October 5, 2014

Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone Struggling with Depression

“Go out, have fun, have a drink, and forget about it.”

A night out on the town is no cure for depression. Depression isn’t just a bad day. It is a hundred bad days, all

at once, with seemingly no way out.

What you should say instead: I would love to spend some time with you, and I’m more than willing to be

your shoulder to lean on. Maybe we can grab some coffee and catch up?

“You’re bringing me down.”

Again, repeat after me: Depression is not a choice. A person struggling with depression may feel helpless.

They are struggling to help themselves; the last thing they need is the extra worry and pain of trying to help

you.

What you should say instead: I hate seeing you so down. What can I do to

help?

“What do you even have to be depressed about?”

Depression isn’t always caused by a traumatic or sad event. Sometimes, it

just happens. That doesn’t make it any less serious.

What you should say instead: I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were

struggling, I’m here now.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

There’s a big difference in feeling sorry for yourself, and struggling with

depression, although sometimes the two go hand in hand.

What you should say instead: I can see that you are struggling, and it

makes me upset. What can I do? (continued on page 2)

FATHER GEORGE H. SHALHOUB 248-374-0591 October 5, 2014

Issue 438

�18100 Merriman Road � Livonia, Michigan 48152 � www.saintmarylivonia.com � Office: (734)-422-0010 �

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“And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.” Acts 11:26

The Antiochian Orthodox Basilica of St. Mary

Fr. George Shalhoub - Pastor Fr. Jim King - Director of Youth & Pastoral Outreach Programs Archdeacon Issa Rizkallah

313-690-2030 Deacon Dr. Dennis Bojrab Deacon Samer Hanna Salem Samaan - Parish Council Chairman Linda Lawson - Choir Director Stacey Badeen - Church Administrator Christina Stavros - Pastoral Ministries

Coordinator Richard Shebib/Sami Azzouz - Ushers Dr. Tom Saba - Young Adults- St. John Divine Irene Saba - Ladies Society President Gloria Sultani - Teen Soyo President Lina Nunu - Arabic School Keith Rowe - Cultural Center General Manager 734-421-9220

The Light of Christ

AL-NOUR

PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY:

THE ANTIOCHIAN ORTHODOX BASILICA OF ST. MARY

Page 2 The Antiochian Orthodox Basilica of St. Mary

THE EPISTLE Make your vows to the Lord our God and perform them.

God is known in Judah; His Name is great in Israel.

The Reading is from the Second Epistle of St. Paul to the Corinthians Chapter 6:16-7:1

BBBB rethren, we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will live in them and move among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore come out from them, and be separate from them,” says the Lord, “and touch nothing unclean; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, and make holiness perfect in the fear of God.

THE GOSPEL

The Reading is from the Holy Gospel according to St. Luke Chapter 6:31-36

TTTT he Lord said: “As you wish that men would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You need to go on a run.”

Although exercise can help combat bad days, when someone is struggling with depression it may be too difficult to even

get out of bed some days.

What you should say instead: I need a walking buddy! Will you walk with me?

“You just need to get out of the house!”

Again, for someone struggling with depression, leaving the house could seem next to impossible. And even if they do,

leaving the house isn’t a fix for depression.

What you should say instead: I don’t like the thought of you dealing with this alone. Maybe I can come over or we can go

somewhere together.

“Everyone else is dealing with life, so why can’t you?”

Depression is not a choice. It is not a choice. It happens. And when it happens, it will affect anyone and everyone

differently.

What you should say instead: You seem to be having a difficult time and I just want you to know that I’m here.

“You’re strong, you’ll be fine.”

Depression will make anyone feel weak and helpless.

What you should say instead: I believe in you, and I know you can get through this. I will be here every step of the way.

The Antiochian Orthodox Basilica of St. Mary Page 3

PRAYER CORNER memorials

IIII am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me shall never die.” (John 11:25) Oct. 5th - Memorial in loving memory of brother Bandali Bakleh offered by Hala and Nader Kishek, Oct. 5th - 1 year memorial in loving memory of Hanna Nakhla Bannoura offered by the family, Oct. 12th - 40 day memorial in loving memory of mother Asma Raad offered by Ghassan and Fadia Raad and family,

Oct. 19th - 1 year memorial in loving memory of Evelyn Naser offered by her husband George Naser and family, Oct. 19th - 1 year memorial in loving memory of Nahil Jalil Warra offered by her husband Jalil Warra and family. Oct. 26th - 1 year memorial in loving memory of Gubran Moaikel offered by the family,

Thank You

“A Vigil Light is Burning” In Loving Devotion

FFFF or The Health and Well Being Of:

IIII n Memory Of: Joseph Michael

Mouaikel, George Abodeely, Nawal

Fakhouri,

HOLY BREAD OF OBLATION

HHHH oly Bread of Oblation

is offered by the families, for the

month of October, in loving memory

of:

Ibrahim Hanania

Dr. James Kawwas

Naim Kawwas

Jerry Shauqi Mughannem

HHHH oly Bread of Oblation

is offered by the families, for

the month of October, for the health

and well being of:

Mughannem family

LLLL ord, you are the physician of

our souls and body. We pray You

grant the following parishioners

good health and blessings:

Metropolitan PAUL Yazigi,

Archbishop Youhanna Ibrahim, Zaki

Tams, Najla, Fr. John, Pheibi

Musallam, Fr. Kamal, Samira

Ansara,

TTTT he following parishioners and

friends of the Basilica of St.

Mary have given special donations

to the Church in the past few

weeks:

$50-In loving memory of aunt

Mary Ajluni offered by Pat and

David Thomas,

$100-In loving memory of husband

Naim Kawwas and son Dr. James

Kawwas offered by Lily Kawwas,

$100-In loving memory of Ibrahim

Hanania offered by his wife Sylvia

Hanania,

$500-For the health and well being

of newly baptized Adrian Joni

offered by parents Joni and Tanya

Warra,

$500-For the health and well being

of newly baptized nephew,

Camden Edward Daibess offered

by Gus and Andrea Shukeireh,

TTTT he clergy and parishioners at the

Basilica of St. Mary extend their deepest sympathy to Hala and Nader Kishek and the entire family on the passing of her brother, Bandali Bakleh, in Jerusalem.

TTTT he clergy and parishioners at the Basilica of St. Mary extend their deepest sympathy to Naimeh Khoury, Nuha Sackllah, Issa Cook and the entire family on the passing of their beloved nephew, Issa Balat, in Houston, Texas.

May their memories be eternal.

Condolences

Public Announcement

Please join us for the annual St. Jude Detroit Gala, hosted by Ghassan and Manal Saab and George and Debbie Simon, on Friday, October 17, 2014- 6:30 p.m. MGM Grand Detroit, 1777 Third Street, Detroit, Michigan. Be a part of one of Detroit's premiere charity events. The evening will include cocktails, dinner, unique live and silent auction items, and a brief patient program. Help us support St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, where no family ever receives a bill for treatment,

travel, housing or food — because all a family should worry about is helping their child live.

For more information, please visit stjude.org/detroitgala or contact

Angela Halverson at (248) 546-8086 or

angela.halverson@stjude.org.

Ladies Society News

The next Ladies Society meeting

will be held on Tuesday, October

7th, at 7pm in the library.

Condolences

TTTT he clergy and parishioners at the

Basilica of St. Mary extend their deepest sympathy to Mitri and MaryAnn Mansour and the entire family on the passing of his father, George Mansour, in Lebanon.

May his memory be eternal.

Page 4 The Antiochian Orthodox Basilica of St. Mary

Please visit www.saintmarylivonia.com for details about events and activities happening

at the Basilica of Saint Mary. If you have any questions regarding Youth and Outreach Events,

please contact Fr. Jim or Ms. Christina Stavros at (734) 422-0010.

HAPPENINGS

@ the Basilica of Saint Mary ……………………………………………“Whoever will not love his enemies cannot know the Lord “Whoever will not love his enemies cannot know the Lord “Whoever will not love his enemies cannot know the Lord “Whoever will not love his enemies cannot know the Lord

and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit teaches us and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit teaches us and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit teaches us and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit teaches us

to love our enemies in such a way that we pity their souls as if to love our enemies in such a way that we pity their souls as if to love our enemies in such a way that we pity their souls as if to love our enemies in such a way that we pity their souls as if

they were our own childrenthey were our own childrenthey were our own childrenthey were our own children.”.”.”.”---- St. Silouan the AthoniteSt. Silouan the AthoniteSt. Silouan the AthoniteSt. Silouan the Athonite

!!! UPCOMING EVENTS !!!

Every Wednesday at 10:00a: MOTHER TODDLER GROUP Every Wednesday at 7:00p: TEEN SOYO MEETING Every Sunday at 10:00a: CHURCH SCHOOL CONTINUES MONTH OF OCTOBER: ANTIOCHIAN YOUTH MONTH! October 17-19 TEEN SOYO FALL RETREAT October 24 SOYO @ THREE CEDARS

OCTOBER is

YOUTH MONTH !!!

If you are a youth and would like to

serve in the Altar, read the Epistle, or serve as an usher

during the Liturgy, please contact Christina Stavros to sign up.

The Antiochian Orthodox Basilica of St. Mary Page 5

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The Antiochian Orthodox Basilica of St. Mary SAVE THE DATE

His Eminence Metropolitan JOSEPH

His Grace Bishop ANTHONY The clergy and Parish Council of

The Basilica of St. Mary cordially invite you to the

Dedication of the Pantocrator – the Dome and to our annual Grand Banquet

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Invitations have been mailed. Please return your reservation in as soon as possible.