Martial, Epigrammata Selecta (translation, J.M. Pfundstein)

4.88

Nulla remīsistī parvō prō mūnere dōna,et iam Saturnī quīnque fuēre diēs.

Ergo nec argentī sex scrīpula Septiciammissa nec ā querulō mappa cliente fuit,

Antipolītānī nec quae dē sanguine thynnītesta rubet, nec quae cottana parva gerit,

nec rūgōsārum vīmen breve Pīcernārum,dīcere tē possēs ut meminisse meī!

Dēcipiēs aliōs verbīs voltūque benignō,nam mihi iam nōtus dissimulātor eris.

5.30

Varro, Sophoclēō nōn īnfitiande cothurnōnec minus in Calabrā suspiciende lyrā,

differ opus nec tē fācundī scaena Catullīdētineat cultīs aut elegīa comīs;

sed lege fūmōsō nōn aspernanda Decembrīcarmina, mittuntur quae tibi mense suō:

commodius nisi forte tibī potiusque vidēturSāturnāliciās perdere, Varro, nucēs.

5.84

Iam trīstis nūcibus puer relictīsclāmōsō revocātur ā magistrō,et blandō male prōditus fritillō,arcānā modo raptus ē popīnā,aedīlem rogat ūdus āleātor.Sāturnālia trānsiēre tōta,nec mūnuscula parva nec minōramīsistī mihi, Galla, quam solēbās.Sānē sīc abeat meus December:scīs certē, pūto, vestra iam venīreSāturnālia, Martiās Kalendās;tunc reddam tibi, Galla, quod dedistī.

11.2

Trīste supercilium dūrīque sevēra Catōnisfrōns et arātōris fīlia Fabriciī

et persōnātī fastūs et rēgula mōrum,quidquid et in tenebrīs non sumus, īte forās.

Clāmant ecce meī "Io Sāturnālia" versūs:et licet et sub tē praeside, Nerva, libet.

Lectōrēs tetrīcī salebrōsum ēdiscite Santram:nīl mihi vōbīscum est: iste liber meus est.

Only 364 Shopping Days ’Til Next Christmas

Already five days of the Saturnalia are over, and you sent me nothing in return for my little gift-- so you didn’t even have a handful of nickels, or a used napkin left by a grumpy client, or a jar full of nasty cut-rate fish juice or stunted figs, or a little basket of wrinkly old olives-- nothing, nothing, just so that you could say you remembered me? Fine. You can act like St. Nick to the world, but I know when I’ve been Scrooged.

>>>>>>>>>PAID ADVT.<<<<<<<<<

Varro: your Muse might make a buskin weep or oft aloft on lyric wings may soar.But knock off work. Don’t let Catullus keep you from The Best of Martial, Volume 4.Don’t sneeze at songs December sends to you but read them, smoky Saturnalia’s choir.Why not? There’s nothing else you have to do, except roast chestnuts on an open fire.

Happy Mother’s Day, Galla

Gloomy schoolboys now go back to school,candycanes behind, hoarse teachers ahead.Cruelly caught by the addictive rattle of the dicea groggy gambler goes three roundswith the beat-cop who busted his crap-game.Another Saturnalia nailed:December slides away, without, need I say,a gift from you, Galla-- not even your usualDollar Store Save-a-thon dingus. O.K., I could care less. Get my drift, Galla? “What goes around...”On Mother’s Day in March you’ll get what I got.

This is the Moral, Wrong or Right...

Hey, Cato, you creep with pitchfork frownand the iron phiz, and altar-girl Fabricia,and the flipping rules we forget to rememberand the manners we remember to forget: get lost!My songs sing, “Io Saturnalia! Happy Old Year!”It’s not illegal (at least, it isn’t yet).Want to parse a pronoun? Read Wheelock!It’s my book, like it or lump it: that’s Martial law.

The Christmas Song

(Torme-Wells)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose,Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows A turkey and some mistletoe, Help to make the season bright. Tiny tots with their eyes all a-glow, Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way He's loaded lots of toys & goodies on his sleigh, And ev'ry mother's child is gonna spy, To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase, To kids from one to ninety-two, Although it's been said many times, Many ways: "Merry Christmas to you!”

Here's to You, Vergilto the tune of "The Christmas Song"

(Ed Long)

Dido's roasting on an open pyre,Ships sail off in search of home,Trojan epics being sung with a lyreAnd helmsmen drowning in the foam --

On the way to Rome A white sow and her thirty youngHelp to mark the future site.Tiny Iulus with his head all aglowWill find it hard to sleep tonight.

He knows that Turnus comes today,He's loaded lots of bows and arrows for to slay,And every Latin wife is going to spyTo see if Trojans really know how to die.

And so we're offering this simple phraseTo classicists both old and new,Although you've been read many times, Many ways : “Publius, here's to you!”

Santa Claus (by T. Nast) Mel Torme Vergil

Choralia Latina: “Latin Carols”

[N.B.: In Medieval Latin, “v” is pronounced as in English; “g” (before “e” or “i”) is pronounced as English “j” and “c” (before “e” or “i”) is pronounced as English “ch.” Diphthongs “ae” and “oe” are pronounced as “ē” so that the third and fourth verses of the last stanza of Veni, Veni Emmanuel do actually rhyme.]

Veni, Veni, Emmanuel12th century

venī, venī, Emmānūēl;captīvum solve Isrāēl,quī gemit in exiliōprīvātus Deī Fīliō.gaudē! gaudē! Emmānūēl nascētur prō tē, Isrāēl.

venī, ō Jesse Virgula,ex hostis tuōs ungulā,dē specū tuōs Tartarīēdūc et antrō Barathrī.gaudē! gaudē! Emmānūēl nascētur prō tē, Isrāēl.

venī, venī, ō Oriēns;sōlāre nōs adveniēns;dēpelle noctis nebulāsdīrāsque noctis tenebrās.gaudē! gaudē! Emmānūēl nascētur prō tē, Isrāēl.

venī, Clāvis Dāvīdica;rēgna reclūde caelica;fac iter tūtum superum,et claude viās īnferum.gaudē! gaudē! Emmānūēl nascētur prō tē, Isrāēl.

venī, venī, Adōnāi,quī populō in Sinailēgem dedistī verticein majestāte glōriae.gaudē, gaudē; Emmānūēl nascētur prō tē, Isrāēl.

“O Come, O come, Emmanuel”

O come, O come, Emmanuel, And ransom captive Israel,That mourns in lonely exile hereUntil the Son of God appear. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, thou Rod of Jesse, freeThine own from Satan’s tyranny;From depths of hell thy people save,And give them victory over the grave. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, thou Dayspring, from on highOur spirits by thy drawing nigh;Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,And death’s dark shadows put to flight. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, thou Key of David, come,And open wide our heavenly home;Make safe the way that leads on high,And close the path to misery. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, great Lord of might,Who to thy tribes on Sinai's heightIn ancient times once gave the lawIn cloud and majesty and awe. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

Adeste, fideles

John Francis Wade, 1711-1786

adeste, fidēlēs, laetī triumphantēs,venīte, venīte in Bethlehem:nātum vidēte rēgem angelōrum.venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus Dominum.

Deum dē Deō, lūmen ex lūmine,gestant puellae viscera,Deum vērum, genitum nōn factum.venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus Dominum.

cantet nunc “iō” chorus angelōrum;cantet nunc aula caelestium:“glōria, glōria in excēlsīs Deō.”venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus Dominum.

ēn grege relictō, humilēs ad cūnāsvocātī pāstōrēs approperant;et nōs ovantī gradū festīnēmus:venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus Dominum.

ergō quī nātus diē hodiernāJesū, tibi sit glōria:Patris aeternī verbum carō factum.venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus,venīte, adōrēmus Dominum.

“O Come All Ye Faithful”

O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant,Come ye, O come ye, to Bethlehem.Come and behold Him, born the King of angels.O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

True God of true God, Light from Light Eternal,Lo, he shuns not the Virgin's womb;Son of the Father, begotten, not created.O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation;Sing, all ye citizens of heaven above:“Glory to God, all glory in the highest!”O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

See how the shepherds, summoned to His cradle,Leaving their flocks, draw nigh to gaze;We too will thither bend our joyful footsteps:O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

Yea, Lord, we greet Thee, born this happy morning;Jesus, to Thee be glory given,Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing.O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him,O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

CANDĒLAE QUANZICAE

KWANZAA CANDLES

Candēlae rubrae candescunt. Candēlae rubrae candescunt. Fēriīs Quanzicīs Candēlae rubrae candescunt. Candēlae viridēs candescunt. Candēlae viridēs candescunt. Fēriīs Quanzicīs Candēlae rubrae candescunt. Candēla atra candescit. Candēla atra candescit. Fēriīs Quanzicīs Candēla atra candescit.

The red candles shine. The red candles shine. When it's time for Kwanzaa The red candles shine. The green candles shine. The green candles shine. When it's time for Kwanzaa The green candles shine. The black candle shines. The black candle shines. When it's time for Kwanzaa The black candle shines.

Umoja (Unity) Ūnitās Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) Lībertās

Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) Cooperātiō Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) Concordia

Nia (Purpose) Ratiō Kuumba (Creativity) Sapientia

Imani (Faith) Pietās

The Dreidel Song

(traditional; Latin translation by J.M. Pfundstein)

I have a little dreidel,I made it out of clay,And when it's dry and ready,Then dreidel I shall play!

Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,I made it out of clay.Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,Then dreidel I shall play.

It has a lovely body,With legs so short and thin,And when it gets all tired,It drops and then I win!

Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,With leg so short and thin,Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,It drops and then I win!

Est mihi turbō parvus;argillā fēcī, em!Cum siccus est paratus,tunc lūdam turbinem.

ō turbō, turbō, turbō!argillā fēcī, em!

ō turbō, turbō, turbō!tunc lūdam turbinem!

Amoenum habet corpus,sīc ped' exiguōut (fiat cum defessus)labātur, tunc vincō!

ō turbō, turbō, turbō!sīc ped' exiguō!ō turbō, turbō, turbō!labātur, tunc vincō!

Nun” (Do nothing.)“ — נ

Gimel” (Take everything.)“ — ג

Hey” (Take half.)“ — ה

Shin” (Put one in.)“ — ש

Jólakötturinn: The Yule Cat!

Icelandic original:

Jóhannes úr Kötlum English translation:

U. N. Owen abridgement & Latin translation:

J.M Pfundstein

Nōvistī Fēlem Iūlī: iste fēlis ingēns est. Nōn scītur unde vēnerit aut quorsum ierit. Maximē lumina patēbantur, gemina ardentiaque; animīs pusillīs nōn conspicienda erant. Cōmae quāles acūs horrēbant spīnā altā et fornicāta; ungulae pilōsī pedis turpēs vīsū erant. Famēlicus feroxque circumībat nive brūmae laedente; horrōrēs ex cordibus in oppidō omnī agēbantur. Sī foris leniter vāgiēbātur, calamitās subitō fiēbat. Istī homō captandus est; mūrēs istī nōn placent. Fēminae ideō certant in suendo et dūcendō; prōnectant vestēs variās aut ūnum ūdōnillum. Nam Fēlis venīre non poterat ad līberōs ungulā captandōs-- illīs vestēs accipiendae erant ex parentibus suīs. Cum Nox Iūlī orta erat et Fēlis intrā speculābātur, līberī roseī statūtī sunt cum suīs dōnīs. Nam Catulus edere nequībat aliquem quī vestem accēpit. Iste turpissimē sibilāvit et illinc dēcucurrit. Nesciō num Felis Iūlī adhūc sit, sed frustrā iste circumeat sī proximā Brūmā omnēs quōsdam ūdōnēs recipiant!

Þið kannizt við jólaköttinn, – sá köttur var gríðarstór. Fólk vissi ekki hvaðan hann kom eða hvert hann fór. Hann glennti upp glyrnurnar sínar, glóandi báðar tvær. – Það var ekki heiglum hent að horfa í þær. Kamparnir beittir sem broddar, upp úr bakinu kryppa há, – og klærnar á loðinni löpp var ljótt að sjá. Hann sveimaði, soltinn og grimmur, í sárköldum jólasnæ, og vakti í hjörtunum hroll á hverjum bæ. Ef mjálmað var aumlega úti var ólukkan samstundis vís. Allir vissu´, að hann veiddi menn en vildi ekki mýs. Þvi var það, að konurnar kepptust við kamba og vefstól og rokk, og prjónuðu litfagran lepp eða lítinn sokk. Því kötturinn mátti ekki koma og krækja í börnin smá. – Þau urðu að fá sína flík þeim fullorðnu hjá. Og er kveikt var á jólakvöldið og kötturinn gægðist inn, stóðu börnin bíspert og rjóð, með böggulinn sinn. Því kisa mátti engan eta, sem einhverja flíkina hlaut. – Hún hvæsti þá heldur ljót og hljóp á braut. Hvort enn er hún til veit ég ekki, – en aum yrði hennar för, ef allir eignuðust næst einhverja spjör.

You know the Yule Cat: that cat is enormous. People don’t know where he came from nor where he has gone He gaped his eyes open wide, the two of them both glowing. It was no mean task to look into them. His hair sharp as needles; his back was high and arched; and the claws on his hairy paw were ugly to see. He walked about, hungry and fierce in the biting-cold Yule snow and roused chills in the heart in every town. If there came a weak meowing outside then bad luck was seen right away. Everyone knew that he hunted men and didn’t want mice. Therefore the women competed to weave and sow and spin and they knitted colorful clothes or one tiny little sock. Therefore the Cat could not come and claw at the little children. They had to get new clothes from the grownups nearby. When Yule Night arose and the Cat peeked inside the children stood tall and rosy with their wrapped-up presents. For the Kittycat could eat no one who got some new clothes. He hissed with his ugly voice and loped away. I don’t know if he still exists but his travel would be for nothing if next time everybody would just get some socks!

WE WISH YOU A FESTIVE FESTIVUS

to the tune of "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" words by Corey Zelinski (?)

VŌBĪS FESTĪVA FESTĪVA SINT!

(translation by J.M. Pfundstein)

We wish you a festive Festivus, To our friends and to all the rest of us! We wish you a festive Festivus! It’s Festivus time! The Festivus Pole brings joy to our hearts, Good tidings for Festivus, And a merry good day! We wish you a festive Festivus, To our neighbors and (to) all the rest of us, We wish you a festive Festivus, as Festivus draws near! The Airing of Grievances, first on the list, None of your disappointments will the nit-picker miss! We wish you a festive Festivus, To our guests and to all the rest of us, We wish you a festive Festivus, For Festivus is here! The Feats of Strength test words with your deeds, Who shall be the loser, and who shall succeed? We wish you (all) a festive Festivus, To the worst of us and to the best of us, We wish you a festive Festivus On Festivus day!

Vōbīs festa Festīva sint, amīcīs cēterīsque nōbīs! Vōbīs festa Festīva sint! Festīva adsunt! Festīvus tēmō gaudium nōbīs. Fēlīcēs nuntiae sint et laetum "Salvēte!" Vōbīs festa Festīva sint, proximīs cēterīsque nōbīs! Vōbīs festa Festīva sint! Festīva adsunt! Vindicātiōnēs, prīmum factū! Nūllum damnum iurgātōre latet! Vōbīs festa Festīva sint, convīvīs cēterīsque nōbīs! Vōbīs festa Festīva sint! Festīva adsunt! Facta Robōris verba tua temptant! Quis victor erit? Et quis vincētur? Vōbīs festa Festīva sint, pessimīs optimīsque nōbīs! Vōbīs festa Festīva sint! Festīva adsunt!

Auld Lang Syne (traditional)

Praeteritum Tempus (vortitur Latīnē H.C. Maynard)

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind ? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

We two have run about the slopes, and picked the daisies fine ; But we’ve wandered many a weary foot, since auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine; But seas between us broad have roared since auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Num amīcōrum veterum decet oblīviscī? Annōrum heu fugācium et temporis actī?

Actum, sodālēs, ob tempus praeteritum tempus, priusquam discesserīmus, manūs iungāmus.

Flōrēs ōlim decerpsimus ludentēs in prātīs, sed aspera perāgrāvimus diēbus ex illīs.

Actum, sodālēs, ob tempus praeteritum tempus, priusquam discesserīmus, manūs iungāmus.

Et agebāmus vacuōs diēs ad rivulum; sed dīvidit iam diū nōs aequor undōsum.

Actum, sodālēs, ob tempus praeteritum tempus, priusquam discesserīmus, manūs iungāmus.