. The confession steers us towards pondering our thoughts, deeds and words. We are asked to use our gift of speech to confront ourselves. Words create a reality. Beyond thoughts, we are uttering the truth and facing the stark actuality of what we have done. 3. Resolve Real repentance is only complete with resolution for the future. It is not enough to regret our wrongs and then recite prayers and confession for our failings. What we must do now is think about how to actually become new beings by not repeating the mistakes of the past. If we are judgmental, how can we learn to give people the benefit of the doubt? Realizing that we have neglected our Judaism and cast aside mitzvot, how can we reconnect? Which character trait do we wish to work on? How can we set up a steady time, even if it’s for a few minutes a day, to study Torah? It is not the big things that G-d is seeking from us. Every single little action makes an impact. Think of a doable plan and commit to implementing it. Taking the step towards thinking about a strategy for transformation shows that we are serious. We want to make a change. Thinking about the future is the glue that keeps our teshuva together. Let us be brave during this time period. If we can decide how we will conquer one-character trait, grow in one mitzvah, reach out to one person with whom we do not have peace, then we have experienced the triumph of these days.

Neuroplasticity, Yom Kippur and Real Change

Jewish principles for change have been corroborated by recent discoveries in brain science. (By Sara Yoheved Rigler)

Can people really change? Throughout centuries when ancient cultures believed in fatalism and modern cultures believed that who you are is determined by genes and environment, Judaism has propounded the radical notion that human beings have free will in the moral sphere; they can change if they want to. I am an example of such change on the macro level. I went from being a radical leftist member of S.D.S. and a monastic member of a Hindu ashram for 15 years to being an Orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem and supporting the Zionist parties that my former leftist friends demonize. I've changed on the macro level, but could I go from being competitive to cooperative, hellbent to helpful, selfish to generous? But what about change on the micro level? Could I go from being a short-tempered, anger-prone person to be a calm, restrained person who would rather befriend her opponent than decimate him? Could I go from being competitive to cooperative, from being hellbent to helpful, from being selfish to generous, from being cantankerous to kind? Come Yom Kippur, it is those changes that count. The good news is that Judaism insists that you CAN change. The bad news is that it takes a long period of consistent, small efforts. Amazingly, both these principles have been corroborated by the latest discoveries in brain science. Neuroscience has discovered that the brain is “plastic,” which means that it changes every day, in fact with every thought. Neuroplasticity is the term that refers to the ability of the brain to change continuously throughout an individual's life. Norman Doidge, M.D., a neuroscientist at Columbia University, asserts in his book, The Brain that Changes Itself, that brain plasticity exists from the cradle to the grave.

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This is the scientific corroboration of the ability of a human being to do teshuva, to change one's life around. Thoughts take place in the neurons of our brain. The brain consists of 100 billion neurons. A neuron consists of three parts: the dendrites, which look like treelike branches, the cell body, and the axon, a cable that carries electrical impulses toward the dendrites of neighboring neurons. Every time you repeat a thought, the dendrites of the neurons associated with that thought grow. When you stop thinking a habitual thought, the dendrites shrivel up and disappear. “Practicing a new skill, under the right conditions,” writes Dr. Doidge, “can change hundreds of millions and possibly billions of the connections between the nerve cells in our brain maps.” Let’s say that during this season of teshuva you decide that you are going to stop hurting other people with sharp, insulting, or sarcastic words. This ingrained bad habit of yours is ensconced in a well-worn path in your brain map. Someone says something that ticks you off, and you automatically reply with a nasty retort. Can you really change? According to Dr. Doidge, one of the key principles of neuroplasticity is: “Use it or lose it.” In grade school we all knew the multiplication tables. Years later, if we pull out a calculator every time, we have to multiply numbers, the multiplication tables can actually disappear from our brains. In my twenties, I worked in an orphanage in Calcutta; I spoke, read, and wrote Bengali. Recently I passed a group of Bengali tourists in my neighborhood in the Old City of Jerusalem. I wanted to impress them with my knowledge of their language, but all I could remember was a feeble, “Namaskar.” “Use it or lose it” actually explains our ability to do teshuva and change. According to the Mussar Masters of the last two centuries, if you want to stop hurting other people with words, you must devise a program where, starting with just 15 minutes a day, you actively refrain from saying anything hurtful. After a couple of weeks, you extend the period to 30 minutes, then gradually to 45 minutes, then to an hour.

You can use your cellphone alarm to remind you when your “no hurtful words” period starts and when it ends. That you can, by an act of will, resist a lifelong habit even once out of every three occasions is significant. A batting average of .333 makes you a champion. What is going on in your brain during that period? Every time you refrain from treading the well-worn path of hurtful words in your brain, the dendrites of the neurons associated with that path shrink. “Use it or lose it.” Eventually as your designated time period to be vigilant expands, your brain map actually changes. Teshuva occurs one thought at a time. You may think that refraining from hurtful words once a day is worthless if you make cutting remarks two times later in the day. But every thought has an effect of either growing or shrinking the dendrites. That you can, by an act of will, resist a lifelong habit even once out of every three occasions is significant. A batting average of .333 makes you a champion. This leads us to another Mussar method corroborated by neuroscience. The Mussar Masters teach the importance of making a chart. Every time you do the exercise you have chosen; you give yourself a check on the chart. When you have earned a certain number of checks (decided by you), you go out and “reward the body.” This can mean chocolate, a dinner in a gourmet restaurant, a new garment, a massage, a new high-tech gadget, or something else on which you would not normally spend that much money. Rewarding yourself solidifies the change. For example, let’s say you have a co-worker who presses your buttons and your default response is to answer with a sarcastic, cutting remark. Now you are doing teshuva. You set your cellphone alarm. From 10:00 to 10:15 AM, you will not let any hurtful words escape your lips. You succeed, and at 10:15 you give yourself a check on your chart, feeling like a mini hero. When you get ten checks, you go to the store you pass every day on your way to work and buy the item in the window that you’ve been wanting but didn’t buy because

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you felt like it was an indulgence. You look at it and glow. I have personally experienced how the method of small, daily exercises can lead to fundamental behavior changes over time. The only part of the method that perplexed me was “rewarding the body.” Here I was engaged in an exalted spiritual practice and I when I succeeded, I should go out and buy myself a box of Belgian chocolates? Only when I read The Brain that Changes Itself did I realize the genius of the practice. Dr. Norman Doidge explains that a second basic principle of neuroplasticity is: “Neurons that fire together wire together.” Dr. Doidge tells about experiments done with children with major language processing problems. They worked on a computer program to actually change their brains. When the child achieved a goal, something funny would happen: the character in the animation would eat the answer, get a funny look on his face, etc. Dr. Doidge writes: “This reward is a crucial feature of the program, because each time the child is rewarded, his brain secretes such neurotransmitters as dopamine and acetylcholine, which help consolidate the map changes he has just made. (Dopamine reinforces the reward, and acetylcholine helps the brain ‘tune in’ and sharpen memories.)” Whereas it used to make you feel good to make a wisecrack at your co-worker’s expense, now you feel good by refraining from the wisecrack. In other words, if you are about to make a cutting remark to your co-worker and you stop yourself, you give yourself a check on the chart. The brain registers this as a pat on the back and secretes neurotransmitters such as dopamine and acetylcholine. You feel good about what you just did (refraining from hurtful words), and “neurons that fire together wire together.” Next time you are about to make a hurtful quip, you will associate the act of refraining with pleasure. Whereas it used to make you feel good to make a wisecrack at your co-worker’s expense, now you feel good by refraining from the wisecrack. After you get, say, twenty checks, you go out and buy yourself that new gadget you have earned.

Every time you use the new gadget, you feel happy. “Neurons that fire together wire together.” You have rewired your brain. Now you associate refraining from hurtful words with happiness. This is lasting teshuva. It’s too close to Yom Kippur for you to make any significant changes in your brain or your behavior. But you can decide the one or two changes you want to make in your life and start with the program outlined above: specific, small steps on a daily basis, charting, and rewarding the body. It’s important to join a group of similarly aspiring Jews in one of the many local or online programs. The support of an ongoing group is essential for lasting change. Commit to sticking with the program at least till Chanukah. On Yom Kippur, tell G-d: “I’ve just started to develop this muscle, but I did join the gym. And I’m going to do my spiritual workout every day.” And mean it.

Recommitting to My Marriage, This New Year

The High Holidays are an opportunity to go all in. (By Marshall Roth)

This new year I'm recommitting to my marriage. Don't get me wrong. My wife and I have been happily married for years. But I recently became more aware of areas where I was holding back, vacillating between being emotionally "in" or "out."

• My wife has a rather obnoxious friend whom I can't stand. My wife loves to talk enthusiastically about her and expects me to listen again and again. How much am I expected to endure?

• If my wife is not feeling well, she expects (and deserves) a massive outpouring of compassion. Yet given her high frequency of "not feeling well," isn't there a limit?

• When we have a disagreement, I'm willing to admit fault 80 percent of the time. But that's not enough! Having to

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give in again and again even when I think I’m right feels unfair.

It was clear that my resentments were creating distance and insidiously undermining the bond of our marriage. There were times I was holding back from going all in, preferring to keep some space between us. The Marriage Dynamic The goal of marriage is to connect so closely as to create a single entity. Where is no separate sensation of "me"; there is only "we." Where "your success is my success." Every human is imperfect and forgiving – even embracing – another's imperfections is the only way to fully connect. When things don't go exactly as I like, that's where the rubber hits the road: Will I become resentful, angry and frustrated, or will I instead take a deep breath, recommit 100% to the relationship, and ask: What is the message for me? This is the great marital ying and yang. My wife is my mirror, reflecting the precise point that I need to change. The Zohar (Lech Lecha 91b) writes that every soul is essentially a male and female aspect joined together. When the soul descends into the world, these two parts become separated. Upon marriage, these two "half-souls" reunite as one, reconnecting that original unit. This is a paradigm shift, where marriage is the primary vehicle for personal growth. Rather than an obstacle to my happiness, all this challenging "corrective work" is a source of immense pleasure. My "unreasonable" expressions of commitment and selfless love add layers of commitment to the deepest human relationship. Spiritual Metaphor In the biblical Song of Songs, "passionate, devoted marriage" is a metaphor, a microcosm of a yearning for the ultimate connection to the vast beyond, to be part of the G-d's vast, eternal plan. As with any intense relationship, the same rule of commitment applies: G-d is my mirror. Rabbi Noah Weinberg zt"l writes:

Everything that happens to us in this world is for one reason and one reason alone: to get closer to the Almighty, to feel that "I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me." Everything G-d does is for our good; it is an expression of His love. Every judgment He renders – whether a windfall or a bankruptcy – is exactly what we need to grow closer to Him. Ani l'dodi, if you love the Almighty and appreciate that He is your father, then v'dodi li, you will see that the Almighty loves you and that everything He does is for your good. But [similar to a parent who cares passionately for the child], if you don't appreciate what G-d has done for you and instead have complaints, you will mistakenly think He does not love you. Yet, as much as we've felt G-d's intense love and closeness, we crave some distance.

• When someone is hassling me – a neighbor, relative, or colleague – it's easier to ignore them and hope they disappear.

• When I'm unfocused, I drift into the comfort of social media. The doses of dopamine are short-term distractions – self-medicating denial of reality.

• When I'm frustrated that things don't always go smoothly, rather than confront and analyze the problem, I find it easier to blame and complain.

But "easier" is often not "better." Just as a track coach raises the bar to elicit growth and excellence, so too every challenge is for our ultimate benefit. It's nothing less than cosmic destiny, calling us forward. High Holidays The High Holidays are a great time to take stock of our primary relationships. “Elul,” the lead-up month to the High Holidays, is spelled aleph-lamed-vav-lamed, an acronym for "Ani l'dodi v'dodi li – I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me” (Song of Songs 6:3). We blow the shofar in to reconnect and recommit: G-d is my mirror. Am I in or out? It's time to get off the fence. To take full responsibility with no excuses.

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The Maharal writes that shana (year) is related to shinui (change). Now is the time to ask:

• In what situations and circumstances do I tend to create distance instead of connection?

• Over the next year, what practical, single step will make a significant difference in gaining me greater connection?

Here is my new year's resolution: When confronted with situations that test my patience, I will refocus, calmly embrace the moment, and embrace this opportunity to more deeply commit and connect. This year, I pledge to get off the fence. I'd rather be "all in."

3 Ways to Give Your Family a Spiritual Makeover

The High Holidays are an ideal time to strengthen the spiritual well-being of your home. (By Slovie Jungreis-Wolff) The High Holidays are an ideal time for us to think about the spiritual foundation we are building for our homes. It’s never too late to rethink our goals and figure out the best way to reach them. Where can we put our energy as we contemplate our family’s spiritual direction? 1. Create a Plan Years can go by before we realize that while we have renovated our home, updated appliances, and put thought into schools and camps, we have not contemplated our family’s sacred path. Just as children grow physically and require nurturing, so too do their souls require nourishment. When we get by with the ‘same old same old’, children grow uninspired. Judaism is rich with wisdom, traditions, daily mitzvot and joyous holidays; this is our awesome heritage. Our goal is to imbue our children with a clear identity and immerse them with Jewish ethics

and pride. What is the best way for us to reach our destination? Here are some questions for us to ask ourselves:

• Has our Judaism grown along with our children?

• How can we engage our children to love their Jewish identity?

• Do we rely mainly on others (teachers, schools, religious leaders) to give our children their spiritual education and connection?

• Do we involve our children in rituals, traditions and holidays?

• Do I celebrate my Judaism, or do I seem resentful/indifferent when it comes time for prayer, daily commandments, synagogue, Torah study and Shabbat or holidays?

• Do my children see me study, care for my fellow Jews and for the land of Israel? Do they observe me upgrading my Jewish knowledge? (Some parents think that only children should study and grow; adults are past the age of learning. This is untrue. All of us, no matter our age or background have an obligation to study Torah’s wisdom.) Parenting is as much about my child’s journey as my own.

• Do my children think that if there is inconvenience, we allow our Judaism to take a back seat?

Once I focus on where I need to improve, I can create a plan that will communicate a stronger spiritual bond. What can I do today to help introduce a more positive Jewish experience? The challenge is to find the courage to stick with the plan so that there is real change. Determine the path you desire, set clear goals, and think about how you will deal with obstacles and disappointments. 2. Embrace Traditions with Joy We want to raise children who are connected to G-d in real, everyday life. Traditions and rituals are the key. From the moment we wake up in

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the morning to our last moments before falling asleep, Judaism guides us. The Shema prayer, blessings over food, clothing and new experiences, the Shabbat table, lighting the Chanukah menorah, Seder night, the blowing of the shofar, sitting under the stars in the Sukkah, are all incredible opportunities for us to create a legacy for the next generation. The first step is gaining the knowledge and discovering how to maximize these beautiful rituals. Next, it is important to embrace the mitzvot with joy. When children associate traditions with joy they acquire a love for their Judaism. Too many children have become turned off when they witness parents treating mitzvot with apathy and disinterest. Mitzvot and rituals are crucial to our children’s spiritual identity. They learn a sense of community, continuity, security and love. They become anchored in our beliefs and draw upon their heritage to stay fortified in a world that challenges our values. Our children also come to learn the Jewish concept of elevating time and things. Friday night metamorphoses into Shabbos. Waking up becomes a moment of gratitude with the Modeh Ani prayer. Shema allows us to reaffirm our faith before we fall asleep. A doorpost is encased with a mezuzah. Eating ice cream becomes an opportunity for blessing. Dollars are transformed into tzedakah. A home becomes a mini sanctuary. We can fill our children’s lives with passion for all that is sacred. We can teach our sons and daughters how to elevate the mundane into the holy. But we must wholeheartedly embrace our Judaism and all its traditions if we want the connection to endure. Make Meaningful Memories When I ask parents to think about their happiest childhood memories, no one ever remembers things or great gifts that they received as a child. It is always recollections of visits to grandparents, bike rides with cousins, or family vacations that warm our hearts. Our children require time together. Be sure to be both physically and emotionally present when you celebrate Judaism with your family. This means

that we try to communicate at our Shabbos table and don’t fall into moodiness or tired silence. We don’t transmit legacy through long speeches or harsh discipline. Spirituality can only be conveyed through love and true-life role modeling. Hypocrisy turns children away. Bar and Bat Mitzvahs should be more than a night of impressive décor and partying. Children should understand that this is the beginning of Jewish life and not the end. This is a perfect moment to engage children and teach them about their obligations to help bring healing into the world by doing a ‘chesed’ project in honor of their special day. The key to our survival is the spiritual strength of our homes. Stories are a powerful vehicle for us to teach our children about the greatness of the Jewish nation. When my children were small, instead of reading them fairy tale books I would tell them about the giants of our people. The courage of King David, the compassion of Moses, the tambourine of Miriam and the wisdom of King Solomon embedded in my children a wonder for their past. When they’d have a Shabbos sleepover my mother would imbue them with tales of triumph of the spirit. I’d watch their souls being nourished. This mother’s milk of faith remains deep within their hearts until today. There are myriads of books, cds and beautiful Jewish music both English and Hebrew that can transmit a warm and spiritual environment in our homes. Retelling the stories of our people forges a spiritual identity and creates strong roots. It is important for us to find ways to spend enjoyable time together so that our children conjure childhood memories with positive Jewish experiences. The key to our survival is the spiritual strength of our homes. Judaism invites us to embrace the Torah and its commandments, discover the power of prayer, create light in a world of darkness and live emboldened with faith. The High Holidays are coming. Now is the time to reinforce our spiritual foundation and give our children strong roots to endure.

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Halachot of Kippur (Daily Halacha)

Should Children Fast on Yom Kippur?

The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 616:2) rules that children under the age of 9 should not fast at all on Yom Kippur. Below age 9, according to Maran, there is no concept of Hinuch (training in Misvot) with regard to fasting on Yom Kippur, and thus these children should be fed on Yom Kippur just as they are on any other day of the year. Once a child reaches age 9, the Shulhan Aruch then writes, he or she should be trained to fast for a brief period of time. For example, if a child normally eats breakfast at 8am, on Yom Kippur he should be fed around an hour later, at 9am, so he begins training to fast on Yom Kippur. If the child is weak and it is important for him or her to eat at the regular time, the Shulhan Aruch adds, then the training should begin a year later, when the child is ready. The Shulhan Aruch then rules that once a boy or girl reaches the age of 11, he or she is required Mi’de’rabbanan (on the level of Rabbinic enactment) to observe the Yom Kippur fast and fast the entire day. (Ashkenazim follow a more lenient view, and maintain that youngsters should begin observing the full fast later.) However, Hacham Ovadia Yosef, in his Hazon Ovadia – Laws of Yom Kippur (p .340; listen to audio recording for precise citation), writes that Maran’s ruling does not apply nowadays, because of the weak condition of our generation in relation to past generations. Children today are not as physically capable of fasting as the children in earlier generations, and they therefore should not complete the fast until the age of Bar Misva or Bat Misva. Hacham Ovadia rules that boys at age 12 and girls at age 11 should fast until midday (as defined by Halacha), or approximately 1pm, but then the parents should force them to eat. Unfortunately, there have been incidents of children who insisted on fasting the entire day, or who told their parents they ate when in reality they did not, and ended up becoming ill, Heaven forbid. Parents should therefore see to it that their children are fed on Yom Kippur, and, as mentioned, even 12-year-old boys and 11-year-old girls should eat at midday. Hacham Ovadia applies to this issue the adage,

“Al Tehi Sadik Harbeh” – “Do not be exceedingly pious.” There is no value in endangering children’s health for the sake of training them to fast. Even once a child reaches the age of Misva obligation (13 years for a boy, 12 for a girl), the parents must ensure that the child is strong enough to observe the fast. Hacham Ovadia writes that if there is even the slightest question concerning a child’s ability to fast without endangering his or her health, a physician should be consulted. Should children be trained not to wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur, or are they allowed to wear leather shoes? According to the strict Halacha, children are permitted to wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur, however, given the availability of comfortable non-leather shoes nowadays, children should be trained to wear specifically non-leather shoes, already from a young age. With regard to bathing, Halacha permits washing infants and applying oil to their skin on Yom Kippur, but it is customary to be stringent in this regard. Certainly, if a child is dirty, he may and should be washed, and if an infant has a particular need to be bathed or to have oil applied, this is permissible. Under ordinary circumstances, however, children should not be bathed or have oil applied on Yom Kippur. Summary: Children below the age of 9 should not fast at all on Yom Kippur. Children from age 9 should be fed an hour or so later than usual in the morning, assuming they are healthy and strong. At the age of a 12 for a boy or 11 for a girl, the child should fast until midday and must then be fed. Children should be trained to wear non-leather shoes on Yom Kippur already at a young age, and should also not be bathed, unless this is necessary due to dirt or because of health considerations.

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Daily halacha

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(from Torah Tots) STANDING ROOM ONLY 10 Moses commanded them, saying, "At the end of seven years, at the time of the Sabbatical year, during the Sukkot festival, 11 When all Israel comes to appear before Hashem, your G-d, in the place that He will choose, you shall read this Torah before all Israel, in their ears, 12 Gather together the people - the men, the women, and the small children, and your stranger who is in your cities -'so that they will hear and so that they will learn, and they shall fear Hashem, your G-d, and be careful to perform all the words of this Torah. (Devarim, Deuteronomy 31: 10-12) Moshe introduces one of the last commandments in the Torah, the Mitzvah of Hakheil, (literally - gathering) - the gathering of the entire Jewish people. In Vayikra, Leviticus (25:1-7), we read about how Eretz Yisrael is governed by a seven-year agricultural cycle. During the seventh year, the Shmita (Sabbatical) year, no work may be done in the fields. The time that would otherwise be devoted to material concerns, are dedicated to Torah study and spiritual development. At the conclusion of this period, the entire Jewish people assembled in Yerushalayim, (Jerusalem), "the place which Hashem chose," during the Sukkot Yom Tov (holiday). On the first day of Chol Hamoed (the Intermediate Days of the Yom Tov), the Kohanim (priests) urged the people to gather in the Bet Hamikdash (Holy Temple). Tosefta Sotah (7:8) relates how Hakheil was announced by trumpet blasts: "On that day, the Kohanim stood at all the closed and open places [of Yerushalayim] with golden shofars in their hands. They sounded the shofars repeatedly." A high wooden platform was constructed in the Ezrat Nashim (Women's Courtyard - the outer courtyard of the Bet Hamikdash) upon which the king read selected inspirational portions of Devarim, (Deuteronomy)* to the people. At the conclusion of the reading, he recited seven blessings**, praising Hashem for causing His presence to dwell in Eretz Yisrael. [*The king read from the beginning of Devarim to the end of the first paragraph of the Sh'ma (6:9), the second paragraph of the Sh'ma (11:13-21), and 14:22 to 28:69. (Talmud Sotah 41a). These passages are all on the

general subject of allegiance to Hashem, the covenant, and reward and punishment. As you can imagine, this was a deeply moving event for Klal Yisrael.] [**The seven blessings are: 1) R'tzay / Accept favorably... 2) Modim Anachnu /We bow... 3) Ata B'Chartanu / You chose us from all the nations... 4) A blessing for the continued existence of the Bet Hamikdash, ending Hashochain B'Tzion /He who dwells in Tzion 5) A blessing for the continuation of the kingship 6) A blessing that Hashem accept the service of the Kohanim favorably 7) The king's own tefilla, ending Boruch Shomaya Tefilla / Blessed be He who listens to prayers.] During Shmita, the Sabbatical year, Bnei Yisrael had dedicated the major portion of their energies to Torah study. Then, from Rosh Hashana to Sukkot, they were preoccupied with the festive season and the service associated with it. After the Sukkot holiday, they returned to their homes and their worldly pursuits. The Hakheil gathering served as a climax for these efforts, and provided inspiration for the following years. At the Hakheil gathering, the Kohanim brought the Torah scroll to the Kohain Gadol (High Priest), who presented it to the king as he stood. The participation of these two individuals conveyed an important lesson. There are three crowns: the crown of royalty, the crown of Kehuna (priesthood), and the crown of Torah. In the Hakheil experience, both the Kohain Gadol and the king demonstrate that the Torah is supreme, above the other crowns. Talmud Chagigah (3a) relates: "The Men" - Why did they come? "To learn." "The Women" - Why did they come? "To hear." "The Children" - Why did they come? "To give reward to those who brought them." Intellectually, the people responded to the Hakheil experience in different ways, as indicated by this Talmudic passage. However, regardless of these differences, the gathering left a powerful emotional impact on all the participants. In Hilchot Chagigah (3:7), the Rambam writes: "[This experience] was ordained by the Torah to strengthen true faith. Each individual felt as if he was just commanded to observe it by Hashem [Himself]."

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The Torah specifically obligates women to take part in this Mitzvah: Although women are generally exempt from performing Mitzvot associated with a specific time, an exception was made in this instance. The inspiring effect of Hakheil was necessary for women, too. The commentaries note the importance of the children's participation. Tosafot (Chagigah ibid) comments that the mitzva of Hakheil is the Biblical source for our bringing even young children to the Synagogue. (provided that they are not soiled and do not disturb the service). Minchah Gedolah relates that children told each other: "I remember when my father took me to Yerushalayim. We joined the huge crowd in the Bet Hamikdash and the king read the Torah to us." Such an experience certainly motivated children to "learn to be in awe of Hashem." At what age did the children participate in Hakheil? Ramban notes that infants were not required to participate. A child was not obligated to attend until he could understand and learn from the experience. The Maharsha does not accept this view. He maintains that if it was physically possible for a child to participate, he was required to attend. Even if no cognitive impression would remain, the experience would subconsciously shape his character and spur him to greater Torah practice. Both perspectives are relevant in educating our children, though one has generally prevailed. On one hand, Sefer Chasidim sternly warns against bringing children to the synagogue lest they disturb the worship of the adults. Nevertheless, it has always been customary to bring children to synagogue as soon as they are capable of maintaining decorum. The impressions created by these early experiences play a major role in the development of the child's Jewish commitment. The Talmud relates that the mother of one of the Mishnaic Sages (Rabbi Yehoshua) used to bring his cradle to the study hall, so that he could absorb the sounds of Torah study from infancy. In modern times, it has become

acknowledged that the time to inculcate values in children is from their earliest youth, and especially by the example of parents and others who sincerely strive for the ideals they preach. Thus, for bringing their children to Hakheil, parents deserved to be rewarded, for they demonstrated that the Torah is precious to them. The Netivot in his sefer on Chumash, Nachalat Yaakov, is puzzled by the Talmud Chagigah's unusual answer - that the reason for bringing small children to the Bet Hamikdash for Hakheil is "To give reward to those who brought them." He asks: If all the adults must be in the Bet Hamikdash for the mitzva of Hakheil, where will all the children be? Should you leave them at home alone and unsupervised'? Hakheil is not like the yearly Purim reading of Megillat Esther, where the mother and father can go to shul in two shifts so there is always someone to watch the children. There is only one reading of Hakheil, and everyone has to be there. So you have to bring the children anyway. Why is there such a great reward for doing something that we have to do anyway? The Nesivot answers that the Talmud is telling us that when there is something you have to do anyway in order to fulfill a mitzva, that deed itself is a mitzva. Though bringing the children is necessary, Hashem is telling us that if we need to do it anyway, then it becomes an essential part of our own Avodat Hashem, and the Torah tells us that we will be rewarded for doing it. Similarly, says the Anaf Yosaif, the Talmud cited above shows Hashem's love for the Jewish people. Hashem converted the necessity into a "mitzva"; that is, if parents brought the children l'shaim shamayim - because He so commanded, they would gain extra reward. Source: Meam Loez, The Torah Anthology

Kid’z Korner (Revach)

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Rav Shimon Schwab - Why Did Yehoshua Rebuff Moshe Rabbeinu And Keep It A Secret? On the day Moshe Rabbeinu was supposed to pass on from this world, he cried to Hashem and said, "Let Yehoshua take my leadership, but let me remain alive." Hashem agreed and said, "Now go to Yehoshua and act like he does to you." Moshe ran to Yehoshua's house and Yehoshua became frightened. "Rebbi, come with me," said Moshe. When they came to the Ohel Moed the cloud of the Shechina descended on Yehoshua and Moshe was left outside. When the cloud lifted, Moshe asked Yehoshua to tell him what Hashem had said. Yehoshua replied, "When Hashem appeared to you, did I know what you spoke about?" Moshe screamed, "Let me die one thousand deaths and not have an ounce of jealousy." (Medrash Devarim Rabba 9:9) Moshe preferred to die rather then be jealous, but why didn't Yehoshua want to tell Moshe what Hashem said? Rav Shimon Schwab answers with a Rashi in Vayeilech (31:7). Moshe told Yehoshua, "Ki Ata Tavo Et Ha'Am HaZeh," which the gGemara Sanhedrin (8a) explains that Moshe told Yehoshua to lead Bne Yisrael together with the Zikeinim. However, Hashem disagreed, as later in the parsha (31:23) Hashem told Yehoshua, "Ki Ata Tavi," meaning that you will lead alone and by force, as each generation can have only a single leader. Rav Schwab says that Hashem told him this when he was in the Anan. Yehoshua did not want to repeat this to Moshe because he didn't want him to feel bad that Hashem gave him different instructions, and for Moshe's honor, he refused to tell him what Hashem said. Meshech Chochma - A King in Front of the People The Meshech Chochma says that we know that a king is commanded not to be haughty, "LiVilti Rum Livavo." He must deal with every individual with love and compassion. However, this is only in private. Publicly he must show a tough exterior and may not be Mochel on his

Kavod. We even see that Shaul Hamelech was punished for being too soft and compassionate. There is a remez to this from the pasuk (VaYeilech 31:7) where Moshe called Yehoshua and said to him, "L'Einei Kol Yisrael Chazak V'Ematz." In a play on words the Meshech Chochma says, "Before the eyes of the people, that is when you must be strong and bold."

Un Cadeau Formidable Il est écrit dans le traité Chabat (10, b) que celui qui fait un cadeau à son ami doit l’informer de sa valeur. Nos sages expliquent, en effet, qu'il est important que celui qui reçoit un présent en connaisse l'importance afin qu'il ne le néglige pas. Parfois, une femme peut recevoir un bijou ou un tableau très cher et penser que c'est un petit cadeau sans valeur. Pour ne pas en arriver à cette situation gênante, le talmud nous enseigne que celui qui offre un beau cadeau doit en prévenir son ami. Ce mercredi, Hachem nous offre l'occasion de faire Téchouva lors du jour de Yom Kippour. Essayons de comprendre l'importance de ce jour afin de ne pas mépriser ce cadeau incroyable. Il existe plusieurs allusions à la Mitsva de Téchouva dans la Torah, notamment dans la paracha Netsavim. Comme il est écrit : « Cette Mitsva n'est pas loin de toi, ni inaccessible... », ou encore « Et tu reviendras vers Hachem et tu écouteras sa voix... » A priori, tout celui qui lit ces versets comprend que celui qui entreprend la démarche de Téchouva et qui abandonne ses fautes, les avoue, les regrette et prend sur lui de ne plus recommencer, se rapproche du Créateur et se voit pardonner ses forfaits. S'il en est ainsi, nous avons une grande question sur un texte de Yeheskiel chapitre (33,10) dans lequel Hachem dit à ce prophète : lorsque les enfants d'Israël te diront : « nous avons tellement fauté que nous allons mourir avec ces fautes, car la Téchouva ne pourra pas nous

Pour Les Francophones

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protéger !» dis- leur en Mon nom : « Je jure, parole du Seigneur Hachem, que je ne désire pas la mort de l'impie. Je ne désire qu'une seule chose : qu'il revienne de ses mauvais chemins et qu'il vive ! Revenez, Revenez de vos voies tortueuses... Pourquoi mourir, enfants d’Israël ?»

De nombreux points sont étonnants dans ce texte : premièrement, pourquoi nos ancêtres n'ont- ils pas cru qu'ils pouvaient faire Téchouva, alors que c'est une Mitsva explicite dans la Torah ? De plus, pourquoi Hachem eut-Il besoin de jurer ? Pourquoi ne leur a-t-Il pas simplement présenté les versets de la Torah qui incitent à revenir vers Lui ? Pour répondre à ces questions, nous allons nous servir d'une allégorie du rav Baroukh Rozenblum chlita à qui nous devons ce dvar Torah : Un chef d'entreprise avait ouvert depuis plusieurs années un petit super-marché. Une petite dizaine de caissières, une autre dizaine employés s'occupaient de la manutention, de l'entretien et encore quelques secrétaires et un comptable. Ce petit monde faisait entrer en moyenne 5 000 euros par jour. Ainsi, le revenu annuel s'élevait-il environ à 1 600 000 euros. En enlevant les salaires, les locations du terrain, des camions...cette entreprise devait finir l'année avec un peu plus de 250 000 euros de bénéfice. Cependant, à la fin de l'année, après avoir remis les comptes à son expert comptable, celui-ci lui répondit, le visage sombre, qu’il avait accumulé un peu plus de 500 000 euros de dette... Le patron incrédule n'en revenait pas :" comment est-ce possible ? Vous savez, répondit le comptable, les chiffres ne mentent pas ! Maintenant, il peut exister de nombreuses raisons qui peuvent entraîner une situation comme celle-ci : des employés peuvent détourner des marchandises, ou les livreurs peuvent garder des cargaisons, ou encore le comptable peut faire des erreurs... Après quelques mois d'enquêtes et de visionnage des vidéos de surveillance...il découvrit que la faute venait du comptable. Celui-ci avait commis de nombreuses et graves erreurs qui avaient entraîné cette crise. Le chef convoqua l'employé et lui apprit son licenciement. Le comptable éclata en pleurs :" je vous en prie ne me renvoyez pas, j'ai dix enfants à la maison. Je vous en prie, je ne ferai

plus d'erreurs, je vais faire attention, laissez-moi encore une chance !" Le chef d'entreprise, fut prit d'un élan de pitié et lui laissa une dernière chance :" attention si l'année prochaine tu te trompes..." Hélas, le scénario se reproduisit l'année suivante... seulement au lieu de causer la perte de 750 000 euros, il n'entraîna "que" la perte de 125 000 euros. Est-il possible qu'une personne équilibrée puisse garder un employé comme cela ? Même s'il se met à pleurer comme un bébé, tout patron dirait :" écoute, je ne suis ni les restos du cœur ni l'armée du salut, je suis désolé..." Voilà la question des enfants d'Israël à Yeheskiel. Comment Hachem peut-il encore nous pardonner ? Après toutes ces années de fautes...Comment un patron peut il garder un employé comme cela ? C'est complétement illogique." Le rav Blazer zal explique qu'un homme ne jure que pour renforcer une chose qui n'est pas logique. Si je dis que j'ai vu un bus à Paris, je n'ai pas besoin de jurer. Si je dis que j'ai vu un avion décoller sur les Champs Elysées, je vais devoir jurer pour renforcer ce que j'affirme. Hachem jura aux enfants d'Israël que, malgré ces dizaines années de fautes, Il n'attendait que leur Téchouva. Pourquoi ? Parce que le comptable de cet histoire, c'est le fils du chef d'entreprise. Or, lorsqu'un père voit les erreurs de son fils, le rapport est complétement différent. « Vous êtes les enfants d’Hachem » nous dit le prophète. Et même si tous les ans, vous fautez contre Moi, Je jure que vous pouvez revenir. A l'image d'une mère qui prend son bébé et le nettoie... Malgré les mauvaises odeurs, elle fait attention à ce que l'eau ne soit pas trop froide pour son petit Moché, ni trop chaude, du reste. De même, Le Maître du Monde, tous les ans, nous prend et nous nettoie de toutes nos fautes, de toutes nos impuretés le Jour de Kippour et nous appelle à revenir vers Lui, année après année. Voilà le cadeau incroyable que nous allons recevoir samedi. Voilà pourquoi il n'existe pas de jour meilleur pour Israël que ce jour de Kippour. Seulement, n'oublions pas que ce jour n'efface les fautes que de celui qui fait Téchouva. Alors, profitons de ces 25 heures pour demander pardon et prendre sur nous quelques résolutions pour l'avenir.

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Nous vous souhaitons une très bonne fête, et une année pleine de Vie, de Torah, de Mitsvot, de santé, d’argent, et de paix... Et, par- dessus tout, qu’on ait le mérite d'entendre très prochainement le son du Grand Chofar, amenken yéhi ratson.

Pour se Faire Juger

Favorablement

Lors du mois d'Elloul, nous avons l'habitude de répéter dans les Sélihot la fameuse prière Vayaavor, dans laquelle nous citons les treize attributs de miséricorde. Nous trouvons l'origine de cette coutume dans le traité de Roch Hachanna (17,b) dans le que Rabi Yohannan explique le sens du verset " Vayaavor Hachem al panav vayikra… Chémot (34;6) (la traduction de ce verset est la suivante: Hachem passa devant lui etproclama: "Hachem, Hachem, Tout puissant, miséricorDi-sux et Charitable, il est patient et tarde à se mettre en colère, il est plein de bonté et de vérité.Il offre ses biens à la millième génération, il efface les fautes volontaires, les rebellions et les fautes involontaires et il purifie…). Ce rav disait : la Torah nous apprend ici qu'Hachem s'enveloppa de son Talith à la manière d'un officiant de synagogue et montra à Moché Rabénou cette prière. Puis Il lui dit : Lorsque les bné Israël fauteront, qu'ils fassent cela devant Moi, et Je leur pardonnerai." De nombreux sages relèvent qu'il n'a pas été dit : "qu'ils disent cela devant Moi". A travers cette allusion, Rabi Yohanan voulait nous apprendre que le meilleur moyen pour qu'Hachem efface nos fautes est de Lui ressembler. Et comme le développe le Ramak zal dans son livre Tomer Dévorah : de même qu'Il est bon, sois bon avec les autres. De même qu'Il est patient, sois patient…Ainsi, un des travaux essentiels du mois d'Elloul et de Tichri est d'essayer au maximum de se renforcer dans notre comportement avec autrui. Une des idées fondamentales du jour de Roch Hachanna est qu'Hachem est "assis" sur son trône de justice. Comme nous l'avons expliqué, c'est le jour pendant lequel toutes les créatures passent devant Lui et sont jugées. Or notre

objectif, pendant ces quarante huit heures, est qu'Il se lève de ce siège, c'est-à-dire de ce statut de Juge, et qu'Il s'assoie sur celui de Miséricorde pour nous inscrire dans le livre de laVie. Ainsi, tout le déroulement de ces deux jours à travers les prières, notre Téchouva, le chofar, le séder du soir…vise à transformer la rigueur en amour. C'est pourquoi nos maîtres nous demandent, en particulier pendant les jours à venir et jusqu'à Yom Kippour, de nous efforcer de ressembler au Tout Puissant dans ce point en particulier. Nous devons également nous lever de notre siège de juge afinde nous asseoir dans celui de Miséricorde. Pour comprendre comment réaliser ce service divin, nous devons connaître un dernier point à propos du jugement céleste. Le Hafetz Haïm zal, dans son livre Chmirat Alachon, explique qu'Hachem juge chacun en fonction de la manière dont il juge les autres. Ainsi, lorsqu'on voit une chose qui ne paraît pas "cachère" dans le comportement d'autrui ou dans son discours, nous avons deux possibilités : soit la juger péjorativement et accabler son attitude, soit la juger favorablement en supposant que nous n'avons pas tous les éléments de l'histoire ou que cette personne ne sait pas forcément que cette chose est interdite… Si nous avons la mauvaise habitude d'inspecter le comportement et de condamner notre entourage, il faut savoir que les accusateurs divins visionneront eux aussi nos actions et nos mitsvot avec un peigne très fin. Mais si nous prenons l'habitude de ne pas trop relever les imperfections de nos amis et de toujours bien interpréter leurs actes, mesure pour mesure, les anges accusateurs, en se montrant plus cléments, seront contraints de nous défendre. Si nous désirons donc réellement qu'Hachem s'assoie sur son trône de Miséricorde, nous devons tout faire pendant ces quelques jours à venir pour juger tout le monde positivement. Et si nous y prêtons attention, nous pouvons ressentir une tension particulière lors de cette période qui n'existe pas toute l'année. Nos sages expliquent qu'Hachem envoie tous ces événements porteurs de contrariétés afin d'observer notre jugement. Ainsi, chaque accrochage représente une occasion pour nous, si nous y réagissons bien, de faire pencher la balance vers la Vie. Mais pour

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réussir à transformer ces mauvaises pensées qui surgissent instinctivement, nous devons prendre conscience de plusieurs points. Premièrement, ce que l'on croit être une faute ou un mauvais comportement se révèle très souvent être une mauvaise interprétation de l'événement, bien loin de la réalité. De plus, même si sans aucun doute, il s'agit d'une faute, de nombreuses raisons, que nous ne connaissons pas, et qui peuvent amoindrir la gravité de ce comportement, peuvent exister. Enfin, nous devons nous rappeler que, de même que nous possédons sur certains points un Yetser Ara très fort que nous n'arrivons pas à surmonter, il existe chez chacun des domaines qui lui semblent indépassables. Or, comme nous ne savons pas délimiter ni les capacités ni les difficultés d'autrui, tout jugement ne peut être qu'erroné. En outre, si nous essayons de trouver à chacun des circonstances atténuantes, nous augmentons nos chances d'être inscrits dans le livre de la Vie et de nous protéger des accusations. Ainsi, en nous levant de notre siège de juge, nous permettons à Hachem de s'asseoir sur son trône de Miséricorde et de décréter à notre encontre tous les bienfaits spirituels et matériels dont nous avons besoin pour l'année prochaine. Alors, qu'Hachem nous aide à l'imiter en jugeant tout le monde positivement et qu'Il déverse toutes les bénédictions inscrites dans cette paracha sur notre peuple, amen ken yéhi ratson.

Teshuvá: Un Lavado para el Alma.

¿Hiciste algo mal? Todos lo hemos hecho. He aquí como arreglarlo, de una vez por todas. Mucha gente malinterpreta el concepto de pecado. Piensan que alguien que peca es una "mala persona".

En realidad, la palabra en hebreo jet no tiene ninguna relación en significado con la palabra pecado. Jet aparece en la Torá refiriéndose a una honda que "erró en dar al blanco". ¡No hay nada inherentemente "malvado" respecto a esa honda! Más bien, ocurrió un error – debido a una falta de enfoque, concentración o habilidad. Esto mismo se aplica a nosotros. Cuando nos comportamos de forma irresponsable o destructiva, simplemente hemos errado nuestro tiro. Cada ser humano tiene un alma, un pequeño trozo divino que nos diferencia de los animales. Cuando hacemos algo mal, es porque la "voz" de nuestra alma se ha quedado temporalmente muda debido al rugido del cuerpo físico. Esta confusión es lo que nosotros llamamos "Ietzer HaRá". Pero nuestra esencia se mantiene pura. Sólo tenemos que hacer algunos ajustes – ¡Y estaremos de vuelta en camino hacia nuestro blanco! Esta es la idea de teshuvá, que literalmente significa "retorno". Cuando "hacemos teshuvá", examinamos nuestras formas de ser, identificamos en cuales estamos mal y "retornamos" a nuestro estado previo de pureza espiritual. En este proceso "retornamos" también hacia nuestra conexión con Di-s. El proceso de teshuvá involucra los 4 pasos siguientes: Paso 1- Arrepentimiento. Darse cuenta de la medida del daño que se ha hecho y lamentarlo sinceramente. Paso 2- Cesación. Parar inmediatamente la acción perjudicial. Paso 3- Confesión. Articular el error y pedir perdón. Paso 4- Resolución. Hacer un firme compromiso de no repetirlo en el futuro. Ahora vamos a examinar cada uno de los pasos en detalle.

Paso 1: Arrepentimiento A veces tratamos de justificar nuestras acciones, usando una variedad de excusas: "Todos los demás lo hacen".

Reflexion semanal

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"¡Por lo menos no soy como algunas personas que van por ahí, matando y robando!". "¿Quién eres TÚ para decir que está mal?". El arrepentimiento no es realmente posible, a menos que podamos distinguir claramente entre el bien y el mal. De lo contrario, solamente racionalizaríamos y nos engañaríamos para llegar a pensar que no hemos hecho nada mal. Los estándares de nuestra sociedad, que constantemente van cambiando, contribuyen a esta falta de claridad. Por ejemplo, imagina que has crecido en una casa en la que el chisme era algo que se hacía constantemente. A menos que tengas conocimiento de la idea judía de Lashón HaRá ("lenguaje negativo") y te hayas dado cuenta de su naturaleza destructiva, ¡Es posible que nunca consideres que hablar así de los demás está mal! (Por esta razón, es importante estar familiarizado con la Halajá, la ley judía, y tener un rabino que te conozca personalmente y te pueda aconsejar). ¿Cómo debemos sentirnos al reconocer un error propio? ¿Debemos sentirnos culpables, despreciables o malvados? ¡No! "Culpa" es una emoción negativa que dice "Yo soy malo". Mientras que "Arrepentimiento" es el reconocimiento positivo de que, mientras mi esencia sigue siendo pura, he fallado en cumplir con lo que se espera de mi potencial. Sentir arrepentimiento es una señal positiva de que estamos nuevamente en contacto con nuestra esencia divina. Nuestra conciencia no nos va a dejar tranquilos hasta que hayamos corregido nuestro error. ¿Acaso una persona malvada sentiría arrepentimiento luego de hacer una transgresión? Este primer paso de teshuvá es, de hecho, el más crucial. – Ya que, a menos que una persona se sienta arrepentida, posiblemente continuará con sus formas erradas. Paso 2: Cesación El Talmud dice:

Una persona que cometió un error y lo admite, pero no renuncia a hacerlo otra vez, es comparada con el sumergirse en la mikve sosteniendo un reptil muerto en la mano. Por que a pesar de que se sumerja en todas las aguas del mundo, su inmersión es inútil. Sin embargo, si lo suelta [al reptil] de su mano, luego al sumergirse en 40 sehas de agua (la medida mínima de una mikve), su inmersión se hace inmediatamente efectiva. (Tahanit 16a).

¿Te imaginas pedirle perdón a alguien mientras continúas haciéndole mal al mismo tiempo? Si no se para la mala acción, ni siquiera todas las buenas intenciones del mundo podrán ayudar. Paso 3: Confesión y pedir perdón Al admitir nuestro error, la ley judía prescribe que debemos articularlo verbalmente. El Majzor ArtScroll de Iom Kipur da una hermosa explicación de porqué esto es tan crucial para el proceso de teshuvá.

Al ser inteligente, pensante, e imaginativo, el hombre tiene todo tipo de pensamientos pasando constantemente por su mente. Incluso las reflexiones más sublimes de remordimiento y mejoramiento personal, no le son extraños, sin embargo no le duran. Para que estos pensamientos tengan un sentido duradero, él debe destilarlos en palabras, ya que el proceso del pensamiento culmina cuando las ideas son expresadas y clarificadas. Esto no es tan simple como parece. Por lo general, es terriblemente difícil para la gente admitir explícitamente que han hecho algo mal. Nos excusamos. Nos negamos a admitir la verdad. Le echamos la culpa a otro. Negamos lo obvio. Nos destacamos por racionalizar. Pero la persona que arranca de sí misma la incomoda verdad, "Yo he pecado", ha llevado a cabo un granDi-so y significativo acto.

La Torá nos pide ser humildes y estar afligidos mientras pedimos perdón. Esto es crucial para permitir que la "víctima" sane. ¿Alguna vez alguien te ha pedido perdón y te has dado

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cuenta que no es sincera? No es suficiente con tan sólo murmurar las palabras "lo siento". Incluso algunas cortes civiles están adoptando este principio; algunos jueces requieren que los criminales demuestren un arrepentimiento verdadero y que pidan perdón formalmente a las víctimas antes de considerar una reducción en la condena. Paso 4: Decidir no repetirlo En Iom Kipur, decimos dos plegarias ("Ashamnu" y "Al Jet") la cuales contienen una extensa lista de errores. De hecho, al revisar esta lista, ¡encontrarás que la mención de errores Cubre cada aspecto de la vida! Esto nos lleva a preguntar: Al decir estas plegarias, ¿Estamos realmente haciendo un compromiso de no pecar nunca más? ¿Es esto realista? Imagina a un niño que está dando sus primeros pasos frente a sus orgullosos padres. Se pone de pie, da un par de pasos – y se cae sin éxito. Los padres aplauden excitados y con regocijo. Pero analicemos la escena, ¿No deberían los padres estar apenados? Después de todo, ¡El niño se cayó! La respuesta es obvia. Un padre no juzga a su hijo basado en si camina o se cae, sino que

según si dio algunos pasos en el camino correcto. Así es también, con Di-s. No estamos compitiendo con nadie más que con nosotros mismos. Lo que a Él le preocupa, es si estamos haciendo un esfuerzo sincero para ir en la dirección correcta. Di-s no te pide que cambies en el área que todavía no es viable para ti cambiar. Estamos comandados a ser seres humanos, no ángeles. Esto significa hacer un serio compromiso a cambiar – y dar los pasos correctos en el momento correcto. Un individuo no tiene que tener todas las respuestas ahora mismo. La clave es el compromiso a cambiar. Debes tener en cuenta las situaciones en las que puedes tropezar, y mantenerte a una distancia segura de ellas. La Torá dice: Fortalece tu voluntad en cierta área y Di-s te asegurará el éxito. No hay nada que se pueda interponer en el camino de la persistencia y la determinación. Tal como dice el Talmud (Makot 10b) "En el camino que una persona quiera ir, será guiado".

NOTAS: (1) Devarim 30:11-12. (2) Obviamente, esta Guemará no debe entenderse literalmente.

Nahala of Rav Avraham Chalfon Sunday the 7th of Tishri

Rav Avraham Calfon (1735-1819). Born in Tripoli, Libya. Actually, in those days, Libya did not exist - the region was comprised of three independent regions, Cyrenaica, Tripolitania and Fazzan. He learned under several sages, most notably the Italian gadol, Rav Malachi ben Yaakov HaKohen, author of Yad Malachi, a sefer that discusses the methodology and rules of the Shas and poskim. Blessed with wealth from both his parents and his in-laws, Rav Avraham was able to devote himself to Torah his whole life. He was appointed sheikh

(president) of Tripoli's kehillah, in 1778. By the time of Rav Avraham’s birth, Ahmed Karamanli controlled much of modern Libya. Karamanli was a member of the Sultan's household guard, assassinated Tripoli's evil Ottoman governor in 1711, and installed himself as a semi-independent ruler in his stead. As a result, Tripoli became a Corsair (Barbary pirate) base.

Roke'ach: Four Kinds of Tshuvah That You Need to

Nahalot

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Do, Haba'a, Mishkal, HaGeder, HaKatuv

Tshuva means that you need to leave your old way, put measures in place to ensure that you do not return to those ways, make amends for what you have done, and accept your punishment. The Roke'ach outlines 4 kinds of teshuva you need for each avera to satisfy these criteria. Tshuvat Haba'ah - This is the first and most crucial step. It is not enough that you say you won't do the avera again. You must prove it. You can accomplish this only when you are faced with the same exact situtation once again but this time you resist the temptation to sin. Until that happens your tshuva is not complete. Our temptations when we are young are not the same as our weaknesses when we are old. We outgrow some of the silly things that turned us on as we grow up. Therefore, warns Shlomo Hamelech "Zchor Borecha Bime Bachurotecha", return to Hashem when you are still young because once you get old and do not have that same desire your teshuva is incomplete. Tshuvat HaGeder - Although you have made up your mind that doing the avera was bad and you vow to stay away from it in the future, you are after all only human. It would be irresponsible not to put safeguards in place to make sure that you don't come near the possibility of tempting yourself once again. In Pirke Avot it says that Chachomim make a fence around the torah. Everybody knows that something they really hate they don't just avoid, they stay as far away as possible from it. A tzaddik is not someone who can stare temptation in the eye and not flinch, a tzaddik is someone who shapes his whole life out of avoiding avera. This is called Tshuvat HaGeder. The Tshuva of fences. Tshuvat HaMishkal means that although you promise to be good in the future you still need to make up for the past. If you had great physical pleasure from the avera you need to give it back. How so? By tormenting yourself in the reverse way of your enjoyment. This is why curbing your eating, talking, sleeping, and sight are the hallmarks of teshuva. They serve as an

antidote for most averot which are caused by excesses of the body and mind. Tshuvat HaKatuv - For many averot the torah prescribes a punishment to be administered by Sanhedrin whether it's Makot, Mita, or financial restitution. Accepting the Torah prescribes punishment is called Tshuvat HaKatuv. Since there is no Bet Din today, see the Roke'ach for ideas how you can simulate Tshuvat HaMishkal.

Horse and Rider: Who’s Leading Whom?

Practical suggestions on how to prepare for Yom Kippur. (By Emuna Braverman) “Woe for the loss of a good servant. If not for the tree of good and evil, everyone would have a snake who’d carry their bags around for them.” (Story from the Talmud) What on earth does this mean? We all recognize the battle between our body and our soul, our baser instincts and our more elevated ones, between our id and our superego if you prefer the Freudian. It’s really life’s struggle, life’s challenge. It’s ongoing. It’s every day. In fact, it’s every moment. It’s our moral choices, the ones that take us towards G-d or away from Him, that bring light into the world or, G-d forbid, darkness. The snake in the Garden of Eden story was our baser instinct incarnate. He represented our yetzer hara, our desire to rebel, to disobey, to indulge our appetites and our ego. Once Adam and Eve ate, these desires became internalized rather than external and the battle began. But the strange story is telling us something deeper – that, even now, with the right attitude, we can recalibrate our relationship to our yetzer hara. It should be our servant. It should carry our bags. In other words, we should use it – its energy and its power – to accomplish good in the world. We should be its master. It’s only when our body controls us that we make mistakes, that our world and our focus are out of sync. Our sages compare it to a horse and rider – with our soul the rider and our body the horse. The

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horse is strong and powerful and the rider needs the horse in order to get where he needs to go. But the rider must be in charge and determine the direction – and not give over that responsibility to the horse. It sounds absurd when we put it in those terms and yet we do it all the time. As I said, this is our life’s constant challenge. We have so many opportunities to be the rider, to be the leader, to be a soul and not a body. And we have exciting moments when succeed, when we sit masterfully astride our horse and move strongly forward – and, unfortunately, discouraging ones when we don’t, when the horse drags us through the mud. Yom Kippur is the opportunity to repent and atone for those lost or missed opportunities and to make decisions that will enhance our ability to make the right choices next time. A few examples of body over soul moments: We give in to frustration and anger – from road rage directed at an anonymous stranger (even muttering in the car is not our highest self) to frustration with our husbands – over small things – “Didn’t I ask you to take out the garbage before you left for work?” –and big –“ I told her she couldn’t have that/go there; why did you go behind my back and say yes?” to anger with our (mostly) defenseless children – over forgetting their lunch or not doing their homework or not being ready on time or, (the more serious) not being kind to their siblings. We indulge in jealousy –perhaps fostered by our obsessive and counterproductive wasting of hours on Facebook We give in to our desires – it’s not that it’s bad to break our diets or skip our exercise regimen; it’s when I allow my desires to determine my actions that I give the horse its head. When I eat that chocolate cake even though I’m full and I keep eating and eating or finish that carton of ice cream in bed (I don’t actually do that one anymore but everyone in my family remembers the days!) that I feel humiliated. Because I let my body win. I didn’t control my choices. We are lazy, and critical, and worried and depressed. The list goes on. Giving in to any or all of these negative traits is letting the yetzer hara take control. We have to fight back. We are so much more than our bodies but sometimes it just feels so hard so we let our

bodies lead. We give up the fight. We let our bodies make our choices for us, decide our direction for us. We let the horse control the rider. This year on Yom Kippur we want to make new choices. In order to ensure this we need a plan. We need to choose one thing to work on – let’s say for example it’s lashon hara, speaking in a derogatory way about others. There is no point in saying “I’ll never speak lashon hara again.” Chances are we will. We’ll be in a situation and it will just be too tempting, too juicy… So let’s pick one hour a day for 40 days that we won’t speak it. Let’s do in the merit of someone getting healthy or getting married etc. so we have extra motivation. We need to bribe the body (Even a promise of new shoes at the end can be effective! Trust me.) Let’s do it at a time that works. Just like alcoholics avoid streets with familiar old bars and any other situations that trigger their “I want a drink” response, we also need to be strategic. If there’s one friend who always speaks gossip or with whom our relationship is based on it, we could definitely diminish our contact with her but at the very least, we shouldn’t call her during our lashon hara-free hour! You don’t have to make your hours at two in the morning but you don’t have to make them at your hardest time either. They can be at work, when you usually exercise, at dinner time – for a more elevated dinner conversation. For whatever you pick, I recommend 40 days not a month because 40 is a time of renewal and rebirth. The flood was 40 days and a new world was born. Yom Kippur is also an opportunity for spiritual rebirth, to wipe the slate clean and start anew. But it’s not magic. The opportunity to wipe the slate clean is a gift. The starting anew is up to us. It begins with recognizing who is the rider and who is the horse and owning up to our responsibility – and even celebrating it.

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